https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx Made with wonder en-us 2017-04-21 22:02:37 UTC 2025-10-27 16:02:25 UTC hello@padlet.com demurdock18 https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167594304 ""You are a clumsy little harami. This us my reward for everything I've endured. An heirloom-breaking, clumsy little harami"" (pg. 4)
"Mariam was a thirty-three-year-old woman now, but that word, harami, still had sting. Hearing it still made her feel like she was a pest, a cockroach." (pg. 222)
One theme that is seen throughout the novel is what society labels someone vs. who they actually are. through the course of the book we see that many people only see Mariam as a harami, a mistake. Even she has internalized this second-classlessness and comes to expect bad treatment from people upon them finding out the nature of her birth. When in reality we know that Mariam is a kind and hard working girl that has suffered so much unhappiness in her life due to something as trivial as her birth. ]]> 2017-04-21 22:36:59 UTC https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167594304 demurdock18 https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167594591 ""What a stupid girl you are! You think you matter to [Jalil], that you’re wanted in his house? You think you’re a daughter to him? That he’s going to take you in? Let me tell you something. A man’s heart is a wretched, wretched thing, Mariam. It isn’t like a mother’s womb. It won’t bleed, it won’t stretch to make room for you. I’m the only one who loves you. I‘m all you have in this world, Mariam, and when I’m gone you’ll have nothing. You’ll have nothing. You are nothing! "" (pg. 27)
In this moment, we see Nana at one of her lowest points. She seems to be talking about herself here more than Mariam because without Mariam, there is nobody left for Nana. In this moment we see her berating Mariam again and demonizing Jalil as she always had, but in a few more pages, we see that she's right. Nana really was the only person that was there for Mariam, she just became so bitter and jaded by the life she had been given that she never knew how to properly express that sadness and anger to Mariam, so it  ended up turning her daughter away from her and toward a man who she knew to be a lia  ]]> 2017-04-21 22:45:52 UTC https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167594591 demurdock18 https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167600844 "Mariam founded internally, Jalil didn't treat her as a weed. He never had." (pg. 8)
""You don't know, Laila."
"Know what?" Laila wheeled around to face her mother. "What don't I know?"
Mammy's hand floated up to her chest, tapped there. "In here. What's in here." Then it fell flaccid. "You just don't know."" (pg. 125)
"But the felling didn't last. It was hard to feel, really feel Mammy's loss." (pg. 140)
In this world where women are expected to be mothers before they are able to even be daughters or children themselves, how are they supposed to be able to understand the woes of their daughters, and vice-versus. Throughout the novel we see women who are forced to become mothers and resent being made to do so. Even Fariba, who relishes in being a mother, is unable to be one to Laila because of the indescribable sadness she feels toward the loss of her sons. It is a vicious cycle that will never be broken until women are allowed to be children, first, before they are made to become mothers. ]]> 2017-04-22 03:07:02 UTC https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167600844 demurdock18 https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167601721 "At night, Mariam lay in her cot and wondered what his house in Herat was like. She wondered what it would be like to live with him, to see him every day. She pictured herself handing him a towel as he shaved, telling him when he nicked himself. She would brew tea for him. She would sew on his missing buttons. They would take walks in Herat together, in the vaulted bazaar where Jalil said you could find anything you wanted. They would ride in his car, and people would point and say, “There goes Jalil Khan with his daughter.” He would show her the famed tree that had a poet buried beneath it" (pg. 24)
"'I would find work, and, in a few years, when we had enough we'd open a little Afghan restaurant. Nothing fancy, mind you, just a modest little place, a few tables, some rugs. Maybe hang some pictures of Kabul. We'd give the Americans a taste of Afghan food. And with your mother's cooking, they'd line up and down the street.'" (pg. 150)
