https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j How common is abuse in relationships? en-us 2018-10-03 03:11:00 UTC 2018-12-02 21:06:34 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/icons/Hearts.png hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/288440845 There are six different types of abuse that can occur in relationships: 
Physical
Emotional/Verbal
Sexual
Financial
Digital
Stalking

]]> 2018-10-03 03:31:26 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/288440845 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/288441485

Every year 1.5 million high school students experience physical abuse from a dating partner.

In the U.S. one in three adolescents is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner.

43% of college women who are dating report they have experienced violent and abusive dating behaviors.

Girls within the age of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence. 

36% of college students have given a dating partner their email, social network passwords, computer, or online access.

]]> 2018-10-03 03:36:51 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/288441485 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/288443277 “Home - Loveisrespect.” Loveisrespect.org, www.loveisrespect.org/.

“61 Devastating Signs Of Emotional Abuse In A Relationship.” Live Bold and Bloom, 20 Oct. 2018, liveboldandbloom.com/02/relationships/signs-of-emotional-abuse.

Follingstad, Diane R., et al. “The Role of Emotional Abuse in Physically Abusive Relationships.” SpringerLink, Kluwer Academic Publishers-Plenum Publishers, link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF00978514.

]]> 2018-10-03 03:51:14 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/288443277 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/288445357 Abuse in relationships is something too common, and something that hits so close to home. I started dating my boyfriend of 3 years my freshman year of high school. Like most relationships start out, the first year was like a dream. This was my first real relationship so I really had no idea what it was supposed to look like. After a year of dating the red flags started to pop up every now and then. They started out as little things like asking for my passwords to my social media, but then it turned into accusations of cheating, and controlling behavior. From there it only got worse, and emotional/verbal abuse was very present. Eventually I found out he was cheating on me, but because I relied on him, I stayed with him for another year and a half. After we broke up I came to realization that it was not only emotional/verbal abuse, but it was the six different types of abuse. ]]> 2018-10-03 04:12:28 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/288445357 lewandowski122 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/288887915 Kayla, thanks for sharing your story, especially your insights about the "red flags."  I'm reading a book right now called Educated about a gal and her life growing up in a super conservative home-schooling family in Idaho. In chapter 14 called "Fish Eyes," she details watching her teenage brother abuse a young gal, not by anything physical but by psychological games. It gives some startling insights into how and why these abuse issues begin.

Also, check out this TED: https://www.ted.com/talks/leslie_morgan_steiner_why_domestic_violence_victims_don_t_leave?language=en  

It addresses the difficulties women have in leaving abusive relationships. 

*Be sure to end your posts with some questions to engage your audience ;)
--Mrs. Lewandowski]]> 2018-10-03 20:45:41 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/288887915 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/291056575 Realizing you're in an abusive relationship is often something most people don't realize until late into the relationship or after it's over. Preventing abuse starts with realizing abuse before it progresses. Look for unfair or unrealistic expectations. If your partner is quick to anger, or deals with mood swings these are signs to look for. If your partner won't accept responsibility for wrong doings that may be another sign. While evaluating your relationship consider whether your sex life is mutually fulfilling. Always make sure to evaluate your relationship! ]]> 2018-10-10 02:23:03 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/291056575 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/291056879 •Romantic Love- Love that is based around physical touch, gifts, and other romantic gestures. A very intimate relationship
•Nurturing Love- Love that is more than physical, a nurturing caring love (Opening up personally). Truly caring about the person, their feelings, and their personal lives.
•Addictive Love- Love that turns into an obsession, possibly not even love. A very jealous relationship with little to no trust. Can turn into abuse very quickly.

]]> 2018-10-10 02:25:22 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/291056879 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/291065306 2018-10-10 03:39:42 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/291065306 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/291065736 If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship or situation Text CONNECT to 741741]]> 2018-10-10 03:42:53 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/291065736 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293661717 This is a great find from Mrs.L! It helps you to realize why people in abusive relationships don't leave.]]> 2018-10-17 01:52:39 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293661717 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293665626

They want to isolate you from friends or even family.

They tend to insult or belittle you, even when “joking”.

They blame others a lot, and often times it’s you.

Alcohol and drug use that causes erratic behavior can be a catalyst of abuse.

They instill fear, uneasiness or are intimidating in their speech or actions.

They punish you or retaliate for time you spend away from them.

They expect you to be subservient but aren’t helpful themselves.

