Physical bullying includes hitting, kicking, tripping, pinching and pushing or damaging property.  Physical bullying causes both short term and long term damage. 

Verbal bulling includes name calling, insults, teasing, intimidation, homophobic or racist remarks, or verbal abuse. While verbal bullying can start off harmless, it can escalate to levels which start affecting the individual target.

Social bullying, sometimes referred to as covert bullying, is often harder to recognise and can be carried out behind the bullied person’s back.  It is designed to harm someone’s social reputation and / or cause humiliation.

Social bullying can include:

The Cyber Bullying Research Centre defines cyber bullying as:  Intentional and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, phones, and other electronic devices.

Cyber bullying can be overt or covert bullying behaviours using digital technologies including hardware such as computers and smartphones, and software such as social media, instant messaging, texts, websites and other online platforms.

Cyber bullying can happen at any time. It can be in public or in private and sometimes only known to the target and the person bullying.

Cyber bullying can include:

Sometimes signs bullying can be far more hidden. They can include:

Encourage your child to tell you the whole story. Listen calmly and without interrupting, and reassure them that they've done the right thing by speaking up. Your child may need to tell the story more than once. 

Have a conversation about what happened. Try not to let your very understandable emotions (anger, distress...) show. Your feelings can intensify the child's or make it worse for them and might even deter your child from talking to you another time.

Remind your child that bullying is never OK, and that whatever they are feeling – e.g. hurt, scared, sad, angry – is understandable and normal.

Ask your child what they would like to happen. Often all they want to know is how to stop the bullying. Children may feel that if the perpetrator is punished, it will be worse for them in the long run. 

Note what, when and where the bullying occurred, who was involved, how often and if anybody else witnessed it. Don't offer to confront the young person or their parents yourself. This might make things worse for your child. 

Bullying arises from social situations - family, school, clubs, and work - and if possible, cases of bullying are best dealt with where they occur. In children's lives, school is the most common location for bullying. It's therefore important you alert the school to the situation, as they may not be aware of it. 

Don't assume the school will know about the situation, because your child may not have told them. The majority of children and teenagers do not disclose to teachers or parents. Schools are keen to prevent and stop bullying behaviour. 

Encourage your child not to get angry or aggressive in response to bullying, as this may make things worse. Help them explore other possibilities, including using neutral or (if appropriate) joking language (read about this technique called 'fogging'), acting bored or unimpressed, and identifying safe places, friendly groups of kids or caring staff members they can turn to.

4,Teach Students to be Effective Bystander
Strive to empower the bystanders in your class. Encourage them to stand up against bullying behavior or to report it to you or another adult. Remind them that research has shown that bullying ends when one person takes a stand. Then provide safe and confidential ways that they can report bullying incidents.

5,Keep Your Ear to the Ground
Victims of bullying are often afraid or embarrassed to come forward. As a result, you may need to rely on other students to let you know when bullying is occurring. Identify your class leaders early in the school year and check in with them. Let them be your eyes and ears when you cannot be present. Also, be sure you make it safe for them to alert you of potential issues. No student wants to be considered a snitch. So, make sure you implement ways for them to get information to you without the rest of the students knowing who it came from.

6,Maintain Open Communication With Students
Strive to build a rapport with all your students. Get to know them as individuals. Greet each student every day and ask how things are going. Watch for signs that they might be experiencing bullying. Do your best to find out about their interests and goals. And if they are struggling, offer support or direct them to school resources where their specific needs can be met.
7,Increase Bullying Awareness Among Parents
Engage parents in your bullying prevention programs. Increase awareness through PTA/PTO meetings, conferences, newsletters, and social media. Encourage parents to support school rules and bullying intervention strategies. If a parent reports a bullying incident, be sure to investigate it right away. Try to partner with parents to reduce bullying incidents in your classroom.

8,Prevent Cliques in Your Classroom
One way to prevent cliques in your classroom is to assign students to groups when they have a group project. When you allow kids to pick their own groups, this opens the door to bullying opportunities. It also allows cliques to strengthen, and it creates an opportunity for kids to ostracize other students. But when you select the group, you are ensuring that your students learn to work with those outside their circle of friends. Pre-selected groups also give students the opportunity to learn how to work with different types of people.

