Social Justice by Rachel Mainguy

Ms. Grasby #1

Ms_Mainguy — 2014-04-03 18:30:53 UTC

a)Watch the video clip B) Post a response C) Respond to Other's posts

Tejaswini

tchauhan214 — 2016-02-10 23:04:36 UTC

Well, they might not have enough money to move out. Living in America isn't easy you know.

Tejaswini

tchauhan214 — 2016-02-10 23:05:24 UTC

Some facts I found interesting about Detroit were :
1.) The city of Detroit was a home to 1.8 million people and it had the highest per capita income in the United States
2.) It is the largest municipal bankruptcy in the history of the United States till now.
3.) There are approximately 78,000 abandoned homes in the city.
Why did the manufacturing plants leav Detroit

Mayank

665673 — 2016-02-12 18:02:56 UTC

Its sad that Detroit went from being such a good city to being a war zone.

Guranchal

2016-02-12 18:04:11 UTC

why are the people ruining the houses. Cant brack Obama help save Detroit

Manthaniel

2016-02-12 18:04:27 UTC

detroit is a warzone?

Tejaswini

2016-02-12 18:05:52 UTC

Is everything back to normal now?

Response to Guranchal from Mayank

665673 — 2016-02-12 18:06:13 UTC

Because there is war so obviously people would destroy things and houses are really big so they are a bigger target.

Anshika

2016-02-12 18:07:01 UTC

I feel sad for Detroit since people (before the war started)) actually wanted t o live here,but now no-one wants to live here

AnyciaD3htHUg

2016-02-12 18:07:14 UTC

It's a wonder, how cities/things that we're so popular go bad bad in just a matter of decades, with close to no thought, and care.

Saad

2016-02-12 18:08:01 UTC

No wonder U.S.A isn't the
richest country in the world
anymore.

Farhan

2016-02-12 18:08:19 UTC

It is a warzone but someone has to do something about it
#guravrinderpreetank :) lol

Ravinder

2016-02-12 18:08:45 UTC

Detroit is a war zone because many reasons one reason could be that people commit to many crimes like stealing from a fire station like in the video.

Response to Tejaswini from Mayank

665673 — 2016-02-12 18:08:53 UTC

Yah I am wondering the same thing.

Response to Guranchal from Tejaswini

2016-02-12 18:09:59 UTC

Well, Guranchal, I don't really think there was a war. I researched this and found that a car manufacturing plant sort of thing left Detroit and so it was bankrupted

Saad

2016-02-12 18:10:04 UTC

What exactly happened to
this place? Is it all because of the crime scenes?

AnycieD3htHUg

2016-02-12 18:10:16 UTC

Canada seems to be much more secure than most places in America.

Mayank

665673 — 2016-02-12 18:10:56 UTC

I feel bad for the people that might have suffered loss lost their homes and even died.

Saad

2016-02-12 18:11:51 UTC

I bet the population is
going to go way down in
the next 5 years

Mayank

665673 — 2016-02-12 18:12:31 UTC

People lost a lot of money.

In response to Guranchal (AnyciaD3htHUg)

2016-02-12 18:12:58 UTC

There are too many cities to focus on one city no matter the circumstances.

Mayank

665673 — 2016-02-12 18:13:19 UTC

I wonder what the government is going to do.

Farhan

2016-02-12 18:13:22 UTC

I think Detroit citizens are loosing money by loosing jobs, and people who still live there today may also get
robbed
Stop spamming please :)

Tejaswini

2016-02-12 18:14:49 UTC

The city's automobile industry has suffered from global competition and has moved much of the remaining production out of Detroit. Local crime rates are among the highest in the United States.
Research People and you will find out B)

Mayank

665673 — 2016-02-12 18:16:03 UTC

Some facts I found interesting were:

1.) Detroit owes money to over 100,000 company's and creditors

2.) Detroit is facing over 20 billion in debt and unfunded liabilities.

3.) Detroit has a lot of houses available for $500 or even less.

4.) Detroit has about 78,000 abandoned houses.

5.) Detroit has such a bad crime rate that even the police is telling people to enter the city at their own risk.

Guranchal

2016-02-12 18:16:08 UTC

I found out that
1.)The lights are literally going out all across Detroit. Currently, 40% of its streetlights are not working
2.)With long-term debt estimated between $18 billion and $20 billion and that is a lot of money they owe.
3.)Earlier this year, Detroit filed for Chapter 9 bankruptcy that is also a lot.
4.)The city currently has just 9,700 workers, yet has 21,000 retirees drawing benefits.
5.) Detroit's population has declined 63% since 1950, including a 26% decline since 2000.

Response from Kamalpreet to Saad'a comment

2016-02-12 18:16:46 UTC

I don't think ther is going to be a Detroit in the next 5 years.

Tejaswini

2016-02-12 18:17:06 UTC

I don't think they are going to do anything. I mean, they're facing a bankrupcy. They will try to pay off the loans that's what. What can they do. There is like so much crime in that place, who would want to live there anyways

Anshika

2016-02-12 18:17:11 UTC

there are so many crimes in Detroit and not many people live here anymore. It's all because people living here before got bankrupt and didn't have money to pay bills

Kamalpreet

2016-02-12 18:18:14 UTC

It is sad to hear that because of mismanagement a whole city may be destroyed. How can a place go from a normal city to a place that looks like a warzone in just a few decades?

Tejaswini

2016-02-12 18:18:41 UTC

Exactly.

Tejaswini

2016-02-12 18:19:06 UTC

I know right and I would rather live in Canada forever Than 1 day in US

Saad

2016-02-12 18:19:37 UTC

Now U.S.A's economy is going to go dooowwwnnn lol

Ravinder

2016-02-12 18:20:09 UTC

Did you know that Detroit used to be one of the greatest cities in Michigan!?! Well, at least from what im reading.

Kamalpreet

2016-02-12 18:20:55 UTC

Only 7 percent of the city's eighth graders are proficient in reading. Whoa!!!!!

Manthaniel

2016-02-12 18:24:09 UTC

Detroit has struggled with high crime for decades.with a murder rate around 58 per 100,000.

Tejaswini

2016-02-12 18:24:58 UTC

holy!That's Bad!!!

^ AnyciaD3htHUg

2016-02-12 18:25:49 UTC

This relates because in the video it talks about how Detroit was the fifth most popular city back in the day, and now it's one of the worst.

Response to Myank by Kamalpreet

2016-02-12 18:27:42 UTC

How come these houses are so low in Canada house price is increasing while there it is decreasing. Why isn't the rest of U.S.A helping Detroit

Manthaniel

2016-02-12 18:27:54 UTC

i cant believe that cars could make people go bankrupt. i hope this never happens in canada

Ravinder

2016-02-12 18:28:58 UTC

Detroit was an important part of the Underground Railroad. Wow that relates to Black history month!

#2 Conversation

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-17 20:10:44 UTC

We will have a group discussion. Choose one prompt or question below to discuss with the group. You have a couple minutes to reflect before we begin. Keep in mind our criteria for a good conversation.

Reflection Questions/Prompts
a) If Detroit is not at war, why was it referred to as being a "war zone" in the video clip?

b)Kamalpreet brought up a good question, why do you think houses are so cheap in Detroit. There you could buy a house for $500 or even $1. In the GTA the average house is $602,607

c) Why is the crime rate so high in Detroit?

d) How could the collapse of a car plant cause all of these problems?

e) What is one suggestion you have for bettering life in Detroit?

f) Share your response to the following facts :

The violent crime rate in Detroit is five times higher than the national average.

The murder rate in Detroit is 11 times higher than it is in New York City.

Police solve less than 10 percent of the crimes that are committed in Detroit.

g) What is a suggestion you have for bettering Detroit's image?

h) The person who created the poster below, what do you think they were really trying to say?

View #3

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-17 20:28:05 UTC

Watch the video below. It will take us two blocks to complete. In the last 5 minutes of the block you will write a couple sentences using one of the sentence frames below.

This makes me feel....
I wonder....
If I were ____ I would (think, feel, want)...
This reminds me of...
Something I want to ask ____ is....
If I lived there I...
How successful do you think you would be if you were living in the same situation as the Secret Millionaire?
I think wealthy people (should/should not) be expected to help those in need because...

Feedback- Activity #1

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-17 20:36:27 UTC

-I think it is great that some of you used the internet as a resource to clarify information you were not sure about
-Be careful not to get tripped up by literary devices. When they said Detriot was a "war zone" it did not mean a literal war was happening
-Make sure you take the time to read what one another is writing. Some of you would have had a clearer picture of what was going on if you just listened to your peers ideas sooner
-Challenge yourself to add something that will move the conversation not close it (i.e., if your contribution is "I agree with everything ___said" you haven't added anything new, try "I agree with everything ___ said, but I still wonder....)
-I love that many of you used this chance to go back and forth and converse with one another, I could actually feel/see the conversation moving as you began to develop a deeper understanding of what was happening
-I love that some of you who may usually be shy to speak in front of peers, took the chance to really explore your voice...yay!
-This is an excellent way for me to see who is focused, putting forth an effort and who is really "listening" to their peers and understanding what their peers are saying. To demonstrate active "listening" try addressing the person you are responding to in your post (i.e., I agree Kamalpreet that___but do you know why___ etc)

Manthaniel- challenge yourself to contribute more to the next discussion, I want to see you acknowledge and respond to someone's ideas

Farhan- I was happy to see that you took the chance to really let your ideas come out. Continue to do so.

T-J-uh- I appreciate that you did the extra research to help steer the conversation.

Anycia- A woman of few words, but each comment was well thought out.

Guranchal and Mayank- though you were confused at first I appreciated that you read what your peers had to say and listened. I also appreciated all the interesting facts you contributed.

Komal- You varied up your posts. You posed good questions and commented on other's ideas.

Anshika- Your posts demonstrated an understanding of what it was that was going on in the video, but you were a little quiet out there. I would love to see you post a direct response that acknowledges the ideas of someone else

Ravinder- You were a little quiet out there. I would love to hear more of your ideas, see what questions you had etc.

Saad- you kept your comments short and sweet. They were correct and on point. I would like to see you pose questions or even respond directly (aknowledge) your peers comments

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-22 16:17:07 UTC

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-22 16:19:02 UTC

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-22 16:21:34 UTC

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-22 16:23:53 UTC

#3 Media Online Discussion

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-22 16:24:51 UTC

-Take a quick minute to review the feedback I gave you/we talked about the other day. Then scroll down...below are 4 pieces of graffiti art made by an artist named Banksy. Look at each piece. You will have 15 minutes to write at least one comment and respond to at least one other person's comment. You might spend the entire time on one image that really moves you, or you might end up commenting on a number of them. When the 15 minutes is up we will come together in a circle for a conversation. At that time we will finish our conversation from the other day/discussion #2 prompts.

What should I write?
Here are some prompts to help.
I think Banksy made this piece because...
When I see this I feel...because...
This piece reminds me of...because...
The piece that stood out to me most was...because...
How I see this connecting to economic inequality is...
I think this piece is attempting to represent the voice of ....
I imagine that ...would not appreciate the messages in this art because...
When I saw this I wondered...
A question I have for Banksy is...
Choose one character in one of the images and explain what you imagine they would be thinking...
The most powerful part of the image is...
Something I might change is...
I think this piece is/is not effective because...
If I could ask a character in the image a question it would be...

Mayank

665673 — 2016-02-22 18:00:55 UTC

I think that Bansky made this piece because he wants to tell people that more than the fact that poor people need money they need a change in the place they live in and it isn't just them it is mostly all of us.

Kamalpreet

austinben007 — 2016-02-22 18:03:35 UTC

I think this graffiti shows that even children know we need to change because there are so many buldings we can't see nature. Children are trying to make a boring wall look like paradise

Farhan

2016-02-22 18:03:47 UTC

I think Banksy made this so he can spread the message of changing poor countries to being better. #keepYourcoins, I want CHANGE!

Saad

2016-02-22 18:04:34 UTC

I think Banksy made this piece because he was trying to spread the message that he wanted the place to change.

Manthaniel

2016-02-22 18:04:36 UTC

i think this poster is about slavery and how when your a slave you cant do anything you want. or perhaps FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS THAT HAVE BEEN CANCELLED

Tejaswini

2016-02-22 18:05:07 UTC

I think that this picture stood out for me the most. This is because in Detroit the remaining population lives a life of misery, and they think about or in other words dream about living a life of paradise. This is why I think that Banksy made this picture to inform us that the people living in Detroit don't live a nice life and want one because everyone deserves one.

Anshika

2016-02-22 18:05:17 UTC

I feel that the idea"I hate Monday" is a privileged because if Monday didn't come then people wouldn't start work and they wouldn't have money....... and the situation can become something like Detroit.

Mayank

665673 — 2016-02-22 18:07:20 UTC

I think that Bansky made this piece because he wanted to show everyone that there still are kids working hard forcefully at young ages.

Manthaniel

2016-02-22 18:07:26 UTC

maybe, but maybe it could be that they are slaves and mondays they have to get back to work from being off on the weekends

Guranchal

2016-02-22 18:07:31 UTC

if I could ask this man a question , it would be why did you write that?
I would ask this because why should we not follow our dreams. This man does not look happy doing this so he should not be forced to do this.

Mayank

665673 — 2016-02-22 18:09:09 UTC

I think that Bansky made this piece because he wanted to tell everyone that for some people they want to follow their dreams but they cant mostly because of slavery.

Kamalpreet

austinben007 — 2016-02-22 18:09:32 UTC

I kind of agree with Manthaniel but, I just think that there poor and on Mondays and they're are only kids they have to go back to work because the money they earned before has been used up.

Manthaniel

2016-02-22 18:10:21 UTC

they look african not trying to be racist

Response to Manthaniel from Anshika

2016-02-22 18:10:27 UTC

I agree with u, but do u think that maybe it's also something to do with our economy / society not letting us follow our dreams?

Reply of Tejaswini to Kamal

2016-02-22 18:10:27 UTC

Yes this could be one of the reasons why, but don't you think that there are a lot of building already destroyed in Detroit ? So what are they actually trying to say by making this picture?

Saad

2016-02-22 18:10:47 UTC

This picture is upsetting.

Mayank

665673 — 2016-02-22 18:11:38 UTC

I think that Bansky made this piece because he wanted to say something from a slaves point of view and that slaves hate Mondays because they have to start working really hard again

Manthaniel

2016-02-22 18:11:54 UTC

slavery also happened in africa

Farhan

2016-02-22 18:12:06 UTC

I think this piece is attempting to represent the voice of people who want change in poor countries.

Kamalpreet

austinben007 — 2016-02-22 18:12:21 UTC

I think Banksy made this to shgow people want to follow their dreams but unfortunately they can't because they don't have that much money.

Reply of Tejaswini to Mayank

2016-02-22 18:12:29 UTC

Wait, so you mean that they are given money to do this ?

