Dante Calabrese CRITICAL AUTOBIOGRAPHY by

Gender

dfvedder — 2024-11-04 20:31:46 UTC

When it comes to my understanding and comprehension, on the idea and concept of my own gender and how I identify myself id say that I am a "Male" biologically speaking. I'd say that throughout my childhood I certainly felt like male and showed those characteristics, furthermore id say that a moment that I could think of relating to my gender and being male, or first identified would be in middle school and high school. I remember when the male teachers and female teachers separated the boys and girls, and had us watch in the gymnasium a video on the male genetalia, and puberty. I was only 12 -13 years old during the spring of my last year in middle school before graduating and going into my high school years. It was very uncomfortable somewhat being exposed to it but made me feel less nervous and weirded out sitting next to my classmates. But some key moments I remember that stood out to me that day was all of the boys in the gymnasium started laughing and joking around, since we were all young and being immature about it, at the time. Furthermore we were all confused as to why they separated the boys and girls from each other, but we were aware we all were watching two different videos that would be the opposite of our gender. It was certainly an interesting day and confusing overall, even after the discussion and the video ended. This was a defining moment that brought me into recognizing how i identified with being a "Male", due to the backing of science and the way our body functions. Furthermore into this is the second scenario when I was in high school and was in my health class, with the entire class having a full on discussion about both genders and genetalia parts, with the difference and how the male and female get their reproductive parts awakened sort of speak when going into puberty. It was a drastic difference from then and now when it was spoken of again in high school rather than middle school, due to us already being 15- 16 years old. Expanding on this is how I understand that its such a different climate, and night & day difference, with how todays society constructs as well understand the meaning or concept of "Gender". More so that we as society has become more open arms and accepting of one another, with understanding how we identify or express ourselves, whether its Male, Female, Queer, Straight, Gay, Bi, Nonbinary, pronouns etc. It's certainly a giant leap from how society viewed or understood ones "Identity" or "Gender", over 10 years ago. Expanding towards other aspects with my gender is how I experienced a scenario with lack of privilage due to my gender. It happened when I was looking for a summer job, and decided to go into my local bakery and coffee shop in Middlebury CT, that I always went to get breakfast and coffee at. I saw that they were hiring for part time, and inquired within regarding this oppertunity. I spoke to a young gentleman who was at the register and asked on the position they had for hiring, which was for the front register. He had my write down my information on a napkin instead of an actual application forum. I then waited almost 2 weeks to hear from the manager or owner of the place. I decided that I would stop by there to see if they still had the sign up, and to my surprise they did. I went inside and spoke to this older women and mentioned who I was and what I was inquiring about. The older lady then started laughing at me and said to me that she doesn't understand why im here. Even after I explained it to her, which confused me why she was responding in that manner. She then left me and went in the back, got the gentleman who came out and asked me why I was here. And he stated his question in a rude manner which upset me, this led to me saying about the part time opening and register position. And to my surprise the owner made a rude comment saying " Were not looking for a guy at the counter, there's too many working here I don't need that". This led to the lady who I spoke with started laughing and made a very rude comment about me being a male inquiring about the register position. I was very upset and frustrated cause they literally had girls always working the counter whenever I went there for breakfast. And the only time I would see male workers was In the kitchen which consisted of two men, and the one young gentleman I spoke with prior. This was a scenario that always stuck with me and upset me, and surprised me at the time. Furthermore, when it comes to my own personal understanding and experience on how intersectionality impacted my gender privilege would in a neutral manner for the most part. I would say that the example I gave shows a negative impact due to me being a white male individual. And was treated unfairly with being judged by my gender and race, especially this reflecting marginalization. Furthermore I can say that me being on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum plays a part within how I function as my identified gender, more so my challenges of making small talk or certain social cues when it comes to myself trying to communicate with a female, or another female individual I like. Making my confidence and social communication challenging sometimes, feeling intimidated. Moving into other important aspect with my gender is how it can impact my understanding and communication with clients. Scenarios that comes to mind is working with the opposite gender, or a female individual. Especially if it's a client that is an abuse survivor, as well working with other clients who may identify as the opposite gender of mine beyond both male and female, this can cause tension and concern for the client. Due to the contextual history behind "White Male's" and seen as an aggressive or threatening individual against people with pronouns or trans even as well. Furthermore when it comes to the path and course within my social work career, it can be both positive and negative from both perspectives. An identified male social work, can allow a unique view when working with their clients. More so that some men might be less likely to engage and interact with female social worker colleagues due to the societal expectations. This can also be certainly beneficial and an oppertunity when addressing substance abuse, mental health conecerns if it were to be with another male individual. Other positive aspects is a male social worker can be a great influence and role model for clients who lack positive male figures in their lives. As well the chance of having male social workers provide special support to other males facing challenges or struggles related to the ideal traditional masculinity, with emotional expression or seeking mental health concerns and issues. Looking towards some negative aspects can be gender stereotypes, underrepresentation due to the field being predominantly female which can lead to feelings and emotions of being an outsider, or micro aggression too. Lastly the need for the self awareness due to their own gender biases and avoid harmful sterotypes etc.

