inhales by kiwi

kihoneyy — 2022-08-13 06:17:59 UTC

lmao the preview thing says ‘write something beautiful’ hahahaaaa as if 🥴
ok this is happening bc i have a lot of Very Yucky Thoughts when it comes to u and if i don’t let ‘em out, shit gets weird. im the kinda person where if i have smth going on in my head, i need to let it out somehow otherwise i will be ruminating on it for days and days and days, and eventually it will burst out of me whether i want it to or not :D and these last few weeks have been interesting, to say the least.
dunno if i’ll ever show u this, maybe i will eventually,,,,,, but this is mostly just for me to dump in when i get very overwhelmed. which happens a lot these days, let’s be real.

that big realization

kihoneyy — 2022-08-13 06:29:27 UTC

oh man that really was a wacky day hahahahh. ok so i looked back on the day that i pmed seunghee about it, and it was july 23rd wow. uhm i don’t remember exactly what happened but it was like 4am when i spammed her with messages because i just could noootttt stop thinking about it. idk i guess you and i talked a lot that day and then you had fallen asleep, but it was probably one of those days we were just being dumb and messing around. RIGHT OMG it was that week where you were feeling really bummed about not being able to go on that trip with your family and i was just trying my best to be there for you and i was really worried, which is why it probably almost slipped out a bunch of times.
anyways i just hit her up freaking out like ‘I DAMN NEAR SAID THE L WORD TO HIM SO MANY TIMES TODAY I HATE IT HEEERRREEEE‘ lmao so embarrassing,,,,, but at that point i think it had been like two weeks or so since we’d talked about it and you told me you liked me and all, and i was like ‘damn ok this is cool,,, but u cant fall any harder u idiot bc ur just gonna hurt urself yet again’ and i was just being cautiously optimistic. i was half asleep when it almost slipped out and i caught myself just in time bc haha wow that woulda been weeeiirrdddd,,,,, but i guess that’s when i realized that i really and truly was starting to fall in love with you. lol yucky.
so basically i freaked out to seunghee, and she’s all like ‘u mess of a human. do u maybe wanna just let it out in a controlled manner or smth so u don’t end up just blurting it out?’ and i was like ‘haha hell no im too much of a coward for that waht if i chase him away D:’

kihoneyy — 2022-08-13 06:40:20 UTC

ok i don’t know if you know this already, but im not really the type to get jealous too easily. i mean, maybe i’ll get playfully jealous here and there, but it’s all just jokes. i know it’s been a while since seungmin’s been around and all, and idk when it was that i realized it, but i don’t feel jealous when the two of you are hanging out? does that mean im broken? i dunno.
back before you and i talked and i’d see you two talking and hanging out, i do remember i’d get sorta upset, but i guess it was more like me being upset with myself? for not having the guts to actually come and tell you about my feelings sooner. i don’t think it was ever a resentful sort of upset, like ‘grr that should be me’ or anything.
for a while i thought me not feeling jealous about the whole situation meant that maybe i didn’t really like you as much? or like i didn’t care about any of it? which was actually what led me to just be like ‘let go of it all, let them be happy with each other’ bc how much better could i be, really? kind of a dumb way to think of it, i guess.
but yea, i asked seungie what she thought of it and she’s like ‘damn dude u seem like the kinda guy who’d do great in a poly’ and i lost my shit MFNDJ it’s not that i never would, i’ve just never tried it and the thought of it in the moment was really funny.

bro,,,,

kihoneyy — 2022-08-13 06:48:55 UTC

i love you. like, i am in love with you. i am so deeply head over heels in love right now, it’s actually disgusting. damn, it feels good to actually say it haha. even tho u not gonna see this anytime soon, but just getting it out there is nice.
i know i say it casually a lot, but it’s always been in a more like ‘i love u all in general as my close friends’ sort of way, yknow? which is why i haven’t rly said it recently, i dunno if you’ve noticed. soooo many times,,,, so many times i almost slipped up lmao. so gross fr.
yknow, i’ve never really had any problems with being cheesy or saying cute stuff to people until you,,,,, idk, our whole dynamic just got me all fucked up (not in a bad way!!) and now it’s just so weird to be saying lame lovey dovey stuff to you even tho everything in me wants to be saying that shit lmfaoooo. doesnt really help that i’ve fallen for you so much harder than i have for anyone else,,,, like, ever. wow.
uhm. anyways. yes.