9,Be an Advocate for Anti-Bullying
Ensure that your school has effective anti-bullying goals and policies. Talk with other staff members about developing a culture that holds students who bully accountable and doesn’t blame the victim. Some people mistakenly believe that victims of bullying bring it on themselves. But bullies must always own the bullying behavior. Encourage everyone to adopt this mindset.

10,Create a Sense of Community
Research indicates that fostering a sense of community in the classroom can lower the number of bullying incidents, improve school climate, and facilitate healing for anyone who has been impacted by bullying. When students feel connected to their school, their peers, and their teacher, they do better. Do what you can to create a sense of community among your students. Create a team atmosphere where everyone feels like they belong and the students learn to support one another.

11,Respond Quickly to Every Bullying Incident
When you spot bullying, address it right away. Avoid normalizing bullying with statements like “kids will be kids.” If you minimize bullying, you are sending a message that bullying is OK. When you do that, kids are less likely to feel safe in school and the bullying will likely escalate. Bullies expect people to keep silent about their actions. Surprise them and call them out. Bullying is no longer an effective tool for them if they are disciplined when they engage in it.

12,Speak With the Victim Privately
Create an environment where your students feel safe talking with you. Empathize with how they are feeling and provide ideas for overcoming bullying. Make a commitment to help the victim resolve the issue. Also, don't try to talk to the victim in front of the bully. The victimized student won't be as forthcoming or truthful about what happened with the bully present. Fear of retaliation often keeps victims silent. Make sure you schedule a safe time to talk with the victim when the bully will not be aware of the meeting.

13,Speak With the Bully Separately
When you meet with students that bully others, don't allow them to blame the victim. Instead, encourage them to own their behavior. Address the bullying behavior and administer the appropriate discipline. Then, give them ideas for behaving differently in the future. You may even require them to research bullying and write a report about it. The key is to teach kids who bully others how harmful their behavior is to other people.

14,Develop Appropriate Interventions
Both the victim and the bully need intervention and support. For instance, the victim may need to speak with ​a guidance counselor to regain self-esteem. The bully also may benefit from speaking with the guidance counselor to learn better ways of communicating. But, do not have the bully and victim get counseling together. Bullying is not the same as a conflict. It is an unbalanced situation where one student has more power than the other and uses that power to intimidate, humiliate, and wound the other student. Peer mediation or other types of group counseling are not effective in bullying situations.

15,Keep a Close Eye on the Situation
Keeping tabs on both the bully and the victim is an important step in making sure the bullying ends. Watch how they interact in your classroom. Keep tabs on them at lunch and pay attention to what happens at recess. Make a few surprise visits to the bus area if you don't have bus duty. Observing how your students interact with each will help you ensure there are no more bullying incidents.

16,Check in With Both the Victim and the Bully
Ask how things are going and if they’re having any problems. Give the victim tools for dealing with future bullying incidents and for regaining self-confidence. Encourage the bully to make good choices. Also, don’t hold a grudge against students who bully. Give them an opportunity to put the past in the past. With the proper support and encouragement, they can learn to treat others with respect and kindness.

17,Establish Your Classroom as a Safe Place
When you have a bully in your classroom, this impacts the entire class, not just the victim. For many students, the classroom can suddenly feel like an unsafe place—even if they were never targeted by the bully. Not only do they experience fear and emotional distress, but they also may have trouble concentrating. For this reason, you need to re-establish your classroom as a safe place. This may mean going back to what you did during the first days of school when you talked about the importance of respect and kindness.

Denial, shock, feeling
irritable, anger, guilt, shame,
low mood, depression,
hopelessness, helplessness,
confusion, concentration and
communication problems,
anxiety, fear, isolation,
numbness.

Sleep problems, flashbacks,
heart racing, low energy, being
on edge and easily startled,
tension, aches, pains and loss of appetite. 

Become more infant-like, clingy, fearful, thumb-suck, disengage from nursery/school, start bedwetting and imitate the traumatic events. 

(Jensen, 2009).

Resiliency Theory: People can develop resiliency when they are surrounded by others who tell them what is good about them.

Asset Theory: The more assets a student has, both internal (conflict resolution skills, sense of purpose, etc.) and external (adult relationships, caring school climate, etc.), the more likely they will succeed.

