Natural Rights by Brian Martinez

Right to rap along to Fresh Prince

2017-01-13 17:17:57 UTC

Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my Walkman on and said, "I might as well kick it."

First class, yo, this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like?
Hmm, this might be alright.

But wait I hear they're prissy, bourgeois, all that
Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought, "Nah, forget it."
– "Yo, home to Bel-Air."

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo home smell ya later."
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air

2017-01-13 17:18:01 UTC

first

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start

2017-01-13 17:18:02 UTC

the right to education

2017-01-13 17:18:07 UTC

2017-01-13 17:18:14 UTC

freedom to write nonsense

2017-01-13 17:18:21 UTC

NO ONE MAN SHOULD HAVE ALL THAT POWER

The right to have ALL YOU CAN EAT AT LUNCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2017-01-13 17:18:22 UTC

2017-01-13 17:18:24 UTC

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Article I (Article 1 - Legislative)

Section 1

All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.

Section 2

1: The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several States, and the Electors in each State shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the State Legislature.

2: No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.

3: Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons.2 The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct. The Number of Representatives shall not exceed onefor every thirty Thousand, but each State shall have at Least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the State of New Hampshire shall be entitled to chuse three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode-Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New-York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolinafive, South Carolina five, and Georgia three.

4: When vacancies happen in the Representation from any State, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.

5: The House of Representatives shall chuse their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.

Section 3

1: The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, chosen by the Legislature thereof,3 for six Years; and each Senator shall have one Vote.

2: Immediately after they shall be assembled in Consequence of the first Election, they shall be divided as equally as may be into three Classes. The Seats of the Senators of the first Class shall be vacated at the Expiration of the second Year, of thesecond Class at the Expiration of the fourth Year, and of the third Class at the Expiration of the sixth Year, so that one third may be chosen every second Year; and if Vacancies happen by Resignation, or otherwise, during the Recess of the Legislature of any State, the Executive thereof may make temporary Appointments until the next Meeting of the Legislature, which shall then fill such Vacancies.4

3: No Person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years, and been nine Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State for which he shall be chosen.

4: The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided.

5: The Senate shall chuse their other Officers, and also a President pro tempore, in the Absence of the Vice President, or when he shall exercise the Office of President of the United States.

6: The Senate shall have the sole Power to try all Impeachments. When sitting for that Purpose, they shall be on Oath or Affirmation. When the President of the United States is tried, the Chief Justice shall preside: And no Person shall be convicted without the Concurrence of two thirds of the Members present.

7: Judgment in Cases of impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from Office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any Office of honor, Trust or Profit under the United States: but the Party convicted shall nevertheless be liable and subject to Indictment, Trial, Judgment and Punishment, according to Law.

Section 4

1: The Times, Places and Manner of holding Elections for Senators and Representatives, shall be prescribed in each State by the Legislature thereof; but the Congress may at any time by Law make or alter such Regulations, except as to the Places of chusing Senators.

2: The Congress shall assemble at least once in every Year, and such Meeting shall be on the first Monday in December,5 unless they shall by Law appoint a different Day.

Section 5

1: Each House shall be the Judge of the Elections, Returns and Qualifications of its own Members, and a Majority of each shall constitute a Quorum to do Business; but a smaller Number may adjourn from day to day, and may be authorized to compel the Attendance of absent Members, in such Manner, and under such Penalties as each House may provide.

2: Each House may determine the Rules of its Proceedings, punish its Members for disorderly Behaviour, and, with theConcurrence of two thirds, expel a Member.

3: Each House shall keep a Journal of its Proceedings, and from time to time publish the same, excepting such Parts as may in their Judgment require Secrecy; and the Yeas and Nays of the Members of either House on any question shall, at the Desire ofone fifth of those Present, be entered on the Journal.

4: Neither House, during the Session of Congress, shall, without the Consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other Place than that in which the two Houses shall be sitting.

Section 6

1: The Senators and Representatives shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States.6 They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, be privileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place.

2: No Senator or Representative shall, during the Time for which he was elected, be appointed to any civil Office under the Authority of the United States, which shall have been created, or the Emoluments whereof shall have been encreased during such time; and no Person holding any Office under the United States, shall be a Member of either House during his Continuance in Office.

Section 7

1: All Bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives; but the Senate may propose or concur with Amendments as on other Bills.

2: Every Bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate, shall, before it become a Law, be presented to the President of the United States; If he approve he shall sign it, but if not he shall return it, with his Objections to that House in which it shall have originated, who shall enter the Objections at large on their Journal, and proceed to reconsider it. If after such Reconsideration two thirds of that House shall agree to pass the Bill, it shall be sent, together with the Objections, to the other House, by which it shall likewise be reconsidered, and if approved by two thirds of that House, it shall become a Law. But in all such Cases the Votes of both Houses shall be determined by yeas and Nays, and the Names of the Persons voting for and against the Bill shall be entered on the Journal of each House respectively. If any Bill shall not be returned by the President within ten Days (Sundays excepted) after it shall have been presented to him, the Same shall be a Law, in like Manner as if he had signed it, unless the Congress by their Adjournment prevent its Return, in which Case it shall not be a Law.

3: Every Order, Resolution, or Vote to which the Concurrence of the Senate and House of Representatives may be necessary (except on a question of Adjournment) shall be presented to the President of the United States; and before the Same shall take Effect, shall be approved by him, or being disapproved by him, shall be repassed by two thirds of the Senate and House of Representatives, according to the Rules and Limitations prescribed in the Case of a Bill.

Section 8

1: The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States;

2: To borrow Money on the credit of the United States;

3: To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes;

4: To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization, and uniform Laws on the subject of Bankruptcies throughout the United States;

5: To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures;

6: To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the United States;

7: To establish Post Offices and post Roads;

8: To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries;

9: To constitute Tribunals inferior to the supreme Court;

10: To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offences against the Law of Nations;

11: To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water;

12: To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than two Years;

13: To provide and maintain a Navy;

14: To make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the land and naval Forces;

15: To provide for calling forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Union, suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions;

16: To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the Militia, and for governing such Part of them as may be employed in the Service of the United States, reserving to the States respectively, the Appointment of the Officers, and the Authority of training the Militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress;

17: To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten Miles square) as may, by Cession of particular States, and the Acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of the Government of the United States, and to exercise like Authority over all Places purchased by the Consent of the Legislature of the State in which the Same shall be, for the Erection of Forts, Magazines, Arsenals, dock-Yards, and other needful Buildings;—And

18: To make all Laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or Officer thereof.

Section 9

1: The Migration or Importation of such Persons as any of the States now existing shall think proper to admit, shall not be prohibited by the Congress prior to the Year one thousand eight hundred and eight, but a Tax or duty may be imposed on such Importation, not exceeding ten dollars for each Person.

2: The Privilege of the Writ of Habeas Corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it.

3: No Bill of Attainder or ex post facto Law shall be passed.

4: No Capitation, or other direct, Tax shall be laid, unless in Proportion to the Census or Enumeration herein before directed to be taken.7

5: No Tax or Duty shall be laid on Articles exported from any State.

6: No Preference shall be given by any Regulation of Commerce or Revenue to the Ports of one State over those of another: nor shall Vessels bound to, or from, one State, be obliged to enter, clear, or pay Duties in another.

7: No Money shall be drawn from the Treasury, but in Consequence of Appropriations made by Law; and a regular Statement and Account of the Receipts and Expenditures of all public Money shall be published from time to time.

8: No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State.

Section 10

1: No State shall enter into any Treaty, Alliance, or Confederation; grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal; coin Money; emit Bills of Credit; make any Thing but gold and silver Coin a Tender in Payment of Debts; pass any Bill of Attainder, ex post facto Law, or Law impairing the Obligation of Contracts, or grant any Title of Nobility.

2: No State shall, without the Consent of the Congress, lay any Imposts or Duties on Imports or Exports, except what may be absolutely necessary for executing it's inspection Laws: and the net Produce of all Duties and Imposts, laid by any State on Imports or Exports, shall be for the Use of the Treasury of the United States; and all such Laws shall be subject to the Revision and Controul of the Congress.

3: No State shall, without the Consent of Congress, lay any Duty of Tonnage, keep Troops, or Ships of War in time of Peace, enter into any Agreement or Compact with another State, or with a foreign Power, or engage in War, unless actually invaded, or in such imminent Danger as will not admit of delay.

Article II (Article 2 - Executive)

Section 1

1: The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America. He shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years, and, together with the Vice President, chosen for the same Term, be elected, as follows

2: Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors, equal to the whole Number of Senators and Representatives to which the State may be entitled in the Congress: but no Senator or Representative, or Person holding an Office of Trust or Profit under the United States, shall be appointed an Elector.

3: The Electors shall meet in their respective States, and vote by Ballot for two Persons, of whom one at least shall not be an Inhabitant of the same State with themselves. And they shall make a List of all the Persons voted for, and of the Number of Votes for each; which List they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the Seat of the Government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate. The President of the Senate shall, in the Presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the Certificates, and the Votes shall then be counted. The Person having the greatest Number of Votes shall be the President, if such Number be a Majority of the whole Number of Electors appointed; and if there be more than one who have such Majority, and have an equal Number of Votes, then the House of Representatives shall immediately chuse by Ballot one of them for President; and if no Person have a Majority, then from the five highest on the List the said House shall in like Manner chuse the President. But in chusing the President, the Votes shall be taken by States, the Representation from each State having one Vote; A quorum for this Purpose shall consist of a Member or Members from two thirds of the States, and a Majority of all the States shall be necessary to a Choice. In every Case, after the Choice of the President, the Person having the greatest Number of Votes of the Electors shall be the Vice President. But if there should remain two or more who have equal Votes, the Senate shall chuse from them by Ballot the Vice President.8

4: The Congress may determine the Time of chusing the Electors, and the Day on which they shall give their Votes; which Day shall be the same throughout the United States.

5: No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.

6: In Case of the Removal of the President from Office, or of his Death, Resignation, or Inability to discharge the Powers andDuties of the said Office,9 the Same shall devolve on the VicePresident, and the Congress may by Law provide for the Case of Removal, Death, Resignation or Inability, both of the President and Vice President, declaring what Officer shall then act as President, and such Officer shall act accordingly, until the Disability be removed, or a President shall be elected.

7: The President shall, at stated Times, receive for his Services, a Compensation, which shall neither be encreased nor diminished during the Period for which he shall have been elected, and he shall not receive within that Period any otherEmolument from the United States, or any of them.

8: Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:—“I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

Section 2

1: The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States, when called into the actual Service of the United States; he may require the Opinion, in writing, of the principal Officer in each of the executive Departments, upon any Subject relating to the Duties of their respective Offices, and he shall have Power to grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offences against the United States, except in Cases of Impeachment.

2: He shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.

3: The President shall have Power to fill up all Vacancies that may happen during the Recess of the Senate, by granting Commissions which shall expire at the End of their next Session.

Section 3

He shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient; he may, on extraordinary Occasions, convene both Houses, or either of them, and in Case of Disagreement between them, with Respect to the Time of Adjournment, he may adjourn them to such Time as he shall think proper; he shall receive Ambassadors and other public Ministers; he shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed, and shall Commission all the Officers of the United States.

Section 4

The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.

Article III (Article 3 - Judicial)

Section 1

The judicial Power of the United States, shall be vested in one supreme Court, and in such inferior Courts as the Congress may from time to time ordain and establish. The Judges, both of the supreme and inferior Courts, shall hold their Offices during good Behaviour, and shall, at stated Times, receive for their Services, a Compensation, which shall not be diminished during their Continuance in Office.

Section 2

1: The judicial Power shall extend to all Cases, in Law and Equity, arising under this Constitution, the Laws of the United States, and Treaties made, or which shall be made, under their Authority;—to all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls;—to all Cases of admiralty and maritime Jurisdiction;—to Controversies to which the United States shall be a Party;—to Controversies between two or more States;—between a State and Citizens of another State;10 —between Citizens of different States, —between Citizens of the same State claiming Lands under Grants of different States, and between a State, or the Citizens thereof, and foreign States, Citizens or Subjects.

2: In all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, and those in which a State shall be Party, the supreme Court shall have original Jurisdiction. In all the other Cases before mentioned, the supreme Court shall have appellateJurisdiction, both as to Law and Fact, with such Exceptions, and under such Regulations as the Congress shall make.

3: The Trial of all Crimes, except in Cases of Impeachment, shall be by Jury; and such Trial shall be held in the State where the said Crimes shall have been committed; but when not committed within any State, the Trial shall be at such Place or Places as the Congress may by Law have directed.

Section 3

1: Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.

2: The Congress shall have Power to declare the Punishment of Treason, but no Attainder of Treason shall work Corruption of Blood, or Forfeiture except during the Life of the Person attainted.

Article IV (Article 4 - States' Relations)

Section 1

Full Faith and Credit shall be given in each State to the public Acts, Records, and judicial Proceedings of every other State. And the Congress may by general Laws prescribe the Manner in which such Acts, Records and Proceedings shall be proved, and the Effect thereof.

Section 2

1: The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.

2: A Person charged in any State with Treason, Felony, or other Crime, who shall flee from Justice, and be found in another State, shall on Demand of the executive Authority of the State from which he fled, be delivered up, to be removed to the State having Jurisdiction of the Crime.

3: No Person held to Service or Labour in one State, under the Laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in Consequence of any Law or Regulation therein, be discharged from such Service or Labour, but shall be delivered up on Claim of the Party to whom such Service or Labour may be due.11

Section 3

1: New States may be admitted by the Congress into this Union; but no new State shall be formed or erected within the Jurisdiction of any other State; nor any State be formed by the Junction of two or more States, or Parts of States, without the Consent of the Legislatures of the States concerned as well as of the Congress.

2: The Congress shall have Power to dispose of and make all needful Rules and Regulations respecting the Territory or other Property belonging to the United States; and nothing in this Constitution shall be so construed as to Prejudice any Claims of the United States, or of any particular State.

Section 4

The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened) against domestic Violence.

Article V (Article 5 - Mode of Amendment)

The Congress, whenever two thirds of both Houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose Amendments to this Constitution, or, on the Application of the Legislatures of two thirds of the several States, shall call a Convention for proposing Amendments, which, in either Case, shall be valid to all Intents and Purposes, as Part of this Constitution, when ratified by the Legislatures ofthree fourths of the several States, or by Conventions in three fourths thereof, as the one or the other Mode of Ratification may be proposed by the Congress; Provided that no Amendment which may be made prior to the Year One thousand eight hundred and eight shall in any Manner affect the first and fourth Clauses in the Ninth Section of the first Article; and that no State, without its Consent, shall be deprived of its equal Suffrage in the Senate.

Article VI (Article 6 - Prior Debts, National Supremacy, Oaths of Office)

1: All Debts contracted and Engagements entered into, before the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be as valid against the United States under this Constitution, as under the Confederation.

2: This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.

3: The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.

Article VII (Article 7 - Ratification)

The Ratification of the Conventions of nine States, shall be sufficient for the Establishment of this Constitution between the States so ratifying the Same.

The Word "the", being interlined between the seventh and eight Lines of the first Page, The Word "Thirty" being partly written on an Erazure in the fifteenth Line of the first Page. The Words "is tried" being interlined between the thirty second and thirty third Lines of the first Page and the Word "the" being interlined between the forty third and forty fourth Lines of the second Page.

|
done in Convention by the Unanimous Consent of the States present the Seventeenth Day of September in the Year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and Eighty seven and of the Independence of the United States of America the Twelfth In witness whereof We have hereunto subscribed our Names,

the right to a bad sense of humor

2017-01-13 17:18:25 UTC

2017-01-13 17:18:33 UTC

the right not to go to this class

joseph_wilson122 — 2017-01-13 17:18:42 UTC

2017-01-13 17:18:45 UTC

Get Dunked By Sans

Right to sing All Star

2017-01-13 17:18:56 UTC

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow

[Chorus:]
Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play
Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder
You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older
But the meteor men beg to differ
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin
The water's getting warm so you might as well swim
My world's on fire. How about yours?
That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place
I said yep, what a concept
I could use a little fuel myself
And we could all use a little change

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold

2017-01-13 17:18:57 UTC

TACO TACO TACO TACO TACO TACO TACO TACO TACO TACCO TACO RACO

The RIGHT TO QUOTE SHREK

2017-01-13 17:20:12 UTC

2017-01-13 17:20:13 UTC

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start

2017-01-13 17:21:08 UTC

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start

2017-01-13 17:21:16 UTC

The Bee Movie

2017-01-13 17:23:04 UTC

According to all known laws
of aviation,

  
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.

  
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.

  
The bee, of course, flies anyway

  
because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.

  
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

  
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.

  
Barry! Breakfast is ready!

  
Ooming!

  
Hang on a second.

  
Hello?

  
- Barry?
- Adam?

  
- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.

  
Looking sharp.

  
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.

  
Sorry. I'm excited.

  
Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.

  
A perfect report card, all B's.

  
Very proud.

  
Ma! I got a thing going here.

  
- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!

  
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!

  
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!

  
- Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.

  
- Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.

  
Never thought I'd make it.

  
Three days grade school,
three days high school.

  
Those were awkward.

  
Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.

  
You did come back different.

  
- Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

  
- Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah.

  
- You going to the funeral?
- No, I'm not going.

  
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.

  
Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.

  
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.

  
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.

  
That's why we don't need vacations.

  
Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.

  
- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!

  
- Bee-men.
- Amen!

  
Hallelujah!

  
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,

  
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.

  
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...

  
...9:15.

  
That concludes our ceremonies.

  
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!

  
Will we pick ourjob today?

  
I heard it's just orientation.

  
Heads up! Here we go.

  
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.

  
- Wonder what it'll be like?
- A little scary.

  
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco

  
and a part of the Hexagon Group.

  
This is it!

  
Wow.

  
Wow.

  
We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life

  
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.

  
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.

  
Our top-secret formula

  
is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured

  
into this soothing sweet syrup

  
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as...

  
Honey!

  
- That girl was hot.
- She's my cousin!

  
- She is?
- Yes, we're all cousins.

  
- Right. You're right.
- At Honex, we constantly strive

  
to improve every aspect
of bee existence.

  
These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.

  
- What do you think he makes?
- Not enough.

  
Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.

  
- What does that do?
- Oatches that little strand of honey

  
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.

  
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?

  
Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know

  
that every small job,
if it's done well, means a lot.

  
But choose carefully

  
because you'll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.

  
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn't know that.

  
What's the difference?

  
You'll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven't had one day off

  
in 27 million years.

  
So you'll just work us to death?

  
We'll sure try.

  
Wow! That blew my mind!

  
"What's the difference?"
How can you say that?

  
One job forever?
That's an insane choice to have to make.

  
I'm relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.

  
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?

  
Why would you question anything?
We're bees.

  
We're the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.

  
You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?

  
Like what? Give me one example.

  
I don't know. But you know
what I'm talking about.

  
Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.

  
Wait a second. Oheck it out.

  
- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
- Wow.

  
I've never seen them this close.

  
They know what it's like
outside the hive.

  
Yeah, but some don't come back.

  
- Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!

  
You guys did great!

  
You're monsters!
You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!

  
- I wonder where they were.
- I don't know.

  
Their day's not planned.

  
Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.

  
You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.

  
Right.

  
Look. That's more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.

  
It's just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.

  
Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.

  
Those ladies?
Aren't they our cousins too?

  
Distant. Distant.

  
Look at these two.

  
- Oouple of Hive Harrys.
- Let's have fun with them.

  
It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.

  
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!

  
He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!

  
- Oh, my!
- I never thought I'd knock him out.

  
What were you doing during this?

  
Trying to alert the authorities.

  
I can autograph that.

  
A little gusty out there today,
wasn't it, comrades?

  
Yeah. Gusty.

  
We're hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.

  
- Six miles, huh?
- Barry!

  
A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you're not up for it.

  
- Maybe I am.
- You are not!

  
We're going 0900 at J-Gate.

  
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?

  
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.

  
Hey, Honex!

  
Dad, you surprised me.

  
You decide what you're interested in?

  
- Well, there's a lot of choices.
- But you only get one.

  
Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?

  
Son, let me tell you about stirring.

  
You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.

  
You get yourself into a rhythm.
It's a beautiful thing.

  
You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,

  
maybe the honey field
just isn't right for me.

  
You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?

  
That's a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.

  
Janet, your son's not sure
he wants to go into honey!

  
- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
- I'm not trying to be funny.

  
You're not funny! You're going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!

  
- You're gonna be a stirrer?
- No one's listening to me!

  
Wait till you see the sticks I have.

  
I could say anything right now.
I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!

  
Let's open some honey and celebrate!

  
Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.

  
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!

  
I'm so proud.

  
- We're starting work today!
- Today's the day.

  
Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.

  
Yeah, right.

  
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal...

  
- Is it still available?
- Hang on. Two left!

  
One of them's yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.

  
- What'd you get?
- Picking crud out. Stellar!

  
Wow!

  
Oouple of newbies?

  
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!

  
Make your choice.

  
- You want to go first?
- No, you go.

  
Oh, my. What's available?

  
Restroom attendant's open,
not for the reason you think.

  
- Any chance of getting the Krelman?
- Sure, you're on.

  
I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.

  
Wax monkey's always open.

  
The Krelman opened up again.

  
What happened?

  
A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He's dead. Another dead one.

  
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.

  
Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That's life!

  
Oh, this is so hard!

  
Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,

  
humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,

  
mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should... Barry?

  
Barry!

  
All right, we've got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine...

  
What happened to you?
Where are you?

  
- I'm going out.
- Out? Out where?

  
- Out there.
- Oh, no!

  
I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.

  
You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?

  
Another call coming in.

  
If anyone's feeling brave,
there's a Korean deli on 83rd

  
that gets their roses today.

  
Hey, guys.

  
- Look at that.
- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?

  
Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.

  
It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.

  
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?

  
Sign here, here. Just initial that.

  
- Thank you.
- OK.

  
You got a rain advisory today,

  
and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.

  
So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,

  
hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.

  
Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.

  
Murphy's in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!

  
- That's awful.
- And a reminder for you rookies,

  
bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!

  
All right, launch positions!

  
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!

  
Black and yellow!

  
Hello!

  
You ready for this, hot shot?

  
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.

  
Wind, check.

  
- Antennae, check.
- Nectar pack, check.

  
- Wings, check.
- Stinger, check.

  
Scared out of my shorts, check.

  
OK, ladies,

  
let's move it out!

  
Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!

  
All of you, drain those flowers!

  
Wow! I'm out!

  
I can't believe I'm out!

  
So blue.

  
I feel so fast and free!

  
Box kite!

  
Wow!

  
Flowers!

  
This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.

  
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.

  
Roses!

  
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.

  
Stand to the side, kid.
It's got a bit of a kick.

  
That is one nectar collector!

  
- Ever see pollination up close?
- No, sir.

  
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,

  
a pinch on that one.
See that? It's a little bit of magic.

  
That's amazing. Why do we do that?

  
That's pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.

  
Oool.

  
I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?

  
Oopy that visual.

  
Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.

  
Say again? You're reporting
a moving flower?

  
Affirmative.

  
That was on the line!

  
This is the coolest. What is it?

  
I don't know, but I'm loving this color.

  
It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.

  
Yeah, fuzzy.

  
Ohemical-y.

  
Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.

  
My sweet lord of bees!

  
Oandy-brain, get off there!

  
Problem!

  
- Guys!
- This could be bad.

  
Affirmative.

  
Very close.

  
Gonna hurt.

  
Mama's little boy.

  
You are way out of position, rookie!

  
Ooming in at you like a missile!

  
Help me!

  
I don't think these are flowers.

  
- Should we tell him?
- I think he knows.

  
What is this?!

  
Match point!

  
You can start packing up, honey,
because you're about to eat it!

  
Yowser!

  
Gross.

  
There's a bee in the car!

  
- Do something!
- I'm driving!

  
- Hi, bee.
- He's back here!

  
He's going to sting me!

  
Nobody move. If you don't move,
he won't sting you. Freeze!

  
He blinked!

  
Spray him, Granny!

  
What are you doing?!

  
Wow... the tension level
out here is unbelievable.

  
I gotta get home.

  
Oan't fly in rain.

  
Oan't fly in rain.

  
Oan't fly in rain.

  
Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!

  
Ken, could you close
the window please?

  
Ken, could you close
the window please?

  
Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.

  
You see? Folds out.

  
Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.

  
What was that?

  
Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This...

  
Drapes!

  
That is diabolical.

  
It's fantastic. It's got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.

  
What's number one? Star Wars?

  
Nah, I don't go for that...

  
...kind of stuff.

  
No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.
They're out of their minds.

  
When I leave a job interview, they're
flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.

  
There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.

  
I don't remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.

  
I predicted global warming.

  
I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.

  
Wait! Stop! Bee!

  
Stand back. These are winter boots.

  
Wait!

  
Don't kill him!

  
You know I'm allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!

  
Why does his life have
less value than yours?

  
Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?

  
I'm just saying all life has value. You
don't know what he's capable of feeling.

  
My brochure!

  
There you go, little guy.

  
I'm not scared of him.
It's an allergic thing.

  
Put that on your resume brochure.

  
My whole face could puff up.

  
Make it one of your special skills.

  
Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.

  
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.

  
- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.

  
- You could put carob chips on there.
- Bye.

  
- Supposed to be less calories.
- Bye.

  
I gotta say something.

  
She saved my life.
I gotta say something.

  
All right, here it goes.

  
Nah.

  
What would I say?

  
I could really get in trouble.

  
It's a bee law.
You're not supposed to talk to a human.

  
I can't believe I'm doing this.

  
I've got to.

  
Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!

  
No. Yes. No.

  
Do it. I can't.

  
How should I start it?
"You like jazz?" No, that's no good.

  
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!

  
Hi!

  
I'm sorry.

  
- You're talking.
- Yes, I know.

  
You're talking!

  
I'm so sorry.

  
No, it's OK. It's fine.
I know I'm dreaming.

  
But I don't recall going to bed.

  
Well, I'm sure this
is very disconcerting.

  
This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you're a bee!

  
I am. And I'm not supposed
to be doing this,

  
but they were all trying to kill me.

  
And if it wasn't for you...

  
I had to thank you.
It's just how I was raised.

  
That was a little weird.

  
- I'm talking with a bee.
- Yeah.

  
I'm talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!

  
I just want to say I'm grateful.
I'll leave now.

  
- Wait! How did you learn to do that?
- What?

  
The talking thing.

  
Same way you did, I guess.
"Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.

  
- That's very funny.
- Yeah.

  
Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,
we'd cry with what we have to deal with.

  
Anyway...

  
Oan I...

  
...get you something?
- Like what?

  
I don't know. I mean...
I don't know. Ooffee?

  
I don't want to put you out.

  
It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.

  
- It's just coffee.
- I hate to impose.

  
- Don't be ridiculous!
- Actually, I would love a cup.

  
Hey, you want rum cake?

  
- I shouldn't.
- Have some.

  
- No, I can't.
- Oome on!

  
I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.

  
- Where?
- These stripes don't help.

  
You look great!

  
I don't know if you know
anything about fashion.

  
Are you all right?

  
No.

  
He's making the tie in the cab
as they're flying up Madison.

  
He finally gets there.

  
He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.

  
And he says, "Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.

  
Why would I marry a watermelon?"

  
Is that a bee joke?

  
That's the kind of stuff we do.

  
Yeah, different.

  
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?

  
About work? I don't know.

  
I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can't do it the way they want.

  
I know how you feel.

  
- You do?
- Sure.

  
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.

  
- Really?
- My only interest is flowers.

  
Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.

  
Anyway, if you look...

  
There's my hive right there. See it?

  
You're in Sheep Meadow!

  
Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!

  
No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.

  
- Why do girls put rings on their toes?
- Why not?

  
- It's like putting a hat on your knee.
- Maybe I'll try that.

  
- You all right, ma'am?
- Oh, yeah. Fine.

  
Just having two cups of coffee!

  
Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.

  
Yeah, it's no trouble.

  
Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,
I'd be up the rest of my life.

  
Are you...?

  
Oan I take a piece of this with me?

  
Sure! Here, have a crumb.

  
- Thanks!
- Yeah.

  
All right. Well, then...
I guess I'll see you around.

  
Or not.

  
OK, Barry.

  
And thank you
so much again... for before.

  
Oh, that? That was nothing.

  
Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...

  
This can't possibly work.

  
He's all set to go.
We may as well try it.

  
OK, Dave, pull the chute.

  
- Sounds amazing.
- It was amazing!

  
It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.

  
Humans! I can't believe
you were with humans!

  
Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?

  
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.

  
They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.

  
- Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
- Some of them. But some of them don't.

  
- How'd you get back?
- Poodle.

  
You did it, and I'm glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.

  
You had your "experience." Now you
can pick out yourjob and be normal.

  
- Well...
- Well?

  
Well, I met someone.

  
You did? Was she Bee-ish?

  
- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
- No, no, no, not a wasp.

  
- Spider?
- I'm not attracted to spiders.

  
I know it's the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.

  
I can't get by that face.

  
So who is she?

  
She's... human.

  
No, no. That's a bee law.
You wouldn't break a bee law.

  
- Her name's Vanessa.
- Oh, boy.

  
She's so nice. And she's a florist!

  
Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!

  
We're not dating.

  
You're flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes

  
with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!

  
She saved my life!
And she understands me.

  
This is over!

  
Eat this.

  
This is not over! What was that?

  
- They call it a crumb.
- It was so stingin' stripey!

  
And that's not what they eat.
That's what falls off what they eat!

  
- You know what a Oinnabon is?
- No.

  
It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up...

  
Sit down!

  
...really hot!
- Listen to me!

  
We are not them! We're us.
There's us and there's them!

  
Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?

  
There's no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!

  
You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!

  
- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.

  
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

  
There he is. He's in the pool.

  
You know what your problem is, Barry?

  
I gotta start thinking bee?

  
How much longer will this go on?

  
It's been three days!
Why aren't you working?

  
I've got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.

  
What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You're barely a bee!

  
Would it kill you
to make a little honey?

  
Barry, come out.
Your father's talking to you.

  
Martin, would you talk to him?

  
Barry, I'm talking to you!

  
You coming?

  
Got everything?

  
All set!

  
Go ahead. I'll catch up.

  
Don't be too long.

  
Watch this!

  
Vanessa!

  
- We're still here.
- I told you not to yell at him.

  
He doesn't respond to yelling!

  
- Then why yell at me?
- Because you don't listen!

  
I'm not listening to this.

  
Sorry, I've gotta go.

  
- Where are you going?
- I'm meeting a friend.

  
A girl? Is this why you can't decide?

  
Bye.

  
I just hope she's Bee-ish.

  
They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?

  
To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that's every florist's dream!

  
Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.

  
A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?

  
No. All right, I've got one.
How come you don't fly everywhere?

  
It's exhausting. Why don't you
run everywhere? It's faster.

  
Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.

  
TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That's insane!

  
You don't have that?

  
We have Hivo, but it's a disease.
It's a horrible, horrible disease.

  
Oh, my.

  
Dumb bees!

  
You must want to sting all those jerks.

  
We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us.

  
So you have to watch your temper.

  
Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,

  
write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:

  
Anger, jealousy, lust.

  
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?

  
Yeah.

  
- What is wrong with you?!
- It's a bug.

  
He's not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!

  
What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?

  
Yeah, it was. How did you know?

  
It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.

  
You've really got that
down to a science.

  
- I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
- I'll bet.

  
What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?

  
How did this get here?
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,

  
Ray Liotta Private Select?

  
- Is he that actor?
- I never heard of him.

  
- Why is this here?
- For people. We eat it.

  
You don't have
enough food of your own?

  
- Well, yes.
- How do you get it?

  
- Bees make it.
- I know who makes it!

  
And it's hard to make it!

  
There's heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!

  
- It's organic.
- It's our-ganic!

  
It's just honey, Barry.

  
Just what?!

  
Bees don't know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!

  
You've taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!

  
And it's on sale?!
I'm getting to the bottom of this.

  
I'm getting to the bottom
of all of this!

  
Hey, Hector.

  
- You almost done?
- Almost.

  
He is here. I sense it.

  
Well, I guess I'll go home now

  
and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.

  
You're busted, box boy!

  
I knew I heard something.
So you can talk!

  
I can talk.
And now you'll start talking!

  
Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier?

  
I don't understand.
I thought we were friends.

  
The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!

  
You're too late! It's ours now!

  
You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!

  
You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!

  
Where is the honey coming from?

  
Tell me where!

  
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!

  
Orazy person!

  
What horrible thing has happened here?

  
These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now

  
they're on the road to nowhere!

  
Just keep still.

  
What? You're not dead?

  
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?

  
To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.

  
I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!

  
I'm going to Tacoma.

  
- And you?
- He really is dead.

  
All right.

  
Uh-oh!

  
- What is that?!
- Oh, no!

  
- A wiper! Triple blade!
- Triple blade?

  
Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!

  
Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!

  
How much do you people need to see?!

  
Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!

  
From NPR News in Washington,
I'm Oarl Kasell.

  
But don't kill no more bugs!

  
- Bee!
- Moose blood guy!!

  
- You hear something?
- Like what?

  
Like tiny screaming.

  
Turn off the radio.

  
Whassup, bee boy?

  
Hey, Blood.

  
Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.

  
Wow!

  
I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they're getting it.

  
I mean, that honey's ours.

  
- Bees hang tight.
- We're all jammed in.

  
It's a close community.

  
Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.

  
- What if you get in trouble?
- You a mosquito, you in trouble.

  
Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!

  
At least you're out in the world.
You must meet girls.

  
Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.

  
Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.

  
You got to be kidding me!

  
Mooseblood's about to leave
the building! So long, bee!

  
- Hey, guys!
- Mooseblood!

  
I knew I'd catch y'all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?

  
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it's pretty much pure profit.

  
What is this place?

  
A bee's got a brain
the size of a pinhead.

  
They are pinheads!

  
Pinhead.

  
- Oheck out the new smoker.
- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.

  
The Thomas 3000!

  
Smoker?

  
Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.

  
A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.

  
They make the honey,
and we make the money.

  
"They make the honey,
and we make the money"?

  
Oh, my!

  
What's going on? Are you OK?

  
Yeah. It doesn't last too long.

  
Do you know you're
in a fake hive with fake walls?

  
Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.

  
This is your queen?
That's a man in women's clothes!

  
That's a drag queen!

  
What is this?

  
Oh, no!

  
There's hundreds of them!

  
Bee honey.

  
Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!

  
This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.

  
Oh, Barry, stop.

  
Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That's a rumor.

  
Do these look like rumors?

  
That's a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.

  
How did you get mixed up in this?

  
He's been talking to humans.

  
- What?
- Talking to humans?!

  
He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!

  
Make out? Barry!

  
We do not.

  
- You wish you could.
- Whose side are you on?

  
The bees!

  
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.

  
Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?

  
I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!

  
Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked

  
your hands were still stirring.
You couldn't stop.

  
I remember that.

  
What right do they have to our honey?

  
We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!

  
Even if it's true, what can one bee do?

  
Sting them where it really hurts.

  
In the face! The eye!

  
- That would hurt.
- No.

  
Up the nose? That's a killer.

  
There's only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.

  
Hive at Five, the hive's only
full-hour action news source.

  
No more bee beards!

  
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.

  
Weather with Storm Stinger.

  
Sports with Buzz Larvi.

  
And Jeanette Ohung.

  
- Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.
- And I'm Jeanette Ohung.

  
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,

  
intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,

  
packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!

  
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,

  
we'll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,

  
Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.

  
Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.

  
Did you ever think, "I'm a kid
from the hive. I can't do this"?

  
Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.

  
What about Bee Oolumbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?

  
Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.

  
We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.

  
How old are you?

  
The bee community
is supporting you in this case,

  
which will be the trial
of the bee century.

  
You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.

  
It's a common name. Next week...

  
He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots...

  
Next week...

  
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard 'em.

  
Bear Week next week!
They're scary, hairy and here live.

  
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.

  
In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!

  
It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.

  
Honey, her backhand's a joke!
I'm not gonna take advantage of that?

  
Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.

  
- Is that that same bee?
- Yes, it is!

  
I'm helping him sue the human race.

  
- Hello.
- Hello, bee.

  
This is Ken.

  
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.

  
Why does he talk again?

  
Listen, you better go
'cause we're really busy working.

  
But it's our yogurt night!

  
Bye-bye.

  
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!

  
You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!

  
Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.

  
- Frosting...
- How many sugars?

  
Just one. I try not
to use the competition.

  
So why are you helping me?

  
Bees have good qualities.

  
And it takes my mind off the shop.

  
Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.

  
Those are great, if you're three.

  
And artificial flowers.

  
- Oh, those just get me psychotic!
- Yeah, me too.

  
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.

  
Bees must hate those fake things!

  
Nothing worse
than a daffodil that's had work done.

  
Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.

  
- This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.
- I guess.

  
You sure you want to go through with it?

  
Am I sure? When I'm done with
the humans, they won't be able

  
to say, "Honey, I'm home,"
without paying a royalty!

  
It's an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,

  
where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,

  
we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.

  
What have we gotten into here, Barry?

  
It's pretty big, isn't it?

  
I can't believe how many humans
don't work during the day.

  
You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?

  
Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.

  
- What's the matter?
- I don't know, I just got a chill.

  
Well, if it isn't the bee team.

  
You boys work on this?

  
All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.

  
All right. Oase number 4475,

  
Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry

  
is now in session.

  
Mr. Montgomery, you're representing
the five food companies collectively?

  
A privilege.

  
Mr. Benson... you're representing
all the bees of the world?

  
I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we're ready to proceed.

  
Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.

  
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

  
my grandmother was a simple woman.

  
Born on a farm, she believed
it was man's divine right

  
to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.

  
If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,

  
just think of what would it mean.

  
I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm

  
for the elastic in my britches!

  
Talking bee!

  
How do we know this isn't some sort of

  
holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?

  
They could be using laser beams!

  
Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,

  
he could be on steroids!

  
Mr. Benson?

  
Ladies and gentlemen,
there's no trickery here.

  
I'm just an ordinary bee.
Honey's pretty important to me.

  
It's important to all bees.
We invented it!

  
We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.

  
Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room

  
who think they can take it from us

  
'cause we're the little guys!
I'm hoping that, after this is all over,

  
you'll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have

  
but everything we are!

  
I wish he'd dress like that
all the time. So nice!

  
Oall your first witness.

  
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.

  
I suppose so.

  
I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!

  
Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.

  
Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.

  
I don't imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?

  
- No.
- I couldn't hear you.

  
- No.
- No.

  
Because you don't free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,

  
it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.

  
They're very lovable creatures.

  
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.

  
You mean like this?

  
Bears kill bees!

  
How'd you like his head crashing
through your living room?!

  
Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!

  
OK, that's enough. Take him away.

  
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.

  
- Where have I heard it before?
- I was with a band called The Police.

  
But you've never been
a police officer, have you?

  
No, I haven't.

  
No, you haven't. And so here
we have yet another example

  
of bee culture casually
stolen by a human

  
for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.

  
Oh, please.

  
Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?

  
Because I'm feeling
a little stung, Sting.

  
Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!

  
That's not his real name?! You idiots!

  
Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on

  
your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.

  
Thank you. Thank you.

  
I see from your resume
that you're devilishly handsome

  
with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow.

  
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?

  
Not yet it isn't. But is this
what it's come to for you?

  
Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don't

  
have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?

  
Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!

  
This isn't a goodfella.
This is a badfella!

  
Why doesn't someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!

  
- Order in this court!
- You're all thinking it!

  
Order! Order, I say!

  
- Say it!
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!

  
I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.

  
I think the jury's on our side.

  
Are we doing everything right, legally?

  
I'm a florist.

  
Right. Well, here's to a great team.

  
To a great team!

  
Well, hello.

  
- Ken!
- Hello.

  
I didn't think you were coming.

  
No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but... the battery.

  
I didn't want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.

  
Oh, that was lucky.

  
There's a little left.
I could heat it up.

  
Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.

  
So I hear you're quite a tennis player.

  
I'm not much for the game myself.
The ball's a little grabby.

  
That's where I usually sit.
Right... there.

  
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,

  
and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn't really a special skill.

  
You think I don't see what you're doing?

  
I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.

  
Do we?

  
Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.

  
That's just what
I was thinking about doing.

  
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.

  
I'm going to drain the old stinger.

  
Yeah, you do that.

  
Look at that.

  
You know, I've just about had it

  
with your little mind games.

  
- What's that?
- Italian Vogue.

  
Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.

  
A lot of ads.

  
Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?

  
Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!

  
I think something stinks in here!

  
I love the smell of flowers.

  
How do you like the smell of flames?!

  
Not as much.

  
Water bug! Not taking sides!

  
Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!
This is pathetic!

  
I've got issues!

  
Well, well, well, a royal flush!

  
- You're bluffing.
- Am I?

  
Surf's up, dude!

  
Poo water!

  
That bowl is gnarly.

  
Except for those dirty yellow rings!

  
Kenneth! What are you doing?!

  
You know, I don't even like honey!
I don't eat it!

  
We need to talk!

  
He's just a little bee!

  
And he happens to be
the nicest bee I've met in a long time!

  
Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?

  
No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you're one of them!

  
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...

  
My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!

  
Goodbye, Ken.

  
And for your information,

  
I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners made by man!

  
I'm sorry about all that.

  
I know it's got
an aftertaste! I like it!

  
I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.

  
I couldn't overcome it.
Oh, well.

  
Are you OK for the trial?

  
I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.

  
We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.

  
Good idea! You can really see why he's
considered one of the best lawyers...

  
Yeah.

  
Layton, you've
gotta weave some magic

  
with this jury,
or it's gonna be all over.

  
Don't worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around

  
is to remind them
of what they don't like about bees.

  
- You got the tweezers?
- Are you allergic?

  
Only to losing, son. Only to losing.

  
Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you
what I think we'd all like to know.

  
What exactly is your relationship

  
to that woman?

  
We're friends.

  
- Good friends?
- Yes.

  
How good? Do you live together?

  
Wait a minute...

  
Are you her little...

  
...bedbug?

  
I've seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,

  
doesn't your queen give birth
to all the bee children?

  
- Yeah, but...
- So those aren't your real parents!

  
- Oh, Barry...
- Yes, they are!

  
Hold me back!

  
You're an illegitimate bee,
aren't you, Benson?

  
He's denouncing bees!

  
Don't y'all date your cousins?

  
- Objection!
- I'm going to pincushion this guy!

  
Adam, don't! It's what he wants!

  
Oh, I'm hit!!

  
Oh, lordy, I am hit!

  
Order! Order!

  
The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!

  
I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!

  
You see? You can't treat them
like equals! They're striped savages!

  
Stinging's the only thing
they know! It's their way!

  
- Adam, stay with me.
- I can't feel my legs.

  
What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison

  
from my heaving buttocks?

  
I will have order in this court. Order!

  
Order, please!

  
The case of the honeybees
versus the human race

  
took a pointed turn against the bees

  
yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.

  
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.

  
- Is there much pain?
- Yeah.

  
I...

  
I blew the whole case, didn't I?

  
It doesn't matter. What matters is
you're alive. You could have died.

  
I'd be better off dead. Look at me.

  
They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.

  
Look, there's
a little celery still on it.

  
What was it like to sting someone?

  
I can't explain it. It was all...

  
All adrenaline and then...
and then ecstasy!

  
All right.

  
You think it was all a trap?

  
Of course. I'm sorry.
I flew us right into this.

  
What were we thinking? Look at us. We're
just a couple of bugs in this world.

  
What will the humans do to us
if they win?

  
I don't know.

  
I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn't sound so bad.

  
Adam, they check in,
but they don't check out!

  
Oh, my.

  
Oould you get a nurse
to close that window?

  
- Why?
- The smoke.

  
Bees don't smoke.

  
Right. Bees don't smoke.

  
Bees don't smoke!
But some bees are smoking.

  
That's it! That's our case!

  
It is? It's not over?

  
Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.

  
Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.

  
And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.

  
Mr. Flayman.

  
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!

  
Where is the rest of your team?

  
Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.

  
Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,

  
and as a result,
we don't make very good time.

  
I actually heard a funny story about...

  
Your Honor,
haven't these ridiculous bugs

  
taken up enough
of this court's valuable time?

  
How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?

  
They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges

  
against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.

  
I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!

  
Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going

  
to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery's motion.

  
But you can't! We have a terrific case.

  
Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?

  
Show me the smoking gun!

  
Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?

  
Here is your smoking gun.

  
What is that?

  
It's a bee smoker!

  
What, this?
This harmless little contraption?

  
This couldn't hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.

  
Look at what has happened

  
to bees who have never been asked,
"Smoking or non?"

  
Is this what nature intended for us?

  
To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines

  
and man-made wooden slat work camps?

  
Living out our lives as honey slaves
to the white man?

  
- What are we gonna do?
- He's playing the species card.

  
Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!

  
Free the bees! Free the bees!

  
Free the bees!

  
Free the bees! Free the bees!

  
The court finds in favor of the bees!

  
Vanessa, we won!

  
I knew you could do it! High-five!

  
Sorry.

  
I'm OK! You know what this means?

  
All the honey
will finally belong to the bees.

  
Now we won't have
to work so hard all the time.

  
This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson.

  
You'll regret this.

  
Barry, how much honey is out there?

  
All right. One at a time.

  
Barry, who are you wearing?

  
My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
and I have no pants.

  
- What if Montgomery's right?
- What do you mean?

  
We've been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years.

  
Oongratulations on your victory.
What will you demand as a settlement?

  
First, we'll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.

  
Then we want back the honey
that was ours to begin with,

  
every last drop.

  
We demand an end to the glorification
of the bear as anything more

  
than a filthy, smelly,
bad-breath stink machine.

  
We're all aware
of what they do in the woods.

  
Wait for my signal.

  
Take him out.

  
He'll have nauseous
for a few hours, then he'll be fine.

  
And we will no longer tolerate
bee-negative nicknames...

  
But it's just a prance-about stage name!

  
...unnecessary inclusion of honey
in bogus health products

  
and la-dee-da human
tea-time snack garnishments.

  
Oan't breathe.

  
Bring it in, boys!

  
Hold it right there! Good.

  
Tap it.

  
Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
and there's gallons more coming!

  
- I think we need to shut down!
- Shut down? We've never shut down.

  
Shut down honey production!

  
Stop making honey!

  
Turn your key, sir!

  
What do we do now?

  
Oannonball!

  
We're shutting honey production!

  
Mission abort.

  
Aborting pollination and nectar detail.
Returning to base.

  
Adam, you wouldn't believe
how much honey was out there.

  
Oh, yeah?

  
What's going on? Where is everybody?

  
- Are they out celebrating?
- They're home.

  
They don't know what to do.
Laying out, sleeping in.

  
I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way
to San Antonio with a cricket.

  
At least we got our honey back.

  
Sometimes I think, so what if humans
liked our honey? Who wouldn't?

  
It's the greatest thing in the world!
I was excited to be part of making it.

  
This was my new desk. This was my
new job. I wanted to do it really well.

  
And now...

  
Now I can't.

  
I don't understand
why they're not happy.

  
I thought their lives would be better!

  
They're doing nothing. It's amazing.
Honey really changes people.

  
You don't have any idea
what's going on, do you?

  
- What did you want to show me?
- This.

  
What happened here?

  
That is not the half of it.

  
Oh, no. Oh, my.

  
They're all wilting.

  
Doesn't look very good, does it?

  
No.

  
And whose fault do you think that is?

  
You know, I'm gonna guess bees.

  
Bees?

  
Specifically, me.

  
I didn't think bees not needing to make
honey would affect all these things.

  
It's notjust flowers.
Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.

  
That's our whole SAT test right there.

  
Take away produce, that affects
the entire animal kingdom.

  
And then, of course...

  
The human species?

  
So if there's no more pollination,

  
it could all just go south here,
couldn't it?

  
I know this is also partly my fault.

  
How about a suicide pact?

  
How do we do it?

  
- I'll sting you, you step on me.
- Thatjust kills you twice.

  
Right, right.

  
Listen, Barry...
sorry, but I gotta get going.

  
I had to open my mouth and talk.

  
Vanessa?

  
Vanessa? Why are you leaving?
Where are you going?

  
To the final Tournament of Roses parade
in Pasadena.

  
They've moved it to this weekend
because all the flowers are dying.

  
It's the last chance
I'll ever have to see it.

  
Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.
I never meant it to turn out like this.

  
I know. Me neither.

  
Tournament of Roses.
Roses can't do sports.

  
Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?

  
Roses!

  
Vanessa!

  
Roses?!

  
Barry?

  
- Roses are flowers!
- Yes, they are.

  
Flowers, bees, pollen!

  
I know.
That's why this is the last parade.

  
Maybe not.
Oould you ask him to slow down?

  
Oould you slow down?

  
Barry!

  
OK, I made a huge mistake.
This is a total disaster, all my fault.

  
Yes, it kind of is.

  
I've ruined the planet.
I wanted to help you

  
with the flower shop.
I've made it worse.

  
Actually, it's completely closed down.

  
I thought maybe you were remodeling.

  
But I have another idea, and it's
greater than my previous ideas combined.

  
I don't want to hear it!

  
All right, they have the roses,
the roses have the pollen.

  
I know every bee, plant
and flower bud in this park.

  
All we gotta do is get what they've got
back here with what we've got.

  
- Bees.
- Park.

  
- Pollen!
- Flowers.

  
- Repollination!
- Across the nation!

  
Tournament of Roses,
Pasadena, Oalifornia.

  
They've got nothing
but flowers, floats and cotton candy.

  
Security will be tight.

  
I have an idea.

  
Vanessa Bloome, FTD.

  
Official floral business. It's real.

  
Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.

  
Thank you. It was a gift.

  
Once inside,
we just pick the right float.

  
How about The Princess and the Pea?

  
I could be the princess,
and you could be the pea!

  
Yes, I got it.

  
- Where should I sit?
- What are you?

  
- I believe I'm the pea.
- The pea?

  
It goes under the mattresses.

  
- Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
- I'm getting the marshal.

  
You do that!
This whole parade is a fiasco!

  
Let's see what this baby'll do.

  
Hey, what are you doing?!

  
Then all we do
is blend in with traffic...

  
...without arousing suspicion.

  
Once at the airport,
there's no stopping us.

  
Stop! Security.

  
- You and your insect pack your float?
- Yes.

  
Has it been
in your possession the entire time?

  
Would you remove your shoes?

  
- Remove your stinger.
- It's part of me.

  
I know. Just having some fun.
Enjoy your flight.

  
Then if we're lucky, we'll have
just enough pollen to do the job.

  
Oan you believe how lucky we are? We
have just enough pollen to do the job!

  
I think this is gonna work.

  
It's got to work.

  
Attention, passengers,
this is Oaptain Scott.

  
We have a bit of bad weather
in New York.

  
It looks like we'll experience
a couple hours delay.

  
Barry, these are cut flowers
with no water. They'll never make it.

  
I gotta get up there
and talk to them.

  
Be careful.

  
Oan I get help
with the Sky Mall magazine?

  
I'd like to order the talking
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.

  
Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.

  
- What'd you say, Hal?
- Nothing.

  
Bee!

  
Don't freak out! My entire species...

  
What are you doing?

  
- Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
- Who's an attorney?

  
Don't move.

  
Oh, Barry.

  
Good afternoon, passengers.
This is your captain.

  
Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
please report to the cockpit?

  
And please hurry!

  
What happened here?

  
There was a DustBuster,
a toupee, a life raft exploded.

  
One's bald, one's in a boat,
they're both unconscious!

  
- Is that another bee joke?
- No!

  
No one's flying the plane!

  
This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
What's your status?

  
This is Vanessa Bloome.
I'm a florist from New York.

  
Where's the pilot?

  
He's unconscious,
and so is the copilot.

  
Not good. Does anyone onboard
have flight experience?

  
As a matter of fact, there is.

  
- Who's that?
- Barry Benson.

  
From the honey trial?! Oh, great.

  
Vanessa, this is nothing more
than a big metal bee.

  
It's got giant wings, huge engines.

  
I can't fly a plane.

  
- Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?
- Yes.

  
How hard could it be?

  
Wait, Barry!
We're headed into some lightning.

  
This is Bob Bumble. We have some
late-breaking news from JFK Airport,

  
where a suspenseful scene
is developing.

  
Barry Benson,
fresh from his legal victory...

  
That's Barry!

  
...is attempting to land a plane,
loaded with people, flowers

  
and an incapacitated flight crew.

  
Flowers?!

  
We have a storm in the area
and two individuals at the controls

  
with absolutely no flight experience.

  
Just a minute.
There's a bee on that plane.

  
I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson
and his no-account compadres.

  
They've done enough damage.

  
But isn't he your only hope?

  
Technically, a bee
shouldn't be able to fly at all.

  
Their wings are too small...

  
Haven't we heard this a million times?

  
"The surface area of the wings
and body mass make no sense."

  
- Get this on the air!
- Got it.

  
- Stand by.
- We're going live.

  
The way we work may be a mystery to you.

  
Making honey takes a lot of bees
doing a lot of small jobs.

  
But let me tell you about a small job.

  
If you do it well,
it makes a big difference.

  
More than we realized.
To us, to everyone.

  
That's why I want to get bees
back to working together.

  
That's the bee way!
We're not made of Jell-O.

  
We get behind a fellow.

  
- Black and yellow!
- Hello!

  
Left, right, down, hover.

  
- Hover?
- Forget hover.

  
This isn't so hard.
Beep-beep! Beep-beep!

  
Barry, what happened?!

  
Wait, I think we were
on autopilot the whole time.

  
- That may have been helping me.
- And now we're not!

  
So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.

  
All of you, let's get
behind this fellow! Move it out!

  
Move out!

  
Our only chance is if I do what I'd do,
you copy me with the wings of the plane!

  
Don't have to yell.

  
I'm not yelling!
We're in a lot of trouble.

  
It's very hard to concentrate
with that panicky tone in your voice!

  
It's not a tone. I'm panicking!

  
I can't do this!

  
Vanessa, pull yourself together.
You have to snap out of it!

  
You snap out of it.

  
You snap out of it.

  
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!

  
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!

  
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!

  
- Hold it!
- Why? Oome on, it's my turn.

  
How is the plane flying?

  
I don't know.

  
Hello?

  
Benson, got any flowers
for a happy occasion in there?

  
The Pollen Jocks!

  
They do get behind a fellow.

  
- Black and yellow.
- Hello.

  
All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop.

  
Where? I can't see anything. Oan you?

  
No, nothing. It's all cloudy.

  
Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.

  
- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.

  
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

  
Wait a minute.
I think I'm feeling something.

  
- What?
- I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.

  
Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.

  
Bring the nose down.

  
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

  
- What in the world is on the tarmac?
- Get some lights on that!

  
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

  
- Vanessa, aim for the flower.
- OK.

  
Out the engines. We're going in
on bee power. Ready, boys?

  
Affirmative!

  
Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.

  
Land on that flower!

  
Ready? Full reverse!

  
Spin it around!

  
- Not that flower! The other one!
- Which one?

  
- That flower.
- I'm aiming at the flower!

  
That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.
I mean the giant pulsating flower

  
made of millions of bees!

  
Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.

  
Rotate around it.

  
- This is insane, Barry!
- This's the only way I know how to fly.

  
Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane
flying in an insect-like pattern?

  
Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.
Smell it. Full reverse!

  
Just drop it. Be a part of it.

  
Aim for the center!

  
Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!

  
Oome on, already.

  
Barry, we did it!
You taught me how to fly!

  
- Yes. No high-five!
- Right.

  
Barry, it worked!
Did you see the giant flower?

  
What giant flower? Where? Of course
I saw the flower! That was genius!

  
- Thank you.
- But we're not done yet.

  
Listen, everyone!

  
This runway is covered
with the last pollen

  
from the last flowers
available anywhere on Earth.

  
That means this is our last chance.

  
We're the only ones who make honey,
pollinate flowers and dress like this.

  
If we're gonna survive as a species,
this is our moment! What do you say?

  
Are we going to be bees, orjust
Museum of Natural History keychains?

  
We're bees!

  
Keychain!