kihoneyy — 2022-08-13 06:56:34 UTC

DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IVE HAD FEELINGS FOR YOU?? HOW FUCKIN LONG???? it’s actually kinda embarrassing lmao.
ok listen im the kinda guy to develop a crush on someone really easily, and in most cases it’s just as easy for me to get over it so i never give it too much thought. and at first i figured ‘eh it’s probably just one of those lame crushes, it’ll pass’. and it’s not like i could do anything about it anyways bc at the time you had a whole thing going with (old) beomgyu. but then he left at some point, and i was like ‘oh’. still didn’t really do anything about it tho, but yeeaaaa.
and then the whole matchmaking thing started, and i remember we were all joking around about how it would go when you and i were paired up, like 'oh they're gonna murder each other haha'. then seeing the first round of matches go up, and it wasn’t me and you? my heart kinda dropped outta my ass for a moment, and then i was like ‘wait wtf why am i sad about that??? there’s like four more rounds bc it’s a whole speed dating thing u idiot’ and then that’s when i realized,,,,, oh shit. this is more than just a crush now, isn’t it?? have i caught 🤢feelings🤢 for this man now????? JFJDJD

kihoneyy — 2022-08-14 02:14:33 UTC

just woke up from a nap and i had a dream that seungmo came back from hiatus and you just straight up ignored me after that. hate that for me lol now im feeling anxious and hella sad and i KNOW that it was just a dumb dream but,,,,, even the thought of it is enough to depress the fuck outta me :< im literally gonna kill you if you ever decide to just ignore me out of nowhere, without letting me know why or what’s wrong or anything.

kihoneyy — 2022-08-16 02:08:56 UTC

last night you said you were feeling sad and i saw it i think right before you deleted it?
i didn't really wanna assume anything, but i guess my first thought was 'did he notice that seungmin and alts are gone?' idk idk im just an overthinker so i think when i saw it and then i saw that you deleted it later sorta made me think that it might be related?? and then i kinda started spiraling and i thought 'maybe he doesnt really wanna come to me or talk abt it bc he thinks it would be weird?' but then- i dont even know, this might all just be me jumping to conclusions and overthinking everything. im probably not even right.
but i guess the point im trying to make is,,,,, i really truly mean it when i say that you can come to me about anything and everything. especially if its just to rant or clear your mind or anything. if its about seungmin, then thats also alright. you sorta did lose someone important to you and thats enough to make anyone sad fr. i dont want you to feel the need to hide it for my sake or anything. i only want the best for you, and i wanna be there for you no matter what.
please come to me whenever you need any support or company or anything? i love you so much and i really hate seeing you hurt :<

kihoneyy — 2022-08-16 03:08:28 UTC

SORRY HI OK IM KINDA A BULLY BUT THEN YOU SAID I LOVE YOU AND IDK IF U TRULY MEANT IT LIKE THAT OR NOT BUT LIKE IM TOTALLY LOSING MY MIND RN AND IM PROBABLY ACTING ALL COOL AND WHATEVER BUT NO AHAHAHHH ALL I DID WAS PULL THIS UP JUST TO KINDA CRY TO MYSELF UGH YOURE SO PRECIOUS IM SORRY IM SUCH A TEASE ITS JUST KEEPING ME FROM BEING A COMPLETELY DISGUSTING MESS RN I JUST LOVE YOU SO FUCKIN MUCH UGGHHHHH WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEEE

kihoneyy — 2022-08-16 08:40:03 UTC

THAT FUCKIN TWEET YOU JUST SENT??? CUTEST SHIT EVER. IM LITERALLY GONNA CRY BC OF YOU AGAIN.

kang FOUL taehyun ✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️ 1 minute ago Reply

https://twitter.com/tyunnyangiez/status/1559292989880635392?s=21&;t=avFePzqukLocRnxOXlkiCw

kihoneyy — 2022-08-16 08:47:04 UTC

haha i let it slip oh no im dumb now i have to shOW YOU THIS??? HELP I CANT DO THAT AHAHKKDLGJF THATS SO EMBARRASSING

kihoneyy — 2022-08-16 08:51:31 UTC

so you just said i was your favorite human and that made me feel like all my insides got a very tight warm hug and its really a very yucky feeling that i sorta love,,,,,,, hate how u do this to me

kihoneyy — 2022-08-16 15:52:00 UTC

kihoneyy — 2022-08-16 16:10:59 UTC

love the reactions i get out of you whenever i call you a good boy. maybe bc it finally makes you speechless KFNDJ

kihoneyy — 2022-08-16 16:37:59 UTC

i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you uGH GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

kihoneyy — 2022-08-16 20:07:02 UTC

THAT SONG
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I WANT TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE

SAME

i really don’t know what to do with all of these feelings anymore.

kihoneyy — 2022-08-16 20:07:55 UTC

kihoneyy — 2022-08-17 06:24:01 UTC

disgustingly soft terry is one of my favoritest things ever and it finally came around and im just in heaven rn i love this so much i love when he comes out to play < 3
the only reason why im ok with how little he appears is bc i also become a disgusting mushy mess and we'd probably hate that even more khdgjf

kihoneyy — 2022-08-17 07:41:17 UTC

kihoneyy — 2022-08-17 09:16:17 UTC

love how u said u were gonna get answers outta me about the padlet and then completely forgot about it. its been a few days now, so lets see how long i can dodge it for :D

