Theology 12 Digital Journal by Claire Rath (Con)

First Week of School Sep. 8

crath24 — 2023-09-01 12:28:45 UTC

The first week of school was way stranger than I expected it to be. I got into an argument with one of my friends from another school, and now she's talking to me less than before. But, I'm getting closer and really establishing a better group here with some friends. I had so much fun at Senior Sunrise, and I was honestly dreading it before. I laughed and ran around with my friends and I'm honestly having so much fun. I've had two songs stuck in my head nearly all week: See You Again by Tyler, the Creator (ft. Kali Uchis) specifically the chord progression at "I wonder if you look both ways when you cross my mind". The other song Square Hammer by Ghost and the bass line is so good and really just pulls me into the song.

I'm not sure how these songs link to how this week has been so far but they both are just the best and remind me how much I love music. In class this week we learned about how our passion and our vocations are linked and I honestly think I want to go into some sort of job where I can work at a live music venue. Something about hearing anyone play live is the best and it really touches people's lives. I love that with all the technology we have I can listen to any band but something just grabs me when I listen to live music, being able to literally feel the beat.

Religion is for Lovers Sep. 12

crath24 — 2023-09-12 12:44:57 UTC

How is religion for lovers when the Cleveland Catholic Church is literally banning expression for young LGBTQ kids. We learned that religion is for lovers but I do believe that people aren't understanding what they are doing at all. I'm honestly shaking. I believe religion is for true lovers, people who give for the sake of giving and don't expect anything back. As someone who does identify within the LGBTQ+ community with a friend group that is mostly queer and a similarly identifying s/o I'm honestly scared.
When I was younger I was terrified of coming out and how other people would react and how I thought I was going to be shunned in a way literally for just liking girls. I'm infuriated that this continues to happen and all I can think about is if this was in effect when I was in grade school. Looking back I probably wouldn't be here writing this to be completely transparent, middle school was terrifying with my 'best' friend outing me to nearly half the grade for fun I can't begin to imagine how this act would play into this.
Religion is for those who care. Religion is for those who can realize they affect other people with their actions and words. Religion is not for these people.

One song that I can think about is United in Grief because it's been stuck in my head but also the lines
"I hope you find some peace of mind in this lifetime
Tell them, tell 'em, tell them the truth
I hope you find some paradise (tell them, tell 'em the truth)
Tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em, tell them your-
I've been goin' through somethin'
One thousand, eight hundred and 55 days
I've been goin' through somethin'
Be afraid" and overall I hope we can tell them the truth that this whole thing is a load of bull and they should be afraid.

Impossible Dream for the World Sep. 22

crath24 — 2023-09-22 12:14:22 UTC

My impossible dream for the world is for everyone to chill out and to make sure everyone has the same opportunities no matter what. Everyone has at least one 'controversial' opinion and personally I think that stupid. How you view something shouldn't be seen as controversial especially when it comes to people's rights. (Ex: Opinions on Abortion) I think we all just need to do one huge circle and shut up and listen to each other as a human species. I want people to understand that just because someone doesn't agree with you all the time; it doesn't immediately make them a bad person or a threat.
The second part of my impossible dream is everyone having the same opportunities. Kids don't have a say in their parents' lives before they are born, and kids can't control where they live and if they are going to have less opportunities because of that. It's stupid and it just feeds into the horrible system we have that keeps this cycle.
This question reminds me of altering the world and almost "Playing God" so I've included an absolute bop called Playing God and it's by a fantastic band named Polyphia.

How do we measure our lives? Sep.26

crath24 — 2023-09-26 12:26:12 UTC

How do we measure our lives? Everyone measures theirs differently as everyone is different. That's the point though, isn't it? I measure my life in memories, photographs, and playlists. Pictures of the best days of my life and memories of my favorite people for those rough days I can't remember what the point is. I love looking back and seeing how happy I am with the people I am around and reminiscing about anything and everything.
For pictures I look back and see the first time I met my s/o and how I knew I fell in love; and I look back and see old friends that always knew how to make me laugh no matter what. I see how much fun I have and it sometimes convinces me to leave the house as a reminder of how much fun it is and how not stressful it is.
I also make spotify playlists for any and every occasion; and it shows. I have over 300 playlists and I've made playlists to put my feelings into some sort of tangiable explanation. My favorite is when I make playlists with other people for certian hang outs, or when someone makes a playlist to show how they feel.

Linked is a playlist I made on Saturday for a band party where a group of us ended up laying down outside lookin' at the stars.