Guranchal

2016-02-22 18:12:49 UTC

I think that the child with the bucket in this picture is thinking, "why do I have to be
forced to do my job can't I go to school and learn so I can make more money."

Manthaniel

2016-02-22 18:13:26 UTC

i think this is about 2 kids trapped in a world of slavery and they are slaves and they are imagining what their freedom could be like

Saad

2016-02-22 18:13:46 UTC

I think this what the two kids dream of every day

Kamalpreet

austinben007 — 2016-02-22 18:14:05 UTC

Yes the guy with the paint brush his facial expression is very sad.

Tejaswini

2016-02-22 18:15:08 UTC

Wait, It might not necessarily mean that this is in Detroit. This could be in anywhere where people aren't living a good life

Manthaniel to kamel

2016-02-22 18:16:22 UTC

i think he is poor but he actually wants to change the city

anshika

2016-02-22 18:16:38 UTC

I think Banksy made this piece because he thinks people don't need money they need change.

Kamalpreet

austinben007 — 2016-02-22 18:17:44 UTC

I think that this man is poor but he wants to change society so that they do not have pity on him but on themselves, because they have been destroying society with this paper that apparently tells if you're rich or not.

Anshika

2016-02-22 18:18:17 UTC

This reminds me of mahatma Gandhi's quote "Be the change you want to see in the world".

Saad to Farhan

2016-02-22 18:18:37 UTC

Ya, that's what I think too

Anshika

2016-02-22 18:24:49 UTC

I think this shows me of destruction of beaches/nature ( polluted) and that is why the kids are ot playing their.

Kamalpreet

austinben007 — 2016-02-22 18:27:13 UTC

How do you know this is in Detroit

#4 DEFINING ECONOMIC INEQUALITY

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-22 18:44:53 UTC

-Post images, examples, quotes, videos or songs, or notes that help us to cement our definition of what Economic Inequality is. Please make sure any notes are in your own words. You have 20 minutes for this activity. After we will make a circle to discuss. You may also want to use a bit of your time to comment on the things your peers have chosen to post.

Feedback for Media Discussion #3

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-22 18:54:13 UTC

I felt that you all put forth a great effort to respond this session. A general comment I would have is to try and keep the general theme in mind as we move from one activity or discussion to the next. Our focus is on economic injustice. Detroit is only one example of that. Detroit is not our theme. As you come across new quotes or images that I might present you with, try to ask "how does this connect back to the concept of economic inequality"

I like how Anshika and T-j-huh posed questions to some of you. Their questions showed that they read and understood what you had to say and were trying to move the conversation further. Bravo!

Manthaniel I also appreicate that you took the time to respond to someone else and that you were much more "vocal" during this discussion. Next time I would love you to try asking a question of one of your peers in response

Farhan, I appreciate your instagram trend-setting hashtags ;) I felt your posts were to the point and demonstrated that you took the time to really think about what it was you were seeing. I would love to see you responding to other people's ideas directly.

Mayank, you managed to hammer out many comments in a short amount of time and the great part is they were quality comments. I could tell that you took the time to really look at the piece in front of you. Don't forget to keep our general theme in mind. Continue to address other people and try incorporating questions into your responses (i.e., have you considered... why do you think...etc)

Kamal, I felt your first response and the commentary you made on money was quite powerful. I appreciate that you took the time to make several replies to your peers. Moving forward, you could make less replies but spend more time on an individual one. Try posing a question to a peer etc.

Saad when you expanded on your ideas during our conversation I saw that they had depth, thank you for sharing. Moving forward try adding a little more detail (i.e., IF you think something explain why you think it.) when writing on here.

Guranchal thank you for sharing your ideas. Don't forget to keep the bigger theme of economic inequity in mind as you post your comments. This is a good lesson for any subject...to remind yourself of the big ideas that your teacher has been working on and then ask how you can demonstrate those when responding.

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-25 14:07:14 UTC

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-25 14:14:35 UTC

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-25 14:16:29 UTC

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-25 14:21:55 UTC

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-25 14:24:07 UTC

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-25 14:49:46 UTC

Online Discussions

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-25 14:54:01 UTC

-I used other resources to look up any additional information I needed to clarify any ideas I had or answer any of my questions

-I asked questions of my peers or made comments to them, which showed I had read and thought about what they had written (i.e., I agree with you ___ but what do you think about....)

-My posts were varied (I asked questions, made reflections etc. and did not repeat myself).

-I explained my ideas (i.e., even when agreeing/disagreeing with others I made sure to say why)

-I remembered the big themes we are learning about and connected back to those when posting

-I made at least the minimum # of posts that Ms. Grasby asked for

-My posts did not close the conversation. (i.e., I posted in ways that would move the conversation along: "Yes and..."; "I agree, and also noticed....")

-My posts had few grammar and spelling mistakes, any errors did not take away from people's ability to read and understand me

What to Expect

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-25 14:55:52 UTC

Hello my precious children. We are starting our new unit on economic inequality. For the unit we will be combing independent tasks with online discussions and group conversations. Below is a legend that will help you understand each task at a glance.

Online Discussion

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-25 14:58:58 UTC

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-25 14:59:59 UTC

You will post comments, questions, reflections etc. and respond to Ms. Grasby.

Independent Task

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-25 15:05:36 UTC

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-25 15:06:21 UTC

The focus is on you posting your own thoughts, ideas, reflections, responses to be complete by the set deadline.

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-25 15:07:18 UTC

Conversation

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-25 15:07:51 UTC

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-25 15:08:15 UTC

We will sit in a circle and share out thinking.

Feedback

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-25 15:08:40 UTC

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-25 15:09:29 UTC

Teacher feedback. What you should continue, what you should consider and try moving forward. Sometimes you will also be asked to give feedback on your own work.

Success Criteria

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-25 15:10:38 UTC

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-25 15:11:01 UTC

Success criteria we've identified together for a given task, text form etc. Be sure to refer to it as you work.

Kamalpreet

2016-02-29 18:12:48 UTC

The three people with money are big because they have more power in the world because they have more money and there is this little guy who is very tiny because he has no money.

Farhan

2016-02-29 18:14:58 UTC

1 rich man has half the pie, left the other half for a few million people.

Saa

2016-02-29 18:15:25 UTC

Kamalpreet

2016-02-29 18:16:10 UTC

A guy has like a bazillion dollars as his daily income and the other one who just gets a dollar a day he's campaigning to raise his income but the rich guy is saying that the other is being too greedy while he is being too greedy.

Ravinder

2016-02-29 18:16:39 UTC

Saad

2016-02-29 18:17:43 UTC

I think its saying nothing is better than equal treatment of poor people

Tejaswini

2016-02-29 18:18:50 UTC

I chose this picture because I think this has a clear representation of what economic injustice is. The picture shows that on half of the world are those people that have a high social status and want to hog everything. I think that this should change because this is just unfair to those who seek for opportunities but just don't get them because of SOCIAL INJUSTICE!!! Everyone deserves a fair chance.

Anshika

2016-02-29 18:21:08 UTC

I chose this picture because it shows that the rich people have a lot of money and the rest of us r poor/have less income.

AnyciaD3HtHUg

2016-02-29 18:21:53 UTC

This picture shows people building buildings for wealthy people to live in, rather than helping the poor people below, surrounding the video.

Ravinder

2016-02-29 18:24:16 UTC

As you can see in my picture it has the elevator working for the wealthy people and it is going up and the elevator for the rest is broken i think the author is showing that there is a lot of inequality in the economical system.

response to Guranchalzzzz from Guranchal

2016-02-29 18:25:07 UTC

this picture reminds be about that the world is so into looking into money instead of thinking about others.

2016-02-29 18:25:27 UTC

Anshika

2016-02-29 18:25:36 UTC

"A nation will not surve morally or economically when so few have so much, while so many have so little."

Mayank

2016-02-29 18:26:01 UTC

Guranchal

2016-02-29 18:28:07 UTC

this reminds me about how people are doing so many things around the world and we are not even not notising what is happening

Anshika

2016-02-29 18:28:11 UTC

Mayank

2016-02-29 18:28:13 UTC

Saad

2016-02-29 18:28:29 UTC

#5 Talking About Our Definition

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-02-29 19:12:02 UTC

Kamalpreet

2016-02-29 21:07:25 UTC

A rich guy eats half of a pie and then lets the other million poor people eat the other half while saying that he

Anshika

2016-02-29 23:52:48 UTC

This photo shows that one rich person’s income is the same as many people’s incomes combined together
#economic inequality

Anshika

2016-03-01 00:02:24 UTC

This clearly shows economic inequality since one person gets so much and the others have too share a very small piece. Just like economic inequality because there is always inequality (ex : income )

Anshika

2016-03-01 00:29:40 UTC

Kamalpree

2016-03-01 02:30:38 UTC

The rich family who owns wall street are saying they can't afford 10 dollar an hour to give their worker a raise.

Kamalpreet

2016-03-01 02:34:54 UTC

The wealthy people rule the world basically so they are siting on it while the poor, to them it feels like the world is crushing them.

Kamalpreet

2016-03-01 02:38:23 UTC

The rich live in a perfect green area with really good weather while the poor are forced to live in a desert with really, really, really bad weather presented by the evil looking storm clouds.

REPLY TO RAVINDER FROM TEJASWINI ON THE ELAVATOR THING

tchauhan214 — 2016-03-02 23:51:55 UTC

Yes, I agree with you on that Ravinder, I think there is a lot of inequality going on in that picture and our world. And you know what, maybe this elevator thing is true, maybe for the higher authorities there are good facilities and the middle classes don't get anything.

REPLY TO ANSHIKA' S SPOON PICTURE FROM TEJASWINI

tchauhan214 — 2016-03-02 23:55:10 UTC

Yes I think you are right that some people get a lot of things and the things that are left, well people are fighting for it just like pie. But have you thought about how this injustice can be finished? Because I wonder about that a lot

RESPONSE TO KAMAL FROM TEJASWINI

tchauhan214 — 2016-03-03 00:05:57 UTC

And the middle class is just out of the view..... This shows pretty much that there are 2 types of people:
1.) rich and 2.) poor

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-03-03 14:07:24 UTC

In a moment we will discuss the information you posted. Here are some extra points I would like us to cover....

-Kamalpreet posted the picture of the signs that point to the "Rich" and "Poor" and he commented on the difference in the environment each gets. T-Juh sort of touched on this, but what do you make of the fact that the "middle class" sign is in the garbage?

-Saad posted an interesting quote that I think we could look closer at to see if we really understand what is being said: "There is no greater inequity than the equal treatment of unequals"...kind of a tongue twister. Take a moment to consider what each word in the quote means. Remember "inequity" means it is unjust or unfair.

-In the elevator comic posted by REDvinder, what do you make of the fact that the wealthy people's elevator is going up, would it change the meaning of the comic if there were going down instead?

-What does the info on the comic posted by T-Juh mean "The top 1% control 46% of the worlds wealth?

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-03-03 14:27:04 UTC

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-03-03 14:27:30 UTC

Go here https://www.meta-chart.com/pie you will make a pie chart which you will post on here. Your pie chart will show how you think wealth is distributed in Canada or the US. Show how much of the pie you think each group gets:

-The wealthiest 1%
-Upper Class
-Upper middle class
-Middle class
-Lower class

Before you begin we will take a moment to discuss our criteria for making a proper pie graph

#6 Guess and Graph

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-03-03 16:47:35 UTC

Manthaniel

2016-03-03 18:05:19 UTC

inequity means unfair

MANTHANIEL

2016-03-03 18:25:26 UTC

T-JUH

2016-03-03 18:27:43 UTC

Mayank

665673 — 2016-03-03 18:29:24 UTC

GURANCHAL

2016-03-03 18:29:34 UTC

AnyciaD3HtHUg

2016-03-03 18:29:52 UTC

Redvinder

2016-03-03 18:30:15 UTC

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-03-07 16:06:54 UTC

Canada's best paid CEOs took home an average of $8,960,000 in 2014. The median income for a year for a single person household is 40,000 dollars. How much more is the CEO making than the average working person?

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-03-07 16:08:32 UTC

Walt Disney CEO to Worker ratio is 283:1

If the worker made $60,000 how much would the ceo make?

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-03-07 16:11:39 UTC

Interesting fact: The bottom 10 per cent of Canadians saw their median net worth shrink their debts outweighed their assets by $5,100. Record your thoughts, feelings or reflections about this fact.

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-03-07 16:12:58 UTC

The bottom 50 per cent of Canadians own just 6 per cent of the wealth. The median income of the bottom 50 per cent was just $15,300 in 2012. The median income for the top 1% of Canadians was $454,800 in 2013. If you took one persons salary from the top 1% roughly how many people's salaries from the bottom 50% could you pay?

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-03-07 16:13:35 UTC

The medium income of the top 20% of richest familes from 1999 to 2012.

1999 $763,700

2005 $981,400

2012 $1,380,000

What is the trend that you notice?

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-03-07 16:26:16 UTC

Record any thoughts, reflections, questions etc. you have after reading this graph.

#7 Reflect and Debrief

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-03-07 16:26:59 UTC

You have 15 minutes to respond to as many of the prompts below as you can. After we will have a conversation

Kamalpreet

2016-03-07 18:15:36 UTC

Mayank

665673 — 2016-03-07 18:20:02 UTC

16,980,000

Saad

2016-03-07 18:20:36 UTC

CEO would
make $16,980,000

Farhan

farhanpanchbhaya — 2016-03-07 18:20:36 UTC

16 ,980, 000

Manthaniel

2016-03-07 18:20:36 UTC

16980000

T-Juh

2016-03-07 18:20:55 UTC

I think that the trend is that the rich people have been getting richer and there is basically nothing done for the poor people. It is true because the medium income has been increasing over time. But the people that are worth like NOTHING.......they don't have anything. The rich are like hogging up money that other people should get as well.

NOT FAIR!!!!!!

Anycia

2016-03-07 18:21:03 UTC

16,980,000

Mayank

665673 — 2016-03-07 18:21:24 UTC

29.7254901961

Manthaniel

2016-03-07 18:21:26 UTC

I think the trend is that the richest just keep on getting richer and they are very selfish

Kamalpreet

2016-03-07 18:21:55 UTC

16,980,000

REDvinder

2016-03-07 18:22:04 UTC

$16,980,000

anshika

2016-03-07 18:22:05 UTC

the ceo will get $16.980,000

anshika

2016-03-07 18:23:09 UTC

The trend is that the rich keep getting richer throughout the years. Also this is only 20% of the families, so think about the other 80% of the families.

REDvinder

2016-03-07 18:23:16 UTC

29.7254901961

Anycia

2016-03-07 18:23:34 UTC

8,920,000 More dollars.