kihoneyy — 2022-08-17 23:46:39 UTC

i don’t know if i can really put into words just how,,,,,

kihoneyy — 2022-08-18 06:25:08 UTC

so i think i just got two consecutive days of soft affectionate terry and im just,,,, god, how are you getting me to fall harder and harder in love with you with each day that passes?
i know we’re always all like ‘gross this, yuck that’ but you being so sweet and affectionate honestly gets me all flustered and shy, and my immediate reaction is just to yell that iTS DISGUSTING BC WHYYYY ARE THESE FEELINGS SO YUCKY AND STRONG EUUGGHH. haha anyways, yea im not really one to get flustered or overwhelmed easily, but you just seem to know how to do it so well sometimes. even when you are just being a bully or whatever lmao

kihoneyy — 2022-08-18 06:34:07 UTC

LMAOOOO I JUST FIGURED OUT WHAT THIS PADLET HAS THE SAME VIBES AS

A TEENAGE GIRL COMING HOME AFTER SCHOOL, IMMEDIATELY LOCKING HERSELF IN HER ROOM AND PULLING HER DIARY OUT FROM UNDER HER BED. LAYING ON HER TUMMY WITH HER LEGS SWINGING BACK AND FORTH, CUTE LIL LOVE SONGS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND AS SHE GUSHES IN HER DIARY ABOUT HOW HER CRUSH TALKED TO HER THAT DAY AND COMPLIMENTED HER HAIR OR SMTH

it’s me. i’m that teenage girl. welcome to my diary. opening sequence is playing, of course.

kihoneyy — 2022-08-18 06:45:47 UTC

i literally just wanna sit and talk with you forever. talking to you is truly one of my most favorite things ever, and i don’t think i will ever get tired of it. you might, bc sometimes i be talking way too much. in which case, you’ll need to tell me to shut up and i will do so immediately ahaha.
maybe that’s why i made this whole thing to begin with. i just really have a lot of thoughts going on all the time, and it’s impossible for me to get them organized. so dumping it all out here where i can sorta make sense of it is great. and like, i just wanna tell you about everything. and i want you to tell me about everything. and a lot of the times i cant really find the words im looking for in the moment, so this really helps with that.

kihoneyy — 2022-08-18 22:33:22 UTC

last night was a very weird nights filled with lots of thoughts. dunno if i remember most of them but uuhhhh we’ll see i guess.

so it turns out i don’t actually remember any of it, two days later. surprise surprise.
it was probably just me overthinking things, as always.
then again, what is this padlet if not me overthinking everything lmao

kihoneyy — 2022-08-19 23:43:35 UTC

dear diary, i be missin him a lot these days, it’s so wack. hopefully work isn’t being too bad bc im the only one allowed to be too bad around him AHAHAKFKFJ i mean haha jk im such a good boy 🤪
love how i’m always saying that but a lot of the thoughts running through my head when ur around are very not good boy thoughts,,,, 😳 but yknow what, that’s just between me myself and i for the time being :>

kihoneyy — 2022-08-19 23:53:35 UTC

lmaooo so i opened this padlet in a new tab, to see what it looked like when im not logged into my account. and i realized that anyone can write in it and add to it and comment on posts, so that’s fun.
damn so when i actually give this to you, you could totally be up in here just commenting on everything and adding in your own lil posts. haha our very own gross thoughts dump. why is that actually so cute omg haha don’t do that [read: yes do it do it do it]
it can even be color coded and everything omggggg

kihoneyy — 2022-08-20 04:30:25 UTC

wow i truly hate it here

kihoneyy — 2022-08-20 04:35:59 UTC

love a man that can just knock me out cold 🤩🤩

kihoneyy — 2022-08-20 06:34:02 UTC

haha anyways, daily announcement that i love yoouuuuu and you mean the world to me ♡

kihoneyy — 2022-08-20 17:57:57 UTC

SICK WITH LOVE
WOW UR SO GROSS
and kinda right

kihoneyy — 2022-08-20 19:23:56 UTC

uhhh ok i think it might have been a bad idea for me to put that boxing gif of you here bc now every time i open this to write in it, i just see that and i get all ‘no thoughts head empty’ 😪
lmaoo like i deadass forgot what i came here to write rn

kihoneyy — 2022-08-20 19:26:22 UTC

OH YEA I RMRMEBER NOW
you asked about the padlet again earlier and i was like ‘damn so he remembers’ KFJDJ it’s been like a week tho so i think not too bad lmao. i do have bad timing tho and i ended up having to go back to work so i managed to escape the questioning yet again >:) let’s see how long i can keep it up lmao

kihoneyy — 2022-08-21 19:52:55 UTC

yknow, whenever i do give this to you, i hope it doesn’t make me go all !!!!! and freak out about continuing to write in it bc i think it’s actually pretty helpful. and it’s not like i made it with the intention of just keeping to myself. i was always gonna share this with you. i dunno, i guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

ahem

kihoneyy — 2022-08-21 20:30:12 UTC

you once said you wished you could see yourself the way we see you. well, here i am to tell you exactly how we see you. or at least how i see you lol
u is nice
u is cute
u is smart
u is amazing
u is the bestest boy ever