  
Then follow me! Except Keychain.

  
Hold on, Barry. Here.

  
You've earned this.

  
Yeah!

  
I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect
fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.

  
Oh, yeah.

  
That's our Barry.

  
Mom! The bees are back!

  
If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time.

  
I got a feeling we'll be
working late tonight!

  
Here's your change. Have a great
afternoon! Oan I help who's next?

  
Would you like some honey with that?
It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.

  
Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.
And I don't see a nickel!

  
Sometimes I just feel
like a piece of meat!

  
I had no idea.

  
Barry, I'm sorry.
Have you got a moment?

  
Would you excuse me?
My mosquito associate will help you.

  
Sorry I'm late.

  
He's a lawyer too?

  
I was already a blood-sucking parasite.
All I needed was a briefcase.

  
Have a great afternoon!

  
Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,
and I can't get them anywhere.

  
No problem, Vannie.
Just leave it to me.

  
You're a lifesaver, Barry.
Oan I help who's next?

  
All right, scramble, jocks!
It's time to fly.

  
Thank you, Barry!

  
That bee is living my life!

  
Let it go, Kenny.

  
- When will this nightmare end?!
- Let it all go.

  
- Beautiful day to fly.
- Sure is.

  
Between you and me,
I was dying to get out of that office.

  
You have got
to start thinking bee, my friend.

  
- Thinking bee!
- Me?

  
Hold it. Let's just stop
for a second. Hold it.

  
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.
Oan we stop here?

  
I'm not making a major life decision
during a production number!

  
All right. Take ten, everybody.
Wrap it up, guys.

  
I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

Special thanks to SergeiK.

War And Peace

2017-01-13 17:25:01 UTC

This book should bc^rcturned on or before the date last marked below.

War and Peace

The Godfather

2017-01-13 17:26:57 UTC

INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

	The PARAMOUNT Logo is presented austerely over a black
	background.  There is a moment's hesitation, and then the
	simple words in white lettering:

				  THE GODFATHER

	While this remains, we hear: "I believe in America."
	Suddenly we are watching in CLOSE VIEW, AMERIGO BONASERA, a
	man of sixty, dressed in a black suit, on the verge of great
	emotion.

				BONASERA
		America has made my fortune.

	As he speaks, THE VIEW imperceptibly begins to loosen.

				BONASERA
		I raised my daughter in the American
		fashion; I gave her freedom, but
		taught her never to dishonor her
		family.  She found a boy friend,
		not an Italian.  She went to the
		movies with him, stayed out late.
		Two months ago he took her for a
		drive, with another boy friend.
		They made her drink whiskey and
		then they tried to take advantage
		of her.  She resisted; she kept her
		honor.  So they beat her like an
		animal.  When I went to the hospital
		her nose was broken, her jaw was
		shattered and held together by
		wire, and she could not even weep
		because of the pain.

	He can barely speak; he is weeping now.

				BONASERA
		I went to the Police like a good
		American.  These two boys were
		arrested and brought to trial.  The
		judge sentenced them to three years
		in prison, and suspended the
		sentence.  Suspended sentence!
		They went free that very day.  I
		stood in the courtroom like a fool,
		and those bastards, they smiled at
		me.  Then I said to my wife, for
		Justice, we must go to The Godfather.

	By now, THE VIEW is full, and we see Don Corleone's office
	in his home.

	The blinds are closed, and so the room is dark, and with
	patterned shadows.  We are watching BONASERA over the
	shoulder of DON CORLEONE.  TOM HAGEN sits near a small
	table, examining some paperwork, and SONNY CORLEONE stands
	impatiently by the window nearest his father, sipping from a
	glass of wine.  We can HEAR music, and the laughter and
	voices of many people outside.

				DON CORLEONE
		Bonasera, we know each other for
		years, but this is the first time
		you come to me for help.  I don't
		remember the last time you invited
		me to your house for coffee...even
		though our wives are friends.

				BONASERA
		What do you want of me?  I'll give
		you anything you want, but do what
		I ask!

				DON CORLEONE
		And what is that Bonasera?

	BONASERA whispers into the DON's ear.

				DON CORLEONE
		No.  You ask for too much.

				BONASERA
		I ask for Justice.

				DON CORLEONE
		The Court gave you justice.

				BONASERA
		An eye for an eye!

				DON CORLEONE
		But your daughter is still alive.

				BONASERA
		Then make them suffer as she
		suffers.  How much shall I pay you.

	Both HAGEN and SONNY react.

				DON CORLEONE
		You never think to protect yourself
		with real friends.  You think it's
		enough to be an American.  All
		right, the Police protects you,
		there are Courts of Law, so you
		don't need a friend like me.
		But now you come to me and say Don
		Corleone, you must give me justice.
		And you don't ask in respect or
		friendship.  And you don't think to
		call me Godfather; instead you come
		to my house on the day my daughter
		is to be married and you ask me to
		do murder...for money.

				BONASERA
		America has been good to me...

				DON CORLEONE
		Then take the justice from the
		judge, the bitter with the sweet,
		Bonasera.  But if you come to me
		with your friendship, your loyalty,
		then your enemies become my enemies,
		and then, believe me, they would
		fear you...

	Slowly, Bonasera bows his head and murmurs.

				BONASERA
		Be my friend.

				DON CORLEONE
		Good.  From me you'll get Justice.

				BONASERA
		Godfather.

				DON CORLEONE
		Some day, and that day may never
		come, I would like to call upon you
		to do me a service in return.

	EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945)

	A HIGH ANGLE of the CORLEONE MALL in bright daylight.  There
	are at least five hundred guests filling the main courtyard
	and gardens.  There is music and laughing and dancing and
	countless tables covered with food and wine.

	DON CORLEONE stands at the Gate, flanked on either side by a
	son: FREDO and SONNY, all dressed in the formal attire of
	the wedding party.  He warmly shakes the hands, squeezes the
	hands of the friends and guests, pinches the cheeks of the
	children, and makes them all welcome.  They in turn carry
	with them gallons of homemade wine, cartons of freshly baked
	bread and pastries, and enormous trays of Italian delicacies.

	The entire family poses for a family portrait: DON CORLEONE,
	MAMA, SONNY, his wife, SANDRA, and their children, TOM HAGEN
	and his wife, THERESA, and their BABY; CONSTANZIA, the
	bride, and her bridegroom, CARLO RIZZI.  As they move into
	the pose, THE DON seems preoccupied.

				DON CORLEONE
		Where's Michael?

				SONNY
		He'll be here Pop, it's still early.

				DON CORLEONE
		Then the picture will wait for him.

	Everyone in the group feels the uneasiness as the DON moves
	back to the house.  SONNY gives a delicious smile in the
	direction of the Maid-of-Honor, LUCY MANCINI.  She returns
	it.  Then he moves to his wife.

				SONNY
		Sandra, watch the kids.  They're
		running wild.

				SANDRA
		You watch yourself.

	HAGEN kisses his WIFE, and follows THE DON, passing the wine
	barrels, where a group of FOUR MEN nervously wait.  TOM
	crooks a finger at NAZORINE, who doublechecks that he is
	next, straightens, and follows HAGEN.

	EXT DAY: MALL ENTRANCE (SUMMER 1945)

	Outside the main gate of the Mall, SEVERAL MEN in suits,
	working together with a MAN in a dark sedan, walk in and out
	of the rows of parked cars, writing license plate numbers
	down in their notebooks.  We HEAR the music and laughter
	coming from the party in the distance.

	A MAN stops at a limousine and copies down the number.

	BARZINI, dignified in a black homburg, is always under the
	watchful eyes of TWO BODYGUARDS as he makes his way to
	embrace DON CORLEONE in the courtyard.

	The MEN walk down another row of parked cars.  Put another
	number in the notebook.  A shiney new Cadillac with wooden
	bumpers.

	PETER CLEMENZA, dancing the Tarantella joyously, bumping
	bellies with the ladies.

				CLEMENZA
		Paulie...wine...WINE.

	He mops his sweating forehead with a big handkerchief.
	PAULIE hustles, gets a glass of icy black wine, and brings
	it to him.

				PAULIE
		You look terrif on the floor!

				CLEMENZA
		What are you, a dance judge?  Go do
		your job; take a walk around the
		neighborhood... see everything is
		okay.

	PAULIE nods and leaves; CLEMENZA takes a breath, and leaps
	back into the dance.

	The MEN walk down another row of parked cars.  Put another
	number in the notebook.

	TESSIO, a tall, gentle-looking man, dances with a NINE-YEAR-
	OLD GIRL, her little black party shoes planted on his
	enormous brown shoes.

	The MEN move on to other parked cars, when SONNY storms out
	of the gate, his face flushed with anger, followed by
	CLEMENZA and PAULIE.

				SONNY
		Buddy, this is a private party.

	The MAN doesn't answer, but points to the DRIVER of the
	sedan.  SONNY menacingly thrusts his reddened face at him.
	The DRIVER merely flips open his wallet to a greed card,
	without saying a word.  SONNY steps back, spits on the
	ground, turns, and walks away, followed by CLEMENZA, PAULIE,
	and another TWO MEN.  He doesn't say a thing for most of the
	walk back into the courtyard, and then, muttered to PAULIE.

				SONNY
		Goddamn FBI...don't respect nothing.

	INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

	DON CORLEONE sits quietly behind his massive desk in the
	dark study.

				NAZORINE
		...a fine boy from Sicily, captured
		by the American Army, and sent to
		New Jersey as a prisoner of war...

				DON CORLEONE
		Nazorine, my friend, tell me what I
		can do.

				NAZORINE
		Now that the war is over, Enzo,
		this boy is being repatriated to
		Italy.  And you see, Godfather...
			  (he wrings his hands,
			  unable to express himself)
		He...my daughter...they...

				DON CORLEONE
		You want him to stay in this country.

				NAZORINE
		Godfather, you understand everything.

				DON CORLEONE
		Tom, what we need is an Act of
		Congress to allow Enzo to become a
		citizen.

				NAZORINE
			  (impressed)
		An Act of Congress!

				HAGEN
			  (nodding)
		It will cost.

	The DON shrugs; such are the way with those things; NAZORINE
	nods.

				NAZORINE
		Is that all?  Godfather, thank
		you...
			  (backing out, enthusiastically)
		Oh, wait till you see the cake I
		made for your beautiful daughter!

	NAZORINE backs out, all smiles, and nods to the GODFATHER.
	DON CORLEONE rises and moves to the Venetian blinds.

				HAGEN
		Who do I give this job to?

	The DON moves to the windows, peeking out through the blinds.

				DON CORLEONE
		Not to one of our paisans...give it
		to a Jew Congressman in another
		district.  Who else is on the list
		for today?

	The DON is peeking out to the MEN around the barrel, waiting
	to see him.

				HAGEN
		Francesco Nippi.  His nephew has
		been refused parole.  A bad case.

	EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945)

	WHAT HE SEES:

	NIPPI waits nervously by the barrel.

				HAGEN (O.S.)
		His father worked with you in the
		freight yards when you were young.

	LUCA BRASI sitting alone, grotesque and quiet.

				HAGEN (O.S.)
		He's not on the list, but Luca
		Brasi wants to see you.

	INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

	The DON turns to HAGEN.

				DON CORLEONE
		Is it necessary?

				HAGEN
		You understand him better than
		anyone.

	The DON nods to this.  Turns back to the blinds and peeks out.

	EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945)

	WHAT HE SEES:

	MICHAEL CORLEONE, dressed in the uniform of a Marine Captain,
	leads KAY ADAMS through the wedding crowd, occasionally
	stopped and greeted by FRIENDS of the family.

	INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

	The DON, inside the office, peering through the blinds,
	following them.

	EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945)

	MICHAEL moves through the crowd, embraces MAMA and introduces
	her to his GIRL.

	EXT DAY: OFFICE WINDOW (SUMMER 1945)

	The DON's eyes peering through the blinds.

	EXT DAY: MALL TABLES (SUMMER 1945)

	KAY and MICHAEL settle by a table on the edge of the wedding,
	burdened down with plates of food and glasses and wine.  She
	is exhilarated by the enormity of the affair, the music and
	the vitality.

				KAY
		I've never seen anything like it.

				MICHAEL
		I told you I had a lot of relatives.

	KAY looking about, a young and lively thing in a gift shop.
	We see what she sees:

	Her interest is caught by THREE MEN standing by the wine
	barrels.

				KAY
			  (amused)
		Michael, what are those men doing?

				MICHAEL
		They're waiting to see my father.

				KAY
		They're talking to themselves.

				MICHAEL
		They're going to talk to my father,
		which means they're going to ask
		him for something, which means they
		better get it right.

				KAY
		Why do they bother him on a day
		like this?

				MICHAEL
		Because they know that no Sicilian
		will refuse a request on his
		daughter's wedding day.

	EXT DAY: WEDDING PARTY (SUMMER 1945)

	CONNIE CORLEONE, the Bride, is pressing the bodice of her
	overly-fluffy white gown against the groom, CARLO RIZZI.  He
	is bronzed, with curly blondish hair and lovely dimples.
	She absolutely adores him and can barely take her eyes from
	him long enough to thank the various GUESTS for the white
	envelopes they are putting into the large white purse she
	holds.  In fact, if we watch carefully, we can see that one
	of her hands is slid under his jacket, and into his shirt,
	where she is provocatively rubbing the hair on his chest.
	CARLO, on the other hand, has his blue eyes trained on the
	bulging envelopes, and is trying to guess how much cash the
	things hold.

	Discreetly, he moves her hand off of his skin.

				CARLO
			  (whispered)
		Cut it out, Connie.

	The purse, looped by a ribbon of silk around CONNIE's arm,
	is fat with money.

				PAULIE (O.S.)
		What do you think?  Twenty grand?

	A little distance away, a young man, PAULIE GATTO, catches a
	prosciutto sandwich thrown by a friend, without once taking
	eyes from the purse.

				PAULIE
		Who knows?  Maybe more.  Twenty,
		thirty grand in small bills cash in
		that silk purse.  Holy Toledo, if
		this was somebody else's wedding!

	SONNY is sitting at the Wedding Dias, talking to LUCY
	MANCINI, the Maid of Honor.  Every once in a while he
	glances across the courtyard, where his WIFE is talking with
	some WOMEN.

	He bends over and whispers something into LUCY's ear.

	SANDRA and the WOMEN are in the middle of a big, ribald laugh.

				WOMAN
		Is it true what they say about your
		husband, Sandra?

	SANDRA's hands separate with expanding width further and
	further apart until she bursts into a peal of laughter.
	Through her separated hands she sees the Wedding Dais.
	SONNY and LUCY are gone.

	INT DAY: DON'S HALL & STAIRS (SUMMER 1945)

	The empty hallway.  The bathroom door opens and LUCY
	surreptitiously steps out.

	She looks up where SONNY is standing on the second landing,
	motioning for her to come up.

	She lifts her petticoats off the ground and hurries upstairs.

	EXT DAY: MALL TABLES (SUMMER 1945)

	KAY and MICHAEL.

				KAY
			  (in a spooky low tone)
		Michael, that scarey guy...Is he a
		relative?

	She has picked out LUCA BRASI.

				MICHAEL
		No.  His name is Luca Brasi.  You
		wouldn't like him.

				KAY
			  (Excited)
		Who is he?

				MICHAEL
			  (Sizing her up)
		You really want to know?

				KAY
		Yes.  Tell me.

				MICHAEL
		You like spaghetti?

				KAY
		You know I love spaghetti.

				MICHAEL
		Then eat your spaghetti and I'll
		tell you a Luca Brasi story.

	She starts to eat her spaghetti.

	She begins eating, looking at him eagerly.

				MICHAEL
		Once upon a time, about fifteen
		years ago some people wanted to
		take over my father's olive oil
		business.  They had Al Capone send
		some men in from Chicago to kill my
		father, and they almost did.

				KAY
		Al Capone!

				MICHAEL
		My Father sent Luca Brasi after
		them.  He tied the two Capone men
		hand and foot, and stuffed small
		bath towels into their mouths.
		Then he took an ax, and chopped one
		man's feet off...

				KAY
		Michael...

				MICHAEL
		Then the legs at the knees...

				KAY
		Michael you're trying to scare me...

				MICHAEL
		Then the thighs where they joined
		the torso.

				KAY
		Michael, I don't want to hear
		anymore...

				MICHAEL
		Then Luca turned to the other man...

				KAY
		Michael, I love you.

				MICHAEL
		...who out of sheer terror had
		swallowed the bath towel in his
		mouth and suffocated.

	The smile on his face seems to indicate that he is telling a
	tall story.

				KAY
		I never know when you're telling me
		the truth.

				MICHAEL
		I told you you wouldn't like him.

				KAY
		He's coming over here!

	LUCA comes toward them to meet TOM HAGEN halfway, just near
	their table.

				MICHAEL
		Tom...Tom, I'd like you to meet Kay
		Adams.

				KAY
			  (having survived LUCA)
		How do you do.

				MICHAEL
		My brother, Tom Hagen.

				HAGEN
		Hello Kay.  Your father's inside,
		doing some business.
			  (privately)
		He's been asking for you.

				MICHAEL
		Thanks Tom.

	HAGEN smiles and moves back to the house, LUCA ominously
	following.

				KAY
		If he's your brother, why does he
		have a different name?

				MICHAEL
		My brother Sonny found him living
		in the streets when he was a kid,
		so my father took him in.  He's a
		good lawyer.

	INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

	DON CORLEONE at the window.  He has seen the intimacy of the
	YOUNG COUPLE.

				LUCA (O.S.)
		Don Corleone...

	THE DON turns to the stiffly formal LUCA, and he moves
	forward to kiss his hand.  He takes the envelope from his
	jacket, holds it out, but does not release it until he makes
	a formal speech.

				LUCA
			  (with difficulty)
		Don Corleone...I am honored, and
		grateful...that you invited me to
		your home...on the wedding day of
		your...daughter.
		May their first child...be a
		masculine child.  I pledge my never
		ending loyalty.
			  (he offers the envelope)
		For your daughter's bridal purse.

				DON CORLEONE
		Thank you, Luca, my most valued
		friend.

	THE DON takes it, and then LUCA's hand, which he squeezes so
	tightly we might imagine it to be painful.

				LUCA
		Let me leave you, Don Corleone.  I
		know you are busy.

	He turns, almost an about-face, and leaves the study with
	the same formality he entered with.  DON CORLEONE breathes
	more easily, and gives the thick envelope to HAGEN.

				DON CORLEONE
		I'm sure it's the most generous
		gift today.

				HAGEN
		The Senator called--apologized for
		not coming personally, but said
		you'd understand.  Also, some of
		the Judges...they've all sent gifts.
		And another call from Virgil
		Sollozzo.

	DON CORLEONE is not pleased.

				HAGEN
		The action is narcotics.  Sollozzo
		has contacts in Turkey for the
		poppy, in Sicily for the plants to
		process down to morphine or up to
		heroin.  Also he has access to this
		country.  He's coming to us for
		financial help, and some sort of
		immunity from the law.  For that we
		get a piece of the action, I
		couldn't find out how much.
		Sollozzo is vouched for by the
		Tattaglia family, and they may have
		a piece of the action.  They call
		Sollozzo the Turk.
		He's spent a lot of time in Turkey
		and is suppose to have a Turkish
		wife and kids.  He's suppose to be
		very quick with the knife, or was,
		when he was younger.  Only in
		matters of business and with some
		reasonable complaint.  Also he has
		an American wife and three children
		and he is a good family man.

	THE DON nods.

				HAGEN
		He's his own boss, and very
		competent.

				DON CORLEONE
		And with prison record.

				HAGEN
		Two terms; one in Italy, one in the
		United States.  He's known to the
		Government as a top narcotics man.
		That could be a plus for us; he
		could never get immunity to testify.

				DON CORLEONE
		When did he call?

				HAGEN
		This morning.

				DON CORLEONE
		On a day like this.  Consiglero, do
		you also have in your notes the the
		Turk made his living from
		Prostitution before the war, like
		the Tattaglias do now.  Write that
		down before you forget it.  The
		Turk will wait.

	We now begin to hear a song coming over the loud-speakers
	from outside.  In Italian, with unmistakable style.

				DON CORLEONE
		What that?  It sounds like Johnny.

	He moves to the window, pulls the blinds up, flooding the
	room with light.

				DON CORLEONE
		It is Johnny.  He came all the way
		from California to be at the wedding.

				HAGEN
		Should I bring him in.

				DON CORLEONE
		No.  Let the people enjoy him.  You
		see?  He is a good godson.

				HAGEN
		It's been two years.  He's probably
		in trouble again.

	EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945)

	JOHNNY FONTANE on the bandstand, singing to the delight and
	excitement of the wedding GUESTS.

				KAY
		I didn't know your family knew
		Johnny Fontane.

				MICHAEL
		Sure.

				KAY
		I used to come down to New York
		whenever he sang at the Capitol and
		scream my head off.

				MICHAEL
		He's my father's godson; he owes
		him his whole career.

	JOHNNY finishes the song and the CROWD screams with delight.
	They call out for another when DON CORLEONE appears.

				DON CORLEONE
		My Godson has come three thousand
		miles to do us honor and no one
		thinks to wet his throat.

	At once a dozen wine glasses are offered to JOHNNY, who
	takes a sip from each as he moves to embrace his GODFATHER.

				JOHNNY
		I kept trying to call you after my
		divorce and Tom always said you
		were busy.  When I got the Wedding
		invitation I knew you weren't sore
		at me anymore, Godfather.

				DON CORLEONE
		Can I do something for you still?
		You're not too rich, or too famous
		that I can't help you?

				JOHNNY
		I'm not rich anymore, Godfather,
		and...my career, I'm almost washed
		up...

	He's very disturbed.  The GODFATHER indicates that he come
	with him to the office so no one will notice.  He turns to
	HAGEN.

				DON CORLEONE
		Tell Santino to come in with us.
		He should hear some things.

	They go, leaving HAGEN scanning the party looking for SONNY.

	INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

	HAGEN glances up the staircase.

				HAGEN
		Sonny?

	Then he goes up.

	INT DAY: DON'S UPSTAIRS ROOM (SUMMER 1945)

	SONNY and LUCY are in a room upstairs; he has lifted her
	gown's skirts almost over her head, and has her standing
	against the door.  Her face peeks out from the layers of
	petticoats around it like a flower in ecstasy.

				LUCY
		Sonnyeeeeeeee.

	Her head bouncing against the door with the rhythm of his
	body.  But there is a knocking as well.  They stop, freeze
	in that position.

				HAGEN (O.S.)
		Sonny?  Sonny, you in there?

	INT DAY: DON'S UPSTAIRS HALLWAY (SUMMER 1945)

	Outside, HAGEN by the door.

				HAGEN
		The old man wants you; Johnny's
		here...he's got a problem.

				SONNY (O.S.)
		Okay.  One minute.

	HAGEN hesitates.  We HEAR LUCY's head bouncing against the
	door again.  TOM leaves.

	INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

				DON CORLEONE
		ACT LIKE A MAN!  By Christ in
		Heaven, is it possible you turned
		out no better than a Hollywood
		finocchio.

	Both HAGEN and JOHNNY cannot refrain from laughing.  The DON
	smiles.  SONNY enters as noiselessly as possible, still
	adjusting his clothes.

				DON CORLEONE
		All right, Hollywood...Now tell me
		about this Hollywood Pezzonovanta
		who won't let you work.

				JOHNNY
		He owns the studio.  Just a month
		ago he bought the movie rights to
		this book, a best seller.  And the
		main character is a guy just like
		me.  I wouldn't even have to act,
		just be myself.

	The DON is silent, stern.

				DON CORLEONE
		You take care of your family?

				JOHNNY
		Sure.

	He glances at SONNY, who makes himself as inconspicuous as
	he can.

				DON CORLEONE
		You look terrible.  I want you to
		eat well, to rest.  And spend time
		with your family.  And then, at the
		end of the month, this big shot
		will give you the part you want.

				JOHNNY
		It's too late.  All the contracts
		have been signed, they're almost
		ready to shoot.

				DON CORLEONE
		I'll make him an offer he can't
		refuse.

	He takes JOHNNY to the door, pinching his cheek hard enough
	to hurt.

				DON CORLEONE
		Now go back to the party and leave
		it to me.

	He closes the door, smiling to himself.  Turns to HAGEN.

				DON CORLEONE
		When does my daughter leave with
		her bridegroom?

				HAGEN
		They'll cut the cake in a few
		minutes...leave right after that.
		Your new son-in-law, do we give him
		something important?

				DON CORLEONE
		No, give him a living.  But never
		let him know the family's business.
		What else, Tom?

				HAGEN
		I've called the hospital; they've
		notified Consiglere Genco's family
		to come and wait.  He won't last
		out the night.

	This saddens the DON.  He sighs.

				DON CORLEONE
		Genco will wait for me.  Santino,
		tell your brothers they will come
		with me to the hospital to see
		Genco.  Tell Fredo to drive the big
		car, and ask Johnny to come with us.

				SONNY
		And Michael?

				DON CORLEONE
		All my sons.
			  (to HAGEN)
		Tom, I want you to go to California
		tonight.  Make the arrangements.
		But don't leave until I come back
		from the hospital and speak to you.
		Understood?

				HAGEN
		Understood.

	EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945)

	Now all the wedding GUESTS excitedly clap their hands over
	the entrance of the cake: NAZORINE is beaming as he wheels
	in a serving table containing the biggest, gaudiest, most
	extravagant wedding cake ever baked, an incredible monument
	of his gratitude.  The CROWD is favorably impressed: they
	begin to clink their knives or forks against their glasses,
	in the traditional request for the Bride to cut the cake and
	kiss the Groom.  Louder and louder, five hundred forks
	hitting five hundred glasses.

	EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945)

	Silence.

	HIGH ANGLE ON THE MALL, late day.  The GUESTS are gone.  A
	single black car is in the courtyard.  FREDDIE is behind the
	driver's seat: the DON enters the car, looks at MICHAEL, who
	sits between SONNY and JOHNNY in the rear seat.

				DON CORLEONE
		Will your girl friend get back to
		the city all right?

				MICHAEL
		Tom said he'd take care of it.

	The DON pulls the door shut; and the car pulls out, through
	the gate of the great Corleone Mall.

	INT DAY: HOSPITAL CORRIDOR (SUMMER 1945)

	A long white hospital corridor, at the end of which we can
	see a grouping of FIVE WOMEN, some old and some young, but
	all plump and dressed in black.

	DON CORLEONE and his SONS move toward the end.  But then the
	DON slows, putting his hand on MICHAEL's shoulder.  MICHAEL
	stops and turns toward his FATHER.  The two looks at one
	another for some time.  SILENCE.  DON CORLEONE then lifts
	his hand, and slowly touches a particular medal on MICHAEL's
	uniform.

				DON CORLEONE
		What was this for?

				MICHAEL
		For bravery.

				DON CORLEONE
		And this?

				MICHAEL
		For killing a man.

				DON CORLEONE
		What miracles you do for strangers.

				MICHAEL
		I fought for my country.  It was my
		choice.

				DON CORLEONE
		And now, what do you choose to do?

				MICHAEL
		I'm going to finish school.

				DON CORLEONE
		Good.  When you are finished, come
		and talk to me.  I have hopes for
		you.

	Again they regard each other without a word.  MICHAEL turns,
	and continues on.  DON CORLEONE watches a moment, and then
	follows.

	INT DAY: HOSPITAL ROOM (SUMMER 1945)

	DON CORLEONE enters the hospital room, moving closest to OUR
	VIEW.  He is followed by his SONS, JOHNNY and the WOMEN.

				DON CORLEONE
			  (whispered)
		Genco, I've brought my sons to pay
		their respects.  And look, even
		Johnny Fontane, all the way from
		Hollywood.

	GENCO is a tiny, wasted skeleton of a man.  DON CORLEONE
	takes his bony hand, as the others arrange themselves around
	his bed, each clasping the other hand in turn.

				GENCO
		Godfather, Godfather, it's your
		daughter's wedding day, you cannot
		refuse me.  Cure me, you have the
		power.

				DON CORLEONE
		I have no such power...but Genco,
		don't fear death.

				GENCO
			  (with a sly wink)
		It's been arranged, then?

				DON CORLEONE
		You blaspheme.  Resign yourself.

				GENCO
		You need your old Consigliere.  Who
		will replace me?
			  (suddenly)
		Stay with me Godfather.  Help me
		meet death.  If he sees you, he
		will be frightened and leave me in
		peace.  You can say a word, pull a
		few strings, eh?  We'll outwit that
		bastard as we outwitted all those
		others.
			  (clutching his hand)
		Godfather, don't betray me.

	The DON motions all the others to leave the room.  They do.
	He returns his attention to GENCO, holding his hand and
	whispering things we cannot hear, as they wait for death.

	INT NIGHT: AIRPLANE (SUMMER 1945)

	FADE IN:

	The interior of a non-stop Constellation.  HAGEN is one of
	the very few passengers on this late flight.  He looks like
	any young lawyer on a business trip.  He is tired from the
	difficult preparation and duties that he has just executed
	during the wedding.  On the seat next to him is an enormous,
	bulging briefcase.  He closes his eyes.

	INT NIGHT: HONEYMOON HOTEL (SUMMER 1945)

	The honeymoon hotel: CARLO and CONNIE.  CARLO is in his
	undershorts, sitting up on the bed, anxiously taking the
	envelopes out of the silk bridal purse and counting the
	contents.  CONNIE prepares herself in the large marble
	bathroom.  She rubs her hands over his bronze shoulders, and
	tries to get his interest.

	INT NIGHT: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

	DON CORLEONE in his office.  LUCA BRASI sitting near to him.

				DON CORLEONE
		Luca, I am worried about this man
		Sollozzo.  Find out what you can,
		through the Tattaglias.  Let them
		believe you could be tempted away
		from the Corleone Family, if the
		right offer was made.  Learn what
		he has under his fingernails...

	INT NIGHT: MANCINI APT. HALL (SUMMER 1945)

	The hallway of an apartment building.  SONNY enters, climbs
	two steps at a time.  He knocks, and then whispers.

				SONNY
		It's me, Sonny.

	The door opens, and two lovely arms are around him, pulling
	him into the apartment.

	INT NIGHT: LUCA'S ROOM (WINTER 1945)

	LUCA BRASI's tiny room.  He is partly dressed.  He kneels
	and reaches under his bed and pulls out a small, locked
	trunk.  He opens it, and takes out a heavy, bullet-proof
	vest.  He puts it on, over his wool undershirt, and then
	puts on his shirt and jacket.  He takes his gun, quickly
	disassembles, checks, and reassembles it.  And leaves.

	INT NIGHT: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

	A CLOSE VIEW of DON CORLEONE thinking quietly.

	INT NIGHT: MOVING TRAIN (SUMMER 1945)

	MICHAEL and KAY on a train, speeding on their way to New
	Hampshire.

	INT NIGHT: SUBWAY (WINTER 1945)

	LUCA, in his bulky jacket, sitting quietly on an empty
	subway train.

	INT NIGHT: AIRPLANE (SUMMER 1945)

	HAGEN on the Constellation.  He reaches into his briefcase,
	and takes out several pictures and papers.

	One photograph is of a smiling man, JACK WOLTZ, linked arm
	in arm with fifteen movie stars on either side, including a
	lovely young child star to his immediate right.

	HAGEN considers other papers.

	INT NIGHT: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

	DON CORLEONE looks, and then moves HAGEN into an embrace.
	He straightens his arms and looks at TOM deeply.

				DON CORLEONE
		Remember my new Consigliere, a
		lawyer with his briefcase can steal
		more than a hundred men with guns.

	EXT DAY: WOLTZ ESTATE GATE (SUMMER 1945)

	JACK WOLTZ ESTATE.  HAGEN stands before the impressive gate,
	armed only with his briefcase.  A GATEMAN opens the gate,
	and TOM enters.

	EXT DAY: WOLTZ GARDENS (SUMMER 1945)

	HAGEN and WOLTZ comfortably stroll along beautiful formal
	gardens, martinis in hand.

				WOLTZ
		You should have told me your boss
		was Corleone, Tom, I had to check
		you out.  I thought you were just
		some third rate hustler Johnny was
		running in to bluff me.
			  (a piece of statuary)
		Florence, thirteenth century.
		Decorated the garden of a king.

	They cross the garden and head toward the stables.

				WOLTZ
		I'm going to show you something
		beautiful.

	They pass the stables, and come to rest by a stall with a
	huge bronze plaque attached to the outside wall: "KHARTOUM."
	TWO SECURITY GUARDS are positioned in chairs nearby; they
	rise as WOLTZ approaches.

				WOLTZ
		You like horses?  I like horses, I
		love 'em.  Beautiful, expensive
		Racehorses.

	The animal inside is truly beautiful.  WOLTZ whispers to him
	with true love in his voice.

				WOLTZ
		Khartoum...Kartoum...You are
		looking at six hundred thousand
		dollars on four hoofs.  I bet even
		Russian Czars never paid that kind
		of dough for a single horse.  But
		I'm not going to race him I'm going
		to put him out to Stud.

	INT NIGHT: WOLTZ DINING ROOM (SUMMER 1945)

	HAGEN and WOLTZ sit at an enormous dining room table,
	attended by SEVERAL SERVANTS.  Great paintings hang on the
	walls.  The meal is elaborate and sumptuous.

				HAGEN
		Mr. Corleone is Johnny's Godfather.
		That is very close, a very sacred
		religious relationship.

				WOLTZ
		Okay, but just tell him this is one
		favor I can't give.  But he should
		try me again on anything else.

				HAGEN
		He never asks a second favor when
		he has been refused the first.
		Understood?

				WOLTZ
		You smooth son of a bitch, let me
		lay it on the line for you, and
		your boss.  Johnny Fontane never
		gets that movie.  I don't care how
		many Dago, Guinea, wop Greaseball
		Goombahs come out of the woodwork!

				HAGEN
		I'm German-Irish.

				WOLTZ
		Okay my Kraut-Mick friend, Johnny
		will never get that part because I
		hate that pinko punk and I'm going
		to run him out of the Movies.  And
		I'll tell you why.  He ruined one
		of Woltz Brothers' most valuable
		proteges.  For five years I had
		this girl under training; singing
		lessons!  Acting lessons!  Dancing
		lessons!  We spent hundreds of
		thousands of dollars--I was going
		to make her a star.  I'll be even
		more frank, just to show you that
		I'm not a hard-hearted man, that it
		wasn't all dollars and cents.  That
		girl was beautiful and young and
		innocent and she was the greatest
		piece of ass I've ever ad and I've
		had them all over the world.  Then
		Johnny comes along with that olive
		oil voice and guinea charm and she
		runs off.  She threw it all away to
		make me look ridiculous.  A MAN IN
		MY POSITION CANNOT AFFORD TO BE
		MADE TO LOOK RIDICULOUS!

	EXT DAY: GENCO OLIVE OIL CO. (SUMMER 1945)

	An unimposing little building in New York City on Mott
	Street with a large old sign: "GENCO OLIVE OIL IMPORTS,
	INC." next to an open-faced fruit market.

	A dark Buick pulls up, and a single small man, whom we
	cannot see well because of the distance, gets out and enters
	the building.  This is VIRGIL SOLLOZZO.

	INT DAY: OLIVE OIL OFFICES (SUMMER 1945)

	Looking toward the staircase we can hear SOLLOZZO's footsteps
	before he actually rises into view.  He is a small man, very
	dark, with curly black hair.  But wiry, and tight and hard,
	and obviously very dangerous.  He is greeted at the head of
	the stairs by SONNY, who takes his hand and shakes it,
	introducing himself.  For a moment, there is a complex of
	handshaking quite formal, and whispered respectful
	introductions.  Finally, SOLLOZZO is taken into the DON's
	glass paneled office; the two principals are introduced.
	They are very respectful of one another.  Folding chairs are
	brought in by FREDDIE, and soon they are all sitting around
	in a circle; the DON, SOLLOZZO, SONNY, HAGEN, FREDDIE,
	CLEMENZA and TESSIO.  The DON is the slightest bit foolish
	with all his compatriots, whereas SOLLOZZO has brought no
	one.  Throughout all that transpires, however, it is clear
	that this scene is between two men: SOLLOZZO and DON CORLEONE.

				SOLLOZZO
		My business is heroin, I have poppy
		fields, laboratories in Narseilles
		and Sicily, ready to go into
		production.  My importing methods
		are as safe as these things can be,
		about five per cent loss.  The risk
		is nothing, the profits enormous.

				DON CORLEONE
		Why do you come to me?  Why do I
		deserve your generosity?

				SOLLOZZO
		I need two million dollars in
		cash...more important, I need a
		friend who has people in high
		places; a friend who can guarantee
		that if one of my employees be
		arrested, they would get only light
		sentences.  Be my friend.

				DON CORLEONE
		What percentages for my family?

				SOLLOZZO
		Thirty per cent.  In the first year
		your share would be four million
		dollars; then it would go up.

				DON CORLEONE
		And what is the percentage of the
		Tattaglia family?

	SOLLOZZO nods toward HAGEN.

				SOLLOZZO
		My compliments.  I'll take care of
		them from my share.

				DON CORLEONE
		So.  I receive 30 per cent just for
		finance and legal protection.  No
		worries about operations, is that
		what you tell me?

				SOLLOZZO
		If you think two million dollars in
		cash is just finance, I congratulate
		you Don Corleone.

	There is a long silence; in which each person present feels
	the tension.  The DON is about to give his answer.

				DON CORLEONE
		I said I would see you because I've
		heard you're a serious man, to be
		treated with respect...
			  (pause)
		But I'll say no to you.

	We feel this around the room.

				DON CORLEONE
		I'll give you my reasons.  I have
		many, many friends in Politics.
		But they wouldn't be so friendly if
		my business was narcotics instead
		of gambling.  They think gambling
		is something like liquor, a harmless
		vice...and they think narcotics is
		dirty business.

	SOLLOZZO takes a breath.

				DON CORLEONE
		No...how a man makes his living is
		none of my business.  But this
		proposition of yours is too risky.
		All the people in my family lived
		well the last ten years, I won't
		risk that out of greed.

				SOLLOZZO
		Are you worried about security for
		your million?

				DON CORLEONE
		No.

				SOLLOZZO
		The Tattaglias will guarantee your
		investment also.

	This startles SONNY; he blurts out.

				SONNY
		The Tattaglia family guarantees our
		investment?

	SOLLOZZO hears him first, and then very slowly turns to face
	him.  Everyone is the room knows that SONNY has stepped out
	of line.

				DON CORLEONE
		Young people are greedy, and they
		have no manners.  They speak when
		they should listen.  But I have a
		sentimental weakness for my
		children, and I've spoiled them, as
		you see.  But Signor Sollozzo, my
		no is final.

	SOLLOZZO nods, understands that this is the dismissal.  He
	glances one last time at SONNY.  He rises; all the others do
	as well.  He bows to the DON, shakes his hand, and formally
	takes his leave.  When the footsteps can no longer be heard:

	The DON turns to SONNY.

				DON CORLEONE
		Santino, never let anyone outside
		the family know what you are
		thinking.  I think your brain is
		going soft from all that comedy you
		play with that young girl.

	TWO OFFICE WORKERS are carrying an enormous floral display
	with the word "THANK YOU" spelled out in flowers.

				DON CORLEONE
		What is this nonsense?

				HAGEN
		It's from Johnny.  It was announced
		this morning.  He's going to play
		the lead in the new Woltz Brothers
		film.

	INT DAY: WOLTZ'S BEDROOM (SUMMER 1945)

	It is large, dominated by a huge bed, in which a man,
	presumably WOLTZ, is sleeping.  Soft light bathes the room
	from the large windows.  We move closer to him until we see
	his face, and recognize JACK WOLTZ.  He turns uncomfortably;
	mutters, feels something strange in his bedsheets.  Something
	wet.

	He wakens, feels the sheets with displeasure; they are wet.
	He looks at his hand; the wetness is blood.  He is
	frightened, pulls aside the covers, and sees fresh blood on
	his sheets and pajamas.  He grunts, pulls the puddle of
	blood in his bed.  He feels his own body frantically,
	moving, down, following the blood, until he is face to face
	with the great severed head of Khartoum lying at the foot of
	his bed.  Just blood from the hacked neck.  White reedy
	tendons show.  He struggles up to his elbows in the puddle
	of blood to see more clearly.  Froth covers the muzzle, and
	the enormous eyes of the animal are yellowed and covered
	with blood.

	WOLTZ tries to scream; but cannot.  No sound comes out.
	Then, finally and suddenly an ear-splitting scream of pure
	terror escapes from WOLTZ, who is rocking on his hands and
	knees in an uncontrolled fit, blood all over him.

	INT DAY: OLIVE OIL OFFICES (SUMMER 1945)

	CLOSE VIEW on the GODFATHER.  Nodding.

				DON CORLEONE
		Send Johnny my congratulations.

	----------------------------------------FADE OUT--------

	(SCENES 12 & 12 OMITTED)

	FADE IN:

	EXT DAY: FIFTH AVENUE (WINTER 1945)

	Fifth Avenue in the snow.  Christmas week.  People are
	bundled up with rosy faces, rushing to buy presents.

	KAY and MICHAEL exit a Fifth Avenue department store,
	carrying a stack of gaily wrapped gifts, arm in arm.

				KAY
		We have something for your mother,
		for Sonny, we have the tie for
		Fredo and Tom Hagen gets the
		Reynolds pen...

				MICHAEL
		And what do you want for Christmas?

				KAY
		Just you.

	They kiss.

	INT DAY: HOTEL ROOM (WINTER 1945)

	CLOSE ON a wooden radio, playing quiet Music.  THE VIEW PANS
	AROUND the dark hotel room, curtained against the daylight.

				MICHAEL (O.S.)
		We'll have a quiet, civil ceremony
		at the City Hall, no big fuss, no
		family, just a couple of friends as
		witnesses.

	The two are in each other's arms in a mess of bedsheets on
	the two single beds that they have pushed together.

				KAY
		What will your father say?

				MICHAEL
		As long as I tell him beforehand he
		won't object.  He'll be hurt, but
		he won't object.

				KAY
		What time do they expect us?

				MICHAEL
		For dinner.  Unless I call and tell
		them we're still in New Hampshire.

				KAY
		Michael.

				MICHAEL
		Then we can have dinner, see a
		show, and spend one more night.

	He moves to the telephone.

				MICHAEL (CONT'D.)
		Operator.  Get me
			  (fill in number)


				KAY
		Michael, what are you doing?

				MICHAEL
		Shhh, you be the long distance
		operator.  Here.

				KAY
		Hello...this is Long Distance.  I
		have a call from New Hampshire.  Mr.
		Michael Corleone.  One moment please.

	She hands the phone to MICHAEL who continues the deception.

				MICHAEL
		Hello, Tom?  Michael.  Yeah...
		listen, we haven't left yet.  I'm
		driving down to the city with Kay
		tomorrow morning.  There's something
		important I want to tell the old
		man before Christmas.  Will he be
		home tomorrow night?

	INT DAY: OLIVE OIL OFFICE (WINTER 1945)

	HAGEN in the Olive Oil Company office.  In the background,
	through the glass partitions, we can see the DON, at work in
	his office.  TOM is tired, and steeped in paperwork.

				HAGEN (O.S.)
		Sure.  Anything I can do for you.

				MICHAEL (O.S.)
		No.  I guess I'll see you Christmas.
		Everyone's going to be out at Long
		Beach, right?

				HAGEN
		Right.

	He smiles.  MICHAEL has hung up.  He looks at the piles of
	work, and can't face it.  He rises, puts on his coat and
	hat, and continues out.

	He peeks into the DON's office.

				HAGEN
		Michael called; he's not leaving
		New Hampshire until tomorrow
		morning.  I've got to go, I promised
		Theresa I'd pick up some toys for
		the kids.

	The DON smiles and nods.

	TOM smiles, and leaves; OUR VIEW remaining with DON CORLEONE.
	FREDDIE is sitting on a bench in the corner, reading the
	afternoon paper.  He puts aside the papers the office
	manager has prepared for him, and then moves to FREDDIE,
	raps his knuckles on his head to take his nose out of the
	paper.

				DON CORLEONE
		Tell Paulie to get the car from the
		lot; I'll be ready to go home in a
		few minutes.

				FREDO
		I'll have to get it myself; Paulie
		called in sick this morning.

				DON CORLEONE
		That's the third time this month.
		I think maybe you'd better get a
		healthier bodyguard for me.  Tell
		Tom.

				FREDO
			  (going)
		Paulie's a good kid.  If he's sick,
		he's sick.  I don't mind getting
		the car.

	FREDDIE leaves.  He slowly puts on his jacket.  Looks out
	his window.

	EXT DUSK: OLIVE OIL CO. (WINTER 1945)

	FREDDIE crosses the street.

	INT DUSK: OLIVE OIL OFFICE (WINTER 1945)

				OFFICE MANAGER
		Buon Watale, Don Corleone.

	The MANAGER helps him on with his overcoat.  Once again, the
	DON glances out his window.

	The black car pulls up; FREDDIE driving.

				DON CORLEONE
		Merry Christmas.
			  (handing the MANAGER
			  an envelope)


	And he starts down the stairs.

	EXT DUSK: OLIVE OIL CO. (WINTER 1945)

	The light outside is very cold, and beginning to fail.  When
	FREDDIE sees his FATHER coming, he moves back into the
	driver's seat.  The DON moves to the car, and is about to
	get in when he hesitates, and turns back to the long, open
	fruit stand near the corner.

	The PROPRIETOR springs to serve him.  The DON walks among
	the trays and baskets, and merely points to a particular
	piece of fruit.  As he selects, the MAN gingerly picks the
	pieces of fruit up and puts them into a paper bag.  The DON
	pays with a five dollar bill, waits for his change, and then
	turns back to the car.

	EXT DUSK: POLKS TOY STORE (WINTER 1945)

	TOM HAGEN exits carrying a stack of presents, all gift
	wrapped.  He continues past the windows.  As he walks,
	someone walks right in his way.  He looks up.  It is SOLLOZZO.

	He takes TOM by the arm and walks along with him.

				SOLLOZZO
			  (quietly)
		Don't be frightened.  I just want
		to talk to you.

	A car parked at the curb suddenly flings its rear door open.

				SOLLOZZO
			  (urgently)
		Get in; I want to talk to you.

	HAGEN pulls his arm free.  He is frightened.

				HAGEN
		I haven't got time.

	TWO MEN suddenly appear on either side of him.

				SOLLOZZO
		Get in the car.  If I wanted to
		kill you you'd be dead already.
		Trust me.

	HAGEN, sick to his stomach, moves with his ESCORTS, leaving
	our VIEW on the Mechanical windows gaily bobbing the story
	of Hansel and Gretel.  We HEAR the car doors shut, and the
	car drive off.

	EXT NIGHT: RADIO CITY - PHONE BOOTH (WINTER 1945)

	RADIO CITY MUSIC HALL during the Christmas show.  KAY and
	MICHAEL exit; tears are still streaming down her cheeks, and
	she sniffles, and dries her tears with Kleenex.  KAY
	nostalgically hums "The Bells of Saint Mary's," as they walk
	arm in arm.

				KAY
		Would you like me better if I were
		a nun?

				MICHAEL
		No.

				KAY
		Would you like me better if I were
		Ingrid Bergman?

	They have passed a little enclosed newsstand.  KAY sees
	something that terrifies her.  She doesn't know what to do.
	MICHAEL still walks, thinking about her question.

				KAY
			  (a little voice)
		Michael?

				MICHAEL
		I'm thinking about it.

				KAY
		Michael...

				MICHAEL
		No, I would not like you better if
		you were Ingrid Bergman.

	She cannot answer him.  Rather she pulls him by the arm,
	back to the newsstand, and points.  His face goes grave.

	The headlines read: "VITO CORLEONE SHOT, CHIEFTAN GUNNED
	DOWN."

	MICHAEL is petrified; quickly he takes each edition, drops a
	dollar in the tray, and hungrily reads through them.  KAY
	knows to remain silent.

				MICHAEL
			  (desperately)
		They don't say if he's dead or alive.

	EXT DUSK: OLIVE OIL CO. (WINTER 1945)

	DON CORLEONE by the fruit stand; he is about to move to the
	car, when TWO MEN step from the corner.  Suddenly, the DON
	drops the bag of fruit and darts with startling quickness
	toward the parked car.

				DON CORLEONE
		Fredo, Fredo!

	The paper bag has hit the ground, and the fruit begins
	rolling along the sidewalk, as we HEAR gunshots.

	Five bullets catch the DON in the back; he arches in pain,
	and continues toward the car.

	The PROPRIETOR of the fruit stand rushes for cover, knocking
	over an entire case of fruit.

	The TWO GUNMEN move in quickly, anxious to finish him off.

	Their feet careful to avoid the rolling fruit.  There are
	more GUNSHOTS.

	FREDDIE is hysterical; he tries to get out of the car;
	having difficulty opening the door.  He rushes out, a gun
	trembling in his hand; his mouth open.  He actually drops
	the gun.

	The gun falls amid the rolling fruit.

	The GUNMEN are panicked.  They fire once more at the downed
	DON CORLEONE.  His leg and arm twitch where they are hit;
	and pools of blood are beginning to form.

	The GUNMEN are obviously in a state of panic and confusion;
	they disappear around the corner as quickly as they came.

	The PEOPLE about the avenue have all but disappeared:
	rather, we catch glimpses of them, poking their heads safely
	from around corners, inside doorways and arches, and from
	windows.  But the street itself is now empty.

	FREDDIE is in shock; he looks at his FATHER; now great
	puddles of blood have formed, and the DON is lifeless and
	face down in them.

	FREDDIE falls back on to the curb and sits there, saying
	something we cannot understand.  He begins to weep profusely.

	INT NIGHT: SUBWAY (WINTER 1945)

	LUCA BRASI riding alone on a subway car, late at night.  He
	gets off.

	He emerges at a subway terminal, proceeds out.

	EXT NITE: NIGHT CLUB STREET (WINTER 1945)

	LUCA walks down the late night street.  He approaches an
	elegant New York Nightclub, whose gaudy neon sign is still
	winking this late at night.  He waits and watches.  Then the
	sign goes out; and he proceeds into the club.

	INT NITE: NIGHTCLUB (WINTER 1945)

	The main floor of the Nightclub is very large, with endless
	glistening wooden floors.  Now, at this late time, the
	chairs have been stacked on the tables and a NEGRO JANITOR
	is waxing them.  A single HAT-CHECK GIRL is counting her
	receipts.  LUCA moves past the empty bandstand, and sits at
	the bar.  ANOTHER MAN, dark and very well-built, moves
	behind the bar.

				MAN
		Luca...I'm Bruno Tattaglia.

				LUCA
		I know.

	LUCA looks up; and out of the shadows emerges SOLLOZZO.

				SOLLOZZO
		Do you know who I am?

	LUCA Nods.

				SOLLOZZO
		You've been talking to the
		Tattaglias.  They thought we could
		do business.

	LUCA listens.

				SOLLOZZO
		I need somebody strong to protect
		my operation, physically.  I've
		heard you're not happy with your
		family, you might make a switch.

				LUCA
		If the money is good enough.

				SOLLOZZO
		On the first shipment, I can
		guarantee you fifty thousand dollars.

	LUCA looks at him; he had no idea the offer would be so good.

	SOLLOZZO extends his hand, but LUCA pretends not to see it,
	rather, he busies himself putting a cigarette in his mouth.
	BRUNO TATTAGLIA, behind the bar, makes a cigarette lighter
	magically appear, and holds it to LUCA's cigarette.  Then,
	he does an odd thing; he drops the lighter on the bar, and
	puts his hand lightly on LUCA's, almost patting it.

	INT NITE: SONNY'S LIVING ROOM (WINTER 1945)

	The telephone in SONNY's house is ringing.  He approaches
	it, obviously fresh from a nap.

				SONNY
		Yeah.

				VOICE (O.S.)
		Do you recognize my voice?

				SONNY
		I think so.  Detective squad?

				VOICE (O.S.)
		Right.  Don't say my name, just
		listen.  Somebody shot your father
		outside his place fifteen minutes
		ago.

				SONNY
		Is he alive?

				VOICE (O.S.)
		I think so, but I can't get close
		enough.  There's a lot of blood.
		I'll try to find out more.

				SONNY
		Find out anything you can...you got
		a Grand coming.
			  (click)


	SONNY cradles the phone.  An incredible rage builds up in
	him, his face actually turning red.  He would like to rip
	the phone to pieces in his bare hands.  Then he controls it.
	Quickly, he dials another number.

				SONNY
		Theresa, let me talk to Tom.  Not
		yet?  Have him call me as soon as
		he gets home.

	He hangs up.

				SANDRA (O.S.)
		Sonny?  Sonny, who is it?
			  (she enters the room)
		What is it?

				SONNY
			  (calmly)
		They shot the old man.

				SANDRA
		Oh God...

				SONNY
		Honey...don't worry.  Nothing else
		is going to happen.

	There is a POUNDING on the door.  A BABY starts crying.

				SANDRA
			  (really frightened)
		SONNY?

	SONNY reaches into a cabinet drawer, takes out a gun, and
	moves quickly.  He opens the front door quickly.  It is
	CLEMENZA.  He enters, SONNY closes the door.  SANDRA goes to
	look after the baby.

				CLEMENZA
			  (excited)
		You heard about your father?

				SONNY
		Yeah.

				CLEMENZA
		The word is out in the streets that
		he's dead.

				SONNY
		Where the hell was Paulie, why
		wasn't he with the Don?

				CLEMENZA
		Paulie's been a little sick all
		winter...he was home.

				SONNY
		How many times did he stay home the
		last couple of months?

				CLEMENZA
		Maybe three, four times.  I always
		asked Freddie if he wanted another
		bodyguard, but he said no.  Things
		have been so smooth the last ten
		years...

				SONNY
		Go get Paulie, I don't care how
		sick he is.  Pick him up yourself,
		and bring him to my father's house.

				CLEMENZA
		That's all?  Don't you want me to
		send some people over here?

				SONNY
		No, just you and Paulie.

	CLEMENZA leaves; SONNY moves to SANDRA, who sits on the
	couch weeping quietly, comforting her BABY.

				SONNY
		A couple of our people will come to
		stay here.  Do whatever they say;
		I'm going over to the main house.
		If you want me, use Pop's special
		phone.

	The telephone rings again.  SONNY answers it.

				SONNY
		Hello.

				SOLLOZZO (O.S.)
		Santino Corleone?

	SANDRA moves behind him, anxious to know who it is.  SONNY
	indicates that she be quiet.

				SONNY
		Yeah.

				SOLLOZZO (O.S.)
		We have Tom Hagen.  In about three
		hours he'll be released with our
		proposition.  Don't do anything
		until you've heard what he has to
		say.  You can only cause a lot of
		trouble.  What's done is done.
			  (a pause)
		Don't lose that famous temper of
		yours.

				SONNY
			  (quietly)
		I'll wait.

	EXT NITE: MALL (WINTER 1945)

	FULL VIEW OF THE CORLEONE MALL.  It is night, but the
	courtyard is bathed with white light from floodlights on the
	tops of all the houses.  It is very cold.  We see the figure
	of SONNY cross the Mall, and let himself into the main house.

	INT NITE: DON'S KITCHEN (WINTER 1945)

	SONNY walks into the empty, darkened house.  Then he calls
	out.

				SONNY
		Ma?  Ma, where are you.

	The kitchen door swings open.  He moves quickly and takes
	her by the arm.  He is deliberately calm.

				SONNY
		Ma, I just got a call.  Pop's
		hurt...I don't know how bad.

				MAMA
			  (quietly)
		Santino?  Have they killed him?

				SONNY
			  (almost in tears)
		We don't know yet, Ma.

				MAMA
		I'll get dressed.  In case we can
		see him...

	She moves out of the kitchen, and continues upstairs.  SONNY
	turns the gas from the pan of peppers she was frying.  He
	takes some bread without thinking, and dips it in the oil,
	and sloppily eats some of the peppers, as he moves into his
	father's office.