Age

dfvedder — 2024-11-04 20:32:59 UTC

Its an interesting concept of "Age", more so how its something that defines our entire life from birth to death. As well its unique term and what it means to the full extent. Without a doubt when it comes to my own personal understanding of age and life it can be stated that I would not consider myself my age when it comes to my identity. More so with the experiences I had growing up that I witnessed, more so these life moments made me mature faster and be in more of a mindset that no individual should be in at such a young age. More specifically I would say that it's hard to label my age to the full extent, I believe that when I was 6 to 13 years old my age didnt from then to now didnt reside to where I was, and more so was in a 18 year old mindset for age, due to the amount of trauma and incidents I experienced between that time frame. More so I would say that I do identify as of right now my age which is "24 years old", this signifies it when I became an uncle last year, and it was certainly a life changing moment. There are other aspects that I somewhat dont relate the full extent to my age identity, due to where I stand at the moment in my life. From society's standards it has certainly changed throughout the decades what someone should be doing at a certain age or accomplished. For myself personally I know friends and people who I grew up with that already gotten married before 24 years old, or they had their first child. My own age identity I feel fits and connects towards a decent amount of what people are doing at this age. I know that I graduated with my bachelors last year, and been through a lot of life moments during my early 20's so far. But more so I feel challenged and confused on where I should actually be at 24 years old. I do live at home still with my family, but more so due to the economy and financial situation, as well my ability being a challenge to work while being in graduate school as well. I overall feel that I dont somewhat fit where i identify my age, more so I feel much older due to my life experience that I had so young as well my mindset and how I function or see life as a whole. It's hard to explain by I find myself identify with other age groups as well. I know that I dont feel embarrassed or confused for where I stand on my age identity and what ive accomplished so far, since I believe everyone has a unique life journey and path when they reach certain mile stones within their lives that some my reach at the idea age or later in life. When it comes to privileges or lack of with my age identity, I feel that I cannot answer this or know a realistic answer that would fit this to the best of my ability, as well the intersectionality aspect too. Furthermore when it comes to my age influencing my work practice in social work, with clients and career path I see it being more of a positive outlook and scenario, since I feel many people who I might come across that are either the same age as me or younger have been in the same situation as myself but maybe at a different pace or time. Adding onto this is a crucial aspect I feel makes this age identity very challenging is due to the COVID-19 pandemic, as well between 2019 - 2022, I feel that it had set the entire United States and young adults back 4 years, and due to the way financial, life expenses, moments etc. all were interrupted and affected peoples ability as a whole. It makes myself and others feel we were set back and taken away of moments we were supposed to accomplish and done at the age or life moments. Renting and living cost are outrageous and unrealistic standards, causing many people to move back home and live together since it's actually cheaper than renting. This I reside with due to at the moment my family living changed with my sister, her boyfriend and my nephew who was just born moved in with us due to rent becoming more for them to pay, especially with being first time parents. This caused my mother to want them to move in with her, my grandparents and myself. And instead have them pay us to live here and help pay the house taxes and instead would charge them $500 less. Going back to my age identity relations with clients practice and career path, I feel its a stronger foundation more than anything due to the way so many people lives were set back and still playing catch up even after the pandemic ended. I find this would build a strong professional relationship, also I feel that my career path going into pediatric social work aligns more than ever with my age identity, due to the circumstances with the children who ill work with and their families, especially the young ones who have to mature early and sooner than they're supposed to due to terminally ill health or similar scenarios I went through due to the amount of challenging and stressful situations I was put through from 5 years old to 11 years nonstop with being put through 9 reconstructive surgeries, as well it affecting my childhood and relationships or moments no child should miss out on, lastly the situations I had to somewhat experience with having a drug addict for a father. Overall I feel my age identity is all over the place and not set into one ideal age, due to so much I went through growing up.

