“The day I took the state patrol test is a day I will never forget,” he said.  

“How’d the test go?” I asked.

“Well… the test went fine. But I guess you have to be 160 pounds.  At the time, I only weighed 153.  So before getting to the doctor’s office, I stopped at the grocery store and ate a bunch of bananas.  When I was weighed at the doctor’s office, I was up to 163 pounds!” he said with a small chuckle.  

I am a phoenix. At least that’s what Momma tells me. I remember the first time she said it. We were sitting at the kitchen table, listening to the radio blare the rampage of news we had come to expect.

“My family is very busy and involved and are out living their own life and struggle to find time to visit me.” Doris whispered in disappointment.

“I’m very sorry, I understand that is very hard.” I said sympathetically.

When I sat down the principal asked, “Have you been swinging on the bars outside at recess?”

I replied with a little bit of a question also, “Yes but what’s the problem with that?”

She answered, “Well some of the teachers have noticed that when you swing around that your panties are visible.”

I said in a smart alic way, “Then don’t look.”

That didn’t go over very well with her and she answered, “Did you not hear me, you’re showing your whole undercarriage to everyone in the school!”

Barbara’s old fashioned home sat on many acres of corn crops and green gardens.  Her mother kept a vegetable garden next to the old rickety shed in which her father kept the faded green and yellow tractor.  For her birthday, her mother went to the convenient store to pick up a few pale pink colored balloons, which made the house smell like new plastic.  Some sugar cubes were set out on the red-stained wooden maple kitchen table for the guests to munch on.  

Enjoy!