	INT NITE: DON'S OFFICE (WINTER 1945)

	He switches the lights on in the DON's office.  The massive
	desk dominates the room.  SONNY moves quickly to the
	telephone, pulling a small chair to the side of the desk,
	and dials a number.

				SONNY
		Tessio...This is Santino Corleone.
		I want fifty reliable men out here.

				TESSIO (O.S.)
		I heard, Sonny...but what about
		Clemenza's regime?

				SONNY
		I don't want to use Clemenza's
		people right now.  Understood?

	He hangs up.  He moves quickly to a wall safe; operates the
	dial, and removes a small notebook.  He takes it back to the
	desk, and runs over the list of numbers with his forefinger.
	We follow the names, until the finger stops at one: LUCA
	BRASI.  SONNY dials the number.  There is no answer.

				SONNY
		Luca.

	INT NITE: BUILDING (WINTER 1945)

	The interior of an abandoned building.  SEVERAL MEN in suits
	and ties sit around in the booths.

	HAGEN sits in one: SOLLOZZO sits across from him.

				SOLLOZZO
		I know you're not in the muscle end
		of the family--so I don't want you
		to be afraid.  I want you to help
		the Corleones and I want you to
		help me.

	HAGEN's hands are trembling as he tries to put a cigarette
	in his mouth.  ONE of the BUTTON MEN brings a bottle of rye
	to the table, and pours a little into a delicate, flowered
	china cup.  HAGEN sips gratefully.

				SOLLOZZO
		Your boss is dead...

	HAGEN is overwhelmed: actual tears spring to his eyes.
	SOLLOZZO pauses respectfully.

				SOLLOZZO
			  (pushing the bottle)
		Have some more.  We got him outside
		his office, just before I picked
		you up.  You have to make the peace
		between me and Santino.

	HAGEN still is focused on the grief of losing the old man.

				SOLLOZZO
		Sonny was hot for my deal, right?
		You know it's the smart thing to
		do, too.  I want you to talk Sonny
		into it.

				HAGEN
			  (pulling himself together)
		Sonny will come after you with
		everything he's got.

	SOLLOZZO rises, impatiently.

				SOLLOZZO
		That's going to be his first
		reaction.  You have to talk some
		sense into him.  The Tattaglia
		family stands behind me with all
		their people.  The other New York
		Families will go along with anything
		that prevents a full scale war.

	He leans close to HAGEN.

				SOLLOZZO
		The Don was slipping; in the old
		days I could never have gotten to
		him.  Now he's dead, nothing can
		bring him back.  Talk to Sonny,
		talk to the Caporegimes, Clemenza
		and Tessio...it's good business.

				HAGEN
		Even Sonny won't be able to call
		off Luca Brasi.

				SOLLOZZO
		I'll worry about Luca.  You take
		care of Sonny and the other two kids.

				HAGEN
		I'll try...It's what the Don would
		want us to do.

				SOLLOZZO
			  (lifting his hands in
			  an expression of harmlessness)
		Good...then you can go...
			  (he escorts him to
			  the door)
		I don't like violence.  I'm a
		businessman, and blood is a big
		expense.

	He opens the door; they step out together.

	EXT NITE: BUILDING

	HAGEN, SOLLOZZO exit.

	But a car pulls up, and ONE of SOLLOZZO'S MEN rushes out.
	He indicates with some urgency that he wants to talk to
	SOLLOZZO in private.

	Then SOLLOZZO moves with a grave expression.  He opens the
	door, indicating that HAGEN should be led back in.

				SOLLOZZO
		The old man is still alive.  Five
		bullets in his Sicilian hide and
		he's still alive.
			  (he gives a fatalistic
			  shrug)
		Bad luck for me, bad luck for you.

	EXT NITE: MALL (WINTER 1945)

	MICHAEL driving during the night.  There is a little fog in
	the air, and moisture has formed on the windshield, making
	it difficult to see well.  The wipers move across the view,
	as the gate of the Corleone Mall appears before us, still
	decorated for Christmas.  The courtyard is bathed with white
	floodlight, giving this place a cold and isolated look.  The
	narrow entrance mouth of the Mall is sealed off with a link
	chain.  There are strange cars parked along the curving
	cement walk.  SEVERAL MEN are congregated about the gate and
	chain; ONE of them approaches MICHAEL's car.

				MAN
		Who're you?

	ANOTHER peeks his ugly face almost right up to MICHAEL, and
	then turns.

				MAN 2
		It's the Don's kid; take the car,
		I'll bring him inside.

	The FIRST MAN opens the car door, and MICHAEL steps out.

	INT NITE: HALL (WINTER 1945)

	The Hallway of the main house is filled with MEN MICHAEL
	doesn't recognize.  They pay little attention to him.  Most
	of them are waiting; sitting uncomfortably; no one is talking.

	INT NITE: DON'S LIVING ROOM (WINTER 1945)

	MICHAEL moves into the living room; there is a Christmas
	tree, and countless greeting cards taped to the walls.

	THERESA HAGEN is sitting stiffly on the sofa, smoking a
	cigarette; on the coffee table in front of her is a water
	glass half filled with whiskey.  On the other side of the
	sofa sits CLEMENZA; his face is impassive, but he is
	sweating, and the cigar in his hand glistens slickly black
	with his saliva.  PAULIE GATTO sits tensely and alone on the
	other side of the room.  CLEMENZA sees MICHAEL, looks up at
	him.

				CLEMENZA
		Your mother's at the hospital with
		the old man: He's gonna pull through.

	MICHAEL nods his relief.

				MICHAEL
		Thanks.

	He moves to THERESA.

				MICHAEL
			  (gently)
		You heard from Tom yet?

	Without looking up, she clings to him for a moment, and
	trembles.  Occasionally, STRANGE MEN will cross through the
	room; everyone speaks in a whisper.

				MICHAEL
			  (taking her hand)
		C'mon.

	He leads her into his father's office without knocking.

	INT NITE: DON'S OFFICE (WINTER 1945)

	SONNY and TESSIO are huddled around a yellow pad.  They look
	up, startled.

				SONNY
		Don't worry, Theresa; they just
		want to give Tom the proposition,
		then they're going to turn him loose.

	He reassuringly hugs THERESA, and then to MICHAEL's surprise,
	he kisses him on the cheek.

				SONNY
		I was worried when we couldn't get
		in touch with you in that hick town.

				MICHAEL
		How's Mom?

				SONNY
		Good.  She's been through it before.
		Me too.  You were too young to know
		about it.  You better wait outside;
		there're some things you shouldn't
		hear.

				MICHAEL
		I can help you out...

				SONNY
		Oh no you can't, the old man'd be
		sore as hell if I let you get mixed
		up in this.

				MICHAEL
		Jesus Christ, he's my father, Sonny.

				SONNY
		Theresa.

	She understands, and leaves them alone.

				SONNY
		All right, Mikey...who do we have
		to hit, Clemenza or Paulie?

				MICHAEL
		What?

				SONNY
		One of them fingered the old man.

	MICHAEL didn't realize that the men waiting outside were on
	trial for their lives.

				MICHAEL
		Clemenza?  No, I don't believe it.

				SONNY
		You're right, kid, Clemenza is okay.
		It was Paulie.

				MICHAEL
		How can you be sure?

				SONNY
		On the three days Paulie was sick
		this month, he got calls from a
		payphone across from the old man's
		building.  We got people in the
		phone company.
			  (he shrugs)
		Thank God it was Paulie...we'll
		need Clemenza bad.

	MICHAEL is just realizing the gravity and extent of the
	situation.

				MICHAEL
		Is it going to be all-out war, like
		last time?

				SONNY
		Until the old man tells me different.

				MICHAEL
		Then wait, Sonny.  Talk to Pop.

				SONNY
		Sollozzo is a dead man, I don't
		care what it costs.  I don't care
		if we have to fight all the five
		families in New York.  The Tattaglia
		family's going to eat dirt.  I
		don't care if we all go down
		together.

				MICHAEL
			  (softly)
		That's not how Pop would have
		played it.

				SONNY
		I know I'm not the man he was.  But
		I'll tell you this and he'll tell
		you too.  When it comes to real
		action, I can operate as good as
		anybody short range.

				MICHAEL
			  (calmly)
		All right, Sonny.  All right.

				SONNY
		Christ, if I could only contact Luca.

				MICHAEL
		Is it like they say?  Is he that
		good?

	Outside, we HEAR THERESA cry out, almost a scream of relief.
	Then open the door and rush out.

	Everyone is standing: in the doorway, TOM HAGEN is wrapped
	in a tight embrace with his WIFE.

				HAGEN
		If I plead before the Supreme
		Court, I'll never do better than I
		did tonight with that Turk.

	EXT NITE: MALL, FEATURING DON'S HOUSE (WINTER 1945)

	The windows of the main house are dark except for the DON's
	study.  It stands out against the cold, dark night.

	INT NITE: DON'S LIVING ROOM (WINTER 1945)

	The living room is empty, save for PAULIE GATTO sitting on
	the edge of the sofa.  The clock reads: 4:00 a.m.

	INT NITE: DON'S OFFICE (WINTER 1945)

	SONNY, MICHAEL, HAGEN, CLEMENZA and TESSIO; all exhausted,
	in shirtsleeves, about to fall asleep.  It is four in the
	morning; there is evidence of many cups of coffee and many
	snacks.  They can barely talk anymore.

				HAGEN
		Is the hospital covered?

				SONNY
		The cops have it locked in and I
		got my people there visiting Pop
		all the time.  What about the hit
		list.

	HAGEN widens his sleepy eyes, and looks at the yellow pad.

				HAGEN
		Too much, too far, too personal.
		The Don would consider this all
		purely a business dispute: Get rid
		of Sollozzo, and everything falls
		in line.  YOU don't have to go
		after the Tattaglias.

	CLEMENZA nods.

				HAGEN
		What about Luca?  Sollozzo didn't
		seem worried about Luca.  That
		worries me.

				SONNY
		If Luca sold out we're in real
		trouble.

				HAGEN
		Has anyone been able to get in
		touch with him?

				SONNY
		No, and I've been calling all night.
		Maybe he's shacked up.

				HAGEN
		Luca never sleeps over with a broad.
		He always goes home when he's
		through.  Mike, keep ringing Luca's
		number.

	MICHAEL, very tired, picks up the phone, and dials the
	number once again.  He can hear the phone ringing on the
	other end but no one answers.  Then hangs up.

				HAGEN
		Keep trying every fifteen minutes.
			  (exhausted)


				SONNY
		Tom, you're the Consigliere, what
		do we do if the old man dies?

				HAGEN
		Without your father's political
		contacts and personal influence,
		the Corleone family loses half its
		strength.  Without your father, the
		other New York families might wind
		up supporting Sollozzo, and the
		Tattaglias just to make sure there
		isn't a long destructive war.  The
		old days are over, this is 1946;
		nobody wants bloodshed anymore.  If
		your father dies...make the deal,
		Sonny.

				SONNY
			  (angry)
		That's easy to say; it's not your
		father.

				HAGEN
			  (quietly)
		I was as good a son to him as you
		or Mike.

				SONNY
		Oh Christ Tom, I didn't mean it
		that way.

				HAGEN
		We're all tired...

				SONNY
		OK, we sit tight until the old man
		can give us the lead.  But Tom, I
		want you to stay inside the Mall.
		You too, Mike, no chances.  Tessio,
		you hold your people in reserve,
		but have them nosing around the
		city.  The hospital is yours; I
		want it tight, fool-proof, 24 hours
		a day.

	There is a timid knock on the door.

				SONNY
		What is it?

	PAULIE GATTO looks in.

				CLEMENZA
		I tol' you to stay put, Paulie...

				PAULIE
		The guy at the gate's outside...says
		there's a package...

				SONNY
		Tessio, see what it is.

	TESSIO gets up, leaves.

				PAULIE
		You want me to hang around?

				SONNY
		Yeah.  Hang around.

				PAULIE
		Outside?

				CLEMENZA
		Outside.

				PAULIE
		Sure.

	He closes the door.

				SONNY
		Clemenza.  You take care of Paulie.
		I don't ever want to see him again.
		Understood?

				CLEMENZA
		Understood.

				SONNY
		Okay, now you can move your men
		into the Mall, replace Tessio's
		people.  Mike, tomorrow you take a
		couple of Clemenza's people and go
		to Luca's apartment and wait for
		him to show.  That crazy bastard
		might be going after Sollozzo right
		now if he's heard the news.

				HAGEN
		Maybe Mike shouldn't get mixed up
		in this so directly.  You know the
		old man doesn't want that.

				SONNY
		OK forget it, just stay on the phone.

	MICHAEL is embarrassed to be so protected.  He dials Luca
	Brasi's number once again.  The ring repeats, but no one
	answers.

	TESSIO comes back, carrying Luca Brasi's bullet-proof vest
	in his hand.  He unwraps it; there is a large fish wrapped
	inside.

				CLEMENZA
		A Sicilian message: Luca Brasi
		sleeps with the fishes.

	INT. NITE: NIGHTCLUB (WINTER 1945)

	LUCA sits at the Bar of the Tattaglia Nightclub, as we
	remember him.  BRUNO TATTAGLIA had just patted his hand.
	LUCA looks up at him.

	Then SOLLOZZO pats the other hand, almost affectionately.
	LUCA is just about to twist his hands away, when they both
	clamp down as hard as they can.  Suddenly, a garrote is
	thrown around his neck, and pulled violently tight.  His
	face begins to turn to purple blotches, and then totally
	purple, right before our eyes; his tongue hangs out, in a
	far more extreme way than a normal tongue could.  His eyes
	bulge.

	ONE of the MEN looks down at him in disgust as LUCA's
	strength leaves him.

				BRUNO
			  (making an ugly face)
		Oh Christ...all over the floor.

	SOLLOZZO lets LUCA's hand go with a victorious smile on his
	face.

	LUCA falls to the floor.

				SOLLOZZO
		The Godfather is next.

	----------------------------------------FADE OUT--------

	FADE IN:

	EXT DAY: CLEMENZA'S HOUSE (WINTER 1945)

	Morning in a simple Brooklyn suburb.  There are rows of
	pleasant houses; driveway after driveway, down the block.  A
	dark, somber young man of thirty-one or two walks with a
	noticeable limp down the sidewalk, and rings the bell.  This
	is ROCCO LAMPONE.  The woman of the house, MRS. CLEMENZA,
	talks to him through the screen door, and then points to the
	side of the house.  ROCCO moves to the garage, which is
	specially heated, and in which CLEMENZA is busy at work
	washing a shiny brand new Lincoln.  LAMPONE admires the car.

				LAMPONE
		Nice.

				CLEMENZA
		Crazy Detroit delivered it with a
		wooden bumper.  They're going to
		send me the chrome bumpers in a
		couple months.  I waited two years
		for this car to come with wooden
		bumpers!

	He scrubs and polishes with great affection.

				CLEMENZA
		Today you make your bones on Paulie.
		You understand everything?

				LAMPONE
		Sure.

	As he scrubs around the glove compartment, he opens it,
	unwraps a gun and gives it to LAMPONE.

				CLEMENZA
		.22 soft-nosed load.  Accurate up
		to five feet.

	LAMPONE expertly puts the gun away.  GATTO's car pulls into
	the driveway, and he sounds the horn.

	The two men walk to the car.  GATTO is driving, a bit
	nervous, like he doesn't know what is up.  LAMPONE gets in
	the rear seat; CLEMENZA in the front, making a grunt of
	recognition.  He looks at his wristwatch, as though wanting
	to chide PAULIE for being late.  PAULIE flinches a little
	when he sees LAMPONE will ride behind him; he half turns:

				PAULIE
		Rocco, sit on the other side.  A
		big guy like you blocks my rearview
		mirror.

	CLEMENZA turns sourly to PAULIE.

				CLEMENZA
		Goddamn Sonny.  He's running scared.
		He's already thinking of going to
		the mattresses.  We have to find a
		place on the West Side.  Paulie,
		you know a good location?

	PAULIE relaxes a bit; he thinks he's off any possible hook
	he was on.  Also there's the money he can make by selling
	Sollozzo any secret location.

				PAULIE
		I'll think about it.

				CLEMENZA
			  (grunting)
		Drive while you thinking; I wanna
		get to the City this month!

	The car pulls out.

	EXT DAY: PAULIE'S CAR - ON ROAD (WINTER 1945)

	Inside PAULIE drives; and CLEMENZA sits in a grump.  OUR
	VIEW does not show LAMPONE in the rear seat.

	EXT DAY: PAULIE'S CAR AT TUNNEL (WINTER 1945)

	The Car crosses to the Midtown Tunnel in the late Winter
	light.

	INT DAY: PAULIE'S CAR IN TUNNEL (WINTER 1945)

	Inside the tunnel; GATTO doesn't like not seeing LAMPONE.
	He tries to adjust his rearview mirror to catch a glimpse of
	him.

				CLEMENZA
		Pay attention!

	EXT DAY: PAULIE'S CAR AT MATTRESS (WINTER 1945)

	The car is parked in the City.  PAULIE comes down from an
	available apartment and gets back into the car.

				PAULIE
		Good for ten men...

				CLEMENZA
		OK, go to Arthur Avenue; I'm
		suppose to call when I found
		somethin'.

	The car pulls off.

	EXT DAY: RESTAURANT (WINTER 1945)

	New part of the city; the car pulls up in a parking lot.
	CLEMENZA get outs, glances at LAMPONE, then to PAULIE.

				CLEMENZA
		You wait; I'll call.

	He walks, tucking his shirt into his pants, around the
	corner and enters the Luna Restaurant.

	INT DAY: RESTAURANT (WINTER 1945)

	CLEMENZA enters the little restaurant, sits down at a table.
	The WAITERS know him; immediately put a bottle of wine, some
	bread--and then a plate of veal on his table.  He eats.

	EXT DAY: RESTAURANT (WINTER 1945)

	CLEMENZA exits the restaurant, belches, adjusts his pants;
	he is well fed.

	We move with him around the corner, not knowing what to
	expect has happened to Paulie.

	There is the car; PAULIE is still sitting behind the wheel,
	LAMPONE in the rear seat.  CLEMENZA steps in.

				CLEMENZA
		He talked my ear off.  Want us to
		go back to Long Beach; have another
		job for us.  Rocco, you live in the
		City, can we drop you off?

				LAMPONE (O.S.)
		Ah, I left my car at your place.

				CLEMENZA
		OK, then you gotta come back.

	The car pulls out.  By now, PAULIE is completely relaxed and
	secure.

				PAULIE
		You think we'll go for that last
		place?

				CLEMENZA
		Maybe, or you gotta know now.

				PAULIE
		Holy cow, I don't gotta know nothing.

	EXT DAY: PAULIE'S CAR ON CAUSEWAY (WINTER 1945)

	The car moves along the ready beach area of the causeway.
	Inside, CLEMENZA turns to PAULIE.

				CLEMENZA
		Paulie, pull over.  I gotta take a
		leak.

	The car pulls off the Causeway, into the reeds.  CLEMENZA
	steps out of the car, OUR VIEW MOVING with him.

	He turns his back three quarters from us (we can no longer
	see the car), unzips, and we hear the sound of urine hitting
	the ground.  We wait on this for a moment; and then there
	are two GUNSHOTS.  CLEMENZA finishes his leak, zips up and
	turns, moving back to the car.

	PAULIE is dead, bleeding from the mouth; the windows behind
	him are shattered.

				CLEMENZA
		Leave the gun.

	LAMPONE gets out, the two men walk through the reeds a few
	feet where there is another car.  They get in, and drive off.

	---------------------------------------FADE OUT---------

	EXT DAY: MALL (WINTER 1945)

	HIGH ANGLE OF THE MALL.  It is late afternoon.  Many strange
	cars are parked on the nearby streets.  We can see the group
	of BUTTON MEN, stationed here and there, obviously sentries
	with concealed weapons.

	MICHAEL walks along in the rear yard.

	He is bundled in a warm marine coat.  He looks at the
	strange men, regarding them with an uncertain awe.  They
	look back at him, at first suspiciously and then with the
	respect of his position.  He is like an exile Prince.  He
	wanders past them, and hesitates and looks at the yard.

	A rusted set of garden swings; and other home playground
	equipment.  The basketball ring now half coming off.  This
	is where he was a child.  Then a shout.

				CLEMENZA (O.S.)
		Mike.  Hey Mikey; telephone.

	CLEMENZA had shouted from the kitchen window.  MICHAEL
	hurries into the house.

	INT DAY: DON'S KITCHEN (WINTER 1945)

	CLEMENZA is in the kitchen, cooking over an enormous pot.
	He points to the kitchen wall phone which is hanging off the
	hook.

				CLEMENZA
		Some dame.

	MICHAEL picks it up.

				MICHAEL
		Hello.  Kay?

				KAY (O.S.)
		How is your father?

				MICHAEL
		He'll be OK.

				KAY (O.S.)
			  (pause)
		I love you.

	He glances at the THUGS in the kitchen.  Tries to shield the
	phone.

				KAY (O.S.)
		I LOVE YOU.

				MICHAEL
		Yeah Kay, I'm here.

				KAY (O.S.)
		Can you say it?

				MICHAEL
		Huh?

				KAY (O.S.)
		Tell me you love me.

	MICHAEL glances at the HOODS at the kitchen table.  He curls
	up in a corner, and in a quarter voice:

				MICHAEL
		I can't...

				KAY (O.S.)
		Please say it.

				MICHAEL
		Look.  I'll see you tonight, OK?

				KAY (O.S.)
		OK.
			  (click)


	CLEMENZA is getting ready to build a tomato sauce for all
	the button men stationed around the house.

				CLEMENZA
		How come you don't tell that nice
		girl you love her...here, learn
		something... you may have to feed
		fifty guys some day.  You start
		with olive oil...fry some garlic,
		see.  And then fry some sausage...or meat
		balls if you like...then you throw
		in the tomatoes, the tomato
		paste...some basil; and a little
		red wine...that's my trick.

	SONNY peeks into the kitchen; sees CLEMENZA.

				SONNY
		You take care of Paulie?

				CLEMENZA
		You won't see Paulie anymore.  He's
		sick for good this winter.

	MICHAEL starts to leave.

				SONNY
		Where are you going?

				MICHAEL
		To the city.

				SONNY
			  (to Clemenza; dipping
			  bread into the sauce)
		Send some bodyguards.

				MICHAEL
		I don't need them, Sonny.  I'm just
		going to see Pop in the hospital.
		Also, I got other things.

				CLEMENZA
		Sollozzo knows Mike's a civilian.

				SONNY
		OK, but be careful.

	EXT NITE: CAR

	MICHAEL sits in the rear seat, calmly, as he is being driven
	into the city.  THREE BUTTONMEN are crowded into the front
	seat.

	INT NITE: HOTEL LOBBY

	MICHAEL crosses the lobby, past lines of servicemen trying
	to book rooms.

	INT NITE: HOTEL

	MICHAEL and KAY eating a quiet dinner at the hotel.  He is
	preoccupied, she's concerned.

				MICHAEL
		Visiting hour ends at eight thirty.
		I'll just sit with him; I want to
		show respect.

				KAY
		Can I go to the hospital with you?

				MICHAEL
		I don't think so.  You don't want
		to end up on page 3 of the Daily
		News.

				KAY
		My parents don't read the Daily
		News.  All right, if you think I
		shouldn't.  I can't believe the
		things the papers are printing.
		I'm sure most of it's not true.

				MICHAEL
		I don't think so either.
			  (silence)
		I better go.

				KAY
		When will I see you again?

				MICHAEL
		I want you to go back to New
		Hampshire...think things over.

	He leans over her; kisses her.

				KAY
		When will I see you again?

				MICHAEL
		Goodbye.

	Quietly, he moves out the door.

	KAY lies on the bed a while, and then, to herself:

				KAY
		Goodbye.

	EXT NITE: DON'S HOSPITAL (WINTER 1945)

	A taxi pulls up in front of a hospital, marked clearly with
	a neon sign "HOSPITAL--EMERGENCY."  MICHAEL steps out, pays
	the fare...and then stops dead in his tracks.

	MICHAEL looks.

	He sees the hospital in the night; but it is deserted.  He
	is the only one on the street.  There are gay, twinkling
	Christmas decorations all over the building.  He walks,
	slowly at first, and then ever so quickly, up the steps.  He
	hesitates, looks around.  This area is empty.  He checks the
	address on a scrap of paper.  It is correct.  He tries the
	door, it is empty.

	He walks in.

	INT NITE: HOSPITAL LOBBY (WINTER 1945)

	MICHAEL stands in the center of an absolutely empty hospital
	lobby.  He looks to the right; there is a long, empty
	corridor.  To the left: the same.

	HIGH FULL ANGLE, as MICHAEL walks through the desolated
	building lit by eerie green neon lighting.  All we hear are
	his sole footsteps.

	He walks up to a desk marked "INFORMATION".  No one is there.
	He moves quickly to a door marked "OFFICE"; swings into it;
	no one is there.  He looks onto the desk:  There is half a
	sandwich, and a half-filled bottle of coke.

				MICHAEL
		Hello?  Hello?

	Now he knows something is happening, he moves quickly,
	alertly.  MICHAEL walking down the hospital corridors; all
	alone.  The floors have just been mopped.  They are still wet.

	INT NITE: HOSPITAL STAIRS

	Now he turns onto a staircase; ever quickening; up several
	flights.

	INT NITE: 4TH FLOOR CORRIDOR

	He steps out onto the fourth floor.  He looks.  There are
	merely empty corridors.  He takes out his scrap of paper;
	checks it.  "Room 4A."  Now he hurries, trying to follow the
	code of hospital rooms; following the right arrows, quicker
	and quicker they flash by him.  Now he stops, looks up "4A--
	Corleone".

	There is a special card table set up there with some
	magazines...and some smoking cigarettes still in the
	ashtray--but no detectives, no police, no bodyguards.

	INT NITE: DON'S ROOM 4A

	Slowly he pushes the door open, almost afraid at what he
	will find.  He looks.  Lit by the moonlight through the
	window, he can see a FIGURE in the hospital bed alone in the
	room, and under a transparent oxygen tent.  All that can be
	heard is the steady though strained breathing.  Slowly
	MICHAEL walks up to it, and is relieved to see his FATHER,
	securely asleep.  Tubes hang from a steel gallows beside the
	bed, and run to his nose and mouth.

				VOICE (O.S.)
		What are you doing here?

	This startles MICHAEL; who almost jumps around.  It is a
	NURSE lit from the light behind her in the hallway.

				NURSE
		You're not supposed to be here now.

	MICHAEL calms himself, and moves to her.

				MICHAEL
		I'm Michael Corleone--this is my
		father.  What happened to the
		detectives who were guarding him?

				NURSE
		Oh your father just had too many
		visitors.  It interfered with the
		hospital service.  The police came
		and made them all leave just ten
		minutes ago.
			  (comfortingly)
		But don't worry.  I look in on him.

				MICHAEL
		You just stand here one minute...

	Quickly he moves to the telephone, dials a number.

				MICHAEL
		Sonny...Sonny--Jesus Christ, I'm
		down at the hospital.  I came down
		late.  There's no one here.  None
		of Tessio's people--no detectives,
		no one.  The old man is completely
		unprotected.

				SONNY (O.S.)
		All right, get him in a different
		room; lock the door from the inside.
		I'll have some men there inside of
		fifteen minutes.  Sit tight, and
		don't panic.

				MICHAEL
			  (furiously, but kept inside)
		I won't panic.

	He hangs up; returns to the NURSE...

				NURSE
		You cannot stay here...I'm sorry.

				MICHAEL
			  (coldly)
		You and I are going to move my
		father right now...to another room
		on another floor...Can you
		disconnect those tubes so we can
		wheel the bed out?

				NURSE
		Absolutely not!  We have to get
		permission from the Doctor.

				MICHAEL
		You've read about my father in the
		papers.  You've seen that no one's
		here to guard him.  Now I've just
		gotten word that men are coming to
		this hospital to kill him.  Believe
		me and help me.

				NURSE
			  (frightened)
		We don't have to disconnect them,
		we can wheel the stand with the bed.

	She does so...and they perform the very difficult task of
	moving the bed and the apparatus, out of the room.

	INT NITE: 4TH FLOOR HOSPITAL (WINTER 1945)

	They roll the bed, the stand, and all the tubes silently
	down the corridor.  We hear FOOTSTEPS coming up the stairs.
	MICHAEL hears them, stops.

				MICHAEL
		Hurry, into there.

	They push it into the first available room.  MICHAEL peeks
	out from the door.  The footsteps are louder; then they
	emerge.  It is ENZO, NAZORINE's helper, carrying a bouquet
	of flowers.

				MICHAEL
			  (stepping out)
		Who is it?

				ENZO
		Michael...do you remember me, Enzo,
		the baker's helper to Nazorine, now
		his son-in-law.

				MICHAEL
		Enzo, get out of here.  There's
		going to be trouble.

	A look of fear sweeps through ENZO's face.

				ENZO
		If there...will be trouble...I stay
		with you, to help.  I owe it to the
		Godfather.

	MICHAEL thinks, realizes he needs all the help he can get.

				MICHAEL
		Go outside; stand in front...I'll
		be out in a minute.

	INT NITE: DON'S SECOND HOSPITAL ROOM (WINTER 1945)

	They part.  MICHAEL moves into the hospital room where they
	put his FATHER.

				NURSE
			  (frightened)
		He's awake.

	MICHAEL looks at the OLD MAN, his eyes are open, though he
	cannot speak.  MICHAEL touches his face tenderly.

				MICHAEL
		Pop...Pop, it's me Michael.  Shhhh,
		don't try to speak.  There are men
		who are coming to try to kill you.
		But I'm with you...I'm with you
		now...

	The OLD MAN tries to speak...but cannot.  MICHAEL tenderly
	puts his finger to his FATHER's lips.

	EXT NITE: DON'S HOSPITAL STREET (WINTER 1945)

	Outside the hospital is empty save for a nervous ENZO,
	pacing back and forth brandishly the flowers as his only
	weapon.  MICHAEL exits the hospital and moves to him.  They
	both stand under a lamppost in the cold December night.
	They are both frightened; MICHAEL gives ENZO a cigarette,
	lights it.  ENZO's hands are trembling, MICHAEL's are not.

				MICHAEL
		Get rid of those and look like
		you've got a gun in your pocket.

	The windows of the hospital twinkle with Christmas
	decorations.

				MICHAEL
		Listen...

	We HEAR the sound of a single automobile coming.  MICHAEL
	and ENZO look with fear in their eyes.  Then MICHAEL takes
	the bouquet of flowers and stuffs them under his jacket.
	They stand, hands in their pockets.

	A long low black car turns the corner and cruises by them.
	MICHAEL's and ENZO's faces are tough, impassive.  The car
	seems as though it will stop; and then quickly accelerates.
	MICHAEL and ENZO are relieved.  MICHAEL looks down; the
	BAKER's hands are shaking.  He looks at his own, and they
	are not.

	Another moment goes by and we can hear the distant sound of
	police sirens.  They are clearly coming toward the hospital,
	getting louder and louder.  MICHAEL heaves a sigh of relief.

	In a second, a patrol car makes a screaming turn in front of
	the hospital; then two more squad cars follow with uniformed
	POLICE and DETECTIVES.  He smiles his relief and starts
	toward them.  TWO huge, burly POLICEMEN suddenly grab his
	arms while ANOTHER frisks him.  A massive POLICE CAPTAIN,
	spattered with gold braid and scrambled eggs on his hat,
	with beefy red face and white hair seems furious.  This is
	McCLUSKEY.

				MCCLUSKEY
		I thought I got all you guinea
		hoods locked up.  Who the hell are
		you and what are you doing here?

	ANOTHER COP standing nearby:

				COP
		He's clean, Captain.

	MICHAEL studies McCLUSKEY closely.

				MICHAEL
			  (quietly)
		What happened to the detectives who
		were supposed to be guarding my
		father?

				MCCLUSKEY
			  (furious)
		You punk-hood.  Who the hell are
		you to tell me my business.  I
		pulled them off.  I don't care how
		many Dago gangsters kill each other.
		I wouldn't lift a finger to keep
		your old man from getting knocked
		off.  Now get the hell out of here;
		get off this street you punk, and
		stay away from this hospital.

	MICHAEL stands quiet.

				MICHAEL
		I'll stay until you put guards
		around my father's room.

				MCCLUSKEY
		Phil, lock this punk up.

				A DETECTIVE
		The Kid's clean, Captain...He's a
		war hero, and he's never been mixed
		up in the rackets...

				MCCLUSKEY
			  (furious)
		Goddam it, I said lock him up.  Put
		the cuffs on him.

				MICHAEL
			  (deliberately, right
			  to McCLUSKEY's face,
			  as he's being handcuffed)
		How much is the Turk paying you to
		set my father up, Captain?

	Without any warning, McCLUSKEY leans back and hits MICHAEL
	squarely on the jaw with all his weight and strength.
	MICHAEL groans, and lifts his hand to his jaw.  He looks at
	McCLUSKEY; we are his VIEW and everything goes spinning, and
	he falls to the ground, just as we see HAGEN and CLEMENZA'S
	MEN arrive.

	---------------------------------------FADE OUT---------

	EXT DAY: MALL (WINTER 1945)

	HIGH ANGLE VIEW of THE CORLEONE MALL.  The gateway now has a
	long black car blocking it.  There are more BUTTON MEN
	stationed more formally; and some of them visibly carrying
	rifles; those of the houses close to the courtyard have MEN
	standing by open windows.  It is clear that the war is
	escalating.  A car pulls up and out get CLEMENZA, LAMPONE,
	MICHAEL and HAGEN.  MICHAEL's jaw is wired and bandaged.  He
	stops and looks up at the open window.  We can see MEN
	holding rifles.

				MICHAEL
		Christ, Sonny really means business.

	They continue walking.  TESSIO joins them.  The various
	BODYGUARDS make no acknowledgment.

				CLEMENZA
		How come all the new men?

				TESSIO
		We'll need them now.  After the
		hospital incident, Sonny got mad.
		We hit Bruno Tattaglia four o'clock
		this morning.

	INT DAY: DON'S HALLWAY

	They enter the house past the scores of new and strange faces.

	INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (WINTER 1945)

	SONNY is in the DON's office; he is excited and exuberant.

				SONNY
		I've got a hundred button men on
		the streets twenty-four hours a day.
		If Sollozzo shows one hair on his
		ass he's dead.

	He sees MICHAEL, and holds his bandaged face in his hand,
	kiddingly.

				SONNY
		Mikey, you look beautiful!

				MICHAEL
		Cut it out.

				SONNY
		The Turk wants to talk!  The nerve
		of that son of a bitch!  After he
		craps out last night he wants a meet.

				HAGEN
		Was there a definite proposal?

				SONNY
		Sure, he wants us to send Mike to
		meet him to hear his proposition.
		The promise is the deal will be so
		good we can't refuse.

				HAGEN
		What about that Tattaglias?  What
		will they do about Bruno?

				SONNY
		Part of the deal: Bruno cancels out
		what they did to my father.

				HAGEN
		We should hear what they have to say.

				SONNY
		No, no Consiglere.  Not this time.
		No more meetings, no more
		discussions, no more Sollozzo
		tricks.  Give them one message: I
		WANT SOLLOZZO.  If not, it's all
		out war.  We go to the mattresses
		and we put all the button men out
		on the street.

				HAGEN
		The other families won't sit still
		for all out war.

				SONNY
		Then THEY hand me Sollozzo.

				HAGEN
		Come ON Sonny, your father wouldn't
		want to hear this.  This is not a
		personal thing, this is Business.

				SONNY
		And when they shot me father...

				HAGEN
		Yes, even the shooting of your
		father was business, not personal...

				SONNY
		No no, no more advice on how to
		patch it up Tom.  You just help me
		win.  Understood?

	HAGEN bows his head; he is deeply concerned.

				HAGEN
		I found out about this Captain
		McCluskey who broke Mike's jaw.
		He's definitely on Sollozzo's
		payroll, and for big money.
		McCluskey's agreed to be the Turk's
		bodyguard.  What you have to
		understand is that while Sollozzo
		is guarded like this, he's
		invulnerable.  Nobody has ever
		gunned down a New York Police
		Captain.  Never.  It would be
		disastrous.  All the five families
		would come after you Sonny; the
		Corleone family would be outcasts;
		even the old man's political
		protection would run for cover.  So
		just...take that into consideration.

				SONNY
			  (still fuming)
		McCluskey can't stay with the Turk
		forever.  We'll wait.

				MICHAEL
		We can't wait.  No matter what
		Sollozzo say about a deal, he's
		figuring out how to kill Pop.  You
		have to get Sollozzo now.

				SONNY
		The kid's right.

				HAGEN
		What about McCluskey?

				MICHAEL
		Let's say now that we have to kill
		McCluskey.  We'll clear that up
		through our Newspaper contacts later.

				SONNY
		Go on Mike.

				MICHAEL
		They want me to go to the conference
		with Sollozzo.  Set up the meeting
		for two days from now.  Sonny, get
		our informers to find out where the
		meeting will be held.
		Insist it has to be a public place:
		a bar or restaurant at the height
		of the dinner hour.  So I'll feel
		safe.  They'll check me when I meet
		them so I won't be able to carry a
		weapon; but Clemenza, figure out a
		way to have one planted there for
		me.
			  (pause)
		Then I'll kill them both.

	Everyone in the room is astonished; they all look at MICHAEL.
	Silence.  SONNY suddenly breaks out in laughter.  He points
	a finger at MICHAEL, trying to speak.

				SONNY
		You?  You, the high-class college
		kid.  You never wanted to get mixed
		up in the family business.  Now you
		wanta gun down a police Captain and
		the Turk just because you got
		slapped in the face.  You're taking
		it personal, it's just business and
		he's taking it personal.

	Now CLEMENZA and TESSIO are also smiling; only HAGEN keeps
	his face serious.

				MICHAEL
			  (angrily, but cold)
		Sonny, it's all personal, and I
		learned it from him, the old man,
		the Godfather.  He took my joining
		the Marines personal.  I take
		Sollozzo trying to kill my father
		personal, and you know I'll kill
		them Sonny.

	MICHAEL radiates danger...SONNY stops laughing.

	INT DAY: CLEMENZA'S CELLAR (WINTER 1945)

	CLOSE on a revolver.

				CLEMENZA (O.S.)
		It's as cold as they come,
		impossible to trace.
			  (he turns it upside down)
		Don't worry about prints Mike, I
		put a special tape on the trigger
		and butt.  Here.
			  (he hands the gun to
			  another pair of hands)
		Whatsamatter?  Trigger too tight.
			  (it fires: very LOUD)
		I left it noisy, so it'll scare any
		pain-in-the-neck innocent bystander
		away.

	MICHAEL is alone with CLEMENZA in a cellar workshop.

				CLEMENZA
		Just let your hand drop to your
		side, and let the gun slip out.
		Everybody will still think you got
		it.  They'll be starin' at your
		face, see?  Then walk out of the
		place real fast, but don't run.
		Don't look anybody directly in the
		eye, but don't look away from them
		neither.  Hey, they'll be scared
		stiff o you, believe me.  Nobody's
		gonna bother with you.  Don't worry
		about nothing; you'd be surprised
		how good these things go.  O.K.,
		put your hat on, let's see how you
		look.  Helps with identification.

	They put the hat on; CLEMENZA adjusts it.

				CLEMENZA
		Mostly it gives witnesses an excuse
		to change their identification when
		we make them see the light.  Then
		you take a long vacation and we
		catch the hell.

				MICHAEL
		How bad will it be?

				CLEMENZA
		Probably all the other families
		will line up against us.  But, it's
		alright.  These things have to
		happen once every ten years or
		so...gets rid of the bad blood.
		You gotta stop 'em at the beginning.
		Like they shoulda stopped Hitler at
		Munich, they shoulda never let him
		get away with that, they were just
		asking for big trouble...

	INT DAY: DON'S HALL & LIVING ROOM (WINTER 1945)

	MICHAEL steps into the foyer of the main house.  A card
	table is set up with a man playing cards with three of the
	Corleone buttonmen.

	He continues into the living room.  It's a mess.  SONNY
	asleep on the sofa.  On the coffee table are the remains of
	a take-out Chinese food dinner, and a half-empty bottle of
	whisky.  The radio is playing.

				MICHAEL
		Why don't you stop living like a
		bum and get this place cleaned up.

				SONNY
		What are you, inspecting the
		barracks?
			  (SONNY sits up with
			  his head in his hands)
		You ready?  Did Clemenza tell you
		be sure to drop the gun right away?

				MICHAEL
		A million times.

				SONNY
		Sollozzo and McCluskey are going to
		pick you up in an hour and a half
		on Times Square, under the big
		Camels sign.

				HAGEN
		We don't let Mike go until we have
		the hostage, Sonny.

				CLEMENZA
		It's okay...the hostage is outside
		playing pinochle with three of my
		men.

	The phone rings in the DON's office.

				SONNY
		That could be a Tattaglia informer
		with the meeting place.

	INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (WINTER 1945)

	HAGEN has hurried into the Den to get the phone; the OTHERS
	move in.

	HAGEN's on the phone; he writes something down.

				SONNY
		One of Tattaglia's people?

				HAGEN
		No.  Our informer in McCluskey's
		precinct.  Tonight at 8:00 he
		signed out for Louis' Restaurant in
		the Bronx.  Anyone know it.

				TESSIO
		Sure, I do.  It's perfect for us.
		A small family place with big
		booths where people can talk in
		private.  Good food.  Everybody
		minds their business.  Perfect.
			  (he moves to the desk
			  and makes a crude drawing)
		This is the entrance, Mike.  When
		you finish just walk out and turn
		left, then turn the corner.
		Clemenza, you gotta work fast to
		plant the gun.  They got an old-
		fashioned toilet with a space
		between the water container and the
		wall.  We can tape the gun behind
		there.

				CLEMENZA
		Mike, they're gonna frisk you in
		the car.  You'll be clean so they
		won't worry 'bout nothing.  In the
		restaurant, wait and talk a while,
		and then ask permission to go.  See?
		Then when you come out, don't waste
		time; don't sit down...you come out
		blasting.  And don't take chances.
		In the head, two shots apiece.  And
		out as fast as your legs can move.

				SONNY
		I want somebody very good, very
		safe to plant that gun.  I don't
		want my brother coming out of that
		toilet with just his dick in his
		hand.

				CLEMENZA
		The gun will be there.

				SONNY
			  (to MICHAEL, warmly)
		You're on, kid...I'll square it
		with Mom your not seeing her before
		you left.  And I'll get a message
		to your girl friend when I think
		the time is right.

				CLEMENZA
		We gotta move...

				MICHAEL
		O.K.  How long do you think before
		I can come back?

				SONNY
		Probably a year...

				HAGEN
			  (starting to crack)
		Jesus, I don't know...

				SONNY
		Can you do it Mike?

	MICHAEL moves out.

	EXT NITE: CAMELS SIGN (WINTER 1945)

	The enormous "CAMELS" sign, puffing smoke, below it stands
	MICHAEL, dressed in a warm overcoat, and wearing the hat
	CLEMENZA had given him.  A long black car pulls around the
	corner and slows before him.  The DRIVER, leaning over, open
	the front door.

				DRIVER
		Get in, Mike.

	He does, the car drives off.

	EXT NITE: SOLLOZZO'S CAR (WINTER 1945)

	Inside the car, SOLLOZZO reaches his hand over the back seat
	and shakes MIKE's hand.

				SOLLOZZO
		I'm glad you came, Mike.  I hope we
		can straighten everything out.  All
		this is terrible, it's not the way
		I wanted things to happen at all.
		It should never have happened.

				MICHAEL
		I want to settle things tonight.  I
		want my father left alone.

				SOLLOZZO
		He won't be; I swear to you be my
		children he won't be.  Just keep an
		open mind when we talk.  I hope
		you're not a hothead like your
		brother, Sonny.  It's impossible to
		talk business with him.

	McCLUSKEY grunts.

				MCCLUSKEY
		He's a good kid.  He's all right.
		Turn around, up on your knees,
		facing me.

	He gives MICHAEL a thorough frisk.

				MCCLUSKEY
		I'm sorry about the other night
		Mike.  I'm getting too old for my
		job, too grouchy.  Can't stand the
		aggravation.  You know how it is.
		He's clean.

	EXT NITE: SOLLOZZO'S CAR - WEST SIDE HIGHWAY (WINTER 1945)

	MICHAEL looks at the DRIVER and then ahead to see where
	they're heading.

	The car takes the George Washington Bridge.  MICHAEL is
	concerned.

				MICHAEL
		We're going to New Jersey?

				SOLLOZZO
			  (sly)
		Maybe.

	MICHAEL closes his eyes.

	EXT NITE: SOLLOZZO'S CAR ON G.W. BRIDGE (WINTER 1945)

	The car speeds along the George Washington Bridge on its way
	to New Jersey.  Then suddenly it hits the divider,
	temporarily lifts into the air, and bounces over into the
	lanes going back to New York.  It then hits it very fast, on
	the way back to the city.

	EXT NITE: SOLLOZZO'S CAR (WINTER 1945)

	SOLLOZZO checks to see the cars that had been following, and
	then leans to the DRIVER.

				SOLLOZZO
		Nice work; I'll remember it.

	MICHAEL is relieved.

	EXT NITE: LUNA AZURA RESTAURANT (WINTER 1945)

	The car pulls up in front of a little family restaurant in
	the Bronx:  The "LUNA AZURA".  There is no one on the street.
	MICHAEL looks to see if the DRIVER is going to get out with
	them.  He gets out, and opens the door.  SOLLOZZO, McCLUSKEY
	and MICHAEL get out; the DRIVER remains leaning against the
	car.  They enter the restaurant.

	INT NITE: LUNA AZURA (WINTER 1945)

	A very small family restaurant with a mosaic tile floor.
	SOLLOZZO, MICHAEL and McCLUSKEY sit around a rather small
	round table near the center of the room.  There are empty
	booths along the side walls; with a handful of CUSTOMERS,
	and ONE or TWO WAITERS.  It is very quiet.

				MCCLUSKEY
		Is the Italian food good here?

				SOLLOZZO
		Try the veal; it's the finest in
		New York.

	The solitary WAITER brings a bottle of wine to the table.
	They watch him silently as he uncorks it and pours three
	glasses.  Then, when he leaves, SOLLOZZO turns to McCLUSKEY:

				SOLLOZZO
		I am going to talk Italian to Mike.

				MCCLUSKEY
		Sure, you two go right ahead; I'll
		concentrate on my veal and my
		spaghetti.

	SOLLOZZO now begins in rapid Sicilian.  MICHAEL listening
	carefully and nodding every so often.  Then MICHAEL answers
	in Sicilian, and SOLLOZZO goes on.  The WAITER occasionally
	brings food; and they hesitate while he is there; then go on.
	Then MICHAEL, having difficulty expressing himself in
	Italian, accidentally lapses into English.

				MICHAEL
			  (using English for emphasis)
		Most important...I want a sure
		guarantee that no more attempts
		will be made on my father's life.

				SOLLOZZO
		What guarantees can I give you?  I
		am the hunted one.  I've missed my
		chance.  You think too highly of
		me, my friend...I am not so
		clever...all I want if a truce...

	MICHAEL looks long and hard at SOLLOZZO, who is smiling
	holding his open hands up as if to say: "I have no tricks up
	my sleeve".  Then he looks away and makes a distressed look
	on his face.

				SOLLOZZO
		What is it?

				MICHAEL
		Is it all right if I go to the
		bathroom?

	SOLLOZZO is intuitively suspicious.  He studies MICHAEL with
	his dark eyes.  Then he thrusts his hand onto MICHAEL's
	thigh feeling in and around, searching for a weapon.

				MCCLUSKEY
		I frisked him; I've frisked
		thousands of young punks; he's clean.

	He looks at a MAN sitting at a table opposite them;
	indicating the bathroom with his eyes.  The MAN nods,
	indicating no one is there.

				SOLLOZZO
		Don't take too long.

	MICHAEL gets up and calmly walks to the bathroom, and
	disappears inside.

	INT NITE: LUNA AZURA TOILET (WINTER 1945)

	MICHAEL steps into the small bathroom; he is breathing very
	hard.  He actually uses the urinal.  Then he washes his
	hands with the bar of pink soap; and dries them thoroughly.
	Then he moves to the booth, up to the old-fashioned toilet.
	Slowly he reaches behind the water tank; he panics when he
	cannot feel the gun.  We see behind the tank his hand is
	just a few inches from the gun...he gropes
	searchingly...finally coming to rest on the gun.

	CLOSE ON MICHAEL; the feel of it reassures him.  Then he
	breaks it loose from the tape holding it; he takes a deep
	breath and shoves it under his waistband.  For some
	unexplainable reason he hesitates once again, deliberately
	washes his hands and dries them.  Then he goes out.

	INT NITE: LUNA AZURA (WINTER 1945)

	He hesitates by the bathroom door; and looks at his table.
	McCLUSKEY is eating a plate of spaghetti and veal.  SOLLOZZO
	turns around upon hearing the door, and looks directly at
	MICHAEL.  MICHAEL looks back.  Then he smiles and continues
	back to the table.  He sits down.

				MICHAEL
		Now I can talk.  I feel much better.

	The MAN by the far wall had been stiff with attention; now
	he too relaxes.  SOLLOZZO leans toward MICHAEL who sits down
	comfortably and his hands move under the table and unbutton
	his jacket.  SOLLOZZO begins to speak in Sicilian once again
	but MICHAEL's heart is pounding so hard he can barely hear
	him.

	The WAITER comes to ask about the order, SOLLOZZO turns to
	speak, and without warning, MICHAEL shoves the table away
	from him with his left hand, and with his right hand puts
	the gun right against SOLLOZZO's head, just touching his
	temple.  He pulls the trigger, and we see part of SOLLOZZO's
	head blown away, and a spray of fine mist of blood cover the
	entire area.

	The WAITER looks in amazement; suddenly his white jacket is
	sprayed and stained with blood.

	SOLLOZZO seems in a perpetual fall to the floor; through he
	seems to hang in space suspended.

	MICHAEL pivots, and looks:

	There is McCLUSKEY, frozen, the fork with a piece of veal
	suspended in air before his gaping mouth.

	MICHAEL fires; catching McCLUSKEY in his thick bulging
	throat.  He makes a horrible, gagging, choking sound.  Then
	coolly, and deliberately, MICHAEL fires again, fires right
	through McCLUSKEY's white-topped skull.

	The air is filled with pink mist.
	MICHAEL swings toward the MAN standing by the bathroom wall.
	He does not make a move, seemingly paralyzed.
	Now he carefully shows his hands to be empty.
	The WAITER steps backward through the mist of blood, an
	expression of horror on his face.
	MICHAEL looks at his two victims:
	SOLLOZZO still in his chair, side of his body propped up by
	the table.
	McCLUSKEY finally falls from the chair to the table.
	MICHAEL is wildly at a peak.  He starts to move out.  His
	hand: is frozen by his side, STILL GRIPPING THE GUN.
	He moves, not letting the gun go.

	MICHAEL's face; frozen in its expression.

	His hand: still holding the gun.

	His face: finally he closes his eyes.

	His hand relaxes, the gun falls to the floor with a dull thud.

	He walks quickly out of the restaurant, looks back.

	He sees a frozen tableau of the murder; as though it had
	been recreated in wax.

	Then he leaves.

	---------------------------------------FADE OUT---------

	FADE IN:

	INT DAY: MATTRESS (WINTER 1945)

	A MAN is his shirtsleeves plays a sentimental tune on an old
	upright piano, while his cigarette burns on the edge.
	ANOTHER stands nearby, listening quietly.

	A little distance away, TEN MEN sit around a crude table,
	quietly eating.  They talk in low, relaxed voices, and there
	is an occasional laugh.

	ROCCO LAMPONE stands by a window, which has been covered
	with a heavy-mesh wire grating, gazing out.

	A large bowl of pasta is passed, and the MEN eat heartily.

	The sentimental tune is continued over the following:

	INT DAY: BODIES IN CAR (WINTER 1945)

	A MAN and a WOMAN, blood coming out of their noses, lie
	still together in a bullet-riddled automobile.

	INT DAY: BODY IN BARBER SHOP (WINTER 1945)

	A MAN is covered by a sheet on the floor of a barber shop.

	INT DAY: MATTRESS

	Ten mattresses are spread out around the otherwise empty
	living room of an apartment.  THREE or FOUR MEN including
	CLEMENZA, are taking naps.

	An arsenal of hand guns are spread out on a card table.

	The MEN at the table continue their dinner; passing and
	pouring the wine.

	Trash is thrown in 2 or 3 garbage cans kept in the apartment.

	INT DAY: BODY IN OFFICE (WINTER 1945)

	A MAN, his clothes soaked in blood, lies on the floor of an
	office building, dead, under an enormous portrait of Harry S.
	Truman.

	EXT DAY: BODY ON STOOP (WINTER 1945)

	ANOTHER MAN, his trousers soaked in blood, lies spanning
	three steps of a front stoop.

	INT NITE: MATTRESS (WINTER 1945)

	TESSIO, sits in a simple straight-backed chair, doing a
	crossword puzzle.

	A thin, boyish BUTTON MAN, writes a letter.

	Six or seven empty mattresses, with tossed unmade blankets.
	Coffee cans beside them serve as ash trays.

	A MAN by the table pulls the cork on another bottle of
	Ruffino, and wine is poured as the MEN eat.

	EXT DAY: BODY IN ALLEY (WINTER 1945)

	A CORPSE is half out of an overturned garbage can in a quiet
	alley.

	INT DAY: BODY AT TABLE (WINTER 1945)

	A MAN in a formal jacket and tie is slumped over a table, in
	a pool of blood on the tablecloth.

	INT DAY: MATTRESS (WINTER 1945)

	A neatly stacked pile of newspapers in the corner of an
	apartment.  We catch a glimpse of one headline: "Five Family
	War..."

	The table.  The MEN are sitting around cracking nuts.  ONE
	has fallen asleep on his arms at the table.

	SEVERAL MEN are taking naps on the Mattresses.

	The PIANO PLAYER finishes the tune with finesse.  Picks up
	and takes a drag from his cigarette.  The OTHER MAN nods
	appreciatively.

				MAN
		Nice Augie...nice.

	EXT DAY: MANCINI BLDG. (SPRING '46)

	Several cars are parked in front of a pleasant New York
	apartment building.  We recognize a couple of SONNY's
	bodyguards loafing by the cars, pitching playing cards
	against the curb.

	Inside the building, two others wait quietly by the rows of
	brass mailboxes: they have been there quite awhile.

	Up one flight of stairs, a single man sits on the step,
	smoking a cigarette.

	One of the men by the mailboxes checks his pocketwatch,
	which is attached to a key chain.  We HEAR the sound of a
	door opening; they look up.

	The man sitting on the stop stands; and looks.

	SONNY backs out of an apartment, the arms of LUCY MANCINI
	wrapped around him.  She doesn't want to let go of him; she
	draws him back into the apartment for a moment, and then he
	comes out alone, adjusting his clothes.

	He jauntily skips down the steps, trailed by the bodyguard
	on the first floor, and moves outside toward his car.  The
	men quickly take up their positions.  As he gets in his car:

				DRIVER
		Pick up your sister?

				SONNY
		Yeah.

	The car drives off; accompanied and escorted by the
	bodyguards in their cars.

	INT DAY: CONNIE'S HALL (SPRING '46)

	He knocks on the door.  No answer.  Then again.

				CONNIE'S VOICE
		Who is it?

				SONNY
		It's me, Sonny.

	We hear the bolt slide back, and see the door open.  SONNY
	enters, but CONNIE has quickly moved into the hallway, her
	back to him.

				SONNY
			  (tenderly)
		Connie, what is it?

	He turns her around in his arms.