There is a recurring pattern, in this book, that of somebody having this big, noble dream and then having that dream theoretically, or literally, squashed right in front of their eyes by the reality of their situation. Babi and his Afghan restaurant in America, Laila wanting to marry Tariq, Mammy seeing her sons again, Mariam finally being accepted by her father as his child, the list could go on even farther. It represents that in life, big noble dreams usually don't come true, and the majority of life is having those dreams blown up in to shreds.  ]]> 2017-04-22 03:32:22 UTC https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167601721 demurdock18 https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167601976 "The room had a bed with a green-flowered blanket knit in a tightly woven, honeycomb design,, The curtains, pulled back to reveal the garden below, matched the blanket. Beside the bed was a three-drawer chest with a flower vase on it. There were shelves along the walls, with framed pictures of people Mariam did not recognize. On one of the shelves, Mariam saw a collection of identical wooden dolls, arranged in a line in order of decreasing size." (pg. 39)
All through the first half of part one, when Mariam is still living with Nana, all we here about is how heavenly and how amazing Jalil's house must be because he describes it so. Mariam literally waits outside his house all night in order to just get a pick of what is on the inside. Now that she is inside, she feels nothing but apathy as she describes something that had been nearly the Garden of Eden to her a couple of as ago as if it were a Days Inn hotel room. Now that she knows of Jalil's true nature, the house no longer holds the same magic and mystery it once had. Now it's just a regular house, and Jalil isn't God anymore, he's just a regular man, fallible and imperfect.]]> 2017-04-22 03:45:49 UTC https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167601976 demurdock18 https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167602279 "In the tandoor line, Mariam caught sideways glances shot at her, heard whispers. Her hands began to sweat. She imagines they all knew that she's been born a harami, a source of shame to her father and his family . They all knew that sh'ed betrayed her mother and disgraced herself. " (pg. 66)
This is one of Mariam's first interactions with people beside her immediate family and her husband. Not to mention that it is also in a very loud and populates area, full of strange and new people. This causes intense feelings of anxiety within Mariam, which leads her to have a mild panic attack and give herself a minor injury trying to run away from the supposed threat. In this, we see Mariam's response to being thrust into a strange environment and how terribly she interacts with others from having been so sheltered for most of her life.]]> 2017-04-22 03:55:21 UTC https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167602279 demurdock18 https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167602468 "Rasheed buried his face into her pillow, and Mariam stared, wide-eyed, at the ceiling above his shoulder, shivering, lips pursed, felling the heat of his quick breaths on her shoulder. The air between them smelled of tobacco, of onions and grilled lamb they had eaten earlier. Now and then, his ear rubbed against her cheek, and she knew form the scratchy feel the he had shaved it. " (pg. 77)
This is probably one of the least erotic sex scenes ever written, after 50 Shade of Gray. That is because sex without love in this novel symbolizes the woman in the relationship giving up any control or power she had in the relationship or her own body. She now belongs, head to toe, to her husband, meaning that any form of sex where love is not involved is literally the woman just laying there, as Mariam is, and allowing her husband to take away her agency because that is how this society works.]]> 2017-04-22 04:03:46 UTC https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167602468 demurdock18 https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167602639 "On every page were women, beautiful women,who wore no shirts, no trousers, no socks or underpants. They wore nothing at all. They lay in beds amid tumbled sheets and gazed back at Mariam with half-lidded eyes. In most of the pictures, their legs were apart , and Mariam had a full view of the dark place between...They looked back over their shoulders with a look of bored contempt." (pg.82 )
""I'll say it this way: If [Mariam] were a car, she would be a Volga"..."[Laila],"..."you, on the other hand, would be a Benz. A brand new, first-class, shiny Benz."" (pg. 222)
One integral them in this book is that of the inherent and rampant misogyny present in Afghan culture. In these two quotes we see women being objectified and made out to be nothing but objects there for the pleasure of men and nothing more. The sexual double standard is also present in the first quote considering if Mariam had books of that nature, her husband would most likely beat her, if not kill her.]]> 2017-04-22 04:10:26 UTC https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167602639 demurdock18 https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167602934 ""I worry that you're angry with me."
Rasheed sighed.
"Are you?"
His eyes shifted to her. "Why would I be angry?"