LMAOOO JK OK im actually gonna get real with this part once i’m actually in bed because most of this padlet has been written when im half asleep and my walls are down and im feeling all mushy and lovey dovey. and if i tried right now i’d probably just be clowning u and ur big ass eyes AHAHKFJDJ

kihoneyy — 2022-08-21 20:56:04 UTC

sidenote
saw kai on the bed in the background of your dp, and tell me why my first thought was ‘ugh wtf that should be me on ur bed’ AHAHAHAHAHH i hate that

kihoneyy — 2022-08-22 05:43:10 UTC

feel like this is literally how today went down khgjhk ᶦ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ʸᵒᵒᵒᵒᵘᵘᵘᵘᵘ i hope i was able to help even a little bit 🥰

kihoneyy — 2022-08-22 22:26:38 UTC

YOURE SO BEAUTIFUL UGGHHHH IM SO IN LOVE

kihoneyy — 2022-08-23 20:19:23 UTC

dang it’s been two whole days since i been here. wow i still need to finish that one part up there

kihoneyy — 2022-08-23 20:20:35 UTC

thank you for being in my life. and thank you for letting me be a part of yours. it is a pleasure and an honor.

kihoneyy — 2022-08-24 03:15:56 UTC

BROOOO LMAO OK YA SO I FINALLY SHOWED THIS TO YOU,,,,,,, haha hi welcome i can see ur still commenting on them and i haven’t been able to fully read them all yet since i’m still around people but guess what??? soon it’ll be my time to cry lmao i cant wait
anyways yes hi 🗣🗣🗣 I LOVE YOOUUUUU

yyyeolmae — 2022-08-24 03:54:52 UTC

ANYWAYYYY,, i think i got to every post.
let me go cry myself to sleep now because of how happy i am, jhdkjf. no, but really- i care so deeply for you, and i'm fucking ELATED that my feelings are returned. it's like a dream come true, a dream i never want to wake up from.
xoxo, kang terry.
p.s. i love you ♡
p.p.s wowow look how cute i am?? i'm such a catch, i know 😌

kihoneyy — 2022-08-24 17:11:09 UTC

so i woke up a little while ago and i’ve been reading through all your comments and i. i have no words. am literally crying rn. stooppp i hate how you do this to me i hate how strong these feelings are and i’m just,,,,, im so overwhelmed. in the best way possible. i’ll be back to reply to your comments when i can properly put words together again

kihoneyy — 2022-08-25 05:40:04 UTC

you're my something good 🥰

kihoneyy — 2022-08-25 07:45:11 UTC

every single fuckin time in the chat khgjdf

kihoneyy — 2022-08-25 08:31:15 UTC

im falling asleep again help khgd its like 3am
havent finished replying to everyhting. also dont ask why i started from the middle up, i dont know why i did that either. i love you i hope ur sleeping well and i miss u lots mwah mwah ur ugly xoxo

it took so long to scroll to the bottom omg. why are we like this.

kihoneyy — 2022-08-25 08:39:01 UTC

yyyeolmae — 2022-08-29 17:45:10 UTC

UGH SO
i dunno why i was up so late saturday night after we watched stuff?? i just felt so happy and emotional and couldn't stop tossing and turning while thinking about everything aaa. my brain would NOT shut off fr and it was aNNOYING BC I CANT BE A SIMP?? [ i am ] i was laying there like "ugh wow i rly wanna be held by that dumbass and his freakishly big hands" and on the other hand i wanted to hold u too?? IM TELLING U THIS WAS SO UGLY OF ME !!!! I EVEN FUCKIN THOUGHT ABOUT FEELING UR HAIR AGAINST MY CHEEK AND LISTENING TO U BREATHE WHILE U SLEPT AND I JUST???? H8 IT HERE,,,, so yes disgusting clingy soff af terry is making himself known loud n proud rn and idk how to get rid of him??? ANYWAY THAT WASNT EVEN ALL THAT HAPPENED,, IT'S JUST ALL I CAN REMEMBER/DESCRIBE AAAA

yyyeolmae — 2022-08-30 04:23:18 UTC

boyfriends. 🥰🥰🥰 i love you.

my dude

kihoneyy — 2022-09-03 23:13:17 UTC

i’ve been at work for,,,, idek anymore, a long ass time now. and i literally cannot stop thinking about you??? it’s making it SO HARD FOR ME TO FOCUS ON ANYTHING WTFFFF this is really getting out of hand 😖 i just really miss you and i cant wait until i see you again and just hold you tight in my arms and nEVER LET YOU GOOOOO

kihoneyy — 2022-09-06 04:20:19 UTC

i wanted to find a few cute things to try to cheer you up but i ended up finding so many of them just now but i also got insanely tired at the exact same time,,,,,, so i will leave this here. and send you all the rest tomroow maybe. i love you so so much baby, and i'll always be here to remind you that you mean the world to me ♡

kihoneyy — 2022-09-06 04:21:06 UTC

haha me two posts ago KHFGHGH

kihoneyy — 2022-09-06 04:32:28 UTC

kihoneyy — 2022-09-07 01:31:59 UTC

the FEELING i get all in my insides whenever you call me love is just,,,,, my favoritest thing ever. the way i get butterflies all in my tummy that almost borders on nausea, and my heart thumps extra loud for extra long, and my head gets all foggy and i can barely think straight for a while and it’s— i just become an entire mess. so embarrassing 😔

