| I do not want to go to bed. 
I like to stay up late. 
I'm bouncing off the bedroom walls 
and, frankly, feeling great!  

I'm dancing like a maniac 
instead of counting sheep. 
My mom says, "Time for bed." 
My dad yells, "Get your butt to sleep!"  

I'm not sure what my bottom 
has to do with anything, 
but that's okay because I'd rather 
jump around and sing.  

I don't know what it was 
that made me feel so wide awake. 
Could it have been the Red Bull 
and the double-chocolate cake?  

I wonder if the seven cups 
of coffee plus dessert 
of Hershey bars and Skittles 
are what left me this alert?  

Whatever it turns out to be 
that made me feel this right, 
I hope I track it down so 
I can stay up every... ZZZzzzzz 

--Kenn Nesbitt

 | My dog is running faster 
than he's ever run before 
in a supersonic circle 
in the middle of the floor.  

He started somewhat slowly 
but he quickly gathered steam, 
and continued gaining speed 
until his spinning was extreme.  

He's turned into a whirlwind, like a funnel cloud of fog, 
so it's hard to even focus on my whirling dervish dog.  

He's like a small tornado 
or a canine hurricane.
 Why it doesn't make him dizzy 
I'm unable to explain.  

I only know he has this 
most unusual of traits, 
and he loves to chase his tail around 
while wearing roller skates. 

--Kenn Nesbitts.

don't be too surprised

if he starts behaving strangely

once he knows he's motorized.

 

He may act a bit bizarrely.

He may dress a little weird.

He might buy a leather jacket

and then grow a honkin' beard.

 

When he straps a helmet on his head

and boots upon his feet,

then you'll see him pop a wheelie

and go racing down the street.

 

Pretty soon he'll find he's fond 

of doing motorcycle tricks.

He'll be jumping over cars and trucks

and buses just for kicks.

 

He'll start working at the circus

where he'll take away your breath

as he rides with other rodents

in the flaming cage of death.

 

When he accidentally crashes

he'll have no more fun and games;

just the screech of twisting metal

as his bike explodes in flames.

 

And without his motorcycle

he'll be fired from his job.

He'll become depressed and lonely

and a sad and smelly slob.

 

And the only way to save him

from this misery and pain

is to buy another motorbike

so he can start again.

 

So remember this advice:

Don't even trust him with your keys.

If you need to give a mouse a gift,

it's best to stick with cheese.

--Kenn Nesbitt 

She had so many children, she didn’t know what to do.

She gave them some broth without any bread,

then whipped them all soundly and sent them to bed.

There was an odd woman who lived in a shoe.
 Which, I think you’ll agree, was a dumb thing to do.
 Her husband divorced her. Her kids ran away.
 The shoe smells disgusting. Why on earth did she stay?
 

There was an old lady who lived in a zoo.
 She never got bored, she had so much to do.

She climbed with the monkeys. She swam with the eels.
 She talked to the parrots and played with the seals.

The old lady’s happy; she never gets blue.
 And that’s why she’ll never move back to a shoe.

 There was an old woman Who lived in a shoe;

 With so many children, What else could she do?

Their home had no windows, No doors, and no locks—
 The kids were all happy But smelled like old socks.

 
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,

 which wasn’t too bad when the winter winds blew.
 But the strong summer sun was too hot to handle,
 so she packed up her stuff and moved to a sandal.

the mouse ran up the clock.

The clock struck one,

the mouse ran down,

hickory dickory dock.

 

Hickory, dickory, dock,
 a mouse jumped in my sock.
 He wiggled his nose
 and tickled my toes,
 which gave me quite a shock!

 Hickory, dickory, dock!

 A goat just ate my sock.
 Then took my shirt
 for his dessert.
 Hickory, dickory, dock!

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the king’s horses and the king’s men

couldn’t put Humpty together again.

 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
 Humpty Dumpty made a prank call.
 Now all the king’s horses
 and all the king’s men
 won’t answer the phone
 if he calls them again.
 

Humpty Dumpty laid by the pool.
 Humpty Dumpty thought he was cool.
 He wouldn’t wear sunscreen.
 He thought it was dumb.
 Now he’s served at McDonalds
 With ham on a bun.

went to bed with his trousers on.

One shoe off and the other shoe on,

diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son John.

 

Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son Scooter,
 played around with my computer.
 He pressed the buttons and hit the keys.
 Now it only prints Chinese.
 

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie,

kissed the girls and made them cry.

When the boys  came out to play

Georgie Porgie ran away.

 

Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie,
 Kissed the girls and made them cry.
 His bad breath drove all the girls away.
 Now he gargles twice a day.

Hey, diddle, diddle,

the cat and the fiddle,

the cow jumped over the moon.

The little dog laughed

to see such sport,

and the dish ran away

with the spoon.

 

Hey diddle, diddle,
 this rhyme is a riddle:
 Can a cow fly over the moon?
 I bet you’ll say, "No,"
 but the answer is, "Yes"—
 if she’s riding a hot-air balloon.

with fleece as white as snow.

And everywhere that Mary went

the lamb was sure to go.

 

Mary had a little lamb,
 With fleas as white as snow.

And everywhere that Mary went

those fleas were sure to go.

 

Mary had a little dog.
 Its fur was black as night.
 And everyone that Mary met
 The dog was sure to bite.

It followed her to school one day,
 Which was against the rule.
 The dog bit Mary’s teacher’s leg,
 So they threw her out of school.

Mary had a little frog.
 The frog croaked every day.
 And Mary always wondered
 What the frog was trying to say.
 To freshen up the critter’s breath,
 She fed the frog some mints.
 And when she gave the frog a kiss,
 It turned into a prince.
 Mary and the prince were married,
 And on that happy day,
 Mary asked the prince just what
 The frog had tried to say.
 “Mary,” said the handsome prince,
 “I’m going to tell you true:
 When the frog croaked it was saying,
 ‘I love you’.”

Mary had a little lamb,
 but it was not a fool.
 As Mary walked he stopped a car
 and hitched a ride to school.