Ethnicity

dfvedder — 2024-11-06 01:52:22 UTC

When it comes to my own personal understanding of how I identify my ethnicity, is that i am part Italian on my mother's side of the family. With also being Irish and Polish on my father's side of his family. I personally more lean towards considering myself as "Italian American", than my other two ethnicity on my father's side. An aspect that impacted my identity with leaning away from my father's side of ethnicity, is solely due to the nonexistent relationship I have with him and distanced myself unfortunately, due to it being an unhealthy and toxic relationship overall. Furthermore I would say the realization I had when it came to being "Italian American" is in 2007 two years after my mother, sister and myself moved into my grandparents house in Watertown Connecticut. I was raised with being surrounded by so much Italian heritage and culture aspects within the household. One example is how we celebrated holidays, and traditions. For example every year during the month of August we attended the Pontelandolfo "Ponte Feast", which is an event that celebrates, Italian tradition and culture almost like an American version of a Fair or Carnival. It would consist of Italian food to eat, Italian music, Italian Musicians, Wine and Italian related beverages etc. As well the mass procession involving the men and women of the Ponte's Club carrying the tradition of this. Furthermore I experienced having during Christmas Eve a seafood dinner, rather than the way others would traditionally eat during that day. Furthering this idea of other aspects that influenced my Italian status is my last name and meaning behind it as a "Calabrese". I realized throughout the years living in Watertown and Connecticut, how much family I have as well the status that the "Calabrese Family" holds to others and individuals. I find myself to this day having people and random individuals when in a public place come up to me asking if I know these other "Calabrese" members in Connecticut or if im related to this "Famous" person. I remember when I first lived with my grandparents and Uncle all under one roof as a family, I had so many cousins, and relatives at the house on a daily basis, whether they lived in the same town, state, or even out of country especially visiting from "Italy", I would always have to say hello to them all whenever I saw them visiting at my house. Also a tradition we had when guest are coming over was a big feast or appetizer in the dining room setup. Including the Wine or alcohol beverages that would be gifted to us. The biggest impact of my realization when it came to my understanding of knowing fully and strongly being "Italian American", was when I changed my last name from "Vedder" to "Calabrese" 4 years ago. The decision of changing my last name came from my grandfather, grandfather and uncle helped raise my sister and me, since my mother was a single parent by herself at the time. I considered my grandfather and uncle my real fathers, and I'm fortunate enough to still have both my grandparents, with my grandfather being 89 years old this month. Lastly my uncle passed away in 2012 to stage 4 brain cancer which came outta nowhere in the month of May, and eventually passing away in September 27th. It was more in honor of his memory and my grandfather, due to my uncle never having his own children and not having at the time no one else to carry the "Calabrese" name and linage. I would also state that my Ethnicity but more specifically last name carry "Great Privilage" and overall my entire full legal name. Ever since I had changed my last name to "Calabrese", and people I meet or see my full name, immediately start joking and making me laugh or smile, asking about the Mafia, or say "Dante, like Dantes inferno" in the Italian book written by Dante Alighieri". Before I changed my last name to "Calabrese" I never had this much more attention or conversations started with other individuals or Italians in public I meet at local business, or stores. The most recent scenario that gave me "Privilege" due to my ethnicity was when I was looking for a new summer job in 2023, with my grandfather taking me to a local farm in Middlebury Connecticut, "Vaszauskas Farms", right behind my house, that ive never heard of. But found out my grandparents been going there for years, when I went there I spoke with a worker asking if they were hiring and inquired on applying leaving my name and number, eventually I got a call back quickly and got hired. I found out later on that the owner was also a "Calabrese". and it was a family own business ran by "Calabrese". This was a privilege and situation I wouldn't ever imagine I was given due to my name, and even finding out more that my entire family, cousins, and other relatives all went to do business there. Lastly an important part of my identity with Italian American status was the middle name I was given and my full legal name. "Dante Francesco Calabrese". I was given my grandfathers middle name by my mother in honor of my grandfather, with at one point my parents wanted to name after my grandfather and call me Italo. Lastly when it comes to how my identity with my ethnicity could shape my social work practice overall, would be that I have a better understanding of foreign background and cultures within the Italian heritage, as well could see challenge my social work practice due to having different beliefs and ideal standards, that my conflict or make me feel uncomfortable at times with other clients who may be of other culture and upbringing that goes against my traditions and beliefs. Overall I found that within these last 4 years I embraced my ethnicity and tradition as an "Italian American" more than ever without realizing it until this very moment reflecting and discussing this topic.