I LOVE LOVE LOVE OUR LIL MOVIE DATES WHERE WE NEVER ACTUALLY WATCH MOVIES BC WE END UP WATCHING LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE KFJDJD I LOVE YOU WOW THEY MAKE ME SOOOO VERY BEYOND HAPPY 💛💛💛

kihoneyy — 2022-09-07 02:57:08 UTC

kihoneyy — 2022-09-07 05:43:32 UTC

hi ok so we're watching spongebob rn and i'm just so happy?? i love having shared all my favorite songs with my favorite person and i'm so glad that you liked them. i've never actually shared them with someone like this before and it really really made my entire week. music really means so much to me, they're my comfort group and it makes me so beyond happy sharing them with my beloved. i love you so very much ♡ thank you for being here for me.

kihoneyy — 2022-09-07 05:48:14 UTC

i hope i can make you feel even half as happy as you've made me these last few months 💛

kihoneyy — 2022-09-08 22:53:03 UTC

haha not me starting a playlist of all the songs we’ve shared/listened to together,,,,,,,

yyyeolmae — 2022-09-15 00:00:54 UTC

UGHGHGHGH H8 IT HERE??? i'm literally just sitting on my bed thinking about you and i'm cRYING BC I LOVE YOU SO MUCH??? WHAT IS THIS DAMN SIMP BEHAVIOR !!! man, the old terry would be LAUGHING at me right now and i bet you'll laugh too once you see this but AAAAA,,, my feelings hit me like this sometimes and today is hitting me hard bro and then twitter riled me up even more bc reading those posts are driving me insane and- WHO JUST SITS HERE AND CRIES BC THEY'RE SO HAPPY???? ME IG???

GDI I LOVE YOU SO MUCH JUNG WOOKJIN UGHHHHHHH,,,,,,

kihoneyy — 2022-09-15 16:53:10 UTC

i hate this ugly app sometimes ugh im just tryna reply to ur post but it WONT LET MEEEEE so i’m just gonna do it here.
lmao i guess we’re both just crybabies these days bc that was literally me last night. i just could nooottttt fall asleep even though i was so exhausted. i couldn’t stop thinking about you 🥺 and how much i love you and how happy i am that you’re in my life and how i never want you to leave me ever.
the anxiety i was feeling probably made things worse bc at some point i was just so sad and overwhelmed by all the feelings. i know we keep reassuring each other that we’re not gonna abandon each other, and i one million percent mean it, but my mind was racing a million miles a minute thinking about all the ways things could go wrong, and it got pretty dramatic at some point lmao i hate myself sometimes.
i dunno, i guess i was just feeling really insecure about things. i’m so used to people saying ‘wow ur so sweet ur so awesome we’re always gonna be friends’ or whatever and then,,,, poof. gone. and i know life happens, and im not blaming them in any way. but at some point it’s always me hitting them up and trying to stay in contact and there’s no effort from the other party until im just ghosted and,,,,, it sucks. it really sucks. and now im crying again bc i really don’t want that to happen with us bc i just care about you so so much and it’s kinda pathetic. there’s not many people that can make me feel this happy just talking to, but you’re one of them and i dont wanna lose that. i don’t wanna lose you.
i love you, taehyun. and i’ll never get tired of saying that.

kihoneyy — 2022-09-15 17:25:46 UTC

OMG OK SO ABOUT THESE DREAMS I HAD LAST NIGHT. THAT WERE ALL ABOUT YOU [hey alexa play ateez’s all about you] [[listen to it rfn pls]] [[[i love you]]]
i have no idea why they kept waking me up but there were so many!! and they were all so fuckin cute so i kept waking up with my heart all soff and squeezy and it was super lame haha 🫣
but anyways ugh they were so cute n domestic?? like we’d sleep in and wake up late in the morning and just be in bed all tangled up in each other, having sleepy hushed conversations talking about everything and nothing 🥹 and then we’d get up to eat and we’re eating cereal and feeding each other and we’re just hanging out the entire day watching movies together except not really bc we’re way too focused on each other, and lil dance parties and pulling pranks on each other and urrvgrhgrhhrgfhfhhfjh im so soft again this is literally a disaster i miss you so much right now i hate work for taking you away from me T—T my heart hurts so much rn ha ha ahahah haha
THIS IS LITERALLY SO DISGUSTING UGGHHHH NOW UR GONNA BE THE ONE LAUGHING AT ME KFJDJD also i did not laugh at u crying last night,,,, i just cried too. if i was less emotional maybe i woulda laughed 🫵

