What makes a good death? by Becky Elms

What makes a good death? by Becky Elms https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61 Press + in the bottom right to add your thoughts, images or any other inspiration about what a good death means to you? en-us 2021-10-06 09:43:57 UTC 2023-02-27 15:39:37 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f914.png Anonymous: becky205 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1795984686 one that is free from avoidable distress and suffering]]> 2021-10-06 10:13:53 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1795984686 Anonymous: becky205 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1795986554 A good death would be when a person's mind is in a state of peace and tranquility.]]> 2021-10-06 10:14:51 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1795986554 Anonymous: becky205 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1795987261 Just like going to the toilet, its better when it's on your own terms]]> 2021-10-06 10:15:16 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1795987261 Anonymous: becky205 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1795988122 Not forgetting to live]]> 2021-10-06 10:15:38 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1795988122 Anonymous: becky205 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1795988585 You made peace with everything]]> 2021-10-06 10:15:52 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1795988585 Anonymous: becky205 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1795989150 Able to meet God and be accountable for our lives on earth]]> 2021-10-06 10:16:12 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1795989150 Anonymous: becky205 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1795989495 It's hard for me to qualify death. Death is death. I see nothing inherently good or bad about any death. It just is. And that's good on it's own]]> 2021-10-06 10:16:25 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1795989495 Anonymous: becky205 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1795990038 Dying on your own terms, with dignity and forethought.]]> 2021-10-06 10:16:45 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1795990038 Anonymous: becky205 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796001075 My mom had a good death. All of her kids were singing around her while she was lying in bed at home when she took her last breath. I have only felt that amount of love/divine intensity with her death and at each of my daughters births. It was beautiful ❤️]]> 2021-10-06 10:22:44 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796001075 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796003944 I think a good death is one where you have no unresolved conflict within yourself. There are no left over messes that you failed to tend to or burned relationships. I think a certain degree of self mastery needs to be achieved to actually be comfortable with your life and what transpired, and a willingness to let go of everything here on Earth. The opposite to that to me would be an old man dying with regret. I think there would be nothing worse.]]> 2021-10-06 10:24:16 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796003944 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796004345 Death is kind of like walking through a tunnel... I'd say a good death would be where someone is at peace with that journey.]]> 2021-10-06 10:24:29 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796004345 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796004664 Death is like birth. It is a journey as individual as the person. A good death is one where the person is given the dignity and personhood they deserve. They can make decisions regarding their humanity that they need for their peace. In order for this to be fully actualized, there needs to be an acceptance of death as a beautiful part of life.]]> 2021-10-06 10:24:40 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796004664 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796005122 As an ER nurse, I have witnessed countless deaths. The most difficult deaths in my opinion are the ones when family lacks any kind of acceptance and tries to keep the person's body alive at all costs. Medical advances have become a double edged sword in a way. We can keep someone’s body alive for much longer, but in most cases, not in any meaningful kind of way. We can have a machine breathe for you, we can have a machine pump your blood through you, but we can’t have a machine give you back your consciousness. It’s amazing how many people with their lack of acceptance demand that all medical interventions be done with no understanding of how traumatic that is on the person’s body with no good outcome possible. It’s also traumatic for all parties that are part of that care. Because many providers are concerned about litigation, many acquiesce to these demands. This is profoundly troubling to watch. These are some of the most difficult deaths to witness because I feel it is a disservice to the person dying and the family is making decisions for what THEY want vs making decisions for what that person would want. i.e. would they want to be on a ventilator unconscious for weeks as their body slowly deteriorates, or would they rather have a much more peaceful, natural death? A huge part of this is people not discussing death before it happens because it can be a taboo topic. It's disturbing how many people spend decades with a person and when it comes down to the question "What would she/he want right now?” at end of life and their person has no clue. So in one way, a good death is anticipated, discussed, accepted, and in a way planned ahead of time by the person and family that will reinforce those decisions when that person can no longer make them. The second type of death that is difficult to witness is the inevitable death not accepted by the dying party. This I have usually seen in younger cancer patients where their body is failing them but their spirit fights on. This is incredibly hard to watch as there is much angst, and sometimes literal fighting, i.e. trying to get up and leave when it is physically unsafe to do so. The family may be doing what is right in the situation, but nothing can really be done with that personal fight other than medicating for safety. This is why I feel it is so important for each person to come to terms with death while they are living. Another type of death that is difficult is the one where no one is there and no one cares to come in once they are contacted about the dying patient. I have no judgment on this as I have no idea what family may have endured with this person over time. It’s just sad to see someone dying and completely alone. There are expected deaths, and unexpected deaths. While the unexpected ones are difficult, I find it less difficult when it was quick and painless, as opposed to full of suffering. I guess I have described bad deaths, and you asked what is a good one? A good death is accepted by the dying party, and the dying party’s family and friends. A good death involves loved ones present and helping provide care for the dying party. A good death would be full of peace: giving up any past regrets and embracing what lies ahead whatever that may be. I very much agree that birth and death are incredibly sacred and beautiful events, the most sacred life events. I feel honored when I get to witness and assist in them.]]> 2021-10-06 10:24:55 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796005122 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796005423 Privacy, access to pain relief, time and opportunity to say what needs to be said to our loved ones, ability to see/be close to nature leading up to death, access to music and choice of location...]]> 2021-10-06 10:25:06 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796005423 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796006016 2021-10-06 10:25:26 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796006016 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796006669 2021-10-06 10:25:47 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796006669 I'd say one that makes you feel like you have lived in a good way and there is no need for regrets https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796007181 2021-10-06 10:26:04 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796007181 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796007823 It has to be good both in terms of how you die (peacefully in your sleep? Surrounded by your loved ones and their love? Heroically?) and when. Was there something you really wished you'd done before going? Were you happy before? A good death, ultimately, is the good end to a good life, I think.