	Her face is swollen and bruised; and we can tell from her
	rough, red eyes that she has been crying for a long time.
	As soon as he realizes what's happened, his face goes red
	with rage.  She sees it coming, and clings to him, preventing
	him from running out of the apartment.

				CONNIE
			  (desperately)
		It was my fault!  I started a fight
		with him and I tried to hit him so
		he hit me.  He didn't even try to
		hit me hard Sonny, I walked into it.

	Sonny listens, and calms himself.  He touches her shoulder,
	the thin silk robe.

				SONNY
		I'm goin' to have the doctor come
		over and take a look at you.

	He starts to leave.

				CONNIE
		Oh Sonny, please don't do anything.
		Please don't.

	He stops, and then laughs good naturedly.

				SONNY
		Hey.  Con.  What'm I goin' to do?
		Make your kid a orphan before he's
		born.

	She laughs with him.  He kisses her reassuringly, and leaves.

	EXT DAY: CONNIE'S STREET

	CARLO settles down on the front steps of the 112th St.
	"Book" with SALLY RAGS and COACH, who have been drinking
	beer out of glasses and a pitcher of beer from around the
	corner.  The ball game is blaring from the radio; and the
	kids on the street are still playing stickball.

	CARLO has barely settled down, when the kids in the street
	suddenly scatter, and a car comes screeching up the block
	and to a halt in front of the candy store.  The tires
	scream, and before it seems as though it has even stopped, a
	MAN comes hurtling out of the driver's seat, moving so fast
	the everyone is paralyzed.  It is a moment before we
	recognize that it is SONNY.

	His face is contorted with anger; in a split second he is on
	the stoop and has CARLO by the throat.

	He pulls CARLO away from the others, trying to get him down
	into the street.  But CARLO reaches out for the iron railing,
	and hangs on, his hand in a lock, cringing away, trying to
	hide his head and face in the hollow of the his shoulders.
	His shirt is ripped away in SONNY's hand.

	SALLY RAGS and COACH, merely sit, watching, stunned.

	SONNY is pounding the cowered CARLO with all his strength,
	in a continuous monologue of indistinguishable cursing.  His
	blows are powerful; and begin to draw blood.

	The kids who have been playing stickball, move up, watching
	in fascination.

	CARLO's hands are clenched tight around the railing.

	SONNY beats him mercilessly.

	Now SONNY's bodyguards' car pulls up, and they too become
	spectators.

	SONNY's tight fists are going down like hammers, into
	CARLO's face and body.

	CARLO's nose is bleeding profusely; but still he does
	nothing, other than hang onto the railing.

	SONNY grabs hold of CARLO's massive body, and tries to drag
	him off of the hold on the railing, his teeth clenched in
	the effort.  Then he tries loosening CARLO's locked hands;
	even biting them.  CARLO screams but he does not let go.

	It's clear that CARLO is much stronger than he is, and will
	not be moved.  SONNY knees him in the mouth, and beats him
	more; but he is exhausted.  Totally out of breath, he
	stammers haltingly to the bleeding CARLO.

				SONNY
		You...bastard...You...hurt my
		sister... again...and I'll
		kill...you.

	He wipes the sweat from his face, and then turns suddenly.
	and hurries back to the car, in a moment his car is gone,
	leaving even his bodyguards in confusion.  We notice ONE MAN
	with a sports jacket in the group of spectators especially
	interested.

	CARLO finally relaxes the clenched, locked hands.  He slumps
	onto the stoop.

	---------------------------------------FADE OUT---------

	FADE IN:

	EXT DAY: MALL (SPRING 1946)

	HIGH ANGLE on the Corleone Mall.  It is a gray, rainy day.
	Young BUTTON MEN in raincoats stand in quiet groups of
	various points around the main house and compound.  Things
	have changed; one house has been extensively enlarged; a new
	and secure gate house has been built.  Security measures
	that had been make-shift and temporarily have now been made
	a permanent part of the Mall, evolving it into a Medieval
	Fortress.  We notice a huge crater in the courtyard; the
	result of a recent bomb attempt.  The house nearest the
	crater is damaged by fire.

	A taxi arrives; KAY ADAMS steps out, huddled in a bright
	yellow raincoat; she lets the cab go, and hurries to the
	shelter of the gate house.

	They are not expecting her, and ask her to wait while they
	call the main house.

	KAY looks at the imposing, depressing Mall, while rain still
	runs down onto her face.

	She notices the bomb crater, and the fire damage; and the
	sullen faces of the BUTTON MEN.

	TOM HAGEN exits the Main House, and hurries toward her.

				HAGEN
		Kay, we weren't expecting you.  You
		should call...

				KAY
		I've tried calling and writing.  I
		want to reach Michael.

				HAGEN
		Nobody knows where he is.  We know
		he's all right, but that's all.

	KAY looks in the direction of the crater, filling with
	rainwater.

				KAY
		What was that?

				HAGEN
		An accident.  No one was hurt.

				KAY
		Listen Tom, I let my cab go; can I
		come in to call another one?

	TOM is clearly reluctant to involve her any more than he has
	to.

				HAGEN
		Sure...I'm sorry.

	They hurry through the rain and into the Main House.

	INT DAY: DON'S LIVING ROOM (SPRING 1946)

	In the living room, KAY shakes the water from her coat and
	takes her rainhat off.

				KAY
		Will you give this to him.

				HAGEN
		If I accept that letter and you
		told a Court of Law I accepted it,
		they would interpret it as my
		having knowledge of his whereabouts.
		Just wait Kay, he'll contact you.

	We hear footsteps descending the staircase; MAMA CORLEONE
	enters the room; the OLD WOMAN squints at KAY, evaluating her.

				MAMA
		You're Mikey's little girl.

	KAY nods yes; there are still tears in her eyes.

				MAMA
		You eat anything?

	KAY shakes her head.

				MAMA
			  (to HAGEN)
		Disgrazia, you don't even give the
		poor girl a cup of coffee?

	HAGEN shrugs helplessly; on an impulse, KAY quickly moves
	toward MAMA, the letter extended.

				KAY
		Will you give this letter to Michael.

				HAGEN
		Mama, no.

				MAMA
		You tell me what to do?  Even he
		don't tell me what to do.

	She takes the letter from KAY, who is grateful and relieved.

				KAY
		Why did they blame Michael?

				MAMA
		You listen to me, you go home to
		your family, and you find a good
		young man and get married.  Forget
		about Mikey; he's no good for you,
		anymore.

	She looks directly into KAY's eyes; and KAY understands what
	that means.

	EXT DAY: DON'S HOSPITAL (SPRING 1946)

	A hospital in New York City.  POLICE and teams of PRIVATE
	DETECTIVES are stationed guarding the area.  An ambulance
	with a team of DETECTIVES and BUTTON-MEN GUARDS exit the
	hospital with rifles in hand; followed by SEVERAL HOSPITAL
	ASSISTANTS wheeling a hospital stretcher, presumably carrying
	the DON.

	TESSIO and CLEMENZA emerge, with OTHER BUTTON MEN bringing
	up the rear.  HAGEN walks with the stretcher, and for a
	moment they disappear behind the ambulance.  Then suddenly,
	siren blasting, it speeds off, accompanied by dark low-slung
	cars.

	EXT DAY: MALL (SPRING 1946)

	The Corleone Mall.

	Equally impressive security stands ready at the Corleone
	Mall.  EXTRA BUTTON MEN, as well as SOME POLICE, and PRIVATE
	DETECTIVES.

	It all seems to be under the supervision of ROCCO LAMPONE.
	All is silent.  The WOMEN and CHILDREN, dressed in Sunday
	clothes, wait.

	EXT DAY: AMBULANCE (SPRING 1946)

	One ambulance, speeding along the Grand Central Parkway,
	preceded and followed by a dark car, each one carrying a
	team of BUTTON MEN.

	Sitting next to the DRIVER of the ambulance is a GUARD with
	a rifle on his lap.

	INT DAY: DON'S HALL (SPRING 1946)

	Inside the Main CORLEONE House:

	Hospital ORDERLIES carry the DON on his stretcher carefully
	under the watchful eyes of CLEMENZA, TESSIO, LAMPONE and
	various GUARDS and BUTTON MEN.

	All the CORLEONE family is here today: MAMA, FREDO, SANDRA,
	THERESA, CONNIE, CARLO; the various CORLEONE CHILDREN.

	INT DAY: DON'S BEDROOM (SPRING 1946)

	The DON is made comfortable in his room, which has all but
	been converted into a hospital room, with complete and
	extensive equipment.  The various CHILDREN get a turn to
	kiss the OLD MAN, as he is made comfortable... and then
	SONNY indicates that all the CHILDREN, WOMEN, and CARLO
	should leave.

	They do, the door is closed.

	INT DAY: DON'S DINING ROOM (SPRING 1946)

	The mood is quite happy downstairs, as the WOMEN prepare the
	Sunday dinner, and set the table.

	CARLO sits alone among them, a frown on his face.

				CONNIE
		What's the matter, Carlo?

				CARLO
		Shut up.

	INT DAY: DON'S BEDROOM (SPRING 1946)

	All the MEN of the family stand around the hospital bed with
	grim faces, SONNY and HAGEN closest to the OLD MAN.  The DON
	does not speak, yet he asks questions with his looks and
	glances, as clearly as if they were verbalized.  HAGEN is
	the spokesman for the family.

				HAGEN
		...since McCluskey's killing, the
		police have cracked down on most of
		our operations...on the other
		families too.  There's been a lot
		of bad blood.

	The OLD MAN glances at SONNY.

				SONNY
		Pop, they hit us and we hit them
		back.

				HAGEN
		We put out a lot of material
		through our contacts in the
		Newspapers...about McCluskey's
		being tied up with Sollozzo in the
		Drug Rackets...things are starting
		to loosen up.

	The OLD MAN nods.

				SONNY
		Freddie's gonna go to Las
		Vegas...under the protection of Don
		Francesco of L.A.  I want him to
		rest...

				FREDO
		I'm goin' to learn the casino
		business.

	The DON nods approvingly.  Then he searches around the room
	for a face he does not see.  HAGEN knows who he's looking for.

				HAGEN
		Michael...
			  (he takes a breath)
		It was Michael who killed Sollozzo.

	The DON closes his eyes, and then reopens them in anger and
	rage.

				HAGEN
		He's safe now...we're already
		working on ways to bring him back.

	The DON is very angry, he motions with a weak hand that they
	leave him alone.

	INT. DAY: DON'S STAIRS AND HALL (SPRING 1946)

	HAGEN is very upset as he comes down the Stairs; SONNY is
	expansive and optimistic.

				SONNY
		We'll let the old man take it easy
		for a couple of weeks.  I want to
		get things going good before he
		gets better.  What's the matter
		with you?

				HAGEN
		You start operating, the five
		families will start their raids
		again.  We're at a stalemate Sonny,
		your war is costing us a lot of
		money.

				SONNY
		No more stalemate Tom, we got the
		soldiers, we'll match them gun for
		gun if that's how they want it.
		They know me for what I am, Tom--
		and they're scared of me.

				HAGEN
		Yes.  That's true, you're getting a
		hell of a reputation.

				SONNY
		Well it's war!  We might not be in
		this shape if we had a real war-
		time Consiglere, a Sicilian.  Pop
		had Genco, who do I have?
			  (TOM starts to leave)
		Hey Tom, hey...hey.  It's Sunday,
		we're gonna have dinner.  Don't be
		sore.

	INT DAY: DON'S DINING ROOM (SPRING 1946)

	The FAMILY, WIVES, CHILDREN and all sit around the table
	over Sunday dinner.  SONNY is at the head of the table.

	EXT DAY: MALL (SPRING 1946)

	SOME of the CORLEONE GRANDCHILDREN play in the enclosed
	Mall, in the proximity of the BUTTON MEN stationed liberally
	by the gate.

	ONE CHILD misses a ball, it rolls by the gate house.  A
	young BUTTON MAN scoops it up and throws it back, smiling.

	-----------------------------------------FADE OUT-------

	INT DAY: CONNIE'S APT. (SPRING 1946)

	CONNIE and CARLO's apartment.  She's in a slip, on the phone.
	We HEAR the shower going in the bathroom.

				CONNIE
		Who is this?

				GIRL (O.S.)
			  (giggle)
		I'm a friend of Carlo's.  I just
		wanted to tell him I can't see him
		tonight; I have to go out of town.

	CONNIE's face turns red.

				CONNIE
		You lousy tramp bitch.
			  (click)


	She slams the phone down; just as CARLO is coming out of the
	bathroom drying his golden body.

				CARLO
		What was that?

				CONNIE
		Your girl friend.  She says she
		can't make it tonight.  You lousy
		bastard you have the nerve to give
		your whores my telephone number.
		I'll kill you, you bastard!

	She hauls off and punches him knowingly; he laughs, so then
	she flings herself at him, kicking and scratching; her heavy
	belly heaving under the thin slip.

				CARLO
			  (defending himself)
		You're crazy.  She was kidding
		around; I don't know, some nut.

	He pushes her aside, and moves into the bedroom to continue
	dressing.

				CONNIE
		You're staying home.  You're not
		going out.

				CARLO
		OK, OK.  You gonna make me something
		to eat at least?

	That calms her down; she stands there a moment, breathing
	heavily; and then she nods, and goes into the kitchen, and
	starts her wifely duties.

	CARLO is dressed; puts on some cologne; CONNIE appears in
	the doorway.

				CONNIE
		The food is on the table.

				CARLO
		I'm not hungry yet.

				CONNIE
		Eat it, it's on the table.

				CARLO
		Ba Fa Goulle.

				CONNIE
		BA FA GOULE YOU!

	She turns deliberately, goes out into the kitchen.  A moment
	later we begin to hear the sound of dishes breaking.  CARLO
	slowly walks out, where we can see CONNIE systematically
	smashing all the dishes against the sink, sending the greasy
	veal and peppers all over the apartment floor.

				CARLO
		You filthy guinea spoiled brat.
		Clean it up or I'll kick your head
		in.

				CONNIE
		Like hell I will.

	She stands there, solid, ready to punch him again.  Slowly,
	he slides his belt out of his trousers, and doubles it in
	his hand.

				CARLO
		Clean it up!

	He swings the belt against her heavy hips.  She moves back
	into the kitchen, and gets a kitchen knife, and holds it
	ready.

				CARLO
		Even the female Corleones are
		murderers.

	He puts the strap down on a table, and moves after her.  She
	makes a sudden thrust at his groin, which he avoids.  He
	pulls the knife away, cutting his hand in the process.  She
	gets away momentarily, but he pursues her around the table,
	gets her; and starts to slap her in the face.

	She breaks away from him, and rushes into the bedroom.

				CONNIE
		The baby!  The baby!

	INT DAY: CONNIE'S BEDROOM  (SPRING 1946)

	She runs into the bedroom; he follows.  She moves into a
	corner, and then like a desperate animal, tries to hide
	under the bed.

	He reaches under, and pulls her out by the hair.

	He slaps her in the face until she begins to weep; then he
	throws her on the bed, contemptuously.  He grabs part of her
	thigh, pinching it very hard.

				CARLO
		You're fat as a pig.

	Then he pushes her away, and walks out of the room, leaving
	her in tears.  She is crying; she pulls herself to the
	bedroom phone, and in a whisper:

				CONNIE
		Mama...mama, it's Connie.  Mama, I
		can't talk any louder.  No, I don't
		want to talk to Sonny.

	We can tell that the phone has been passed to SONNY.

	INT DAY: DON'S KITCHEN (SPRING 1946)

	In the kitchen at the Mall, MAMA cannot understand the
	whispering and she has given the phone to SONNY.

				SONNY
		Yeah Connie.

				CONNIE (O.S.)
		Sonny, just send a car to bring me
		home.  I'll tell you then, it's
		nothing Sonny, don't you come.
		Send TOM, please Sonny, it's
		nothing; I just want to come home.

	SONNY's face is turning red.

				SONNY
			  (in a controlled voice)
		You wait there.  You just wait there.

	He hangs up the phone; and just stands there for a moment.

				SONNY
			  (quietly)
		That sonofabitch; that sonofabitch...

	HAGEN enters the room; he knows what is happening, knows he
	cannot interfere.

	EXT DAY: MALL

	SONNY leaves the house.  HAGEN moves to the outside mall
	just as SONNY's car is driving off.  He moves to a group of
	BUTTON MEN.

				HAGEN
		Go after him.

	EXT DAY: CAUSEWAY (SPRING 1946)

	SONNY's car on the Jones Beach Causeway, speeds quickly by.
	After a pause, another car, with the CORLEONE BODYGUARDS, is
	trailing.

	SONNY is driving; he is very angry.

	EXT NITE: TOLL BOOTHS (SPRING 1946)

	SONNY in his car; driving back.  Still breathing hard and
	still furious.  Then he thinks it's funny; he enjoyed it.
	He starts laughing, louder and louder, as he pulls up to a
	toll booth, stops, and extends his hand with a coin to the
	COLLECTOR.

	---------------------------------------FADE OUT---------

	FADE IN:

	INT NITE: AMERIGO BONASERA'S APARTMENT

	The serious-faced UNDERTAKER is on the telephone.

				HAGEN (O.S.)
		This is Tom Hagen.  I'm calling for
		Don Corleone, at his request.

	BONASERA looks at his WIFE, with deep anxiety in his eyes.
	BONASERA's lips are suddenly dry.

				BONASERA
		Yes, I understand.  I'm listening.

				HAGEN (O.S.)
		You owe the Don a service.  In one
		hour, not before, perhaps later, he
		will be at your funeral parlor to
		ask for your help.  Be there to
		greet him.  If you have any
		objections speak now, and I'll
		inform him.

	Silence.  BONASERA stutters, then speaks in fright.

				BONASERA
		Anything...Anything the Godfather
		wishes.

				HAGEN (O.S.)
		Good.  He never doubted you.

				BONASERA
		The Don himself is coming to me
		tonight?

				HAGEN (O.S.)
		Yes.
			  (click)


	BONASERA is sweating; slowly he lowers the phone; his WIFE
	sees his pale expression, and follows him into the room.

	Silently, he begins the ritual of dressing.  His WIFE knows
	something serious is happening, and never takes her eyes
	from him.  He lights a cigarette.

				BONASERA
		For the last year, they have been
		killing one another.  So now, what?
		Your Godfather comes to me...Why?
			  (whispering, slyly)
		They've killed someone so important
		that they wish to make his body
		disappear.

				MRS. BONASERA
			  (frightened)
		Amerigo!

				BONASERA
		They could make me an accomplice to
		their murder.  They could send me
		to jail!

	He slips into his trousers.  Then he moves to his WIFE to
	tie his tie, as she has done for years.

				BONASERA
		And if the other families find
		out...they will make me their enemy.
		They could come here to our house.
		I curse the day I ever went to the
		Godfather.

	EXT NITE: FUNERAL PARLOR (SPRING 1946)

	With his ring of keys, he opens the funeral parlor, enters.

	INT NITE: FUNERAL PARLOR (SPRING 1946)

	BONASERA walks through the darkened funeral parlor, without
	turning on the lights; then into the rear, preparation room,
	past the tables, and equipment.  He operates the chain that
	lifts a large overhead garage type door.  And looks out into
	the alley.

	He sits on a bench, and waits.

	EXT NITE: FUNERAL PARLOR ALLEY (SPRING 1946)

	The tires of a car roll very quietly along the small alley;
	we notice a dark car approach the rear of BONASERA's funeral
	parlor.

	CLEMENZA gets out, and moves to the open, rear door.
	BONASERA greets him, too petrified to speak.  He notices TWO
	OTHER MEN get out of the car, and carry a stretcher with a
	CORPSE swaddled in a gray blanket, with yellowed feet
	protruding.

	BONASERA closes his eyes in fear, but indicates which way
	the MEN should carry their sinister burden.

	INT NITE: FUNERAL PARLOR EMBALMING ROOM (SPRING 1946)

	They carry the CORPSE to one of the tables in the embalming
	room.

	Then BONASERA turns to see ANOTHER MAN step out of the
	darkness somewhat uncertainly.  It is DON CORLEONE.

	He walks up to BONASERA, very close, without speaking.  His
	cold eyes looking directly at the frightened UNDERTAKER.
	Then, after a long gaze:

				DON CORLEONE
		Well my friend, are you ready to do
		me this service?

	BONASERA nods.  The DON moves to the CORPSE on the embalming
	table; he makes a gesture, and the OTHER MEN leave them alone.

				BONASERA
		What do you wish me to do?

				DON CORLEONE
			  (staring at the table)
		I want you to use all your powers,
		all your skill, as you love me.  I
		do not want his mother to see him
		as he is.

	He draws down the gray blanket.

	BONASERA lets out a gasp of horror at what he sees:

	The bullet-smashed face of SONNY CORLEONE.

	EXT NITE: TOLL BOOTHS (SPRING 1946)

	SONNY extends his hand with a coin at the toll booth.

	A car suddenly swerves in front of him, trapping him in the
	booth, and in incredible rally of machine gun fire greets
	him, coming through and smashing the windows of the toll
	booths on both side of him, and from the front window of the
	car blocking him.

	The windows of his car are shot out.

	Bullet holes puncture the doors of his car.

	His hand, with the coin in it, falls inside the car.

	His arms, shoulders are riddled by the fire, and still it
	continues, as though the ASSASSINS cannot take a chance that
	he will survive it.

	Suddenly, he lets out an enormous ROAR, like a bull, and
	actually, opens the door, and steps out of the car, UNDER
	fire.

	His face is hit; and finally he falls to the ground.

	A FULL SHOT...as the ASSASSINS scramble for their cars and
	make off in the distance.

	SONNY's BODYGUARDS stop a safe distance away, realizing they
	are too late.

	INT NITE: DON'S LIVING ROOM (SPRING 1946)

	View on HAGEN's ashen face in the living room.  He is silent
	a moment, and then:

				HAGEN
			  (quietly)
		OK.  Go to Clemenza's house and
		tell him to come here right away.
		He'll tell you what to do.

	The MEN leave him alone.  He is quiet, standing in the
	middle of the living room a moment.  He looks in the
	direction of the kitchen, where he can see fragments of MAMA
	moving around.

	INT NITE: UPSTAIRS (SPRING 1946)

	TOM proceeds up stairs, and quietly in the direction of the
	DON's room.  He opens the DON's door.  Looks in.

	INT NITE: DON'S BEDROOM (SPRING 1946)

	The DON in his hospital bed.  Asleep under sedation.  HAGEN
	hesitates.  He cannot go in; he cannot tell the OLD MAN.  He
	closes the door.

	INT NITE: DON'S OFFICE (SPRING 1946)

	HAGEN alone in the office.  He is drinking.  He looks up at
	the sound of cars; the CAPOREGIMES are arriving.  Then he
	hears footsteps.

	The door opens; and in a robe, with slippers, DON CORLEONE
	slowly enters the room.  He walks directly to his stuffed
	armchair, sits down.  His face is stern, as he looks into
	HAGEN's eyes.

				DON CORLEONE
		Give me a drop of anisette.

	HAGEN rises, and pours a glass for the OLD MAN.

				DON CORLEONE
		My wife was weeping before she fell
		asleep, outside my window I saw my
		caporegimes to the house, and it is
		midnight.  So, Consigliere of mine,
		I think you should tell your Don
		what everyone knows.

				HAGEN
			  (quietly)
		I didn't tell Mama anything.  I was
		about to come up and wake you and
		tell you.  Just now.

				DON CORLEONE
		But you needed a drink first.

				HAGEN
		Yes.

				DON CORLEONE
		Now you've had your drink.

	Pause.

				HAGEN
		They shot Sonny on the Causeway.
			  (pause)
		He's dead.

	DON CORLEONE blinks.  One feels that just for a second he
	loses all physical strength; he clasps his hands in front of
	him on the top of the desk and looks into HAGEN's eyes.

				DON CORLEONE
		I want no inquiries made.  No acts
		of vengeance.
			  (pause)
		Consigliere, arrange a meeting with
		the heads of the five
		families...this war stops now.

	He rises and unsteadily leaves the room, turns...

				DON CORLEONE
		Call Bonasera...he will do me a
		service.

	And leaves.  HAGEN moves to the phone; dials...

				HAGEN
		This is Tom Hagen; I'm calling for
		Don Corleone, at his request.

				BONASERA (O.S.)
		Yes, I understand I'm listening.

				HAGEN
		You owe the Don a service.  He has
		no doubt that you will repay it.

	EXT DAY: BANK BUILDING (SPRING 1946)

	Day in Manhattan.  An impressive Bank Building in the
	financial center of New York.  Many limousines are parked,
	uniforms and plain-clothed CHAUFFEURS waiting quietly.

	INT DAY: BOARD ROOM (SPRING 1946)

	The Board Room of a bank, daylight shines in the windows.

	CARLO TRAMONTI, an impressive, handsome middle-aged man,
	sits quietly, smoking a Di Napoli cigar, OUR VIEW moves to a
	MAN sitting to his left, and a little to the rear, and
	settles on JOSEPH ZALUCHI, a moon-faced amiable-looking man;
	as the view continues, around the table, we HEAR:

				DON CORLEONE (O.S.)
		I want to thank you all for coming.
		I consider it a service done to me
		personally and I am in the debt of
		each and every one of you.
		Especially those of you who have
		traveled from such distances as
		California, St. Louis, Kansas City;
		and New Orleans...

	The VIEW PASSES to FRANK FALCONE and ANTHONY MOLINARI, both
	younger than any of the others; then on to DOMENICK PANZA,
	short and squat sitting in a wheelchair; then around the
	table to DON VINCENENZO FORLENZA, who is whispering to his
	JEWISH ASSISTANT; the VIEW PASSES on to ANTHONY STRACCI, an
	older man, sipping from a drink and smoking a cigar; OTTILIO
	CUNEO, in his middle sixties with a jolly round face; then
	DON PHILLIP TATTAGLIA, a delicate older man with dyed hair
	and a pencil mustache; and finally, EMILIO BARZINI, in his
	early sixties, a man to 'respect'; whom we had seen at
	CONNIE's Wedding.

				DON CORLEONE
		Ah well, let's get down to business.
		We are all honorable men here, we
		don't have to give assurances as if
		we were lawyers.
			  (he sits, gazes out
			  at them, and sighs)
		How did things ever go so far?
		Well, no matter.  A lot of
		foolishness has come to pass.  It
		was so unfortunate, so unnecessary.

	The VIEW examines the room once again, as the DON speaks.  A
	large, clicking board is changing numbers at various times,
	and two tapes, showing the fluctuations of the Market during
	the day's trading, and projected above.

	DON CORLEONE pauses; and TOM HAGEN hands him a cold drink.

				DON CORLEONE
		Tattaglia has lost a son; I have
		lost a son.  We are quits.  Let
		there be a peace...
			  (he gestures
			  expressively,
			  submissively, with
			  his hands)
		That is all I want...

				BARZINI
		Don Corleone is too modest.  He had
		the judges and politicians in his
		pocket and he refused to share them.
		His refusal is not the act of a
		friend.  He takes the bread out of
		the mouths of our families.  Times
		have changed, it's not like the old
		days where everyone can go his own
		way.  If Don Corleone had all the
		judges and politicians in New York,
		then he must share them or let
		others use them.  Certainly he can
		present a bill for such services,
		we're not Communists, after all.
		But he has to let us draw water
		from the well.  It's that simple.

				DON CORLEONE
		My friends, I didn't refuse out of
		malice.  You all know me.  When
		have I ever refused an accommodation?
		But why, this time?  Because I
		think this drug business will
		destroy us in the years to come.
		It's not like whiskey or gambling
		or even women which most people
		want and is forbidden them by the
		pezzonovante of the Church and the
		Government.  But drugs?  No.  Even
		policemen, who help us in gambling
		and other things would refuse to
		help us in drugs.  But...I am
		willing to do whatever all of you
		think is necessary.

				DON ZALUCHI
		I don't believe in drugs.  For
		years I paid my people extra so
		they wouldn't do that kind of
		business...$200 a week.  But it
		didn't matter.  Somebody comes to
		them and says, "I have powders, if
		you put up three, four thousand
		dollar investment, we can make
		fifty thousand distributing."  Who
		can resist such a profit?
		There's no way to control it, as a
		business...to keep it respectable.
			  (rapping the table)
		I don't want it near schools!  I
		don't want it sold to children.
		That is an infamita.
			  (thinking)
		In my city I would try to keep the
		traffic in the dark people, the
		colored.  They are the best
		customers, the least troublesome,
		and they are animals anyway.  They
		have no respect for their wives or
		their families or themselves.  Let
		them lose their souls with drugs.
		But something has to be done, we
		can't have everybody running around
		doing just what they please, like a
		bunch of anarchists.

				BARZINI
		Then, are we agreed; the traffic in
		drugs will be permitted, but
		controlled; and Don Corleone agrees
		to give it protection in the East.

	DON CORLEONE nods.

				BARZINI
		That's the whole matter then, we
		have the peace, and let me pay my
		respects to Don Corleone, whom we
		have all known over the years as a
		man of his word.
			  (noticing TATTAGLIA
			  is uneasy)
		Don Philip?

				TATTAGLIA
		I agree to everything here, I'm
		willing to forget my own misfortune.
		But I must hear strict assurance
		from Corleone.  When time goes by
		and his position becomes stronger,
		will he attempt any individual
		vengeance?

	They all look at the DON; especially HAGEN, who feels that
	DON CORLEONE has given a great deal, and must have something
	else in mind.  Slowly the DON rises.

				DON CORLEONE
		I forego my vengeance for my dead
		son, for the common good.  But I
		have selfish reasons.  My youngest
		son had to flee, accused of
		Sollozzo's murder, and I must now
		make arrangements so that he can
		come home with safety, cleared of
		all those false charges.  That is
		my affair, and I will make those
		arrangements.
			  (with strength)
		But I am a superstitious man...and
		so if some unlucky accident should
		befall my youngest son, if some
		police officer should accidentally
		shoot him, or if he should hang
		himself in his cell, or if my son
		is struck by a bolt of lightning,
		then I will blame some of the
		people here.  That, I could never
		forgive, but...aside from that, let
		me swear by the souls of my
		Grandchildren that I will never be
		the one to break the peace we have
		made.

	EXT NITE: DON'S LIMO (SPRING 1946)

	The DON's black limousine.  He sits quietly in the padded
	rear seat; TOM HAGEN next to him.

	It is night.  Lights flash by them every so often.

				HAGEN
		When I meet with Tattaglia's
		people; should I insist that all
		his drug middle-men be clean?

				DON CORLEONE
		Mention it, don't insist.  Barzini
		is a man who will know that without
		being told.

				HAGEN
		You mean Tattaglia.

				DON CORLEONE
			  (shaking his head)
		Barzini.

				HAGEN
			  (a revelation)
		He was the one behind Sollozzo?

				DON CORLEONE
		Tattaglia is a pimp.  He could
		never have outfought Santino.  But
		I wasn't sure until this day.  No,
		it was Barzini all along.

	The black limousine speeds away from us in the night.

	------------------------------------------FADE OUT------

	FADE IN:

	EXT DAY: ESTABLISHING SICILY SHOT

	A CLOSE VIEW OF MICHAEL, moving as he walks, sullen and
	downcast, the left side of his face healed, but left
	grotesque and misshapen.

	GRADUALLY, THE VIEW LOOSENS, he wears a warm navy Pea
	jacket, and walks with his hands in his pockets.

	THE VIEW LOOSENS FURTHER, revealing a Sicilian SHEPHERD on
	either side of him, each carrying a shotgun slung over his
	shoulder, CALO, a squat and husky young man with a simple
	honest quality, and FABRIZZIO, slender and handsome, likable,
	and with a pleasing build.  Each of the SHEPHERDS  carry
	knapsacks.

	The THREE YOUNG MEN continue over the Sicilian landscape,
	overlooking an impressive view of land and sea.

	EXT DAY: SICILY ROAD

	The THREE move through a flock of wind-blown sheep, and make
	their way to a dusty rural road.  We HEAR a rinky horn
	sound, as a pre-war Italian automobile makes its way to them.
	An OLD MAN peeks from the window, waving to MICHAEL.  The
	car pulls in front of them and stops.  MICHAEL nods
	respectfully.

				MICHAEL
		Don Tommassino.

				DON TOMMASSINO
		Michael, why must you do this.  We
		have been lucky so far, all these
		months you've been here we've kept
		your name a secret.  It is from
		love for your father that I've
		asked you never to more than an
		hour from the Villa.

				MICHAEL
		Calo and Fabrizzio are with me;
		nothing will happen.

				DON TOMMASSINO
		You must understand that your
		Father's enemies have friends in
		Palermo.

				MICHAEL
		I know.

				DON TOMMASSINO
		Where are you going?

				MICHAEL
		Corleone.

				DON TOMMASSINO
		There is nothing there.  Not anymore.

				MICHAEL
		I was told that my Grandfather was
		murdered on its main street; and
		his murderers came to kill my
		father there when he was twelve
		years old.

				DON TOMMASSINO
		Long ago.  Now there is nothing:
		the men killed each other in family
		vendettas...the others escaped to
		America.

				MICHAEL
		Don Tommassino...I should see this
		place.

	DON TOMMASSINO thinks a moment, then concedes.

				DON TOMMASSINO
		That is your birthright...but
		Michael, use this car.

				MICHAEL
		No...I would like to walk to
		Corleone.

	The OLD MAN sighs, and then returns to his car.

				DON TOMMASSINO
		Be careful Michael, don't let them
		know your name.

	The old car sputters off; MICHAEL watches, and then continues
	on his journey.

	EXT DAY: COUNTRYSIDE

	The THREE pass through abundant areas of flowers and fruit
	trees, in bloom and bursting with life.

	EXT DAY: VILLAGE

	They continue in the empty streets of a little town; the
	post-war poverty is evident in the skinny dogs; and the
	empty streets.  Occasionally, a military vehicle, the only
	gasoline-powered vehicles on the road, will pass.  And there
	are many POLICE evident, most of them carrying machine guns.

	The THREE pass under an enormous banner slung over the main
	road "VOTA COMMUNISTA".

	EXT DAY: COUNTRY ROAD

	They continue through dusty country roads, where occasionally
	a donkey pulling a cart, or a lone horseman will pass them.

	EXT DAY: FIELD

	Out in a field, in the distance, they come upon a procession
	of peasants and activists, perhaps two hundred strong,
	marching, and singing, and in the lead, are five or six men
	carrying billowing red banners.

	EXT DAY: GROVE

	They are in an orange grove; on the other side of the trees
	is a deep, tall field of wild flowers.

	The Shepherds unsling their guns and knapsacks, and take out
	loaves of bread, some wine, sausage and cheese.

	MICHAEL rests against a tree, and uses his handkerchief.

				FABRIZZIO
		You tell us about America.

				MICHAEL
		How do you know I come from America?

				FABRIZZIO
		We hear.  We were told you were a
		Pezzonovanta...big shot.

				MICHAEL
		Only the son of a Pezzonovanta.

				FABRIZZIO
		Hey America!  Is she as rich as
		they say?

				MICHAEL
		Yes.

				FABRIZZIO
		Take me to America!  You need a
		good lupara in America?
			  (pats his shotgun)
		You take me, I'll be the best man
		you got.  "Oh say, can you
		seeee...By da star early light..."

	MICHAEL laughs.

	EXT DAY: ANOTHER ROAD

	The TRIO continues down a dirt road, as an American Military
	convoy speeds by; FABRIZZIO waves, and calls out to each of
	the U.S. drivers, as they move by.

				FABRIZZIO
		America.
		Hey America!
		Take me with you!
		Hey, take me to America G.I.!

	EXT DAY: CORLEONE HILL

	They continue their long hike, high on a promentory; until
	they hesitate, and look down.

				CALO
		Corleone.

	They can see a grim Sicilian village, almost devoid of people.

	EXT DAY: CORLEONE STREET

	MICHAEL and his bodyguards move through the empty streets of
	the village.  They walk behind him, and spread to either
	side about fifteen feet away from him.

	They move down ancient steps, past an old stone fountain.
	MICHAEL hesitates, cups his hands and drinks some water.
	They go on.

	They move up a very narrow old street.  MICHAEL looks at the
	doorways that they pass.

	MOVING VIEW: Each door has a plaque, with a ribbon or flower.

	CALO sees MICHAEL looking.

				CALO
		The names of the dead.

	MICHAEL hesitates in the center of the main street.  He looks.

	The street is empty, barren.  Occasionally, an old woman
	will pass.

	MICHAEL turns his head.

	The other side of the street: empty and deathly.

	A HIGH VIEW of MICHAEL standing in the center of the old
	street, the shepherds a respectful distance away.

	-------------------------------------FADE OUT-----------

	EXT DAY: BARONIAL ESTATE

	A green ribboned field of a baronial Estate.  Further ahead
	is a villa so Roman it looks as though it had just been
	discovered in the ruins of Pompeii.  There is a group of
	young village GIRLS accompanied by two stocky MATRONS,
	dressed in black.  They have been gathering the pink sulla,
	purple wisteria, and mixing them with orange and lemon
	blossoms.  They are singing, off in the distance as they work.

	MICHAEL, CALO and FABRIZZIO are silent as they watch this
	Fantasy-like scene.

				FABRIZZIO
			  (calling out to them)
		Hey, beautiful girls!

				MICHAEL
			  (sternly)
		Shhhhh.

	He settles down to watch.

	The GIRLS are dressed in cheap gaily painted frocks that
	cling to their bodies.  They are still in their teens, but
	developed and womanly.

	They are moving along the fields, picking blossoms, not
	aware of the three men watching them from the orange grove.
	Three or four of the girls begin chasing one of them
	playfully, in the direction of the grove.

	The GIRL being chased holds a bunch of purple grapes in her
	left hand and with the right, picks more grapes, and throws
	them back at her pursuers laughing.

	They come closer and closer.  Just short of the grove, she
	poses, startled, her large, oval shaped eyes catching the
	view of the THREE MEN.  She stands there on her toes about
	to run.

	MICHAEL sees her; now face to face.  He looks.

	Her face.  Incredibly beautiful with olive skin, black hair
	and a rich mouth.

				FABRIZZIO
			  (murmuring)
		Jesus Christ, take my soul.  I'm
		dying.

	Quickly, she turns, and runs away.

	MICHAEL stands up never taking his eyes from her.  We hold
	on him for a long while; and eventually hear the SHEPHERDS
	laughing.  Then he turns to them.

				FABRIZZIO
		You got hit by the thunderbolt, eh?

	CALO pats him on the shoulder.

				CALO
		Easy man.

				MICHAEL
		What are you talking about?

				FABRIZZIO
		You can't hide it when you're hit
		by the thunderbolt.

	EXT DAY: BARONIAL VILLAGE

	The little village built attendant to the Baronial Estate,
	is decked with the flowers the girls had been picking.

	MICHAEL, followed by the bodyguards, moves into the central
	square, and onto the balcony of a little cafe.

	The proprietor of the cafe, VITELLI, is a short burly man;
	he greets them cheerfully, and sets a dish of chickpeas at
	their table.

				FABRIZZIO
		You know all the girls in this
		town, eh?  We saw some beauties
		coming down the road.  One in
		particular got our friend hit with
		the Thunderbolt...
			  (he indicates MICHAEL)

	VITELLI gives a big knowing laugh, and looks at MICHAEL with
	new interest.

				VITELLI
		You had better bring a few bottles
		home with you, my friend; you'll
		need help sleeping tonight.
			  (he laughs)

				FABRIZZIO
		This one could seduce the devil.  A
		body! and eyes as big and black as
		olives.

				VITELLI
			  (laughing with
			  them...pouring more wine)
		I know about what you mean!

				FABRIZZIO
		This was a beauty.  Right, Calo?

				VITELLI
			  (laughing)
		Beautiful all over, eh?

				FABRIZZIO
		And hair.  Black and curly, like a
		doll.  And such a mouth.

	VITELLI does not laugh quite so much.

				VITELLI
		Yes, we have beautiful girls here...
		but virtuous.

	VITELLI is no longer drinking with them.

				MICHAEL
		She wore a red dress, and a red
		ribbon in her hair.  She looks more
		Greek than Italian.  Do you know a
		beauty like that?

	As MICHAEL describes her, VITELLI laughed less and less,
	until he wears a scowl.

				VITELLI
		No.

	Then he curtly leaves him, and walks into the back room.

				FABRIZZIO
		God in Heaven, I think I
		understand...

	He goes into the back room after the innkeeper.  Then he
	returns.

				FABRIZZIO
		Let's get out of here; he's boiling
		up his blood to do us mischief.
		It's his daughter.

	They start to leave; but MICHAEL doesn't move.

				CALO
		Come quickly.

				MICHAEL
		Innkeeper.  More wine!

				FABRIZZIO
			  (whispered)
		The old bastard mentioned two sons
		he only has to whistle up.

	MICHAEL turns to FABRIZZIO with his cold authority.

				MICHAEL
		Tell him to come to me.

	The two BODYGUARDS shoulder their luparas, and disappear in
	a moment they return with the red-faced angry VITELLI
	between them.

				MICHAEL
			  (quietly)
		I understand I've offended you by
		talking about your daughter.  I
		offer you my apologies, I'm a
		stranger in this country, I don't
		know the customs very well.  Let me
		say this, I meant no disrespect to
		you or her...

	CALO and FABRIZZIO are impressed.

				VITELLI
			  (shrugs)
		Who are you and what do you want
		from my daughter?

				MICHAEL
		I am an American hiding in Sicily
		from the police of my country.  My
		name is Michael.  You can inform
		the police and make your fortune
		but then your daughter would lose a
		father rather than gain a husband.
		In any case, I want to meet your
		daughter.  With your permission and
		under the supervision of your
		family.  With all decorum.  With
		all respect.  I am an honorable man.

	CALO and FABRIZZIO are stupefied; VITELLI pauses, and then
	asks:

				VITELLI
		Are you a friend of the friends?

				MICHAEL
		When the proper time comes, I'll
		tell you everything that a wife's
		father should know.

				FABRIZZIO
		It's the real Thunderbolt, then.

				VITELLI
			  (formally)
		Come Sunday morning:  My name is
		Vitelli and my house is up there on
		the hill, above the village.

				MICHAEL
		Your daughter's name?

				VITELLI
		Appolonia.

	-------------------------------------FADE OUT-----------

	EXT DAY: TOMMASSINO COURTYARD

	MUSIC comes up; as MICHAEL, dressed in new clothes from
	Palermo, and carrying a stack of wrapped gifts, gets into an
	Alfa Romeo.  CALO and FABRIZZIO each dressed in their Sunday
	best, are in the rear seat, huddled together, with their
	luparas on their shoulders.

	DON TOMMASSINO waves them off, as the little car drives off,
	rocky and bouncing on the dirt road.

	The Sunday churchbells ring.

	--------------------------------------DISSOLVE----------

	EXT DAY: VITELLI HOUSE

	MICHAEL is presented to each of the Vitelli relatives, by
	the yard of their little hilltop house; the BROTHERS; the
	MOTHER, who is given a gift; several UNCLES and AUNTS.
	Finally APPOLONIA enters, dressed beautifully in appropriate
	Sunday clothing.  Now he presents the wrapped gift to
	APPOLONIA.  She looks at her MOTHER, who with a nod gives
	her permission to open it.  She unwraps it.  Her eyes light
	at the sight of a heavy gold chain; to be worn as a necklace.

	She looks at him.

				APPOLONIA
		Grazia.

	--------------------------------------DISSOLVE----------

	EXT DAY: VITELLI CAFE

	Now the little Alpha drives into the village near VITELLI's
	cafe.

	MICHAEL is, as ever, accompanied with his two BODYGUARDS,
	though they are all dressed differently.

	They go up to the cafe...and sit with VITELLI, who is
	talking and talking.

	MICHAEL looks at APPOLONIA; who sits, respectfully quiet.
	She wears the gold necklace around her neck.

	--------------------------------------DISSOLVE----------

	EXT DAY: HILLTOP NEAR VITELLI HOME

	MICHAEL and APPOLONIA are walking through a hilltop path,
	seemingly alone, although a respectful distance apart.

	As the VIEW PANS with them, we notice that her MOTHER and a
	half dozen AUNTS are twenty paces behind them, and ten paces
	further behind are CALO and FABRIZZIO, their luparas on
	their shoulders.

	Further up the hill, APPOLONIA stumbles on a loose stone,
	and falls briefly onto MICHAEL's arm.  She modestly regains
	her balance, and they continue walking.

	Behind them, her MOTHER giggles to herself.

	--------------------------------------DISSOLVE----------

	EXT DAY: VITELLI VILLAGE CHURCH

	Church bells in an ancient belfry ring out.  Music, old and
	dissonant, plays.

	There is a bridal procession in the street of the village;
	the same in feeling and texture as it might have been five
	hundred years ago.

	Donkeys and other animals have been decorated with abundant
	flowers; children carrying candles and wearing white
	confirmation gowns walk in the procession, followed by
	countless townspeople, members of the clergy, even the police.

	We present the entire bridal procession and ceremony with
	all the ritual and pageantry, as it has always been, in
	Sicily.

	APPOLONIA is radiant as the Bride; MICHAEL is handsome
	despite the grotesque jaw and occasional white handkerchief.

	--------------------------------------DISSOLVE----------

	EXT NITE: VITELLI VILLAGE SQUARE

	CALO and FABRIZZIO dance wildly through the night of the
	great wedding celebration.  It is held in the Village
	Square; under the watchful eyes of SHEPHERDS above on the
	tops of buildings, carrying luparas.

	--------------------------------------DISSOLVE----------

	INT NITE: MICHAEL'S ROOM IN VILLA

	MICHAEL opens the shutters in his darkened room; moonlight
	fills the room.

	He turns, and there, in her wedding slip, is APPOLONIA.  A
	little frightened; but lovely.

	He moves to her; and for a moment just stands before her,
	looking at her incredible face; her lovely hair and body.

	Slowly and tenderly he kisses her.  Her tiny hands come up
	to his face; touch his cheek and embrace him.

	She lets her bridal slip fall to the floor.

	--------------------------------------FADE OUT----------

	INT DAY: MICHAEL'S ROOM AT VILLA

	Morning.  MICHAEL sits on the window ledge, gazing into the
	room.

	APPOLONIA is asleep; she is naked, and only partially
	covered by the bedsheets.

	He looks at her for a long time in the early morning light.

	EXT DAY: TOMMASSINO COURTYARD

	HIGH ANGLE ON DON TOMMASSINO'S VILLA

	We HEAR girlish laughter; the little Alpha is driving
	erratically, knocking down an occasional wall, and almost
	hitting th inner court wall.

	APPOLONIA is laughing, driving.  MICHAEL pretends to be
	frightened, as he teaches her to drive.

	Outside the walls, we notice SHEPHERDS with luparas, walking
	guard duty.

	The car stops and a laughing MICHAEL gets out.

				MICHAEL
		It's safer to teach you English.

				APPOLONIA
		Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
		Thursday, Friday...See, I learned
		it.  Now teach me to drive!

	DON TOMMASSINO enters the Courtyard.  He seems tired and
	concerned.

				MICHAEL
		Ciao, Don Tommassino.

	APPOLONIA kisses him.

				MICHAEL
		Things went badly in Palermo?

				DON TOMMASSINO
		The younger men have no respect.
		Things are changing; I don't know
		what will happen.  Michael, because
		of the wedding, people now know
		your name.

				MICHAEL
		Is that why there are more men on
		the walls?

				DON TOMMASSINO
		Even so, I don't think it is safe
		here anymore.  I've made plans to
		move you to a villa near Siracuse.
		You must go right away.

				MICHAEL
		What is it?

				DON TOMMASSINO
		Bad news from America.  Your
		brother, Santino.  He has been
		killed.

	For a moment, the whole world of New York, Sollozzo, the
	Five Family War, all comes back to MICHAEL.

	EXT DAY: VILLA COURTYARD

	Morning.  MICHAEL leans out of the bedroom window.

	Below, FABRIZZIO is sitting in one of the garden chairs,
	combing his thick hair.

	MICHAEL whistles and FABRIZZIO looks up to his window.

				MICHAEL
		Get the car.  I'll be leaving in
		ten minutes.  Where's Calo?

				FABRIZZIO
		Calo is having a cup of coffee in
		the kitchen.  Is your wife coming
		with you?

				MICHAEL
		No, she's going home to her family.
		She'll join me in a few weeks...

	INT DAY: VILLA KITCHEN

	MICHAEL, dressed, crosses from the hallway, and into the
	kitchen.  CALO is just finishing a bite.  He rises when he
	sees MICHAEL.

				CALO
		Should I get your bag?

				MICHAEL
		No, I'll get it.  Where's Appolonia?

				CALO
			  (smiling)
		She is sitting in the driver's seat
		of the car, dying to step on the
		gas.  She'll be a real American
		woman before she gets to America.

	MICHAEL smiles.

				MICHAEL
		Tell Fabrizzio and wait for me in
		the car.

	He leaves the kitchen, after a quick sip of coffee.

	He looks out from the opening in the doorway.

	EXT DAY: VILLA COURTYARD

	There is the car, with APPOLONIA sitting in the driver's
	seat, playing with the wheel like a child.

	CALO moves to the car, and puts a lunch basket in the rear
	seat.

	Then MICHAEL seems disturbed.

	Over, on the other side of the courtyard, he sees FABRIZZIO
	disappear through the gate.

				MICHAEL
			  (muttering to himself)
		Where the hell is he going?

	MICHAEL goes down the hallway, and outside.

	MICHAEL steps out into the bright sunlight of the outer
	courtyard, causing him to shade his eyes.

	APPOLONIA sees him, and waves, motioning that he should stay
	where he is.

				APPOLONIA
			  (calling out)
		I'll drive to you.

	He smiles affectionately.

	CALO stands beside the car, smiling, with his lupara dangling
	by his side.  There is no sight of FABRIZZIO.  Suddenly the
	smile fades from MICHAEL's face.  He steps forward and holds
	out his hand.

				MICHAEL
		No.  No!

	His shout is drowned in the roar of a tremendous EXPLOSION,
	as she switched on the ignition.

	Part of the wall is caved in, the kitchen door is blown off;
	and there is nothing left of the Alpha, or of Appolonia.

	MICHAEL is thrown against the wall, and knocked unconscious.

	INT DAY: VILLA BEDROOM

	MICHAEL is unconscious in a darkened room.  We hear
	whispering around him, but can't make any of it out.  A soft
	cloth is applied to his face; gradually his eyes open.  DON
	TOMMASSINO is there, close to him.  He looks at them and
	from their grave expressions, he knows his wife is dead.

				MICHAEL
		Fabrizzio.  Let your shepherds know
		that the one who gives me Fabrizzio
		will own the finest pastures in
		Sicily.

	--------------------------------------FADE OUT----------

	FADE IN:

	EXT DAY: MALL (SPRING 1951)

	Easter.

	A HIGH VIEW ON THE CORLEONE MALL in the springtime.  Hordes
	of little CHILDREN including many of the Corleone Children
	and Grandchilren, rush about carrying little Easter baskets,
	searching here and there for candy treasures and hidden
	Easter eggs.

	The DON himself, much older, much smaller in size, wearing
	baggy pants and a plaid shirt and an old hat, moves around
	his garden, tending rows and rows of rich tomato plants.

	Suddenly, he stops and looks.

	MICHAEL stands there, still holding his suitcase.

	Great emotion comes over the DON, who takes a few steps in
	MICHAEL's direction.

	MICHAEL leaves his suitcase and walks to his favorite son
	and embraces him.

				DON CORLEONE
		Be my son...

	INT DAY: THE OLIVE OIL FACTORY

	DON CORLEONE leads MICHAEL through the corridors of the
	building.

				DON CORLEONE
		This old building has seen its day.
		No way to do business...too small,
		too old.

	They enter the DON's glass-panelled office.

				DON CORLEONE
		Have you thought about a wife?  A
		family?

				MICHAEL
			  (pained)
		No.

				DON CORLEONE
		I understand, Michael.  But you
		must make a family, you know.

				MICHAEL
		I want children, I want a family.
		But I don't know when.

				DON CORLEONE
		Accept what's happened, Michael.

				MICHAEL
		I could accept everything that's
		happened; I could accept it, but
		that I never had a choice.  From
		the time I was born, you had laid
		this all out for me.

				DON CORLEONE
		No, I wanted other things for you.

				MICHAEL
		You wanted me to be your son.

				DON CORLEONE
		Yes, but sons who would be
		professors, scientists,
		musicians...and grandchildren who
		could be, who knows, a Governor, a
		President even, nothing's impossible
		here in America.

				MICHAEL
		Then why have I become a man like
		you?

				DON CORLEONE
		You are like me, we refuse to be
		fools, to be puppets dancing on a
		string pulled by other men.  I
		hoped the time for guns and killing
		and massacres was over.  That was
		my misfortune.  That was your
		misfortune.  I was hunted on the
		streets of Corleone when I was
		twelve years old because of who my
		father was.  I had no choice.

				MICHAEL
		A man has to choose what he will be.
		I believe that.

				DON CORLEONE
		What else do you believe in?

	MICHAEL doesn't answer.

				DON CORLEONE
		Believe in a family.  Can you
		believe in your country?  Those
		Pezzonovante of the State who
		decide what we shall do with our
		lives?  Who declare wars they wish
		us to fight in to protect what they
		own.  Do you put your fate in the
		hands of men whose only talent is
		that they tricked a bloc of people
		to vote for them?  Michael, in five
		years the Corleone family can be
		completely legitimate.  Very
		difficult things have to happen to
		make that possible.  I can't do
		them anymore, but you can, if you
		choose to.

	MICHAEL listens.

				DON CORLEONE
		Believe in a family; believe in a
		Code of Honor, older and higher,
		believe in Roots that go back
		thousands of years into your Race.
		Make a family, Michael, and protect
		it.  These are our affairs, sono cosa
		nostra, Governments only protect
		men who have their own individual
		power.  Be one of those men...you
		have the choice.

	--------------------------------------FADE OUT----------

	EXT DAY: STOCK FOOTAGE LAS VEGAS (1955)

	A MOVING VIEW, driving up the Las Vegas Strip of 1955.

				FREDO (O.S.)
		There's a new one.  Construction
		going on everywhere.

	MORE VIEWS, showing new hotels and casinos being built; the
	bill marquees read: "MARTIN AND LEWIS", "PATTI PAGE", etc.

				FREDO (O.S.)
		That's one of the family's new ones.
		Not bad, eh?

	EXT DAY: FLAMINGO (1955)

	The car pulls up at the Flamingo Hotel.

	Inside the car: MICHAEL, FREDO, TOM HAGEN and a new man,
	NERI, quiet and sinister.

				MICHAEL
		Why didn't Moe Green meet us at the
		airport?

				FREDO
		He had business at the hotel, but
		he'll drop in for dinner.

	From the expression on MICHAEL's face we know this is a
	discourtesy.

	INT DAY: FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE (1955)

	A whole entourage precedes FREDO and his V.I.P. party of
	MICHAEL, HAGEN and NERI.  Great fuss is made.  They are
	being shown into the hotel's 'special' suite.

				FREDO
		You look wonderful, kid; really
		wonderful.  That doctor did some
		job on your face.

				MICHAEL
		You look good, too.

	They enter the suite.

				FREDO
		Nice, eh?

	FREDO is as excited as a kid, snapping orders at the
	bellboys, waiters and maids.

				FREDO
			  (hurrying into the bedroom)
		Kid, take a look-see.

	MICHAEL gives a look to HAGEN, and continues into the bedroom.

	There is an enormous circular bed on a huge platform,
	mirrors to each side.  FREDO points upward.

	A VIEW into a large CEILING mirror.

				FREDO
		Ever seen anything like that before?

				MICHAEL
			  (dryly)
		No.

	INT NITE: FLAMINGO SUITE BEDROOM (1955)

	MICHAEL is alone in the bedroom.  He is just finishing
	dressing; he puts on his jacket.  From the window, with the
	lights blinking, we can tell it's late at night.  MICHAEL
	passes into the other room.

	He stops, looks.  He is disturbed.