kihoneyy — 2022-10-06 23:47:25 UTC

hate how this has just been me this past week,,,,,,, like highkey 😖😖😖

kihoneyy — 2022-12-26 17:59:12 UTC

ok so it’s the middle of the night rn (11:46am) and im so exhausted and half asleep, but idk i randomly remembered the ‘touchie’ video and i got so insanely soft and so insanely sad. i just miss you so much, even tho it’s only been like three or four days since we were able to hang out properly bc of christmas and work and all, but like,,,,,,, that’s too goddamn long for me.
i know it’s probably getting real repetitive lmao but im just,,,,, so happy. YOU make me so beyond happy. like, at the randomest times i’ll think back to the summer and how truly miserable i was, even if i never rly showed it, and it’s…pretty damn depressing hfjdj
and the ring you gave me for my birthday just had me thinking all the more about it. something about those three little words had me absolutely bawling. i guess probably bc those were the words i always dreamed of hearing from you back then, and thinking it was next to impossible bc of my stupidity and lack of communication and the way i was r
ok lemme finish this later bc i actually fell asleep with my thumb on the screen and a bunch of random stuff kept popping up lmaoo

kihoneyy — 2022-12-27 01:17:02 UTC

damn i really was such an emotional mess this morning after work ahahahh i just missed you so bad. and knowing that you were having a rough time and feeling so anxious about work and everything really just had me wanting to roll you up in a blanket and hold you tight, keeping you all snug and cozy in my arms until all the stress and anxiety washed away :< i guess im just gonna have to wait until you get back to do that ♡

kihoneyy — 2022-12-27 01:29:57 UTC

it’s rly been so long since i’ve written in here and idk, being all tired and overthinking actually reminded me abt it and i was like ‘damn ok let’s get back to the padlet bc that’s rly gonna be helpful rn’
and it apparently was, since i fell asleep in the middle of typing gdjfj. it’s kinda like when im supposed to be sleeping but i’m feeling too wired or anxious to fall asleep, and then i get the chance to see you and speak to you for even a little bit? it’s like everything melts away and i actually start feeling so sleepy,,,, even tho that’s when i rly dont wanna go to sleep bc i don’t wanna leave yoouuuu ;;;;; a lot of the times i just play it off and am all ‘haha im not tired yet’ or whatever, but nine times outta ten im so exhausted but i just cant fall asleep, so instead i come to hang out with you if you’re around until i calm down enough to be able to knock out heh

same thing happens when im at work and i get to see you for those few mins after you get up in the morning,,,, usually those last two or three hours are the worst bc everything drags and ppl get annoying, but seeing you always gives me that second wind i need to finish up for the day and not have a full on meltdown ahahahh. idk this is all rly gross and simpy of me but i wouldn’t want it any other way :> you really are my comfort, my safe space, my sunshine, my home, and i love you more than you’ll ever know 💛

kihoneyy — 2022-12-27 01:39:19 UTC

the way i told myself i’d go back to finish that earlier post but i just ended up making more instead,,,,, this place rly is just a stream of all my thoughts as they come on fr. i probably will continue it at some point, but i don’t think i’m gonna go back to edit it or anything. i don’t think i’ve edited any of these after posting them, actually (except for typos and stuff)
look at u getting an unfiltered peek into my disgusting terry-obsessed mind 🫵
im probably just gonna add more posts as i remember things again,,,, at least until i fall asleep kdjdj

kihoneyy — 2022-12-27 01:54:01 UTC

nothing, literally NOTHING makes me happier than seeing you all happy and giddy and feeling good 🥹🥹🥹 i love you and i love hearing that people appreciate all that you do for them and i just,,,,, i want you to be happy always. always ♡ im so proud of you baby

kihoneyy — 2022-12-28 18:37:08 UTC

man i was only feeling teary eyed at first, but then i got here and i started thinking more and now im just outright bawling :< idk the honeymoon stuff got me so damn emotional for some reason and i feel like a total idiot for crying like this ahahahhh >< i never thought i’d get this lucky, to find someone who gets me so completely and is just,,,, my other half.
yknow, i’ve never really believed in the whole soulmates stuff before. like yea, maybe you’d find someone who you like and enjoy their presence, and you’d be content spending as much time with them as you’d both like. but i never knew it could be this…deep. idk i feel like i’m not fully making sense with any of this. but it’s like,,, i feel incomplete without you there by my side. like a piece of me is missing, and i can’t properly breathe until you’re around. your happiness is my happiness, and your burdens are mine as well to carry with you and lighten your load :< ive never felt this way about anyone before, and i never thought i could ever love someone this deeply and completely, with every fiber of my being,,,, thank you for proving me wrong 🥹 my soulmate…my everything 💛

kihoneyy — 2022-12-28 18:41:15 UTC

haha wow ok that got really gross,,,, i meant every single word though. and i one million percent meant it when i said i would marry you. not that i ever rly said it jokingly before either ahahhh. ugh god there’s literally nothing in this world that i want more than that,,, and i’ve never been big on marriage, so this is huge 🫵 anyways ahahhahhaha hahah ahdhdjsjh im gonna put a ring on that real soon 😌

