https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade Enjoy! en-us 2017-06-22 15:36:39 UTC 2018-03-02 16:00:16 UTC hello@padlet.com Nemma https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/227117660 You did a really great job with your piece! I really liked all of the details that you added about how you felt when you were hiding. I also like how you included some dialogue which isn'timany pieces! One thing I would suggest for next time would be to maybe]]> 2018-02-01 16:09:58 UTC https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/227117660 23azhu https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/227277323 I think you and your group did a really good job on your presentation and your proposal and your idea is realistic and origanal. One thing is that you might have done better if you explained a little more about your product in your slides, but overall, its great!]]> 2018-02-01 20:41:46 UTC https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/227277323 23sshawkan https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/236984489 I love the hook you made and how you caught my attention in your writing piece. I also loved how you used GREAT word choice and strong citations from the sources. Next time, try not to make the paragraphs huge blobs and add some spacing. Overall... GREAT JOB!!!!!!!]]> 2018-03-01 15:55:44 UTC https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/236984489 23mfela https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/236984544 I enjoyed how you brought in the reader during the hook with a statement, but sadly you failed to keep me hooked in during the bridge. Although the bridge is supposed to be informing and you keeping me hooked in is something that you really shouldn't be doing this amount into the story, I think you shold still be having things that keep the reader in your essay! Something else I liked while reading your eassay was your use of high level words such as "comparison" and "contrast" throughout your essay. It really shows the reader and lures them in when you use such words. But remember to try and keep them throughout all of your essay making sure you keep that initial drawing in. Something I think you could improve on is you said "Student" 20 times in your essay! Try and use other words such as "Kids" or "College Athletes"!]]> 2018-03-01 15:55:48 UTC https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/236984544 23azhu https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/236986795 I like your hook because it kept me reading also the statistic about how 95% of collage athletes have admitted to cheating. Also I liked your second warrant because it was nice and long, but it didn't drag on and explained your data nicely. But, one thing that I would try to fix is to limit the use of the same words, and some of the same transitions(you used "To show" in both of  your warrants). Overall, NICE!!!]]> 2018-03-01 15:58:49 UTC https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/236986795 23dpatel1 https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/237289648 Hey Carter! I really liked your essay! One thing I liked was your warrants: they explained the data very well. I also liked your bridge. It was very descriptive and helped me figure out the connection between the hook, which was awesome, and the thesis. One thing I would change is to make the call to action a little more of telling them to take action rather than asking them if they want this to happen. Overall, I thought it was great!]]> 2018-03-02 06:15:25 UTC https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/237289648 23rbhatia https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/237445982 Hi, Carter! Your essay was eye opening! The first thing I liked was your entire into: it was very clear, and I liked the use of the "did you know", and then the statistic. A lot of people kind of throw in the facts, but yours blended in smoothly. In the intro, I liked how you explained the authors views, so you had a little bit of background knowledge, before beginning to read the body paragraphs. I also liked your zinger: ending off with a question is a great way to leave readers thinking. It did for me, too. One thing you might look at next time is just how much info you put into your intro. Too much detail might give too much away, and you might not want to keep reading. But apart from just a couple flaws, your essay was pretty amazing, clear, and concise. It gives you plenty of information, but not an overload of it! You keep readers attention throughout. ]]> 2018-03-02 15:33:31 UTC https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/237445982 23msilva https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/237447706 Hi Carter! To begin, one thing I liked while reading was that you imediately changed your reader's minds by saying, "This is not true" this is a bold statement and catches the reader's attention making them want to learn about the topic even more.  Another thing I liked was that you provided facts to show the reality and seriousness of the problem.  One quote I found particularly interesting was, "Did you know that 95% of athletes admitted to cheating?" this was surprising and helps the reader see whats going on behind the scenes of the college athletes lives. Your essay was very good, however, next time be mindful of how much data is in your intro. This can sometimes give away too much info. Otherwise, great job!]]> 2018-03-02 15:36:07 UTC https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/237447706 23lherb https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/237447839 Hi Carter! Your essay was amazing! One major star was your introduction. It was great! You used amazing statistics like, "Did you know that 95% of athletes admitted to cheating?" Another star was your warrants, they were filled with details. One wish I had was that I wish you varied your word choice because I noticed you used the word GPA an excessive amount of times, which is okay because there probably are not many synonyms for it. ]]> 2018-03-02 15:36:20 UTC https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/237447839 23alesser https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/237448361 Hi Carter, I have just read your essay and it was fabulous. One thing that you did really well on was the bridge. It really connected the hook to the thesis while it had a good flow to it. I also think that you had an amazing zinger. It really left me thinking about how bad cheating is and that people let cheating happen even though they shouldn't. One wish I have is that you used more transition words when going from idea to idea. Other than that, the piece was marvelous.]]> 2018-03-02 15:37:09 UTC https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/237448361 23amach https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/237453172 Hey Carter! I really enjoyed reading your essay about athlete students cheating in college.One thing I liked was your introduction paragraph because I feel like everything flowed nicely. The bridge connected the hook and thesis well and I think you did a good job on explaining the cheating situation. In addition, the compound and complex sentences you added in your essay really added to the overall effect of your essay. One wish I have is to include more transition words or phrases in your piece so the body paragraphs flow nicely. Overall, great job.]]> 2018-03-02 15:44:45 UTC https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/237453172 23hchan https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/237455302 While reading your essay I really enjoyed how you presented data that clearly compared and contrasted the two schools, they showed me exactly how they were different and why, another thing I enjoyed was you zinger, I love how you left the reader thinking with a question, encouraging them to take a stand and do something about the issue. One wish I have is that during your bridge I was a little confused, I feel like your sentences jumped around a little. All in all I really enjoyed reading your piece!]]> 2018-03-02 15:47:51 UTC https://padlet.com/23cfallon/padlet_7th_grade/wish/237455302