Read the following essay and tell me what score you would give this essay and WHY. Please write at least ONE paragraph to answer this question.

BIA — 2014-03-14 13:26:03 UTC

Remember our FIRST CLASS about essay writing:

To begin your essay, carefully read the statement presented in the writing prompt. Make sure that you fully understand it. Then, decide what your position is: Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Consider to what extent you agree or disagree with the position: Are you in 100% agreement or do you only partly agree with the statement? Your answer to these questions will make up the main idea or thesis of your essay. It will form the foundation of your essay and will determine what kind of support, or examples, you will provide.

A strong thesis does not merely repeat or rephrase the question or prompt. It does not state how others might respond to it. Rather, it presents your point of view.

A thesis statement should:

answer the question given in the writing prompt
tell the reader what your subject is
inform the reader what you think and feel about the subject
use clear, active language

"Advances in computer technology have made the classroom unnecessary, since students and teachers are able to communicate with each other from computer terminal at home or at work."

Now read the following essay and tell me what score you would give it (This is a topic we wrote on!): No doubt, the computer technology has made miracle advances in almost every walk of life. Technology has never influenced man more in the history, than today. But some traditional values and concepts needs to remain intact with our lives, so as to make our future generation become fully aware, of not only the advancements, but also of the need of the fellowship, humanity, effects of the personalities and the need of the human supervision.

Although, computers and the Internet, can be useful to study in the higher education sector. The need of a traditional classroom setup, cannot be, and should not be fully replaced by a computer system.

Also, without a traditional school, students will learn the subjects but will miss the object of learning. They will learn mechanism and working of a scientific process but will lack the interesting and informative discussion on the topic. They will learn to read and write but will lack the abilities of group working and consequently the quality of being patient.

Moreover, it is an obvious observation that pupils observe and absorb many habits from their teachers, whom they idealize.This is a method of learning mannerism that can not be gained from a computer terminal. The effect of personalities cannot be ignored. This is important for character building of young minds. A teacher is the best example that a child has in his mind.

Now coming to other side of the topic, a computer based study program is like a knight in shining armour, for those adults who want to return to schools, to complete or further study, but are reluctant to join the traditional classrooms. The mature learners can get the full advantage of this setting. They can work at their own pace, without worrying about deadlines. They can take help according to their needs. In fact, this setting allows them to work in a flexible environment and with a flexible schedule. They can research and up-date themselves with the latest information from the Internet. They can study in the latest fashion and without interrupting their work and family.

Hence, researching the topic, it is clear that each setting has its own advantages and disadvantages. Learning methods may vary according to the convenience and need of the learner. However, the computer technology cannot replace the traditional classroom setting.

What score would you give this essay? How could this writer make it even better??

by Ray Nee

Read the following essay and tell me what score you would give this essay and WHY. Please write at least ONE paragraph to answer this question.