kihoneyy — 2023-01-09 09:37:17 UTC

sits here

kihoneyy — 2023-01-20 04:22:23 UTC

idk why im so frickin sad these days, it’s so wack. and like- nothing even happened to trigger it. but seeing you and getting to talk with you,,,, it always helps so much. i don’t even know why, or how,,,, but you really are my emotional support person 🥹

and i know sometimes you find it hard to believe that i like being with you whenever you’re feeling upset or feeling like you’re not fun to be around. i really enjoy being around you no matter what kind of mood you’re in. if you’re feeling icky, i wanna be here for you and help you through it, whether it’s talking it through, or listening to music, or just hanging out and being silly or whatever. you deserve to have someone be there for you no matter what, and if anyone ever made you feel like you don’t deserve it then they’re really shitty. you deserve everything good, baby.
i think i was gonna go somewhere with this but i got pulled into something and now i forgot,,,, hopefully it’ll come back to me soon tho :<

dear diary ,,,,,

kihoneyy — 2023-02-20 07:06:52 UTC

it has been just over seven hours since he proposed, and every second since then i have been violently switching between smiling like an idiot and full on sobbing- like 'nasty snotty red face puffy eyes body heaving' kinda sobbing haha,,,,, i guess i'll actually be crying myself to sleep tonight :>

okay

kihoneyy — 2023-02-20 07:43:09 UTC

wow ok i cant believe i was actually completely accurate earlier when i said i'd be up in here at 2am crying bc i cant sleep and all the words will come to me at that moment,,,,, here we are :D imma need a minute to gather all the thoughts. please hold 🥰

kihoneyy — 2023-02-20 19:37:10 UTC

i really didn’t think this would happen so soon??? i mean, i know we’re always bringing it up in conversation but i guess a part of me was like ‘yea maybe a few months down the road or whatever’. and now im so curious as to how long you were actually meaning to ask me 🥺
but at the same time, i also don’t think it was too soon. at all. and like you said, whether you had asked right after we started dating, or we waited years for it, i would’ve said yes no matter what. i knew from that first moment that you were the one i wanted to spend my entire life with. even though marriage was the farthest thing from my mind back then, i just always knew that i wanted to have you around. you are literally the best person i’ve ever met, and i will never ever regret marrying you, no matter what. you are my rock, my best friend, the light of my life, the sweetest man i have ever had the pleasure of meeting… i love you more than i can ever put into words, kang taehyun. and i hope i can continue to be all of that and more for you. for the rest of our lives ♡

kihoneyy — 2023-02-20 19:43:32 UTC

the way i woke up all smiley and giggly when i remembered was soooo lame omg 🤭🤭

ok i still can’t get over how you told me not to laugh- like babe, why would i have laughed? 🥺 honestly, it was more like me standing there slack jawed, catching flies JFNDJ and then just bursting into tears and crying for the rest of the night ahahah. ugh you’re literally the cutest thing ever 😩 and then thinking back on it, and the way you asked if i would be free later on in the day,,,, and the image of you just sitting there waiting for me to get back from all the errands i had to do ugh my goD ITS MAKING ME SO SOFT THESE BUTTERFLIES ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY 🥹🥹🥹 im literally so head over heels in love with you and it just seems to be getting stronger and stronger as the months go by

kihoneyy — 2023-02-20 19:58:34 UTC

i remember seeing this thing a while ago that was like ‘true love is knowing that the whole butterflies in ur tummy feeling is gone after a while, but you just switch it out for being completely comfortable and at home with the person. and instead of them getting you all riled up and nervous, they calm you down and feel like home’ or something along those lines idk.
and i was thinking the other day like damn this is so true,,,, except i still also have the fluttery first date feels that kick in at the randomest moments and i get so shy and flustered jdhdh. like, we could be hanging out or whatever and i’ll just randomly remember that first time you kissed me and i got so excited and jittery and i couldn’t even speak properly-
and then i feel that same way all over again and i feel like i’m goNNA EXPLODE IF YOU EVEN LOOK AT ME OR TOUCH ME AND IM LIKE DAMN WHATS GOING ON RN JFJDJ
anyways. uhhh. i’m a simp. wbk. i love you so much. 😘😘

kihoneyy — 2023-03-18 15:23:14 UTC

A MONTH LATER AND I STILL CANT BELIEVE WERE GETTING MARRIIIEEEDDDD

ahah

kihoneyy — 2023-05-11 12:14:55 UTC

if you had told me a year ago that i would be getting married to this weirdo (that i may have already kinda had a crush on) that kept calling me seven, i woulda been like ‘man stop lying he probably doesn’t even know i exist’

ok ok maybe i shouldn’t start this off by calling you a weirdo,,,, but like, you’re MY weirdo. and i’m weirdo-er, so it cancels out like pemdas :)

anyways. hi. wow i can’t believe we’re finally here. you look so handsome :’)

y’know, when i finally told you i that i had a thing for you and you didn’t turn me away immediately, i remember thinking to myself ‘HE DIDNT SAY NO!!! RING THE WEDDING BELLS IM GONNA MARRY THIS MAN ONE DAY’… and then just laughing to myself like shut up wook ur delusional. i mean, at the time it did feel pretty damn delusional,,,, but here we are hehe