Farty (Farhan)

farhanpanchbhaya — 2016-03-07 18:23:51 UTC

8,920,000

Mayank

665673 — 2016-03-07 18:24:42 UTC

8,920,000

Saad

2016-03-07 18:24:50 UTC

About every 6 years, they make about $300,000 more

Manthaniel

2016-03-07 18:24:51 UTC

29.7254901961

Ravinder

2016-03-07 18:25:08 UTC

8,920,000

Farty / Farhan

farhanpanchbhaya — 2016-03-07 18:25:19 UTC

29.725
2 people can pay for over 59 people.

T-Juh :)

2016-03-07 18:26:00 UTC

Same answer...... 8,920,00

Kamalpreet

2016-03-07 18:26:04 UTC

29.72549019607843

Anycia

2016-03-07 18:27:31 UTC

29 peoples'

Mayank

665673 — 2016-03-07 18:27:51 UTC

The black section of the chart is like the Bill Gates section.

anshika

2016-03-07 18:28:00 UTC

the ceo takes $8,920,000 more

guranchal tra lalalalal

gillguranchal — 2016-03-07 18:29:02 UTC

8 920 000

Kamalpreet

2016-03-07 18:29:17 UTC

8920000

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-03-10 16:47:42 UTC

Prompt #1

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-03-10 18:19:47 UTC

Should the "haves" feel responsible to look after the "have nots?"

T-Juh

2016-03-10 18:20:38 UTC

I think that the "haves" or rich people do have a responsibility towards the people that have nothing. Yes it is true that they have earned that money with their hard work and yeah....... but they should understand that there are other people that need money too. there are people with nothing. The rich should be generous enough and they should care about others too. They already have a lot of money, if they donate or give some money to those in need, they won't die. So I think that they do have a responsibility towards the people with nothing at all.

Farty / Farhan

farhanpanchbhaya — 2016-03-10 18:21:02 UTC

I think that the more fortunate people do have a responsibility to look after the poor people and donate some of their money. While the rich people make 10 million dollars every year, donating 1% of their money is a lot...

Prompt 2

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-03-10 18:21:06 UTC

If you were responsible for helping to reduce the problem of economic inequality what would your plan be?

ANSHIKIA

2016-03-10 18:21:07 UTC

I believe that yes, rich people do have an responsibility towards the people that do not have anything. I think this because rich people should donate since they have so much and it wouldn't harm them if they donate. They should be caring and should think about poor people. Also since many people are in dept. For ex :"The bottom 10 per cent of Canadians saw their median net worth shrink their debts outweighed their assets by $5,100". So I believe that the rich should help

Saad

2016-03-10 18:21:15 UTC

I think that rich people
should have a responsibility
to at least donate money to the poor about once every other week or so.

AnyciaD3HtHUg

2016-03-10 18:21:17 UTC

I don't think that "haves" have the responsibility to look after those who "have not".That's because there's only so much responsibilities someone can handle, and 1,000,000 people for one person to take care of is too much, and shaming the fortunate, for not doing is so, is poor and hypocritical.

Manthaniel

2016-03-10 18:21:34 UTC

I truly believe that thems rich people should not have to give their hard (or perhaps not hard: lotto max) earned money to the people that are poor. the poors should learn how to make a living. it is their fault for not making enough money. although, if thems rich people do donate money to the non richs that would be nice.

Mayank

665673 — 2016-03-10 18:22:25 UTC

I believe that rich folks need to give some money to the people that need it more than the rich do like the lower class and middle class. I believe this because the poor need the money like 1,000,000 times more. I did not finish!!!!!!!!!!!!

REDvinder

2016-03-10 18:22:36 UTC

I believe that rich people do have responsibility to the people that have nothing.
I think that Rich People need to give some money to the lower class/middle class because some people are at negative money even if they sell everything they have and go bankrupt which is crazy to think about! Plus, it's not going to do any harm if rich people donated to a poor people charity.

Keemaalpreet

2016-03-10 18:25:21 UTC

I think that the rich people should have some responsibility to look after the poor people but only up to a limit. For example the rich people should give some (SOME) money like to shelter homes but the poor people should also take initiative to go to these places

GURANCHAL

gillguranchal — 2016-03-10 18:25:41 UTC

I THINK RICH PEOPLE SHOULD GIVE about 25% of there money to them poor people I think this because them poor people need more money because they don't have a lot of things they should have food and

Saad to Manthaniel

2016-03-10 18:25:48 UTC

What is your reason for that

AnyciaD3HtHUg

2016-03-10 18:26:48 UTC

My plan would be to lower the taxes for those who can't afford it, so they can get ahead and afford the normal taxes in the future, after development.

T-Juh

tchauhan214 — 2016-03-10 21:53:26 UTC

Ms. Grasby, I subscribed your channel and i liked it!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!1

Anshika

2016-03-11 00:06:46 UTC

I would make sure no rich people cut through taxes (make tax loop wholes) because thats one of the reasons economic inequality has began.

Response to Anycia from Anshika

2016-03-11 00:10:44 UTC

I see what you are trying to say and I get that you could have a different opinion. But what if one rich person doesn’t have to take care of 1,000,000? What I mean is that if the rich people just donate a little bit of their money to charities and poor people continuously, then this problem will start to decreases and things will start to get better. Then there will be less poor people in need and more people to donate and help each other out.

Mayank

665673 — 2016-03-21 16:55:38 UTC

My plan would be to make rich people pay a lot of taxes and I would make the poor people pay no or less taxes because they are not available to pay the regular taxes. I would do this because tax is one of the big reasons there is economic inequality.

Kamalpreet

austinben007 — 2016-03-21 16:58:44 UTC

MY plan would be to first increase tax paid by rich people, and I would increase the number of shelter homes, food and clothing banks. I would also better the treatment given to poor people.

Saad

2016-03-21 16:59:48 UTC

I would make sure poor people pay no taxes and maybe make rich people pay more by about 3%

Farhan

farhanpanchbhaya — 2016-03-21 17:00:04 UTC

My plan would be to promote charities and clothing banks.

REDvinder

2016-03-21 17:00:23 UTC

My plan would be to make poor people pay less tax than they should pay and rich people would pay the tax on their behalf. I would do this because poor people don't have the money to do so while the rich people have way more money than needed to do so and plus, the rich people probably wont mind since they have so much money.

Response to Mayank from Anshika

2016-03-21 17:01:55 UTC

I see what you are trying to say, but if we make the rich pay a lot of taxes and the poor pay no taxes or less, then wouldn't it still be economic inequality.

Response to Anshika from AnyciaD3HtHUg

2016-03-21 17:01:58 UTC

I didn't think about that, you're right, but choosing a charity is hard and choosing the "wrong one" when you have a high status, could be risky.

Saad

2016-03-21 17:02:25 UTC

I would also encourage donations

Response to Farhan from Anshik

2016-03-21 17:05:26 UTC

This would be a good deed to do, but how would this help economic inequality.

Manthaniel

2016-03-21 17:06:34 UTC

what do we do? seriously i dont know i cant find the thingy'

Mayank Reply to Anshika's Respone to Mayank

665673 — 2016-03-21 17:07:00 UTC

Good Point but when the money thing is balanced then we could take that of and everyone could pay normal taxes.

Manthaniel

2016-03-21 17:09:13 UTC

my plan would be to take from the rich and give to the poor. or i if i could i would take money out of the canadian budget and give to the poor.

AnyciaD3HtHUg

2016-03-21 17:10:55 UTC

So your plan is to be Robin Hood, Nate? xD

Manthaniel to Mayank

2016-03-21 17:11:31 UTC

Mayank why do you think that the rich should pay more taxes?

Manthaniel to Mayank

2016-03-21 17:12:18 UTC

the rich earn their money fairly because they have found a job. on the other hand the poor have not found a job. or maybe the poor have a job but not a job that pays well.

Manthaniel to Kamalpreet

2016-03-21 17:14:18 UTC

i agree with you with the increase shelter homes food and clothing banks. but with the rich paying more money to taxes i think it is unfair. because the rich earned their money. unless they got it from Lotto Max or something.

Gaurav

2016-03-28 19:02:33 UTC

Would there be a state or something to help support/invest in Detroit? Or is it useless?

Gaurav

2016-03-28 19:06:04 UTC

I think Banksy made this piece because people who are suffering in the world don't need people to help/support them, they want people to make the world better. (Example: police brutality)

Gaurav

2016-03-28 19:12:43 UTC

Gaurav

2016-03-28 19:17:43 UTC

(My picture isn't posted so http://umanitoba.ca/outreach/evidencenetwork/archives/27654) in this picture, it shows two shoes one being a broken shoe (one worn in poverty) and a new shoe (rich).

Gaurav (sorry)

2016-03-28 19:33:02 UTC

https://www.meta-chart.com/share/wealth-distribution-in-canada

Gaurav

2016-03-28 19:35:01 UTC

The trend is that the overall amount keeps on increasing by around 300,000!

Gaurav

2016-03-28 19:36:21 UTC

8,920,000

Gaurav

2016-03-28 19:37:36 UTC

It's very surprising that one percent is 43 percent of all the money of USA.

Gaurav

2016-03-28 19:39:29 UTC

29 people!

Tejaswini

tchauhan214 — 2016-03-28 20:08:39 UTC

I agree with you Anshika, I mean the rich paying more taxes and the poor paying no taxes isn't social equality. It's just like we would rather be poor than be rich as the poor have to pay nothing to the government and are being given facilities on the money of the rich.

Tejaswini

tchauhan214 — 2016-03-28 20:10:55 UTC

I think this happens nowadays as well, because my father told me the more you earn, the more taxes you have to pay. I'm not saying that the people who earn more are like paying MASSIVE amounts of taxes or anything, I'm just saying that they pay a little more than others.

Tejaswini

tchauhan214 — 2016-03-28 20:14:36 UTC

I think I would do kind of the same as everyone else. I would lower the taxes for the people with less earning and make the taxes a little bit higher for everyone who doesn't come in the category of 'poor'. This doesn't mean that I'll be increasing taxes with humongous amounts, the taxes will differ according to to the earning that the person does. I think right now, we all are just blaming the rich people for hogging up the money (I was too until I looked at it from another perspective) but we can't blame them for being more hard-working than others for what they have earned today. We cannot deny the fact that we expect the poor to break the law because they aren't earning as much, they could be making money through smuggling, selling drugs and doing other illegal things in order to earn money AND at the same time, not paying their part of the tax. I would make sure that doesn't happen because we need to look at the poor side as well, till now we were just thinking the rich are the ones to blame but the I think some of the poor are to blame as well. Maybe they are just lazy that's why they fall into the category of poor people or other things. I think we can't ignore this as well. This is why I would make sure I look out for these kind of things while I provide facilities to people sop they don't take disadvantage of the things bring given to them.

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-04-25 13:37:24 UTC

Ladies and Childrens, put your aprons on we're about to have a scone cooking competition.

I will provide the ingredients needed to make a basic scone plus chocolate chips, fresh lemon and frozen berries)

If you want to bring any additional ingredients you can, (i.e.,
vanilla extract
fresh herbs
fresh orange, dried cranberries, coconut) but you must have them on hand for the tasting on Monday. ABSOLUTLEY No nuts allowed!

Next Monday May 2nd you will have a chance to bake a small batch of scones to test out your recipe. On Wednesday May 4th you will make your final product which will be judged blindly by a panel of hungry teachers.

Winner gets bragging rights and a delicious snack. Losers of the competition fail grade 6.

Lets have fun!

Your cooking groups will be the same as your exploravision groups.

Scone Cooking Competition

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-04-25 13:48:34 UTC

Now What?

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-04-25 13:50:37 UTC

Right, you do actually have to do something today.

1) Attached is the judges score card (showing how your entry will be evaluated). Check it out. Also Attached is the recipe. I have included some notes in it to help you. Read and discuss with your group if you will bring additional ingredients/ which ingredients from the list you want to use. You may want to google more scone making tips.
2)Come up with a name for your scone cooking enterprise, but it cannot include any of your names so no, "Manthaniel and Friends," is not an option. Remember the judges should not know whose scone they are eating. And no, Farhan, your company can't be called Sarhan, you evil genius. Any company name that even slightly resembles your names, or your names combined, will result in a disqualification...not from the competition...from life! Don't do it!!

Once you have a name either head to Paint (Anycia) or get paper and a pencil to sketch (photograph and upload) or scower the web for images that you can put together into one amazingtastic logo. Post on here your logo and company name BEFORE Monday. Right, and your logo cannot be a picture of your face.

Let the games begin!

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-04-25 15:26:07 UTC

Scone Crumbs

2016-04-27 17:29:25 UTC

2016-04-27 17:37:25 UTC

Sir Sconesalot's Scones

Manthaniel

2016-04-27 17:42:40 UTC

Sconies

2016-05-01 19:56:51 UTC

May 9th

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-09 10:22:17 UTC

Hello my precious humans. I am sorry that I could not be in today, but I will see you Wednesday with the results of the baking competition. I was very happy with your efforts, hygiene, and overall eatability of your products (to my knowledge you did not poison a single teacher...bravo!) .

We are going to spend a little time revisting our creative writing...because Kamalpreet, I want to be amused...and because through these creative exercises we can work on your critical thinking and problem solving skills and practise some of the basics of writing. But mostly because I want entertainment!

You are sitting in the lab on a Day 3 waiting for Ms. Grasby, but she doesn't show. Manthaniel doesn't notice because he is dealing with his own crisis. It seems the system has rebooted and his desktop has been completely cleared of all chromes. Tragedy.

Farhaan won't stop talking and TJuh is planning a protest over the 5-7-5 syllable rule for haiku poetry because "if you CAN say it in less than 10,000 words...it isn't worth saying!"

Anycia is mid explaining to Anshika that Manthaniel's face has not technically plagiarized their Scone Crumbs logo, since he had his face first, and that "no" they can't sue him," when Guranchal lets out an ear piercing scream.

2/3rds of the Evil genius' look up from their plans of global domination to see what's the matter.

Guranchal explains that she'd checked Ms. Grasby's room for her 15,000 times that morning, had checked the staff room and had even looked in the office. Ms. Grasby's name was not written on the absence board, but she wasn't at school. This meant 2 things... something had happened to Ms. Grasby and Guranchal was no longer a level 4 stalker. Doubble tragedy.

Before the students could succumb to their deep inner sadness the PA comes on. Mr. Hepworth announces that there is an outbreak in the community. Just as he is explaining that there have been sitings of walking dead at Dunrakin, and Chicken and Tings, there is a loud cry heard over the speaker and the sound of a kerfuffle. "Be good to each other," Mr. Hepworth cries and then the PA goes quiet.

The library goes silent. "Everyone remain calm," Redvinder cries. The group turns their attention to him.

Myank looks with hope filled eyes. "Do you know how to survive this?"

Redvinder stands, pulls out Myank's chair, and as he tumbles to the ground Redvinder calls out ," Just be faster than the next guy!" He turns to run from the library.

Welcome children to THE ZOMBIE APOCOLYPSE!

