Once I’d gotten to my classroom, knowing that I was expected to create a piece of writing that was meant to portray and expose all of the feelings like anxiousness or fear, that I couldn't really bring myself to focus on. I could only find myself managing to write down a prototype paragraph every few moments, only to erase it seconds later and start again. When I’d thought about my first impression, I could only formulate feelings of ambivalence and confusion; attempts to write any sort of story that talked about anything too specific just seemed disconnected from anything I could actually muster up; all I could do was attempt to figure out how I could portray exactly what I’d felt on paper, and write it in a way that was easy to understand, while still meeting the writing’s given criteria and rubric. 

 After a number of minutes that seemed to simply drag on for hours on end, just before my time to create my draft in class was up, I’d realized exactly what I was in line to write about. While the idea in my mind was seemingly perfect, or at the very least satisfactory, I still worried about how others would perceive my writing, it made all the sense in the world to me, but I had the feeling that there was still something slightly off and oddly confusing about my work, but after a while, I came to appreciate that something, the uniqueness to my particular piece 

After getting to work, I managed to create a document that surprisingly captured the message I'd tried my hardest to convey. It took a lot of work and creative thinking, and I believe that I managed to make my feelings clear for an audience to understand; I wanted to relay that I didn't really have any special or particular first impression of Darrow that I could identify (All I could remember is enjoying the school almost imminently after my first visit, but that wasn't what I wanted to talk about; it seemed too typical) There was almost a total sense of ambivalence as I wrote my paper, it almost seemed as though I was 'looking into the past through a pair of kaleidoscope glasses'

This year, one thing that I think I'll remember about my own organization and work ethic is that I tend to work best when I have the ability to freely spill my thoughts to see what information I'm working with. I also work well when I have the ability to simply stay focused and engulfed on one specific thing that I’m working on. 

One thing that I accomplished this year was figuring out how to be more confident and involved in the classroom and in the community. I'm a lot more comfortable with the idea of sharing my thoughts with other people and staying involved with conversations that go on within different classes and with others.

In my historical methods class this year, one of the kindest things that anyone has done for me was more or less motivate me when I needed it the most. There were many times when I couldn't completely focus or get my thoughts together, but there was almost always someone there who would give me the push I needed to do what had to be done weather it be someone like Neshima, Jaideep, or Willow. 

The most challenging thing for me this year was figuring out how to deal with different emotions and ideas that surrounded the concept of interacting and staying apart of the community that I'm in. This is because I sometimes tend to hold myself back from taking opportunities that may be fun or helpful due to the fact that I'm worried about how others may react. It was difficult for me to attempt to just be myself and do what made me happy. 

My favorite place on the Darrow campus is the perimeter of open space between the science building and the Tannery. Not only is it the best place to go for beautiful and clear views of the sunset, but it's also very nice and relaxing to just walk around the sports fields and sit on the benches to just clear my head and enjoy being alone (or talking with a friend in peace) 

If there was one thing that I could change about the events that took place in historical methods this year, it would probably be changing my reactions and my behavior to make be creative and interactive in class discussions. 

Three things that I did to always try and help my classmates: 

One concept that I have finally grasped and accepted at the end of this 2017-18 school year is that not everything has to be perfect, and things aren't always going to meet your expectations, but it's okay. At the beginning of the year it felt as though certain things like grades and attitude had to be the best they could possibly be, beyond expectations, but I now realize that nothing is ever going to be truly perfect and that's something that has to be accepted and recognized in order to do your best and always improve.

 One person who has made the biggest impact on my life here at Darrow is Ms. Pytlesti. Ms. Pytleski is always coming around to check in and make sure I'm feeling okay, and she's one of the people at Darrow who genuinely care about how I'm feeling. She takes the time to talk when I need her and she's constantly around to motivate and encourage the people in our community. 

Personally, I don't think that there's anything that could have been done to make the school year ‘better’. I can't specifically think of how changing how and things were done could have possibly made the year turn out better than it is.

Six adjectives that describe this school year are interesting, unexpected, confusing, fun, insightful, and rewarding.

Some advice that I would give students who will be in the same class next year would be: Sometimes you're going to do things that you won't be excited for. Interesting events are going to take place, and you're going to experience and learn things that you didn't expect, but it’s important to appreciate the creative and intriguing opportunities that you’re getting even if you don't realize how great they are at the time. 

I decided to watch three of the videos that were provided; Angela Lee Duckworth: Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Ken Robinson: ‘Do schools kill creativity?’ , and Brene Brown’s ‘Vulnerability in Education’. After watching each of the videos, I recognize that each of the three speakers thoughts do align with some of my own beliefs. Some of the things that I do believe about the aspects of education are are that yes, our modern education system does influence children to drop their values for creativity and conform to modern beliefs (I even based my first historical methods project on that specific concept), I also believe that it is important to leave yourself vulnerable and open in order to learn new things and figure out how to improve in your life, and in order to find yourself reaching your goals, you have to work harder than you may think because most great things don’t come easily. 

