You were always SO loving and saw everyone around you through a lens of kindness and understanding.

Want to take a smoke break? Want to talk shit? Want to vent after a shitty day? Want to shop? Derrick is down. He will hype you up and make you feel like the best version of yourself.

You loved so intensely and were unapologetically yourself. And you made the best steaks in the whole world. You were always down to make me dinner or give me a hug, a kiss, or a compliment when I needed it most 🤍

I will forever miss you so much, friend.

My love, I was so wrong. Dying is the opposite of leaving. When I left my body, I did not go away. That portal of light was not a portal to elsewhere, but a portal to here. I am more here than I ever was before. I am more with you than I ever could have imagined. So close you look past me when wondering where I am. It’s Ok. I know that to be human is to be farsighted. But feel me now, walking the chambers of your heart, pressing my palms to the soft walls of your living. Why did no one tell us that to die is to be reincarnated in those we love while they are still alive? Ask me the altitude of heaven, and I will answer, “How tall are you?” In my back pocket is a love note with every word you wish you’d said. At night I sit ecstatic at the loom weaving forgiveness into our worldly regrets. All day I listen to the radio of your memories. Yes, I know every secret you thought too dark to tell me, and love you more for everything you feared might make me love you less. When you cry I guide your tears toward the garden of kisses I once planted on your cheek, so you know they are all perennials. Forgive me, for not being able to weep with you. One day you will understand. One day you will know why I read the poetry of your grief to those waiting to be born, and they are all the more excited. There is nothing I want for now that we are so close I open the curtain of your eyelids with my own smile every morning. I wish you could see the beauty your spirit is right now making of your pain, your deep seated fears playing musical chairs, laughing about how real they are not. My love, I want to sing it through the rafters of your bones, Dying is the opposite of leaving. I want to echo it through the corridor of your temples, I am more with you than I ever was before. Do you understand? It was me who beckoned the stranger who caught you in her arms when you forgot not to order for two at the coffee shop. It was me who was up all night gathering sunflowers into your chest the last day you feared you would never again wake up feeling lighthearted. I know it’s hard to believe, but I promise it’s the truth. I promise one day you will say it too– I can’t believe I ever thought I could lose you.

I miss you and those laughs.

That was when I realized what a unique spirit he was; none of the shy, seattle-freeze type interactions I've gotten used to during my years here. He was always smiling, laughing, and always, always had time to talk when we crossed paths.

Having Derrick (and Jacob) as regulars at Push Pull (the coffee shop I work at) has been such a delight. Derrick would jump into a conversation on any topic, as quick with a joke as an earnest, heartfelt comment, and a warm look that would make me feel at ease and really present in the moments we shared. I always thought seeing the two of you together, 'what a sweet and handsome pair you make together.'

I'm so grateful to have shared a neighborhood, a community, and an address with Derrick. I will remember every time we met as a ray of sunshine shimmering on my day.