TASK ONE
GET OUT OF THE SCHOOL
The school has become infested. From your seat in the library you can tell this much. You know their are zombies in the front office. You are not sure where else the zombies are, but you can hear the screams of your peers in the hallways. You know one thing...you need to get out of the school where you are all sitting like items in a buffet.
To complete this mission:
Either write and post a detailed account of how you manage to get out of the school or draw, lable and post your route out. You can write as a narrative (story) (i.e., I can hear...then I run...I turn etc.) or you can write a step by step recount ( e.g., 1) I locate blah 2) I look for blah etc.) Or you can write a paragraph. Which ever writing form you choose, be sure to use it properly and check your work for grammar and spelling mistakes before posting. You have the block to complete the mission. And no, you can't kill yourself off in the first mission to avoid doing work in the future...nice try!

Farhan and the zombie

2016-05-09 17:00:50 UTC

zombie eats Farhan, the end =).... No, I eat zombie... I FORGOT
Just Joking
I go outside... in the world filled with zombies. I sneak to the front door, and all I see is a million zombies.
I run to the side doors, but all the doors are blocked with zombies. I go into a classroom, filled with instruments and zombies. I smacked the guitars through the zombies faces. But there were just too many. So I left the room, and went to the gym and got all the equipment. I tied skipping ropes together, making one long one. I got them all to bunch up, and tied them all together. I got some soccer balls and practiced my aim... was not too good. As I shoot the soccer balls, I realized I was killing innocent people. (period ended :( I CRI )

Tu-Juh

2016-05-09 17:02:34 UTC

Saad Idea#1

2016-05-09 17:02:40 UTC

1. Zombies attack me
2.I grab a knife
3.I cut them in small pieces
4. I overcook them a little bit
5.I love my dinner

Manthaniel

2016-05-09 17:03:01 UTC

As the zombies start to raise from the school Manthaniel gets to run to the library. The zombies start to enter the library just as Manthaniel is able to finish copying the ultimate search engine onto his whole home screen. GOOGLE. as the zombies enter Manthaniel turns into a T-HUG and leaves through the TEACHER DOOR. as he leaves he figures out what to call his copying of Google. CHROMING. he will get the Noble Peace Prize Award. OH WAIT EVERYBODY IS DEAD. so he breaks off a zombies arm and uses it to break the glass of the front door. before he leaves he runs back to the library grabs a laptop then leaves. he got a laptop because he did not want to have to recreate his home screen that has a bunch of GOOGLES.

AnyciaD3HtHUg

2016-05-09 17:03:56 UTC

I hear the screams of Guranchal being mauled behind me, "how did they get here so quickly?!" I think. It doesn't matter, I have to get out. (Too bad though, she was gonna make me scones). I know miss Marcelli keeps a shotgun in her office, I don't know why, I just saw it that one time. I'll grab that, I have training for a reason, I knew this day would come. I run into the hallway, shooting away zombies, and breaking pots for hearts (Zelda lel). A zombie has me by the shoulder, he hasn't bit me yet, so I have to be quick. I pull my arm back away from it, I'm about to shoot it after turning around, but then I recognize them, it's Marisol, my twin sister. I can't bring myself to pull the trigger, I know I'll be nothing without her happy smile in my life. I realize I have to find a way to cure her, to cure everyone. I run down the hallway to try and find anything I can, I look down the hallway I see Tejaswini. She look tired, her hat was ripped, and her glasses are broken, I could tell she couldn't see so I went to help her. I ask her how she even survived this long without a weapon, she said she didn't. I than notice her clothes are covered in paint, she tells me that when the paint she slipped on touched her skin she turned back in to a human, after being bitten. " That's the cure!' I yell, we run to Mrs. Lowe's room to grab all the paint and paint guns we can. We run down the hallway to find Marisol again, she's still dead as ever. (She looks like she just woke up). I shoot her with the paint ball gun, it takes a second, but she turns back to normal. "Marisol!" I yell, I've never been so happy in my life, the three of us run around the school, shooting piant everywhere we can. We finally have cured everyone, we're praised, and loved, but we can't stop because we remember the students at Dunrankin. The three of us run as fast as we can, once we've helped everyone in the community we return to our school, I finally win student of the month! "Yay!" After the long day, I run home and jump in my bed, "I finally did something, yay me! Here's to tomorrow, a better day".

The End

And then I get the scones from Guranchal.

Kamalpreet

austinben007 — 2016-05-09 17:03:57 UTC

The sound of redvinder's cries and the possible zombiefication of the office is too much too handle (more importantly the cries of redvinder are deafening). I decide to get out of the library. As I look outside the library it turns out that the zombies were not only n the office or halls they were right outside the library. As a zombie jumps into my face, redvinder starts to cry even harder. Farhan tosses me the chisel and hammer we keep just in case we need to kill people and a sudden blow to the head, causes the zombie trying to kill me to die. Unfortunately I decide that there is not enough tools fro every member of the evil trio, so I kill Farhan and Saad. Then I take there disintegrator ray guns. The site of death causes redvinder to start choke crying, and Manthenial actually stops his chrome copying and I kill him too. A door opens behind me, I look back and see Mr.Critchlow trying to pull a little zombie off his face. He fails. The kid spots me and I run into Mrs.Brubaker's office unfortunately she is a zombie too. As I move towards the door to leave I spot a laser ray gun. Wondering why a teacher has a this, I snatch it and kill the zombie kid and run outside. I decide that if there was a gun in Mrs.Brubaker's, then there will most definitely be guns in the office. So as I go into the office a zombie Myank attacks me, so I kill him. The next thing I know there are thousands of zombies on me. The laser gun isn't enough to kill them (it ran out of light crystals so I stuck it in a zombies face). I disintegrate the zombies. Then I go into the office and take every laser gun I could find. Finally I rush outside and as soon as I get out the door a million zombies jump at me from a top the school.
To Be Continued........

Redvinder

2016-05-09 17:04:34 UTC

As I make Mayank fall off his chair we realize their were zombies inside the library munching on the book ''Divergent''. We start to panic but then REDvinder pulls out a M9 Bayonet knife and stabs the zombie and everyone starts wooing but then Mayank ask's where Manthaniel went and eveyone goes silent, simultaneously everyone looks back where we see Manthaniel trying to train a zombie but then the zombie is about to slap Manthaniel across the face but then AnyciaD3tHUg pulls out a throwing axe that has a chrome picture on it, and throws it at the zombie. Then Manthaniel starts crying and REDvinder asks him why he's crying then he said '' He almost learned how to Chrome ugh, I also named Billy Bob.'' Everyone starts to face palm. Then Redvinder being the leader told everyone that we needed to get out of there and

Saad Idea#2

2016-05-09 17:06:47 UTC

1. I see everybody suffering.
2. I run outside with the zombies behind me.
3. I grab a soccer ball.
4. I hypnotize the zombies to play soccer with me.
5. I teach them soccer skills.
6. I tell them to shoot the soccer balls at each other.
7.They shoot so hard all zombies end up going to the hospital.
8. All zombies are gone.
9. THE END

Saad Idea#

2016-05-09 17:15:39 UTC

1. Zombies are coming after me.
2. Kamalpreet is reading his book about zombies.
3. What a coincidence!
4. I take kamalpreets book.
5. He starts crying but gets over it in only 2 hours.
6. I teach zombies to read
7. they are poisoned with "Kamal-itus" .
8. Zombies never bother me again.

Manthaniel and La Dragon

2016-05-09 17:17:09 UTC

AS Manthaniel runs from a bumblebee in the forest screaming " A BEE IS CHASING MEEE HELP!!!!" . but as the brave person he is (disregarding the fact that he is afraid of bees) he turns and slaps it to death. but now he is lost. he has a compass but doesn't work without a search engine. he has internet explorer but you know how bad that is. so he sets off in search of the ultimate search engine. after a couple of hours he finds a cave that says ultimaate searchhh engiine en hear. (the person was a bad speller) he enters and encounters a dragon. to fight him he threw a banana peel on the floor. the dragon slipped and died. Manthaniel retrieves the protected search engine GOOGLE. he fuels his compass and finds his way back home. THE END.

Saad

2016-05-09 17:27:01 UTC

Every room is filled with zombies. I see Farhan getting choked by a zombie. I get scared so I take a water break . 10 minutes later, I go to the library. I see Kamalpreet but he got turned into a zombie. But he is still reading. I go to the office. I call the police. THEY comein 5 minutes later. They shoot the zombies with their guns. There is blood everywhere.I go outside and I AM SAFE!

Farhan

2016-05-09 17:27:13 UTC

Go do your work, your wasting you time down here
>:(

Anshika

2016-05-09 19:23:06 UTC

Before I even could tell everyone in the library to make a plan to do something and stay calm, I see everyone left me except T-juh. I stay calm, but I hear everyone scream right now in the school from the library. "What do I do"? I look behind and T-juh is screaming and crying while saying, "I just starting reading my book, I hate this world" . Meanwhile she is crying like a baby, I don't know what to do and her crying so loud that it attracts the zombies doesn't really help. I ask T-juh if she knew what to? She has no clue and says "we need help to get out of here". T-juh gives me a great idea. I think we need all the help I could get to get outside of the school. So I decided to get the team of evil but not so nice geniuses who had abandoned me and t-juh( I needed Manthaniel, Kamal, Saad, Farhan, Anyica, Guranchal, Redvinder and Mayank) . Mrs.Grasby could also work, but she was already a zombie, but apparently making scones which she was doing made her a happy zombie. Actually all the teachers had been turned into zombies. I thought if I had to go collect these evil geniuses, t-juh and me would need a disguise before the zombies could get to us.So told T-juh my plan and asked her how we could disguise our selves . This time(the first time in forever) she had a plan.She said"we could rip our clothes, mess up our face and walk like zombies so they think we are one them".I actually liked her plan so I did what ever as she said.In a couple of minutes we looked like zombies and walked like zombies, so we started our not so safe journey with only one pocketknife . We looked just like zombies so if we wanted we could have left the school,but me and T-juh didnt want to leave the evil but not so nice geniuses because after all some of them were our friends and others where just chromed robots that would one day take over the earth. First place me and T-juh decided to go to the music room first because we thought Guranchal would be there.The music room was not so far away from library so we got there and we saw Guranchal hiding behind the steel pan drums with a guitar in her hand.When we started to remove the drums to get to guranchal she thought we had been turned into zombies to, so she was about to smack us with the guitar,but we told her it was us and she believed us. We showed guranchal how to act like a zombie.Next we went to the gym because we wanted to see if we could find some one there. One then way we had to stab a zombie on the head to kill it because it came after guranchal since she started crying. After great search we found Manthaniel, Kamal, Saad, Farhan, and Anyica, who had survived from the zombies by hiding in the secret equipment room. We showed Manthaniel, Kamal, Saad, Farhan, and Anyica how to act like zombies and Saad picked up three skipping ropes from the equipment room. Finally we went of to search for Redvinder and Mayank. Finally we all were tired so we decided if we didnt find Redvinder and Mayank in Mrs.tuli's room because we looked every where else ,we would leave them here.On the way to Mrs.tuli's room Kamal started acting weird and Frahan noticed that he was bit by a zombie.So Saad took his three skipping ropes and choked Kamal the zombie to death. We reached Mrs.Tuli's room and saw that Redvinder and Mayank were at Mrs.tuli's desk eating not-a-kit-kats while stressing out. Guranchal asked where they had gotten the not-a-kit-kats and Redvinder said "I'm was always prepared for a Zombie APOCALYPSE!" Now that me and T-juh had collected everyone or mostly everyone because they had to kill kamal we decided to go out Mrs.Tuli's room's back door.Finally they had gotten out of the school and the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE was finished or was it?
(Remember what Mr.Hepworth said"there have been sitings of walking dead at Dunrakin, and Chicken and Tings",so probably by now there would have been zombies like....... everywhere).
To be continued......
What a not so great to be continued......