Looking back, I recognize now that in my time here at Darrow a lot of the ideas that are expressed in each of the TED talks are quite prevalent in my academic experiences. Throughout my first year of high school, there are times that I can recall when I have been pushed out of my comfort zone and put into a vulnerable position in order to complete my goals, whether it be throughout any amount of time attempting to complete a presentation, or even when simply talking to a friend and expressing myself. There have been moments in class when I’ve had complete academic freedom to create something of my own, and allowed the chance to use my creative mindset; such as when I completed my fourth and final historical methods project of generating and producing my own tiny house model, or when I completed my first semester Algebra 1 project where I had to create a scavenger hunt within the Darrow campus using different concepts that were taught in class. I can even recall the moments when it took the most out of my energy and effort in order to complete an assignment to the best of my abilities.  

Though I have acknowledged the ideas and conceptions expressed by three influential speakers in three individual videos I must admit that there were a few ideas that I hadn’t recognized beforehand. Now being consciously aware of these concepts it will definitely affect my thoughts and actions in the future. For example, though I knew before that failing was nothing to truly be afraid of I never really felt as though it was an idea that I could believe in - I was afraid of being judged because of my failures and not knowing how to improve upon my mistakes. To an extent I also knew that generally every single person learns differently- not all success can be measured by traditional things such as grades, IQ, or even a standardized test. Often times, not all success is measured in our lives; they tend to be ignored or unacknowledged and unrecognized. 

 Ultimately I do believe that some of the values and ideas expressed in modern day education systems are overrated and should be reevaluated. Children, teens, and even adults all alike should have the freedom and ability to learn the things that will bring them joy and happiness instead of being told that they need to think ‘realistically’. They shouldn’t be forced to be exposed to topics that bring no meaning to them or that won’t help them in their futures. I also realize that it is important to try your hardest to achieve your goals in order to find yourself in a place where you can feel truly proud of the things you’ve done. We need to recognize that vulnerability and fear isn’t something to stigmatize, and that in order to learn and grow, these are things that we need to advance in life in the manner that we please- we all have a choice as to what we do in this lifetime, and that choice should not be determined by anyone other than ourselves.  

 It’s been a while, specifically two months since we’ve been back at Darrow. I can only assume that it  feels a bit cringy reading this right now, but the point of this letter is to remind you of things we need to think about during sophomore year. To start, you have to realize that you need to stop worrying so much about how other people see you. It holds you back more than you realize, and you can never do things to the best of your ability. For example, when you have to present something in one of your classes, worrying about how and if people are judging you isn’t going to help you pass. It’s important do in your life both what you want and need to do. We both know it’s easier said than done, but it’s something you should attempt to try. 

 Another thing to mention is that you need to start remembering to work as hard as you can and to do your best with the things that you have to complete both inside and outside of class. This past 2017-18 school year I know that you when you think back, you realize how nice of a feeling it is when you can just let go of all your worrying and do what you need to do.You complete tasks way easier and with quality when you stay focused, which leads us to another topic: it’s okay not to be perfect. Everyone in this world is different including you, and everyone has different methods of doing things. Just because something works for a friend or a classmate, doesn’t mean it’s going to work for you. You don’t have to be like any other person. 

I know for a fact that the past year at Darrow has exposed you to a world that you never knew existed, and knowing this should help you continue to realize as we’re surrounded by new people that being yourself tops pretending or trying to be like any other person. It’s important to value and figure out who you are while both embracing your own faults and strengths, as well as those that belong to others; in the end, one thing is true, we are all people and one thing that we all have in common is the natural struggle of living in a world where it can be hard to be accepted as you are. Understand that being around such a diverse group of people at this time in your life is something to relish in and enjoy. Always remember  that a life well lived is simply one of your own. 

Sincerely, 

Faith Jackson (from the past) 

I’m sure I’m not the greatest person in the universe,

I know that for a fact. 

But just like everyone else, I’m simply figuring out how to keep my self-confidence in tact 

And to realize and accept that I’m fine as I am will be considered a pretty great first; 

To accept my worst and best faults I have a great thirst. 

I know I can be annoying 

Sometimes I can be rude

Other times I can be overly sweet 

And I can even get a little bit of an attitude. 

I realize and notice more than people think, 

But at the same time I can be as oblivious and unaware as a twig. 

I overthink more than I should; thoughts on top of thoughts on top of thoughts about nothing that truly matters. 

And though I waste my mental strength worrying about nothing but wasteful chatter, I never take action, I bring procrastination flatter. 

I worry myself into a confidence drought, 

And sometimes it really sucks,

But I later then realize I can be greater than I thought. 

I care more than the average would like to admit, 

And I have great ideas about things that both do and don't exist. 

I believe in forgiveness even when it should be an option omit, 

And I honestly think I’m a good person, 

And to continue to be so, i will persist. 

It’s a difficult task to talk about myself, it’s hard to evaluate who I am

And I’m sure I’m not the greatest person in the universe, 

I know that for a fact, 

But just like everyone else, I’m simply trying to figure out how to keep my self confidence in tact.