https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2022-10-21 17:27:33 UTC 2023-06-14 21:22:11 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet-uploads.storage.googleapis.com/1858945999/d551a14b1a6ff3bbfb6ed10efe88502c/D6D818DE_445A_413A_8D57_EED8C8530A4D.jpg 29mgibki https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck/wish/2355521762 I think a strength in his memoir was his thoughts. He showed what he was thinking and how nervous he was at the time. Another strength is that he described how nervous he was. When he stopped holding onto the wheel he said “I could feel the sweat on my hands as I took them off.” Something he could work on is making it easier for the reader. Sometimes throughout the piece I didn't know what he was talking about or what he meant.]]> 2022-10-25 14:10:16 UTC https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck/wish/2355521762 29tprizgar https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck/wish/2355624980 2022-10-25 15:05:17 UTC https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck/wish/2355624980 29tprizgar https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck/wish/2403804243 A strength in your story “The return of light”. I really like the length of your story. It has a very descriptive storyline. I especially liked when you described the smell and the feel of the closet. it makes your story pop and come to life. It’s not just that part either it's also when you described what it was like when you hit the closet. Even though this was fiction you described it like you lived it and you were there. I also really like how much emotion that this character shows over missing the sun. In the end I was surprised that she only asked questions and didn’t scream at them. SPACING whenever somebody new is talking you make a new paragraph. Also towards the beginning of your story you said Stuff like… I personally feel like that you could use a better word than stuff

]]> 2022-11-30 16:08:06 UTC https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck/wish/2403804243 https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck/wish/2486445053 A strength in your essay “Let Them Stay” was in the introduction paragraph when you were describing the kid. I liked how you said he ran right into his door as if he was a battering ram. It shows just how hard he ran into his door. Another thing I liked was the questions at the end of the paragraph because others reading the paragraph might also be wondering that so it lets them know you will answer that as you put it in your essay. One wish is for you to add in your ending paragraph what might happen if video games aren't allowed. This would make it stronger as it shows the negatives like kids failing school which parents don't want to happen.]]> 2023-02-17 15:11:42 UTC https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck/wish/2486445053 29tprizgar https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck/wish/2489908213 Hola, Jack, something that I liked in your story “Let Them Stay” was how much you wrote in your body paragraph anecdote. I enjoyed it because it not only is convincing but also creates an extremely detailed story, as I was reading I was intrigued about how much of a story is being written for a persuasive paragraph. Something else I liked was all of your second fees paragraph, because it's true I feel so much better when I’m playing video games with my friends and family rather than just sitting around doing nothing.One thing that bothered me was in your first body paragraph I can’t find where the quote starts, I see where it ends but you should probably edit it so it can be a full quote. 

]]> 2023-02-21 15:52:02 UTC https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck/wish/2489908213 29mgibki https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck/wish/2523640429 One thing you did well was your 1st explanation. You explained how the evidence connected to your claim and you were very descriptive. Another thing you did well was your sum up. You said the theme in a descriptive way and made it easy to understand without repeating the claim. One thing to work on is your spacing. I noticed throughout your paragraph there would be times where you didn't put a space after a period.]]> 2023-03-20 14:10:09 UTC https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck/wish/2523640429 29dsanchez https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck/wish/2525817517 In your Pixar short paragraph, The White Coat, I liked how you added metaphors in your piece, like “the sheep’s friendship is tested.” These really spiced up the paragraph. Another star I have is that your claim was very good. The transition words were great. A wish I have for you is that you forgot to add a space in between the period and the new sentence (mainly in the transition words).]]> 2023-03-21 17:36:29 UTC https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck/wish/2525817517 https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck/wish/2525822892 Hi Jack! One thing I found intriguing about you piece was your transition in the first evidence. I thought your transition from non quotations to quotations very good as you said “the main character “the sheep” etc. I thought this was good because it bled right into the evidence but it gave you the info stated before the evidence presented. Another thing I noticed that was great is when in your second explanation you said that people should be accepted and loved no matter what, which directly connected to the evidence above which stated the most remembered line in Boundin,’ “Pink? Pink? What’s wrong with pink, whether it pink, purple, or heliotrope” and I thought that was magnificent the way you direct;y connected it with different wording and in a way the reader enjoyed it. I didn’t find a wish, the piece was well written by you the writer and me the reader enjoyed it as a great story for anyone to enjoy. I feel Ms. Whichard should use this as a example because its so good. Amazing job Jack!]]> 2023-03-21 17:39:22 UTC https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck/wish/2525822892 29mgibki https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck/wish/2533167421 One thing I liked about your timed paragraph was your sum up. I liked it when you used “Bullying/Harassment” as it shows that neither of them are good and bullying isn't the only problem. I also liked the transitions you used. I really like when you say “To explain in more detail…” It makes you sound like you have studied thousands of short videos and you really know what you are talking about. One thing to work on is your claim. In your claim it says “Undoubtedly, the Pixar short, 'For The Birds' shows the theme that people shouldn't bully/judge a person…” Instead of saying “shows the theme” I would say something like “The pixar short for the birds states a very important theme about…” It makes the theme sound so much more important and I think it would help.]]> 2023-03-27 14:07:20 UTC https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck/wish/2533167421 29dsanchez https://padlet.com/29jrichie/75aneuo3nl85i2ck/wish/2623777708 Hello Jack! A star I have for you is that the bullet points in your slide were simple but good. Another star I have is that on your history slide, your put all the events in chronological order which made the slide easier to understand. A wish I have is that you could’ve made the slides look a little less bland. Maybe change the fonts or add more pictures. 

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