They are extremely jealous of your time, relationships and/or aspirations.

They manipulate your emotions and make you feel guilty.

They get physical. Obviously hitting someone is abusive, but physical abuse can start as intimidating posturing, grabbing or controlling your movements and space.

]]> 2018-10-17 02:16:45 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293665626 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293666035 1. Says things to upset or frighten you.
2. Becomes overly and inappropriately jealous of attention from or conversation with others.
3. Monitors your time and whereabouts.
4. Monitors your telephone calls/texts or email contacts.
5. Makes decisions that affect both of you or the family without consulting you or reaching an agreement with you.
6. Controls the finances and how you spend money.
7. Repeatedly crosses your boundaries and ignores your requests.
8. Makes subtle threats or negative remarks with the intent to frighten or control you.]]> 2018-10-17 02:19:54 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293666035 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293666885 1. Shows complete disregard and disrespect.
2. Disregards your opinions, ideas, suggestions, or needs.
3. Makes “jokes” at your expense.
4. Uses sarcasm or “teasing” to put you down or make you feel bad.
5. Swears at you or calls you names.
6. Creates circular, never-ending conversations to confuse and exhaust you.
7. Regularly points out your flaws, mistakes, or shortcomings.]]> 2018-10-17 02:26:06 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293666885 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293667291 1. Orders you around and treats you like a servant.
2. Gets extremely angry when he or she doesn’t get demands met.
3. Demands obedience to whims.
4. Treats you like a child and tries to control you.
5. Behaves like a spoiled child.
6. Acts helpless to get his or her way.
7. Requires his or her permission before you can go anywhere or make a decision.
8. Has an inability to laugh at themselves and can't tolerate others laughing at them.
8. Is intolerant of any seeming lack of respect.
9. Is lacking empathy or compassion for you and others.
10. Views you as an extension of themselves rather than as an individual.]]> 2018-10-17 02:29:04 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293667291 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293667882 1. Escalates abusive language or behavior if you talk back.
2. Uses guilt trips or shaming to get his or her way.
3. Behaves dramatically in public until you agree to do what he or she wants.
4. Withholds sex or affection to get his or her way.
5. Is frequently emotionally distant or emotionally unavailable.
6. Gives you disapproving or contemptuous looks or body language to make you feel bad.]]> 2018-10-17 02:34:01 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293667882 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293668493 1. Has unpredictable emotional outbursts.
2. Shows a “Jekyll and Hyde” temperament with wild mood swings.
3. Stomps out of a room during an argument or heated discussion.
4. Sulks and refuses to talk about an issue.
5. Shakes a finger or fist at you or makes threatening gestures or faces.]]> 2018-10-17 02:38:53 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293668493 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293668863 1. Acts jealous and suspicious of your friends and social contacts.
2. Acts out to be the center of attention.
3. Makes a big scene about small or insignificant life problems.
4. Does something to spite you, just to get a rise out of you.
5. Threatens infidelity or divorce to throw you off balance.
6. Uses neglect or abandonment to punish or frighten you.]]> 2018-10-17 02:41:58 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293668863 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293669177 1. Belittles, insults, or berates you in front of other people.
2. Puts down your physical appearance or intellect.
3. Belittles and trivializes you, your accomplishments, or your hopes and dreams.
4. Tells you your feelings are irrational or crazy.
5. Turning other people against you.
6. Corrects or chastises you for your behavior.
7. Shares your personal information with others.]]> 2018-10-17 02:44:51 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293669177 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293669536 1. Accuses you of being crazy or being the abusive partner.
2. Invalidates or denies their emotionally abusive behavior when confronted.
3. Accuses you of lying or having a bad memory.
4. Hijacks a conversation to confuse or divert the subject away from your needs.
5. Plays intentional mind games.
6. Blames you for his or her bad behavior.
7. Accuses or blames you for things that aren’t true, such as infidelity.
8. Accuses you of being “too sensitive” in order to deflect their abusive remarks.
9. Tries to make you feel as though he or she is always right, and you are wrong.
10. Makes excuses for their behavior, tries to blame others and has difficulty apologizing.
11. Blames you for their problems, life difficulties, or unhappiness.

