Synth music booming from rogue amplifiers

Trent Reznor shouting while swinging on rails

These are the joys of Joe’s THE Nine Inch Nails!

Southport is lovely, but much less exciting, than battling warlocks or dungeon igniting.

Spells flying past as the chaos unveils—
All to the TRON soundtrack by THE Nine Inch Nails!

Cyberpunk goblins in latex attire,

Singing while setting Southport church on fire,

Joe with a synth and a goblet of ale
Yelling "Let us all partay for the holy grail

Southport can't handle the sounds that he’s bringing, even the seagulls are moshing and singing

No need for candles—just firework trails,
Guided by Vic and her jaw of the flail!

Happiest of days to you. It’s been another amazing year Joe, I’m not sure how it was actually 12mos ago that we stood watching Health off our faces on shrooms, but here we are.

I constantly thank the universe for placing us on a collision course. The music, the laugher, the margaritas, the dancing, the crisps, the LOGISTICS, the chats about it aaaaaaaaall, the support in the best of times and some of the worst of times. Such stuff as dreams are made on, these are.

I’m honestly so excited for what you have going on between music releases and upskilling your already skilled brain. Your endless curiosity about the world you move through is an inspiration to me, and you never fail to make me stop and think about things from a different perspective. I don’t know what the next go round the sun looks like, or how often we might get to meet up during it, but I do know that we’re here for all of it with you, and we’ll absolutely continue to tear it up when we do manage to converge. In the meantime, we’ll think of new names for Vic’s minge.

I love you to smithereens, you pure gold human!

Sending you fried egg happiness and Hazy Jane sparkles!

Ellie xxxx 🌈 ✨ 🫂 🦓 🎶 🕺🏻 💃🏼 😘⚓️🌠⚖️🎉🍄🍂

You are genuinely one of my best friends and always a voice of reason. Always there to listen with an uncanny ability to message me at exactly the right time. You have been such a huge support to me over the years and I am truly grateful and so lucky to have found you.

So many happy memories and so many more to come. Can't wait for The Cure.

Have the bestest day. Love you hugely

Xxx

Another year around the soleil for you my golden fyne egge. It’s been an interesting one has it not. I didn’t know if we would ever make it after ticketgate Deadinburgh 💀💀💀yet there we were at Ministry and the coach home, putting shit to rights

This year has had not nearly enough time with you in it compared to previous years, but there have been some truly quality or memorable moments with your excellent hugs, japes, witchy screams, queasy taxis, vomiting in Wigan alleys, cherry kraken, tiny ceramic shoes appearing out of nowhere much to my delight, glitter festooned findings for months, much dancing and many beers.

This year is testament that Our friendship only grows stronger as the months pass and we will always pick right up where we left off no matter how much time has passed or how many dry Wetherspoons steaks we eat.

So thankful for our recentish Ministry evening and the next day of silliness with Minge munching fit curry and having what could be the worst pictures ever taken of us , of all time, even when we are 200 years old, mummified. What a blessed time and space it is to know and love ya, and more of that to come pls

Dead proud of your newest musical and academic pursuits this year and continued passion on the STATS furthering your quest for knowledge! Excel is going to cry when it realises you have upgraded on its sorry ass. AI spreadsheets from here on in

Feels like there’s a theme to your bday this year, sure you can guess it…. And LIVE IT/ DRINK IT.

Forever grateful for you and your big tall ways, your quick wit, your thoughtful words, your WhatsApp summaries when you have time, your bear hugs, your love of neck oil and dem big ol blue eyes

Miss your face and hope to see you very soon. Have the best day ye blerrrrttt and speak soon.

ALL THE LOVIN, MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

VICKY XXX

What Joe?

The Joe with the power.

What power?

The power of AI.

May I?

Eh, aye!

Aye, ya remind me of the Joe.

Happy fuckin' birthdayyyyyyy dude! Big love comin' at ya. Hope you have the best day!

Keep being awesome, maaaaaan!

Love an' ting,

Kopath

Happy merry birth!

-James

Our goblin music maker, our Warhammer warlord,

Our wearer of guy liner and maker of weird medieval Shakespearean texts that I don’t understand.

I hope you have a wonderful day with your loved ones (sadly not with us all this time, but it’s fine, I’ll excuse you since I am, apparently, in La Plata, Argentina. Or at least that’s what the padlet thinks. La Plata, Palermo, Italy, Argentina,

All the same innit? This is the longest parenthesis ever, isn’t it? Ok, I’ll finish it now. Or not. Ok, maybe now.)

Enjoy your day my friend.

Miss you and hope to see you soon at a Health gig with Vicky.

Love,

Flah

Johnny Health, probably

Romanza

GOBLIN