Social Capital Theory:  People increase their chances for success when they know the right people and have meaningful connections with those who can help. People in poverty greatly benefit from having trusting relationships with people who have benefited from education.

Faulty Attribution Theory:  When we attribute motives to someone else’s behavior without discovering the “why” behind their actions. 

Why would math scores suffer, but not reading skills?
"The study of mathematics is a cumulative skill. If a child were to fall behind in one area of math, he or she would have a difficult time keeping up with the next math skill. Learning to read, on the other hand, is a fluid process. This means that when a child is struggling with reading, it is easier for him to catch up to the rest of his peers."

Internalized Problems

"The study found that internalized problems were much more prevalent than externalized problems. Internalized problems include anxiety, loneliness, sadness, and low self-esteem. Externalized problems, such as arguing, fighting, or showing anger, were less apparent."

Source: Brashear, T. (2019, February 12). "The effects of divorce on children includes emotional trauma." Divorce Magazine. https://www.divorcemag.com/articles/effects-of-divorce-on-children-2

"What some researchers refer to as 'post-dissolution PTSS' (post-traumatic stress symptoms) is characterized by the re-experiencing of symptoms, including intrusive thoughts or dreams about the dissolution and avoidance behaviors."

Other post-traumatic stress symptoms that may arise in the aftermath of a divorce or separation include:
1. "Overly negative thoughts about oneself or the world"
2. "Exaggerated self-blame or blame of others
3. "Decreased interest in activities"
4. "Feeling isolated"
5. "Irritability or aggression"
6. "Paranoia"
7. "Risky or destructive behavior"
8. "Difficulty concentrating"
9. "Difficulty sleeping"

Source: Abrams, A. (2020, March 22). "Post-divorce trauma and PTSD." Verywell mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/post-divorce-trauma-4583824

A child who has experienced trauma may have many questions or choose not to talk about the event at all. Either way, a teacher may be the trusted adult in which the child confides. If the child asks questions, the teacher should try to answer them. If the teacher doesn’t know how to answer a question, admit that to the child. A child should never be forced to talk about his traumatic experience before he is ready. When the child is ready, he may choose different outlets such as writing, drawing, or playing with toys. As the child is sharing the experience, the teacher should avoid telling the child how he should feel. Teachers should expect strong emotions from the child; assure the child that it is okay to feel upset (Mental Health First Aid USA, 2016).

"Teaching a child about self-regulation is important."

Source: Cowley, B.J. (2018, September, 28). "Building relationships with students who have experienced trauma." Seen. https://www.seenmagazine.us/Articles/Article-Detail/ArticleId/7240/Building-Relationships-with-Students-who-have-Experienced-Trauma

Military life can be a source of psychological stress for children. Multiple deployments, frequent moves and having a parent injured or die is a reality for many children in military families.

Wartime parental deployments can be one of the most stressful events of a child’s life.

♦  Changes reported included changes in school performance, lashing out in anger, worrying, hiding emotions, disrespecting parents and authority figures, feeling a sense of loss, and symptoms consistent with depression.
♦  High levels of sadness were seen in children in all age groups.

♦ Depression was seen in about one in four children.

♦ Academic problems occurred in one in five children.

♦ Thirty-seven percent of children with a deployed parent reported that they seriously worry about what could happen to their deployed caretaker.

♦ Parents reported that one in five children coped poorly or very poorly to deployment separation.

♦ Media coverage of the war posed a significant source of stress for children and makes it much more difficult for children to cope with a parent’s deployment.

Length of deployment was associated with mental health problems including depression, acting out, and externalizing behaviors.

Family supports can mitigate the children’s negative experiences with a parental deployment. Support systems also have the ability to support the remain- ing parent’s mental well-being, thus improving outcomes for children.

Many children report that through family support services they had friends to talk to, and children who felt supported showed increased resiliency.

Enhanced family resources, including family sup- port, represents an important factor in reducing the likelihood that families will leave the military due to long separations experienced as a result of long or multiple deployments.

Overall, research indicates that families who get or feel supported by their communities, the military or religious organizations experience less deployment- related stress.