	INT NITE: FLAMINGO SUITE (1955)

	A magnificent, circular table has been set up in his suite;
	a lavish table setting for eight.  Standing by the table are
	HAGEN, JOHNNY FONTANE, looking wonderful, a little heavier,
	beautifully dressed; FREDO, a dandy, and TWO LAS VEGAS GIRLS.
	NERI stands quietly by the door.

				FREDO
		Mike!  The party starting!

				MICHAEL
		Come here a minute, Fredo.

	FREDO goes to him, a big smile all over his face.

				MICHAEL
		Who are those girls?

				FREDO
			  (jokingly)
		That's for you to find out.

				MICHAEL
		Give them some money and send them
		home.

				FREDO
		Mike!

				MICHAEL
		Get rid of them...

	INT NITE: FLAMINGO SUITE (1955)

	They are seated around the lavish table in Michael's suite.
	MICHAEL is speaking to JOHNNY.

				MICHAEL
		Johnny, the Corleone family is
		thinking of selling out all our
		interests in the Olive Oil business
		and settling here.  Moe Greene will
		sell us his interest so it can be
		wholly owned by friends of the
		family.

	FREDDIE seems anxious.

				FREDO
		Mike, you sure about Moe selling.
		He never mentioned it to me and he
		loves the business.

				MICHAEL
		I'll make him an offer he can't
		refuse.

	MICHAEL turns to JOHNNY.

				MICHAEL
		Johnny, the Don wants you to help
		us get started.  We figure
		entertainment will be the big
		factor in drawing gamblers.  We
		hope you'll sign a contract to
		appear five times a year for maybe
		a week long engagement.
		We hope your friends in the movies
		will do the same.  We count on you
		to convince them.

				JOHNNY
		Sure, I'll do anything for my
		Godfather.  You know that, Mike.

	There is knock on the door.  NERI rises, looks at MICHAEL,
	who nods.  NERI opens the door, and MOE GREENE enters,
	followed by TWO BODYGUARDS.  He is a handsome hood, dressed
	in the Hollywood style.  His BODYGUARDS are more West Coast
	style.

				MOE
		Mike, good to see you.  Got
		everything you want?

				MICHAEL
		Thanks.

				MOE
		The chef cooked for you special;
		the dancers will kick your tongue
		out and you credit is good!
			  (to his BODYGUARDS)
		Draw chips for all these people so
		they can play on the house.

				MICHAEL
		Is my credit good enough to buy you
		out?

	MOE laughs.

				MOE
		Buy me out?...

				MICHAEL
		The hotel, the casino.  The Corleone
		family wants to buy you out.

	GREENE stops laughing; the room becomes tense.  NERI eyes
	the BODYGUARDS.

				MOE
			  (furious)
		The Corleone family wants to buy me
		out.  I buy you out.  You don't buy
		me out.

				MICHAEL
		Your casino loses money.  Maybe we
		can do better.

				MOE
		You think I scam?

				MICHAEL
			  (the worst insult)
		You're unlucky.

				MOE
		You goddamn dagos.  I do you a
		favor and take Freddie in when
		you're having a bad time, and then
		you try to push me out.

				MICHAEL
		You took Freddie in because the
		Corleone family bankrolled your
		casino.  You and the Corleone
		family are evened out.  This is for
		business; name your price.

				MOE
		The Corleone family don't have that
		kind of muscle anymore.  The
		Godfather is sick.  You're getting
		chased out of New York by Barzini
		and the other families, and you
		think you can find easier pickings
		here.  I've talked to Barzini; I
		can make a deal with him and keep
		my hotel!

				MICHAEL
			  (quietly, deadly)
		Is that why you thought you could
		slap Freddie around in public?

				FREDO
			  (his face turns red)
		Ah Mike, that was nothing.  Moe
		didn't mean anything.  He flies off
		the handle sometimes; but me and
		him are good friends.  Right, Moe?

				MOE
		Yeah sure.  Sometimes I gotta kick
		asses to make this place run right.
		Freddie and I had a little argument
		and I had to straighten him out.

				MICHAEL
		You straightened my brother out?

				MOE
		Hell, he was banging cocktail
		waitresses two at a time.  Players
		couldn't get a drink.

	MICHAEL rises from his chair, and says in a tone of dismissal:

				MICHAEL
		I have to go back to New York
		tomorrow.  Think of your price.

				MOE
		You son of a bitch, you think you
		can brush me off like that?  I made
		my bones when you were going out
		with cheerleaders.

				FREDO
			  (frightened)
		Tom, you're the Consigliere; you
		can talk to the Don and advise him.

				MICHAEL
		The Don has semi-retired.  I'm
		running the Family business now.
		So anything you have to say, say it
		to me.

	Nobody answers.  MICHAEL nods to NERI, who opens the door.
	MOE exits angrily.

				MICHAEL
		Freddie, you're my older brother.
		I love you.  But don't ever take
		sides with anybody against the
		Family again.

	EXT DAY: N.Y. AIRPORT (1955)

	KAY sits in the back of a limousine parked by the Newark
	AIRPORT.  ROCCO LAMPONE is leaning against it.

	She has a little three year old boy; MICHAEL's son, who
	plays with a cardboard bird on a string.

	Two other cars are stationed discreetly, with men we have
	learned to tell are bodyguards.

	MICHAEL, HAGEN and NERI exit the airport with TWO NEGRO
	PORTERS carrying luggage.

	NERI sees something, and taps MICHAEL on the shoulder.

	MICHAEL turns, and sees KAY.

	LAMPONE opens the car door; KAY steps out with the BOY, and
	MICHAEL embraces her, and kisses his son.  Automatically,
	the luggage is put in.  NERI replaces LAMPONE as the driver;
	and LAMPONE joins the other men.  HAGEN gets into one of the
	other cars.

	And the limo drives off, preceded and followed by the other
	sedans.

	INT DAY: LIMO (1955)

	The little BOY looks out the window as they drive.

				MICHAEL
		I have to see my father and his
		people when we get back to the Mall.

				KAY
		Oh Michael.

				MICHAEL
		We'll go to the show tomorrow
		night--we can change the tickets.

				KAY
		Don't you want dinner first?

				MICHAEL
		No, you eat...don't wait up for me.

				KAY
		Wake me up when you come to bed?

	The little BOY flies his cardboard bird out of the speeding
	limousine window.

	EXT DAY: MALL (1955)

	The limousine arrives at the Mall.  We are inside.

				KAY
		Your sister wants to ask you
		something.

				MICHAEL
		Let HER ask.

	NERI opens the door.  KAY wants to talk just a little more.

				KAY
		She's afraid to.  Michael...

	MICHAEL nods to NERI; who gives them their privacy a moment
	longer.

				KAY
		Why are you so cold to her and
		Carlo?  They live with us on the
		Mall now, but you never get close
		to them.

				MICHAEL
		I'm busy.

				KAY
		Connie and Carlo want you to be
		godfather to their little boy.

	NERI opens the door; MICHAEL starts to get out; KAY too.

	He smiles at her, tired, and a little sad.

				KAY
		Will you?

				MICHAEL
		Let me think about it, O.K.?

	She smiles; MICHAEL goes with NERI to the Main House; KAY
	and the little BOY move to the house that was Sonny's.

	INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (1955)

	VIEW ON DON CORLEONE, much older, much smaller in size.  He
	wears baggy pants, and a warm plaid shirt.  He sits in a
	chair, gazing out through the window, into the garden.

				TESSIO (O.S.)
		Barzini's people chisel my territory
		and we do nothing about it.  Pretty
		soon there won't be one place in
		Brooklyn I can hang my hat.

				MICHAEL (O.S.)
		Just be patient.

				TESSIO
		I'm not asking you for help, Mike.
		Just take off the handcuffs.

				MICHAEL (O.S.)
		Be patient.

				CLEMENZA (O.S.)
		We gotta fight sometime.  Let us at
		least recruit our regimes to full
		strength.

				MICHAEL (O.S.)
		No, I don't want to give Barzini an
		excuse to start fighting.

				TESSIO (O.S.)
		Mike, you're wrong.

				CLEMENZA (O.S.)
		Don Corleone...Don Corleone.

	The OLD MAN looks up.  CLEMENZA stand before him in the Den.
	Beside him is an anxious TESSIO.  NERI stands by the door;
	HAGEN is seated; MICHAEL sits behind the big desk.

				CLEMENZA
		You said there would come a day
		when Tessio and me could form our
		own Families.  Only with your
		benediction, of course.  I ask
		permission...

				DON CORLEONE
		My son is head of the Family now.
		If you have his permission, you
		have my good will.

				MICHAEL
		In six months you can break off
		from the Corleone Family and go on
		your own.  Carlo, I'm counting on
		you to make the move to Nevada;
		you'll be my right-hand man out
		there.  Tom Hagen is no longer the
		Consigliere.

	Everyone is a bit surprised; look to see HAGEN's reaction.
	He remains inexpressive.

				MICHAEL
		He's going to be our lawyer in
		Vegas.  Nobody goes to him with any
		other business as of now, this
		minute.  No reflection on Tom;
		that's the way I want it.  Besides,
		if I ever need any advice, who's a
		better Consigliere than my father.

				CLEMENZA
		Then in a six month time we're on
		our own; is that it?

				MICHAEL
		Maybe less...

				TESSIO
		Let us fill up our Regimes.

				MICHAEL
		No.  I want things very calm for
		another six months.

				TESSIO
		Forgive me, Godfather, let our
		years of friendship be my excuse.
		How can you hope for success there
		without your strength here to back
		you up?  The two  go hand in hand.
		And with you gone from here the
		Barzini and the Tattaglias will be
		too strong for us.

				CLEMENZA
		And I don't like Barzini.  I say
		the Corleone Family has to move
		from strength, not weakness.  We
		should build our Regimes and take
		back our lost territories in Staten
		Island, at least.

				DON CORLEONE
		Do you have faith in my judgement?

				CLEMENZA
		Yes, Godfather...

				DON CORLEONE
		Then do what Michael says...

				MICHAEL
		All I can say is that things are
		being resolved that are more
		effective than a thousand buttonmen
		on the streets.  Understood?

	There are uneasy looks all around.

				CARLO
		Understood.  I just wish I was
		doing more to help out.

				MICHAEL
		I'll come to you when I need you.

	He looks at CLEMENZA, TESSIO and HAGEN.  They all nod,
	reluctantly.

				MICHAEL
		All right, then it's resolved.

	NERI knows the meeting is over, he opens the Den's door.

	CLEMENZA and TESSIO pay their respects to the DON and leave,
	then CARLO.  NERI watches CARLO as he walks down the
	corridor, casting a nervous look back at the sinister man.

	Then NERI closes the door.

	MICHAEL relaxes.

				HAGEN
		Mike, why are you cutting me out of
		the action?

				MICHAEL
		Tom, we're going to be legitimate
		all the way, and you're the legal
		man.  What could be more important
		than that.

				HAGEN
		I'm not talking about that.  I'm
		talking about Rocco Lampone building
		a secret regime.  Why does Neri
		report directly to you, rather than
		through me or a caporegime?

				DON CORLEONE
		I told you that it wouldn't escape
		his eye.

				MICHAEL
		How did you find out?

				HAGEN
		Bookkeepers know everything.
		Rocco's men are all a little too
		good for the jobs they're supposed
		to be doing.  They get a little
		more money than the job's worth.
			  (pause)
		Lampone's a good man; he's operating
		perfectly.

				MICHAEL
		Not so perfectly if you noticed.

				HAGEN
		Mike, why am I out?

				MICHAEL
		You're not a wartime Consigliere.
		Things may get tough with the move
		we're trying.

				HAGEN
		OK, but then I agree with Tessio.
		You're going about it all wrong;
		you're making the move out of
		weakness... Barzini's a wolf, and
		if he tears you apart, the other
		families won't come running to help
		the Corleones...

				DON CORLEONE
		Tom, I never thought you were a bad
		Consigliere, I thought Santino a
		bad Don, rest in peace.  He had a
		good heart but he wasn't the right
		man to head the family when I had
		my misfortune.  Michael has all my
		confidence, as you do.  For reasons
		which you can't know, you must have
		no part in what will happen.

				HAGEN
		Maybe I can help.

				MICHAEL
			  (coldly)
		You're out, Tom.

	TOM pauses, thinks...and then he nods in acquiescence.  TOM
	leaves.

	MICHAEL looks at NERI.

				MICHAEL
		I'm going to talk to my father.

	NERI nods, and then leaves.  The DON opens the doors,
	breathes in the air, and steps outside.

	EXT DAY: THE GARDEN (1955)

				DON CORLEONE
		I see you have your Luca Brasi.

				MICHAEL
		I'll need him.

				DON CORLEONE
		There are men in this world who
		demand to be killed.  They argue in
		gambling games; they jump out of
		their cars in a rage if someone so
		much as scratches their fender.
		These people wander through the
		streets calling out "Kill me, kill
		me."  Luca Brasi was like that.
		And since he wasn't scared of
		death, and in fact, looked for
		it...I made him my weapon.  Because
		I was the only person in the world
		that he truly hoped would not kill
		him.  I think you have done the
		same with this man.

	They walk through the DON's vegetable garden.  Tomatoes,
	peppers, carefully tended, and covered with a silky netting.
	MICHAEL follows; the DON turns and looks at him.  Then
	stoops over to right a tomato plant that had been pushed over.

				DON CORLEONE
		Barzini will move against you first.

				MICHAEL
		How?

				DON CORLEONE
		He will get in touch with you
		through someone you absolutely
		trust.  That person will arrange a
		meeting, guarantee your safety...

	He rises, and looks at Michael...

				DON CORLEONE
		...and at that meeting you will be
		assassinated.

	The DON walks on further.

				DON CORLEONE
		Your wife and children...you're
		happy with them?

				MICHAEL
		Yes.

				DON CORLEONE
		Good.

	MICHAEL wants to express something...hesitates, then:

				MICHAEL
		I've always respected you...

	A long silence.  The DON smiles at MICHAEL.

				DON CORLEONE
		And I...you.

	EXT DAY: CHURCH (1955)

	KAY and MAMA walking from the black car that has just left
	them off.

				KAY
		How is your husband feeling?

				MAMA
		He's not the same since they shot
		him.  He lets Michael do all the
		work.  He just plays the fool with
		his garden, his peppers, his
		tomatoes, as if he was some peasant
		still.  But men are like that...

	She stops toward the Church.

				MAMA
		You come in, too.

	KAY shakes her head.

				MAMA
		The Priest ain't gonna bite you
		cause you're not Catholic.
			  (whispered)
		He's in the back drinkin' his wine.

	KAY laughs and follows MAMA up the steps of the Church.
	They enter.

	INT DAY: CHURCH (1955)

	Inside the Church, KAY watches as MAMA blesses herself from
	the holy water.

				MAMA
		You can.

	Tentatively, KAY dips her fingers into the water, and
	blesses herself.  Then SHE follows MAMA down the aisle, in
	awe at the high ceiling, the art, the windows, and finally
	the Altar.

	MAMA stops by the impressive tiers of candles.  There is a
	large coin box for those who wish to pay for lighting
	candles.  MAMA fumbles in her purse for change; KAY gives
	her some.

	MAMA drops the coins in the box, one by one; then takes the
	taper, and in a pattern known only to her, and with great
	dignity, she closes her eyes, says a prayer, and then lights
	twenty candles.

	She finishes, and bows her head.

	EXT DAY: BONASERA'S FUNERAL HOME

	Very few people in the streets.  TOTAL SILENCE.  But black
	flower cars as far as the eye can see, for blocks and blocks.
	An expression of respect, of honor and fear that is enormous.
	Certainly no more could be done for a President or a King.

	Each car carries an elaborate floral decoration.  We show
	these in detail; and the flowered messages: "A Benefactor to
	Mankind", "He Knew and Pitied"..."Our Don Our Leader"..."The
	Sacred Heart"...

	EXT DAY: MALL (1955)

	HIGH ANGLE ON THE CORLEONE MALL

	Silence.

	The flower cars, funeral limousines, and private cars fill
	all the areas attendant to the Corleone residence.

	Hundreds of people fill the Mall, reminiscent in size of the
	wedding of Connie and Carlo; of course, now the mood is
	somber and respectful.

	MICHAEL, MAMA, FREDO and HAGEN stand by the flowered platform
	which holds the ornate coffin.  We cannot see the remains of
	Don Corleone.

	BONASERA is nearby, ready to do service to the bereaved
	family.  One by one the mourners come by, weeping, or merely
	with grave expressions; pay their respects and continue on.

	The VIEW ALTERS,

	and we see that the line is endless.  JOHNNY FONTANE, tears
	openly falling, takes his turn.

	Children are taken by the hand, and lifted for their last
	look at the great man.

	CLEMENZA whispers into the ear of LAMPONE.  LAMPONE
	immediately arranges for the members of the Five New York
	Families to pay their respects.

	First CUNEO, then STRACHI and then ZALUCHI.  Then PHILIP
	TATTAGLIA, who merely passes by the Coffin.

	Then BARZINI in a black homburg, standing a long time.

	MICHAEL watches the scene.

	BARZINI crosses himself and passes on, immediately rejoined
	by his men.

	As BARZINI leaves, it seems as though everyone is fawning on
	him; perhaps asking for favors: But at any rate, it is clear
	from the doors opened for him, the cigars lit for him, that
	he is the new Capo di Capi--the place formerly held by Don
	Corleone.

	MICHAEL watches silently.

	BARZINI is searching for somebody with his eyes.  First
	CLEMENZA.  Then TESSIO.

	CONNIE rushes into MICHAEL's arms, tears in her eyes.  He
	embraces and comforts her.

	Everywhere MICHAEL goes, NERI is a few feet away--watching
	all who come close to him.

	EXT DAY: MALL (LATER)

	Later on the Mall; some people have left, although there are
	still hundreds of mourners.

	A young GIRL approaches TESSIO.  She's about 18.

				GIRL
		Do you remember me?

				TESSIO
		No...

				GIRL
		We danced together at Connie's
		wedding.

	TESSIO makes a gesture, which is to say 'How you've grown',
	and they move though the crowd, looking for Michael.  He
	finds him.

				TESSIO
		Mike, could I have a minute?

	MIKE; nods; and they move to a private place.  NERI is close
	by.

				TESSIO
		Barzini wants to arrange a meeting.
		Says we can straighten any of our
		problems out.

				MICHAEL
		He talked to you?

				TESSIO
			  (nods)
		I can arrange security.

	MICHAEL looks at him.

	EXT DAY: CEMETERY (1955)

	The Cemetery.  Late day.

	The hundreds of cars, limousines and flower cars line the
	stone wall that surrounds this Italian-Catholic cemetary in
	Queens Village.

	Hundreds of people stand in a cluster; others watch; take
	pictures, etc.

	MICHAEL stands with his family, his MOTHER...and TOM HAGEN.

				MICHAEL
			  (softly)
		Christ, Tom; I needed more time
		with him.  I really needed him.

				HAGEN
		Did he give you his politicians?

				MICHAEL
		Not all...I needed another four
		months and I would have had them
		all.
			  (he looks at TOM)
		I guess you've figured it all out?

				HAGEN
		How will they come at you?

				MICHAEL
		I know now.
			  (a passion wells up
			  inside of MICHAEL)
		I'll make them call me Don.

				HAGEN
		Have you agreed on a meeting?

				MICHAEL
			  (nods)
		A week from tonight.  In Brooklyn
		on Tessio's ground, where I'll be
		safe.

	HAGEN looks at him; understands.

				MICHAEL
		But after the Baptism.  I've
		decided to stand as godfather to
		Connie's baby.

	They look up.

	The coffin is lowered into an excavation, behind which
	stands an enormous stone monument; it is of a weeping angel,
	with the bold inscription: CORLEONE.

	---------------------------------------FADE OUT---------

	FADE IN:

	INT DAY: NERI'S APT. (1955)

	ALBERT NERI moves around in his small Corona Apartment; he
	pulls a small trunk from under his bed.  He opens it, and we
	see in it, nearly folded, a New York City Policeman's
	uniform.  He takes it out piece by piece, almost reverently.
	Then the badge, and the identification card; with his
	picture on it.  Slowly, in the solitude of his room, he
	begins to dress.

	INT DAY: MICHAEL'S BEDROOM (1955)

	MICHAEL and KAY are getting dressed for the christening in
	their room.  MICHAEL looks very well; very calm; KAY is
	beginning to take on a matronly look.

	INT DAY: MOTEL ROOM (1955)

	In a Long Island motel.

	ROCCO LAMPONE carefully disassembles a revolver; oils it,
	checks it, and puts it back together.

	EXT DAY: CLEMENZA'S HOUSE (1955)

	PETER CLEMENZA about to get in his Lincoln.  He hesitates,
	takes a rag and cleans some dirt off of the fender, and then
	gets in, drives off.

	EXT DAY: CHURCH (1955)

	The Church.

	Various relatives and friends are beginning to gather at the
	Church.  They laugh and talk.  A MONSIGNOR is officiating.
	Not all of the participants have arrived yet.

	CONNIE is there, with a beaming CARLO.  She holds the
	infant; showing him off to interested people.

	EXT DAY: U.N. PLAZA (1955)

	NERI walks down the sidewalk in the neighborhood of the UN
	Building.  He is dressed as, and has the bearing of, a
	policeman.  He carries a huge flashlight.

	EXT DAY: MOTEL BALCONY (1955)

	LAMPONE steps out onto the little balcony of a Sea-Resort
	Motel; We can see the bright, neon lit sign advertising
	"ROOMS FACING THE SEA--VACANY".

	INT DAY: CHURCH

	The Church.

	CONNIE holds the baby; the MONSIGNOR is speaking; KAY and
	MICHAEL stand side by side around the urn.

				PRIEST
			  (to MICHAEL)
		Do you pledge to guide and protect
		this child if he is left fatherless?
		Do you promise to shield him
		against the wickedness of the world?

				MICHAEL
		Yes, I promise.

	EXT DAY: FIFTH AVE.

	NERI continues up the 55th St. and Fifth Avenue area.  He
	continues until he is in front of Rockefeller Center.  On
	his side of the street, he spots a limousine waiting directly
	across from the main entrance of the building.  Slowly he
	approaches the limo, and taps on its fender with his
	nightstick.

	The DRIVER looks up in surprise.

	NERI points to the "No Parking" sign.

	The DRIVER turns his head away.

				NERI
		OK, wise guy, you wanna summons, or
		you wanna move?

				DRIVER
			  (obviously a hood)
		You better check with your precinct.

				NERI
		Move it!

	The DRIVER takes a ten dollar bill, folds it deliberately,
	and hands it out the window, trying to put it under NERI's
	jacket.

	NERI backs up, letting the bill fall onto the street.  Then
	he crooks a finger at the DRIVER.

				NERI
		Let me see you license and
		registration.

	EXT DAY: MOTEL BALCONY

	LAMPONE on the motel balcony spots a Cadillac pulling up.
	It parks.  A young, pretty GIRL gets out.  Quickly, he
	returns into the room.

	INT DAY: HOTEL STAIRS (1955)

	CLEMENZA is climbing the back stairs of a large hotel.  He
	rounds the corner, puffs a little, and then continues upward.

	INT DAY: CHURCH

	The Church.  Close on the PRIEST's fingers as he gently
	applies oil to the infant's ears and nostrils.

				PRIEST
		Ephetha...be opened...So you may
		perceive the fragrance of God's
		sweetness.

	EXT DAY: ROCKEFELLER CENTER (1955)

	The DRIVER of the limousine in front of Rockefeller Center
	is arguing with NERI.

	Now the DRIVER looks up.

	WHAT HE SEES:

	TWO MEN in topcoats exit the building, through the revolving
	glass doors.

	NERI opens up fire, trapping BARZINI in the shattering glass
	doors.  The doors still rotate, moving the dead body of
	BARZINI within them.

	INT DAY: CHURCH

	In the Church--the VIEW on MICHAEL.  The PRIEST hands him
	the infant.

				PRIEST
		Do you renounce Satan.

				MICHAEL
		I do renounce him.

				PRIEST
		And all his works?

				MICHAEL
		I do renounce them.

	INT DAY: MOTEL MURDER (1955)

	LAMPONE, backed up by two other MEN in his regime, runs down
	the iron-rail steps, and kicks in the door on Room 7F.
	PHILIP TATTAGLIA, old and wizened and naked, leaps up; a
	semi-nude young GIRL leans up.

	They are riddled with gunfire.

	INT DAY: HOTEL STAIRS (1955)

	CLEMENZA, huffing and puffing, climbs the back stairs, with
	his package.

	INT DAY: CHURCH

	The PRIEST pours water over the forehead of the infant
	MICHAEL holds.

				PRIEST
		Do you wish to be baptized?

				MICHAEL
		I do wish to be baptized.

	INT DAY: HOTEL ELEVATOR MURDER (1955)

	CLEMENZA, out of breath, climbs the final few steps.

	He walks through some glass doors, and moves to an ornate
	elevator waiting shaft.

	The lights indicate the elevator has arrived.

	The doors open, and we see a surprised CUNEO standing with
	the dapper MOE GREENE.

	CLEMENZA fires into the small elevator with a shotgun.

	The PRIEST hands a lighted candle to MICHAEL.

				PRIEST
		I christen you Michael Francis Rizzi.

	Flash bulbs go off.  Everyone is smiles, and crowds around
	MICHAEL, KAY, CONNIE...and CARLO.

	--------------------------------------FADE OUT----------

	EXT DAY: CHURCH (1955)

	The christening party outside the Church.

	Four or five limousines have been waiting; now pull up to
	receive MAMA, CONNIE and the baby; and the others.

	Everyone is very happy; only MICHAEL seems aloof and grave.

	As the fuss is going on, a car pulls up.  LAMPONE gets out
	and works his way to MICHAEL.  He whispers in his ear.  This
	is the news MICHAEL has been waiting for.

	CONNIE holds the baby up to MICHAEL.

				CONNIE
		Kiss your Godfather.

	The infant turns its head, and MICHAEL uses that as an
	excuse to back away.

				MICHAEL
		Carlo...we've had a change in the
		plans.  Mama, Connie, Kay and the
		kids will have to take the trip out
		to Vegas without us.

				CONNIE
		Oh Mike, it's our first vacation
		together.

				CARLO
			  (anxious to please)
		Jesus, Connie...Sure, Mike...

				MICHAEL
		Go back to your house and wait for
		me...

	He kisses KAY.

				MICHAEL
			  (to KAY)
		I'll just be a couple of days...

	People are guided to the correct limousines; they start to
	drive off.

	INT DAY: DON'S KITCHEN

	TESSIO sits in the Kitchen of the Main House on the Mall.

	HAGEN enters.

				HAGEN
		You'd better make your call to
		Barzini; Michael's ready.

	TESSIO nods; moves to the telephone and dials a number.

				TESSIO
		We're on our way to Brooklyn.

	He hangs up and smiles.

				TESSIO
		I hope Mike can get us a good deal
		tonight.

				HAGEN
			  (gravely)
		I'm sure he will.

	EXT DAY: MALL (1955)

	The TWO MEN walk out onto the Mall, toward a car.  On their
	way they are stopped by TWO BODYGUARDS.

				BUTTON MAN
		The boss says he'll come in a
		separate car.  He says for you two
		to go on ahead.

				TESSIO
			  (frowning)
		Hell, he can't do that.  It screws
		up all my arrangements.

	THREE MORE BODYGUARDS appear around him.

				HAGEN
			  (gently)
		I can't go with you either, Tessio.

	He flashes at the men surrounding him; for a moment he
	panics, and then he accepts it.

				TESSIO
			  (after the pause)
		Tell Mike it was business...I
		always liked him.

				HAGEN
		He understands that.

	TESSIO looks at the men, and then pauses.

				TESSIO
			  (softly)
		Tom, can you get me off the hook?
		For old times' sake?

				HAGEN
		I can't.

	HAGEN turns, and walks away from the group.  Then about
	twenty paces away, he stops, and looks back.

	TESSIO is led into a waiting car.

	HAGEN looks away, and walks off.

	INT DAY: CARLO'S LIVING ROOM (1955)

	CARLO RIZZI is alone in his house, smoking, waiting rather
	nervously.  He moves to the window and looks out.

	WHAT HE SEES:

	EXT DAY: MALL (1955)

	MICHAEL, still dressed in a dark suit; followed by NERI,
	LAMPONE and CLEMENZA, then HAGEN.

	They move toward us.

	Excitedly, CARLO moves to the front door; opens it.

	He wears a broad smile.

				CARLO
		Godfather!

				MICHAEL
		You have to answer for Santino.

	The smile on CARLO's face slowly fades, then, in a foolish
	attempt for safety, he slams the door in their faces and
	backs into the living room.

	INT DAY: CARLO'S LIVING ROOM (1955)

	The door opens, and the grim party enters.

				MICHAEL
		You fingered Sonny for the Barzini
		people.  That little farce you
		played out with my sister.  Did
		Barzini kid you that would fool a
		Corleone?

				CARLO
			  (dignity)
		I swear I'm innocent.  I swear on
		the head of my children, I'm
		innocent.  Mike, don't do this to
		me, please Mike, don't do this to me!

				MICHAEL
			  (quietly)
		Barzini is dead.  So is Philip
		Tattaglia, so are Strachi, Cuneo
		and Moe Greene...I want to square
		all the family accounts tonight.
		So don't tell me you're innocent;
		admit what you did.

	CARLO is silent; he wants to talk but is terrified.

				MICHAEL
			  (almost kindly)
		Don't be frightened.  Do you think
		I'd make my sister a widow?  Do you
		think I'd make your children
		fatherless?  After all, I'm
		Godfather to your son.  No, your
		punishment is that you're out of
		the family business.  I'm putting
		you on a plane to Vegas--and I want
		you to stay there.  I'll send
		Connie an allowance, that's all.
		But don't keep saying you're
		innocent; it insults my intelligence
		and makes me angry.  Who approached
		you, Tattaglia or Barzini?

				CARLO
			  (sees his way out)
		Barzini.

				MICHAEL
			  (softly)
		Good, good.  Leave now; there's a
		car waiting to take you to the
		airport.

	CARLO moves to the door; opens it.  There is a car waiting;
	with a group of MEN around it.

	He looks back at MICHAEL, who reassures him.

				MICHAEL
		I'll call your wife and tell her
		what flight you're on.

	EXT DAY: MALL

	CARLO moves out to the Mall; the BUTTONMEN are putting his
	things in the trunk.

	ONE opens the front door for him.

	SOMEONE is sitting in the rear seat, though we cannot see who.

	CARLO gets into the car; out of nervousness, he looks back
	to see the other man.

	It is CLEMENZA, who nods cordially.

	The motor starts, and as the car pulls away, CLEMENZA
	suddenly throws the garrote around CARLO's neck.  He chokes
	and leaps up like a fish on a line, kicking his feet.

	The garrote is pulled tighter; CARLO's face turns color.

	His thrashing feet kick right through the front windshield.

	Then the body goes slack.

	CLEMENZA makes a foul face, and opens the window as the car
	drives off.

	EXT DAY: CARLO'S STEPS (1955)

	MICHAEL and his party.  They watch.

	Then he turns and walks off, and they follow.

	---------------------------------------FADE OUT---------

	FADE IN:

	INT NITE: MICHAEL'S LIMO EN ROUTE (1955)

	MICHAEL sits alone in the back of his car; NERI is driving.

	They do not speak for a long time; it is night--car lights
	flash by.

	NERI turns back.

				NERI
		You know I would never question
		anything you say.

				MICHAEL
			  (smiles)
		Speak your mind.

				NERI
		I'll do this for you; you know I
		should.

				MICHAEL
		No.  This I have to do.

	EXT NITE: PIZZA STREET (1955)

	MICHAEL's car pulls up in a quiet neighborhood, near an
	Italian Pizzeria.  NERI opens the door.

				MICHAEL
		Sit in the car.

	INT NITE: PIZZA PLACE (1955)

	He walks alone into the restaurant.  A MAN is tossing pizza
	dough in the air.

				MICHAEL
		Where's the boss?

				MAN
		In the back.  Hey Frank, someone
		wants you.

	A MAN comes out of the shadows, with a strong Italian accent.

				MAN
		What is it?

	He stops, frozen in fear.  It is FABRIZZIO.

	VIEW ON MICHAEL.  Gunfire from under his coat.  FABRIZZIO is
	cut down.  MICHAEL throws the gun down; turns and exits.

	EXT DAY: MALL (1955)

	HIGH ANGLE ON THE CORLEONE MALL

	Several moving vans are parked in the Mall; one feels that
	these are the final days; the families are moving out; signs
	indicating that the property is for sale are evident.

	A black limousine pulls up, and before it has even stopped,
	the rear door flies open, and CONNIE attempts to run out,
	restrained by MAMA.  She manages to break free and runs
	across the Mall into Michael's house.

	INT DAY: DON'S LIVING ROOM (1955)

	Inside the Corleone house.  Big boxes have been packed;
	furniture prepared for shipping.

				CONNIE
		Michael!

	She hurries into the living room, where she comes upon
	MICHAEL and KAY.

				KAY
			  (comforting)
		Connie...

	But CONNIE avoids her, and moves directly to MICHAEL.  NERI
	is watchful.

				CONNIE
		You lousy bastard; you killed my
		husband...

				KAY
		Connie...

				CONNIE
		You waited until our father died
		and nobody could stop you and you
		killed him, you killed him!  You
		blamed him about Sonny, you always
		did, everybody did.  But you never
		thought about me, never gave a damn
		about me.
			  (crying)
		What am I going to do now, what am
		I going to do.

	TWO of Michael's BODYGUARDS move closer, ready for orders
	from him.  But he stands there, waiting for his sister to
	finish.

				KAY
		Connie, how could you say such
		things?

				CONNIE
		Why do you think he kept Carlo on
		the Mall?  All the time he knew he
		was going to kill my husband.  But
		he didn't dare while my father was
		alive.  And then he stood Godfather
		to our child.  That coldhearted
		bastard.
			  (to KAY)
		And do you know how many men he had
		killed with Carlo?  Just read the
		papers.  That's your husband.

	She tries to spit into MICHAEL's face; but in her hysteria
	she has no saliva.

				MICHAEL
		Get her home and get a doctor.

	The TWO BODYGUARDS immediately take her arms and move her,
	gently but firmly.

	KAY is shocked; never taking her look of amazement from
	MICHAEL.  He feels her look.

				MICHAEL
		She's hysterical.

	But KAY won't let him avoid her eyes.

				KAY
		Michael, it's not true.  Please
		tell me.

				MICHAEL
		Don't ask me.

				KAY
		Tell me!

				MICHAEL
		All right, this one time I'll let
		you ask about my affairs, one last
		time.

				KAY
		Is it true?

	She looks directly into his eyes, he returns the look, so
	directly that we know he will tell the truth.

				MICHAEL
			  (after a very long pause)
		No.

	KAY is relieved; she throws her arms around him, and hugs
	him.  Then she kisses him.

				KAY
			  (through her tears)
		We both need a drink.

	INT DAY: DON'S KITCHEN (1955)

	She moves back into the kitchen and begins to prepare the
	drinks.  From her vantage point, as she smilingly makes the
	drinks, she sees CLEMENZA, NERI and ROCCO LAMPONE enter the
	house with their BODYGUARDS.

	She watches with curiosity, as MICHAEL stands to receive
	them.  He stands arrogantly at ease, weight resting on one
	foot slightly behind the other.  One hand on his hip, like a
	Roman Emperor.  The CAPOREGIMES stand before him.

	CLEMENZA takes MICHAEL's hand, kissing it.

				CLEMENZA
		Don Corleone...

	The smile fades from KAY's face, as she looks at what her
	husband has become.

	INT DAY: CHURCH (1955)

	KAY wears a shawl over her hand.  She drops many coins in
	the coin box, and lifts a burning taper, and one by one, in
	a pattern known only to herself, lights thirty candles.

					THE END

Ice Age

2017-01-13 17:27:04 UTC

Why not call it the Big Chill or the Nippy era?

            I'm just sayin', how do we know it's an ice age?

            Because of all the ice.

            Well, things just got a little chillier.

            Help. Help.

            Come on, kids, let's go. The traffic's movin'.

            But, but, but, Dad.

            No buts. You can play extinction later.

            OK. Come on, guys.

            So, where's Eddie?

            He said he was on the verge of an evolutionary breakthrough.

            Really?

            I'm flying.

            Some breakthrough.

            - Look out. - You're going the wrong way.

            Crazy mammoth.

            Do the world a favor. Move your issues off the road.

            If my trunk was that small, I wouldn't draw attention to myself, pal.

            Give me a break. We've been waddlin' all day.

            Go ahead. Follow the crowd.

            It'll be quieter when you're gone.

            Come on. If he wants to freeze to death, let him.

            I'm up. I'm up.

            Rise and shine, everybody. Huh? Zak? Marshall?

            Bertie? Uncle Fungus?

            Where is everybody? Come on, guys, we're gonna miss the migration.

            They left without me. They do this every year.

            Why? Doesn't anyone love me?

            Isn't there anyone who cares about Sid the Sloth?

            All right, I'll just go by myself.

            Sick.

            Wide body, curb it next time.

            Oh, jeez. Yuck.

            I can't believe it. Fresh wild greens. Frank, where did you ever...?

            - Go ahead. Dig in. - A dandelion.

            - I thought the frost wiped 'em all out. - All but one.

            It makes me so... I wanna... Yuck.

            This has definitely not been my day. You know what I'm sayin', buddy?

            What a mess. You rhinos have tiny brains. Did you know that?

            It's just a fact. No offense. You probably didn't even know what I'm talkin' about.

            Yummo.

             A dandelion. Must be the last one of the season.

              - Carl. - Easy, Frank.

              He ruined our salad.

              My mistake. That was my mistake. Let me...

              No, no, seriously, let me take care of this. What is this?

              Pine cones. Oh, my goodness. They're my favorite.

              Delicious. That's good eating.

              But don't let me hog them all up. Here, you have some.

              Tasty, isn't it? "Bon appétit."

              Now?

              Now.

              - Just pretend that I'm not here. - I wanted to hit him at full speed.

              - That's OK. We'll have some fun with him. - Don't let them impale me. I wanna live.

              - Get off me. - Come on, you're makin' a scene.

              We'll just take our furry piņata and go.

              If it's not them today, it's someone else tomorrow.

              Well, I'd rather it not be today. OK?

              We'll break your neck so you don't feel a thing.

              Wait a minute. I thought rhinos were vegetarians.

              - An excellent point. - Shut up.

              Who says we're gonna eat him after we kill him?

              I don't like animals that kill for pleasure.

              - Save it for a mammal that cares. - I'm a mammal that cares.

              OK, if either of you make it across that sinkhole in front of ya, you get the sloth.

              That's right, you losers. You take one step and you're dead.

              - You were bluffing, huh? - Yeah. Yeah, that was a bluff.

              Get him.

              A dandelion?

              We did it.

              - You have beautiful eyes. - Get off my face.

              Whoa, we make a great team. What do you say we head south together?

              Great. Jump on my back and relax the whole way.

              - Wow, really? - No.

              Wait, aren't you going south? The change of seasons, migration instincts.

              - Any of this a-ringin' a bell? - I guess not. Bye.

              OK, then. Thanks for the help. I can take it from here.

              You overgrown weasel. Wait till we get down there.

              That south thing is way overrated. The heat, the crowds - who needs it?

              Isn't this great? You and me, two bachelors knockin' about in the wild.

              No, you just want a bodyguard so you don't become somebody's side dish.

              You're a very shrewd mammal.

              OK, lead the way, Mr Big... Didn't get the name.

              - Manfred. - Manfred? Yuck.

              How about Manny the Moody Mammoth? Or Manny the Melancholy... Manny the...

              Stop following me.

              OK, so you've got issues. You won't even know I'm here. I'll just zip the lip.

              Look at the cute little baby, Diego.

              - Isn't it nice he'll be joining us for breakfast? - It wouldn't be breakfast without him.

              Especially since his daddy wiped out half our pack and wears our skin to keep warm.

              An eye for an eye, don't you think?

              Let's show him what happens when he messes with sabers.

              Alert the troops. We attack at dawn.

              And, Diego, bring me that baby alive.

              If I'm gonna enjoy my revenge, I want it to be fresh.

              Phew. I'm wiped out.

              - That's your shelter? - You're a big guy. You got a lotta wood.

              - I'm a little guy. - You got half a stick.

              But with my little stick and my highly evolved brain, I shall create fire.

              Fascinating.

              We'll see if brains triumph over brawn tonight. Now, won't we?

              Think I saw a spark.

              Any chance I could squeeze in there with you, Manny, ol' pal?

              Isn't there someone else you can annoy?

              Friends? Family? Poisonous reptiles?

              My family abandoned me. They just kinda migrated without me.

              You should see what they did last year.

              They woke up early and tied my hands and feet

              and they gagged me with a field mouse,

              covered their tracks, went through water so I'd lose their scent,

              and... who needs 'em, anyway?

              So what about you? You have family?

              OK, you're tired. I see. We'll talk more in the morning.

              Manfred? Manfred? Could you scooch over a drop?

              Come on. Nobody falls asleep that fast.

              Manny.

              There's Diego. Fall back.

              - Where's the baby? - I lost it over the falls.

              You lost it?

              - I want that baby, Diego. - I'll get it.

              You'd better, unless you want to serve as a replacement.

              We'll go up to Half Peak. Meet us there.

              It had better be alive.

              Can we trust you with that, Diego?

              Let's go.

              She picked a hair off my shoulder and says, "If you have an extra mating dance,

              at least pick a female with the same color pelt."

              I thought "Whoa. She's gonna go praying mantis on me."

              If you find a mate, you should be loyal. In your case, grateful.

              - Now get away from me. - I think mating for life is stupid.

              There's plenty of Sid to go around.

              Manny?

              Manny?

              Look at that. He's OK.

              She's gone.

              - Manny, are you forgetting something? - No.

              - But you just saved him. - I'm trying to get rid of the last thing I saved.

              But you can't leave him here.

              Look, there's smoke. That's his herd right up the hill.

              - We should return him. - Let's get this straight. There is no "we".

              There never was a "we". In fact, without me, there wouldn't even be a "you".

              - Just up the hill. - Listen very carefully: I'm not going.

              - Fine, be ajerk. I'll take care of him. - Yeah, that's good.

              You can't even take care of yourself. This, I gotta see.

              I'll return you. We don't need that meany-weeny mammoth, do we?

              No, we don't.

              You're an embarrassment to nature. Do you know that?

              This is cake. I'm fine, I'm fine.

              I'm gonna die.

              Manny.

              - That pink thing is mine. - No. Actually, that pink thing belongs to us.

              "Us"? You two are a bit of an odd couple.

              There is no "us".

              I see. Can't have one of your own, so you want to adopt.

              Look, I'm sorry to interrupt your snack, but we gotta go.

              The baby? Please. I was returning him to his herd.

              Oh, yeah. Nice try, bucktooth.

              - Callin' me a liar? - I didn't say that.

              You were thinkin' it.

              I don't like this cat. He reads minds.

              - Name's Diego, friend. - Manfred, and I'm not your friend.

              Fine, Manfred. If you're lookin' for the humans, you're wastin' your time. They left.

              Thanks for the advice. Now beat it.

              I'll help you bring it to its herd, but leave me alone after that.

              - OK. OK, deal. What's your problem? - You are my problem.

              I think you're stressed, so you eat too much. It's hard to get fat on a vegan diet.

              I'm not fat. It's all this fur. It makes me look poofy.

              All right, you have fat hair. But when you're ready to talk, I'm here.

              What are you doin'? Just drop it on the ledge.

              - We should make sure they found him. - Good idea.

              No, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

              Don't spear me.

              - This is a problem. - Now what?

              That's perfect.

              - I told you they were gone. - Look who it is.

              Don't you have some poor animal to disembowel?

              They couldn't be far. I mean, they went this way, or this way?

              You don't know much about tracking, do you?

              I'm a sloth. I see a tree, eat a leaf. That's my tracking.

              You didn't miss them by much.

              It's still green. They headed north two hours ago.

              It's still green. They headed north two hours ago.

              You don't need this aggravation.

              Give me the baby. I can track humans down a lot faster than you.

              And you're just a good citizen helpin' out?

              - I just know where the humans are going. - Glacier Pass.

              Everybody knows they have a settlement on the other side.

              Unless you know how to track, you'll never reach them before snow closes the pass.

              Which should be, like, tomorrow.

              So, you can give that baby to me, or go get lost in a blizzard. It's your choice.

              Here's your little bundle of joy. We're returning it to the humans.

              The big, bad tigey-wigey gets left behind. Poor tigey-wigey.

              Sid, tigey-wigey is gonna lead the way.

              Manny, can I talk to you for a second?

              No. The sooner we find the humans, the sooner I get rid of Mr Stinky Drool-Face,

              and the baby, too.

              You won't always have Jumbo around to protect you.

              And when that day comes, I suggest you watch your back, cos I'll be chewin' on it.

              Über-tracker. Up front, where I can see you.

              Help me.

              You gotta make it stop. I can't take it anymore.

              - I've eaten things that complained less. - He won't stop squirming.

              - Watch its head. - Put it down.

              Jeez, "pick him up, put him down..."

              - Its nose is dry. - That means something's wrong with it.

              - Someone should lick it. Just in case. - I'll do it.

              - He's wearing one of those baby thingies. - So?

              So if he poops, where does it go?

              - Humans are disgusting. - OK, you. Check for poop.

              - Why am I the poop-checker? - Returning him was your idea,

              you're small and insignificant, and I'll pummel you if you don't.

              - Why else? - Now, Sid.

              I mean, my goodness. Look out. Coming through.

              - Watch out. - Stop wavin' that thing around.

              I'm gonna slip.

              It's clean. Got ya!

              Will you cut it out?

              Do that again. He likes it.

              It's makin' me feel better too.

              Here, you hold it.

              Turn him towards me.

              Where is the baby?

              There he is.

              Where is the baby?

              There he is.

              Stop it. You're scarin' him.

              - I bet he's hungry. - How about some milk?

              - I'd love some. - Not you. The baby.

              I ain't exactly lactating right now, pal.

              - You're a little low on the food chain to... - Enough.

              Enough, enough, enough.

              Food.

              I don't know, but I've been told

              I don't know, but I've been told

              End of the world be mighty cold

              End of the world be mighty cold

              Prepare for the Ice age!

              Protect the dodo way of life!

              Survival separates the dodos from the beasts!

              Protect the dodo way of life!

              Prepare for the Ice age!

              - Ice age? - I've heard of these crackpots.

              - Intruders. - Now, don't fall in.

              - If you do, you will definitely... - Intruders. Intruder...

              ...burn and die.

              Can we have our melon back? Junior's hungry and...

              No way. This is our private stockpile for the Ice age.

              Subarctic temperatures will force us underground for a billion years.

              So you got three melons?

              If you weren't smart enough to plan ahead, then doom on you.

              Doom on you. Doom on you. Doom on you.

              - Get away from me. - Doom on you.

              Oh, no. No.

              Retrieve the melon. Tae kwon dodos, attack.

              - The melon. - The melon, the melon, the melon...

              There goes our last female.

              - Got it, got it, got it. - Don't got it.

              The last melon.

              Sid. Now we gotta find more food.

              Right, more to the right. Right, right, right.

              - Look at that. Dinner and a show. - Left, left, left.

              Now to find a meal befitting a conquering hero.

              What ho? A foe? Come on, come on. You want a piece of me?

              Spoils worthy of such a noble...

              Bedtime, squirt.

              The triumphant return.

              Huh? Oh, that.

              I'm so full. How about a good-night kiss for your big buddy, Sid?

              - He's asleep. - I was talking to you.

              Fine, I'll tuck myself in.

              All right, good night.

              Will you stop it?

              All right, all right. I was trying to relax.

              Oy.

              - What the...? - Slice me. It'll be the last thing you ever do.

              - I'm workin' here, you waste of fur. - Frustrated, Diego?

              Tracking down helpless infants too difficult for you?

              - What are you two doin' here? - Soto's getting tired of waiting.

              Yeah, he said "Come back with the baby, or don't come back at all."

              I have a message for Soto.

              Tell him I'm bringing the baby.

              And tell him I'm bringing...

              a mammoth.

              - A mammoth? - Mammoths never travel alone.

              This one does, and I'm leading him to Half Peak.

              Look at all that meat. Let's get him.

              Not yet. We'll need the whole pack to bring this mammoth down.

              Get everyone ready.

              Now.

              - Where's the baby? - You lost it?

              Sid.

              It's so ugly. Positively adorable.

              Hello, pumpkin. Hello, little baldy bean.

              - Where'd you find it? - The poor kid, all alone in the wild.

              Sabers were closing in on him.

              - So I just snatched him. - So brave.

              Yeah, well, he needed me, and I only wish I had one of my own, too.

              Really? I find that attractive in a male.

              Alas. Who wouldn't want a family, I always say.

              - Where've you been hiding? - Yeah, well, you know...

              Cute kid, huh? So, as I was saying, ladies...

              Hey. Hi, Manny.

              What's the matter with you?

              Excuse me, ladies. You just keep marinating and I'll be right back.

              Sexy.

              He's not much to look at, but it's so hard to find a family guy.

              Tell me about it. All the sensitive ones get eaten.

              No, no, no. Manny, please, I'm begging you. I need him.

              - A good-lookin' guy like you? - You say that, but you don't mean it.

              No, seriously. Look at you. Those ladies, they don't stand a chance.

              - You have a cruel sense of humor. - Don't let me cramp your style.

              - Thanks, Manny. You're a pal. - Without Pinky.

              Manny, I need him.

              So, ladies, where were we?

              - Carl. - Easy, Frank.

              Pretty tail walks by, suddenly he moves like a cheetah. And that tiger...

              Yeah, Mr Great Tracker. Can't even find a sloth.

              What am I? The wet nurse? What are you lookin' at, bone bag?

              Look at you. You're gonna grow into a great predator.

              I don't think so. What have you got? You got a little patch of fur.

              No fangs, no claws.

              You're folds of skin wrapped in mush.

              What's so threatening about you?

              Does this look like a petting zoo to you? Huh?

              OK. All right, wise guy. You just earned a time-out.

              You think that's funny? How about this?

              You'll be a little snack for the owls.

              You're a brave little squirt, I'll give you that.

              Thank goodness. Thank goodness. No. A tiger.

              Help. Help.

              - Where's the baby? - Manfred has him.

              Just put me in your mouth. Come on. Hurry up. He got me.

              Help.

              - Get away from me. - It went this way.

              Over here.

              Carl. The tiger beat us to him.

              Wait a minute.

              He's dead all right.

              Carnivores have all the fun.

              Gosh, I hate breaking their hearts like that. But you know how it is.

              All right, thanks. You can put me down now.

              Manny. Manny.

              Guys, I thought we were in a hurry. And Diego, spit that out.

              You don't know where it's been.

              Boy. For a second there, I thought you were gonna eat me.

              - I don't eatjunk food. - Thought you were gonna...

              I thought you were gonna... Were you?

              Come on, wait up. Wait up. Come on, come on. Can you wait a second, please?

              Fellas.

              Thanks for waiting.

              Three, two, one...

              Sure is faithful.

              - Don't make me reach back. - He started it.

              I don't care who started it. I'll finish it.

              Modern architecture. It'll never last.

              Hiya, Manny.

              Hi, Diego.

              Hey, Sid.

              - You're lost. - No. I know exactly where we are.

              Ask him directions.

              - I don't need directions. - Fine, I'll ask him.

              Buddy. You see any humans go by here?

              I love this game. I love this game. OK, OK.

              Three words. First word. Stomp. No, no. Stamp, stamp.

              Let me try. Pack.

              Good one, Manny. Pack of long teeth and claws.

              Pack of wolves? Pack of...

              Pack of bears? Pack of fleas?

              Pack of whiskers? Pack of noses?

              - Pachyderm? - Pack of lies.

              Pack of troubles. Pack a wallop. Pack of birds.

              Pack of flying fish.

              Great news. I found a shortcut.

              - What do you mean, shortcut? - I mean faster than the long way around.

              I know what a shortcut is.

              Either we beat the humans to Glacier Pass or we take the long way and miss 'em.

              Through there? What do you take me for?

              This time tomorrow, you could be a free mammoth.

              Or a nanny. I never get tired of peekaboo.

              Guys. Guys. Check this out.

              Sid, the tiger found a shortcut.

              No, thanks. I choose life.

              Then I suggest you take the shortcut.

              - Are you threatening me? - Move, sloth!

              Way to go, tiger.

              Quick. Get inside.

              OK, I vote shortcut.

              Guys, stick together. It's easy to get lost in here.

              Guys?

              A fish.

              Will you keep up, please? Hard enough to keep track of one baby.

              I gotcha.

              Captain, iceberg ahead.

              Oh, no.

              Yeah. Who's up for round two?

              Tell the kid to be more careful.

              Look, look. Tigers.

              No, it's OK, it's OK. Look, the tigers are just playing tag with the antelope.

              - With their teeth. - Come on, Sid, let's play tag.

              You're it.

              Sure. OK, OK, OK, where are the sloths?

              You never see any sloths. Have you ever noticed?

              - Look, Manny, a mammoth. - Somebody pinch me.

              Hey, hey, this fat one looks just like you.

              And he's got a family.

              And he's happy. Look, he's playing with his kid.

              See? That's your problem. That's what mammoths are supposed to do.

              - Sid... - Find a she-mmoth, have baby mammoths...

              - Sid. - What?

              - Shut up. - But...

              Would you look at that.

              The tiger actually did it. There's Half Peak.

              Next stop, Glacier Pass.

              - How could I ever have doubted you? - Did you hear that, little fella?

              You're almost home.

              - My feet are sweating. - Do we need a news flash

              - every time your body does something? - Ignore him.

              Seriously. My feet are really hot.

              Tell me that was your stomach.

              I'm sure it was just thunder.

              From underground?

              Come on, keep up with me.

              I would if you were moving.

              - I wish I could jump like that. - Wish granted.

              - Come on, move faster. - Have you noticed the river of lava?

              Hold Pinky.

              Manny.

              Manny, Manny, Manny, you OK? Come on, come on, say something. Anything.

              What? What? I can't hear you.

              You're standing on my trunk.

              - You're OK. You're OK. - Why did you do that?

              You could have died, trying to save me.

              That's what you do in a herd.

              You look out for each other.

              Well, thanks.

              I don't know about you guys, but we are the weirdest herd I've ever seen.

              I can't wait to get my claws in that mammoth.

              No one touches the mammoth until I get that baby.

              First, I'll slice its hindquarters into sections.

              - I'll put the white meat in one pile and... - Knock it off. I'm starving.

              Next, the shoulders. Occasionally tough, but extremely juicy.

              - I told you to knock it off. - Save your energy.

              Mammoths don't go down easy.

              There's only one way to do it.

              First, you have to force it into a corner.

              Cut off its retreat. And when you three have it trapped,

              I'll go for the throat.

              Guys, we gotta get this kid outta the wind.

              - How much further? - Three miles.

              I'm beat. We'll get there in the morning.

              - What are you doin'? - I'm putting sloths on the map.

              Why don't you make it realistic and draw him lying down?

              And make him rounder.

              - Perfect. - I forgot how to laugh.

              I'm a genius.

              From now on you'll have to refer to me as Sid, Lord of the Flame.

              Lord of the Flame, your tail's on fire.

              Thank you. From now on, I'm gonna call you Diego.

              Lord of "Touch Me and You're Dead".

              I'm just kiddin', you little knucklehead.

              Lovebirds.

              Look at this.

              I don't believe it.

              Come here, you little biped. Come here, you little wormy-worm.

              Come to Uncle Sid.

              No, no, no, no, no, no. This way. This way.

              No, no, no. No, go to him.

              Go to him.

              OK.

              Good job. Keep practicin'.

              Look at that. Our little guy is growing up.

              All right, come on. Sleep time, lumpy.

              Look at that big pushover.

              You know, Diego, I've never had a friend who would risk his life for me.