Race

dfvedder — 2024-11-06 01:52:29 UTC

When discussing on the idea and concept of race, with how I identify myself towards one. I find that I am a white individual, that is also of Italian descent. Furthermore I feel strong about being a white person, and at the same time aware of the contextual history and background with how society can view or perceive a white individual in today's climate. I do believe that race shouldn't matter for anyone or force them to be labeled by it throughout their entire life, more so that I perceive there being only one "True Race". This would be the "Human Race", were all in this together and apart of this experience called life. I also do "strongly believe" in pride with identifying towards a race, and it's a great experience for everyone as well to be proud of who they are by their skin and color. Nobody should ever feel negative towards one another, or be hurtful. Throughout my life when it came to a moment of realization towards myself identifying as a race or somewhat realized I was "White" and different from others around me, would be in elementary school. I grew up with other children from different races and ethnicity's, I feel the most powerful moment was my group of friends I made with our passion for loving spider-man. It made me not realize how diverse my friend circle was at the time, with having an African American friends, a Chinese American friend, as well other white individuals too. I remember at the time during 2007 when Sam Raimi Spider-Man 3 film came out in theaters, all of my friends always came into school with merch and toys related to the films release, I felt that I wasn't aware of or came to the realization that these other children and friends I associated with were of a different race and skin color, I never found myself with hanging out only with others of my race and skin color. When reflecting back on this example it made me realize right now that children at this age are so pure and open hearted towards others, and don't judge or look only at one's race or skin color. Furthermore when it comes to my own personal understanding on privilege and under privilege status with my race that I identify with being "White". I would say that I find myself being neutral overall when it comes to the positive and negative aspect of privilege. I am aware of the coined term "White Privilege" and how it identifies white raced individuals having more opportunity's and advantage with their status of them being "white", over the non white individuals. Furthering this is that even though I do feel neutral and don't have a forward answer in regards to the idea, if I have privilege cause of my race or the opposite experience. I am self aware that it's possible certainly that I had experienced privileges with being white without realizing it. When actually spending time on this and reflecting it makes me want to understand better from my own perspective, how I can identify my privileges, and be mindful of others with the opposite and struggling due to their lack of privilege due to their skin color. Id also would take the notice that the intersectionality aspect has certainly impacted my life and experience with being a "white" individual. Being an individual on the "Autism Spectrum", more specifically high functioning end played a role and situations with facing barriers and challenges at certain points, with having to experience negative comments or reactions during my public school years. More specifically with the meeting i had with faculty and staff for my PPT. I had teachers that suggested during my senior year, made rude and disrespectful comments on my plans for after high school and when I would graduate. They didn't have faith or high hopes in me going to college and actually completing, with them making suggestion of working a blue collar job or at a bottle recycling