Mine would be: peacefully in my sleep, after a fantastic evening of good food and good wine with the ones I love.

]]> 2021-10-06 10:26:23 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796007823 one that is free from avoidable distress and suffering https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796008486 2021-10-06 10:26:43 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796008486 无悔 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796010189 2021-10-06 10:27:38 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796010189 우와 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796010836 2021-10-06 10:28:00 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796010836 when you have time/ opportunity to show the best love to people you treasure https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796011219 2021-10-06 10:28:13 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796011219 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796012131 Regarding my ideal death, it should have 3 features: 1 - Natural: I wouldn’t want to die “before my time”, 2 - Quick & painless: ideally I don’t really feel anything when it happens, e.g. in my sleep, 3 - Peaceful: I wouldn’t want to feel any stress or discomfort before the death occurs. So, dying at age 100 while sleeping is very close to ideal, dying at 30 from a gunshot wound where I slowly bleed out, pretty far from ideal! I would say that points 2 & 3 are probably most important here, so if I was to pass away at a relatively young age, I would still want that to be quick, painless and peaceful.]]> 2021-10-06 10:28:42 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796012131 Dying in a familiar place not ICU and without all the med/clinical equipment https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796012580 2021-10-06 10:28:54 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796012580 Sleeping while it happens https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796013087 2021-10-06 10:29:13 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796013087 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796014164 Your question brought this passage to mind from Padraig O Tuama's book In The Shelter:

"Ira Byock is a palliative care doctor who has, in the course of his career, observed that people who are dying tend to say four things. They say 'Please forgive me'; they say 'I forgive you'; they say 'Thank you'; and they say 'I love you.'"

I think a good death includes a chance to cover this ground in some way. In 50 years I will likely be near my own death, and I hope as a society we will have become more able to support each other at the end.

