I was their American Dream Thoughts -- Patrick Ging by

The "American" Family

patrickging11 — 2024-05-15 23:53:21 UTC

Our family too was unlike the other families. But we were also unlike many of the other immigrant in the sense that it was just us 5. We didn't have much extended family in the US and it often was just us.

My conceptions of what "American" things to do were came from mostly media and books that I saw in school and television when we saw it. It always was a bit odd to me that we didn't go to birthday parties, have school celebrations, or have neighborhood friends like I saw in media.

Now that I'm older and can understand how things came to be, I don't think I could've fully comprehended the difference when I was younger. I didn't find what we did abnormal or inherently worse -- I just recognized it was different.

The "American" Relative

patrickging11 — 2024-05-16 00:04:23 UTC

This page is super relatable to me. When I'm overseas in Ireland, there's always a bit of a excitement to see us. I get that our folks across the pond only get to see us once every few years, but I think part of it has to do with the fact we're the Americans in our family.

Whenever I'm back, my relatives are always super interested in American news, politics, drama, jobs, etc. I think part of it was that for many of them, their imagination of America -- and especially New York -- comes from the media they consume that has it. Even though many of my family members dislike America, they LOVE New York. When I'm back home I'm not quite Irish, or even the Japanese cousin, I'm the American cousin specifically.

Being Mixed / Different

patrickging11 — 2024-05-16 00:13:33 UTC

In this page, when Malaka says she's Filipino/Egyptian, the girl she said it to calls her self a "regular Filipino". Despite being at schools with radically different demographics, I've noticed that people too say that to me.

I pondered why people say that. I used to think that it was because being either Japanese / Irish was unusual in the schools that I went to (especially being both). I think that when people say that they're trying to compliment me, but I find that saying that you're a "regular" x, y, or z makes it seem like it's mundane or boring to be one thing. I could be wrong, but that was the impression I got when I got that response thrown back to me.

The complicated answer is also a very relatable one too. A lot of people are very surprised when they hear about the unique cultural composition of my family and the things that we do / don't do.

Being "white washed"

patrickging11 — 2024-05-16 00:19:08 UTC

I went to an extremely Asian high school (over 70%) and it was very common for people to call each other "white washed" (I suppose they really couldn't call me white washed because I was ethnically white...). They usually assigned that adjective to people that did 'stereotypically white' things (to quote them) such as have Starbucks, SweetGreen, wear certain types of clothing, listen to certain types of music.

I feel that it's a bit of a charged statement to call someone. It sort of suggests that being of a certain ethnicity calls for them to act a particular way. I knew a lot of people that were trying to be less of a certain way and reinvent themselves. Fortunately, people weren't bullied for being 'white washed'.

Doctor, lawyer, engineer

patrickging11 — 2024-05-16 00:44:01 UTC

Despite being maybe 15 years apart, the hierarchy of jobs (somewhat) still remains in Asian culture. In my school, it was "doctor, lawyer, engineer". It exists on many strata too. When I was in middle school, there was this collective pressure to go to the best high schools in New York City. When I was in high school, there was this pressure to go to the best colleges and the best majors. Part of me thinks that it's because those positions were very formidable financially, but I also wonder if there's a sense of status with being the mother of a doctor, or engineer.

Those moments that felt like yesterday

patrickging11 — 2024-05-16 00:55:07 UTC

I can't help but love this scene (and all of the scenes of Malaka's childhood when she's in Egypt). I feel like there are often these moments really do feel like yesterday sometimes.

There was this span of time in my life where we went to Ireland nearly every year. And now that I'm moving about and working, I can't really go anymore (next time I'm going is probably in 2-3 years). Things may not change much over in Ireland, but the people that I'm visiting are (some of them aren't here anymore, rest in peace). It's a strange feeling. I remember one time walking through this mountain in Kildaire, and it was like a scene out of a national geographic film. It does feel like yesterday though...