Deep Culture of Structure by kyle Sorensen

In general, would your family be classified as formal or informal?

sorensenk555 — 2024-02-14 22:57:37 UTC

I would say, for the most part, my family is relatively informal. My father works at home, taking calls, talking to people on the phone and is dressed how he likes. When we go out to restaurants he is usually in a plain black tee shirt, blue jeans, and a baseball cap. He is informal in language and attitude to workers, employees and in our family dynamic. He likes to be treated the same back. He's a jokester and is very lighthearted. My mother on the other hand is an interior designer and is at clients house working for most of the day. She likes to dress up nice while representing herself and her company in a nice fashion. She is a business women and gets down to the point. Some would say a little bossy, she is a boss. Although anytime outside of working she is a fun, lightheaded mother who likes to relax and hangout. I have two brothers, one older and one younger. All three of us growing up were told to be ourselves and were held to standards of respect and work-ethic but nothing in terms of serious formalities. We were held to please's and thank you's, along with eye contact and handshakes. Also no talking back. All respective mannerisms but I wouldn't say our family appears to be "formal".

Who made the major decisions in your family? Mother? Father? Both? Other family members?

sorensenk555 — 2024-02-14 23:06:09 UTC

My mother was/is in-charge. I learned this from a very young age. As a young child I would test the limit and sometimes make my own rules. My mother would say "Who's in charge" and I would say "I'm in charge" then she would remind me that she was in charge and I would have to follow what she says. Basically, I learned this the hard way with timeouts, writing out what I did and why I shouldn't do it, etc. I think for the most part, my father is easy going, so my mother had more control of the major decisions. Especially when it came to parenting. When having a mother that's a little more particular about things, it was my dads job to maintain their good relationship and let my mom make the major decisions. Although any decision made always came with a fair amount of discussion.

How were you rewarded?

sorensenk555 — 2024-02-15 18:14:51 UTC

My parents rewarded me and my brothers with many different incentives. I think the biggest incentive my brothers and I got as a kid was money. Early in life was different. I remember when I got in trouble and when I was rewarded. I think the biggest incentive/reward early in life was love. We got punished for actions like talking back, being mean to brothers, or not having a good attitude. But were rewarded for pleases and thank yous, etc. Middle stage of life were being rewarded with money for helping around the house. Yes, it might seem like we should do this for free. The only problem was my brothers and I were getting busy and out of the house while my mom and dad were working all day. Trash cans down, laundry, dishes, dog walks, clean room and make bed, etc. Those were all of our chores and would get paid $20 if all of those were done, this lasted until 18 because my parents ran a tight shift. The older we got the harder it was for us because we always wanted to be doing something and were out of the house. Again, while we were younger it was incentives rewarded with love and when I got older it was chores for money.

Was competition or cooperation stressed?

sorensenk555 — 2024-02-15 19:00:27 UTC

I would say cooperation was heavily stressed growing up. Although, I had an older brother and a younger brother so competitiveness was a huge part of my upbringing. Cooperation in the house was held to a high standard and my mom was the one who enforced it. She felt like our competitiveness with each other was great but when it came down to cooperating and following direction she was very strict. A big thing in our house growing up was doing what you were told and having a good attitude. My mom and dad worked and were gone a lot so when we didn't cooperate she would punish us with something else to do. Competition with two brothers who were very active people was fun and made me who I am today. My mom would try and tone down our competitive side because we would get to competitive.