https://padlet.com/26dfarley/62hl02u2fylg Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2019-12-05 15:53:11 UTC 2019-12-11 16:07:10 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/icons/Apple.png 26eprincipe https://padlet.com/26dfarley/62hl02u2fylg/wish/421675580 I like how you described the main character Jordan in the being of the story, I got a really good picture in my mind of what is happening. I also like when the dad and Jordan were in the hospital because I also had a clear picture of it in my mind and I felt like I was in the room because it was very descriptive. One thing I wish you would do is try and describe her feelings a little bit more.

]]> 2019-12-09 16:04:33 UTC https://padlet.com/26dfarley/62hl02u2fylg/wish/421675580 26mksheehy https://padlet.com/26dfarley/62hl02u2fylg/wish/422263070 Hello, I like all of the description you used for example in the beginning you said “it was a beautiful blazing hot day!” I also enjoyed all of the dialogue you used because it made the story very interesting instead of someone just explaining what is going on during the story!!!!!!One thing you can work on is showing how your main character feels! I think that can really benefit you because then by telling us how she feels the readers can develop a better understanding for what is going on during your story! Overall i think you have an amazing story and you are a great writer!!!!!!!!!       ~your friend MacKenzie ]]> 2019-12-10 16:37:15 UTC https://padlet.com/26dfarley/62hl02u2fylg/wish/422263070 https://padlet.com/26dfarley/62hl02u2fylg/wish/422351942 A strength of your story was the incredible sensory details. The details you added made me feel like I was living in your story. I could imagine most parts which I really relived. Another strength in your story is how you incorporate the climax. You could tell that the moment her dad told her about his childhood was such a crucial part in your story. It made everyone realize that Jordan isn’t alone in this universe. A suggestion I can offer is to use a bigger variety of words. I noticed that you used a lot of similar words which really took away some of the interest in your story. Using more descriptive language will definitely improve your story.

]]> 2019-12-10 18:45:19 UTC https://padlet.com/26dfarley/62hl02u2fylg/wish/422351942