tu-juh

tchauhan214 — 2016-05-10 21:20:52 UTC

Zombie Apocalypse to be continued:
Tu-Juh: NOOOOOOOOOOO
What's happening, I was just about to start reading my book!!! This is so not fair, did you know I haven't been able to read for like 1 WHOLE MORNING!!!
Anshika: Seriously Tejaswini, right now we are like in the middle of a video-game like thing with real-life ZOMBIES AND YOUR READING?
Tu-juh: OK sorry I go emotional sometimes, alright people, what do we do?
Kamalpreet: Well according to my calculations the zombies have attacked everywhere, in the office, in Mr. Crichlow's room, in like.....EVERYWHERE!!!
Anycia: Well, there's go to be somewhere where they didn't 'attack'.
Farhan: Mr. Pestano's room?
Guranchal: (looks at the ceiling as if trying to grab some information with her invisible antenna) Ummm....he's already a zombie
Saad who is apparently very sad right now: Ms. Tuli ? Or Ms.Gill? or Ms. Malliaros ?
Guranchal: All of them are zombies
Anshika: How do you know all this?
Gur-gur (a.k.a = Guranchal) : Because I have stalking skills also known as ninja skills. So yeah......
REDvinder: There must be some place where they can't go..... any ideas?
Mayank: No, I don't have any ideas.
Anycia: Hmmmmm....... If I were a Zombie where would I NOT go?
Anshika: BATHROOM!!!!
Tu-juh: Yes!! Your a genious!!! Bathroom, I think we should go check out the bathrooms. (people give Tejaswini weird and disgusted looks) What? Just look at it, the bathroom is like the place alive people don't want to go because they are horrible, and zombies are dead...... they won't have to go pee or anything else. I'm not saying that the boys have to go with us, I mean unless your too scared, but the boys could go to the boys bathroom and the girls could go to the girls bathroom. But we'll need some method of communication in order to fulfil this mission. Any ideas?
Anshika: NO I ACTUALLY HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!
Tu-juh: Ok, ok, you can pee when we get there. But think what can we have for communication? The evil genius' do you have anything?
Kamal: Hmmm.... I think I have 2 to 5 cell phones in the secret pocket of my binder that I made myself. For more information contact Kamalpreet. Dude isn't my advertising just fabulous? I am thinking of becoming an advertiser when I grow up.
Tu-juh: If you can stay alive until you grow up then sure, otherwise right now I don't see you being an advertiser because apparently a zombie is right there on the entrance of the library door and has just bitten Ms.Tiwari!! Does anyone have anything like a knife or something?
Farhan: Yes I have 2 knives , 6 scissors, and 2 really sharp pens.
Tu-juh: Geez! Where did you get all of this stuff from? You do a lot of things Farhan.
Farhan: Well, I am evil. I do a lot of things, I laugh, I hate, I play games, but mostly I just steal.... or borrow things I mean.
Anshika: Well whatever, let's just...... ZOMBIE!!!!!!!!
* Everyone turns to see the zombie biting Tejaswini's koala
Tu-juh: KOALA!!!! MY DEAR KOALA!!! I'LL SAVE YOU BUDDY!!!!
Gur-Gur: Tejaswini!! come on let's go!!
Tu-juh: Ok Kamal, pass me the cellphones. Farty, opps, my bad I mean Farhan, pass me some of the not-so good weapons. Boys go to the boys bathroom, girls follow me. Come on and someone please kill this zombie.
Anycia: The pleasure is mine. (cuts of the zombie's head with the knife)
* Anycia, Tu-juh, Gur-gur and anshika go to the girls bathroom whereas the guys go to the boys bathroom. They find out that they were actually right, there were no zombies in the bathroom, but on the way they had to kill or make a lot of zombies 'unconscious' so they can get away. Even the prime minister of the school had turned into a zombie! But finally they made it to the bathrooms.
Anshika: Ok, the evil group, hello can you hear me? The evil group, come in evil group!
Saad : Yeah what is it? We made it. but apparently Mayan turned into a zombie what do I do?
Anshika: AHHHH!!! Oh my god!! Guranchal's a zombie !!!
******************************SPLASH!!!!!**************************************
* Tu-juh threw Gur-gur into the toilet and the water from the toilet cured her!!
Anshika: Yo Saad! The toilet water is the cure! That's why the zombies weren't coming in the bathrooms, but because rightnow we pulled Guranchal in she got cured because of the toilet water Or bathroom water to be exact!!
Farhan: Great! NOW I CAN DIE IN PEACE!! ARE YOU CRAZY? WHAT KIND OF A GREATLY DISGUSTING CURE IS THAT? Oh never mind Mayank is back! Yo Mayank dude what's up?
Anycia: Really? We need to figure out how to bring so much water out side that bathroom.
Tu-juh: OK I've got a plan. It's wild. but I might just work. You see how the bathroom tap pipe is below the sink right? If we just break the pipe, and turn the water on to full, and break the toilet pipe and overflow the bathroom and flood the whole school, then we can cure everyone! Then, we can worry about Dunrankin.
Kamalpreet: This is a very awkward plan but ok, worth a try.
All together: LET'S GO!!!!!
* Everybody starts breaking the pipes to the toilets and sinks so they would overflow and once the pipes were broken Tu-juh told everyone to turn on the water at full speed and flush as hard as you can. Everyone did it and all of a sudden huge amounts of water came rushing out of the grade 7 bathrooms and in the halls everyone was soaked with disgusting bathroom water. Ms. Grasby's kids run out to look at the great vandalism they just did and see a girl, who is not a zombie anymore wiping her tongue with her hands.
Tu-juh: What's wrong?
The Girl: OMG! Like I ate food from Chicken and Tings, and I felt so sick. OMG!! I'm going to vomit!!
*She runs to the girls bathroom and horrible noises come from inside.
Tu-juh: Oh my goodness it was in the food! The food of chicken and tings had a reaction or something to people that whoever ate it, and then they turned into a zombie, and then the zombies bit other people so the disease spread. I wonder what they put in it. Is it something in the chicken?
Anshika: Whatever, our job here is done, but now we need to go to Dunrankin.
Tu-juh : Oh Guranchal, Mayank and Anycia already have it covered. I'm pretty sure they'll do a great job soaking up the people of that school.
*Guranchal, Anycia and Mayank just come.
Anycia : You bet Tu-juh. All Dunrankin people are safe now, boy their pipes were already so broken we just had to knock them and BOOM!! Blast! Oh and look what I found, Mr.Koala! Who is not a zombie anymore!
Tu-juh: Oh Koala! I missed you so much! Well guys I think our job here is done, now let's party!!!!
Everyone : YAAAAA!!!!!!
Tu-juh: You didn't let me finish my sentence, let's partly AFTER WE CHANGE OUR CLOTHES AS WE ARE SOAKING WET!!
* And just like this that day ended. Everyone was safe and sound. But don't worry, Mr.Hayward wasn't the only one to clean up. The whole Chicken and Tings staff was called to clean both the schools. I mean it was there fault in the first place. After that they all lived happily ever after!!
The End :)

Task #2 Decide Where to Go

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-11 14:51:02 UTC

1. Watch the short clip.
2. a) Post one thing you learned. b) Then post some ideas you have about where you might want to go. We will return to this task in future. c)Then comment on someone's post.

Task 1 Cont'd

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-11 15:00:38 UTC

Take a copy of the school map. Based on the narrative Ms. Grasby told you try to pin point on the map where some of the zombies might be. No , she will not read the information again!

Using a coloured marker or highlighter mark the route you would take to get out of the school. IF there are any places where you would stop or hide mark those with a circle.

Take a picture of your map or scan it and post it on here. Include with it a short blurb explaining why you think your route is a good one.

Comment on someone else's work. (Maybe ask a question, point out a concern etc).

AnyciaD3HtHUg

2016-05-11 17:27:03 UTC

First, I stop by the water fountain at miss Meke's room to refill a bottle, and maintain a supply. Second, I head to the lunchroom, to get a small supply of food. Next, I quickly run and grab my bag, for storage. Next, I go around the school to the gym to grab, some kind of weapon. Finally, I leave towards Corliss.

Manthaniel

2016-05-11 17:30:02 UTC

Guranchal zombie story

2016-05-11 21:41:24 UTC

Today I just woke up and I came to school it was a normal school day until block 5 right after lunch.Weird things started occuring. First Mr.pestano vomiting randomly in the hallway ,Then Ms,Grasby not showing up for class.

Guranchal:I already checked her room shes not there and she is not picking up her phone either come on guys check with me. Anycia (asking hopelessly)
Anycia: Fine but only for five minutes.
Guranchal: Thank you !!!!!

We go to Ms. Grasbys room again. We open the door and we see blood on the ground

Guranchal: That blood how did it get there (sniffs the air). It smells like Ms.Grasby's very expensive perfume and she only ever sprays it ones. But it smells like the....
Both: Whole bottle (laugh).

They hear a muffled scream coming from the cabnet and screaming in the hallways. They run outside and they see someone limping, its that guy that no one talk's to.

Anycia: I think we should tell the others what is happening .
Guranchal: If you want to tell them then lets go now.

They run to the library and open the door. Everyone is screaming at the evil trio.

Guranchal: Guys listen (gets cut off)
REDvinder: What (slaps kamalpreet right across the face)
P.A.: there has been an outbreak (screaming) of zomb (groans)
Anshika: OMG I was nearly done my homework come onnnnnn.
Tejaswini: I think its safe to say that we should just get out of town, but first we need to get out of the school.
Mayank: Ok whats the plan(Everyone turns and looks at the evil trio)
Evil trio: (snickers and cackles) We got the answer what if we go through the grade six hallway and then run to corliss or the park.
Manthaniel: Are you crazy there are zombies in the grade six hallway. If we go to the park we have no wifi for my chroming.
Guranchal: What if we run to the gym close all the doors get rope from the supply closet. Then we go to the stage , go up the stairs and go onto the roof. Next we can use the ropee to get off of the school and run to corliss.
Tejaswini: What about a back up plan does anyone have anything.
REDvinder: Ok I know this might be crazy but, how about we dig a hole in the ground and then we get to the China.
Anshika: Do you know thats not true
REDvinder: What you just destroyed my dream of going to china without paying
Anycia: Anyways what is the plan.
Everyone: Ya tell us
Anshika: OK so first we get out of here by running threw Ms.Brubachers room and pick up any sharp items. Then we run to Ms. Lee's room and close the door pick up any other things that are hard and we leave threw her back door.
Mayank: Ok but what one are we going to choose. Raise your hands if you want to go through the gym. If you raised your hand go behind me. Ok this is good there is and even number of people, ok who do we have in each group.
Group Gym: Guranchal,Anycia,REDvinder,Manthaniel,Mayank
Group Music: Evil Trio(Saad,Farhan,Kamalpreet), Anshika,Tejaswini
Mayank: Now go
Guranchal: STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!(everyone looks at guranchal) Ok how are we going to communicate I have my phone with me Anshika I will text message you when we are on the roof.
Anshika: Ok.

GROUP GYM: So the adventure begins,First we run to the gym and we lock the doors we find a rope in the supply closet and some hard stuff we climb up on the ladder and we open the door. we look down and there not there yet I send a text message to Anshika she does not respond.

GROUP MUSIC: We ran into Ms. Brubacher's room and we find a gun. We run to Ms.Lee's room and we look under Ms.Lee's desk and we find Ms. Grasby she won't wake up and there are not any bite marks.
Anshika: Sh she she's gone lets go.
Farhan goes to Ms.Grasby and pokes her Ms.Grasby grabs him and she starts to deconstruct him.
Ms.Grasby: I'm laughing,i'm crying, I'm dieing.
They run outside and Ansika forgot her Ipad on the ground she grabs it before Ms. grasby came. She send's a message to Guranchal saying come help.

Guranchal: they responded come on lets go we have to get them.
they help GROUP MUSIC get onto the roof and they run all the way to Corliss one of the teachers drives them to a scientest lab.
They make a solution to zombiefication and they unzombiefy everyone.

THE END.

Anshika

2016-05-11 23:26:26 UTC

Anshika

2016-05-11 23:49:13 UTC

I would leave from the back door of the library. Then I would quickly run to Mr.Crichlow’s room. I would grab a few pairs of scissors in Mr.circhlow’s room and head towards Mr.majic’s room.From Mr.majic’s room I will leave the school from the back door in Mr.majics class and finally head to Corliss.I chose this plan because it’s fast and really easy.

AnyciaD3HtHUg

2016-05-12 21:47:20 UTC

Tejaswini

tchauhan214 — 2016-05-14 20:47:59 UTC

Voila!!! (See Manthaniael and Anycia Robot.... Je suis knows french... You're not the only ones....Wohaaaa!!!) Anyways... I'm sorry Ms.Grasby I uploaded this picture so late, but my computer couldn't upload the picture that day, then I forgot and I uploaded it today. Anyways, so here is my map thing. According to me First, I will escape from the back door of the library, Then I will run through the grade 7 hall and go to Mr.Heyward's room to get hammers and stuff so I can wack the zombies. Then I would just get out of the door in front of Mr.Heyward's room. I don't know what it's called but it's the grade 7 entrance I think. Anyways, I think this is a good and safe route to escape because they don't say anything about the zombies being on the hardtop of the grade 6 and 7 area. So I would just get out of that way and go home and read!!!

Tu-juh

tchauhan214 — 2016-05-14 20:59:32 UTC

There are zombies in front of the office and in front of the library... I don't mean to be rude but how can you take that route?

Tu-juh

tchauhan214 — 2016-05-16 22:53:48 UTC

One thing I learned from this video was that no matter where you move to, or no matter where you go, you need to know HOW to get there. Like it said in the video, if there were to be a zombie apocalypse, we couldn't be running around and just yelling, we would need to know where exactly we need to go and what options we have in order to get there. We would also need to know some of the positions where the zombies actually are, so while we go to our destination, we don't keep on running into them. This was the one thing I learned from this video.

May 19th!!! Revising

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-17 13:12:40 UTC

First, no, I have not been eaten by zombies...I came in yesterday to work during Junior Achievement. Disappointing I know.

Now, here is what I want of you all today. Read all of the narrative exerts on here, including my precious feedback.

Then I want you to choose someone else's exert to copy and then edit using all of the different tips and bits of feedback that I gave to help you improve it. You have the block to achieve this. Next week you will move on to the next survival task. Please post the revised stories over there.......>>>> in the area that I labelled!

Kamalpreet

austinben007 — 2016-05-17 16:55:34 UTC

Kamalpreet

austinben007 — 2016-05-17 17:02:50 UTC

As I reach for the lawn mower, I hear a zombie. Actually not a zombie, I hear a bunch of zombies. I look over and see a zombie Redvinder ( somehow the zombie Redvinder is actually red, odd), a zombie Farhan and zombie Saad. The zombie Saad apparently has no arms.

"We shall kill you, then we will eat your brain," moaned Farhan.

"Farty, stop it's me your friend , Kamalpreet, you know the first one-third of the evil trio ( emphasis on, the first)," I said, worried.

"But you killed us, now we will kill you," says no-arm zombie Saad, and then his head fell off too, so much for reviving the dead with our new resurrection device.
I have nothing to defend myself, my gun is out of bullets, I accidently didn't pick up light crystals for the lazer guns and the disintegrator ray was only a prototype so it's out of batteries.
"Eureka, I know what to do," I exclaimed.
I pull a book out of my pocket and start hitting the zombies in the head and they die. Well so much for that, now if I remember correctly, the evil trio did do a surgery on Saad, and left a bunch of tools in him ( that's why he's so big). Since he's a zombie I can open up him and take the tools. Well now I have the tools, it's time to recreate the lawnmower. After 3 minutes of tinkering it becomes the joker-bat-car. It has a quantum booster making it really fast, hope the battery can keep up.

Anshika

2016-05-17 17:03:18 UTC

I reach for the lawnmower and then suddenly ....... I feel someone breathe on my shoulder . I turn around and I see Guranchal and T-juh .

'WE NEED HELP," they scream.

I tell them to quiet down if they want to live.

They need my help. In a matter of time the zombies will come outside and it won't be safe. I need to think quick. I decide to let them hop on, in ~~returns~~ exchange for T-juh and Guranchal's help / tools.

"Thank you Anshika,"T-juh says.

'We don't need your help, I'm a level 4 stalker," Guranchal went on, "Joking, thank you."

"Come, hop on," I said.

I try to get on the lawnmower

"Ahhhhh!" something pinches me.

Guranchal and T-juh scream also.

"Why did you scream?"they ask.

I look in the lawnmower and it's a raccoon.Those nasty little creatures.

The raccoon looks at the hammer in T-juh's hand and runs away.

We get on the lawnmower and it's tight for all of us to fit in ,but it's a matter of life or death so we don't complain.

Tu-juh

2016-05-17 17:03:26 UTC

I reach for the lawnmower, and then suddenly, I hear Manthaniel yelling at me. He is screaming at the top of his lungs, because he used the same route as me, but I got here before him.

"Tu-Juh I want to go on the lawnmower, you can't take it from me."

I yell, "NO! EQAO is coming up and I want to go home and study and then get good grades. So go somewhere else."

"NO! Don't do this to me !!"

I laugh wickedly, "HA! Too bad! By the way you can just use that bicycle you know."

I point to this rusty looking bike that has half of its handle cut off.

Manthaniel frowns, "Really Tu-juh"

"Listen kid, a great person once said that something is better than nothing. So take this something and just save your life or die."

Manthaneil looks grateful. "Yeah, I think you are right. Anyways, thank you for the idea, at least."

"Your welcome!"

Mayank

665673 — 2016-05-17 17:03:28 UTC

I reached for the lawn mover and suddenly...

I started to hear a crying sound coming from the top.

Whaa whaa !

I took my steps to the top very slowly. Then there the mysterious voice was. IT WAS RAVINDER ! He was crying because the Zombie Apocalypse caused a lot of pollen to flow in the air and as we all know Ravinder is extremely allergic to pollen.