sometimes my mind gets a little too dramatic and i’m just sitting there waiting for the other shoe to drop, like ‘he’s gonna get sick of me and all my bullshit and just leave’. which is something that has happened to me before… but there’s this saying- ‘if you focus on what you’ve left behind, you’ll never be able to see what lies ahead’ and like,,, so true. because what lay ahead for me was so damn beautiful, inside and out (like, literally the prettiest man i’ve ever laid eyes on @____@)

and as the months passed by i’ve started to realize,,, there is no other shoe. this is it for me. this is what some people spend their lives looking for, and i have it all here in a perfect terry-shaped package :D i never thought i would find someone who is quite literally my other half,,, my better half < 3 we get each other in ways i never knew was possible. sometimes it feels like weird mind-reading or something, with the way we can sense each other’s moods, or say things at the same time, or anticipate how we’d react to stuff we send each other. i can never ever get tired of talking with you and spending time with you, no matter what it’s about. everything is just.. so easy with you. all the good times, as well as the not so good times.

but hey, that’s what marriage is. being there for each other through thick and thin, and lifting each other up when one of us is down- even when it’s hard and feels damn near impossible. love takes work and dedication and commitment, and i promise that i’ll be here every single day putting in the work. because despite all that, loving you is the easiest thing i’ve ever done. /you/ make it easy. you are so sweet and charming and so full of love. you have the most beautiful soul out of anyone i’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing, and i am honored to be the one that you wanna marry 🥹 i cannot wait to spend the rest of our lives together, being with you and loving you and annoying the absolute heck outta you ♡ i love you so much, taehyun. forever and ever.

kihoneyy — 2023-05-22 07:46:43 UTC

it has been a little over a week since we got married 🫠 and i keep seeing jung wookjin everywhere and my mind is like ‘wtf no thats wrong whO IS THAT’
it’s actually insane just how,,, natural kang wookjin looks. like all my life has been leading up to this point. haha sorry dad im not a jung anymore 🤪
mister kang 🥰🥰🥰 i love it so much. i love YOU so much. and i cant wait to spend the rest of forever with you, my beloved ♡

kihoneyy — 2023-05-22 08:21:00 UTC

bro this is so weird how tf is the terry effect in full swing rn,,,, you’re noT EVEN HERE AND THESE ARE POSTS FROM MONTHS AGO WTFFFF
god i’m so tired but i need to stay AWAAAKE i still have like four hrs left of work 😪

hehe dude ur so hot 😳🥵

kihoneyy — 2024-02-18 23:48:09 UTC

dear diary 🤭

kihoneyy — 2024-06-29 15:41:46 UTC

it’s now been 417 days since we got married hehe isn’t that such a big number 😍

i never thought i’d be able to love you more than i did on that day, but boy was i wrong. literally EVERY single day i find something new about you that makes me fall even harder in love. who even knew that was possible. noT ME THATS FOR SURE 🤣

you’re just so perfect. the best thing i could’ve ever asked for 🥹 and i can’t wait for part two of our double date night hehehehh so excitingggg

eepy middle of the night thoughts

kihoneyy — 2024-07-04 06:49:11 UTC

realizing now that none of the colors i make the different posts even matter anymore ahah

anyway. i can’t sleep bc of these fireworks, and even tho most of me is honestly kinda scared (don’t ask why), it’s also hitting me that it’s independence day aka the fourth of july akaka the day that i finally confessed to you two years ago 🫢 i know this bc i have screen shots of our convos bc yes, ive been that obsessed with u for this long so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

babe i’m reading back on these convos n im trying tso hard not to cry bc ,,.,,,,, man that yearning was insaaannneeeee but also i really just wanted u to be happy :(((((( but also like siR I DONT WANT U TO BE HAPPY WITHOUT MEEEEEE n i finally had enough breakdowns to come n spill the beans n be pathetic

but yknow what,,,,, it ended up being the absolute best decision of my life. bc i don’t know where id be without you. i don’t know what my LIFE would be without you in it

and i’m just so happy

remember that story about bad boy wookjin i was telling u about,,,,, ya that was all based off true story(s) unfortunately AHAHAHDJSH but literally i remember having at least two ppl in my pms at that time tryna be like omg heeyyyy what’s up 😉😉😉😉 and i’m just there like yea ok but like ur name is not kang taehyun so pls go away n then they got salty n ended up leaving JFKHG. its like something in me was telling me that,,,, my real love is still waiting for me. my true soulmate is still out there, so im not gonna settle

itms so crazy just how close we’ve gotten in two short years 🥹

ur the ONLY person in my life that i’ve talked to every single day for over two years and im just,,,,,, 🥹🥹🥹🥹 i love you

the more i add the sleepeir i get man its like the terry effect but like,,,, a placebo

like i know im not getting the terry fr but just tricking my mind that im getting the terry is enough to have all the happy eepy vibes kick in hehehh

aw dang this thing is gonna snitch on me inc e i hit publish fjdhdh