facility. This made not only myself very upset and insulted but my mother especially when she found out. But when looking back at this situation im proud to have been able to prove those teachers and faulcatly staff wrong with not only completing my bachelor's in sociology at QU, but also getting accepted into graduate school, with being "Autistic". Furthermore another aspect that I would like to mention when it comes to my identity as a "white" individual, would be that of my understanding towards racism and how I understood that Prejudice, bias and discrimination existed. Throughout my life I experienced having family members who were racist unfortunately, more so my grandparents that are my mothers parents. They were born in the 1930's so they've seen and experienced a lot throughout the history of the United States. Including the Civil Rights act of 1964, growing up in the same house hold as my grandparents made it challenging to express or want to bring friends over my house who were of color, or another nationality or ethnicity besides "white". This made it frustrating and upsetting as well tension between myself and them. Other situations where I saw racism happening was the times my grandparents saw my sister in an interracial relationship, and would speak very harsh and inappropriate about my sisters personal life related to this matter. Lastly when it comes to the context of how myself identifying as "White", will impact my social work practice of understanding clients, is without a doubt would be challenging since there will certainly be times working with individuals, or families of other race and color. I can see it being challenging understanding from their perspective, as well my own race can be seen by clients as intimidating and untrustful to people of color or foreign nation etc. As well for the aspect of the influence in my career path into social work profession, I would feel its most important to engage in critical self reflection to ensure anti oppressive and anti racist practices. I also can see how white individuals can benefit from systematic racism occurring within the setting and practice of this field of study. Furthermore to expand upon this is my connection or the somewhat relations to the racial identity development models within the Sue & Sue Chapters. I would say that the specific model that aligns to myself somewhat and shares similar connections to my own understanding would be the "The Helms White Racial Identity Development Model". Due to the section on Contact Status, since I find to relate of being unaware sometimes that racism is Dominant in all aspects even in the ones you least expect it to. More so how I feel I have a sense and lens where I don't judge people on their outer appearance and race of their skin or color. But find that it can be possible of myself being unconscious of certain ideas or mindset I may feel that can considered a stereotype or due to my comprehension with my "ability" and being on the spectrum sometimes clouds and misjudges my understanding on these specific moments or aspects with racism and race status. Another part that it mentions in the section is the mention of "My schooling gave me no training in seeing myself as an oppressor, as an unfairly advantaged person, or as a participant in a damaged culture. I was taught to see myself as an individual whose moral state depended on her individual moral will. . . .Whites are taught to think of their lives as morally neutral, normative, and average, and also ideal, so that when we work to benefit others, this is seen as work which will allow “them” to be more like “us.” (p. 8)". I find that I relate to this and was taught somewhat this concept in my own rural public school setting years ago, and without any real discussion and importance for the students to understand our own race and racisms full impact.