" Here take this mask, "

As soon as Ravinder put the mask on he stopped crying and sneezing.

" I was going to ride the lawn mower to Corliss to pick my brother up and ride the lawn mower home. " I told Ravinder.

" I had the exact same idea, well excluding the fact about picking up a sibling. "

" Okay, but quiet down you'll get the attention of the zombies and then we won't be going anywhere, "

" Fine, " Ravinder agreed in consideration of the fact.

" Thanks, and do you wanna come over to my house and play, "

" Sure I would love to "

" Okay then lets go, " Mayank exclaimed.

Wrmmmmm, the lawn mover was going at super speed!

" Bye Bye, Darcel Avenue Sr Public School, " we both yelled at the top of our lungs.

THE END
OR IS IT
TN DUN TN

Ravinder

2016-05-17 17:03:39 UTC

I reach for the lawnmower when suddenly I hear a voice.

"Brains"

I question myself if I am hearing a person or if it was my stomach. I go to where I think the voice is coming from.

"BRAINS!"

The moaning gets louder. I start to panic. I cautiously clench my M9 Bayonet and pounce around the corner. Where I see Manthaniel trying to teach a zombie how to chrome, but then the zombie dives in for a bite he manages to bite Manthaniel! I quickly jab my knife at side of the zombies head. It growls a little while falling to it's knees, then it falls completely. Then I look over to Manthaniel where I see him as a zombie. I ask if hes okay he dives at me. I dodge him. Then I trip over a rock. He jumps on me, he viciously starts slapping me relentlessly I had to stab him If I didn't I would have died. I ignore Zombie Manthaniel's dead corpseand go back to mowing the lawn.

THE END

Manthaniel

dalyjr1 — 2016-05-17 17:04:28 UTC

As I reach for the lawn mower suddenly I feel something breathing on my neck. I turn around and see a zombie standing right before my eyes. Before he can bite me I push him and grab the lawn mower. Pulling the string thing so it can go faster. It is on speed 1. The zombie approaches me looking angrier than ever. But the lawn mower speeds up and I roll him over. With the loud sound from the mower of the lawn zombies start coming out the front door of the school.

I hear screaming. Then I see a zombie running towards me.It jumps trying to land on my head. Luckily it misses and hits someone's car. That sucks for them. They wold have to take the Transit Bus, that is if they are still alive.

The zombies are getting closer while I am getting even more worried. Every step they take is one step closer to me. Using my dumb instincts I break into someone else's car. One with a button to start the engine. I am going to use everything my father taught. Unfortunately, I can't reach the gas pedal. I get out and run as fast as i can to my house. Once i get there I know I am safe.

For Now...

Farhan

2016-05-17 17:04:32 UTC

As I reach for the lawn mower, I suddenly feel a zombie touching my shoulder.
It was Kamalpreet. He was looking at me, like he was half zombie and half human, and begging for a cure.

Kamalpreet said, "Help... me... I don't want to.... ghraaa
(that was supposed to be zombie moaning)."

I said, "You will need to help me, before we run out of time."
I moved towards him and took his books. One of them was about zombie cures. The book said you need to have the zombie smell the horrible smell of fresh grass, but this will only work if the zombie is not 100% zombie yet. I took the lawn mower and started to cut the grass. Kamalpreet followed me and was sniffing the grass. He started to change... to more ZOMBIE. I turned up the speed, and put Kamalpreet on top of the lawn mower. He started to look... different, more human like, but there was something different about him. It was that he had scars all over his body, but he could live with it.

AnyciaD3Ht-Hug

2016-05-17 17:05:00 UTC

Someone grabs my shoulder.

"What do you want?"

It's Kashif.

"You were just gonna leave without looking for me?"

"I didn't know you were still alive."

" Of course I'm alive! I'm the greatest t-HUg that ever live, dem zombies can't handle this!"

"Ok sorry, I just thought that, based off of your running skills, it wasn't likely."

"I'm not your friend anymore."

"I can live with that, let's go."

Saad

2016-05-17 17:05:28 UTC

Feedback for Tu-Juh

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-17 17:50:29 UTC

careful not to repeat yourself. You tell me that you laugh wickedly, then you show me with your dialogue choose one or the other (showing is always better)>>>>

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-17 17:52:00 UTC

Don't switch tense>>>

Feedback for Anycia

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-17 17:58:54 UTC

Excellent dialogue. It moves quickly, is formatted properly and is believable. In future just try to incorporate a little of what your character (or you) might be seeing, feeling etc, to flush out detail.

Feedback for Farhan

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-17 18:00:03 UTC

Careful not to switch tenses. "I reach" is present tense and "It was" is past tense.

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-17 18:01:32 UTC

I fixed this line of dialogue for you,>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

for all others make sure they are their own paragraph. So add spaces between lines of dialogue and the rest of the text.

Feedback for Redvinder

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-17 18:04:54 UTC

This is good so far. When writing the dialogue you did a good job of making sure it is on it's separate line, but don't forget the punctuation. i.e., "Brrrraaaah!"

Feedback for Manthaniel

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-17 18:05:58 UTC

You seem to hate capitalizing your I's.... Remember to hit that little shift key and get those lower case i's to capitalize!

You have done a good job of building suspense. Your opening has just the right amount of detail that I can picture things, without there being SOOO much detail that it slows down my reading.

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-17 18:08:12 UTC

Be sure to start new paragraphs in your writing, when there is a new idea or new focus..I have corrected this for you.

Feedback for Saad

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-17 18:10:13 UTC

Funny. Good voice. Try to reword some of it to make it flow better/move faster i.e.,
"Move off the lawn," I scream.

He doesn't.

I jump to the ground and slap his face so hard.

Feedback for Kamal

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-18 18:19:23 UTC

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-18 18:20:42 UTC

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-18 18:23:15 UTC

Make sure to read the task and follow directions carefully. The only weapons you should have should be ones you could make or realistically find in school. I am evaluating your critical thinking.

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-18 18:24:53 UTC

Creative and evidence of a good effort put forth.

Feedback for Myank

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-18 18:25:27 UTC

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-18 18:26:24 UTC

Only use dialogue tags when really needed. You don't need to write "I told Ravinder" because we know it was you speaking...it is obvious based on what you are saying.

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-18 18:28:13 UTC

Work on details that SHOW what is happening. So instead of saying that he screamed...is he mad? if so, show that. He clenched his fists, his face flushed etc.

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-18 18:41:56 UTC

Here is an example of where dialogue tags are needed. In this whole exchange we can't tell who is speaking to whom.

Feedback for Anshika

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-18 18:43:04 UTC

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-18 18:43:29 UTC

In narrative writing it is always better to SHOW than it is to tell. This: I tell them to quiet down if they want to live.

Is telling.

Writing that same thing as dialogue is SHOWING. i.e.,

"Shhh," I hiss. "If you want to live you should probably shut your faces!"

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-18 18:47:01 UTC

Overall makes sense and is well written. Could do a little more to build suspense.

Dialogue Lesson

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-18 18:51:30 UTC

-When you format remember that dialogue should always be on it’s own line.

Ex.

I reach for the tractor when suddenly a voice calls to me.

“Don’t leave me.”

-Dialogue is also written like this:
"So do you think that means we are broken up now?"

Anycia frowned. "He just tried to eat your face."

OR

"He's supposed to be my boyfriend and he is totally all over Candace," pouted Sara.

Anycia said, "You do realize that he is eating her flesh?"

-This is a short narrative that only takes place on the school grounds before you leave. Just write the suspenseful exchange or moment that comes just as you are about to get on the tractor. We will share these in the last 10 minutes of class. Be sure to make it descriptive. What do you see, feel, hear?

May 19th Post Revised Stories Below

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-05-18 19:00:16 UTC

2016-05-19 17:04:10 UTC

Feedback for Kamal

2016-05-19 17:05:31 UTC

Also try to be more creative. Your story was a little boring.

Farhan

2016-05-19 17:06:30 UTC

As I reached for the lawn mower, I suddenly felt a zombie touching my shoulder.
It was Kamalpreet. He was looking at me, like he was half zombie and half human, and begging for a cure.

Kamalpreet said, "Help... me... I don't want to.... ghraaa
(that was supposed to be zombie moaning)."

I said, "You will need to help me, so I can help you, before we run out of time."

I moved towards him and took his books. One of them was about zombie cures. The book said you need to have the zombie smell the horrible smell of fresh grass, but this will only work if the zombie is not 100% zombie yet. I took the lawn mower and started to cut the grass. Kamalpreet followed me and was sniffing the grass. He started to change... to more ZOMBIE. I turned up the speed, and put Kamalpreet on top of the lawn mower. He started to look... different, more human like, but there was something different about him. It was that he had scars all over his body, but he could live with it.

AnyciaD3Ht-Hug ~Tu-juh's Edit

2016-05-19 17:09:37 UTC

I reach for the lawnmower, ~~and~~ then ~~suddenly~~ out of nowhere, I hear Manthaniel yelling at me. He's screaming at the top of his lungs, because he used the same route as me, but I got here before him.

"Tu-Juh I want to go on the lawnmower!~~, you can't take it from me.~~"

~~I yell,~~ "NO! EQAO is coming up and I want to go home and study! ~~and then get good grades. So go somewhere else.~~" I yell.

Manthaniel looks like he's about to explode in frustration, it's hilarious!

"NO! Don't do this to me!!" Manthaniel yells.

"HA! Too bad! ~~By the way you can just use that~~ But hey! You can take that bicycle, you know."

I point to this rusty looking bike that has half of its handle cut off.

~~Manthaniel frowns,~~ "Really Tu-juh?"

"Listen kid, a great person once said, that something is better than nothing. So take this something, and just save your life ~~or die~~."

~~Manthaneil~~ Manthaniel looks grateful. "Yeah, I ~~think~~ guess you're right. Thanks."

"~~Your~~ You're welcome!"

Tu-juh (Revised Anshika's Work)

2016-05-19 17:10:18 UTC

I reach for the lawnmower and then suddenly ....... I feel someone breathe on my shoulder. Is it a zombie? Is it an alien?
.
.
.
.
.
I turn around and I see
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Guranchal and T-juh. Well that wasn't expected.

'WE NEED HELP," they scream.

"Shh" I hiss, "If you want to live then you better SHUT UP!"

They need my help. In a matter of time the zombies will come outside and it won't be safe. I need to think quick. I decide to let them hop on, in exchange for T-juh and Guranchal's help / tools.

"Thank you Anshika, you are the best!" T-juh says.

'We don't need your help, I'm a level 4 stalker," Guranchal went on, "Joking, thank you."

"Come, hop on," I say

I try to get on the lawnmower

"Ahhhhh!" something pinches me.

Guranchal and T-juh scream also.

"Why did you scream?"they ask.

I look in the lawnmower and it's a raccoon. Those nasty little creatures.

The raccoon looks at the hammer in T-juh's hand and runs away.

We get on the lawnmower and it's tight for all of us to fit in ,but it's a matter of life or death so we don't complain and we just run off.

Anshika(Revised T-juh's work)

2016-05-19 17:10:36 UTC

I reach for the lawnmower, and then suddenly, I hear Manthaniel yelling at me. He is screaming at the top of his lungs, because he used the same route as me, but I got here before him.

"Tu-Juh I want to go on the lawnmower, you can't take it from me."

I yell, "NO! EQAO is coming up and I want to go home and study. I really want to get good grades other wise it will ruin my reputation . So go somewhere else."

"NO! Don't do this to me !!"

"HA, HA, HA! Too bad! By the way you can just use that bicycle you know."

I point to this rusty looking bike that has half of its handle cut off.

Manthaniel frowns and looks frustrated , "Really Tu-juh"

"Listen kid, a great person once said that something is better than nothing. So take this something and just save your life or die."

Manthaniel looks grateful. "Yeah, I think you are right. Anyways, thank you for the idea, at least."

"Your welcome!I know I'm a boss" .

Manthaniel Marking redvinder

dalyjr1 — 2016-05-19 17:12:49 UTC

I reach for the lawnmower when suddenly I hear a voice.

~~"Brrrraaaaaaaah"~~ brains

I question myself if I am hearing a person or if it was my stomach. I go to where I think the voice is coming from.

~~"BRAaaah!"~~ Brains!

The moaning gets louder. I start to panic. I cautiously clench my M9 Bayonet and pounce around the corner. Where I see Manthaniel trying to teach a zombie how to chrome, but then the zombie dives in for a bite but Manthaniel becomes a boss and throws his computer at it and says i showed him! I quickly respect him and all his glory. The zombie growls a little while falling to it's knees, then it falls completely. Then I look over to Manthaniel and see him chroming once again. then he dives at me and starts slapping me silly. he is mad that i didnt try to save him. i had to stab him with my finger or i would have died because he is so strong. I look over at him again and hope he doesn't try to poke me to death.

Farhan (ravinder)

2016-05-19 17:14:07 UTC

" I ask if he is okay, he dives at me"

"he viciously starts slapping me relentlessly, I had to stab him, if i didn't I would have I would have died."

Add your comma's or a period...

Feedback for Farhan

2016-05-19 17:16:39 UTC

Boring story come on do better than that

Saad marking red Farhan

2016-05-19 17:19:03 UTC

IN THE BEGINNING SENTENCE IT IS BASICALLY PAST TENSE. SO SECOND SENTENCE SHOULD BE "IT WAS KAMALPREET."

Kamalpreet barely revises Saad

austinben007 — 2016-05-19 17:19:59 UTC

I was going to the lawn mower peacefully as I was minding my own business and suddenly Kamalpreet was right in front of me reading a book.

I tell him, "Yo, can you move off the lawn?" He is still there moving on to his 137th chapter of his book.

"Move off the lawn!" I scream.

He doesn't.

I jump to the ground and slap his face so hard, my hand starts to burn.

"Do you mind?" he says.

I then moan, " I am trying to cut the grass. How am I supposed to do that if you are standing right in front of my way?!"

"No way I'm going to move away. I'm on the 137th chapter of my book, let me read it or else," he said, staring at me like he's going to shoot lazers out of his eyes.

"Fine then have it your way, I'm gonna tickle you till you get off," I tell him.

I start to tickle him, he starts laughing very hard, tears start coming out of his eyes a zombie from corlis hears him and starts coming this way, but Kamalpreet doesn't get off the lawn mower.

Then, Farhan comes with his gang of zombies as usual, to save the day. He says," Yo Kamalpreet, move off the lawn or else me and my zombies will eliminate you from this world."

Kamalpreet then has to choose between the book or his life. He is struggling to decide. " I pick my life. I think the book was more obvious, obviously. But how was I suppose to go to the library if I have no life? That was the only reason I chose my life."

Farhan and Kamalpreet both walk away. Farhan whispers very quietly," Yoh, Let's get 200 people to get on his lawn. That way, He'll never cut the lawn. MOAHAHAHAHA MOAHAHAHAHAH MOAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

THE END

Tu-juh (revised Anycia's work)

2016-05-19 17:23:14 UTC

Someone grabs my shoulder.

