Random Scribblings by Onaiza Khan https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki en-us 2016-05-24 14:29:04 UTC 2018-10-23 15:55:46 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet-assets.storage.googleapis.com/portrait/notebook.jpg Silence is like a deep dark well; you don’t even realize when you’re falling into it. Slowly you keep stepping down each step until all hope is lost of coming back to the surface. Darkness is all around you, but then your vision starts adjusting to the darkness, your hearing to the silence and your heart to the loneliness.And then comes a point when you’re comfortable in there, any light becomes a nightmare and sounds are even worse. The thought of having company is agonizing. And then when you reach the end of it and you can’t go any deeper. Even then the distance between you and your old self, it keeps getting longer. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/112376852 2016-05-24 17:13:45 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/112376852 Do you think falling in love is a good thing? If it were a good thing why'd they call it falling? They'd call it something like rising in love... Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/112944350 2016-05-29 07:16:53 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/112944350 And I lie in the waters shapeless and meaningless floating with no purpose at all. But I do have a soul. A soul that has been shattered into a thousand pieces. So what if I'm holding on to just one piece? I'm still not soulless. A log of metal is more hazardous when broken down to the size of a needle. Well, so am I. This last piece of my soul has the power to make lives bleed to death... Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/112944378 2016-05-29 07:19:02 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/112944378 I don't remember the last time I was in my comfort zone  Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/112952466 2016-05-29 11:06:48 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/112952466 Is it possible puke out your memories or detox your brain or anything??  Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/113634751 2016-06-03 17:56:29 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/113634751 I am a free bird, I want to be able to choose my skies not the color and design of my cage Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/113693880 2016-06-05 07:29:54 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/113693880 You wouldn't ask who I was if you knew what I am. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/114903378 2016-06-17 10:30:50 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/114903378 I know how to live my life,  I just don't have one....  Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/116137910 2016-07-09 09:26:07 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/116137910 But the path she had chosen wasn't designed for company... Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167212659 2017-04-20 09:51:27 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167212659 Through a thread of hope and a teensy bit of magic... I promise to stay in touch. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167213431 2017-04-20 09:56:36 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167213431 When everything was going the wrong way, you happened. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167214626 2017-04-20 10:05:18 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167214626 Love is so like water. While gushing down from a fresh spring, it can quench your thirst, clear your head and cleanse your body and while resting frozen at insurmountable heights, it can pierce your skin with its sharpness knife-like and freeze the blood in your veins. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167214682 2017-04-20 10:05:45 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167214682 Don't torture yourself by pretending to be who you're not,Make peace with yourself before you go out seeking the world... Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167214716 2017-04-20 10:05:57 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167214716 Art is something where we all see a different image and we all find solutions to our own puzzles. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167214909 2017-04-20 10:07:42 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167214909 They say that our childhood determines what kind of a person we become.If we don't have any control over who we become, how can we have any control over what becomes of us? Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167214937 2017-04-20 10:07:53 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167214937 The very first steps in transforming your weaknesses into strengths are identifying and acknowledging them... Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167214964 2017-04-20 10:08:03 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167214964 He howled urgently with all his might. As the sky turned orange, his hopes started to waver and his skin began to tremble. He ran and stopped frantically searching every inch of the field. It was, after all, the first day he had let his son go out on his own. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167215060 2017-04-20 10:08:49 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167215060 He stared at the moon every night, lying under the shadow of the stars, under the rustling trees and the whooshing wind. He struggled to force his eyes shut and tried very hard to sleep. But every time sleep came, he was woken up with the sound of his own voice calling out her name. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167215177 2017-04-20 10:09:45 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167215177 I let my biggest enemy live inside me, my empathy... Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167215225 2017-04-20 10:10:00 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167215225 Flying is nothing but falling upwards Christian, far from gravity, far from love, just endless falling till every trace of humanity vanishes. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167215543 2017-04-20 10:12:13 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167215543 While looking at the sky, some people see God, some people see heaven and some see only a black carpet strewn with bright silver rocks. It's really more of what they want to see than what they unintentionally and inadvertently find. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167525870 2017-04-21 15:56:54 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167525870 Hopes have a strange way of working. They build huge castles of unrealistic beauty for you. They promise you love and fortune with no end. But the moment they come face to face with reality, they crash your soul even if a single brick from the castle goes missing. