This line stuck out to me as someone whose relationship with dance classes is changing and adapting. When I walk into class sometimes, I just have the mindset of "this is going to be really difficult to get through." However, this quote reminded me that there is such a better way to enter class and still be able to get something out of it. I can instead walk in with the feeling that what I bring in that day is okay, and is simply going to have to be the canvas I work with that day. I have been trying to implement this mindset in class and I am already starting to see how it impacts my movement and attitude. Even if I don't feel great or my mind/body simply doesn't feel like dancing that day, I can fall on to the idea that it's okay to feel those feelings and work with what I have.

This song has some pretty satirical ways of displaying confidence. However… are they really satirical? I say this because I used to think the lyrics were of course joking about confidence, but this past semester has shown me that it’s honestly not that far off. Drag in general even, is an artform all about confidence! I’ve started to accept many parts of myself and I’ve found a brand new confidence that I have never had before. In that way, I really resonated with Magness’s writing. 

P.S. Some of the lyrics I’m referencing: 

“Who's that b*tch that's on the top? Oh, wait, that's me!”

“Killin' b*tches so hard need a pink hearse. I ain't sayin' I'm the best, but I ain't the worst”

“You see me shinin' I'm tryin' to take this primetime. I see you whinin' and cryin'; take that to Lifetime”

I feel like the "calm optimist" could remind me to breathe and tell me that my feelings are temporary and will pass eventually. On the other hand, I feel like the "proud rival" would tell me to get up, get over it, and get it done because it's just what I have to do. It's not exactly comforting, but it is what has to be heard in my opinion.

Here are some examples of the things I tell myself now which do in fact work for me!

• "dude even if you don't want to do it, at least just get through it and eat it up"

• "get over yourself it was never that serious"

• "yeah you ate that up and got through it!"

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K: Can you tell me about a time when you felt really connected to a team that made you feel like you belong?

R: I'd say orchestra. It's a yearly goal that we all do our best to try and get all 1s at UIL, and we accomplished that together.

K: You guys as a team leaned on each other and all of that?

R: Of course! We listen to each other to match pitches, we look to each other to match bow timing, and basically trying to be as unified as possible while still sounding musical.

K: How did you feel when you accomplished all of those things?

R: I felt, like ineffable.

K: Oh period, do you use that good feeling to motivate what you do?

R: Yes, yes, yes, absolutely when I'm practicing for absolutely anything whether it is for solos, ensembles, concerts, or auditions.

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I thought it was interesting to discuss this stuff with someone who hasn't read the book, he's doing such great things! I'm really glad that he's been able to find these relationships and make goals within the arts. It's really important to see how accomplishing these things as a team can motivate you to do better, even if it's stuff that doesn't include other people. He found joy and success in teamwork and he's bringing it to everything he does.