Exploring Opinions and How they have changed Oct. 4

crath24 — 2023-10-04 12:25:21 UTC

A few opinions I had in the past I learned from school: rich/well financed families are stuck up, Chose life programs demonizing depression and mental illness, and believing that abortions were bad and you would die if you had sex before marriage.
Obviously, all of these are not true. Growing up and struggling with mental health and extreme anxiety literally gave me a first hand experience to learn that those with mental illness or mental health problems aren't going to hell. But, the harmful idea that I was going to hell for simply existing and trying to live just horrifically fed into that.
The idea that rich kids are always stuck up and rude also isn't true, that was just my experience at grade school and what I believe was my jealousy for those who knew they were financially stable. Hell, if little me knew I was dating a "Rich kid" now I would be pissed haha. But, in all seriousness how much money you have isn't a character trait and it doesn't immediately make you a bad person.
Lastly; the idea that abortions are bad. There was a group that would come in and do a presentation on how bad abortions were and they had us sign contracts saying we were promising I would never get an abortion. Looking back that was wild. I never would sign something like that now; and abortions are not horrible so my opinions have heavily changed.

Something that hasn't changed however is one of my favorite long time songs, Moonlight Serenade by Glenn Miller. To the point that when I was younger I literally wouldn't eat dinner unless Glenn Miller was playing.

Who in your life has been a voice of Great Wisdom and Insight Oct. 17

crath24 — 2023-10-17 12:17:12 UTC

I guess my mom has been a source of insight in many situations. I'm in the middle of an argument with my s/o that's lasted a few days that's most likely going to end in us breaking up. I've talked to my mom a lot more during this time because I just don't know how to feel about the situation. My mom has helped me out a lot with just listening and just telling the truth even if I don't want to hear it.
My mom has always been the honest type and not necessarily always the nicest but it's always for a good cause. My mom has taught me over the past few days that I have to really take care of myself before I can take care of others and other people's feelings. These past few days especially have been rough but I know at least my mom and my friends are with me no matter what.

My mom doesn't like her picture being taken so I'm including a Beastie Boys song because she loves it and anytime I listen to Beastie Boys I think of her.

Land of Confusion Nov.2

crath24 — 2023-11-02 12:33:43 UTC

Overall I think this is a really good song, and it actually has a lot of different commentary about events in the world and how the modern world functions. I'm going to try to cover a lot of what the lyrics are referencing and what I think they mean and how they relate to us today and possibly other songs.

First to start off, another song that has a similar message is "We Didn't Start the Fire". They are calling out in "Land of Confusion" that people are causing too much chaos and even though the danger is 'gone' the fire and threat is still there.

"But I can hear the marching feet They're moving into the street / Now, did you read the news today?/ They say the danger has gone away / But I can see the fire's still alight / They're burning into the night / There's too many men, too many people / Making too many problems / And there's not much love to go around / Can't you see this is the land of confusion?"

Meanwhile in the chorus of "We Didn't Start the Fire" it's describing that there's always been problems and there will continue to be problems if we keep functioning like this.

"We didn't start the fire / It was always burning, since the world's been turning / We didn't start the fire / No, we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it"

Back to the original song, it speaks to how we are supposed to rely on people to fix things for us, referencing Superman and how we as people are losing control of ourselves and each other.

"Oh, Superman, where are you now? / When every thing's gone wrong somehow? / Men of steel, these men of power

I'm losing control by the hour

This is the time, this is the place

What is it that you are looking forward to the most in 2024 Dec. 13

crath24 — 2023-12-13 13:17:45 UTC

The first thing that immediately comes to my mind when thinking about 2024 is the Hozier concert Coryn and I are going to. I love Hozier and it would be a dream come true to watch him perform live. Coryn has genuinely become one of my best friends over this semester and I'm really glad this class gave us the opportunity to be so close. I also am just generally looking forward to more concerts in general whether it be The Vumms or finally getting my job at the Winchester.

Another thing I'm looking forward to is getting out of here. My best friend is in college at the same college I'm planning on going to and I can't wait to see her and actually be able to hang out with her other than just break. Plus, I want to get out of this environment and get to know some new people. The community here is fantastic but I'm starting to feel lowkey claustrophobic here.

One more thing I'm looking forward to is also turning 18. I'm planning on getting a traditional dragonfly tattoo and also getting some new piercings because I know my parents would never let me do that even though I've had the money and am willing to deal with any consequences.

Overall I'm just looking forward to getting out of here and hanging out with my friends and just being myself.

My song choice is Hozier covering one of my favorite Arctic Monkeys songs. I found it at the right time and it means the world to me now because I so heavily related to it when I found it.

Last Journal Entry :( Poem Jan.9

crath24 — 2024-01-09 13:20:24 UTC

Write a poem with the words sacred, goddess, connection, and love OR freedom, power, justice, voice, and speak.

Looking up at the stars,

Peering up at the sky and laughing with friends laying in the dewy grass.

Our goddess moon watching over us, keeping us safe in our travels by day or by night.

Oh to love as a moon loves, silently supporting and smiling over us.

How can you not feel a connection to the moon?

Her gentle rays, scared on the silent nights, and blessings on the rowdy ones.

Looking up at the stars, how are you not drawn to the moon?