Class

dfvedder — 2024-11-06 01:53:02 UTC

For the concept of my own personal understanding when it comes to my "class status", I see myself as an individual who grew up in both "Working Class" & "Middle Class". I first realized this status during my high school years, and especially when I was old enough to know the history and mature situation and truth of my father and the marriage relationship with my mother. More so that we started off being working class specifically with my mother and father before they gotten divorced, with my family at the time being "Working Class" due to my father being a drug addict and had no job, with my mother being the only adult within the house hold making one income alone. While also being on the fine line of poverty. Once my mother had gotten out of the unhealthy marriage, and for the safety of my sister and myself. This led to my family becoming "Middle Class". When we moved to Watertown into my grandparents and Uncle's house, with the income combined from all four of them being "Middle Class". Furthermore what paved the way and realization is more so now in the climate and economy we are in within these last four years. My mother being a single parent her entire adulthood, who would've struggled even more if we never moved into one house hold with my grandparents. My grandparents retirement money including my mothers weekly income plays a crucial role where we stand and getting by at the moment. Even more so with my grandparents retirement and both receiving a pension, especially my grandmother who gets two pensions. Another important factor is that my mother being a single parent impacted our financial environment, even with the help from my grandparents. Its very much an interesting moment to reflect on this and understanding my social class status, even being considered middle class my family is very much struggling with financial needs and challenges more than ever due to inflation and economy. I see so many friends of mine or people on social media that share or post every summer, going to another state or even a country for summer break, being given the opportunity I never have had, the last time I remember actually going on a vacation was way over 20 years ago, which was in 2004 at Disney world . Other scenarios that defines my own understanding of my class is the cars I see people drive, or my mothers view on what's considered expensive and isn't, as well the situation of not having money for updating and renovating the house we live in now, with a lot of the stuff we were able to do and update, resorted to my my grandfather and myself buying new windows for the house and installing it ourselves, since we couldn't afford a contractor, as well having to use a Home Depot card to pay for the windows, since we didnt have the financial means to pay upfront. The biggest impact of my status and how I see myself as of right now is us being behind on our house taxes due to the last four years of inflation and climate. It scary and made me very self aware were my family is at the moment. Expanding further into this is the choice of how live and display my own class status on a daily basis without knowing it. I unfortuantley find myself having an expensive taste, with always wanting the latest and greatest stuff out in the world. But in reality I find myself prioritizing what I can actually afford or see myself being able to have. I dress very simple and casual, with a lot of my clothing from certain name brand places, when able to with a lot of it being from clearance sections. Even at places like Marshalls and TjMax to save money and avoid buying straight from the company itself, other ways is my choice of going to thrift stores too at points to buy clothing or items. Other areas I find is that displays myself daily on my status is the car I drive, at one point driving a 2004 Honda Accord, but eventually found myself now driving a 2013 Lincoln MKZ which somewhat goes against my class status, since usually those vehicles are seen driving by Upper class families or young teens and adults, with mommy and daddy's money to their dispense ironically. The biggest take away is the town I live in defines my social class status, more so it puts me up against others who are more upper class in Watertown than me being middle class, an important note that I noticed from my time living in Watertown for almost half of my life is the ethnicity individuals play a crucial role in their privilege and status class. With a decent amount of people living in my town being mixed with a decent amount of foreign. More so Albanian families, who have these giant houses and long drive ways. As well the children of these wealthy people drive around BMW's, Mercedes, Audi's etc. Most of all friends I have who are from this nationality literally posting almost every month trips across countries, new stuff they get 24/7, and even new phones or post their story of at fancy restaurants too even. From my own privilege I see more lack of due to where I stand as of right now, with having both privilege and lack of as well. An ideal example that I can express is my chance of having more than others who are living in worst situations or in different towns then myself, Watertown is considered wealthy status and upper class. With having less crimes or incidents then other places such as Waterbury which is another city of its own, which is known to be very bad nowadays and dangerous to live in. Furthermore my lack of privilege is pretty much as I stated before with other people I know who are upper class and higher than myself being able to gain more, or experience lavish lifestyles I could dream of experiencing on the daily. As of my understanding when it comes to the impact of intersectionality within my social class experience, I would certainly say me being a white, straight and male had perks and advantages, from others who are the opposite gender or race of my own. As well that I noticed sometimes when in public how I get looked at or approached from others around me in a public setting too even. Especially when I drive around my Lincoln or go to a Starbucks sometimes. Lastly with my understanding on the course and path of social work practice can affect my interactions with clients, is certainly a challange I can see from a standpoint, with growing up having this financial support system and opportunities, even having my fair share of problems financially. I can see myself relating both ways for sure, not only due to my upbringing and status of class being both at one point Working and Middle class. My ethnicity and class aspect can be a negative impact and cause road blocks for being able to understand and relate to the best support or guidance with clients along the way. Due to many people I will work with have some form of financial struggle of their own and being most likely less fortunate than myself. And the biggest factor is their race and gender especially. Since other individuals from other classes and races who are non white are seen to have a harder time financially and individually too. I feel that when it comes to my career path it doesn't affect it in any way due to my goals of wanting to be a pediatric social worker, to help case manage in a clinical setting and support families with children who are in a hospital, this gives vast oppertunity's. Some possibilities for sure can be lower class below me seeking support and financial guidance if in poverty, can cause challenges and understanding of these situations, due to being in a different bracket of social economic status.