]]> 2021-10-06 10:29:52 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796014164 hi..i'm from Thailand https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796298718 2021-10-06 12:41:24 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1796298718 Acceptance. https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1798605668 2021-10-07 03:54:46 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1798605668 don't make every one sad https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1804176262 2021-10-09 14:52:29 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1804176262 when you die contented and happy https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1804872926 2021-10-10 04:46:42 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1804872926 A good death is when you are at peace with yourself and with the world and the heavens above. https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1810248972 2021-10-12 10:02:55 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1810248972 It's difficult, I would like to say "when we fulfil our life's purpose", but we constantly invent new purposes throughout our lives, I can't really imagine being on my deathbed and not thinking "but I wanted to ___". So apart from that, I think a good death is a death that is painless, leaves nobody unsupported and in need of care, and has at least been made peace with. https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1810465803 2021-10-12 12:05:33 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1810465803 nothing https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1835876661 2021-10-22 09:31:04 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1835876661 when u finally accept the death, then there are nothing really matter more. You could die with happiness or suffered from unfortunate. But in the end, you will just die, and nothing make sense more. So why we must questioned ourselves about it? https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1844192158 2021-10-26 07:17:59 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1844192158 WHEN YOU KNOW YOU DID ALL YOU WANT AND WHEN YOU FULLFILL EVERTHING https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1847236751 2021-10-27 05:16:00 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1847236751 dcfff https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1851772871 2021-10-28 15:50:04 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1851772871 ㅋㅋㄹㅃㅃ https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1852781330 뭔말이야]]> 2021-10-29 01:26:36 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1852781330 deez https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1852809311 2021-10-29 01:38:44 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1852809311 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1852870667 a good death is when you have lived a fulfilling life and you die painlessly]]> 2021-10-29 02:04:32 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1852870667 A good death is when death dont exist https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1855981369 2021-10-30 22:25:02 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1855981369 able to meet god in heaven https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1855997668 2021-10-30 22:52:11 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1855997668 good memory https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1856858147 2021-10-31 15:51:56 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1856858147 sastified death https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1858214395 2021-11-01 08:27:33 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1858214395 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1858839935 passing away in peace]]> 2021-11-01 14:01:00 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1858839935 Dying without regrets 190058011 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1866834090 2021-11-04 07:43:41 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1866834090 JL: Read Tuesdays with Morrie https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1870108736 2021-11-05 14:31:21 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1870108736 after a long tour ,start a new one without the memory before, so you might make the same mistakes ,so in this journey,try not do something bad https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1875405660 2021-11-08 15:20:10 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1875405660 love https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1876440749 2021-11-08 21:49:15 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1876440749 finish https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1877435525 2021-11-09 06:45:22 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1877435525 die in hard code minecraft hoanglongnguyen1902 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1877583849 also no gear

]]> 2021-11-09 08:07:51 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1877583849 with pagmamahal https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1878385114 2021-11-09 14:19:30 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1878385114 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1880607053 I reckon a good death is a death without regret!

-Hypnos]]> 2021-11-10 07:40:42 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1880607053 CokeZeru https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1881444360 2021-11-10 14:32:39 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1881444360 Dying with no regrets ig m12257574 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1882978062 2021-11-11 02:15:40 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1882978062 happy https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1886947199 2021-11-12 15:46:29 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1886947199 an assisted euthanasia after a long, fulfilling life. https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1887238935 2021-11-12 18:10:28 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1887238935 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1887816581 A death with respect.]]> 2021-11-13 03:24:29 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1887816581 death with no regrets https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1893442883 2021-11-16 07:31:17 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1893442883 with a sequel *winks* https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1894398758 2021-11-16 15:08:57 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1894398758 being at peace https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1896228071 2021-11-17 07:40:06 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1896228071 🤬 with best friend https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1896303397 2021-11-17 08:22:55 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1896303397 Getting old and getting killed https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1897947548 2021-11-17 20:41:19 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1897947548 be murdered by memories https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1901972966 2021-11-19 12:46:44 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1901972966 you can have peace https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1905679148 2021-11-22 09:27:08 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1905679148 Nguyễn Cao Thục Nhiên hoanglongnguyen1902 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1958037156
Đó là câu hỏi mà không nhiều người đặt ra, nó chứng tỏ một điều rằng đa số mọi người không thực sự quan tâm đến pin và các vấn đề liên quan.

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cả bàn chải điện nữa.

]]> 2021-12-21 02:53:57 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/1958037156 Dying at the most happiest moment in your life https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/2025406840 or when you're at the rock bottom]]> 2022-02-02 14:03:26 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/2025406840 Death in peace while you're sleeping https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/2025408969 2022-02-02 14:04:21 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/2025408969 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/2100354536 die at peace

]]> 2022-03-17 15:55:16 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/2100354536 https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/2101600027 death and know that i could have a better after life

]]> 2022-03-18 09:14:10 UTC https://padlet.com/becky205/63w3pkyd97l40e61/wish/2101600027