Midterm Exemplar by Christina Beckel

Naiya Stephens - Best

2015-01-15 17:59:12 UTC

Something that I loved was the way that the writer included a lot of evidence from the text.

Ms. Beckel - WORST

cbeckel — 2015-01-15 18:00:03 UTC

This writer did not _______. They could have said ______.

Ms. Beckel - BEST

cbeckel — 2015-01-15 18:00:32 UTC

Something that I loved was the way they ____________. For example...

Ms. Beckel - Best and Worst

cbeckel — 2015-01-15 18:01:03 UTC

(combine both observations into one post)

Juliana B.K - Best

2015-01-15 18:01:15 UTC

Something that i loved was the way they the person used lots of descriptive words and that the writer always related back to the topic " imparts wisdom to the adolescent."

Isaiah K. best

2015-01-15 18:01:24 UTC

something that i loved about the essay was how the points seemed to low from one to another making it easy to understand and it brought the story together as a whole instead of a bunch of choppy peices

Anisa S. - Best

2015-01-15 18:01:35 UTC

Something that I loved was the word choice that they used. For example, when they describe all of the characters problems, they used really great word choice to describe it.

adalyah w. ----best

2015-01-15 18:02:01 UTC

something i loved about the essay is good word choice and descriptive writing and how she compared each of the characters and how the connect to each other

Cheyanne Watkins

2015-01-15 18:02:28 UTC

Something that I loved about the essay was how descriptive it was and how all the evidence they used from the text they supported it. For example, the story was also laid out nicely, so all the paragraphs had a nice smooth flow when you read the story completely.

Zack W. ---Best

2015-01-15 18:03:04 UTC

Best- The best thing was the strong use of vocabulary

Isabelle J- Best

2015-01-15 18:03:08 UTC

Something that I loved was how the first sentence of the introduction connected to the rest of the essay, without giving too much detail. It made you want to read more, since it just hinted at the rest of it.

Kaitlyn L- Best

2015-01-15 18:03:11 UTC

Best- her word choice was perfect like she didn't use to big of words or boring or plain words and i also like how descriptive it was and it was like I was reading all the stories over again but it was shortened

Mollie B.

2015-01-15 18:15:25 UTC

Best- something that I thought was good that the author did was the hook. It really got my attention.

Worst- The author did not compare the characters experiences in her body

Devin C. Best

2015-01-15 18:15:33 UTC

The best thing about the essay was his/her word choice.

Kendyl J.- Best

2015-01-15 18:15:35 UTC

Something that I loved was all of the details and vocabulary, and the hook was great!

Valeria L. - Best

2015-01-15 18:15:46 UTC

The best part was the hook and the 360 ending. I also liked the vocabulary that the author used. For example "....was so traumatized that she quit speaking for a time." I like how the writer used the word traumatized in this sentence.

Zack W. ---Worst

2015-01-15 18:15:54 UTC

The worst thing was that he/she would make small errors every once in a while (Punctuation, Capitalization, Quotation signs)

Juan H - Best

2015-01-15 18:16:03 UTC

Something that I loved about this essay was all the information and the details that it gave to me that made me understand a lot of the stories that were being compared.

Naiya Stephens - Worst

2015-01-15 18:16:25 UTC

The one thing that I didn't like about the essay was I think that the writer should have made a 360 ending and tied everything together more.

Juliana B.K -Worst

2015-01-15 18:17:12 UTC

The worst thing about the essay was that they could of had added a little bit more support to there explanation, more evidence would help bring out the subject more. Like when he/she was talking about the Drummer Boy of Shiloh he put in some unnecessary quotes like “run off from home or joined legitimately, boy?” instead of putting how he was also crying that night. Its just the tiny details that count.

Isabelle J.- Worst

2015-01-15 18:17:22 UTC

The worst was just that there needed to be more examples in each paragraph to support each point. There was only one from one story per paragraph. More from different stories would've improved it

Kendyl J.-Worst

2015-01-15 18:17:37 UTC

the one thing I didn't like was how the story flowed,It seemed like there was no transition.

Cyra W.

2015-01-15 18:17:47 UTC

Best-Something that I loved was the word choice. For example " showed Marguerite the importance of words that go beyond the page."

Worst-This writer didn't have enough explanation. They could have had more with saying thing like "Marguerite had good influences at home..." well how as she better influences at home?

Kaitlyn L- Worst

2015-01-15 18:18:27 UTC

I feel like they used a little bit too much evidence and some of it didn't really need to be there, and they just put in stuff that doesn't relate to the objective of the essay. And then they didn't even put enough support the evidence that she had just put.

Isabelle J.- Best

2015-01-15 18:19:17 UTC

Something that was one of the best was how the writer explained each example with detail and gave background information on the story the evidence was from.

Anisa S. - Worst

2015-01-15 18:19:36 UTC

The writer did not use many quotes to give evidence. They can improve by adding more to support their statement.

Valeria L. - Worst

2015-01-15 18:20:48 UTC

The worst part was lack of explanation for the evidence.

adalyhah w --worst

2015-01-15 18:20:56 UTC

worst-i think she could have put more examples and more supporting details

Kendyl J.-Best and Worst

2015-01-15 18:22:16 UTC

Although she had a lack of transition, she still had a great hook, with advanced vocabulary, and very little mistakes(such as punctuation, quotations, and capitalization)

Devin C. Worst

2015-01-15 18:23:54 UTC

The writer could have shortened his/her introduction.

Devin C. Best

2015-01-15 18:28:09 UTC

The writer clearly introduced the topic by saying how people and characers develop.

Konnor N. Best

2015-01-19 17:24:11 UTC

I love how the author uses tons of descriptive words while always relating back to the topic at hand.

Konnor N. Worst

2015-01-19 17:25:32 UTC

The author did not use much evidence and support to their statements. adding more quotes and such would have helped