My notebook by Julian Eberharter (KZN)

Gat blog, we were liars, summer 17 -- Julian

julianeberharter1 — 2025-05-23 08:42:01 UTC

Poem- nothings right

julianeberharter1 — 2025-05-23 09:01:25 UTC

I read Emerson under the summer sky,
Trying to learn how to live, not lie.

The others smile and play their part,
But I carry questions in my heart.

"To be yourself," the pages say,
But it’s not that simple here each day.

I want to speak, I want to fight,
For love, for change, for what i believe is right.

i want to scream but i have no mouth

empty hope that I get, there is just drouth

But this is their world, not mine to claim
A house of stories, and none take blame.

my feelings

julianeberharter1 — 2025-05-23 09:02:56 UTC

I think of Frankenstein, and how the monster just wanted to be loved, to belong. But he was too aware of his own construction. That’s me—pieced together from borrowed cultures, borrowed books, and borrowed summers. The Sinclairs pretended I fit in. I pretended I didn’t care.

needed, but unwated change

julianeberharter1 — 2025-05-23 09:07:49 UTC

I fight for change, yet i join the fire, which destroyed everything i've made progress on, deep down i know im just as flawed and afraid of the truth, we're all conscious about it, yet im the only one to try and admit it.

julianeberharter1 — 2025-05-23 09:10:13 UTC

this song describes my feelings, about the fact that im being silently pushed away by the sinclairs, yet they act like they care

julianeberharter1 — 2025-05-23 09:13:48 UTC

the island

julianeberharter1 — 2025-05-23 09:14:07 UTC

the island used to be a safe-space, a place of certainty yet the older i get the more questions i have, i dont feel well anymore and i dont want to go back