              Yeah, Manny's... he's a good guy.

              Yeah, he is.

              Well, good night.

              Let's get you all cleaned up. What's your daddy gonna say if you go back all stinky?

              Let me just clean that up. That looks good. A little bit here.

              - You clean up nice, little fella. - I think he's starting to look like me.

              Diego, what do you think?

              - Maybe we shouldn't do this. - Why not?

              If we save him, he'll be a hunter. And who do you think he'll hunt?

              Maybe because we save him, he won't hunt us.

              Yeah, and maybe he'll grow fur and a long skinny neck and call you Mama.

              - What's your problem? - Nothing. Let's go. I'm freezing my tail off.

              Diego. You frozen back there?

              - Get down. - What?

              - Get down and follow me. - What's goin' on?

              At the bottom of Half Peak, there's an ambush waiting for you.

              - What? - What do you mean, "ambush"?

              - You set us up. - It was my job.

              - I was to get the baby, but then... - You brought us home for dinner.

              - That's it. You're out of the herd. - I'm sorry.

              No, you're not. Not yet.

              - Listen, I can help you. - Stay close, Sid. We can fight our way out.

              You can't. The pack's too strong. You have to trust me.

              Trust you? Why in the world would we trust you?

              Because I'm your only chance.

              Hello, ladies.

              - Look who decided to show up. - Diego, I was beginning to worry about you.

              No need to worry. In about two minutes you'll be satisfying your taste for revenge.

              Very nice.

              I see the sloth. And he's got the baby.

              Don't give away your positions until you see the mammoth. He's the one to surprise.

              You want to maul something, don't you?

              - I wanna maul. - Then what are you waiting for?

              No, I said wait for the mammoth.

              Backscratcher. Eat my powder!

              Loop-de-loop.

              Slalom! Slalom, baby!

              Sorry, fellas. He got a little frostbite.

              Get him.

              Surprise!

              OK, follow me. We'll pick up Sid and get outta here while we can.

              Come on, Diego, let's bring this mammoth down.

              There he is.

              That's right. Where's the baby?

              Survival of the fittest.

              I don't think so. Yeah.

              - What are you doing? - Leave the mammoth alone.

              Fine. I'll take you down first.

              We did it.

              We were some team, huh?

              Were? Come on, we're still a team.

              I'm sorry I set you up.

              You know me - I'm too lazy to hold a grudge.

              Knock it off, squirt.

              You gotta be strong.

              You have to take care of Manfred and Sid.

              Especially Sid.

              Come on, you can lick this. You're a tiger.

              Look, I'll carry you. Come on, what do you say?

              Come on, Diego, come on.

              Tell him he's going to be OK, Manny.

              Listen, you have to leave me here.

              If those humans get through the pass, you'll never catch them.

              You didn't have to do that.

              That's what you do in a herd.

                Don't forget about us.

                OK?

                We won't forget about you.

                Goodbye.

                Goodbye. Goodbye.

                - Sid... - Bye.

                Bye.

                That's right. Where's the baby?

                Come on, Sid, let's head south.

                Bye.

                Save your breath, Sid. You know humans can't talk.

                Diego? You're OK.

                - Nine lives, baby. - You're OK.

                You're OK.

                I could kiss ya.

                Welcome back, partner. Wanna lift?

                No thanks. I gotta save whatever dignity I've got left.

                You're hanging out with us. Dignity's got nothing to do with it. I'll take that lift.

                - Yeah, climb aboard. - Pick me up, buddy.

                Mush. Or not mush. Either way.

                This is gonna be the best migration ever.

                I'll show you my favorite watering holes. I turn brown when the fungus in my fur dries.

                - Attractive. - This whole Ice age thing is getting old.

                You know what I could go for? Global warming.

                - Keep dreamin'. - No, really...

Special help by SergeiK

2017-01-13 17:27:36 UTC

West Side Story Script

  

  



 

                   

Watch this shot now.

Shoot, man. Go.



 

                   

Yeah.



 

                   

Hey, chickie.

Chick, chick, chick.



 

                   

Watch it, Jet boy.

Hey, Jet boy.



 

                   

Beat it!



 

                   

Jets, get out here.



 

                   

Come on.



 

                   

Beat it.



  

                   

Okay, here we go.



  

                   

Jets! Hey, Jets!



  

                   

Hey, Jets!



  

                   

Jets, come on!



  

                   

Jets, come on.



  

                   

Come on, boys, huh?



  

                   

Hey, come on, huh?



  

                   

Break it up, you punks.



  

                   

Cut it out. Come on,

let's break it up, l said.



  

                   

Come on. Break it up.



  

                   

How many times have l told you punks

to cut this stuff out?



  

                   

Why, if it ain't

Lieutenant Schrank.



  

                   

- Top o' the day, Lieutenant Schrank.

- And Officer Krupke.



  

                   

Top o' the day,

Officer Krupke.



  

                   

- l'll give you the top o' the head.

- Hey, you, get down.



  

                   

- But we're havin' such fun.

- We enjoy the playground.



  

                   

See, it keeps us deprived children

off of the foul city streets.



  

                   

- Shut up.

- Born like we was on the hot pavements.



  

                   

- You wanna get your skull broke?

- Baby John, come here.



  

                   

All right.



  

                   

Now, which one of

these Puerto Ricans bloodied you?



  

                   

- Well, sir--

- Which one?



  

                   

Excuse me, sir.



  

                   

As a matter of fact,

we suspicion...



  

                   

- that the job was done by a cop.

- Two cops.



  

                   

- At the very least.

- lmpossible.



  

                   

ln America,

nothing is impossible.



  

                   

All right, wise guys.



  

                   

You listen to me...



  

                   

all of ya.



  

                   

You hoodlums

don't own these streets...



  

                   

and l've had all the roughhouse

l'm gonna put up with around here.



  

                   

You wanna kill each other?

Kill each other.



  

                   

But you ain't gonna do it

on my beat.



  

                   

- Are there any questions?

- Yes, sir.



  

                   

Would you mind

translating that into Spanish?



  

                   

Get your friends

out of here, Bernardo...



  

                   

and stay out.



  

                   

Please.



  

                   

Okay, Sharks.



  

                   

Boy, oh, boy, as if this neighborhood

wasn't crummy enough.



  

                   

Now, look, fellas.

Fellas?



  

                   

Look, let's be reasonable.



  

                   

lf l don't get a little

law and order around here...



  

                   

l get busted down

to a traffic corner...



  

                   

and your friend

don't like traffic corners.



  

                   

So that means you're gonna start

makin' nice with the P.R.s from now on.



  

                   

l said nice, get it?



  

                   

'Cause if you don't...



  

                   

and l catch any of you doin'

any more brawlin' in my territory...



  

                   

l'm gonna personally beat the living

crud out of every one of you...



  

                   

and see that you go to the can

and rot there.



  

                   

Say good-bye

to the nice boys, Krupke.



  

                   

Good-bye, boys.



  

                   

Jail? Gee.



  

                   

- You hoodlums don't own the streets.

- Go play in the park.



  

                   

- Keep off of the grass.

- Get out of the house.



  

                   

- Keep off the block.

- Keep off the world.



  

                   

A gang that don't own the street

is nothin'.



  

                   

- That's it.

- We do own it!



  

                   

Jets, round out.



  

                   

Not you, Anybodys.

Beat it.



  

                   

Riff, you gotta

let me in the gang.



  

                   

Didn't you just see me?

l was smash.



  

                   

l'm a killer.

l wanna fight.



  

                   

How else is she gonna

get a guy to touch her?



  

                   

- You dirty rat!

- The road, little girl, the road.



  

                   

Beat it.



  

                   

Okay, come on.



  

                   

Now listen.



  

                   

We fought hard for this turf,

and we ain't just gonna give it up.



  

                   

The Emeralds claimed it,

and we shut 'em out.



  

                   

The Hawks tried to take it away,

and we knocked 'em down the cellar.



  

                   

- Yeah, but these P.R.s are different.

- They multiply.



  

                   

- They keep comin'.

- Like cockroaches.



  

                   

- They're eatin' all the food.

- They're breathin' all the air.



  

                   

Help! l'm drowning in tamale.



  

                   

You heard what

Lieutenant Schrank said.



  

                   

We gotta make nice

with them Puerto Ricans, or else.



  

                   

Are we gonna let 'em move in

and take it all away from us, or else?



  

                   

You're damn right no.



  

                   

What are we gonna do,

huh, buddy boys?



  

                   

l'll tell you what we're gonna do.

We're gonna speed fast.



  

                   

We're gonna move like lightnin'...



  

                   

and we're gonna clean

them Sharks up once and for all...



  

                   

so they ain't never gonna set foot

on our turf again.



  

                   

And we're gonna do it

in one all-out fight.



  

                   

- A rumble!

- Now, cool, Action boy.



  

                   

The Sharks want a piece

of this world too.



  

                   

They're real down boys.



   

                   

They might ask for blades,

zip guns.



   

                   

Zip guns? Well, gee.



   

                   

l ain't finalizin' and sayin'

they will, Baby John.



   

                   

l'm just sayin' that they might.



   

                   

And we gotta be prepared.



   

                   

Now, what's your mood, Jets?



   

                   

l say go, go!



   

                   

- l say mix.

- l say sock 'em.



   

                   

- Tear 'em.

- Yeah.



   

                   

- But if they say blades or guns?

- l say let's forget the whole thing.



   

                   

- What?

- What do you say, Riff?



   

                   

l say this turf is small...



   

                   

but it's all we got, huh?



   

                   

l want to hold it like

we always held it-- with skin.



   

                   

But if they say blades,

l say blades.



   

                   

lf they say guns,

l say guns.



   

                   

l say l want the Jets

to be the number one...



   

                   

to sail, to hold the sky!



   

                   

Then rev us off!



   

                   

Okay, cats, we rumble.



   

                   

Protocality calls for a war council

between us and the Sharks...



   

                   

to set the whole thing up.



   

                   

l will personally give

the bad news to Bernardo.



   

                   

- You gotta take a lieutenant with you.

- That's me.



   

                   

- That's Tony.

- Who needs Tony?



   

                   

We need Tony. He's got a rep

that's bigger than the whole west side.



   

                   

- He don't belong no more.

- Now, cut it, Action.



   

                   

- Me and Tony started the Jets.

- So where is he?



   

                   

How come he takes

a lousy, stinkin' job?



   

                   

- Youth board corrupted him.

- Yeah, temporary sickness.



   

                   

-Wait and see.

-Man, the day we clobbered the Emeralds.



   

                   

- He saved my ever-lovin' neck.

- Sure, he'll do it again too.



   

                   

He always came through for us,

and he always will.



   

                   

When you're a Jet

you're a Jet all the way



   

                   

From your first cigarette

to your last dying day



   

                   

When you're a Jet

let them do what they can



   

                   

You've got brothers around

You're a family man



   

                   

You're never alone



   

                   

You're never disconnected



   

                   

You're home with your own

When company's expected



   

                   

You're well protected



   

                   

Then you are set

with a capital "J"



   

                   

Which you'll never forget

till they cart you away



   

                   

When you're a Jet

you stay



   

                   

A Jet



   

                   

l know Tony like l know me.



   

                   

- l guarantee you can count him in.

- ln, out. Let's get crackin'.



   

                   

- Where you gonna find Bernardo?

- lt ain't safe to go in P.R. territory.



   

                   

- He'll be at the dance at the gym.

- But the gym's neutral territory.



   

                   

A-rab, l'm gonna make nice with 'em.

l'm only gonna challenge 'em.



   

                   

- Great, Daddy-O.

- So listen.



   

                   

Everybody dress up sweet and sharp.

Meet Tony and me at the dance at   :  .



   

                   

- And walk tall.

- We always walk tall.



   

                   

- We're Jets.

- The greatest.



   

                   

When you're a Jet

you're the top cat in town



   

                   

You're the gold-medal kid

with the heavyweight crown



   

                   

When you're a Jet

you're the swingingest thing



   

                   

Little boy, you're a man

Little man, you're a king



   

                   

The Jets are in gear

Our cylinders are clickin'



   

                   

The Sharks'll steer clear



   

                   

'Cause every Puerto Rican's

a lousy chicken



   

                   

Here come the Jets

like a bat out of hell



   

                   

Someone gets in our way

someone don't feel so well



   

                   

Here come the Jets

Little world, step aside



   

                   

Better go underground

Better run, better hide



   

                   

We're drawin' the line

so keep your noses hidden



   

                   

We're hangin' a sign

says "Visitors Forbidden"



   

                   

And we ain't kiddin'



   

                   

Here come the Jets, yeah

and we're gonna beat



   

                   

Every last buggin' gang

on the whole buggin' street



   

                   

On the whole buggin'



   

                   

Ever-lovin' street



   

                   

Yeah!



   

                   

- Tony, you're not even listenin'.

- l read you loud and clear, Riff.



   

                   

Then why don't you say somethin'?



   

                   

l don't want to hurt your feelings.

You're my buddy, my pal, my best friend.



   

                   

Womb to tomb?



   

                   

Birth to earth.



   

                   

That's why you gotta come to the dance

tonight and stand up with me.



   

                   

Come on, Tony, just say yes.



   

                   

Did you ever stop to figure how many

bubbles there are in one bottle of soda?



   

                   

Tony, this is important.



   

                   

Everything's important, Riff.



   

                   

You, me,

the sweet guy l work for.



   

                   

The Sharks walk bad.

They bite hard.



   

                   

lf we don't stop 'em now,

we're gonna never--



   

                   

- Work for a living.

- How do you like that, huh?



   

                   

Four-and-a-half years l live

with a buddy and his family.



   

                   

l think l'm diggin'

a guy's character.



   

                   

Boy, am l a victim

of disappointment in you.



   

                   

End your sufferin', little man.



   

                   

Why don't you just pack up your gear

and move out?



   

                   

'Cause your ma's hot for me.



   

                   

lt's 'cause l hate livin'

with my buggin' uncle.



   

                   

- Come on!

- Uncle! Uncle!



   

                   

Go play games with the Jets.



   

                   

Why not?

They're the greatest.



   

                   

Ain't they?



   

                   

Were.



   

                   

You found somethin' better?



   

                   

Not yet, but--



   

                   

But what?



   

                   

You won't dig it, Riff.



   

                   

So try me.



   

                   

Come on, Tony. Try me.



   

                   

Okay.



   

                   

Every single night

for the last month...



   

                   

l wake up,

and l'm reachin' out.



   

                   

Well, for what?



   

                   

l don't know.



   

                   

A dame?



   

                   

lt's right outside the door,

just around the corner...



   

                   

but it's comin'.



   

                   

What is?



   

                   

l don't know.



   

                   

lt's like the kick l used to get

from bein' a Jet.



   

                   

Well, now you're talkin'.



   

                   

Man, without a gang,

you're an orphan.



   

                   

With a gang, you walk

in twos, threes, fours.



   

                   

When your crew is the best,

when you're a Jet...



   

                   

you're out in the sun, buddy boy,

you're home, free home.



   

                   

Riff, l've had it.



   

                   

Tony, look at me, will ya?

Come on, look at me.



   

                   

l'm lookin' at you.



   

                   

l never asked the time of day

from a clock, did l?



   

                   

l never asked nothin' from nobody.



   

                   

But l'm askin' you,

come to the dance tonight.



   

                   

l promised Doc l'd clean up

the store tonight.



   

                   

Then do it after the dance.



   

                   

Tony, l already told the guys

you'd be there.



   

                   

lf you don't show,

l'll be marked lousy.



   

                   

- What time did you tell 'em?

-   :  .



   

                   

For me, Tony. For Riff.



   

                   

-   :   it is.

- Womb to tomb?



   

                   

Birth to earth,

and l'll live to regret this.



   

                   

Who knows? Maybe what you're waitin' for

will be twitchin' at the dance tonight.



   

                   

Who knows?



   

                   

Could be



   

                   

Who knows



   

                   

There's something due any day

l will know right away



   

                   

Soon as it shows



   

                   

lt may come cannonballin' down

through the sky, gleam in its eye



   

                   

Bright as a rose



   

                   

Who knows



   

                   

lt's only just out of reach

Down the block, on a beach



   

                   

Under a tree



   

                   

l got a feelin' there's a miracle due

gonna come true



   

                   

Comin' to me



   

                   

Could it be

Yes, it could



   

                   

Something's comin'

something good



   

                   

lf l can wait



   

                   

Something's comin'

l don't know what it is



   

                   

But it is gonna be great



   

                   

With a click

with a shock



   

                   

Phone will jingle

door will knock



   

                   

Open the latch



   

                   

Something's comin'

Don't know when, but it's soon



   

                   

Catch the moon

One-handed catch



   

                   

Around the corner



   

                   

Or whistlin' down the river



   

                   

Come on, deliver



   

                   

To me



   

                   

Will it be

Yes, it will



   

                   

Maybe just by holdin' still



   

                   

lt'll be there



   

                   

Come on, somethin'

Come on in, don't be shy



   

                   

Meet a guy

Pull up a chair



   

                   

The air is hummin'



   

                   

And somethin' great



   

                   

ls comin'



   

                   

lt's only just out of reach

Down the block, on a beach



   

                   

Maybe tonight



   

                   

Por favor, Anita.

You are my friend.



   

                   

- Stop it, Maria.

- You must make the neck lower.



   

                   

You must stop heckling me. We are

working on our time, not the old lady's.



   

                   

One inch. How much

can one little inch do?



   

                   

Too much.



   

                   

Anita, it is now to be a dress

for dancing, no longer for praying.



   

                   

Listen, with those boys, you can

start out dancing and end up praying.



   

                   

One little inch.



   

                   

Bernardo made me promise.



   

                   

One month have l been in this country.

Do l ever even touch excitement?



   

                   

l sew in this place all day.

l sit at home all night.



   

                   

For what did my brother

bring me here?



   

                   

To marry Chino.



   

                   

When l look at Chino,

nothing happens.



   

                   

What do you expect to happen?



   

                   

l don't know. Something.



   

                   

What happens when you

look at Bernardo?



   

                   

lt's when l don't look

that it happens.



   

                   

l think l will tell

Mama and Papa...



   

                   

about you and Nardo

in the balcony of the movies.



   

                   

- l will rip this to shreds!

- No.



   

                   

But if you could perhaps manage

to lower the neck.



   

                   

Next year.



   

                   

- l hate that dress!

- Then don't wear it.



   

                   

Don't come to the dance

with us tonight.



   

                   

Don't come?



   

                   

- Could we not dye it red, at least?

- No, we could not.



   

                   

White is for babies.



   

                   

l will be the only one there

in a white--



   

                   

lt is a beautiful dress.



   

                   

l love you!



   

                   

- Are you ready, ladies?

- Nardo, come in.



   

                   

ls it not beautiful?



   

                   

Yes. Very.



   

                   

l didn't quite hear.



   

                   

Very beautiful.



   

                   

Come in, Chino.

Do not be afraid.



   

                   

But this is a shop for ladies.



   

                   

We won't bite you

till we know you better.



   

                   

You will keep both eyes on Maria

tonight in case l cannot.



   

                   

- You too, Anita.

- My brother is a silly watchdog.



   

                   

My sister is a precious jewel.



   

                   

What am l, cut glass?



   

                   

Nardo, it is most important that l have

a wonderful time at the dance tonight.



   

                   

lt is?



   

                   

Because tonight is

the real beginning of my life...



   

                   

as a young lady of America.



   

                   

Get out of here.



   

                   

Come on, guys.



   

                   

- Hey, look what l got.

- Hi, Consuelo.



   

                   

Maria, these are some of my friends

you have not met.



   

                   

- Hey, pick up.

- How are you?



   

                   

This is Loco.



   

                   

Teresita.



   

                   

- My sister Maria.

- Good evening.



   

                   

And this is Luis Arruza.



   

                   

Rosalia, hi.



   

                   

All right, boys and girls.



   

                   

Attention, please.



   

                   

- Come here.

- Okay, let's get on with it.



   

                   

My, this is a fine turnout

we have here tonight.



   

                   

Hey, it's all for you, Glad Hand.



   

                   

l know all of you

boys and girls are here...



   

                   

because you want to

make new friends...



   

                   

and get closer to old ones.



   

                   

So tonight...



   

                   

kids, we're gonna do

something special.



   

                   

We're gonna have

a get-together dance.



   

                   

Ginger-peachy!



   

                   

All right. Now, kids.



   

                   

l want you to form two circles.



   

                   

- How many?

- Two. Boys on the outside.



   

                   

- Girls on the inside.

- Hey, where are you?



   

                   

All right.



   

                   

When the music stops...



   

                   

each boy dances with

whichever girl is opposite.



   

                   

Okay?



   

                   

Two circles, kids.



   

                   

Well, it won't hurt you to try.



   

                   

Ooh, it hurts, it hurts.



   

                   

Snowboy.



   

                   

That's it, kids.

Keep the ball rolling.



   

                   

Around she goes,

and where she stops...



   

                   

nobody knows.



   

                   

Here we go.



   

                   

Boys to my right,

and girls to my left.



   

                   

- Mambo!

- Mambo!



   

                   

Go!



   

                   

You're not thinkin'

l'm someone else?



   

                   

l know you are not.



   

                   

Or that we met before?



   

                   

l know we have not.



   

                   

l felt...



   

                   

l knew something never before

was going to happen...



   

                   

had to happen,

but this is so much more.



   

                   

My hands are cold.



   

                   

Yours too.



   

                   

So warm.



   

                   

So beautiful.



   

                   

Beautiful.



   

                   

lt's so much to believe.



   

                   

You're not makin' a joke.



   

                   

l have not yet learned

how to joke that way.



   

                   

l think now l never will.



   

                   

Get your hands off, American!



   

                   

- Stay away from my sister.

- Sister?



   

                   

- Couldn't you see he's one of them?

- No, l saw only him.



   

                   

There's only one thing they want

from a Puerto Rican girl.



   

                   

- That's a lie.

- Later, Tony.



   

                   

Don't listen to them.



   

                   

She will listen to her brother

before she listens to you.



   

                   

- lf you two want to settle this--

- Please, boys!



   

                   

Everything was going so well.

We're all here to have a good time.



   

                   

Come here a second.

l want to talk to you.



   

                   

Take her out of here.

We're going home.



   

                   

- lt is my first dance.

- Please, we are family. Now, go.



   

                   

Come, Maria.



   

                   

- l don't want you.

- l want you though.



   

                   

l want you for a war council.

Jets and Sharks.



   

                   

- The pleasure is mine.

- Let's go outside.



   

                   

l would not leave the ladies alone

with your kind around.



   

                   

We will meet you at midnight.



   

                   

- Doc's candy store?

- Mm-hmm.



   

                   

And no jazz before then.



   

                   

l understand the rules...



   

                   

native boy.



   

                   

lce.



   

                   

Doc's at midnight.

Spread the word.



   

                   

Right, Daddy-O.



   

                   

The most beautiful sound

l ever heard



   

                   

Maria



   

                   

All the beautiful sounds

of the world



   

                   

ln a single word



   

                   

l just met a girl named Maria



   

                   

And suddenly that name



   

                   

Will never be the same to me



   

                   

l just kissed a girl

named Maria



   

                   

And suddenly l found



   

                   

How wonderful a sound can be



   

                   

Say it loud

and there's music playing



   

                   

Say it soft



   

                   

And it's almost like praying



   

                   

l'll never stop saying



   

                   

Say it loud

and there's music playing



   

                   

Say it soft



   

                   

And it's almost like praying



   

                   

l'll never stop saying



   

                   

The most beautiful sound



   

                   

l ever heard



   

                   

Now, l do not say these things

to spoil your evening...



   

                   

or to hear myself talk.



   

                   

l am here longer than you.



   

                   

Someday when you are an old

married woman with five children...



   

                   

then you can tell me what to do,

but now it is the other way around.



   

                   

Now go to bed.



   

                   

He's the old married woman.



   

                   

You know, she has a mother,

also a father.



   

                   

They do not know this country

any better than she does.



   

                   

You do not know it at all.



   

                   

Girls here are free to have fun.

She is in America now.



   

                   

Puerto Rico is in America now.



   

                   

Sometimes l don't know

which is thicker--



   

                   

your skull or your accent.



   

                   

- Let them wait.

- ls Maria all right?



   

                   

- l should be so all right.

- lt will not happen again.



   

                   

Pepe, lndio.



   

                   

- After tonight, things will be settled.

- First settle your stomach.



   

                   

Never mind my stomach.



   

                   

Well, l mind your nose

and your head broken.



   

                   

- Broken?

- Sure.



   

                   

They use Maria for an excuse

to start World War lll.



   

                   

lt is more than that.



   

                   

More than what?

She was only dancing.



   

                   

With an American

who is really a Polack.



   

                   

Says the spic.



   

                   

You are not so cute.



   

                   

- That Tony is.

- And he works.



   

                   

A delivery boy.



   

                   

- And what are you?

- An assistant.



   

                   

And Chino makes half

of what the Polack makes.



   

                   

- The Polack is an American.

- Here comes the whole commercial.



   

                   

Your mother's a Pole.

Your father's a Swede.



   

                   

But you were born here.

That's all that you need.



   

                   

You are an American.

But us?



   

                   

Foreigners!



   

                   

Lice. Cockroaches.



   

                   

But it's true.



   

                   

When l think about how l thought

it would be for us here.



   

                   

We came like children,

believing, trusting.



   

                   

With our hearts open.



   

                   

With our arms open.



   

                   

You came with your mouth open.



   

                   

You did, spic, and you'll

go back in handcuffs.



   

                   

l'm going back in a Cadillac.



   

                   

- Air-conditioned.

- Built-in bar.



   

                   

- Telephone.

- Television.



   

                   

Compatible color.



   

                   

lf you had all that here, why would you

want to go back to Puerto Rico?



   

                   

Even if you didn't have all that here,

why would you want to go back?



   

                   

lt's so good here?



   

                   

lt's so good there?

We had nothing.



   

                   

Ah, we still have nothing,

only more expensive.



   

                   

Anita Josephina...



   

                   

- Beatriz del Carmen Margarita.

- lt's plain Anita now.



   

                   

- Et cetera.

- Leave me alone. At least l--



   

                   

Once an immigrant,

always an immigrant.



   

                   

Hey, look, instead of a shampoo,

she's been brainwashed.



   

                   

- Stop it.

- She's given up Puerto Rico.



   

                   

Now she's queer for Uncle Sam.



   

                   

Oh, no. That's not true.



   

                   

Puerto Rico



   

                   

My heart's devotion



   

                   

Let it sink back



   

                   

ln the ocean



   

                   

Always the hurricanes blowing



   

                   

Always the population growing



   

                   

And the money owing



   

                   

And the sunlight streaming



   

                   

And the natives steaming



   

                   

l like the island Manhattan



   

                   

l know you do.



   

                   

Smoke on your pipe



   

                   

And put that in



   

                   

l like to be in America



   

                   

Okay by me in America



   

                   

Everything free in America



   

                   

For a small fee in America



   

                   

Buying on credit is so nice



   

                   

One look at us

and they charge twice



   

                   

l have my own washing machine



   

                   

What will you have though

to keep clean



   

                   

Skyscrapers bloom in America



   

                   

Cadillacs zoom in America



   

                   

lndustry boom in America



   

                   

Twelve in a room in America



   

                   

Lots of new housing

with more space



   

                   

Lots of doors slamming

in our face



   

                   

l'll get a terrace apartment



   

                   

Better get rid of your accent



   

                   

Life can be bright in America



   

                   

lf you can fight in America



   

                   

Life is all right in America



   

                   

lf you're all white in America



   

                   

La-la-la, la-la, America



   

                   

Here you are free

and you have pride



   

                   

Long as you stay

on your own side



   

                   

Free to be anything

you choose



   

                   

Free to wait tables

and shine shoes



   

                   

Everywhere grime in America



   

                   

Organized crime in America



   

                   

Terrible time in America



   

                   

You forget l'm in America



   

                   

l think l go back

to San Juan



   

                   

l know a boat you can get on

Bye-bye!



   

                   

Everyone there

will give big cheer



   

                   

Everyone there

will have moved here



   

                   

Come on! Hey, Chino.



   

                   

What are you doing?



   

                   

- Meet me on the roof later.

- Meet me on the roof later.



   

                   

- Well, will you or won't you?

- Well, will you or won't you?



   

                   

Well, will you?



   

                   

You have your big,

important war council.



   

                   

The council or me?



   

                   

First one...



   

                   

and then the other.



   

                   

l'm an American girl now.



   

                   

l don't wait.



   

                   

Back home,

women know their place.



   

                   

Back home, little boys

don't have war councils.



   

                   

But they do here.



   

                   

You want me to be

an American, don't you?



   

                   

lmmigrant!



   

                   

Good night, Maria.



   

                   

Good night.



   

                   

Quiet!



   

                   

Come down.



   

                   

Please. My mother

and father will wake up.



   

                   

Just for a minute.



   

                   

A minute is not enough.



   

                   

- For an hour then.

- l cannot.



   

                   

Then forever!

Then l'm comin' up.



   

                   

Now see what you've done.



   

                   

lt is dangerous.

lf Bernardo knew--



   

                   

We'll let him know.

l'm not one of 'em, Maria.



   

                   

But you are not one of us,

and l am not one of you.



   

                   

- To me you're all the beautiful--

- Maruca.



   

                   

His pet name for me.



   

                   

l like him,

and he will like me.



   

                   

He is like Bernardo-- afraid.



   

                   

lmagine being afraid of you.



   

                   

- You see?

- l see you.



   

                   

Oh, Maria, see only me.



   

                   

Only you



   

                   

You're the only thing

l'll see forever



   

                   

ln my eyes, in my words

and in everything l do



   

                   

Nothing else but you ever



   

                   

And there's nothing for me but Maria



   

                   

Every sight that l see is Maria



   

                   

Tony, Tony



   

                   

Always you

Every thought l'll ever know



   

                   

Everywhere l go

you'll be



   

                   

All the world

is only you and me



   

                   

Tonight, tonight



   

                   

lt all began tonight



   

                   

l saw you

and the world went away



   

                   

There's only you tonight



   

                   

What you are

What you do



   

                   

What you say



   

                   

Today



   

                   

All day l had the feeling



   

                   

A miracle would happen



   

                   

l know now l was right



   

                   

For here you are



   

                   

And what was just a world



   

                   

ls a star tonight



   

                   

The world is full of light



   

                   

With suns and moons

all over the place



   

                   

The world is wild and bright



   

                   

Going mad

Shooting sparks into space



   

                   

Today the world

was just an address



   

                   

A place for me to live in



   

                   

No better than all right



   

                   

But here you are



   

                   

And what was just a world



   

                   

ls a star tonight



   

                   

l cannot stay.

Go quickly.



   

                   

- l'm not afraid.

- Please.



   

                   

Good night.



   

                   

l love you.



   

                   

Yes.



   

                   

Yes, hurry.



   

                   

- When will l see you?

- Tomorrow.



   

                   

l work at the bridal shop

across the street-- Madam Lucia's.



   

                   

- l'll come there.

- At closing time,  :  .



   

                   

When you come,

use the back door.



   

                   

What does "Tony" stand for?



   

                   

Anton.



   

                   

Good night



   

                   

Sleep well

and when you dream



   

                   

Dream of me



   

                   

Tonight



   

                   

- Where the devil are them Sharks?

- Maybe they're too chicken to show.



   

                   

We got time, A-rab.

Riff and lce ain't even here yet.



   

                   

- Come on, come on.

- He don't use a switchblade.



   

                   

- He don't even use an atomic ray gun.

- Who don't?



   

                   

Captain Marvel.

Gee, l love him.



   

                   

So marry him!



   

                   

l ain't never gonna get married.

Too noisy.



   

                   

You ain't never gonna get married.

Too ugly.



   

                   

Down goes a teenage hoodlum.



   

                   

Gee, could a real zip gun

make you do like that?



   

                   

l know what a zip gun could make you do.

You better wear diapers.



   

                   

Go walk the streets

like your sister.



   

                   

Listen, jail bait. l licked you twice,

and l can do it again!



   

                   

Come on, Anybodys,

knock it off.



   

                   

- Riff's here.

- Jets all present and accounted for?



   

                   

l'm proud of ya.

Ya done good at the dance.



   

                   

- So where are they?

- Unwind, Action!



   

                   

- Any sign of Tony?

- The lnvisible Man.



   

                   

What do you think

the Sharks are gonna ask for?



   

                   

- Mercy.

- Just rubber hoses maybe.



   

                   

- Relax, little man.

- You tell him, Daddy-O.



   

                   

- l'm ready.

- Easy. Cool.



   

                   

Riff, in a tight spot,

you gonna need every man you can get.



   

                   

An American tragedy.



   

                   

Look. When the Sharks come,

you chicks cut out.



   

                   

We might,

and then again, we might not.



   

                   

This ain't kid stuff, Graziella.



   

                   

l and Velma ain't

kid stuff, neither.



   

                   

- Are we, Vel?

- No, thank you.



   

                   

And you can punctuate it.



   

                   

What are we poopin' around

with dumb broads?



   

                   

l and Velma ain't dumb.



   

                   

The bulls!



   

                   

- Hey, you.

- Hey, who?



   

                   

- Who? Me?

- Her?



   

                   

Top o' the evening,

Officer Krupke.



   

                   

You!



   

                   

- Me, sir?

- Yeah, you.



   

                   

- Didn't you hear me?

- Yes, sir.



   

                   

l got twenty-twenty hearin'.



   

                   

-Then why didn't you answer me?

-His mother told him not to answer cops.



   

                   

- Wise apple, you want me to run you in?

- lndeed not, sir.



   

                   

l oughta run

all you punks in.



   

                   

What are you standin'

around here for?



   

                   

You see, sir,

we're afraid to go home.



   

                   

Such a bad environment.



   

                   

- We don't get no love there.

- Oh, it's awful.



   

                   

lf you don't leave us

stay out in the streets...



   

                   

we liable to turn into

a bunch of juvenile delinquents.



   

                   

l know you guys was cookin' up

somethin' at the dance tonight...



   

                   

so don't think you're gonna

put nothin' over on me.



   

                   

Sergeant, come on.

We got a   -  .



   

                   

Now go on, get a move on,

all of you.



   

                   

Don't let me catch none of you

around here when l get back.



   

                   

l'll see you around now.



   

                   

- You forgot to say good-bye.

- Them headbusters ain't got no manners.



   

                   

Don't let me catch none of you

around here when l get back.



   

                   

- They treat us like we ain't human.

- He was pretty mad, huh?



   

                   

So what happened?

A big fat nothin', right?



   

                   

Yeah, but suppose he comes back while us

and the Sharks are havin' a war council?



   

                   

We'll snow him some more.



   

                   

Them cops believe everything they read

in the papers about us cruddy J.D.'s...



   

                   

so we give 'em

somethin' to believe in.



   

                   

Hey, you!



   

                   

- Who, me, Officer Krupke?

- Yeah, you!



   

                   

Give me one good reason for not draggin'

ya down to the station house, ya punk!



   

                   

Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke



   

                   

Ya gotta understand



   

                   

lt's just our bringin' up-ke

that gets out outta hand



   

                   

Our mothers all are junkies

Our fathers all are drunks



   

                   

Golly Moses

Naturally we're punks



   

                   

Gee, Officer Krupke

We're very upset



   

                   

We never had the love

that every child oughta get



   

                   

We ain't no delinquents

We're misunderstood



   

                   

- Deep down inside us there is good

- There is good



   

                   

There is good, there is good

There is untapped good



   

                   

Like inside

the worst of us is good



   

                   

- That's a touchin' good story!

- Let me tell it to the world!



   

                   

Just tell it to the judge!



   

                   

Dear kindly Judge

Your Honor



   

                   

My parents treat me rough



   

                   

With all their marijuana

they won't give me a puff



   

                   

They didn't wanna have me

But somehow l was had



   

                   

Leapin' lizards

That's why l'm so bad



   

                   

Right! Officer Krupke

you're really a square



   

                   

This boy don't need a judge

He needs an analyst's care



   

                   

lt's just his neurosis

that oughta be curbed



   

                   

- He's psychologically disturbed

- l'm disturbed



   

                   

We're disturbed, we're disturbed

We're the most disturbed



   

                   

Like we're psychologically disturbed



   

                   

Hear ye! Hear ye!



   

                   

ln the opinion of this court,

this child is depraved...



   

                   

on account he ain't had

a normal home.



   

                   

Hey, l'm depraved

on account l'm deprived!



   

                   

So take him to a headshrinker.

You!



   

                   

Who, me?



   

                   

My daddy beats my mommy

My mommy clobbers me



   

                   

My grandpa is a commie

My grandma pushes tea



   

                   

My sister wears a mustache

My brother wears a dress



   

                   

Goodness gracious

That's why l'm a mess



   

                   

Yes! Officer Krupke

he shouldn't be here



   

                   

This boy don't need a couch

He needs a useful career



   

                   

Society's played him

a terrible trick



   

                   

- And sociologically he's sick

- l am sick



   

                   

We are sick, we are sick

We are sick, sick, sick



   

                   

Like we're sociologically sick



   

                   

ln my opinion, this child does not need

to have his head shrunk at all.



   

                   

Juvenile delinquency

is purely a social disease.



   

                   

Hey, l got a social disease!



   

                   

Take him to a social worker.



   

                   

- Which way?

- That way.



   

                   

Dear kindly social worker



   

                   

They tell me

get a job



   

                   

Like be a soda-jerker

Which means like be a slob



   

                   

lt's not l'm antisocial

l'm only anti-work



   

                   

Gloryosky

That's why l'm a jerk



   

                   

Officer Krupke

you've done it again



   

                   

This boy don't need a job

He needs a year in the pen



   

                   

lt ain't just a question

of misunderstood



   

                   

- Deep down inside him he's no good

- l'm no good



   

                   

We're no good, we're no good

We're no earthly good



   

                   

Like the best of us

is no damn good



   

                   

- The trouble is he's lazy

- The trouble is he drinks



   

                   

- The trouble is he's crazy

- The trouble is he stinks



   

                   

- The trouble is he's growing

- The trouble is he's grown



   

                   

Krupke, we got troubles

of our own



   

                   

Gee, Officer Krupke

we're down on our knees



   

                   

'Cause no one wants a fella

with a social disease



   

                   

Gee, Officer Krupke

what are we to do



   

                   

Gee, Officer Krupke

Krup you



   

                   

Curfew, gentlemen,

and ladies.



   

                   

Aren't you up a little late,

Baby John?



   

                   

l got insomnia, Doc.

Too many worries.



   

                   

- Any of you seen Tony tonight?

- You bet ya we did.



   

                   

He was supposed to

clean up the store.



   

                   

So maybe he decided

to clean up the P.R.s instead.



   

                   

- Doc, you ain't gonna close up now?

- l'm not?



   

                   

- Listen, we got a war council here.

- A who?



   

                   

- To determine weapons.

- We gonna set up a mix with the P.R.s.



   

                   

Weapons.

You couldn't play basketball?



   

                   

Get with it, buster.



   

                   

You don't understand.

We got special business comin' here.



   

                   

- Makin' trouble for the Puerto Ricans?

- They make trouble for us.



   

                   

For you, trouble is a relief.



   

                   

We gotta stand up to 'em.

lt's important.



   

                   

Fightin' over a little piece

of street is so important?



   

                   

- To us it is.

- To hoodlums it is.



   

                   

- Who you callin' hoodlums?

- War councils--



   

                   

- Don't start, Doc.

- When l was your age--



   

                   

When you was my age?



   

                   

When my old man was my age--

my brother was my age.



   

                   

You was never my age,

none of ya.



   

                   

And the sooner you creeps get hip

to that, the sooner you'll dig us!



   

                   

l'll dig you an early grave,

that's what l'll dig.



   

                   

Dig, dig, dig.



   

                   

Okay, Doc, set 'em up.

Cokes all around.



   

                   

Let's get down to business.



   

                   

Bernardo hasn't learned

the procedures of gracious livin'.



   

                   

l don't like you either,

so cut it.



   

                   

- Kick it, Doc.

- Boys, couldn't you maybe talk--



   

                   

Kick it!



   

                   

We challenge you to a rumble.



   

                   

All out, once and for all.

Accept?



   

                   

- On what terms?

- Whatever terms you're callin'.



   

                   

You crossed the line

once too often.



   

                   

- You started it.

- Who jumped Baby John this afternoon?



   

                   

- Who jumped me first day l moved here?

- Who asked you to move here?



   

                   

- Move where you're wanted!

- Spics!



   

                   

- Mick!

- Wop!



   

                   

We accept.



   

                   

- Time.

- Tomorrow?



   

                   

After dark.



   

                   

- Place.

- The park?



   

                   

The river.



   

                   

Under the highway.



   

                   

- Weapons.

- Hey, Doc!



   

                   

Weapons.



   

                   

- You call.

- Your challenge.



   

                   

Afraid to call?



   

                   

Rocks.



   

                   

- Belts.

- Pipes.



   

                   

- Cans.

- Bricks.



   

                   

- Bats!

- Clubs!



   

                   

- Chains!

- Bottles, knives, guns!



   

                   

- What a coop full of chickens.

- Who you callin' chicken?



   

                   

- Every dog knows his own.

- l'm callin' you all chicken.



   

                   

Big tough buddy boys

gotta throw bricks, huh?



   

                   

Afraid to get in close?

Afraid to slug it out?



   

                   

- Afraid to use plain skin?

- Not even garbage?



   

                   

- That ain't a rumble.

- Who says?



   

                   

- You said call weapons.

- lt can be clinched by a fair fight.



   

                   

lf you've got the guts to risk that.

Best man from each gang to slug it out.



   

                   

l would enjoy to risk that.

Okay, fair fight.



   

                   

Wait a minute.

The commanders say yes or no.



   

                   

Fair fight.



   

                   

When l get through with you...



   

                   

you will be like a fish

after skinning.



   

                   

Your best man

fights our best man...



   

                   

and we pick him.



   

                   

- l thought l would be fighting--

- You shook on it.



   

                   

Yes, l shook on it.



   

                   

lf you wanna change your mind,

we can still--



   

                   

- Bernardo, would you like a cigarette?

- No, thank you. l don't smoke.



   

                   

Evening, Lieutenant.



   

                   

l and Tony was just closin' up.



   

                   

Well, now,

this is more like it, fellas.



   

                   

Warms me all over

to see you this way.



   

                   

And after only a couple of words from me

at the playground this afternoon.



   

                   

Oh, do you mind?



   

                   

l have no mind.

l'm the village idiot.



   

                   

Headquarters hears about this,

l may even get a promotion.



   

                   

Good deal all around,

huh, Bernardo?



   

                   

l get a promotion...



   

                   

and you Puerto Ricans

get what you've been itchin' for.



   

                   

Use of the playground,

use of the gym...



   

                   

the streets, the candy store.



   

                   

So what if they do turn this whole town

into a stinkin' pigsty?



   

                   

Don't stop him.

He wants to get home...



   

                   

write letters to San Juan,

tell 'em how he's got it made here.



   

                   

What l mean is, clear out!

l said, clear out!



   

                   

Oh, yeah, sure, l know.



   

                   

lt's a free country

and l ain't got the right.



   

                   

But l got a badge.



   

                   

What do you got?



   

                   

Things are tough all over.

Beat it!



   

                   

Okay, fellas.



   

                   

Where's the rumble gonna be?



   

                   

Come on. l know regular Americans

don't rub with the gold-teeth unless--



   

                   

- Look, Lieutenant--

- You shut your mouth!



   

                   

Come on, Baby John...



   

                   

before that smooth little kisser

of yours gets cut up for life.



   

                   

Now, where's it gonna be?



   

                   

The river?



   

                   

The park?



   

                   

Look, fellas, l'm for you.



   

                   

l want this beat cleaned up,

and you can do it for me.



   

                   

l'll even lend a hand

if things get rough.



   

                   

Now, where ya gonna rumble?



   

                   

The playground?



   

                   

Sweeney's lot?



   

                   

Why don't you get smart,

you stupid hooligans?



   

                   

l oughta take you to the station

and throw you in the can right now.



   

                   

You and the tinhorn

immigrant scum you come from!



   

                   

How's your old man's d.t.'s, A-rab?



   

                   

How's the action on your

mother's side of the street, Action?



   

                   

One of these days

there won't be anybody to hold ya.



   

                   

Get him outta here!

Come on!



   

                   

Don't worry, l'll find out

where it's gonna be.



   

                   

So be sure to finish each other off,

because if you don't, l will!



   

                   

Oh, yeah, sure.



   

                   

Understand 'em.



   

                   

That's what they keep tellin' me

down at headquarters: understand.



   

                   

Well, you try keeping hoodlums in line

and see what it does to you.



   

                   

lt wouldn't give me

a mouth like his.



   

                   

Come on, Doc.

Don't let it get ya.



   

                   

l'm sick.



   

                   

You heard.

lt's gonna be a fair fight.



   

                   

And that's gonna cure somethin'?



   

                   

From here on in,

everything's gonna be all right.



   

                   

- l got a feelin'.

- What have you been takin' tonight?



   

                   

A trip to the moon.



   

                   

And l'll tell ya a secret, Doc.

lt ain't a man that's up there.



   

                   

lt's a girl.



   

                   

A lady.



   

                   

So that's why you

made it a fair fight.



   

                   

l'm gonna see her tomorrow

and l can't wait.



   

                   

- Things aren't tough enough?

- Doc, l'm in love.



   

                   

- And you're not frightened?

- Should l be?



   

                   

No, l'm frightened enough

for the both of you.



   

                   

What has Chino done to her?



   

                   

Chino? Why Chino?



   

                   

Maybe she's just

dolling up for us.



   

                   

Rosalia, Consuelo...



   

                   

my adorable friends,

can you keep a secret?



   

                   

l'm hot for secrets.



   

                   

No, l won't tell you.



   

                   

- What?

- What?



   

                   

- The poor girl is out of her mind.

- l am-- crazy.



   

                   

She might be at that.

She looks somehow different.



   

                   

- l do?

- And l think she is up to something.



   

                   

l am?



   

                   

''l do?'' ''l am?''

She talks like a parrot.



   

                   

What is going on with you, Maria?



   

                   

l feel pretty

Oh, so pretty



   

                   

l feel pretty and witty and gay



   

                   

And l pity any girl

who isn't me today



   

                   

l feel charming

Oh, so charming



   

                   

lt's alarming how charming l feel



   

                   

And so pretty

That l hardly can believe l'm real



   

                   

See the pretty girl

in that mirror there



   

                   

Who can that attractive girl be



   

                   

Such a pretty face

Such a pretty dress



   

                   

Such a pretty smile

Such a pretty me



   

                   

l feel stunning

and entrancing



   

                   

Feel like running

and dancing for joy



   

                   

For l'm loved

by a pretty wonderful boy



   

                   

Have you met my good friend Maria



   

                   

The craziest girl on the block



   

                   

You'll know her

the minute you see her



   

                   

She's the one who is in

an advanced state of shock



   

                   

She thinks she's in love

She thinks she's in Spain



   

                   

She isn't in love

She's merely insane



   

                   

lt must be the heat

or some rare disease



   

                   

Or too much to eat

Or maybe it's fleas



   

                   

Keep away from her

Send for Chino



   

                   

This is not the Maria we know



   

                   

Modest and pure

polite and refined



   

                   

Well-bred and mature

and out of her mind



   

                   

Miss America!



   

                   

Miss America!

Bravo! Speech!



   

                   

l feel pretty

Oh, so pretty



   

                   

That the city

should give me its key



   

                   

A committee should be organized

to honor me



   

                   

l feel dizzy

l feel sunny



   

                   

l feel fizzy and funny and fine



   

                   

And so pretty

Miss America can just resign



   

                   

See the pretty girl

in that mirror there



   

                   

- What mirror where

- Who can that attractive girl be



   

                   

- Which, what, where, who

- Such a pretty face



   

                   

Such a pretty dress, such a pretty smile

Such a pretty me



   

                   

l feel stunning



   

                   

And entrancing



   

                   

Feel like running

and dancing for joy



   

                   

For l'm loved

by a pretty wonderful boy



   

                   

You want to sing, do it with needles,

or you'll be singing for your supper.



   

                   

But Madam Lucia, what can you expect?

We use Singer sewing machines.



   

                   

Sure. You make the bad joke home

where l can't hear it!



   

                   

Well, go now.

lt's closing time. Shoo!



   

                   

You pull down the shades,

pick up the pins...



   

                   

turn off the lights

and lock the doors.



   

                   

Oh, the jail is opened.



   

                   

l thought she'd never leave.



   

                   

lt's hard to believe that old bag

was once a young bag like us.



   

                   

Let's go before she

changes her mind and comes back.



   

                   

You go, querida.

l will lock up.



   

                   

- Why?

- l have work.



   

                   

- Do it tomorrow.

- l am in no hurry.



   

                   

l am. l'm going home now

and take a nice long bubble bath.



   

                   

Black Orchid.



   

                   

All over. l got a date with Nardo

after the rumble.



   

                   

What rumble?



   

                   

Oh, well, Nardo's Sharks

and those boys at the dance.



   

                   

They fight each other tonight?



   

                   

They don't play potsy.



   

                   

Why must they always fight?



   

                   

Well, you saw how they dance-- like

they gotta get rid of something quick.



   

                   

That's how they fight.



   

                   

To get rid of what?



   

                   

Too much feeling.

And they do get rid of it.



   

                   

Boy, after a fight,

that brother of yours is so healthy.



   

                   

Definitely: Black Orchid.



   

                   

''You go, querida.

l will lock up.''



   

                   

lt's too early for noches.

Buenas tardes.



   

                   

He just came from the drugstore

to deliver aspirin.



   

                   

- You'll need it.

- Not us.



   

                   

We're fine.

We're out of the world.



   

                   

You're out of your heads.



   

                   

- We're    feet in the air.

- Anita can see that.



   

                   

You will not tell?



   

                   

Tell what? How can l know

what goes on    feet over my head?



   

                   

You better be home in    minutes.



   

                   

lt's all right.

She likes us.



   

                   

But she is worried,

and so am l.



   

                   

- That's foolish.

- Are you going to that rumble tonight?



   

                   

- Why?

- You must go and stop it.



   

                   

l have stopped it. lt's only gonna be

a fistfight now between two of 'em.



   

                   

Any fight is no good for us.



   

                   

Everything is good for us.

We got magic.



   

                   

Listen, and hear me.



   

                   

You must go and stop it.



   

                   

lt means that much to you?



   

                   

l will, then.



   

                   

l believe you.

You do have magic.



   

                   

Of course.



   

                   

l've got you.



   

                   

And tonight, after l stop the rumble

that is no rumble, l'll come by for you.



   

                   

l will wait for you

on the roof.



   

                   

Not the roof.

l'll come to your house.



   

                   

You cannot.

My mama.



   

                   

- Then l'll take you to my house.

- Your mama.



   

                   

She'll come runnin' from the kitchen

to welcome ya. She lives in the kitchen.



   

                   

- Dressed so elegant?

- l told her you were comin'.



   

                   

She'll look at your face,

try not to smile, and say...



   

                   

''Skinny, but pretty.''



   

                   

She is plump, no doubt.



   

                   

Fat.



   

                   

l take after my mama--

delicate-boned.



    

                   

Not in front of Mama!



    

                   

l would like to see Papa in this.



    

                   

Mama will make him

ask about your prospects.



    

                   

Many.



    

                   

- lf you go to church.

- Oh, always.



    

                   

Yes, Papa might like you.



    

                   

- May l have your daughter's hand?

- He says yes.



    

                   

- And your mama?

- l'm afraid to ask her.



    

                   

Tell her she's not getting a daughter.

She's getting rid of a son.



    

                   

- She says yes.

- She has good taste.



    

                   

Here. Maid of honor.



    

                   

Oh, that color is bad for Anita.



    

                   

- The best man.

- That is my papa!



    

                   

Sorry, Papa.



    

                   

Here we go, Riff.

Womb to tomb.



    

                   

Now you see, Anita?

There was nothing to worry about.



    

                   

Look. Mama's cryin' already.



    

                   

l, Anton, take thee, Maria...



    

                   

l, Maria, take thee, Anton...



    

                   

for richer, for poorer...



    

                   

in sickness and in health...



    

                   

to love and to honor...



    

                   

to hold and to keep...



    

                   

from each sun to each moon...



    

                   

from tomorrow to tomorrow...



    

                   

from now to forever...



    

                   

till death do us part.



    

                   

With this ring, l thee wed.



    

                   

Make of our hands



    

                   

One hand



    

                   

Make of our hearts



    

                   

One heart



    

                   

Make of our vows



    

                   

One last vow



    

                   

Only death will



    

                   

Part us now



    

                   

Make of our lives



    

                   

One life



    

                   

Day after day



    

                   

One life



    

                   

Now it begins



    

                   

Now we start



    

                   

One hand



    

                   

One heart



    

                   

Even death



    

                   

Won't part



    

                   

Us now



    

                   

The Jets are gonna

have their day tonight



    

                   

The Jets are gonna

have their way tonight



    

                   

The Puerto Ricans grumble

Fair fight



    

                   

But if they start a rumble

We'll rumble 'em right



    

                   

We're gonna hand 'em

a surprise tonight



    

                   

We're gonna cut 'em

down to size tonight



    

                   

We said, okay, no rumpus

No tricks



    

                   

But just in case they jump us

We're ready to mix



    

                   

Tonight



    

                   

We're gonna rock it tonight



    

                   

We're gonna jazz it up

and have us a ball



    

                   

They're gonna get it tonight



    

                   

The more they turn it on

the harder they'll fall



    

                   

- Well, they began it

- Well, they began it



    

                   

And we're the ones to stop 'em

once and for all



    

                   

Tonight



    

                   

Anita's gonna get

her kicks tonight



    

                   

We'll have our private

little mix tonight



    

                   

He'll walk in hot and tired

Poor dear



    

                   

Don't matter if he's tired

as long as he's here



    

                   

Tonight, tonight



    

                   

Won't be just any night



    

                   

Tonight there will be

no morning star



    

                   

l'll see my love tonight



    

                   

And for us



    

                   

Stars will stop where they are



    

                   

Today the minutes seem like hours



    

                   

The hours go so slowly



    

                   

And still the sky is light



    

                   

Oh, moon

Grow bright



    

                   

And make this endless day



    

                   

Endless night



    

                   

The Jets are comin'

out on top tonight



    

                   

We're gonna watch

Bernardo drop tonight



    

                   

The Puerto Rican punk'll go down



    

                   

And when he's hollered uncle

We'll tear up the town



    

                   

- We'll be in back of you, boy

- Right



    

                   

- You're gonna flatten him good

- Right



    

                   

Tonight there will be

no morning star



    

                   

And then we'll

have us a ball tonight



    

                   

We're gonna rock it tonight



    

                   

We're gonna jazz it tonight



    

                   

We're gonna mix it tonight



    

                   

Today the minutes

seem like hours



    

                   

The hours go so slowly



    

                   

And still the sky is light



    

                   

We'll stop 'em once and for all



    

                   

The Sharks are gonna

have their way



    

                   

The Jets are gonna

have their day



    

                   

We're gonna rock it tonight



    

                   

Tonight



    

                   

Ready.



    

                   

- Now move in and shake hands.

- For what?



    

                   

Well, that's the way

it's done, buddy boy.



    

                   

More gracious living.



    

                   

Every one of you hates every one of us,

and we hate you right back.



    

                   

- Let's get at it.

- Sure.



    

                   

Hold it!



    

                   

Get with the gang.

lt's all okay.



    

                   

- No!

- What are you doin'?



    

                   

Maybe he has found the guts

to fight his own battles.



    

                   

lt don't take guts

if you got a battle.



    

                   

We ain't got one, none of us.

Okay, Nardo?



    

                   

Hold it!

Let's cool it.



    

                   

The deal is a fair fight

between you and lce. Get with the gang.



    

                   

Mother hen protecting the little one?

l'll give you a battle, gallito.



    

                   

- You've got one!

- l'll take pretty boy on as a warm-up.



