The bar chart illustrates the proportion of people in Malaysia and Singapore holding different levels of science qualification.

Overall, it can be seen that the majority of people in both countries had no science qualification, while only a tiny minority obtained a master’s degree. Malaysia tended to have a slightly higher proportion of people with no qualification or only school leaving exam, whereas Singapore showed higher figures for Bachelor’s exam.

In Malaysia, around 65% of people had no qualification, compared with just 60% in Singapore. Approximately 35% of Malaysians had completed school leaving tests, exceeding the figure for Singapore by about 5%.

By contrast, Bachelor’s degrees were more common in Singapore which is roughly 15% of Singaporeans compared with about 10% in Malaysia. Master’s degrees were the least common in both countries , accounting for only a negligible percentage about 5%

Overall, it is evident that Germany, Spain, and the United Kingdom experienced upward trends in renewable energy production, whereas France, the United States, and Canada showed slight declines or fluctuations.  CÂU 1 dùng được câu ghép các thứ và viết được bao quát nhưng mà hơi dài dòng, ví dụ: France, the United States, and Canada => the other nations chẳng hạn

Ngoài ra, overview 2 câu: câu 1 xu hướng, câu 2 vị trí, mà em chưa có em :3 Overview k tốt thì sau viết hay thế nào cũng được Task Response band 5 thôi em nha

In 2010, Germany led the group/chart with around 9% of renewable energy, followed by Spain and the UK at approximately 7% and 6%, respectively. Vì có 2 số liệu, nên em có thể tham khảo viết thế này luôn: compared with approximately 7% in Spain and 6% in the UK.

France and Canada both saw similar figures at just under 5%, while the US was the smallest, at around 3%. Em biết cách nhóm 2 nước với nhau => good!

By 2013, Germany had increased significantly to nearly 16% (dùng được quá khứ hoàn thành had + V3 (by + năm) => tốt).

Spain and the UK also rose, reaching about 10% and 9%, respectively. => chung chung => cụ thể băng Ving (tốt)

By contrast, France witnessed a small decline, dropping from 5% to around 4%. Canada followed a fluctuating pattern, but its final share was slightly lower than its starting point. Similarly, the United States saw no change, remaining at the bottom with just under 3% in 2013.

Về cơ bản, cô thấy bài em tốt, trừ overview, nhưng chính vì thế cô cũng băn khoăn 1 chút là em tự viết hết đúng k nhỉ?

Some people argue that environmental challenges are beyond the capacity of individuals to solve, while others believe that government efforts alone cannot succeed without personal action. This essay will discuss both views before explaining why I think cooperation between governments and individuals is the most effective approach.

First, => ON THE ONE HAND? many people bỏ luôn consider environmental issues such as climate change, global warming, or deforestation too large for individuals to tackle. For example, one person reducing their plastic use may seem insignificant compared to the millions of tons of plastic waste produced globally each year. Furthermore, large-scale solutions such as renewable energy investment, strict pollution laws, or international agreements can only be carried out by governments, as they have the authority and resources to implement them effectively.

On the other hand, government policies cannot achieve meaningful results without the active participation of individuals. Laws against pollution, for instance, would be useless if citizens do not comply with them. Likewise, campaigns to reduce carbon emissions rely heavily on people choosing public transport, recycling waste, or conserving energy at home. In this sense, small actions by individuals, when multiplied across millions of people, can generate a powerful collective impact that supports governmental initiatives.

In my opinion, the best solution lies in collaboration. Governments must establish policies and provide infrastructure, but individuals must also take responsibility for their own habits. (nếu em viết kiểu này thì nên tách ra body 3 em ạ; còn cô thì cô sẽ chọn 1 view thôi dù tất nhiên k view nào hoàn hảo nhưng vậy sẽ rõ lập trường TASK RESPONSE ĐIỂM CAO HƠN) và em tham khảo kỹ cách viết bài PEEC body 1 và PEEL body 2)

In conclusion, while some believe only governments can solve environmental issues and others emphasize individual responsibility, I believe that a combination of both is essential. 

1. Đoạn 1 thiếu chút “So What”

• Đang có ví dụ plastic rồi, nhưng chưa mở rộng ý nghĩa xã hội/hệ quả.
  → Gợi ý thêm vào 1 câu như:

“This could make people feel powerless, reducing public pressure on governments to take action.”
→ Vậy là đủ chiều sâu, đủ Task Response Band cao nha.

2. Đoạn 2 nên thêm ví dụ cụ thể

• Vy nói đúng nhưng hơi nông á. Cô gợi ý thêm ví dụ thực tế như:

“For instance, Sweden’s strong recycling culture even allows it to import waste from other countries.”

Em viết bài hảaaa. Cô cảm giác như bài này ở đâuuuu đóooo