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167526792 2017-04-21 16:00:34 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167526792 "The world isn't black and white," he said. "Sure, at least not then you're driven by relentless and unjustified desire and contain poor categorizing skills," she replied. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167527383 2017-04-21 16:02:39 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167527383 I find silence and darkness soothing and empowering like a cup of black tea on an early winter morning or a blazing fire in the cold winter nights. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167527663 2017-04-21 16:03:45 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167527663 "How can call yourself godly," she asked, "You don't even go to the church.""I don't care about a god who stays imprisoned in a church. My god is everywhere," I replied. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167528066 2017-04-21 16:05:30 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167528066 Happiness and sorrow work like sugar and salt. You need the former in you tea and the latter in your curry. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167528473 2017-04-21 16:07:02 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167528473 Justice doesn't walk on two legs like you and me, it flies high in the wide expanse of the never-ending skies. Only the ones with courage and determination as their wings catch it. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167528890 2017-04-21 16:08:46 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167528890 I'd rather live in my head Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167529036 2017-04-21 16:09:18 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167529036 For once, step out of your halo. You never know, you might like what you see. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167529310 2017-04-21 16:10:16 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/167529310 Not everyone in the world can be a billionaire, but we can all be humble, compassionate and happy. This is the smartest goal we can set for ourselves. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/168832937 2017-04-28 09:40:09 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/168832937 And it often happened that the lonely were blinded by the beauty of solitude... Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/169042564 2017-04-30 07:10:49 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/169042564 There is something magical about sunrises...you walk out of darkness without moving a muscle. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/170445047 2017-05-08 08:09:14 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/170445047 Everything she had learned in her long and painful life, she was about to unlearn. The suitcase full of long lost dreams lying somewhere in the back of her heart was about to be opened. He was on his way. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/172272228 2017-05-17 08:28:28 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/172272228 Cradling her tears, nursing her wounds, fixing broken things, overcoming every obstacle in her path, and walking with her head held high she finally reached her destination. Broken, scarred, blistered and torn down. She wasn't alone, she realized and no more did she need to suffer alone in silence. But while trying to reach out for her voice, she found that she had forgotten how to ask for help. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/172980182 2017-05-21 13:49:58 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/172980182 From the beginning of time, man has had a nasty relationship with the higher power often referred to as God...Christian Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/176270170 2017-06-13 15:31:31 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/176270170 If you want to be able to write, experience pain. Don't just feel it, but live it. Not just yours but everyones. Not just momentarily but for lengths of time. Not just the pain of love and loss but of hunger and vulnerability. Everything. The pain of things that you've never experienced and you never will. Without any limit or measure. The pain of it all will make words flow through you like blood in the veins. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177185425 2017-06-22 09:18:55 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177185425 Empathy prevents you from the carefree bliss of ignorance. It must be so easy to project your sorrows and failures to the actions of others rather than seeing things for what they truly are. To incriminate the world for not fulfilling your dreams. How so easy Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177185446 2017-06-22 09:19:11 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177185446 I'd be broken into a million pieces and you wouldn't see a crack Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177185469 2017-06-22 09:19:24 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177185469 Everything in my life, good or bad has led me to you and I'm nothing but grateful Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177185529 2017-06-22 09:19:54 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177185529 When around you, I'm on a whole other emotional level, from where it takes me hours to come back to reality. Sometimes even days. But when I'm finally there I want to go back. To you... Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177185559 2017-06-22 09:20:10 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177185559 I am grateful. I am grateful to that higher power for giving me the ability to write. I am grateful for this gift of imagination, poetry, and self-expression.To be able to use my grief as fuel to keep my lamp of hope burning. Using my inner destruction to create something beautiful and lasting. The torment that endlessly gnaws on my soul. Turning it into a unicorn for others to ride. To be broken into a million pieces and still build castles of peace. To be lost and dissipated and yet guiding others to find their way. To be perpetually alone and nevertheless being a friend to hundreds of lonely souls. To feel unloved but being able to create sparks of warmth, tenderness, and passion. It is indeed the greatest gift of all. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177190552 2017-06-22 10:15:21 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177190552 I kept my heart lockedbecause I thought you'd never like what you see in hereBut you never eventried to find the key to itor just simply peerI kept my grief plasteredon my face for you to seewhich you clearly didn'tAnd I thought I'm too opaqueto see through, so I simplycut out for you a dintYou still stayed unawareand I felt like it's my faultthat I'm too strongWhen a stranger one day saidthat I looked sad, that's when I realised I was wrongI wasn't the one who was opaqueYou were the one too blind Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177309819 2017-06-23 16:26:22 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177309819 Forget reading between the lines he overlooked the apparent meaning in my plain and humble words Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177313617 2017-06-23 17:37:57 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177313617 There is so much darkness inside of you just like there is inside me that it pulls me towards you. As if our souls were two lost parts of a puzzle dying to fall in place... Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177347962 2017-06-24 17:21:32 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177347962 It was my motherwho broke my heartfor the first timein a way thatit could never be mendedIt was my motherwho gave memy eternal painbeautiful poetryand sad gloomy eyesIt wasn't a guywho broke a promiseor betrayed meI didn't have it in mefor any guy everIt wasn't young lovethat pushed metowards writingIt was in facta lonely childhoodIt was my motherwho rejected mefor the first timeand I thought thatI'm not good enoughIt was my motherwho made me feelfear, in a wayso strong that my heartcouldn't hold it inIt was never a guyNo guy could do to mewhat was already donean irrevocable damageto my innocent soul Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177354660 2017-06-24 21:52:08 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177354660 This morning as I woke up and glanced at the poster hanging on the front wall with droopy eyes, a flicker of aloofness met my gaze. The face in the poster seemed to look at me knowingly as I felt lost and listless. A voice in my head asked where have I woken up. This isn't home. I turned my eyes to the bedstand where I keep my phone every night. But this morning it came alive with intricate patterns that I failed to recognize. My phone. It's cover. Who would use such a fancy and studded phone cover, I thought. The blankets, the sheets, and pillows screamed 'bizarre' and their softness didn't transpire into anything known. They felt just as good as they would in a hotel room. My pajamas didn't smell of me. Or probably it was I who didn't approve its smell as mine.I stepped down from the bed as my feet were greeted by a faded yellow pair of slippers, the shape of my toes engraved in them. They fit perfectly and were ill-fitting at the same time. I ran my fingers on the wall admiring its rough pink surface and cognized a wall I had seen every day and never known. The tap slid under my fingers like butter as if identifying my touch and the water springing from it appeared welcoming. It was probably I that couldn't perceive what lay plainly before my eyes. The biggest shock I got when I peered into the mirror and saw a face for the first time although strikingly familiar. I was a stranger in my own house. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177519278 2017-06-27 07:08:43 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177519278 I feel more like a rock than a person. A rock to so many people that I uphold and assist every day. The way I let them lean on me and never lean on them. The way I stay in my place right where they leave and never move them. So they can come whenever they like and get comforted.But I feel like a rock also the way how a rock is big, heavy, and destructive with so much strength. I could contain so much in this huge space that I have in me if I wasn't full of this void and this lifeless weight. I could do so much with this strength if I wasn't devoid of movement.I could fly if I wasn't grounded mercilessly under my own weight. I wouldn't have been a weapon if I could wield my power myself. I could've been so much if I wasn't as insentient and still as a rock. I could've. I might be Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177527441 2017-06-27 08:31:41 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177527441 And the earth keeps rotating on its axis day after day after day without catching a headache or getting dizzy. A body that gives birth to and upholds life of all sorts remains independent of its constraints and routine struggles Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177891250 2017-07-02 15:12:46 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177891250 Sometimes, loss follows you like a shadow, quiet, weightless, dark and devious. Appearing in times when you're all alone and vulnerable and pouncing at once on your courage and stripping you of your happiness. Sometimes, it acts like a burden, a heavy rock full of vanity crushing you and pinning you down. All attempts of getting back on your feet are smashed.Sometimes, it infuses itself in your blood, runs through your veins feeding on your body, stealing the color from your cheeks and meddling with your mind.There are also times when it keeps the fire inside you burning, guiding you through unknown lands of your soul with its light, keeping you warm on those particularly cold and cruel nights. There are times when your loss gives you more than was taken from you... Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177893497 2017-07-02 16:20:28 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/177893497 People promise their love the moon and the stars. But I would rather promise to understand her unspoken words, the reasons behind her tears and the love behind her anger. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/178469885 ~Ammar

]]> 2017-07-11 11:59:27 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/178469885 A fairytale a night...keeps you healthy happy and bright Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/180252984 2017-08-07 09:35:31 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/180252984 As the dusk drew in, the green of the trees glowed with a new sheen under the darkening sky, as if its true color was somehow hidden under the gleaming sunlight. They stood straight all day disciplined by the solar vigor but now they slowly start to sway in the careless wind liesurely mocking the light reflecting back from the moon.And with darkening hues, the green blended perfectly in the blacks of the night with the moon shining in the little glory it held and the distant stars peering into the sleeping woods that breathes recklessly into the deepening night. Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/180488451 2017-08-09 14:44:24 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/180488451 The strings of his love I wore around my neck decorated me and made me beautiful. Little did I know, they would leave marks forever... Onaiza https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/247662145 2018-04-01 12:04:22 UTC https://padlet.com/Onaiza/860r8j03rkki/wish/247662145