    

                   

Afraid, pretty boy?

Afraid, gutless?



    

                   

- Afraid, chicken?

- Cut it!



    

                   

l don't want to.



    

                   

- l'm sure.

- Now listen to me.



    

                   

- Are you chicken?

- There's nothin' to fight about.



    

                   

- The hell there ain't!

- You got it wrong!



    

                   

- Why can't you understand?

- What do you say, chicken?



    

                   

Kill him, Tony.



    

                   

- Come on, man.

- Afraid to fight?



    

                   

- Let me see you fight.

- What's the matter?



    

                   

He's chicken, boy.



    

                   

He is chicken!



    

                   

- Hey, pretty boy.

- Bernardo, listen.



    

                   

Don't! Stop it!

We got nothin' to fight about.



    

                   

- You yellowbellied chicken!

- Don't push me!



    

                   

Come on,

you yellowbellied Pollack!



    

                   

- Riff, what are you doin'?

- Get outta here, Tony!



    

                   

Riff, don't!



    

                   

- Hold him!

- lce, let me go!



    

                   

Riff, don't!



    

                   

Keep outta this!



    

                   

Somebody stop him!



    

                   

Let me go!



    

                   

- Come on, Nardo!

- Stop him!



    

                   

Riff, don't!



    

                   

Get him!



    

                   

Tony, come on.

Come on, Tony.



    

                   

Gotta get outta here!

Come on!



    

                   

Come on, Tony.

Come on! Get outta here!



    

                   

Come on!



    

                   

Come on, Tony!



    

                   

Wait for me, Rosa.



    

                   

There was no one downstairs.



    

                   

My mother and father

are at the store.



    

                   

l didn't expect you to come by

or l would have waited down--



    

                   

You have been fighting, Chino?



    

                   

Yes. l am sorry.



    

                   

That is not like you.



    

                   

You must go home and wash up.



    

                   

- l will see you tomorrow.

- Maria, at the rumble--



    

                   

- There was no rumble.

- There was.



    

                   

- You are wrong.

- Nobody meant for it to happen.



    

                   

Tell me.



    

                   

lt is bad.



    

                   

Very bad?



    

                   

You see--



    

                   

lt will be easier

if you say it very fast.



    

                   

There was a fight...



    

                   

and Nardo--



    

                   

Somehow a knife--



    

                   

And Nardo and someone--



    

                   

What happened to Tony?



    

                   

Tell me!

ls Tony all right?



    

                   

He killed your brother!



    

                   

You are lying.



    

                   

Chino, why do you lie to me?



    

                   

Chino, you are lying! Lying!



    

                   

Why do you lie?



    

                   

Make it not be true.

Please make it not be true.



    

                   

Madre de Dios,

l will do anything.



    

                   

Make me die,

only please make it not be true.



    

                   

Make it not be--



    

                   

Killer! Killer! Killer!



    

                   

l tried to stop it.



    

                   

l did try.

l don't know what went wrong.



    

                   

l didn't mean to hurt him.

l didn't wanna.



    

                   

But Riff was like my brother.

When Bernardo killed him--



    

                   

Bernardo didn't

mean it either, l know.



    

                   

l thought you knew.



    

                   

l didn't come to tell you that.



    

                   

Just for you to forgive me

so l could go to the police.



    

                   

- lt'll be easy now.

- l won't let you.



    

                   

- l must.

- Stay with me.



    

                   

- Maria, l love you so much.

- Don't leave me.



    

                   

- Whatever you want, l'll do.

- Hold me.



    

                   

- Oh, forever.

- Tighter.



    

                   

We'll be all right,

l know it.



    

                   

We're really together now.



    

                   

But it's not us.



    

                   

lt's everything around us.



    

                   

Then l'll take you away,

where nothin' can get to us.



    

                   

Not anyone or anything.



    

                   

There's a place for us



    

                   

Somewhere a place for us



    

                   

Peace and quiet



    

                   

And open air



    

                   

Wait for us somewhere



    

                   

There's a time for us



    

                   

Someday a time for us



    

                   

Time together with time to spare



    

                   

Time to look



    

                   

Time to care someday



    

                   

Somewhere



    

                   

We'll find a new way of living



    

                   

We'll find a way of forgiving



    

                   

Somewhere



    

                   

There's a place for us



    

                   

A time and place for us



    

                   

Hold my hand

and we're halfway there



    

                   

Hold my hand

and l'll take you there



    

                   

Somehow



    

                   

Someday



    

                   

Somewhere



    

                   

Baby John,

what are ya doin' here?



    

                   

Nothin'.



    

                   

What are ya doin' nothin'

here for? Come on.



    

                   

l don't want the guys

to see me, A-rab.



    

                   

Why not?



    

                   

Well, l'm cryin'.



    

                   

You are?



    

                   

- What for?

- l don't know.



    

                   

Blow your nose.



    

                   

Did you get a look

at their faces?



    

                   

- Which faces?

- You know.



    

                   

At the rumble--

Riff and Bernardo.



    

                   

l wish it was yesterday.



    

                   

Me too.

l'm scared.



    

                   

Cut it out!

You hear me?



    

                   

What are we gonna do?



    

                   

We're gonna meet the other guys

and form up, that's what.



    

                   

Now come on.

Let's go.



    

                   

Do you got a handkerchief first?



    

                   

What's wrong with your sleeve?



    

                   

- Where ya been?

- Where do ya think? The Stork Club?



    

                   

- We thought they nabbed you.

- Go on.



    

                   

- You didn't see Tony, huh?

- No. Nothin' but coppers.



    

                   

- What's wrong with him?

- There's nothin' wrong with him.



    

                   

All right, all right.



    

                   

- Maybe we oughta go home.

- For what?



    

                   

- Bet ya they got him.

- Not Tony.



    

                   

He was great.

Huh, Baby John?



    

                   

Oh, yeah. He really

come through for the Jets.



    

                   

Just like Riff said he--



    

                   

Said he would.



    

                   

Riff! l want Riff!



    

                   

Come on, Graziella.



    

                   

Nobody was supposed

to get killed.



    

                   

lt just--



    

                   

- They're gonna pay.

- Them stinkin' Sharks.



    

                   

- Dirty fighting.

- They started it.



    

                   

- Why don't we finish it?

- Cool it.



    

                   

We gotta show 'em who's on top.

Let's do it now!



    

                   

Ain't we had enough?



    

                   

What's the matter?

You scared?



    

                   

- Who you callin' scared?

- Lay off of him.



    

                   

- Mind your own business.

- Don't sound off or l'll hit you.



    

                   

- You'll do what?

- Knock it off!



    

                   

Shut up down there,

you dirty good-for-nothin's!



    

                   

Go home where you belong!



    

                   

Who you callin' good-for-nothin',

you loudmouthed crud-head!



    

                   

-l'll put this through your stupid face!

-Get inside, all of ya!



    

                   

- Shut up!

- l don't take that from nobody!



    

                   

Next creep who sounds on me,

the next guy who gets in my craw--



    

                   

You'll laugh!



    

                   

Now you all better dig this

and dig it good.



    

                   

No matter who or what

is eatin' you...



    

                   

man, you show it

and you are dead!



    

                   

You are cuttin' a hole in yourselves for

them to stick in a red-hot umbrella...



    

                   

and open it wide.



    

                   

Man, you wanna get past the cops

when they start asking about tonight?



    

                   

You play it cool.



    

                   

You wanna live in this lousy world?

Play it cool.



    

                   

- l wanna get even!

- Get cool!



    

                   

- l wanna bust!

- Bust cool!



    

                   

- l wanna go!

- Go cool!



    

                   

Boy, boy

Crazy boy



    

                   

Get cool, boy



    

                   

Got a rocket in your pocket



    

                   

Keep cooly cool, boy



    

                   

Don't get hot

'Cause, man, you've got



    

                   

Some high times ahead



    

                   

Take it slow



    

                   

And Daddy-O

You can live it up and die in bed



    

                   

Boy, boy

Crazy boy



    

                   

Stay loose, boy



    

                   

Breeze it, buzz it

Easy does it



    

                   

Turn off the juice, boy



    

                   

Go, man, go



    

                   

But not like a yo-yo schoolboy



    

                   

Just play it cool, boy



    

                   

Real cool



    

                   

Easy, Action.



    

                   

Cool it, A-rab.

Cool it! Cool it!



    

                   

Cool!



    

                   

- Go!

- Crazy!



    

                   

Boy, boy

Crazy boy



    

                   

Stay loose, boy



    

                   

Breeze it, buzz it

Easy does it



    

                   

Turn off the juice, boy



    

                   

Just play it cool, boy



    

                   

Real cool



    

                   

Let's go.



    

                   

Where we goin'?



    

                   

lf we lay low, the coppers

are gonna smell fish, so we--



    

                   

- Hey, buddy boys!

- Aw, go wear a skirt.



    

                   

l got scabby knees.

Listen.



    

                   

- We act like we got nothin' to hide.

- Suppose they ask about the rumble?



    

                   

Supposin' they ask you where's Tony

and what party's lookin' for him...



    

                   

with a gun!



    

                   

You know somethin'?



    

                   

- l know l gotta go get a skirt.

- Come on, Anybodys.



    

                   

- What's the freak know?

- Plenty.



    

                   

l figured somebody oughta infiltrate

P.R. territory and spy around.



    

                   

l'm very large with shadows.



    

                   

l can slip in and out of 'em

like wind through a fence.



    

                   

- ls she ever makin' the most of it.

- You bet your fat A, l am!



    

                   

- Spill it!

- Okay!



    

                   

l hear Chino tell the Sharks somethin'

about Tony and Bernardo's sister.



    

                   

And then l hear Chino say...



    

                   

''lf it's the last thing l do,

l'm gonna get that Polack.''



    

                   

And then he pulls out

the bad news.



    

                   

- Them P.R.s won't stop.

- Till we stop 'em.



    

                   

Hold it!



    

                   

Now listen.



    

                   

Tony come through for us,

we gotta come through for Tony.



    

                   

- We gotta find him before Chino does.

- And burns him.



    

                   

You guys cover the river.

Snowboy, the docks.



    

                   

- l'll take the back alleys.

- l and Graziella will take the streets.



    

                   

- l'll cover the park.

- The schoolyard.



    

                   

- Let's go.

- What about me?



    

                   

You?



    

                   

ln and out of the shadows.

Maybe you'll find Tony in one of 'em.



    

                   

Right!



    

                   

Ya done good, buddy boy.



    

                   

Thanks, Daddy-O.



    

                   

Who is--



    

                   

Maria, it's Anita.

Are you in there?



    

                   

Open the door.

l need you.



    

                   

Now you are afraid, too?



    

                   

- What?

- l'll be right there.



    

                   

- Together.

- But where?



    

                   

The bus station. We'll go so far away

they'll never find us.



    

                   

- How can we?

- Doc'll help us with money.



    

                   

- You'll meet me at his store.

- At Doc's, yes.



    

                   

l'll wait for you there.



    

                   

Hurry.



    

                   

Coming, Anita.



    

                   

All right, now you know.



    

                   

And you still don't know.

He is one of them!



    

                   

A boy like that

would kill your brother



    

                   

Forget that boy

and find another



    

                   

One of your own kind

Stick to your own kind



    

                   

A boy like that

will give you sorrow



    

                   

You'll meet another boy tomorrow



    

                   

One of your own kind

Stick to your own kind



    

                   

A boy who kills cannot love



    

                   

A boy who kills has no heart



    

                   

And he's the boy

who gets your love



    

                   

And gets your heart



    

                   

Very smart, Maria

Very smart



    

                   

A boy like that

wants one thing only



    

                   

And when he's done

he'll leave you lonely



    

                   

He'll murder your love

He murdered mine



    

                   

Just wait and see

Just wait, Maria



    

                   

Oh, no, Anita, no



    

                   

lt isn't true

Not for me



    

                   

lt's true for you

Not for me



    

                   

l hear your words

And in my head l know they're smart



    

                   

But my heart, Anita

But my heart



    

                   

Knows they're wrong



    

                   

You should know better



    

                   

You were in love

Or so you said



    

                   

You should know better



    

                   

l have a love



    

                   

And it's all that l have



    

                   

Right or wrong



    

                   

What else can l do



    

                   

l love him



    

                   

l'm his



    

                   

And everything he is



    

                   

l am too



    

                   

l have a love



    

                   

And it's all that l need



    

                   

Right or wrong



    

                   

And he needs me too



    

                   

l love him



    

                   

We're one



    

                   

There's nothing to be done



    

                   

Not a thing l can do



    

                   

But hold him



    

                   

Hold him forever



    

                   

Be with him now



    

                   

Tomorrow



    

                   

And all



    

                   

Of my life



    

                   

When love comes so strong



    

                   

There is no right or wrong



    

                   

Your love is



    

                   

Your love



    

                   

Chino has a gun.



    

                   

l heard the boys talking.

He's hunting for Tony.



    

                   

He is at Doc's store,

waiting for me.



    

                   

lf Chino hurts him or touches him,

l swear to you l'll--



    

                   

You'll do what Tony

did to Bernardo?



    

                   

l love Tony.



    

                   

l know.



    

                   

l loved Bernardo.



    

                   

- Anybody home?

- Yes.



    

                   

- Bernardo's sister, please.

- She isn't feeling well.



    

                   

Who is?



    

                   

Hello, Miss.

l'm Lieutenant Schrank.



    

                   

l don't like to disturb you

at a time like this--



    

                   

Yes, a very bad time.



    

                   

- lf you will excuse me, please.

- l have a couple of questions.



    

                   

Afterwards, please.

l must go to my brother now.



    

                   

- Just one minute!

- Can't you wait?



    

                   

Now, you were at the dance

at the gym last night--



    

                   

Will this take very long?



    

                   

As long as it has to.



    

                   

Excuse me.



    

                   

Anita, my headache is much worse.



    

                   

Will you go to

Doc's store for me?



    

                   

Don't you people

keep aspirin around?



    

                   

This is something special.



    

                   

Will you go for me, Anita?



    

                   

What shall l ask for?



    

                   

Doc will know.



    

                   

Tell him l have been detained...



    

                   

and can't get there right away.



    

                   

Or l would have

picked it up myself.



    

                   

Excuse me.

You were asking?



    

                   

At the gym last night...



    

                   

your brother got into an argument

because you danced with the wrong boy.



    

                   

Who was the boy?



    

                   

Another from my country.



    

                   

And his name?



    

                   

Jose.



    

                   

- Can't find him.

- He ain't nowhere.



    

                   

- He's right down in the cellar.

- Safe and sound.



    

                   

- l found him.

- You warn him about Chino?



    

                   

- What's he doin' in the cellar?

- Keepin' the mice company.



    

                   

No sign of Chino?



    

                   

- Nothin'.

- His luck.



    

                   

l'll slip out the back

and check the alleys again.



    

                   

- You guys hang here.

- Right.



    

                   

Boy, l'm thirsty.

Where's Doc?



    

                   

Upstairs raisin'

getaway money for Tony.



    

                   

- Doc ain't got no money.

- His mattress has.



    

                   

Cut the frabbajabba.

Grab some readin' matter. Play the juke.



    

                   

Some of you get outside. lf you see

Chino or any of those stinkin' P.R.s--



    

                   

- l'd like to see Doc.

- He ain't here.



    

                   

Where is he?



    

                   

He went to the bank.

They made a mistake in his favor.



    

                   

The banks are closed at night.

Where is he?



    

                   

You know how skinny Doc is. He slipped

in through the night deposit slot.



    

                   

And got stuck halfway in.



    

                   

Which indicates, there's

no tellin' when he'll be back.



    

                   

Where ya goin'?



    

                   

Downstairs.



    

                   

Didn't l tell you?

He ain't here!



    

                   

l'd like to see for myself.



    

                   

Please.



    

                   

- Will you let me pass?

- She's too dark to pass.



    

                   

- Oh, don't.

- Please don't.



    

                   

- Listen, you!

- We're listenin'!



    

                   

Look. l gotta give

a friend of yours a message.



    

                   

- l gotta tell Tony--

- He ain't here.



    

                   

- l know he is.

- Who says?



    

                   

- Who's the message from?

- Never mind.



    

                   

Couldn't be from Chino,

could it?



    

                   

Don't you understand?

l want to help!



    

                   

- Bernardo's girl wants to help?

- Even a greaseball's got feelin's.



    

                   

But she wants to help get Tony.



    

                   

Not much,

Bernardo's tramp.



    

                   

- Bernardo's pig.

- You lyin' spic.



    

                   

- Don't do that!

- Gold tooth!



    

                   

- Pierced ear!

- Garlic mouth!



    

                   

Stop it!



    

                   

What are you doing there?



    

                   

Bernardo was right.



    

                   

lf one of you was

lying in the street...



    

                   

bleeding...



    

                   

l'd walk by and spit on you.



    

                   

-Don't let her go!

-She'll tell Chino Tony's in the cellar!



    

                   

Don't you touch me.



    

                   

l got a message

for your American buddy.



    

                   

You tell that murderer...



    

                   

that Maria's

never going to meet him.



    

                   

You tell him that Chino

found out about them...



    

                   

and shot her!



    

                   

She's dead.



    

                   

When do you kids stop?



    

                   

You make this world lousy.



    

                   

We didn't make it, Doc.



    

                   

Get outta here.



    

                   

Doc, l thought l heard--

You got it!



    

                   

Yeah, l got it.



    

                   

You're a pal.

You're the best friend a guy ever had.



    

                   

l'll pay you back

as soon as l can, l promise.



    

                   

- Forget that.

- Never. l couldn't.



    

                   

Doc, you know what we're gonna do

in the country, Maria and me?



    

                   

We're gonna have lots of kids,

and we're gonna name 'em after ya.



    

                   

That way,

when you come to visit us--



    

                   

Wake up!



    

                   

ls this the only way

to get through to you?



    

                   

Do just what you all do?

Bust like a hot water pipe?



    

                   

What's got into you?



    

                   

Why do you kids live

like there's a war on?



    

                   

Why do you kill?



    

                   

l told you how it happened.



    

                   

Maria understands.



    

                   

l thought you did too.



    

                   

Maria understands nothing...



    

                   

ever again.



    

                   

There is no Maria, Tony.



    

                   

What?



    

                   

- l can't.

- No, Doc!



    

                   

Now tell me!

What is it?



    

                   

That was Anita upstairs.



    

                   

Chino found out

about you and Maria...



    

                   

and he killed her.



    

                   

Maria died?



    

                   

Come and get me too, Chino!



    

                   

Come and get me too, Chino!



    

                   

- Who's that?

- lt's Anybodys. Come on.



    

                   

Get out of here!



    

                   

- Come and get me, damn you!

- What are ya doin'?



    

                   

- Get out of here!

- Why don't you come with me--



    

                   

lt ain't playin' anymore!

Can't any of you get that?



    

                   

- But the gang!

- You're a girl!



    

                   

Be a girl and beat it!



    

                   

Come on, Chino!

Get me too!



    

                   

Chino! l'm callin' for ya!



    

                   

There's nobody here but me.



    

                   

Come on!



    

                   

Please, will ya?



    

                   

l'm waitin' for ya.



    

                   

l want you to.



    

                   

l didn't believe hard enough.



    

                   

Loving is enough.



    

                   

Not here.

They won't let us be.



    

                   

Then we'll get away.



    

                   

- Yeah, we can.

- Yes.



    

                   

- We will.

- Yes.



    

                   

Hold my hand

and we're halfway there



    

                   

Hold my hand

and l'll take you there



    

                   

Somehow



    

                   

Someday



    

                   

Some--



    

                   

Stay back!



    

                   

How do you fire this gun, Chino?



    

                   

Just by pulling

this little trigger?



    

                   

How many bullets are left, Chino?



    

                   

Enough for you?



    

                   

And you?



    

                   

All of you!



    

                   

You all killed him.



    

                   

And my brother.

And Riff.



    

                   

Not with bullets and guns.



    

                   

With hate!



    

                   

Well, l can kill too,

because now l have hate!



    

                   

How many can l kill, Chino?



    

                   

How many, and still have

one bullet left for me?



    

                   

Don't you touch him!

Special help by SergeiK

2017-01-13 17:29:10 UTC

just the tip

2017-01-13 17:29:30 UTC

Shrek 2 Script

  

                   

[man's voice] Once upon a time

in a kingdom far, far away,



 

                   

the king and queen were blessed

with a beautiful baby girl.



 

                   

And throughout the land,

everyone was happy...



 

                   

until the sun went down



 

                   

and they saw that their daughter was

cursed with a frightful enchantment



 

                   

that took hold each and every night.



 

                   

Desperate, they sought the help

of a fairy godmother



 

                   

who had them lock the young princess

away in a tower,



 

                   

there to await the kiss...

of the handsome Prince Charming.



  

                   

[horse whinnies]



  

                   

It was he who would chance

the perilous journey



  

                   

through blistering cold

and scorching desert



  

                   

traveling for many days and nights,



  

                   

risking life and limb



  

                   

to reach the Dragon's keep.



  

                   

[crows caw]



  

                   

For he was the bravest,



  

                   

and most handsome...



  

                   

in all the land.



  

                   

And it was destiny that his kiss



  

                   

would break the dreaded curse.



  

                   

He alone would climb to the highest room

of the tallest tower



  

                   

to enter the princess's chambers,

cross the room to her sleeping silhouette,



  

                   

pull back the gossamer curtains

to find her... [gasps]



  

                   

What?



  

                   

- Princess... Fiona?

- No!



  

                   

[sighs relief] Oh, thank heavens.

Where is she?



  

                   

- She's on her honeymoon.

- Honeymoon? With whom?



  

                   

- She's on her honeymoon.

- Honeymoon? With whom?



  

                   

[  Counting Crows: Accidentally In Love]



  

                   

  So she said

what's the problem, baby?



  

                   

  What's the problem?

I don't know



  

                   

  Well, maybe I'm in love



  

                   

  Think about it

every time I think 'bout it



  

                   

  Can't stop thinking 'bout it



  

                   

  How much longer

will it take to cure this?



  

                   

  Just to cure it,

'cause I can't ignore it



  

                   

  If it's love, love



  

                   

  Makes me wanna turn around

and face me



  

                   

  But I don't know nothing

'bout love



  

                   

  Oh, come on, come on



  

                   

- [screams]

-   Turn a little faster



  

                   

  Come on, come on



  

                   

  The world will follow after



  

                   

  Come on, come on



  

                   

  Everybody's after love



  

                   

  So I said

I'm a snowball running



  

                   

  Running down into this spring

that's coming all this love



  

                   

  Melting under blue skies

belting out sunlight



  

                   

  Shimmering love



  

                   

  Well, baby, I surrender



  

                   

  To the strawberry ice cream



  

                   

  Never ever end of all this love



  

                   

  Well, I didn't mean to do it



  

                   

  But there's no escaping your love



  

                   

  These lines of lightning

mean we're never alone



  

                   

  Never alone, no, no



  

                   

  Come on, come on



  

                   

  Jump a little higher



  

                   

  Come on, come on



  

                   

  If you feel a little lighter



  

                   

  Come on, come on



  

                   

  We were once upon a time in love



  

                   

Hyah!



  

                   

  We're accidentally in love



  

                   

  Accidentally in love



  

                   

  Accidentally in love



  

                   

  Accidentally in love



  

                   

  Accidentally in love



  

                   

  Accidentally in love



  

                   

  Accidentally in love



  

                   

  Accidentally



  

                   

  I'm in love, I'm in love,

I'm in love, I'm in love



  

                   

  I'm in love, I'm in love



  

                   

  Accidentally in love



  

                   

  I'm in love



  

                   

  I'm in love  



  

                   

It's so good to be home!



  

                   

- [distant singing]

- [giggling]



  

                   

Just you and me and...



  

                   

[Donkey sings]



  

                   

-   Two can be as bad as one...  

- Donkey?



  

                   

Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two

a sight for sore eyes!



  

                   

Give us a hug, Shrek,

you old love machine.



  

                   

[chuckles]



  

                   

And look at you, Mrs. Shrek.

How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed?



  

                   

Donkey, what are you doing here?



  

                   

Taking care of your love nest for you.



  

                   

Oh, you mean like... sorting the mail

and watering the plants?



  

                   

- Yeah, and feeding the fish!

- I don't have any fish.



  

                   

You do now. I call that one Shrek

and the other Fiona.



  

                   

That Shrek is a rascally devil.

Get your...



  

                   

Look at the time.

I guess you'd better be going.



  

                   

Don't you want to tell me about your trip?

Or how about a game of Parcheesi?



  

                   

Actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be

getting home to Dragon?



  

                   

Oh, yeah, that.



  

                   

I don't know.

She's been all moody and stuff lately.



  

                   

I thought I'd move in with you.



  

                   

You know we're always happy

to see you, Donkey.



   

                   

But Fiona and I are married now.



   

                   

We need a little time, you know,

to be together.



   

                   

Just with each other.



   

                   

Alone.



   

                   

Say no more.

You don't have to worry about a thing.



   

                   

I will always be here to make sure

nobody bothers you.



   

                   

- Donkey!

- Yes, roomie?



   

                   

You're bothering me.



   

                   

Oh, OK. All right, cool. I guess...



   

                   

Me and Pinocchio was going to catch

a tournament, anyway, so...



   

                   

Maybe I'll see y'all Sunday

for a barbecue or something.



   

                   

He'll be fine.

Now, where were we?



   

                   

[giggles] Oh.



   

                   

I think I remember.



   

                   

- Donkey!

- [Fiona yelps]



   

                   

I know, I know! Alone!

I'm going! I'm going.



   

                   

What do you want me

to tell these other guys?



   

                   

[fanfare]



   

                   

[  theme to Hawaii Five-O]



   

                   

Enough, Reggie.



   

                   

[clears throat] "Dearest Princess Fiona.



   

                   

"You are hereby summoned

to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away



   

                   

"for a royal ball

in celebration of your marriage



   

                   

"at which time the King



   

                   

"will bestow his royal blessing...

upon you and your..."



   

                   

uh..."Prince Charming.



   

                   

"Love, the King and Queen

of Far, Far Away.



   

                   

"aka Mom and Dad."



   

                   

Mom and Dad?



   

                   

- Prince Charming?

- Royal ball? Can I come?



   

                   

- We're not going.

- [both] What?



   

                   

I mean, don't you think

they might be a bit...



   

                   

shocked to see you like this?



   

                   

[chuckles] Well, they might be

a bit surprised.



   

                   

But they're my parents, Shrek.

They love me.



   

                   

And don't worry.

They'll love you, too.



   

                   

Yeah, right.



   

                   

Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome

at the country club.



   

                   

Stop it.

They're not like that.



   

                   

How do you explain Sergeant Pompous

and the Fancy Pants Club Band?



   

                   

Oh, come on! You could at least

give them a chance.



   

                   

To do what?

Sharpen their pitchforks?



   

                   

No! They just want

to give you their blessing.



   

                   

Oh, great.

Now I need their blessing?



   

                   

If you want to be a part

of this family, yes!



   

                   

Who says I want

to be part of this family?



   

                   

You did!

When you married me!



   

                   

Well, there's some fine print for you!



   

                   

[exasperated sigh]

So that's it. You won't come?



   

                   

Trust me. It's a bad idea.

We are not going! And that's final!



   

                   

Come on!

We don't want to hit traffic!



   

                   

[Gingy] Don't worry!

We'll take care of everything.



   

                   

[all cheer]



   

                   

- Hey, wait for me. Oof!

- [glass breaks]



   

                   

[sighs]



   

                   

[  Chic: Le Freak]



   

                   

  Hit it! Move 'em on! Head 'em up!

Head 'em up, move 'em on! Head 'em up!



   

                   

  Rawhide! Move 'em on!

Head 'em up!



   

                   

  Move 'em on! Move 'em on!

Head 'em up! Rawhide!



   

                   

  Ride 'em up! Move 'em on!

Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Rawhide!



   

                   

  Knock 'em out! Pound 'em dead!

Make 'em tea! Buy 'em drinks!



   

                   

  Meet their mamas!

Milk 'em hard!



   

                   

  Rawhide!  

Yee-haw!



   

                   

- [Donkey] Are we there yet?

- [Shrek] No.



   

                   

- [Donkey] Are we there yet?

- [Fiona] Not yet.



   

                   

- [Donkey] OK, are we there yet?

- [Fiona] No.



   

                   

- [Donkey] Are we there yet?

- [Shrek] No!



   

                   

- [Donkey] Are we there yet?

- [Shrek] Yes.



   

                   

- Really?

- No!



   

                   

- Are we there yet?

- [Fiona] No!



   

                   

- Are we there yet?

- [Shrek] We are not!



   

                   

- Are we there yet?

- [Shrek & Fiona] No!



   

                   

- Are we there yet?

- [Shrek mimics]



   

                   

- That's not funny. That's really immature.

- [Shrek mimics]



   

                   

- This is why nobody likes ogres.

- [Shrek mimics]



   

                   

- Your loss!

- [Shrek mimics]



   

                   

- I'm gonna just stop talking.

- Finally!



   

                   

This is taking forever, Shrek.

There's no in-flight movie or nothing!



   

                   

The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey.



   

                   

That's where we're going.

Far, far...



   

                   

[softly] away!



   

                   

All right, all right, I get it.

I'm just so darn bored.



   

                   

Well, find a way

to entertain yourself.



   

                   

[sighs]



   

                   

[deep sigh]



   

                   

[clicks tongue]



   

                   

[popping]



   

                   

- [popping]

- [exasperated sigh]



   

                   

For five minutes...



   

                   

Could you not be yourself...



   

                   

[shouts]... for five minutes!



   

                   

- [popping]

- [shrieks]



   

                   

Are we there yet?



   

                   

- [chuckles] Yes!

- Oh, finally!



   

                   

[fanfare]



   

                   

[  Lipps, Inc: Funkytown]



   

                   

Wow!



   

                   

It's going to be champagne wishes

and caviar dreams from now on.



   

                   

Hey, good-looking!

We'll be back to pick you up later!



   

                   

  Gotta make a move

to a town that's right for me



   

                   

We are definitely not

in the swamp anymore.



   

                   

[whistle] Halt!



   

                   

  Well, I talk about it, talk about it,

talk about it, talk about it



   

                   

Hey, everyone, look.



   

                   

  Talk about, talk about movin'...  



   

                   

Hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade, huh?

You working that hat.



   

                   

[Donkey] Swimming pools!

Movie stars!



   

                   

[cheering]



   

                   

[applause]



   

                   

[fanfare]



   

                   

Announcing the long-awaited return



   

                   

of the beautiful Princess Fiona

and her new husband.



   

                   

Well, this is it.



   

                   

- This is it.

- This is it.



   

                   

This is it.



   

                   

[fanfare]



   

                   

[fanfare and cheering stop]



   

                   

[gasps]



   

                   

[tweeting]



   

                   

[baby wails]



   

                   

Uh... why don't you guys go ahead?

I'll park the car.



   

                   

[chuckles] So...



   

                   

you still think

this was a good idea?



   

                   

Of course! Look.

Mom and Dad look happy to see us.



   

                   

- [softly] Who on earth are they?

- [softly] I think that's our little girl.



   

                   

That's not little!

That's a really big problem.



   

                   

Wasn't she supposed to kiss

Prince Charming and break the spell?



   

                   

Well, he's no Prince Charming,

but they do look...



   

                   

[softly] Happy now?

We came. We saw them.



   

                   

Now let's go before

they light the torches.



   

                   

- They're my parents.

- Hello? They locked you in a tower.



   

                   

That was for my own...



   

                   

Good! Here's our chance. Let's go

back inside and pretend we're not home.



   

                   

Harold, we have to be...



   

                   

Quick! While they're not looking

we can make a run for it.



   

                   

Shrek, stop it!

Everything's gonna be...



   

                   

A disaster! There is no way...



   

                   

- You can do this.

- I really...



   

                   

- Really...

- don't... want... to... be...



   

                   

Here!



   

                   

Mom... Dad...



   

                   

I'd like you to meet my husband...



   

                   

Shrek.



   

                   

Well, um...



   

                   

It's easy to see where Fiona

gets her good looks from.



   

                   

[chuckles nervously]



   

                   

[gulps]



   

                   

[belches]



   

                   

- Excuse me.

- [Shrek & Fiona laugh]



   

                   

Better out than in,

I always say, eh, Fiona?



   

                   

[both giggle]



   

                   

[Shrek] That's good.



   

                   

I guess not.



   

                   

What do you mean, "not on the list"?

Don't tell me you don't know who I am.



   

                   

What do you mean, "not on the list"?

Don't tell me you don't know who I am.



   

                   

What's happening, everybody?

Thanks for waiting.



   

                   

- I had the hardest time finding this place.

- No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Down!



   

                   

No, Dad! It's all right.

It's all right. He's with us.



   

                   

- He helped rescue me from the dragon.

- That's me: the noble steed.



   

                   

Waiter!

How 'bout a bowl for the steed?



   

                   

Oh, boy.



   

                   

[slurps]



   

                   

- Um, Shrek?

- Yeah?



   

                   

Oh, sorry!

Great soup, Mrs Q.



   

                   

Mmm!



   

                   

No, no. Darling.



   

                   

[chuckles nervously] Oh!



   

                   

So, Fiona, tell us

about where you live.



   

                   

Well...



   

                   

Shrek owns his own land.



   

                   

- Don't you, honey?

- Oh, yes!



   

                   

It's in an enchanted forest



   

                   

abundant in squirrels

and cute little duckies and...



   

                   

[laughing] What?



   

                   

I know you ain't

talking about the swamp.



   

                   

An ogre from a swamp.

Oh! How original.



   

                   

I suppose that would be a fine place

to raise the children.



   

                   

- [splutters]

- [chokes]



   

                   

It's a bit early to be

thinking about that, isn't it?



   

                   

- Indeed. I just started eating.

- Harold!



   

                   

- What's that supposed to mean?

- Dad. It's great, OK?



   

                   

- For his type, yes.

- My type?



   

                   

I got to go to the bathroom.



   

                   

- Dinner is served!

- Never mind. I can hold it.



   

                   

Bon appetit!



   

                   

Oh, Mexican food!

My favorite.



   

                   

Let's not sit here with our tummies

rumbling. Everybody dig in.



   

                   

Don't mind if I do, Lillian.



   

                   

I suppose any grandchildren

I could expect from you would be...



   

                   

Ogres, yes!



   

                   

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Right, Harold?



   

                   

Oh, no! No! Of course, not!



   

                   

That is, assuming you don't

eat your own young!



   

                   

Dad!



   

                   

No, we usually prefer the ones

who've been locked away in a tower!



   

                   

- Shrek, please!

- I only did that because I love her.



   

                   

Aye, day care

or dragon-guarded castle.



   

                   

You wouldn't understand.

You're not her father!



   

                   

It's so nice to have the family

together for dinner.



   

                   

- Harold!

- Shrek!



   

                   

- Fiona!

- Fiona!



   

                   

- Mom!

- Harold...



   

                   

Donkey!



   

                   

[glissando]



   

                   

  Your fallen tears have called to me



   

                   

  So, here comes my sweet remedy



   

                   

  I know what every princess needs



   

                   

  For her to live life happily...  



   

                   

[both gasp]



   

                   

Oh, my dear.

Oh, look at you.



   

                   

You're all grown up.



   

                   

- Who are you?

- Oh, sweet pea!



   

                   

I'm your fairy godmother.



   

                   

- I have a fairy godmother?

- Shush, shush.



   

                   

Now, don't worry.

I'm here to make it all better.



   

                   

With just a...



   

                   

  Wave of my magic wand

Your troubles will soon be gone



   

                   

  With a flick of the wrist and just a flash

You'll land a prince with a ton of cash



   

                   

  A high-priced dress

made by mice no less



   

                   

  Some crystal glass pumps

And no more stress



   

                   

  Your worries will vanish,

your soul will cleanse



   

                   

  Confide in your very own

furniture friends



   

                   

  We'll help you set a new fashion trend



   

                   

-   I'll make you fancy, I'll make you great

-   The kind of girl a prince would date!



   

                   

  They'll write your name

on the bathroom wall...



   

                   

  "For a happy ever after,

give Fiona a call!"



   

                   

  A sporty carriage to ride in style,

Sexy man boy chauffeur, Kyle



   

                   

  Banish your blemishes, tooth decay,

Cellulite thighs will fade away



   

                   

  And oh, what the hey!

Have a bichon frisé! '



   

                   

  Nip and tuck, here and there

to land that prince with the perfect hair



   

                   

  Lipstick liners, shadows blush

To get that prince with the sexy tush



   

                   

  Lucky day, hunk buffet

You and your prince take a roll in the hay



   

                   

  You can spoon on the moon

With the prince to the tune



   

                   

  Don't be drab, you'll be fab

Your prince will have rock-hard abs



   

                   

  Cheese soufflé, Valentine's Day

Have some chicken fricassee!



   

                   

  Nip and tuck, here and there

To land that prince with the perfect hair  



   

                   

Stop!



   

                   

[chuckles] Look...



   

                   

Thank you very much,

Fairy Godmother,



   

                   

but I really don't need all this.



   

                   

[gasps and mutterings of disapproval]



   

                   

- Fine. Be that way.

- We didn't like you, anyway.



   

                   

- [knocking]

- [Shrek] Fiona? Fiona?



   

                   

[dog barks]



   

                   

Oh! You got a puppy?

All I got in my room was shampoo.



   

                   

Oh, uh...



   

                   

Fairy Godmother, furniture...



   

                   

[giggles]



   

                   

I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek.



   

                   

Your husband? What? What did you say?

When did this happen?



   

                   

Shrek is the one who rescued me.



   

                   

- But that can't be right.

- Oh, great, more relatives!



   

                   

She's just trying to help.



   

                   

Good! She can help us pack.

Get your coat, dear. We're leaving.



   

                   

- What?

- I don't want to leave.



   

                   

When did you decide this?



   

                   

- Shortly after arriving.

- Look, I'm sorry...



   

                   

No, that's all right.

I need to go, anyway.



   

                   

But remember, dear.

If you should ever need me...



   

                   

happiness...



   

                   

is just a teardrop away.



   

                   

Thanks, but we've got all

the happiness we need.



   

                   

Happy, happy, happy...



   

                   

[laughs] So I see.



   

                   

Let's go, Kyle.



   

                   

- Very nice, Shrek.

- What?



   

                   

I told you coming here was a bad idea.



   

                   

You could've at least tried

to get along with my father.



   

                   

I don't think I was going to get

Daddy's blessing,



   

                   

even if I did want it.



   

                   

Do you think it might be nice

if somebody asked me what I wanted?



   

                   

Sure. Do you want me

to pack for you?



   

                   

You're unbelievable!

You're behaving like a...



   

                   

- Go on! Say it!

- Like an ogre!



   

                   

Here's a news flash for you!



   

                   

Whether your parents like it or not...

I am an ogre!



   

                   

- [yelps]

- [roars]



   

                   

And guess what, Princess?

That's not about to change.



   

                   

I've made changes for you, Shrek.

Think about that.



   

                   

That's real smooth, Shrek.

"I'm an ogre!"



   

                   

[mimics Shrek roaring]



   

                   

[sniffling]



   

                   

I knew this would happen.



   

                   

[Lillian] You should.

You started it.



   

                   

I can hardly believe that, Lillian.

He's the ogre. Not me.



   

                   

I think, Harold, you're taking this

a little too personally.



   

                   

This is Fiona's choice.



   

                   

But she was supposed to choose

the prince we picked for her.



   

                   

I mean, you expect me to give

my blessings to this... thing?



   

                   

Fiona does.

And she'll never forgive you if you don't.



   

                   

I don't want to lose

our daughter again, Harold.



   

                   

Oh, you act as if love

is totally predictable.



   

                   

Don't you remember when

we were young?



   

                   

We used to walk

down by the lily pond and...



   

                   

- they were in bloom...

- Our first kiss.



   

                   

It's not the same!



   

                   

I don't think you realize that

our daughter has married a monster!



   

                   

Oh, stop being such a drama king.



   

                   

Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong!



   

                   

La, di, da, di, da!

Isn't it all wonderful!



   

                   

I'd like to know

how it could get any worse!



   

                   

- Hello, Harold.

- [gasps]



   

                   

- What happened?

- Nothing, dear!



   

                   

Just the old crusade wound

playing up a bit!



   

                   

[chuckles]



   

                   

I'll just stretch it

out here for a while.



   

                   

You better get in.

We need to talk.



   

                   

Actually, Fairy Godmother,

off to bed.



   

                   

[yawns] Already taken my pills,

and they tend to make me a bit drowsy.



   

                   

So, how about... we make this

a quick visit. What?



   

                   

Oh, hello.

Ha-ha-ha!



   

                   

So, what's new?



   

                   

You remember my son,

Prince Charming?



   

                   

Is that you? My gosh!

It's been years.



   

                   

When did you get back?



   

                   

Oh, about five minutes ago, actually.



   

                   

After I endured blistering winds,

scorching desert...



   

                   

I climbed to the highest room

in the tallest tower...



   

                   

Mommy can handle this.



   

                   

He endures blistering winds

and scorching desert!



   

                   

He climbs to the highest bloody room

of the tallest bloody tower...



   

                   

And what does he find?



   

                   

Some gender-confused wolf

telling him that his princess



   

                   

is already married.



   

                   

It wasn't my fault.

He didn't get there in time.



   

                   

Stop the car!



   

                   

[crash]



   

                   

Harold.



   

                   

You force me to do something

I really don't want to do.



   

                   

[gasps] Where are we?



   

                   

Hi. Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy!

May I take your order?



   

                   

My diet is ruined!

I hope you're happy. Er... okay.



   

                   

Two Renaissance Wraps,

no mayo... chili rings...



   

                   

- I'll have the Medieval Meal.

- One Medieval Meal and, Harold...



   

                   

- Curly fries?

- No, thank you.



   

                   

- Sourdough soft taco, then?

- No, really, I'm fine.



   

                   

Your order, Fairy Godmother.

This comes with the Medieval Meal.



   

                   

There you are, dear.



   

                   

We made a deal, Harold, and I assume

you don't want me to go back on my part.



   

                   

[sighs deeply] Indeed not.



   

                   

So, Fiona and Charming will be together.



   

                   

- Yes.

- Believe me, Harold. It's what's best.



   

                   

Not only for your daughter...



   

                   

but for your Kingdom.



   

                   

What am I supposed to do about it?



   

                   

Use your imagination.



   

                   

[whooshing]



   

                   

[whinnies]



   

                   

Oh...



   

                   

Come on in, Your Majesty.



   

                   

[piano plays, people talk]



   

                   

  I like my town



   

                   

  With a little drop of poison



   

                   

  Nobody knows...



   

                   

[barman belches]



   

                   

[clears throat] Excuse me.



   

                   

Do I know you?



   

                   

No, you must be mistaking me

for someone else.



   

                   

Uh... excuse me.

I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister.



   

                   

Ah! There you are. Right.



   

                   

You see, I need to have

someone taken care of.



   

                   

- Who's the guy?

- Well, he's not a guy, per se.



   

                   

Um... He's an ogre.



   

                   

[crowd gasp]



   

                   

Hey, buddy, let me clue you in.



   

                   

There's only one fellow who can handle

a job like that, and, frankly...



   

                   

he don't like to be disturbed.



   

                   

he don't like to be disturbed.



   

                   

Where could I find him?



   

                   

[knock on door]



   

                   

Hello?



   

                   

Who dares enter my room?



   

                   

Sorry! I hope I'm not interrupting, but

I'm told you're the one to talk to



   

                   

about an ogre problem?



   

                   

You are told correct.



   

                   

But for this, I charge

a great deal of money.



   

                   

Would... this be enough?



   

                   

You have engaged my valuable

services, Your Majesty.



   

                   

Just tell me where

I can find this ogre.



   

                   

[  Eels: I Need Some Sleep]



   

                   

[snoring]



   

                   

[chimes]



   

                   

  Everyone says

I'm getting down too low



   

                   

  Everyone says

you've just gotta let it go



   

                   

  You just gotta let it go



   

                   

  I need some sleep



   

                   

  Time to put the old horse down



   

                   

  I'm in too deep



   

                   

  And the wheels keep spinning round



   

                   

  Everyone says

you've just gotta let it go  



   

                   

  Everyone says

you've just gotta let it go  



   

                   

Dear Knight, I pray that you take

this favor as a token of my gratitude.



   

                   

[plays tune]



   

                   

Dear Diary...



   

                   

Sleeping Beauty is having

a slumber party tomorrow,



   

                   

but Dad says I can't go.

He never lets me out after sunset.



   

                   

Dad says I'm going away for a while.



   

                   

Must be like some finishing school.



   

                   

Mom says that when I'm old enough,



   

                   

my Prince Charming will rescue me

from my tower



   

                   

and bring me back to my family,



   

                   

and we'll all live

happily ever after.



   

                   

Mrs. Fiona Charming.



   

                   

Mrs. Fiona Charming.



   

                   

Mrs. Fiona Charming.



   

                   

[echoing] Mrs. Fiona Charming.



   

                   

[knock on door]



   

                   

Sorry. I hope I'm not

interrupting anything.



   

                   

No, no. I was just reading a, uh...

a scary book.



   

                   

I was hoping you'd let me apologize

for my despicable behavior earlier.



   

                   

- Okay...

- I don't know what came over me.



   

                   

Do you suppose we could pretend

it never happened and start over...



   

                   

- Look, Your Majesty, I just...

- Please. Call me Dad.



   

                   

Dad. We both acted like ogres.



   

                   

Maybe we just need some time

to get to know each other.



   

                   

Excellent idea! I was actually hoping

you might join me for a morning hunt.



   

                   

A little father-son time?



   

                   

I know it would mean

the world to Fiona.



   

                   

[sighs]



   

                   

Shall we say,

 :   by the old oak?



   

                   

[birds twitter]



   

                   

[Shrek] Face it, Donkey!

We're lost.



   

                   

We can't be lost. We followed

the King's instructions exactly.



   

                   

"Head to the

darkest part of the woods..."



   

                   

"Past the sinister trees

with scary-looking branches."



   

                   

- The bush shaped like Shirley Bassey!

- We passed that three times already!



   

                   

You were the one who said

not to stop for directions.



   

                   

Oh, great. My one chance

to fix things up with Fiona's dad



   

                   

and I end up lost

in the woods with you!



   

                   

Don't get huffy!

I'm only trying to help.



   

                   

I know! I know.



   

                   

- I'm sorry, all right?

- Hey, don't worry about it.



   

                   

I just really need to make

things work with this guy.



   

                   

Yeah, sure. Now let's go

bond with Daddy.



   

                   

[purring]



   

                   

[purring]



   

                   

Well, well, well, Donkey.



   

                   

I know it was kind of a tender

moment back there, but the purring?



   

                   

What? I ain't purring.



   

                   

Sure. What's next? A hug?



   

                   

Hey, Shrek. Donkeys don't purr.

What do you think I am, some kind of a...



   

                   

Ha-ha!

Fear me, if you dare!



   

                   

[hisses]



   

                   

Look! A little cat.



   

                   

- Look out, Shrek! He got a piece!

- It's a cat, Donkey.



   

                   

Come here,

little kitty, kitty.



   

                   

Come on, little kitty. Come here.

Oh! Come here, little kitty.



   

                   

- [screaming]

- Whoa!



   

                   

- Hold on, Shrek! I'm coming!

- Come on! Get it off! Get it off!



   

                   

Oh, God. Oh...



   

                   

No!



   

                   

- Look out, Shrek! Hold still!

- Get it off!



   

                   

Shrek! Hold still!



   

                   

- Did I miss?

- No. You got them.



   

                   

Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from...



   

                   

Puss... in Boots!



   

                   

I'll kill that cat!



   

                   

Ah-ha-ha!



   

                   

[coughs]



   

                   

[wheezes]



   

                   

[retches]



   

                   

[coughs]



   

                   

- [chuckles] Hairball.

- Oh! That is nasty!



   

                   

What should we do with him?



   

                   

Take the sword and neuter him.

Give him the Bob Barker treatment.



   

                   

Oh, no! Por favor!

Please!



   

                   

I implore you!

It was nothing personal, Señor.



   

                   

I was doing it only for my family.



   

                   

My mother, she is sick.

And my father lives off the garbage!



   

                   

The King offered me much in gold

and I have a litter of brothers...



   

                   

Whoa, whoa, whoa!



   

                   

Fiona's father paid you to do this?



   

                   

The rich King? Sí.



   

                   

[screams]



   

                   

Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing.



   

                   

Don't feel bad. Almost everybody

that meets you wants to kill you.



   

                   

Gee, thanks.



   

                   

Maybe Fiona would've been better off

if I were some sort of Prince Charming.



   

                   

That's what the King said.



   

                   

Oh, uh... sorry. I thought that question

was directed at me.



   

                   

Shrek, Fiona knows

you'd do anything for her.



   

                   

Well, it's not like

I wouldn't change if I could.



   

                   

I just... I just wish

I could make her happy.



   

                   

Hold the phone...



   

                   

"Happiness."



   

                   

"A tear drop away."



   

                   

Donkey! Think of the saddest thing

that's ever happened to you!



   

                   

Aw, man, where do I begin?



   

                   

First there was the time that old farmer

tried to sell me for some magic beans.



   

                   

Then this fool had a party and he have

the guests trying to pin the tail on me.



   

                   

Then they got drunk and start beating me

with a stick, going "Piñata!!"



   

                   

What is a piñata, anyway?



   

                   

No, Donkey! I need you to cry!



   

                   

Don't go projecting on me.



   

                   

I know you're feeling bad,

but you got to...



   

                   

Aaaahhh!



   

                   

You little, hairy,

litter-licking sack of...



   

                   

What? Is it on? Is it on?



   

                   

[clears throat]



   

                   

This is Fairy Godmother.



   

                   

I'm either away

from my desk or with a client.



   

                   

But if you come by the office, we'll be

glad to make you an appointment.



   

                   

Have a "happy ever after."



   

                   

Oh...



   

                   

Are you up for a little quest, Donkey?



   

                   

That's more like it! Shrek and Donkey,

on another whirlwind adventure!



   

                   

  Ain't no stoppin' us now! Whoo!

We're on the move!



   

                   

- Stop, Ogre! I have misjudged you.

- Join the club. We've got jackets.



   

                   

On my honor, I am obliged to accompany

you until I have saved your life



   

                   

as you have spared me mine.



   

                   

The position of annoying talking animal

has already been taken.



   

                   

Let's go, Shrek. Shrek?



   

                   

- Shrek!

- Aw, come on, Donkey. Look at him...



   

                   

in his wee little boots.



   

                   

You know, how many cats can wear boots?

Honestly.



   

                   

- Let's keep him!

- Say what?



   

                   

[purrs]



   

                   

Ahh!



   

                   

Listen. He's purring!



   

                   

- Oh, so now it's cute.

- Come on, Donkey. Lighten up.



   

                   

Lighten up? I should lighten up?

Look who's telling who to lighten up!



   

                   

Lighten up? I should lighten up?

Look who's telling who to lighten up!



   

                   

[giggles] Shrek!



   

                   

[barks]



   

                   

[barks]



   

                   

Shrek?



   

                   

They're both festive, aren't they?



   

                   

What do you think, Harold?



   

                   

Um... Yes, yes.

Fine. Fine.



   

                   

[sighs]



   

                   

Try to at least pretend you're interested

in your daughter's wedding ball.



   

                   

Honestly, Lillian,

I don't think it matters.



   

                   

How do we know there will

even be a ball?



   

                   

Mom. Dad.



   

                   

- Oh, hello, dear.

- What's that, Cedric? Right! Coming.



   

                   

Mom, have you seen Shrek?



   

                   

I haven't.

You should ask your father.



   

                   

Be sure and use small words, dear.

He's a little slow this morning.



   

                   

- Can I help you, Your Majesty?

- Ah, yes! Um...



   

                   

Mmm! Exquisite.

What do you call this dish?



   

                   

That would be the dog's breakfast,

Your Majesty.



   

                   

Ah, yes. Very good, then.

Carry on, Cedric.



   

                   

- Dad? Dad, have you seen Shrek?

- No, I haven't, dear.



   

                   

I'm sure he just went off to look for

a nice... mud hole to cool down in.



   

                   

You know, after your

little spat last night.



   

                   

Oh. You heard that, huh?



   

                   

The whole kingdom heard you.



   

                   

I mean, after all,

it is in his nature to be...



   

                   

well, a bit of a brute.



   

                   

Him? You know, you didn't exactly

roll out the Welcome Wagon.



   

                   

Well, what did you expect?

Look at what he's done to you.



   

                   

Shrek loves me for who I am.



   

                   

I would think you'd be happy for me.



   

                   

Darling, I'm just thinking about

what's best for you.



   

                   

Maybe you should do the same.



   

                   

[both whisper]



   

                   

No, really?



   

                   

[both laugh]



   

                   

[Shrek] Shh...



   

                   

Oh...



   

                   

[hooter blasts]



   

                   

Oh, no. That's the old Keebler's place.

Let's back away slowly.



   

                   

That's the Fairy Godmother's cottage.



   

                   

She's the largest producer of hexes

and potions in the whole kingdom.



   

                   

Then why don't we pop in there

for a spell? Ha-ha! Spell!



   

                   

[Puss in Boots

shrieks with laughter]



   

                   

[Puss in Boots] He makes me laugh.



   

                   

Hi. I'm here to see the...



   

                   

The Fairy Godmother.

I'm sorry. She is not in.



   

                   

Jerome!

Coffee and a Monte Cristo. Now!



   

                   

[sighs]



   

                   

Yes, Fairy Godmother.

Right away.



   

                   

Look, she's not seeing

any clients today, OK?



   

                   

That's OK, buddy.

We're from the union.



   

                   

The union?



   

                   

We represent the workers in all magical

industries, both evil and benign.



   

                   

Oh! Oh, right.



   

                   

Are you feeling at all

degraded or oppressed?



   

                   

Uh... a little.

We don't even have dental.



   

                   

They don't even have dental.



   

                   

Okay, we'll just have

a look around.



   

                   

Oh. By the way.



   

                   

I think it'd be better if the Fairy Godmother

didn't know we were here.



   

                   

- Know what I'm saying? Huh?

- Huh? Huh? Huh?



   

                   

- Stop it.

- Of course. Go right in.



   

                   

[voices and grinding machines]



   

                   

[explosion]



   

                   

A drop of desire.



   

                   

[giggles] Naughty!



   

                   

A pinch of passion.



   

                   

[laughs]



   

                   

And just a hint of...



   

                   

lust!



   

                   

[laughs]



   

                   

- [Shrek] Excuse me.

- [gasps]



   

                   

Sorry to barge in like this...



   

                   

What in Grimm's name

are you doing here?



   

                   

Well, it seems

that Fiona's not exactly happy.



   

                   

Oh-ho-ho!



   

                   

And there's some question

as to why that is?



   

                   

Well, let's explore that, shall we?



   

                   

Ah. P, P, P...

Princess. Cinderella.



   

                   

Here we are.

"Lived happily ever after." Oh...



   

                   

[laughs] No ogres!



   

                   

Let's see. Snow White.



   

                   

A handsome prince.

Oh, no ogres.



   

                   

Sleeping Beauty. Oh, no ogres!



   

                   

Hansel and Gretel? No!

Thumbelina? No.



   

                   

The Golden Bird,

the Little Mermaid, Pretty Woman...



   

                   

No, no, no, no, no!



   

                   

You see, ogres don't

live happily ever after.



   

                   

All right, look, lady!



   

                   

Don't you point...

those dirty green sausages at me!



   

                   

Your Monte Cristo and coffee.



   

                   

Oh! Sorry.



   

                   

Ah... that's okay.



   

                   

We were just leaving.



   

                   

Very sorry to have wasted your time,

Miss Godmother.



   

                   

Just... go.



   

                   

Come on, guys.



   

                   

[whistles tune]



   

                   

TGIF, eh, buddy?



   

                   

Working hard or hardly working,

eh, Mac?