"I don't know, but ever since the baby-"
"Is that the kind of man you take me for, after everything I've done for you?"" (pg. 95)
After her miscarriage, and seven more to follow, Mariam's relationship with Rasheed has become nothing more than that she cooks for, keeps house for and sometimes has sex with him. There is no more love in this relationship that barely had any, if any at all, to begin with. Therefore, the death of the first baby represents the death of the idea that Mariam and Rasheed can have a happy marriage. The other miscarriages just cement the hatred that Rasheed feels toward Mariam even further.]]> 2017-04-22 04:21:36 UTC https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167602934 demurdock18 https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167603054 ""Then [Rasheed] was gone, leaving Mariam to spit out pebbles, blood, and the fragments of two broken molars." (pg. 104)
"[Rasheed] sat beside [Laila], stroking her neck, murmuring. His hand slowly crept down her back, then up again. He leaned in, flashed his crowded teeth." (pg. 229)
In this novel, disfigured teeth are meant to represent a broken or disfigured person. After Rasheed makes her chew pebbles, Mariam loses two of her teeth, meaning that she has now become one of the many sad and broken people within this town thanks to Rasheed. Though none of Rasheed's teeth seem to be missing, his teeth are still disgusting and are meant to represent the fact that though he is not visibly broken, he hides it through a layer of crowded ugliness.]]> 2017-04-22 04:28:03 UTC https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167603054 demurdock18 https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167603142 "...Mammy had stood over Babi and said in a menacing way, "That's your business cousin, isn't it? To make nothing your business. Even your own sons going off the war. How I pleaded with you. But you buried your nose in those cursed books and let your sons go like they were a pair of haramis."" (pg. 110)
From this we grasp multiple things about Babi. One is that he is less dominant than his wife in the relationship considering she stands over him. Also, we learn that he his a weaker man, both physically and emotionally. When faced with such a terrible decision on whether or not to allow his sins to go off to war, he would rather hide away and avoid responsibility]]> 2017-04-22 04:35:12 UTC https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167603142 demurdock18 https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167603228 "Sometimes Mammy had good days...She got to hear Mammy speak affectionately about Babi" (pg. 119-120)
In this section we find out that Mammy seems to suffer from some sort of form of bipolar-depressive disorder considering that she has her "good" and "bad" days, with the good being few and far between. In this text we get a glimpse of the old Fariba that we knew at the beginning of the book when we were looking through Mariam's eyes. But now we see here through Laila's, a sad, tired and fragile woman.]]> 2017-04-22 04:40:14 UTC https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167603228 demurdock18 https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167603287 "The Bamiyan Valley...the snowcapped Hindu kush" (pg. 148)
In this valley Laila and her father are far away from the terrible war, poverty and sadness that is felt back in the village. Here they can talk of their dreams and be who they are not allowed to be back in Kabul, actual people, with ambitions and hopes and dreams.]]> 2017-04-22 04:44:23 UTC https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167603287 demurdock18 https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167603344 "Laila pictured herself in a refugee camp...the disappointed gaze of vultures." (pg. 219)
Usually, babies represent new beginnings and hope, a new start. But in this book, they represent the end, being trapped somewhere for the rest of your life and never being able to leave it forever because of this screaming little anchor that you have growing inside of you. Instead of going out and making a life of her own, Laila is now forced to stay with Rasheed and Mariam, in a life of misery forever, because of her baby.]]> 2017-04-22 04:47:56 UTC https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167603344 demurdock18 https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167603410 "Outside, an oriel was warbling...a single shot followed by three more, then nothing." (pg. 225)
The symbols of freedom being displayed outside of the house where these two women are trapped forever are just teasing them with a freedom they both know that they've already lost. Laila with the oriel because it is able to be free and fly away like she was once able to and Mariam with the sound of the wheelbarrow, which reminds her of the kolba in which she grew up in with Nana and her first ever memory.]]> 2017-04-22 04:51:04 UTC https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167603410 demurdock18 https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167603477 ""I will still cook and wash the dishes...felt meager, somehow illicit." (pg. 226)
In this we literally see Mariam become Nana. A jaded, bitter women who takes out her misplaced aggression and sadness on an undeserving girl that only wants her approval and acceptance. She has allowed Rasheed to turn her into a miserly old crone that is embittered toward any younger woman that dare remind her of the happiness and opportunity she once had compared to life she has now,]]> 2017-04-22 04:54:41 UTC https://padlet.com/demurdock18/8r9f4h0o0nxx/wish/167603477