"What do you want?"

It's Kashif.

He looks at me with puppy eyes and says, "You were just gonna leave without looking for me?"

"I didn't know you were still alive."

He looks offensive "Of course I'm alive! I'm the greatest
t-HUg that ever live, dem zombies can't handle this!"

"Ok sorry, I just thought that, based off of your running skills, it wasn't likely."

"I'm not your friend anymore."

"I can live with that, let's go."

Saad revising "Kamalpreet barely revises Saad"

2016-05-19 17:24:03 UTC

1.First of all, please don't tickle me.
2. You spelled Corliss wrong.
3. I don't cry when someone crazy tickles me.
4. You can't catch me if you want to tickle me.

Narrative Assessment

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-06-08 10:15:52 UTC

It's day 5 of being holed up in your apartment hideaway and your resources are getting low. You've eaten your way through all the contents of the fridge and have finished most of the pantry.

You peer through the curtains of the balcony window. You see smoke rising from the tops of several rooftops across the way. A fire is spreading.
In the night you had watched a gang looting and breaking into those same houses. They were obviously trolling for the resources they would need to survive before heading out of Malton. So far they'd stayed clear of the Morning Star apartments, but that was in part because a small cluster of zombies were continuously circling the building.

You walk over to the radio and fiddle with it again, trying to hear something in the static. You fiddle with the antenna.

Crack!

"What the--"

You step toward the door and ....

Remember our success criteria for narrative
-show don't tell (use dialogue, describe what you see, feel etc)
-add detail what you see, feel etc.
-use adjectives
-format dialogue properly.

View and Discuss

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-06-10 15:17:25 UTC

Choose one prompt for our discussion...

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-06-10 15:18:00 UTC

What surprised me was...
Something that scares me is...
A belief my family has is...
In the video I noticed...
I wonder....
A question I have is...
The idea of keeping people in a zombie state reminds me of...
This clip reminds me of...

Success Criteria

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-06-10 15:20:49 UTC

1. Paste the different criteria that we have established for writing a good narrative. We will discuss in a moment.

Gaurav

2016-06-12 16:47:59 UTC

I don't know if this makes sense but....
Often I'm not in your class because my class is doing somethin

Gaurav

2016-06-12 16:50:11 UTC

I'm usually don't show up to your class because my teachers don't allow it. The two classes I have during this point are Mr.Rossi or Mrs.Bhatti, both of these teachers have outdoor entrances that I could escape out of and leave the rest of you to die.

BUT!
By the weird 1% chance I'm there then........

Step 1) I locate Nathaniel because he was too busy cloning his google chromes
he hadn't listened to the announcements.
Step 2) I grab him by the shoulder
Step 3) I notify him about the situation
Step 4) I tell him to follow me because the other students had left
Step 5) I quietly guide him to the STAFF ONLY entrance
Step 6) I check if any zombies are lurking in the hallway
Step 7) (Step 7 is a 50/50 chance thing so there is Step 7.5) If there are no zombies we would run for ours lives (literally)
Step 7.5) If there are zombies then I would sacrifice Nathaniel for the grater good
Step 8) Escape through one of the 5 fire escape doors (Fire escape doors? More like ZOMBIE ESCAPE DOORS! Aren't I right?) and notify police?

Gaurav's reply to "Tu-juh"?

2016-06-12 17:17:04 UTC

I really enjoyed your last point of you analyzed what was in the video and put it in your own words.

Gaurav

2016-06-12 17:18:55 UTC

I learned about pull and push factors and how they affect society. In the video they had explained, if there was an area with a lot of humans, zombies would be pulled to go to that area.
I think the best area is Alberta. Alberta is in the middle of Canada so it is an easy area where goods can be exported/imported. Also Alberta's landforms consists of a lot of prairies, which would help.

Saad

2016-06-16 16:59:44 UTC

There must be a problem. Grammar should make sense. Proper spelling. There is at least one main setting. All parts of story should be included. Interesting introduction.
Detailed paragraphs and sentences. At least one main character with lots of information behind him/her. Should use similes and metaphors. Use one tense.

Kamalpreet

austinben007 — 2016-06-16 17:00:02 UTC

I should have interesting story and well developed conflict. It should have many descriptive and juicy words that describe the setting so the readers can get a good feel of the setting. Also as written before the plot should be interesting and engaging so the reader does not fall asleep while reading it.
P.S. Ravioli tried to kind of copy my work.
#just kidding

Farhan / Fardy

farhanpanchbhaya — 2016-06-16 17:00:05 UTC

1. Detailed setting with descriptive words, instead of "The zombie was knocking of the front door", you should use "The rotten zombie was viciously pounding on the half broken front door"
2. The narrative should be interesting and make the reader want to read on, and not make them bored. If you get bored reading your own narrative, its boring... DEAL WITH IT >:D

REDvinder

2016-06-16 17:00:10 UTC

The story should have a very interesting hook to get the reader ''hyped'' about the story. Also, it should have very interesting/juicy details so you wont bore the reader to death. Descriptive words are key for narrative writing because again, you don't want to bore the reader to death. Also, the narrative should have proper grammer.

Guranchal

2016-06-16 17:01:33 UTC

Always double check your grammar and punctuation.

check for past tense and present tense.

check if your story makes sense.

Anshika

2016-06-16 17:02:48 UTC

a developed conflict

Anshika

2016-06-16 17:03:14 UTC

An interesting hook at he beginning

Anshika

2016-06-16 17:03:39 UTC

proper grammar

AnyciaD3Ht-HUg

2016-06-16 17:04:12 UTC

○ interesting story, that makes sense

○ developed characters

○ detailed to express emotion in the story

○ corrected grammar

○ spacing between lines for dialogue

○ more showing than telling

Anshika

2016-06-16 17:04:21 UTC

Interesting and detailed paragraphs

Anshika

2016-06-16 17:04:49 UTC

A solution

Anshika

2016-06-16 17:05:54 UTC

A developed main character

Anshika

2016-06-16 17:06:15 UTC

A well written setting

Anshika

2016-06-16 17:06:57 UTC

A interesting title

Anshika

2016-06-16 17:07:15 UTC

Well written events

Saad (Mark Friday)

2016-06-16 17:10:58 UTC

I stepped toward the door and it dropped! (This first line is so confusing, I can't picture it. Perhaps, I stepped toward the door. With another crash, it flew off of the hinges and fell right in front of me.) The door fell right in front of me and it also knocked me out as I passed out. (Did it fall in front of you or hit you? Watch that you choose language that gets your image across. Also, show don't tell ...i.e., A pain seared in my temple and then everything went black)

1 hour later, I woke up and saw Kamalpreet sitting on my bed, jumping up and down Screaming, "AAAAHHHH!
HELP! HELP!"

It really creeped me out especially the fact that he ate all my food! ~~Now I knew I had absolutely no food left.~~ (You don't need this line since you just said he ate all your food)

I said to him, "What are you doing here you wild rat!?"

He then replied, "I was eating my cheeseburger."

THAT'S IT! I then made my decision to move out of the apartment and as far as I ~~can~~ could from Kamalpreet. Then (Instead of continuing to write "then" over and over, start a new paragraph), Farhan who ~~lives~~ lived (Watch your changes in tense)in the room next to me started screaming as usual, "What is all this noisy? I am reporting you to the owner of this apartment. I cannot live next you and your fat friend. I'll see you after, with the zombies."

From that day, I was never seen again.

You demonstrated the ability to properly format dialogue. Watch changes in tense. Include more showing and be careful to choose language that best gets your ideas across. Level 3-

Farhan

farhanpanchbhaya — 2016-06-16 17:11:21 UTC

I stepped toward the door and I saw ("I saw" "I thought" etc this is all telling language rather than showing. Try: I stepped toward the door. Kamalpreet ran past me and into the house.) Kamalpreet run into the house. He never said anything. He took all the furniture and started to cover the door. (Show: He grabbed a chair and slid it across the floor. etc.) He turned around and saw me.

"What are you doing?" I said

"The zombies are coming, and No-Arm-Saad is leading them!"

He started to set up traps around the house and made me help him. The zombies were viciously pounding it (what "it?" the door? Right now the "it" sounds like you mean the traps) down. Boom! ... Boom!

"They will get in eventually." I said to him.

He went to the balcony, I grabbed the radio and followed him.
"Our only way out of here is to jump to the other balcony" He said (There should be a comma after balcony and He does not need a capital.)

Your dialogue , where you didn't use dialogue tags, was well written. Your story flowed and made sense. Work on showing more and telling less. Level 3

AnyciaD3Ht-HUg ~ Mark Friday

2016-06-16 17:11:33 UTC

BOOM!

The door bursts open in front of me, and hits me straight in the nose.

"Ow!"

It (specify which "it" you are referring too. ... The pain ) distracts me for a good couple of seconds, but whatever opened the door definetly isn't gonna help me. (if something opened the door that quickly your character would see the something...yet you have time to muse over what had opened the door. Maybe if you had written that you had blacked out for a moment or that when the tears from your eyes had cleared there was no one to be seen)

I recover quickly, grab some napkins for the bleeding, and jump off the balcony onto the matress I'd thrown down there days before, in the event that something like this happen. (This 'grabbing napkins' super slows down your writing. You started with great action. A loud noise, a door flying open, a little blood and then the action dissipates when your character is left thinking about who would have come in and getting napkins. Let her run with blood pooling down her face and into her mouth!! At the same time this is a well written sentence that does a good job of referencing your past writing)

I scan the area around the building, it's pretty much just an empty parking lot full of trash, the zombies must be at the front of the building. (Show don't tell what the area looks like i.e., loose sheets of paper and food wrappers are scattered on the ground) There isn't anything I need from that apartment, I keep all my stuff on me in case I need to make a quick get away.

Where to go now is the real question. Burning buildings? Not an option. School? No. New town? Might be the only option. I get on my way towards the next town, I know the directions just out of experience, but I also have a map in my backpack that I found in the apartment.

On the way I see a large group of zombies.

"Shoot."

Looks like it's my time to go a little faster...

You created a narrative that makes sense and flows. You started with a great sense of urgency and action, but it quickly dwindled. You showed that you understand how to correctly write dialogue and format a narrative from POV to tense. Work on showing and not telling. Level 3+

guranchal Mark friday

2016-06-16 17:11:36 UTC

I step towards the door and I can't believe what I am seeing It's(Watch your punctuation here. Either put a comma after 'seeing' and get rid of the capital I or put a period. a package who would send me a package when all of this ''stuff'' is happening. I take the ~~package~~ it and put it on my bed and leave it there I go to the pantry to look for food to eat (This is a run on sentence. This should be chopped into more than one sentence. i.e., I take it and put it on my bed. My stomach rumbles and I head to the pantry for something to eat, besides, I can always open it later).
Paper Scrunching
I grab a broom and walk to the bedroom carefully the package is moving I hit it with a broom (run on sentence).
WACK
It stops moving I open the package there are dead bugs (Punctuation).
Scream (This isn't formatted correct. Should be written like
"Ahhhh." the scream is dialogue and should be formatted as dialogue)
I clean the bugs off and I find a bomb and I throw it out the window (This is a lot of detail that is just glazed over. Finding a bomb should be presented as a bigger deal. I should get to at least see how your character is feeling about this)

Anshika

2016-06-16 17:11:37 UTC

I stepped toward the door.... and for a moment I stood there thinking: ( this is not formatted correctly. Get rid of the : and don't put what you were thinking in "" quotes unless you were saying that aloud. )

"Should I open the door?"

(Because this is first person the reader understands that all of this is coming from you and your perspective so try:

I stepped toward the door and for a moment I stood there. Should I open the door?)

I decided I needed to open the door since It could have been my family or my friends. I couldn't let them die out there.

I opened the door and I found a letter in front of my door step. (Careful not to write parts that don't add to the action...these two paragraphs all amount to...I needed to decide if I should open the door. I decided I should open the door. )

"To: Anshika Batta
From:Unknown",it stated on the fresh white envelope in black marker.

"Ahhhh",on the side of the envelope I saw a little drop of blood.

I knew it would have been stupid if I opened the envelope because of the blood. But stupid me still picked up the envelope and closed the door quickly ,but slowly (Awkward sentence).

I opened the letter while my heart beat grew to over 9000.

"Tu-tu gang is coming for you , watch out" , that is all the letter said.

To be continued....
\
Watch some formatting issues. Overall a narrative that made sense and flowed. Work in more showing and less telling.

Level 3-/3

REDvinder

2016-06-16 17:12:08 UTC

I step toward the door and-

Crack!

~~I am curious about the noise~~( Try: What is that noise? I crane my neck and strain to hear where it is coming from. It's probably from outside) ~~and I figure out that it's coming from outside.~~ I look through my hand made peep peephole where I see 2 people with weapons. I move backwards scared. (Good, the step back is a nice way to SHOW that you are scared or surprised)

"Hmmmm what do I do?"

I make a plan to escape. ( I will jump out the window with my backpack of supplies.

"What if they break the door down?!" (This thought should come before the plan to escape since it is probably the thought that caused you to decide to jump out of the window)

So I set up my oven trap which basically trips someone and makes them fall onto an oven. I jump out of the window with my kitchen knife in hand and I start to make a break for it

-You properly formatted your dialogue and wrote a short story that made sense. You kept one POV and consistently wrote in past tense. You should work on adding detail and taking the time to show rather than tell as this is what makes a piece grab the reader. Grade level:3

Kamal the vendor "I'm Not done don't mark this until next friday"

austinben007 — 2016-06-16 17:13:32 UTC

I step toward the door and-

Crack!

-The sound came again. I looked through the peephole of the door and there was a guy with a phone and a baseball bat.

"Aha, I knew someone was (was what?) , I also knew this sound would make you come out." (But he didn't come out, he just looked through the peephole, either this is a typo or this guy is meant to be a moron)

I had no idea what was happening I didn't even open the door! This man has really good eyesight. I had to leave, this guy was from the gang! I packed whatever rations, tools and devices I could in the backpack I had. (You need to work on showing what is happening and not telling, this will help to set the mood for your writing, creating tension and make your work something that the reader can visualize)

Boom!

I looked at the door it had a crack in it, the gang must have came (Tense, come) back with

You demonstrated the ability to format dialogue. Your piece was incomplete and what was there lacked any real detail. You need to work on showing and not telling. Careful of issues with tense. Level 2+

Farhan

farhanpanchbhaya — 2016-06-16 17:31:17 UTC

don't mark today please

countinued

2016-06-16 20:09:45 UTC

What do I do now I look at my bed and there is a letter signed buttchin gung.
"I can't believe it there still alive but how did they know I was hiding out in this apartment "
The letter say's:
Thank you so much for your stalking skills and all of your help we have survived and that is also how we found you were still alive open your door in 5 seconds 5 4 3 2 1.
Knock Knock
I slowly walk over to the door look in the peephole and I see Kinjal and Anshika standing there with guns and food in there backpack. I clean all of the tooth picks from the ground and I open the door to let them in after a few hours I am restocked with food and supplies and they teach me new ways to defend my self.
To be continued....

