https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz Think back to a time when you received messages about race. How old were you? Who said it? What did they say? Was the message +/-/~? en-us 2020-06-16 20:03:52 UTC 2020-06-16 22:51:02 UTC hello@padlet.com rebbykern https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629525601 That as a white girl, I was 'different' for wanting to have dark skinned babydolls. I remember family members making comments that I always had my two dark skinned babydolls with me -- they couldn't believe my mom would buy them for me.]]> 2020-06-16 20:04:57 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629525601 rebbykern https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629526705 My earliest memory of having been taught racist beliefs was about 4 or 5 years old.  I was at a friends house and there was a photo of her sister with a Black boy at a dance.  I vividly remember questioning my friend why her sister was allowed to go to a dance with him because I had been taught interracial dating / marriage wasn't acceptable.  ]]> 2020-06-16 20:05:52 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629526705 rebbykern https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629527046 I have two half brothers that are POC and one of my earliest memories  is someone telling me that they couldn't be my brothers because we didn't look a like. I was only 6, so I didn't understand that they were my half-brothers, not just my brothers, let alone a different race. I am remember feeling very confused and upset. Negative.]]> 2020-06-16 20:06:09 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629527046 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662418 As a kid, before cars had automatic locks, my mom would insist and quickly lock the doors anytime were are at a stop-sign or moving slowly through "bad neighborhoods". Often it was when she saw men, and mostly black and men of color. I think it was encouraged because of media/news.

]]> 2020-06-16 22:34:21 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662418 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662467 I remember at an early age hearing parents and neighbors describing an apartment complex as where the cops would get called for domestic violence. I later thought I should share this information with my cousin as we rode by in the back of the car. She pointed out to me that domestic violence was happening all over town, but that the police were only showing up in that neighborhood. She called me to question why.

]]> 2020-06-16 22:34:24 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662467 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662513 I have two clear memories from third grade that have come up for  me recently. For some reason in my class it was cool to stack your Goosebumps books you were reading on your desk. I asked my mom if I could lend some of my books to a friend in my class. My mom asked if she was white or black and when I said black, she said no. That same year I asked my mom to do my hair a certain way and she asked if I had seen a little white or black girl with their hair in that style.]]> 2020-06-16 22:34:29 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662513 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662553 I remember there being only one Black girl in my first grade class. Her name was Jasmine and she was constantly getting in trouble in class. My mom told me that it was because she had a difficult home life and that she needed friendship and love. Jasmine was so excited when I invited her to my birthday party. ]]> 2020-06-16 22:34:33 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662553 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662557 2020-06-16 22:34:34 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662557 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662583 I am white and my godparents are an inter-racial couple - wife is white and husband is black. I remember when I was younger not understanding that my "Uncle" Ralph and I weren't actually related and that my parents laughed at me when I asked about that. Then as I got older, I can remember my parents telling me that Uncle Ralph was their best friend and they "didn't see color" and that I shouldn't either. That made me think that not seeing color was the right answer, which inadvertently avoided people's pain because I was taught not to see it ]]> 2020-06-16 22:34:36 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662583 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662598 My earliest memory about race was going to my nanny's house for the first time and meeting her grandson who was Black but lacked pigment. I remember being curious.]]> 2020-06-16 22:34:37 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662598 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662608 2020-06-16 22:34:38 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662608 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662702 I ws]]> 2020-06-16 22:34:46 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662702 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662718 I must have been about 4 or 5 years old and I was walking down the street with my mom and a little boy and girl of color ran past us- I remember asking my mom why they were a different- my mom said they aren't different they are just like you, only darker skin]]> 2020-06-16 22:34:47 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662718 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662729 Any time my family would drive in the car down through neighborhoods, the city, etc... we would drive by groups of black people. Any time there was a group of 3 or more black people my parents would always refer to them as hoodlums.]]> 2020-06-16 22:34:48 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662729 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662734 In first grade, I was one of the quickest students to finish my work. My teacher I remember pretty suddenly gave me a nickname, Speedy Gonzalez. As a 6 year old I didn't know what that meant, and it even felt playful. When I told my parents (my dad is hispanic, mom is white, my last name is hyphenated), my dad was really upset. Again, it felt playful to me as a 6 year old but later as I reflected on it, it felt more hurtful and dismissive. ~]]> 2020-06-16 22:34:48 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662734 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662812 I have CMPD in my family and I remember vividly my mother telling me that there was a group of people who wrote songs about "F*c& the police" and they want to harm your family member just for doing his job. To them, certain black people and POC were ok, but there was an obvious division between what was "acceptable"]]> 2020-06-16 22:34:55 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629662812 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663078 Some messages I received about race early on were situational, environmental vs outright said. The women who worked in my preschool kitchen were Black, the teachers were Black, the janitors were Black. There were no White people doing these jobs. The White people were are work. The Black people were "the help." It wasn't out right said, but it these implied roles have stuck with me always.]]> 2020-06-16 22:35:13 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663078 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663119 My grandparents, growing up, would not order food from anyone in a restaurant setting that is not "white." My grandfather will ask for a different server. They also wouldn't allow us to watch TV shows where black families were the primary characters. Only recently, have they started adjusting, I wouldn't say accepting, but just saying less.