These techniques are some of the most powerful ones that were used on me. I can relate to all of the other techniques posted as well because I have experienced them or ones like them. These techniques are often shown in TV shows and movies. These are some of the most common forms of abuse. This type of abuse is mentally draining and can take a toll on your mental and physical health. ]]> 2018-10-17 02:48:12 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/293669536 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/298826960 Hey guys if you could fill out this survey I made that would be awesome! (Click Image Below!]]> 2018-10-31 03:24:21 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/298826960 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/298827997 This article talks about women and their views on emotional vs physical abuse. It also compares long term abusive relationships to short. It researches emotional abuse patterns and compares battered vs non battered relationships.]]> 2018-10-31 03:31:18 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/298827997 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/301164916 Abuse in relationships is not just a romantic thing, it is also a very common thing found at home. Abuse with children is not only mentally and physically scaring, but it can cause long-term health consequences. All forms of abuse can cause mental disorders, drug use, suicide attempts, sexually transmitted infections, and risky sexual behavior. Child abuse is a problem that affects children globally. The abuse no matter how frequent will stay with the child until adult life, and may affect the adults life in more serious ways.
I personally know someone who was sexually abused as a child by a family member and to this day, she will never forget what happened to her. No matter how you, you will always remember the trauma you went through as a child. I was 14 years old when I was sexually and emotionally abused, and at the time I didn't even know what was happening. It wasn't until I turned 17 and watched a movie about sexual abuse. After watching the movie Trust I realized everything  I had gone through was more than just average relationship problems.
Fourteen doesn't sound like a child, but a fourteen year old shouldn't be having sexual relationships with anyone, consensual or not. I now see how it has and will forever affect me. Like the article above says, it has and will continue to have a mental affect on me. I have become very closed off, and since then have not gone on many dates with men. I can see how this research really does affect people, including me.
Child abuse is way to common, what would you do to help?
Would you ever consider volunteering to help abused children?
Norman, Rosana E., et al. “The Long-Term Health Consequences of Child Physical Abuse, Emotional Abuse, and Neglect: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis.” PLOS Medicine, Public Library of Science, 27 Nov. 2012, journals.plos.org/plosmedicine/article?id=10.1371%2Fjournal.pmed.1001349.]]> 2018-11-06 18:51:02 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/301164916 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/301228796 After watching this movie when I was 17, I realized my past relationship was anything but normal. This movie helped me realize how much I connected and could relate with this girl. It also helped me realize how much I needed to heal and reconnect with myself. 
Check out the trailer below.]]> 2018-11-06 20:47:56 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/301228796 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/301302169 Being in a non-physical abusive relationship may seem super different than a physically abusive relationship, but it all falls under the same category, abuse. A lot of women think that abuse is only physical, but that's where they're wrong. There are six different types of abuse that are just as powerful as physical, Emotional/Verbal, Sexual, Financial, Digital, and Stalking.  Most women tend to misread non-physical abuse as tough love, or just another typical fight. A lot of people also look at non-physical abuse as something not as serious as physical abuse.
I personally know how frustrating this can be. When telling people that you've been emotionally abused people don't take it as seriously as physical abuse. I know that can be super upsetting because abuse is abuse, no matter what kind. I know it may be hard to not compare, but when looking at abuse, long term affects are present in all types. I think it's really hard to come to terms with the fact that abuse is present in your relationship. I didn't realize until after it was all over, and when I did it hit hard.
Why do you think people tend to compare physical vs non-physical abuse?
Why do people tend to think physical is worse? 
Stein, Leigh. “He Didn't Hit Me. It Was Still Abuse.” The Washington Post, WP Company, 15 July 2016, www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/07/15/he-didnt-hit-me-it-was-still-abuse/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.7d6203a6771a. ]]> 2018-11-07 01:57:02 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/301302169 hand_kayla16 https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/301349759 This blog for me was super tricky when I first started. I didn't want to open up and fully share my story, and I didn't want to put in the effort into a topic that is so emotionally exhausting for me to talk about. When I first started this blog I didn't realize the numbers and how high they were for how common abuse in relationships really is. It shocked me to see how many other people are struggling with something I once went through. Since I started this blog, I have grown enough to step out of my comfort zone, and I have been looking into volunteering with victims of abuse. I think that it's a topic that needs a lot more awareness and attention. I have learned so much about signs of abuse and how frequent I detect them. I now know how to help others and how to get help for them. This is always something I really wanted to do, so I'm really glad I was able to step out of my comfort zone and create this blog. I plan on continuing this blog and adding more of my story as I feel comfortable.]]> 2018-11-07 07:20:28 UTC https://padlet.com/hand_kayla16/68lgvh4yxd9j/wish/301349759