A good effort and for the most part a narrative that made sense and was sequential. Issues with grammar and punctuation and formatting were distracting when I was reading. Level 2+

6/23/2016

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-06-23 15:59:56 UTC

NAME / ANNOUNCEMENT
Full name of the deceased, including nickname, if any
Age at death
Residence (for example, the name of the city) at death
Day and date of death (remember to include the year)
Place of death
Cause of death
LIFE
Date of birth
Place of birth
Names of parents
Childhood: siblings, stories, schools, friends
Marriage(s): date of, place, name of spouse
Education: school, college, university and other
Designations, awards, and other recognition
Employment: jobs, activities, stories, colleagues, satisfactions, promotions, union activities, frustrations

Places of residence
Hobbies, sports, interests, activities, and other enjoyment
Charitable, religious, fraternal, political, and other affiliations; positions held
Achievements
Disappointments
Unusual attributes, humor, other stories

Survived by (and place of residence):
Friends
Pets (if appropriate)
Predeceased by (and date of death):
Spouse
Quotation or poem
Three words that sum up the life

Ms. Rachel Grasby

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-06-23 16:07:11 UTC

Ms. Rachel Amanda Grasby died on June 16th, 2016 at 2:30pm at the age of 33, after being attacked by a swarm of agitated zombies. Mashed in the head with an Encyclopedia to "put her out of her misery" by former student and zombie survivalist Kamalpreet S, she succumbed to her injuries and died almost instantly.

She is survived by her three children Ella, Charisma and Lincoln and her pet pig, Pork and Beans.

A teacher for 10 years, and famous in the Chroming circuit, her presence will be greatly missed.

Rachel Grasby had also spent time surving in the Military (Military is the name of a coffee shop, she didn't serve in the actual military because "eww camo gear and waking up early").

....etc.



Final Task-Obit Assignment

Ms_Mainguy — 2016-06-23 16:45:23 UTC

We have covered the immediate incidences in the zombie apocalypse, now it is time for you to image how you meet your end and to write an obituary honoring your life.

The funeral will be
held Monday during block 5. Come prepared to speak. You will each read someone else's obit.

Farhan (Dead) :(

farhanpanchbhaya — 2016-06-23 17:07:46 UTC

Farhan Panchbhaya died on June 22nd, 2016 at 3:10am at the age of 12 by a single zombie hidden in the closet. After being bitten, the zombie threw out the body from the balcony. He was killed in Malton, where he spent most of his life. He was born in Toronto, Canada on 2004 04 12. He used to play alot of sports, mostly hockey and soccer. He owned 2 pet birds

Dead REDvinder :(

2016-06-23 17:08:03 UTC

Saad

2016-06-23 17:10:34 UTC

Saad Rizvi died on Friday,
May 13, 2010 at the age of 22 at 5:00pm at Corliss , after being attacked by powerful zombies in an apocalypse. His head was cracked open and eaten by the zombies.

He spent his life at Malton, Canada. Some of the most important things he accomplished were becoming the fastest person to run 5000m (2.56 seconds

MS. Guranchal Gill

gillguranchal — 2016-06-23 17:14:47 UTC

Ms. Guranchal Gill (A.K.A level 4 stalker)
died on August 18th, 2019 at 4:37am at the age of 15.
She died after being hit by a zombie driving a car on her birthday.
Died in Mississauga/

Kamalpreet

austinben007 — 2016-06-23 17:15:27 UTC

Kamalpreet died Sunday, October 1st, 2079 at the age of 75 while at his city of Kamalton, he died from a gigantic log.

He was helping to build the new houses in sector 12 when an unstable house toppled over, one of the logs fell on him and crushed him to pieces.
we decided that the log was cursed as it has killed such a great person, so we burned it.

Kamalpreet was born on Saturday, May 15, 2004 to Kulwinder Singh and Davinder Kaur. We hope that he has a very happy afterlife and rejoins his parents who died all the way back in the zombie apocalypse.

Kamalpreet was one of the only survivors of the zombie apocalypse. The apocalypse started on Wednesday, June 1st, 2016 and ended 2 years and 34 days later on Tuesday, July 3rd, 2018. Through this time Kamalpreet survived by using extreme survival skills as well as pure logic.

Even though the evil trio was broken apart during the zombie apocalypse because the other 2 thirds became zombies their legacy for world domination has lived all through this time.

I believe the city will prosper and continue to live on (probably not as good as when Kamalpreet was here though) due to the foundation that Kamalpreet has provided for our people.

In the end I would like to commemorate Kamalpreet for his intelligence, survival tactics, logic and calmness in the face of pressure, for it was these skills of his that are allowing us to thrive and survive today, almost 61 years later.

                                                    R.I.P Kamalpreet

Ravinder (REDvinder)

2016-06-23 17:18:22 UTC

Ravinder Gill also known as REDvinder by his classmates.

M

2016-06-23 21:44:24 UTC

Ms. Guranchal Gill

2016-06-23 21:44:24 UTC

Ms. Guranchal kaur Gill
(A.K.A level 4 stalker,anchu Manchu.) She was only 15 she was born in Brampton and died in the residence of Malton. She died on August 18th 2019 at 2:24 pm.

She died in front of her apartment building trying to find ingredients for her birthday cake. She walked upon the road and was immediately hit by a zombie driving a car.

Guranchal was born on August 18th 2004 at 2:24 pm the same day and time she died. She was born in
William Osler Brampton Memorial hospital, the original version of this hospital had been hit by a wrecking ball. Parents names are Mom Amritpal Kaur Sidhu and Dad Gurmeet gill
Her siblings are half sister Ravleen and Half brother's Rajveer and Gurshan.
When Guranchal was a little girl she always use to make breakfast for her Mom in the morning ,one day she did not go to the bathroom in the morning and she made her mom cereal. She slowly walked up the stairs and she told her mom to open the door but she said I can't . Then Guranchal started to scream and said open it i am going to pee and her mom quickly ran to the door and opened it and took the cereal bowl from her and Guranchal peed her pants. Guranchal first went to James potter Elementary, next Tecumseh elementary, after springdale elementary, then corliss elementary lastly darcel secondary she was going to move on to mayfield but then the zombie apocalypse started.
She had won an award for professional skating and an overall award for music.
A few of her close friends were Jasleen,Anshika,Bandna,Kinjal,Simrat,Harvin,Ololade,and Cassandra.

If only the world did not have zombie's, she would have wanted to be vet or a computer engineer and work for google.
Guranchal had participated in ballet as a young kid and was a professional ice skater and loved hockey she would always love to make a musical.ly in her spare time.

Guranchal had never achieved her dream it was to skydive or at the least meet ariana grande this was her idol.
The only thing she did achieve was making her teachers and friends happy.

She is survived by her two friends Kinjal and Anshika and her 2 birds tweetie and sweetie

Guranchal continued

2016-06-25 01:57:13 UTC

A quote for her death : she survived because the fire inside her burned brighter than the fire burning around her.

a few words about her would be
Stalker, psychotic, and fun

RIP

Tejaswini

tchauhan214 — 2016-06-25 16:58:42 UTC

Ms.Tejaswini Chauhan, commonly known as Tu-juh, died on May 22, 2014 at 1:01am, at the age of 11. She died at the city library in Malton after being attacked by a disturbed zombie. She tried to protect herself but she was bitten mercilessly on top of the head by the same zombie named Anycia R, her injuries were so severe she lost the battle between life and death and died on the spot.

She was the daughter of Mrs.Manisha and Mr. Kamal Chauhan. She was born in India, on 23rd May 2004 and later on came to Canada. She had one brother named Samraat, 1 pet horse named Hotdog, 3 pet dogs named Danny, Hunter and Moti, and 3 invisible friends named Ojha, Buddha and Billy. Tejaswini loved her family a lot.

In school she had a lot of friends and was very nice to people, most of the teachers liked her. She loved participating in clubs and other things around the school. Amongst the vast categories of subjects, her least favorite subject had always been Gym. No Matter what she did, she always got a B+ at it. But that didn't stop her from trying. Ms.Tejaswini was always a very diligent working student, she was responsible, enthusiastic, caring and respectful. In her school years, she got the "OPC" award at her graduation for grade 5. Other than that she got an award for Caring, being Empathetic, being Inclusive, she also got the music award and the academic achievement award. Tejaswini always wanted to be like her teachers, all of them were very nice, caring, and would always understand what people go through. Her teachers were her true idols. Since she died early, this was pretty much all her school life.

Usually, a lot of things would frustrate her, but in all those frustrations, the one thing that got the volcanic madness erupt inside her was one question that she always wondered, "Why are kids in her class so annoying?" She used to hate how one kid does something stupid, but then the whole class gets a detention. Just because if this she had gotten 5 class detentions.

Ms.Tejaswini loved to read, she loved ghost stories and was fascinated by the world of the supernatural. She was famous and was known all over the land for writing a lot of paragraphs. She also loved to do crafts, she loved to talk and lastly, she loved to eat chocolate ice-cream.

She wasn't really the 'funny' type of person, she would go crazy and hyper sometimes and people would think it was funny, but she knew that she just needed to get all that extra energy out. Even though she was usually pretty normal, there were times when she would act a little possessed. Well, she wasn't actually 'possessed' it's just that when she went hyper she would start jumping around, or laughing on the weirdest things ever.

Some of her really close friends include: Amrit, Khushvir, Jessica, Anshika, Guranchal and obviously, her 3 invisible friends, Ojha, Buddha and Billy.

Tejaswini always used to say, "Never be kind to those who don't deserve it, because even though a snake can shed its skin, it's still a snake from the inside and no one change that." Her paragraphs and long speeches will be dearly missed. Any 3 words that I can say for her would be Live, Love and Laugh.

RIP

redvinder by kamalpreet

austinben007 — 2016-06-26 15:25:45 UTC

has not yet written anything else.

Anshika

2016-06-26 18:34:08 UTC

Ms. Anshika Batta A.K.A. the rising star, died on July 15th, 2017 at 3:10 pm at the age of 13, by tragically dyeing on her birthday in Malton, Mississauga.

She died because she foolishly let three of her best friends: Guranchal, Kinjal and Bandna (BTW: who were zombies) come in her apartment as they wanted to wish her a very happy birthday. But instead of bring her gifts and a cake, Anshika had herself became the birthday cake for the zombies and her brain as their gift. She died right in her apartment, and even though she was dyeing she did not lose her optimistic self.
Her last few words were, “At least I’m dying with my true best friends and if I’m helping my friends, then I’m truly very happy”.

She was the daughter of Mr.Himanshu and Anshu Batta. She was born in Mississauga, Canada on Thursday July 15th, 2004. On that majestic day a beautiful baby girl was born in the old Brampton hospital which is now taken over by zombie doctors and nurses. She was born into a Hindu family, that was pure vegetarian ,which meant she never ate meat or egg. She had 2 siblings, her oldest sister Jessica Batta and her older brother Jayant Batta. She also had amazing grandparents. She loved her family a lot and so did they.

Before dying she went to Darcel Secondary Public school and ended of her school life in grade 6. She had many great friends including Guranchal, Anycia, Kinjal, Bandna, Sneha, Ummenhani, T-juh and many more. She was loved by many teachers and had good grades. She loved all the subjects, but her 3 main favourite subjects were Math, Science and Gym. She graduated grade 5 from Corliss Public School and got the Principal’s award at her graduation assembly. Other than that she had many awards. Including 1 gold dodgeball trophy ,1 gold soccer medal, and 1 gold basketball medal. Anshika always dreamed of becoming a lawyer or doctor when she grew up because she wanted to help people, but this didn’t happen since this was all her time in school.

She was always really a happy girl, but one thing that really frustrated her was how some people didn’t listen or how they didn’t put their full effort in their work. For example, she hated it when she had to do group work and her group didn’t put their best efforts in the work.

Anshika loved sports and was good at them, specially soccer and swimming. She was an expert in swimming because she used to swim in the Malton pool and passed all the levels, which meant if she lived till 16 she would have become a life guard. Anshika loved spending time with her family and friends. Some of her favourite hobbies were making rainbow loom bracelets, watching T.V(specially Harry Potter movies), dancing, and writing journals. She loved helping others and meeting new people. Finally, she loved playing with little kids.

She wasn’t really funny, but she understood humor and loved laughing and smiling. If she started laughing truly from her heart she didn’t stop until her stomach started hurting. Sometimes when she saw others laugh she started laughing for no reason. She was loved by many people and was really kind to many. Someone had to get on her nerves for her to get mad.

She survived by her family, her friends and her cousin’s dog: Sophie. We hope Anshika has a peaceful after life and can reunite with her long lost family and friends. Anshika loved the quote, “Live today, so that yesterday gets jealous” and “If someone were to die today, then would you be happy with the last conversation you had with them”. Three words that I can say for her are Imagine, Believe and Achieve.

RIP Anshika

Guranchal

2016-06-26 19:35:09 UTC

Redvinder write something

Ravinder Gill

2016-06-27 01:00:14 UTC

Ravinder Gill also known as REDvinder and Ravioli by his classmates, died August 14 11:59 am at the age of 13. Ravinder died by being decapitated by his older cousin and expert survivalist Sirtaj. Sirtaj was mad at Ravinder because he stole $20 from his wallet 5 years back. So to get revenge he decapitated him.

Ravinder was born on August 15, 2004 at 12:15 pm. He was born in the William Osler Brampton Memorial hospital. The hospital was still standing till this day mostly because no one wants to go in a creepy hospital in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. Parents names are dad Kuldeep Singh Gill and mom Sarbjit Kaur Dhaliwal.

His siblings are Jaspreet Gill.

Ravinder was the only one from all of his friends to survive this long in the zombie apocalypse. The rest just died in stupid way like trying to teach a zombie how to chrome.

The schools Ravinder went to were: Lancaster Public School, Brandongate Public School and Darcel Senior Public School.

His friends were: Zaryan, Manan, Ajay, Abrar, Harkuran, Eisaar, Kamalpreet, Mayank, Rajiv and Manraj.

In Mrs. Tuli's class Ravinder won the Student of the Month Award and the Academics Award.

If the zombie apocalypse didn't happen Ravinder wanted to become a professional accountant. In the winter Ravinder would go skating every Friday. In his spare time he would do unfinished chores, play video games or go to the park with his friends and stay there for 3 hours straight.

Ravinder never achieved his dream, it was become a professional accountant and meet Bill Gates.

He was survived by his pet dog Flash and by his cousin Sirtaj.

3 Words to sum him up are: Courageous, Smart and Foolish.

R.I.P Ravinder

Ms_Mainguy — 2019-01-08 00:33:27 UTC

Meet Ms. Grasby online for the set time. Post comments, questions, reflections and engage in conversation with the teacher.