]]> 2020-06-16 22:35:16 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663119 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663126 In 6th grade I was invited to Carowinds. I had never been to Carowinds (located 2 hours from my home town) and was so excited to go! My dad wouldn't allow me to go b/c the girl who invited me (my best friend at the time - I didn't have a lot) was black. I was heart broken.]]> 2020-06-16 22:35:16 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663126 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663158 2020-06-16 22:35:19 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663158 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663313 When I was in the first grade I had one black classmate. And I recall my mom suggesting that he must have come from a "good" family. Negative. I am appalled recalling that.  ]]> 2020-06-16 22:35:32 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663313 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663319 I grew up in a very rural area of the UK. One of my first interactions/memories with a black man was when I was about 6, we were in London for a flight, and he was standing behind my family in the grocery store line. I remember being curious about him and i remember he had a big, beautiful smile. My brother and I talked to him. I don't remember details other than that he was very kind. When we left the store my Dad explained to my little brother (who asked if he was different) that he was a friendly man, probably the same age as my dad, the only difference was the color of their skin.]]> 2020-06-16 22:35:33 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663319 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663411 I grew up in a small, rural town and our school district was pretty small too. There was only one black family in our entire district while I was growing up or in school. I don't remember anything negative just that one daughter was a year younger than me and we both ran track. Her sister was a few years older and a track star in our little town. My mom happened to work with their mom. ]]> 2020-06-16 22:35:41 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663411 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663476 My grandparents referring to people as "colored" not in a negative way but in a they're "different" old school way of thinking ]]> 2020-06-16 22:35:43 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663476 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663567 I remember as a child learning about the Holocaust and finding out that there were people didn't like Jewish people - enough to kill them in masses. I was confused, because my friend who was Jewish was "just another white person," like me. I can't remember specifically becoming aware of color, but I clearly already had this idea set at this age. ]]> 2020-06-16 22:35:49 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663567 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663650 My sister had a dark-skinned baby doll when we were growing up and she carried it everywhere with her. I vividly remember my grandmother and mom getting in a huge fight over the fact that she would buy that baby doll for my sister.]]> 2020-06-16 22:35:55 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663650 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663864 I had several friends in middle school and high school who were told that dating or going to a dance with a person of color was not allowed. I never understood why. It appeared the reason was just because.]]> 2020-06-16 22:36:07 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663864 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663898 A white classmate used a racial slur (in reference to a Black classmate + friend in first grade) that I had never heard before, but I could tell from the way they said it that it was a bad word. Later, I asked my mom what it meant. She confirmed that it was meant to be hateful and in that moment I had the sinking realization that my classmate probably felt comfortable saying it to me because I was also white and maybe they thought I would agree? I didn't (but I didn't stick up for my friend, either)]]> 2020-06-16 22:36:11 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663898 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663905 I was traveling with my grandparents and when we stopped for gas they shared this "was not a good part of town" when I looked out my window everyone was a person of color. I was confused.]]> 2020-06-16 22:36:12 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663905 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663976 I grew up in a very white community in NH - when we went to my grandmother's house outside of DC, I remember wanting to play with the POC neighbors and swim in their pool. My family was skeptical and I felt self conscious about going into their homes.]]> 2020-06-16 22:36:18 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629663976 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629664030 Asking questions as a small child about why people had different color skin and being told it was rude to point out or talk about racial differences ]]> 2020-06-16 22:36:23 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629664030 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629664197 I remember my grandmother telling us to not listen to black people music or black people television. ]]> 2020-06-16 22:36:37 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629664197 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629664240 2020-06-16 22:36:41 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629664240 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629664401 I can remember so many different family occasions where my extended family was sitting around a table + my uncle (who worked in the city) would refer to black people as then n-word. 

]]> 2020-06-16 22:36:54 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629664401 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629664622 2020-06-16 22:37:15 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629664622 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629664970 I took a black friend to Masquerade Ball in high school..my mom said - you are just friends, right?

]]> 2020-06-16 22:37:47 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629664970 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629665066 This was the first time I was directly informed by my parents that interracial dating wasn't okay with them. I had asked a Black classmate to go to a dance with me.]]> 2020-06-16 22:37:55 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629665066 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629665075 My earliest memories are when I was 6 or 7 of my Dad and Grandma at the table talking about trying to integrate my Dad’s prom in Indianapolis. He is white, she was white. Their house was cherry bombed for having an integrated post party. ]]> 2020-06-16 22:37:55 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629665075 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629665143 Both me and my sibling are in relationships with people who are not white. This is recent, but I was shocked even today, that my grandparents even thought to comment on that.]]> 2020-06-16 22:38:02 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629665143 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629665376 I can remember being a young athlete and one of my teammates told me that I would never be as fast as the black kids bc black people have a longer Achilles’ tendon than white people. ]]> 2020-06-16 22:38:28 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629665376 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629665417 I remember my kindergarten teacher was a person of color. I told my mom that her skin looked like coffee ice cream. She shushed me and told me that wasn’t nice. I didn’t understand. 

]]> 2020-06-16 22:38:31 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629665417 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629665424 2020-06-16 22:38:32 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629665424 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629665486 My father worked in schools in an all black low income community. I was basically raised to “see no color”.]]> 2020-06-16 22:38:37 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629665486 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629666513 My parents telling me they would disown me when they learned I was dating a black boy my freshman year of college. Getting "looks," people driving by yelling racial slurs, classmates asking me if my boyfriend could get them drugs assuming he was into that because he was black. Once we got into a flirty fake "fight" in a grocery store parking lot. Shortly after we got in the car and soon realized we were being followed by a cop- right on us at every turn. It was scary and eye-opening. He was not so surprised. I was. So much hurt for both of us that has never gone away.]]> 2020-06-16 22:39:43 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629666513 https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629666721 my mom loved for me to have many friends, she was very loving, but she would never let my black friends spend, the night, only play dates, because "she didn't know how to help them get ready for bed or fix their hair....bc they were different than me." I was so sad because I truly wanted to have all my friends over all the time. I couldn't understand the limitations. 

]]> 2020-06-16 22:40:03 UTC https://padlet.com/rebbykern/8fyhjl3t67utzkzz/wish/629666721