Any thoughts on best ways to revisit guiding principles for small groups after they tend to fizzle over time? You can offer a group check-in and re-visit and ground in the agreed upon guiding principles.

Video reply from Tucker!

My experience as an ally was that things went really well for the first half of the family gatherings -- everybody respected each other and the guidelines we set for each other.  But then things started getting difficult for the Leaders. Some were having positive experiences and some were struggling. Some had jobs, so they didn't come to FG, or they came only occasionally. Some liked their skills tracks and some didn't. 

Increasingly, the feeling of camaraderie and commitment to the small group took a back seat to Leaders taking care of themselves however they could. The "lived experiences" of the Leaders meant that they threw out the guidelines and acted however they thought they could help themselves best -- and not just every man for himself, but doing what they had learned in some very unhealthy childhood environments just to stay afloat. Most of the Leaders brought a lot more lived-trauma and resulting (and understandable) willingness to abandon the guidelines to get their own needs met. As examples, they carried on exclusive side-talk, or they shut down completely, or they overtalked  and interrupted others, or they spent the time scrolling through their phones, or they left the room for long periods of time, etc. Reminding them of our guiding principles didn't help and came off as patronizing and condescending. The group was no longer a group. The family stopped being a family.

In a "normal" workplace, I can see a lot of your choreography working well. But it seems like these are people who have been forced to do whatever works best for them in order to keep their heads above water.

How do we keep them engaged, interested, feeling loved, invested in the group?