https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389 en-us 2018-01-31 15:50:31 UTC 2018-03-02 16:00:07 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/icons/Hotsun.png 23lherb https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/227099565 After reading your persuasive editorial on adding a recreation center to Scotch Plains, I agree that we should do this! One star is that all of the claims and data you added to your editorial were really good, and truly backed up your thesis statement that you put at the beginning of your piece. Another star is the amazing word choice that you used throughout your entire persuasive editorial. You used things like, "their eyes glued to the screens of their phones," and gave great supportive data. One thing I wish you did add was maybe another claim to back up your thesis because it would have added a lot to the essay, especially if you did it the way you wrote the first two claims. Overall, you did an amazing job!!]]> 2018-02-01 15:42:06 UTC https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/227099565 23iblake https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/227106605 Hey Ali. I really enjoyed your stomping ground. Your use of strong word choice and detail added so much description to the piece. You did an amazing job of slowing down time and I could feel the intensity as though I was there with you. I also enjoyed your use of compositional risks like when you had a staring contest with the hoop. One line I love is "I placed my hand into the imaginary cookie jar..." I don't play basketball but from all of your description I could make a guess about the technique you needed to use to make the shot. Next time you may not want to talk about how time felt slow and instead show it. Overall, I loved the intensity of the piece and I would definitely read it again!]]> 2018-02-01 15:52:38 UTC https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/227106605 23amach https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/227111755 Hey Ali. I read your persuasive editorial and I really enjoyed it. I loved your topic and I 100% agree with it. I think that Scotch Plains should add a recreation center for teenagers so they have a place to spend their time and it overall has many benefits for the teenagers and the town. Furthermore, I liked how you used advanced word choice and vocabulary throughout your whole piece. I feel like it really adds to the overall effect of your essay and it really persuaded me to why a recreation center should be added. One suggestion I have is to maybe add one more compositional risk somewhere in your piece. To sum it up, I really enjoyed reading your piece and I think you did a great job.]]> 2018-02-01 16:00:18 UTC https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/227111755 Nemma https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/227112574 In your stomping ground piece I really liked all of the risks you took in your writing and it made your piece really stand out! Another thing that I really liked in your piece was how you added a lot of sensory details, and it made me feel like I was right there in the court watching you win the game. One thing that I would recommend is not to mention how it felt like time slowed down because you explained it enough with all of the details you added. This was a really great piece! Nice work!]]> 2018-02-01 16:01:42 UTC https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/227112574 23hchan https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/227113677 Hey Ali! I loved reading your suspense narrative. I was anxious the entire time, wanting to know what would happen to Johnny and then Morgan. I loved the description you included all throughout your story, it really brought your writing even more to life. I loved all of your figurative language especially the one in the beginning where you compared Johnny walking down his stairs to breathing, your writing of cockroaches also made me cringe. One thing that you could do to improve your story is provide a little more background knowledge about Morgan and your other characters. Overall I think Run Away Boy is a great writing piece.]]> 2018-02-01 16:03:24 UTC https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/227113677 23rbhatia https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/236979459 Hi Ali! Your research was really interesting, though I know that can be hard to do when you are just comparing and contrasting some articles. So that was a great feat.  I agree with Emma, in your intro, you used some advanced word choice, such as "jubilant". And in the very first sentence, that makes a good impact on readers, because it makes the essay seem sophisticated right away.  Another thing I enjoyed about your essay was your title! Some people were not exactly creative in a title. But yours made the essay seem like a mystery. That's a great quality to have to add even more interest to your incredible essay. One last thing of many things I liked was your zinger, "All in all, the Hollywood industry is place where problems are quickly hidden underneath all the red carpets. Don’t be like everyone else and ignore the problems as well." It is one of the most amazing zingers! It is like an analogy, with the red carpet bit. This really wrapped up the piece nicely. One thing I think you could look out for next time is your comma placement, because there were some unessacary bits of punctuation. Overall, however, that hardly made a dent in this piece! Great job!]]> 2018-03-01 15:49:06 UTC https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/236979459 Nemma https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/236979874 You had a lot of good word choice, and I think that you had very strong pieces of data, and your warrants are really good! You had a really nice intro and after reading it I was very hooked on the topic. I could tell that you added in a lot of detail, and it was overall a very well though out piece!]]> 2018-03-01 15:49:34 UTC https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/236979874 23msilva https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/236984487 You had amazing word choice that really helped readers visualize the situation and issue.  The sentence structure was also varied making it more exciting and fun to read.  I couldn't find anything you could do better, but I really liked you zinger because it left the reader with a motivation to try to stop the problem. Overall, amazing piece! ]]> 2018-03-01 15:55:44 UTC https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/236984487 23hchan https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/236989241 I loved your word choice in your essay, it helped me better understand and realize what an important issue this is, I also loved your closing sentence, it is very creative and makes me enjoy the piece even more. One wish I have for your piece is that you may be able to shorten your pieces of data a little more. Overall I loved your essay!]]> 2018-03-01 16:01:35 UTC https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/236989241 23iblake https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/237453571 Wow Ali! I have just finished reading your piece and it was really good! One of my favorite elements of this piece was the word choice that you used. Not only was it very high level but you managed to keep using the word choice throughout the piece which made it very exciting and impressive! I also loved your ending. It was very demanding but I think it fit the situation very well! Very creative. Also, your warrants seemed small at first glance, but they had a perfect amount of information and got right to the point comparing and contrasting which was helpful. Just check over a few grammar errors such as not underlining the movie Moana. Other than that, outstanding!]]> 2018-03-02 15:45:24 UTC https://padlet.com/23amurphy1/7yarf5f2w389/wish/237453571