Sexual Orientation

dfvedder — 2024-11-06 03:03:29 UTC

Religious & Spirituality

dfvedder — 2024-11-06 03:04:10 UTC

When it comes to understanding my own religious and spirituality, it's certainly an aspect that I never really thought of deeply or focused on, when it comes to what I have experienced and understood growing up is that my family raised and identified as christians. With my first memory revolving around this is when I attended CCD for awhile, and furthermore was bathtized when I was first born too. My entire household was very religious and had much faith in god, I never necessarily identified as Christian but was told mostly from a very young age as being one. But can say that for during my early and late years of high school I never had thoughts or concepts when it comes to "God" the Bible or other apsects with christianity as a whole. I do know that my Uncle was the biggest religious individual I knew, more than my grandmother even. It was always interesting and unique when I look back and answering this as a type. But what I do know is a certain moment I can remember that made me explore my own religion and spirituallity was when my uncle suddenly gotten sick in the month of May in 2012. This was very nerve wrecking for my family, and the biggest outcome that came out of this was when we found out he suddenly had stage 4 brain cancer, that developed near and exactly around the area of his brain that controlled his entire functions. I remember how much this life event affected myself and my entire family, that whole summer of 2012 challenged our faith, religion and spirituality in my entire household. Including my uncle himself, as a 12 year old child this was such a big life event that impacted myself permanently how I perceive and understand my own religious and spirituality as a whole. By the end of the summer and towards the final weeks of September, my uncle unfortunately passed away to the brain cancer no matter how much he fought and struggled, with all the chemo he went through and the brain surgery that tried to remove most of the cancer tissue without killing him in the process. That moment completely changed and impacted permanently myself and my entire family, even to this day due to the extent of damage this loss within our household experienced. It made my grandmother question her faith in her religion to god for taking her only son away, and my sister went through a life crisis of almost committing suicide and had to be rushed into a hospital two weeks after my uncle passed away and we buried him. This really affected myself personally and understanding my religion and faith as a whole. I still consider myself as a Christian as of today, but not to the extent of my uncle once was and embraced it how he did. Furthermore when it comes to my spiritituality if feel that everyone in life from day one is trying to find some forum of purpose and sense of meaning whether its morality, well being or life itself. I found that ive been within that challenge and struggle all my life so far, and even more so now. My personal challenges and struggles make me question who I am or what I can make of myself for the foreseeable future, especially once I finish graduate school. I do know that I understand where I stand on some aspects of my spirituality in certain areas. Im a person who has morals and strong beliefs in doing good for others and the same will be returned to you. More so I always been the type of person to always ask people how they're doing, or being an emotional individual which contradicts, with myself being on the autism spectrum. I feel that my "Disability" even though im fortunate enough to be on the high functioning end and well put together. It makes my perspective of the world and myself even more different or unique than others as a whole. I find that some peoples version of life or aspects can be much different from my own. I certainly believe strongly and feel that me being on the spectrum puts so much in a new perspective and challenge for me no doubt, and with my purpose. I struggle with building relationships or staying in touch communication wise when building that foundation or friendship, which I feel its become apart of my journey and focus to improve and make stronger as I get older and mature. It's frustrating for me to feel like I have a purpose in life sometimes and more so due to me being on the spectrum and so many people don't ever know I am even. I do know that spirituality wise I want a find new purpose and life course within myself in the near future and improve my own understanding of who I am and my mindset. Furthermore I feel that I certainly lack privilege more so due to my spirituality aspect, due to the way my mind and brain is functioning with being on the spectrum as a whole, it makes it hard for me to really even answer this specific section on my spirituality to be honest. But furthermore when answering my understanding on the intersectionality aspect its certainly without a doubt known that some people like myself with their autism and my own understanding of spirituality as a white male can be both negative and positive depending the aspect of view. It's challenging to answer this specific question, for the most part. When it comes to my understanding of how my religion and spirituality can affect or impact my course path for social work, it can certainly be both a positive and negative. Since I was raised and taught to be accepting of others and also certain beliefs of "Sins". This could impact and conflict with my judgment without even realizing it, as well my choice of where id find myself within a practice setting for social work too. I feel that strongly my choice of work being a pediatric hospital as a social worker can bring more good than harm with my spirituality and religion to an "extent". I know that for an example if I were dealign with a grieving family of a child they lost from being sick terminally, and they are of another culture and religion. It can cause struggle of conflicting and how to approach supporting them and comforting them without bringing my own perspective, opinion or religious moral upbringing into the moment. Since all cultures and religions mourn in different aspects and situations for life and death as a whole.

