Spoorthy Google Sites Peer Feedback 2019 - 2020 by Spoorthy Gundra https://padlet.com/26sgundra/55w737cz4ea1 Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2019-12-05 16:40:25 UTC 2019-12-16 16:53:20 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/icons/Apple.png Realistic Fiction Narrative-Elyse 26elamberti https://padlet.com/26sgundra/55w737cz4ea1/wish/421693551 Walking home I hear Amanda and her boyfriend yelling at me and saying that  I am a loser. “Why can't you leave me alone.'' I say to myself,  scared that they might hear me . Oh I hope they did not hear that, I really do not want them to come and hurt me more. I turn to make sure they’re gone. I quickly see them coming up to me. I realized that so fast that  I turn and run to my home.  I   think I ran as  fast as a cheetah to reach my home. Ugh I want them to leave me alone why can't anything  in my life happen the way I want I wanted my mom to get a good job but she is struggling .
I like how the reader can tell that Liza gets bullied a lot.(Not that, getting bullied is a good thing. I can feel her pain and that makes me really into your story. I specifically like the paragraph above because I feel like you get a lot of things about Liza life. For one she gets bullied everyday and two her mom is struggling to get a job. One wish I have is that you don't just say Liza mom is struggling and stop talking about it. I wish you would keep describing her life away from school so the reader can relate to Liza. Otherwise good job!

]]> 2019-12-09 16:30:35 UTC https://padlet.com/26sgundra/55w737cz4ea1/wish/421693551 Star: A star i have for is i love how you emphasize all the dialogue like with the alarm clock in the begging of the day.Star: I also like how you made something bad happen to liza and when she turned around tom and amanda would be behind her and taunting her. Wish: One wish i had at the end of the story was that it didn't really make sense that amanda would just stop bullying you because she knows your not weak show don't tell what makes liza strong. https://padlet.com/26sgundra/55w737cz4ea1/wish/422257638 2019-12-10 16:28:50 UTC https://padlet.com/26sgundra/55w737cz4ea1/wish/422257638 Spoorthy, wonderful narrative! A strength that you have in your narrative is that you add a lot of inner thoughts. One of my favorite inner thoughts is when it said, “ I think she realized that I am not weak and I can now stand up to her.” When you add that to your story, it made me figure out that people can be very brave when it comes to certain things in life. To add on to that, I like how you showed that Lisa can change easily when it comes to different emotions and different perspectives. It really made your story AWESOME! Plus it could inspire people.Showing that once you see what someone else’s perspective is, its a great view to look on something. You really made Lisa a superhero! Also I absolutely adore your theme! It’s inspiring and it can make someone think. However a tiny suggestion I could offer you is to add a tiny bit of detail into some of those sentences. It leaves me wondering how quickly she can get from one place to another. I also have one question to ask you, Where did you get the inspiration to write this story? But overall, I love it! :) 26knitro https://padlet.com/26sgundra/55w737cz4ea1/wish/422340052 2019-12-10 18:28:39 UTC https://padlet.com/26sgundra/55w737cz4ea1/wish/422340052 Spoorthy Gundra 26sgundra https://padlet.com/26sgundra/55w737cz4ea1/wish/424618630 Hi past fifth graders I wanted to give you a piece of advice about your personal narrative Make sure you do overwhelm your story with diolouge and make sure you transitions make sense]]> 2019-12-16 16:51:28 UTC https://padlet.com/26sgundra/55w737cz4ea1/wish/424618630