‌
Peterson, S. (2018, January 25). Military and Veteran Families. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network. https://www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/populations-at-risk/military-and-veteran-families

‌
Cook, C., Slater-Williams, A., & Harrison, L. (2012). Article 6 Secondary PTSD in Children of Service Members: Strategies for Helping Professionals. https://www.counseling.org/resources/library/VISTAS/vistas12/Article_6.pdf

‌

1. "Preschoolers most often react to their parents’ break-up with fear and guilt."
2. "They’re confused: young children are not able to understand what is going on and why."
3. "Young children often worry about who will take care of them, if there will be enough food or money, where they’ll live, and so on."

Behavioral Observations of Preschoolers

1. "Parents [and teachers] will often see children go back to early behaviors: for example, the child may want a security blanket again, or they may have problems using the toilet.
2. "They may cry, cling, or disobey."
3. "They may have night fears or fears at separation."
4. "Children may imagine strange things about why one parent is gone."
5. "Children often think they caused the break-up."
6. "If a parent is very upset, a preschooler may hide his own feelings so he won’t upset the parent."

How to Help Preschoolers through Your Divorce
Although the below is for parents, if a teacher is aware that a child is going through a parental divorce, they can speak with the parents regarding the need for the following:

1. "Young children need to be told clearly and often that their parents will take care of them, and that both Mom and Dad still love them."
2. "They need to be told that they are still a family, no matter where each family member lives."
3. "Parents need to explain in a simple way why the break-up happened; this will help the children know that the problems are between Mom and Dad and that the break-up is not their fault."
4. "They need a chance to talk about their fears."
5. "Both parents should spend lots of time with their children."
6. "Parents should avoid conflict in front of the children."
7. "When violence has occurred, the safety of the children must be insured."
8. "Showing respect for the other parent can undo the damage to children who have seen violence."

The Effects of Divorce on Children Ages 6–8
1. Children in this age range often respond with grief ("crying and sobbing; this happens with boys more than with girls"). 
2. "They also feel a deep yearning for the absent parent."
3. "Since they don’t see the absent parent often, they usually won’t express the anger they feel toward him or her. They will express their anger toward the custodial parent, and they may blame him/her for the absence of the other parent."
4. "When contact with the absent parent is reduced, children at this age often believe that parent has stopped loving them", which is emotional trauma.

How to Help Young Children [ages 6-8] through Your Divorce
Although the below is for parents, if a teacher is aware that a child is going through a parental divorce, they can speak with the parents regarding the need for the following:
1. Children "should not feel pressure to take sides, so never criticize the other parent in front of the children."
2. "They need to know that both parents still love them."
3. "Children must be able to spend time with the absent parent."

The Effects of Divorce on Preteens (ages 9–12)
1. "Most of these children can understand some of the reasons for the break-up."
2. "They will seriously and bravely try to make the best of it."
3. "These children will often hide the distress they are feeling."
4. "They may say they see their nonresident parent enough – when in fact they miss him or her terribly."
5. "They may be afraid to ask for more time with their other parent because they know this will upset the resident parent."

Things to keep in mind

1. "About 25% of children at this age will take sides in the parents’ battle, most often siding with the mother."
2. "Although they are better able than their younger brothers and sisters to see both sides, they still tend to see things in black-and-white terms", will may lead to labelling "one parent as 'the good guy' and the other parent as the 'villain.' "
3. "Children at this age are likely to feel intense anger, and unlike their younger siblings, they are very aware of their anger."
4. "A badly shaken sense of self is also common at this age."
5. "Children may have many health complaints or problems, including infections, headaches, stomachaches, asthma, etc."
6. "Children may not have as many friends as before, and they may fear that their peers will reject them."
7. "These children are more likely to become friends with other 'rejected' classmates. These new friends may have emotional or behavioral problems, which can lead to more serious problems: failing school, breaking laws, or engaging in risky sex, drug, or alcohol abuse."

How to Help Preteens through Your Divorce
Although the below is for parents, if a teacher is aware that a child is going through a parental divorce, they can speak with the parents regarding the need for the following:
1. "Children at this age need to be able to talk to each parent about the break-up and about life after the break-up; to express their concerns, fears, and complaints."
2. "Parents should offer love and support to their preteens, and they need to acknowledge their children’s anger."
3. "Often, the children yearn for the parents to get back together. If this is not going to happen ... children should be told clearly and with no doubt; creating false hope does not help the children."
4. "Parents must control their anger towards each other. If their anger becomes violent, parents must disengage, and they should avoid contact until they learn control."
5. "Parents should minimize conflict in front of their children ... Children learn social skills by watching conflicts get resolved; if parents can negotiate and compromise, they model good social skills. 