Ability

dfvedder — 2024-11-06 03:04:34 UTC

For the idea and concept of my "Ability", and how I can see myself as a whole. Its more of that I feel that without a doubt me being diagnosed at a young age with "Autism" defined my understanding of my ability for my identity, its literally makes me who I am. And at the same time I hate it and makes me feel confused emotionally sometimes, at the same time im very fortunate to be able to do certain things people that aren't on the spectrum cannot do, and its more due to me being on the spectrum. My mindset and mental state is sufficient enough for understanding and comprehending stuff, but Im aware that I have my conflicts and negatives that comes with as well too. More so that I have a learning comprehension disability, which makes it challenging depending on the situation, material, course, class and assignments. Being challenging to understand, requiring me to need clarification more than once on something to be explained to me. And at the same time I'm aware that others don't have this challenges like myself. Other areas that define my ability is my knowledge and strengths that come with being on the spectrum, with being very tech savy and knowledgeable on computer based software or complex tasks. It's a blessing and a curse at the same time. Other aspects when answering this is my realizing and it making more sense when I was finally Evaluated with being diagnosed on the spectrum. It made everything about myself much more sense and understanding to an extent. I can also acknowledge that other challenges with my ability is having also ADHD, Anxiety & Learning comprehension disorder. These all impact my daily functioning whether its sitting in a two and half hour lecture at a campus class, my work and school life balance, as well even far as affecting my field placement unfortunately. Making it to where I needed to take things back and slow down my progress with the MSW program, and possibly looking into chaining my program to the three year version instead of the two year version. Due to my learning comprehension, and needing more time to understand some stuff sometimes. Its discouraging and relates to my answer on Lack of privilege, but more so that at the same time all these flaws give me the motivation and challenge of pushing myself even harder. Which is what I've been doing my whole life up to this very moment. I can say that my privilege and positive side when it comes to my ability is being on the spectrum Im more entailed with being a quick learner or catching onto sometime I'm learning if I'm really interested in it. Other aspects as well being the moment that defined my "Ability" which was when I was 11 years old and I almost went to court, for hacking the computer servers of the video game company "Activision". It was and still is to this very day a defining moment for my ability and mental state. It was a scary and life changing moment for myself which could've turned sour or really bad for myself and my family unfortunately. With my mother getting a letter in the mail, for a cease and desist letter, as well a mail from our internet provider showing what I did and illegally did as well. With this whole situation going far as lawyers representing the company having a legal meeting with my mother and her lawyer seeking to hold me accountable and bring me to trail for what I did. Stating to my mother and her lawyer at the time, that I was seen as a threat to their entire company and state of their business practice within the video game industry. It was a serious moment and life changing as well for myself at 11 years old, and they wanted to go far as withdrawing our rights permanently to any forum of internet or technology accesses forever. The biggest moment was even wanting to hold me in jail, but due to my age they also considered putting my mother in my place to serve the time. Fortunately enough my mother and her lawyer were able to talk the other three lawyers representing the company out of pursuing this lawsuit and court trail. This moment really defined what my capabilities and abilities truly were and how far I could go with myself, even with my faults or struggles of my disability. Furthermore when it comes to the intersectionality aspect id say my communication skills and social life is a challenge due to being on the spectrum and people known to be on it, very poor with building relationships or friendships that will last or stay in touch. Which is something I'm still figuring out and improving on to this very day. Expanding on this when it comes to how my ability will impact me with client, or my career path. It can without a doubt be a challenge and unique opportunity for understanding. I do know that I am a person who likes a structured setting and more professional, this relates to my idea of how I want to pursue pediatric social work, since I find myself leaning towards it due to my mindset and being on the spectrum and comprehension too. As well I feel that my entire ability reflects why I wanted to even go into this field to begin with in the first place. Lastly my ability was greatly affected from a young age when I had nine reconstructive surgeries as a child from the age of 5 to 11 years old non stop related to my ears nose and throat. Which strongly relates to why I wanna be in a pediatrics department for social work, since I feel my ability and experience personally I could relate to this kids who are going through the same life changing moments as well.