6. "Parents must allow the children to love the other parent. Encourage children to call or write letters, and help the children give the other parent gifts on special days ..."
7. "Say good things about the other parent in front of the children: praise your ex’s good qualities."
8. "Avoid making children 'choose sides.' "

Source: Gordon, D. and Arbuthnot, J. (2019, June 7). "The effects of divorce on children." Divorce Magazine. https://www.divorcemag.com/articles/effects-of-divorce-on-children

From deaths of immediate family members, desolation of their homes and communities, to separation of their loved ones who have not been able to leave the war torn countries from which they came, children of warzones suffer without really sharing their stories. Madi (name has been changed to protect privacy) has come from Syria on a boat, a bus, by foot, and by car. His mother was pregnant with his little brother on the harrowing journey. Madi is only 2 years old. He has lost his front teeth. When asked what happened, the mother explains with hand signals and noises “bang bang” and a motion of falling down. The mother and father are very protective, and understandably so. They often don’t let their children take the smallest of risks, from climbing a tree to using a zipline. The trauma of the parents must also have an affect on the children. 

Sara Hommel is a director of  Save the Children’s Heart (Healing and Learning Through the Arts) programme (Collard, 2018). 

http://settlement.org/

http://www.unhcr.ca/how-you-can-help/teachers/

http://teachingrefugees.com/

5-11 Years Old

11-14 Years Old

14-18 Years Old

Loss

Concussion Legacy Foundation. 2020. "Concussion Resources." Retrieved from https://concussionfoundation.org/concussion-resources?gclid=Cj0KCQjw1qL6BRCmARIsADV9Jta0VkiTYBrKRET3jxQ5lpQsuT4uI-1rkF6ZkjjVEJGyhJwGry6AiVcaAu6PEALw_wcB

Children learn their self-worth from the reactions of others, particularly those closest to them. Caregivers have the greatest influence on a child’s sense of self-worth and value. Abuse and neglect make a child feel worthless and despondent.

Long-Term Health Consequences

Traumatic experiences in childhood have been linked to increased medical conditions throughout the individuals’ lives.Long-Term Health Consequences

The one-size-fits-all approach to communicating with families is not enough. After all, households can take many forms (separated or divorced parents, blended families, two moms, two dads, partners, stepparents, and foster families). First, find out about each household. Some schools and programs have emergency contact and family information forms as part of the registration process, but it’s helpful to confirm directly with the adults caring for the child. For each household ask questions like “Who are the adults in the household?,” “What is their relationship to the child?,” and “What does the child call each adult?”

Once those basics are established, set up a time to discuss the preferences and needs of both homes—individually or together, depending on family dynamics. Talk about the best way to communicate with each household and who the primary contacts are. This demonstrates respect for the families’ individual needs and appreciation for the contributions each person brings to the child’s life. It is good to remember that contact information can change and may need to be updated throughout the year.

Create a Teacher–Family Partnership Action Plan—a written document that outlines strengths, concerns, goals, resources, and specific actions that will take place to make sure both households receive information necessary to support their child. It is very helpful to have this in place at the beginning of the school year or as soon as possible thereafter. The action plan helps you consider the input and concerns of all adults responsible for the child’s care. It is a way to make sure all adult family members provide input and effectively receive both individual family communications about their child and general classroom communications intended for all families.

The sample form below is a tool to help you develop an action plan with families and to ensure ongoing collaboration and communication about the child. Adapt it to prepare for teacher–family interactions. Use the form to note, reflect on, and thoughtfully capture and respond to the particular needs of the child and both households. Identify, as needed, new and ongoing goals and resources you and the family members can use to support the child and family. Consider the language and literacy needs of the family and respectfully include that information in the plan.

To ensure that all households receive general classroom messages, choose a few different methods for sharing information. Phone messages, emails, newsletters, and family–school notebooks are excellent ways to stay in touch, as long as they’re easy for both homes to access.