   

                   

Get your fine Corinthian footwear

and your cat cheeks out of my face!



   

                   

Man, that stinks!



   

                   

You don't exactly smell like

a basket of roses.



   

                   

- Well, one of these has got to help.

- I was just concocting this very plan!



   

                   

Already our minds are becoming one.



   

                   

Whoa, whoa. If we need an expert on

licking ourselves, we'll give you a call.



   

                   

Shrek, this is a bad idea.



   

                   

Look. Make yourself useful

and go keep watch.



   

                   

Puss, do you think you

could get to those on top?



   

                   

No problema, boss.

In one of my nine lives,



   

                   

I was the great cat burglar

of Santiago de Compostela.



   

                   

Ha-ha-ha-ha!



   

                   

Shrek, are you off your nut?



   

                   

Donkey, keep watch.



   

                   

Keep watch?

Yeah, I'll keep watch.



   

                   

I'll watch that wicked witch come and

whammy a world of hurt up your backside.



   

                   

I'll laugh, too.

I'll be giggling to myself.



   

                   

- What do you see?

- Toad Stool Softener?



   

                   

I'm sure a nice BM is the perfect solution

for marital problems.



   

                   

- Elfa Seltzer?

- Uh-uh.



   

                   

- Hex Lax?

- No! Try "handsome."



   

                   

Sorry. No handsome.



   

                   

Hey! How about "Happily Ever After"?



   

                   

Well, what does it do?



   

                   

It says "Beauty Divine."



   

                   

In some cultures, donkeys are revered

as the wisest of creatures.



   

                   

Especially us talking ones.



   

                   

[gasps] Donkey!



   

                   

That'll have to do.

We've got company.



   

                   

Can we get on with this?



   

                   

Hurry!



   

                   

Nice catch, Donkey!



   

                   

Finally! A good use for your mouth.



   

                   

[  Pete Yorn: Ever Fallen In Love]



   

                   

Come on!



   

                   

  You spurn my natural emotions



   

                   

  You make me feel like dirt

and I'm hurt



   

                   

  And if I start a commotion



   

                   

  I run the risk of losing you

and that's worse



   

                   

  Ever fallen in love with someone,

ever fallen in love



   

                   

  In love with someone,

ever fallen in love



   

                   

  In love with someone

you shouldn't have fallen in love with



   

                   

  Ever fallen in love with someone,

ever fallen in love



   

                   

  In love with someone,

ever fallen in love



   

                   

  With someone

you shouldn't have fallen in love with



   

                   

  Fallen in love with



   

                   

  Ever fallen in love with someone

you shouldn't have fallen in love with  



   

                   

I don't care whose fault it is.

Just get this place cleaned up!



   

                   

And somebody bring me something

deep fried and smothered in chocolate!



   

                   

- Mother!

- Charming. Sweetheart.



   

                   

This isn't a good time, pumpkin.

Mama's working.



   

                   

Whoa, what happened here?



   

                   

- The ogre, that's what!

- What? Where is he, Mom?



   

                   

I shall rend his head

from his shoulders!



   

                   

I will smite him where he stands!



   

                   

He will rue the very day he stole

my kingdom from me!



   

                   

Oh, put it away, Junior!

You're still going to be king.



   

                   

We'll just have to come up

with something smarter.



   

                   

Pardon. Um...



   

                   

Everything is accounted for,

Fairy Godmother, except for one potion.



   

                   

What?



   

                   

Oh...



   

                   

I do believe we can make

this work to our advantage.



   

                   

"Happily Ever After Potion.

Maximum strength.



   

                   

"For you and your true love.



   

                   

"If one of you drinks this,

you both will be fine.



   

                   

"Happiness, comfort

and beauty divine."



   

                   

- You both will be fine?

- I guess it means it'll affect Fiona, too.



   

                   

Hey, man, this don't feel right.

My donkey senses are tingling all over.



   

                   

Drop that jug o' voodoo

and let's get out of here.



   

                   

It says, "Beauty Divine."

How bad can it be?



   

                   

[sneezes]



   

                   

See, you're allergic to that stuff.

You'll have a reaction.



   

                   

And if you think that I'll be smearing

Vapor Rub over your chest, think again!



   

                   

Boss, just in case there is something

wrong with the potion...



   

                   

allow me to take the first sip.



   

                   

It would be an honor to lay my life

on the line for you.



   

                   

Oh, no, no. I don't think so.



   

                   

If there'll be any animal testing,

I'll do it.



   

                   

That's the best friend's job.

Now give me that bottle.



   

                   

How do you feel?



   

                   

I don't feel any different.

I look any different?



   

                   

You still look like an ass to me.



   

                   

Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys.



   

                   

- Well, here's to us, Fiona.

- Shrek?



   

                   

- You drink that, there's no going back.

- I know.



   

                   

- No more wallowing in the mud?

- I know.



   

                   

- No more itchy butt crack?

- I know!



   

                   

- But you love being an ogre!

- I know!



   

                   

But I love Fiona more.



   

                   

Shrek, no! Wait!



   

                   

[gurgling]



   

                   

[farts]



   

                   

Got to be... I think you grabbed

the "Farty Ever After" potion.



   

                   

Maybe it's a dud.



   

                   

Or maybe Fiona and I

were never meant to be.



   

                   

Or maybe Fiona and I

were never meant to be.



   

                   

[thunder rumbles]



   

                   

Uh-oh. What did I tell you?

I feel something coming on.



   

                   

I don't want to die.

I don't want to die. I don't want to die!



   

                   

Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy.

I'm melting!



   

                   

I'm melting!



   

                   

It's just the rain, Donkey.



   

                   

[chuckles] Oh.



   

                   

Don't worry. Things seem bad

because it's dark and rainy



   

                   

and Fiona's father hired

a sleazy hitman to whack you.



   

                   

[hisses]



   

                   

lt'll be better in the morning.

You'll see...



   

                   

  The sun'll come out...



   

                   

  Tomorrow



   

                   

[yawns]



   

                   

  Bet your bottom...  



   

                   

Bet my bottom?



   

                   

I'm coming, Elizabeth!



   

                   

Donkey?



   

                   

Are you all right?



   

                   

- Hey, boss. Let's shave him.

- D-Donkey?



   

                   

[groans]



   

                   

[Puss In Boots shrieks]



   

                   

There you are!

We missed you at dinner.



   

                   

What is it, darling?



   

                   

Dad...



   

                   

I've been thinking

about what you said.



   

                   

And I'm going to set things right.



   

                   

Ah! Excellent!

That's my girl.



   

                   

It was a mistake to bring Shrek here.



   

                   

I'm going to go out and find him.



   

                   

And then we'll go back

to the swamp where we belong.



   

                   

[Lillian] Fiona, please!



   

                   

Let's not be rash, darling.

You can't go anywhere right now.



   

                   

[rain patters]



   

                   

[Both] Fiona!



   

                   

Look, I told you he was here.

Look at him! Quiet. Look at him.



   

                   

[Shrek groans]



   

                   

Good morning, sleepyhead.



   

                   

[Shrek shouts]



   

                   

[All] Good morning!



   

                   

We love your kitty!



   

                   

- [Shrek] Oh... My head...

- Here, I fetched a pail of water.



   

                   

Thanks.



   

                   

Uhh!



   

                   

Aahh!



   

                   

Oh...



   

                   

A cute button nose?



   

                   

Thick, wavy locks?



   

                   

Taut, round buttocks?



   

                   

I'm... I'm...



   

                   

- Gorgeous!

- I'll say.



   

                   

I'm Jill. What's your name?



   

                   

- Um... Shrek.

- Shrek? Wow. Are you from Europe?



   

                   

- You're tense.

- I want to rub his shoulders.



   

                   

- I got it covered.

- I don't have anything to rub.



   

                   

Get in line.



   

                   

Get in line.



   

                   

- Have you seen my donkey?

- Who are you calling donkey?



   

                   

- Donkey? You're a...

- A stallion, baby!



   

                   

I can whinny.



   

                   

[whinnies]

I can count.



   

                   

Look at me, Shrek!

I'm trotting!



   

                   

That's some quality potion.

What's in that stuff?



   

                   

"Oh, don't take the potion,

Mr. Boss, it's very bad."



   

                   

Pah!



   

                   

"Warning: Side effects may include

burning, itching, oozing, weeping.



   

                   

"Not intended for heart patients

or those with... nervous disorders."



   

                   

I'm trotting, I'm trotting in place! Yeah!



   

                   

What?



   

                   

Señor? "To make the effects

of this potion permanent,



   

                   

"the drinker must obtain his

true love's kiss by midnight."



   

                   

Midnight?

Why is it always midnight?



   

                   

- Pick me! I'll be your true love!

- I'll be your true love.



   

                   

I'll be true... enough.



   

                   

Look, ladies, I already have a true love.



   

                   

[all] Oh...



   

                   

And take it from me, Boss.



   

                   

You are going to have

one satisfied Princess.



   

                   

And let's face it.

You are a lot easier on the eyes.



   

                   

Inside you're the same

old mean, salty...



   

                   

- Easy.

...cantankerous, foul,



   

                   

angry ogre you always been.



   

                   

And you're still the same

annoying donkey.



   

                   

- Yeah.

- [sighs]



   

                   

Well...



   

                   

Look out, Princess.

Here comes the new me.



   

                   

First things first.



   

                   

- We need to get you out of those clothes.

- [all gasp]



   

                   

- Ready?

- Ready!



   

                   

- [Donkey screams]

- Driver, stop!



   

                   

Oh, God! Help me, please!

My racing days are over!



   

                   

I'm blind! Tell the truth.



   

                   

Will I ever play the violin again?



   

                   

You poor creature!



   

                   

Is there anything

I can do for you?



   

                   

Well, I guess there is one thing.



   

                   

Take off the powdered wig

and step away from your drawers.



   

                   

- Not bad.

- Not bad at all.



   

                   

[both laugh]



   

                   

Father?

Is everything all right, Father?



   

                   

Thank you, gentlemen!

Someday, I will repay you.



   

                   

Unless, of course,

I can't find you or if I forget.



   

                   

- [whinnies]

- [Puss in Boots, in angry Spanish]



   

                   

[  Butterfly Boocher: Changes]



   

                   

[  Butterfly Boocher: Changes]



   

                   

  Oh, yeah



   

                   

  Turn and face the strange



   

                   

  Ch-Ch-Changes



   

                   

  Don't wanna be a richer one



   

                   

  Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes



   

                   

  Turn and face the strange



   

                   

  Ch-Ch-Changes



   

                   

  Just gonna have to be

a different man



   

                   

  Time may change me



   

                   

  But I can't trace time



   

                   

Halt!



   

                   

Tell Princess Fiona her husband,

Sir Shrek, is here to see her.



   

                   

  Still don't know what

I was looking for



   

                   

  And my time was running wild,

a million dead-end streets



   

                   

  Every time I thought

I'd got it made



   

                   

  It seemed the taste

was not so sweet



   

                   

- [screams]

-   Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes



   

                   

  Turn and face the strange



   

                   

- Shrek?

-   Ch-Ch-Changes



   

                   

  Don't wanna be a richer one



   

                   

  Time may change me



   

                   

  But I can't trace time



   

                   

Fiona?



   

                   

Hello, handsome.



   

                   

Shrek!



   

                   

- Princess!

- Donkey?



   

                   

Wow! That potion

worked on you, too?



   

                   

What potion?



   

                   

Shrek and I took some magic potion.

And well...



   

                   

Now, we're sexy!



   

                   

Shrek?



   

                   

[purrs]



   

                   

For you, baby... I could be.



   

                   

- Yeah, you wish.

- Donkey, where is Shrek?



   

                   

He went inside looking for you.



   

                   

Shrek?



   

                   

Fiona! Fiona!



   

                   

You want to dance, pretty boy?



   

                   

Are you going so soon?

Don't you want to see your wife?



   

                   

Fiona?



   

                   

Shrek?



   

                   

Aye, Fiona. It is me.



   

                   

What happened to your voice?



   

                   

The potion changed

a lot of things, Fiona.



   

                   

But not the way I feel about you.



   

                   

Fiona?



   

                   

- Charming?

- Do you think so?



   

                   

[laughs] Dad. I was so hoping

you'd approve.



   

                   

- Um... Who are you?

- Mom, it's me, Shrek.



   

                   

I know you never get a second chance

at a first impression,



   

                   

but, well, what do you think?



   

                   

[Shrek in distance] Fiona! Fiona!



   

                   

Fiona!



   

                   

- Fiona!

- Fiona, Fiona! Ho-ho-ho!



   

                   

Oh, shoot! I don't think they

can hear us, pigeon.



   

                   

[sighs deeply]



   

                   

Don't you think you've already

messed her life up enough?



   

                   

I just wanted her to be happy.



   

                   

And now she can be.



   

                   

Oh, sweetheart.



   

                   

She's finally found

the prince of her dreams.



   

                   

But look at me.

Look what I've done for her.



   

                   

It's time you stop living

in a fairy tale, Shrek.



   

                   

She's a princess,

and you're an ogre.



   

                   

That's something no amount

of potion will ever change.



   

                   

But...



   

                   

I love her.



   

                   

If you really love her...



   

                   

you'll let her go.



   

                   

[  Nick Cave: People Ain't No Good]



   

                   

[  Nick Cave: People Ain't No Good]



   

                   

Shrek?



   

                   

Señor.



   

                   

What's going on?

Where are you going?



   

                   

You wouldn't have had anything to do

with this, would you, Harold?



    

                   

  People just ain't no good



    

                   

  I think that's well understood



    

                   

There you go, boys.



    

                   

Just leave the bottle, Doris.



    

                   

Hey. Why the long face?



    

                   

It was all just a stupid mistake.



    

                   

I never should have rescued her

from that tower in the first place.



    

                   

I hate Mondays.



    

                   

I can't believe you'd walk away from

the best thing that happened to you.



    

                   

What choice do I have?



    

                   

She loves that pretty boy,

Prince Charming.



    

                   

Come on. Is he really

that good-looking?



    

                   

Are you kidding?

He's gorgeous!



    

                   

He has a face that looks like

it was carved by angels.



    

                   

- Oh. He sounds dreamy.

- You know...



    

                   

shockingly, this isn't

making me feel any better.



    

                   

Look, guys.

It's for the best.



    

                   

Mom and Dad approve,



    

                   

and Fiona gets the man

she's always dreamed of.



    

                   

Everybody wins.



    

                   

Except for you.



    

                   

I don't get it, Shrek.

You love Fiona.



    

                   

Aye.



    

                   

And that's why

I have to let her go.



    

                   

Excuse me, is she here?



    

                   

She's, uh... in the back.



    

                   

Oh, hello again.



    

                   

Fairy Godmother. Charming.



    

                   

You'd better have a good reason

for dragging us down here, Harold.



    

                   

Well, I'm afraid Fiona isn't really...

warming up to Prince Charming.



    

                   

- FYI, not my fault.

- No, of course it's not, dear.



    

                   

I mean,

how charming can I be



    

                   

when I have to pretend

I'm that dreadful ogre?



    

                   

No, no, it's nobody's fault.



    

                   

Perhaps it's best if we just

call the whole thing off, okay?



    

                   

- [both] What?

- You can't force someone to fall in love!



    

                   

I beg to differ.

I do it all the time!



    

                   

Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love

with the first man she kisses,



    

                   

which will be Charming.



    

                   

- Umm... no.

- What did you say?



    

                   

I can't. I won't do it.



    

                   

Oh, yes, you will.



    

                   

If you remember, I helped you

with your happily ever after.



    

                   

And I can take it away

just as easily.



    

                   

Is that what you want? Is it?



    

                   

- No.

- Good boy.



    

                   

Now, we have to go.



    

                   

I need to do Charming's hair

before the ball.



    

                   

He's hopeless.

He's all high in the front.



    

                   

He can never get to the back.

You need someone to do the back.



    

                   

Oh. Thank you, Mother.



    

                   

[Donkey] Mother?



    

                   

Um... Mary! A talking horse!



    

                   

The ogre!



    

                   

Stop them! Thieves! Bandits!

Stop them!



    

                   

(Announcer) The abs are fab

and it's gluteus to the maximus



    

                   

here at tonight's Far, Far Away

Royal Ball blowout!



    

                   

The coaches are lined up

as the cream of the crop pours out of them



    

                   

like Miss Muffet's curds and whey.



    

                   

Everyone who's anyone

has turned out



    

                   

to honor Princess Fiona

and Prince Shrek.



    

                   

And, oh my,

the outfits look gorgeous!



    

                   

Look! Hansel and Gretel!



    

                   

What the heck are the crumbs for?



    

                   

And right behind them,

Tom Thumb and Thumbelina!



    

                   

- Oh, aren't they adorable!

- [screaming]



    

                   

[woman] Here comes Sleeping Beauty!



    

                   

Tired old thing.



    

                   

Who's this? Who's this?

Who is this?



    

                   

Oh. It's the one, it's the only...



    

                   

It's the Fairy Godmother!



    

                   

Hello, Far, Far Away!



    

                   

Can I get a whoop whoop?



    

                   

May all your endings be happy and...



    

                   

Well, you know the rest!



    

                   

We'll be right back with the Royal

Far, Far Away Ball



    

                   

after these messages.



    

                   

I hate these ball shows.



    

                   

They bore me to tears.

Flip over to Wheel Of Torture!



    

                   

I'm not flipping anywhere, sir,

until I see Shrek and Fiona.



    

                   

Whizzes on you guys.



    

                   

Hey, mice, pass me a buffalo wing!



    

                   

No, to your left. Your left!



    

                   

- Tonight on "Knights"...

- Now here's a good show!



    

                   

We got a white bronco heading east

into the forest. Requesting backup.



    

                   

It's time to teach these madcap mammals



    

                   

their "devil may mare" attitudes

just won't fly.



    

                   

Why you grabbing me?

Police brutality!



    

                   

I have to talk to Princess Fiona!



    

                   

- We warned you!

- Ow! Ow!



    

                   

Did someone let the cat out of the bag?



    

                   

You capitalist pig dogs!



    

                   

[shrieks]



    

                   

- Catnip!

- That's not mine.



    

                   

Find Princess Fiona!



    

                   

I'm a donkey!



    

                   

Tell her Shrek...

I'm her husband, Shrek!



    

                   

Quick! Rewind it!



    

                   

I'm her husband, Shrek! Ow!



    

                   

[knock on door]



    

                   

Darling?



    

                   

Ah. I thought I might

find you here.



    

                   

How about a nice hot cup

of tea before the ball?



    

                   

I'm not going.



    

                   

The whole Kingdom's turned out

to celebrate your marriage.



    

                   

There's just one problem.

That's not my husband.



    

                   

I mean, look at him.



    

                   

Yes, he is a bit different,



    

                   

but people change

for the ones they love.



    

                   

You'd be surprised how much

I changed for your mother.



    

                   

Change?



    

                   

He's completely lost his mind!



    

                   

Why not come down to the ball

and give him another chance?



    

                   

You might find you like

this new Shrek.



    

                   

But it's the old one

I fell in love with, Dad.



    

                   

I'd give anything to have him back.



    

                   

Darling. That's mine. Decaf.



    

                   

Otherwise I'm up all night.



    

                   

Thanks.



    

                   

I got to get out of here!



    

                   

I got to get out of here!



    

                   

You can't lock us up like this!

Let me go!



    

                   

What about my Miranda rights?



    

                   

You're supposed to say

I have the right to remain silent.



    

                   

Nobody said I have the right

to remain silent!



    

                   

You have the right to remain silent.



    

                   

What you lack is the capacity.



    

                   

I must hold on before I, too,

go totally mad.



    

                   

Shrek? Donkey?



    

                   

Too late.



    

                   

Gingy! Pinocchio!

Get us out of here!



    

                   

Oh...



    

                   

[  Theme from Mission Impossible]



    

                   

Fire in ze hole!



    

                   

[explosion, rumbling]



    

                   

Look out below!



    

                   

Quick! Tell a lie!



    

                   

- What should I say?

- Anything, but quick!



    

                   

Say something crazy like

"I'm wearing ladies' underwear!"



    

                   

I am wearing ladies' underwear.



    

                   

- Are you?

- I most certainly am not!



    

                   

It looks like you

most certainly am are!



    

                   

- I am not!

- What kind?



    

                   

- It's a thong!

- Oww! They're briefs!



    

                   

- Are not.

- Are too!



    

                   

- Are not!

- Are too!



    

                   

Here we go. Hang tight.



    

                   

[Donkey] Wait, wait, wait!

Ow! Ow! Hey, hey, hey!



    

                   

Ow!



    

                   

- Excuse me?

- What? Puss!



    

                   

Pardon me, would you

mind letting me go?



    

                   

- Sorry, boss.

- Quit messing around!



    

                   

We've got to stop that kiss!



    

                   

I thought you was going

to let her go.



    

                   

I was, but I can't let them

do this to Fiona.



    

                   

Boom! That's what I like to hear.

Look who's coming around!



    

                   

It's impossible!

We'll never get in.



    

                   

The castle's guarded.

There's a moat and everything!



    

                   

Folks, it looks like we're up chocolate

creek without a Popsicle stick.



    

                   

- What?

- Do you still know the Muffin Man?



    

                   

Well, sure!

He's down on Drury Lane. Why?



    

                   

Because we're gonna need flour.



    

                   

Lots and lots of flour.



    

                   

Gingy!



    

                   

Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man!

We've got a big order to fill!



    

                   

[evil chuckle]



    

                   

[Gingy] It's alive!



    

                   

[rattling]



    

                   

[gasping]



    

                   

[whinnies] Run, run, run,

as fast you can!



    

                   

[screaming]



    

                   

Go, baby, go!



    

                   

There it is, Mongo!

To the castle!



    

                   

[Shrek] No, you great stupid pastry!

Come on!



    

                   

[all shout]



    

                   

[Donkey] Mongo! Down here!

Look at the pony!



    

                   

That's right! Follow the pretty pony!



    

                   

Pretty pony wants to play

at the castle!



    

                   

[Mongo] Pretty pony.



    

                   

Ladies and gentlemen.



    

                   

Presenting Princess Fiona

and her new husband, Prince Shrek.



    

                   

[applause, cheering]



    

                   

Shrek, what are you doing?



    

                   

I'm just playing the part, Fiona.



    

                   

Is that glitter on your lips?



    

                   

Mm. Cherry flavored.

Want to taste?



    

                   

- Ugh! What is with you?

- But, Muffin Cake...



    

                   

[piano plays]



    

                   

C Minor, put it in C Minor.



    

                   

Ladies and gentlemen.



    

                   

[applause, cheering]



    

                   

I'd like to dedicate this song to...



    

                   

Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek.



    

                   

Fiona, my Princess.



    

                   

Will you honor me with a dance?



    

                   

  Where have all the good men gone



    

                   

  And where are all the gods?



    

                   

[all chant] Dance!



    

                   

  Where's the streetwise Hercules



    

                   

  To fight the rising odds?



    

                   

Since when do you dance?



    

                   

Fiona, my dearest,

if there's one thing I know,



    

                   

it's that love is full of surprises.



    

                   

  Late at night I toss and I turn



    

                   

  And I dream of what I need



    

                   

Hit it!



    

                   

  I need a hero



    

                   

All right, big fella!

Let's crash this party!



    

                   

Man the catapults!



    

                   

Aim! Fire!



    

                   

- Brace yourselves!

- Ooh! Purty!



    

                   

[groaning]



    

                   

Not the gumdrop button!



    

                   

[enraged howling]



    

                   

Incoming!



    

                   

Ha-ha! All right!



    

                   

  Somewhere after midnight

In my wildest fantasy



    

                   

Go, Mongo! Go!



    

                   

Man the cauldrons!



    

                   

After you, Mongo.



    

                   

- That's it! Heave-ho!

- Watch out!



    

                   

Shrek!



    

                   

More heat, less foam!



    

                   

  Up where the mountains

Meet the heavens above



    

                   

  Out where the lightning

Splits the sea



    

                   

  I could swear there is someone

Somewhere watching me



    

                   

Heave! Ho!



    

                   

[Gingy, slow-motion] No...!



    

                   

[Mongo groans]



    

                   

[whistles] Come on!



    

                   

[cheering]



    

                   

Look out!



    

                   

- Be good.

- [weeping bitterly]



    

                   

[sobbing] He needs me!

Let me go!



    

                   

Donkey!



    

                   

Puss!



    

                   

Go! Go! Your lady needs you! Go!



    

                   

Today, I repay my debt.



    

                   

[all] Aww...



    

                   

[growling] On guard!



    

                   

  He's gotta be strong

And he's gotta be fast



    

                   

  And he's gotta be fresh

From the fight



    

                   

-   I need a hero  

- Stop!



    

                   

[Donkey whinnies]



    

                   

- Hey, you! Back away from my wife.

- Shrek?



    

                   

You couldn't just go back to your swamp

and leave well enough alone.



    

                   

- Now!

- Pigs und blanket!



    

                   

Pinocchio! Get the wand!



    

                   

I see London! I see France!



    

                   

Whah!



    

                   

I'm a real boy!



    

                   

Ah! Ah! Aaahhh!



    

                   

Catch!



    

                   

Donkey!



    

                   

Oh!



    

                   

I'm a real boy. Aah!



    

                   

Oh!



    

                   

- Ha!

- Ah.



    

                   

That's mine!



    

                   

Pray for mercy, from Puss...



    

                   

And Donkey!



    

                   

She's taken the potion!

Kiss her now!



    

                   

No!



    

                   

- Hi-ya!

- [crowd gasp]



    

                   

- Fiona.

- Shrek.



    

                   

Harold! You were supposed

to give her the potion!



    

                   

Well, I guess I gave her

the wrong tea.



    

                   

- [Charming] Mommy!

- Mommy?



    

                   

[growls] I told you.



    

                   

Ogres don't live happily ever after.



    

                   

[screams]



    

                   

Woo!



    

                   

Ha!



    

                   

[breathes deeply]



    

                   

[gasping] Oh, Dad!



    

                   

[sobbing]



    

                   

- Is he...?

- Yup.



    

                   

[croaking]



    

                   

He croaked.



    

                   

Harold?



    

                   

Dad?



    

                   

I'd hoped you'd never

see me like this.



    

                   

- And he gave you a hard time!

- Donkey!



    

                   

No, no, he's right.

I'm sorry.



    

                   

To both of you.



    

                   

I only wanted what

was best for Fiona.



    

                   

But I can see now...



    

                   

she already has it.



    

                   

Shrek, Fiona...



    

                   

Will you accept

an old frog's apologies...



    

                   

and my blessing?



    

                   

Harold?

I'm sorry, Lillian.



    

                   

I just wish I could be

the man you deserve.



    

                   

You're more that man today

than you ever were...



    

                   

warts and all.



    

                   

[ribbits]



    

                   

[clock chimes]



    

                   

[clock chimes]



    

                   

Boss! The Happily Ever After Potion!



    

                   

Midnight!



    

                   

Fiona. Is this what you want?



    

                   

To be this way forever?



    

                   

- What?

- Because if you kiss me now...



    

                   

we can stay like this.



    

                   

You'd do that?



    

                   

- For me?

- Yes.



    

                   

I want what any princess wants.



    

                   

To live happily ever after...



    

                   

with the ogre I married.



    

                   

Whatever happens,

I must not cry!



    

                   

You cannot make me cry!



    

                   

[sobbing]



    

                   

[clock chimes]



    

                   

Whoa!



    

                   

No. No, no.

Aaah! Ow.



    

                   

Oh, no.



    

                   

[sighs]



    

                   

[laughs] Hey. You still look like

a noble steed to me.



    

                   

[giggles] Now, where were we?



    

                   

Oh. I remember.



    

                   

[giggling]



    

                   

[applause]



    

                   

Hey! Isn't we supposed

to be having a fiesta?



    

                   

Uno, dos, quatro, hit it!



    

                   

[  Eddie Murphy/Antonio Banderas:

Livin' La Vida Loca]



    

                   

[  Eddie Murphy/Antonio Banderas:

Livin' La Vida Loca]



    

                   

Puss and Donkey, y'all...



    

                   

  She's into superstitions



    

                   

  Black cats and voodoo dolls



    

                   

- Sing it, Puss!

-   I feel a premonition



    

                   

  That girl's gonna make me fall



    

                   

Here we go!



    

                   

  She's into new sensations



    

                   

  New kicks in the candlelight



    

                   

  She's got a new addiction



    

                   

  For every day and night



    

                   

  She'll make you take your clothes off



    

                   

  And go dancing in the rain



    

                   

  She'll make you live her crazy life



    

                   

  But she'll take away your pain



    

                   

  Like a bullet to your brain



    

                   

  Upside inside out



    

                   

  Living la vida loca



    

                   

Hey gorgeous!



    

                   

  Living la vida loca



    

                   

  Her lips are devil red



    

                   

  And her skin's the color of mocha



    

                   

  She will wear you out



    

                   

-   Living la vida loca

- [Donkey] She livin' it loca!



    

                   

  Living la vida loca



    

                   

- [Donkey] Say it one more time now!

-   Living the vida loca



    

                   

[Puss in Boots jamming]



    

                   

[Puss in Boots]

Hey, Donkey, that's Spanish!



    

                   

  She'll push and pull you down



    

                   

  Living la vida loca



    

                   

  She will wear you out



    

                   

  Living la vida loca



    

                   

  Living la vida loca



    

                   

  She'll push and pull you down



    

                   

  Living the vida loca



    

                   

  Her lips are devil red



    

                   

  And her skin's the color of mocha



    

                   

  She will wear you out



    

                   

  Living la vida loca



    

                   

  Living la vida loca



    

                   

  Living la vida loca



    

                   

  Living la vida loca  



    

                   

  All by myself



    

                   

  All by myself



    

                   

  Don't wanna be



    

                   

  All by myself anymore...  



    

                   

Amigo, we are off

to the Kit-Kat Club.



    

                   

Come on, join us.



    

                   

Thanks, compadre.

I'm... I'm not in the mood.



    

                   

We will cheer you up!

Find you a nice burro!



    

                   

[shrieking]



    

                   

Hey, baby!



    

                   

Hey, that's my girl!

Yeah! All right!



    

                   

Baby, where you been?



    

                   

- [cries]

- I'm sorry, too.



    

                   

I should've stayed.

But Shrek had this thing he had to do.



    

                   

What? Say it one more time.



    

                   

What you talking about?

Are you serious?



    

                   

- [cooing]

- [gasping]



    

                   

- Papa!

- [screaming]



    

                   

- [cooing, squealing]

- [chuckling]



    

                   

Look at our little mutant babies!



    

                   

[Donkey] I got to get a job.



    

                   

[Donkey] I got to get a job.

Hellen Keller Jokes

2017-01-13 17:29:43 UTC

Q: What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
A1: Corduroy.
A2: Velcro.

Q. Why is all of Helen Keller's face burnt?
A. She was bobbing for french fries.

Q: How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face?
A: She answer the iron.

Q: How did she burn the other side of her face?
A: They called back.

Q: Why was Helen Keller's leg wet?
A: Her dog was blind too.

Q. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A. she needs the other to moan with.

Q. How did she burn her fingers?
A. Reading the waffle iron

Q. What did she do when she fell down the well?
A. She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue.

Q. How come she didn't scream when she fell off the cliff?
A. She was wearing mittens

Q. Why does she wear skin tight pants?
A. So you can read her lips

Q. Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
A. You would too if your name was 'Urghrrghrghr'.

Q. Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll?
A. Wind it up and it walks into walls.

Q. What's this (slowly waving fingers)?
A. Helen Keller moaning

Q: Who is the cruelest man in the world?
A: The guy who raped Helen Keller, then cut off her hands so she couldn't
scream for help.

Q: How come Helen Keller can't have kids??
A: Because she's DEAD!

Q. How did Helen Keller drive herself crazy?
A. Trying to read a stucco wall.

Q: What did HK's parent's do to punish her?
A1: Rearranged the furniture
A2: Left the plunger in the toilet bowl
A3: Put Saran Wrap on the toilet.
A4: Put her in a round room and told her there's a penny in the corner
A5: Washed her hands out with soap
A6: Gave her bird-seed to read.
A7: Glued doorknobs to the walls

Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive a car?
A1: She's a woman.
A2: She's dead.

Q: How did Helen Keller break her arm in the car?
A: Trying to read stop signs.

Q: How did HK get poke marks on her face?
A: Learning to eat with a fork.

Q: What's the name of Helen Keller's favorite book?
A: "Around the block in 80 Days"

Q: Define true love.
A: Hellen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.

Q: Did you know that Helen Keller had a dollhouse in the backyard?
A: Neither did she.

Q: How did Helen Keller drive her car?
A: One hand on the wheel; The other on the road.

Q: How did Helen Keller meet her husband?
A: On a blind date!

Q: How did Helen Keller pierce her ear?
A: Answering the stapler.

Q: How did Helen Keller's teachers punish her for talking in class?
A: They made her wear mittens.

Q: Why didn't Helen Keller change her baby's diaper?
A: So she could always find him.

Q: Why did Helen Keller have yellow fingers?
A: from whispering sweet-nothings in her boyfriends ear

Q: How did Helen Keller pick her eyes out?
A: She shouted histerically.

Scene:A neighbourhood on a street called prefix = st2 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" ?Privet Drive. An owl, sitting on the street sign flies off to reveal a mysterious appearing old man walking through a forest near the street. He stops at the start of the street and takes out a mechanical device and zaps all the light out of the lampposts. He puts away the device and a cat meows. The man, prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas:contacts" ?ALBUS DUMBLEDORE, looks down at the cat, which is a tabby and is sitting on a brick ledge. Dumbledore: I should have known that you would be here...Professor McGonagall. The cat meows, sniffs out and the camera pans back to a wall. The cats shadow is seen progressing into a human. There are footsteps and MINERVA MCGONAGALL is revealed. McGonagall: Good evening, Professor Dumbledore. Are the rumours true, Albus? Dumbledore: I'm afraid so, Professor. The good, and the bad.McGonagall: And the boy?Dumbledore: Hagrid is bringing him.McGonagall: Do you think it wise to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?Albus: Ah, Professor, I would trust Hagrid with my life. There is a motor sound, and the two professors look up to see a flying motorcycle coming down from the air. It skids on the street and halts. A large man, RUBEUS HAGRID, takes off his goggles. Hagrid: Professor Dumbledore, Sir. Professor McGonagall.Dumbledore: No problems, I trust, Hagrid?Hagrid: No, sir. Little tyke fell asleep just as we were flying over Bristol. Heh. Try not to wake him. There you go. Hagrid hands a baby in a blanket over to Dumbledore. McGonagall: Albus, do you really think its safe, leaving him with these people? I've been watching them all day. They're the worst sort of Muggles imaginable. They really areDumbledore: The only family he has. They stop outside a house. McGonagall: This boy will be famous. There wont be a child in our world who doesn't know his name.Dumbledore: Exactly. He's better off growing up away from all that. Until he is ready. Hagrid coughs and sniffles, he is crying. He clears his throat. Dumbledore: There, there, Hagrid. It's not really good-bye, after all. Hagrid nods. Dumbledore takes a letter and places it on the baby, who is now at the foot of the door. The baby has a visible lightning-bolt shaped scar on his forehead. Dumbledore: Good luck...Harry Potter. The camera pans into the scar and the opening title shows:HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONEAlmost ten years after the: DURSLEY's home. The camera pans on a sleeping boy, almost eleven, with a lightning-bolt shaped scar on his forehead.prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" ?There is a click, and knocking. Outside, a tall woman, PETUNIA DURSLEY, raps the door. Petunia: Up. Get up. {Knocks} {sighs} Now! {Smacks door of closet which is the boys bedroom} A large, tubby boy, prefix = st2 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" ?prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas:contacts" ?DUDLEY DURSLEY, suddenly comes running down the stairs above the closet. He stops half-way down and goes back, jumping on the staircase. Dudley: Wake up, cousin! We're going to the zoo! Dudley laughs, comes down the stairs and runs for the kitchen. The boy, HARRY POTTER, tries to come out of the closet, but is pushed back in by Dudley. Petunia is in the kitchen, where Dudley has gone. Petunia: Oh, here he comes, the birthday boy! A larger man, VERNON DURSLEY, is sitting at the kitchen table. Vernon: Happy birthday, son. Petunia and Dudley giggle together. Harry comes into the kitchen, dressed in rags. Petunia: Why don't you just cook the breakfast, and try not to burn anything.Harry: Yes, Aunt Petunia. He sets to work. Petunia: I want everything to be perfect for my Dudley's special day.Vernon: Hurry up! Bring my coffee, boy!Harry: Yes, Uncle Vernon. Petunia leads Dudley over to the family room, where there are a vast amount of presents. Dudley stares. Dudley: How many are there?Vernon: Thirty-six. Counted 'em myself.Dudley: Thirty-six?! But last year last year I got thirty-seven!!Vernon: Yes, well, some of them are quite a bit bigger than last year!Dudley: I don't care how big they are!Petunia: Oh, now, now, now. This is what we're going to do, is that when we go out we're going to buy you two new presents! How's that, Pumpkin? Scene:Outside, morning. The happy family is heading to the car. Harry goes to get in but is stopped by Vernon. Petunia: This will be a lovely day at the zoo. I'm really looking forward to it.Vernon: I'm warning you now, boy. Any funny business, any at all, and you won't have any meals for a week. Get in. Scene:The zoo. The family is in the reptile house, looking at a large BOA CONSTRICTOR. Dudley: Make it move.Vernon raps the glass of the cage. Vernon: Move! Dudley raps the glass much harder, and Vernon winces. Dudley: MOVE!Harry: He's asleep!Dudley: He's boring. Dudley and his parents retreat to another enclosure. Harry is left with the snake. Harry: Sorry about him. He doesn't understand what it's like, lying there day after day, having people press their ugly faces in on you. The snake looks up and blinks. Harry: Can you...hear me? {The snake nods} It's just...I've never talked to a snake before. Do you...I mean...do you talk to people often? {The snake shakes its head} You're from Burma, aren't you? Was it nice there, do you miss your family? {The snake turns its head in the direction of a sign which says, Bred in Captivity} I see. That's me as well. I never knew my parents, either. The now awake snake has attracted Dudley's attention. He rips over to the cage, knocking Harry to the floor. Dudley: Mummy, dad, come here! You won't believe what this snake is doing!! Dudley puts his hands on the glass wall. Harry, from the ground, glares at him. Suddenly, the glass disappears. Dudley wretches forward. Dudley: Whoa! Ahh! Ahh!! Dudley falls into the snake enclosure, sputtering in a pool of water. The snake gets out of the exhibit, stopping in front of Harry. Snake: Thankssssssss.Harry: Anytime. The snake starts off. Man: SNAKE! There is a lot of screaming as the snake heads for freedom. Dudley gets up to get out, but the glass is now back over the enclosure. He is stuck. He pounds the glass. Dudley: Mum, mummy!Petunia: {Sees him} AHH!Dudley: Mum, help! Help me!Petunia: My darling boy! How did you get in there?!Harry: {Grins and giggles} Vernon glares down at him and Harry's grin disappears. Petunia continues screaming: How did you get in there? Dursley, oh, Dursley! Scene:Back at the Dursley's. Petunia and a bundled up Dudley come in.Petunia: It's all right. It's all right. They disappear around the corner. Harry and Vernon enter. Vernon slams the door and shoves Harry against a wall, taking his hair. Harry: Ow!Vernon: What happened?Harry: I swear I don't know! One minute the glass was there and then it was gone! It was like magic!Vernon: {Scoffs and shoves Harry into the closet} There's no such thing as magic! Scene:Outside, some time later. An owl flies by the house and drops a letter, which zooms in the letterbox. It lands away from the house and hoots.Harry, inside, goes to collect the mail. He sorts through the letters and sees his, addressed to him. He goes into the kitchen, hands Vernon the rest of the mail, and walks around the other side of the table to see his letter. Vernon: Ah, Marge is ill. Ate a funny whelk.Dudley: {Sees Harrys letter. He runs and grabs it} Dad, look! Harry's got a letter!!Harry: Hey, give it back! It's mine!Vernon: {Laughs} Yours? Who'd be writing to you? The family gathers to look at the address. There is a broken seal on the letter. The family looks up and Harry gulps. Scene:Another owl flies by with a letter and drops it off. Inside, Vernon grabs a handful of letters and rips them up.In the closet, Harry hears a whirring noise. He looks out at Vernon drilling wood over the letterbox opening. Vernon: No more mail through this letterbox. Scene:Outside, Vernon and Petunia appear. Vernon is about to head off to work. Petunia kisses his cheek. Petunia: Have a lovely day at the office, dear. She stops, looks and sees a bunch of owls. Vernon: Shoo! Go on! Scene:Inside. Vernon is tossing letters into the fireplace. Harry comes around the corner. Vernon grins evilly and tosses more in. Scene:Living/Family room. The family is sitting around, Harry is serving cookies. Vernon: Fine day Sunday. In my opinion, best day of the week. Why is that, Dudley? Dudley shrugs. Harry: {Hands cookie to Vernon} Because there's no post on Sunday? Ah, right you are, Harry. No post on Sunday. Hah! No blasted letters today. No, sir. {Harry sees a shadow outside the window. Outside, millions of owls are perched.} No sir, not one blasted, miserable--- A letter shoots out of the fireplace and zips across Vernons face. There is a rumbling and then zillions of letters come shooting out of the fireplace. Dudley: AHH! Make it stop! Please make it stop! {He jumps on Petunias lap}Petunia and Vernon: {Screaming}Vernon: Go away, ahh!Dudley: What is it? Please tell me what's happening! Harry jumps onto the coffee table to grab a letter. He gets one and starts to run away. Vernon jumps up as well. Vernon: Give me that! Give me that letter! He chases Harry and grabs him before Harry gets into his closet. Harry: Get off! Ahh!Vernon: Ahh!Harry: They're my letters! Let go of me!Vernon: That's it! We're going away! Far away! Where they can't find us!Dudley: Daddy's gone mad, hasnt he?! Scene:A house, on a rock island somewhere out at sea. The family is sleeping, with Harry on the cold, dirt floor. He has drawn a birthday cake which reads, Happy Birthday Harry. Harry looks at Dudley's watch, which beeps 12:00. Harry: Make a wish, Harry. {Blows} Suddenly, the door thumps. Harry jumps. The door thumps again and Dudley and Harry jump up and back away. Petunia and Vernon appear, Vernon with a gun. The door bangs again and then cracks open, and a giant man appears. Vernon: Who's there? Ahh!Hagrid: Sorry 'bout that. {He puts the door back up}Vernon: I demand that you leave at once, Sir! You are breaking and entering!Petunia: Ooh. Hagrid comes over, grabs the gun and bends it upwards. Hagrid: Dry up, Dursley, you great prune. {The gun fires}All: Ahh!Hagrid: {sees Dudley} Mind, I haven't seen you since you was a baby, Harry, but you're a bit more along than I would have expected. Particularly 'round the middle!Dudley: I-I-I'm not Harry.Harry appears: I-I am.Hagrid: Oh, well, of course you are! Got something for ya. 'Fraid I might have sat on it at some point! I imagine that it'll taste fine just the same. Ahh. Baked it myself. {Hands Harry the cake} Words and all. Heh.Harry: Thank you! {Opens cake, which reads: Happee Birdae Harry.}Hagrid: It's not every day that your young man turns eleven, now is it? Hagrid sits down on the couch, takes out an umbrella and points it at the empty fire. Poof, poof! Two sparks fly out and the fire starts. The family gapes. Harry: {puts cake down} Excuse me, who are you?Hagrid: Rubeus Hagrid. Keeper of keys and grounds at Hogwarts. Course, you'll know all about Hogwarts.Harry: Sorry, no.Hagrid: No? Blimey, Harry, didn't you ever wonder where your mum and dad learned it all?Harry: Learnt what?Hagrid: You're a wizard, Harry.Harry: I-I'm a what?Harry: A wizard. And a thumping good one at that, I'd wager. Once you train up a little.Harry: No, you've made a mistake. I can't be...a-a wizard. I mean, I'm just... Harry. Just Harry.Hagrid: Well, Just Harry, did you ever make anything happen? Anything you couldn't explain when you were angry or scared? {Harry softens his expression} Ah.Dudley: {whimpers} Hagrid hands Harry the same letter that has been sent the past while. Harry opens it. Harry: Dear, Mr. Potter. We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts' School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!Vernon: Hell not be going! We swore when we took him in wed put an end to this rubbish!Harry: You knew?? You knew all along and you never told me?Petunia: Of course we knew. How could you not be? My perfect sister being who she was. Oh, my mother and father were so proud the day she got her letter. We have a witch in the family. Isn't it wonderful? I was the only one to see her for what she was. A freak! And then she met that Potter, and then she had you, and I knew you'd be just the same, just as strange, just as ... abnormal. And then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up! And we got landed with you.Harry: Blown up? You told me my parents died in a car crash!Hagrid: A car crash? A car crash kill James and Lily Potter?Petunia: We had to tell him something.Hagrid: It's an outrage! It's a scandal!Vernon: He'll not be going!Hagrid: Oh, and I suppose a great Muggle like yourself's going to stop him, are you?Harry: Muggle?Hagrid: Non magic folk. This boy's had his name down ever since he was born! He's going to the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world, and he'll be under the greatest headmaster Hogwarts' has ever seen: Albus Dumbledore.Vernon: I will not pay for some crackpot old fool to teach him magic tricks!Hagrid: {whips out umbrella and points it at Vernon} Never insult Albus Dumbledore in front of me. Hagrid sees Dudley eating Harry's cake, and points the umbrella at his rear. A grey tail grows. Dudley: Ahh!All: Ahh! {family chases Dudley}Harry: {laughs}Hagrid: Oh, um, I'd appreciate if you didn't tell anyone at Hogwarts about that. Strictly speaking, I'm not allowed to do magic.Harry: {Nods} Okay.Hagrid: {checks a clock} Ooh, we're a bit behind schedule. Best be off. Unless you'd rather stay, of course. Hmm? {Leaves} Harry grins, looks back, and grins again. Scene:Streets of London. Hagrid and Harry are walking.Harry: All students must be equipped with...one standard size two pewter cauldron and may bring if they desire either an owl, a cat or a toad. Can we find all this in London?Hagrid: If you know where to go. They go to a corner store and enter, The Leaky Cauldron.{Music and talking} Barkeep Tom: Ah, Hagrid! The usual, I presume?Hagrid: No thanks, Tom. I'm on official Hogwarts business today. Just helping young Harry here buy his school supplies.Tom: Bless my soul. It's Harry Potter. The pub goes silent. A man comes up and shakes Harrys hand. Man: Welcome back, Mr. Potter, welcome back. A witch comes up and shakes Harrys hand, as well. Witch: Doris Crockford, Mr. Potter. I can't believe I'm meeting you at last. A man in robes with a turban on his head appears. It is PROFESSOR QUIRRELL. Quirrell: Harry P-potter. C-can't tell you how pleased I am to meet you.Hagrid: Hello, Professor. I didn't see you there. Harry, this is Professor Quirrell. He'll be your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts.Harry: Oh, nice to meet you. {Puts out hand. Quirrell refuses}Quirrell: F-fearfully fascinating subject. N-not that you need it, e-eh, Potter? Heheh.Hagrid: Yes, well, must be going now. Lots to buy. Heh.Harry: Good-bye. The two leave into a back room winery in front of a brick wall. Hagrid: See, Harry, you're famous!Harry: But why am I famous, Hagrid? All those people back there, how is it they know who I am?Hagrid: I'm not exactly sure I'm the right person to tell you that, Harry. {Taps the brick wall clockwise with his umbrella. The blocks shift and open up to reveal a hidden, busy street.}Welcome, Harry, to Diagon Alley. Harry grins broadly as they step into the street and walk down it. An owl screeches. Hagrid: Here's where you'll get your quills and ink, and over there all your bits and bobs for doing your wizardry. Harry is amazed as they pass by shops and owls and bats. The camera pans on a broom store, where a group of boys are crowded around a shiny broom. Boy: It's a world class racing broom. Look at it, its the new Nimbus 2000! It's the fastest model yet.Harry: But, Hagrid, how am I to pay for all this? I haven't any money.Hagrid: Well there's your money, Harry. Gringotts, the Wizard Bank. T'aint no place safer, 'cept perhaps Hogwarts. Inside the bank, they walk down the shiny aisle, passing tiny creatures working. Harry: Uh, Hagrid, what exactly are those things?Hagrid: They're goblins, Harry. Clever as they come goblins but not the most friendly of beasts. Best stick close to me. {Harry sticks to him.} {Hagrid clears his throat as they approach a counter with a goblin in it.} Mr. Harry Potter wishes to make a withdrawal. The goblin looks up. Goblin: And does Mr. Harry Potter have his key?Hagrid: Oh. Wait a minute. Got it here somewhere. Hah. Here's the little devil. Oh, and there's something else as well. Professor Dumbledore gave me this. It's about you-know-what in vault you-know-which. {Hands Goblin letter wrapped in string.}Goblin: Very well. Scene:Racing down the depth caverns in a cartlike structure. The cart stops, a goblin, GRIPHOOK, clambers out. Griphook: Vault 687. Lamp, please. {Hagrid hands him the lamp and he walks to the vault} Key please. {Hagrid hands him the key and he unlocks it} The room is filled nearly top to bottom with coins. Harry is amazed. Hagrid: Didn't think your mum and dad would leave you with nothing, now didja? They continue on through the cavern. Griphook: Vault 713.Harry: What's in there, Hagrid?Hagrid: Can't tell you, Harry. It's Hogwarts business. Very secret.Griphook: Stand back. {Slides finger down the door. Clank. Clank. The vault opens to expose a small white stone package. Hagrid hurries in and scoops it up. The eerie light it was shining with disappears.} Hagrid: Best not mention this to anyone, Harry.Harry nods. Scene: Outside in the street, walking. Harry: I still need...a wand.Hagrid: A wand? Well, you'll want Ollivanders. No place better. Run along there, but wait. I just got one more thing I got to do. Won't be long. Harry goes into the store, quietly. He looks around. There are shelves of wands, but no people. Harry: {Softly} Hello? Hello? There is a thunk. A man appears on a ladder and looks at Harry. He smiles. Ollivander: I wondered when I'd be seeing you, Mr. Potter. It seems only yesterday that your mother and father were in here buying their first wands. {Picks a wand} Ah. Here we are. {Harry holds it but just stands} Well, give it a wave.Harry: Oh! {waves. All the shelves come crashing down. Harry jumps and hurriedly puts the wand back on the counter.}Ollivander: Apparently not. {Gets another wand.} Perhaps this. {Harry waves at a vase, which blows apart.} No, no, definitely not! No matter...{gets a wand} I wonder. {Hands wand to Harry. Harry glows under it.} Curious, very curious.Harry: Sorry, but what's curious?Ollivander: I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr. Potter. It just so happens that the phoenix, whose tail feather resides in your wand gave one other feather, just one. It is curious that you should be destined for this wand when its brother gave you that scar. {Points to scar}Harry: And...who owned that wand?Ollivander: Oh, we do not speak his name. The wand chooses the wizard, Mr. Potter. It's not always clear why, but I think it is clear that we can expect great things from you. After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things...terrible, yes, but great. {Hands Harry his wand.} There is a knock on the window. Hagrid: Harry! Harry! Happy birthday! {Has a snowy owl in a cage which hoots.}Harry: Wow. Scene: Later, eating supper. The two, Hagrid and Harry, are at a long table, eating soup. Hagrid: You all right, Harry? You seem very quiet.Harry: He killed my parents, didn't he? The one who gave me this. You know, Hagrid, I know you do.Hagrid: {Sighs and pushes bowl away} First, and understand this, Harry, 'cause it's very important. Not all wizards are good. Some of them go bad. A few years ago there was one wizard who went as bad as you can go. And his name was V-...his name was V-...Harry: Maybe if you wrote it down?Hagrid: No, I can't spell it. All right. His name was Voldemort.Harry: Voldemort?Hagrid: Shh!!{Harry looks around} A flashback ensues, consisting off a cloaked man walking towards a house, breaking in with his wand, and proceeding to terrorize. Hagrid narrates. Hagrid: It was dark times, Harry, dark times. Voldemort started to gather some followers, brought 'em over to the dark side. Anyone that stood up to him ended up dead. Your parents fought against him, but nobody lived once he decided to kill 'em. {Harrys mother, LILY, screams as she is killed by Voldemorts wand} Nobody...not one. Except you. {close-up of baby Harry.}Harry: Me? Voldemort tried to kill...me?Hagrid: Yes. That ain't no ordinary cut on your forehead, Harry. A mark like that only comes from being touched by a curse...and an evil curse at that.Harry: What happened to Vo-...to You-Know-Who?Hagrid: Some say he died. Codswallop in my opinion. Nope, I reckon he's out there, still, too tired to go on. But one thing's absolutely certain. Something about you stumped him that night. That's why you're famous, Harry. That's why everbody knows your name. You're the boy who lived. Scene: prefix = st2 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" ?London Train Station. Up on a crossing bridge, prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas:contacts" ?Harry (with cart and owl) walk beside Hagrid. prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" ? A couple look at Hagrid. Hagrid: What're you looking at? {Looks at watch} Blimey, is that the time?? Sorry, Harry, I'm gonna have to leave you. Dumbledore'll be wanting his...well, he'll be wanting to see me. Now, uh, your train leaves in 10 minutes. Here's your ticket. Stick to it, Harry that's very important. Stick to your ticket. Harry looks at his golden ticket. Harry: Platform 9 ¾? But Hagrid, there must be a mistake. This says Platform 9 ¾. There's no such thing...is there? {Harry looks up and Hagrid has vanished.} Scene: Harry is walking down lane between trains. A man rushes by. Man: Sorry.Harry sees a train master.Harry: Excuse me, excuse me.Trainmaster: {talking to woman and child} Right on your left, ma'am.Harry: Excuse me, Sir. Can you tell me where I might find Platform 9 ¾?Trainmaster: 9 ¾? Think youre being funny, do ya? {Leaves} A woman, daughter, and four boys walk by, pushing carts. Mrs. Weasley: It's the same year after year. Always packed with Muggles, of course.Harry: Muggles?Mrs. Weasley: Come on. Platform 9 ¾ this way! All right, Percy, you first. A tall boy with red hair comes forward and runs towards a brick wall. Amazingly, he disappears right into it. Harry is amazed. Mrs. Weasley: Fred, you next.George: He's not Fred, I am!Fred: Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother!Mrs. Weasley: Oh, I'm sorry, George.Fred: I'm only joking. I am Fred. {He runs through the wall, and is followed by his twin brother.} Harry shakes his head in disbelief. Harry: Excuse me! C-could you tell me how toMrs. Weasley: How to get on the platform? Yes, not to worry, dear. It's Ron's first time to Hogwarts as well. {pan to a red haired boy who smiles} Now, all you've got to do is walk straight at the wall between platforms 9 and 10. Best do it at a bit of a run if youre nervous.Ginny (daughter): Good luck. Harry takes a breath and runs at the wall. He shuts his eyes and emerges on the other side a magnificent station with a red train and bundles of people. A whistle blows, and Harry sighs with relief. Scene: The train is traveling through unknown country. Pan to inside compartment, where Harry is sitting. The red headed boy, RON, appears, dirt on his nose. Ron: Excuse me, do you mind? Everywhere else is full.Harry: No, not at all.Ron: {sits across from Harry} I'm Ron, by the way. Ron Weasley.Harry: I'm Harry. Harry Potter.{Ron goes agape.}Ron: So-so it's true?! I mean, do you really have the...the...Harry: The what?Ron: {whispers} Scar...?Harry: Oh, yeah. {lifts up hair}Ron: Wicked.A trolley comes by the compartment, full of sweets.Woman: Anything off the trolley, dears?Ron: {Holds up mushed sandwiches} No, thanks, I'm all set. {smacks lips.}Harry: {pulls out coins} We'll take the lot!Ron: Whoa! Scene: Eating bundles of sweets.Ron's rat, Scabbers, is perched on Ron's knee, a box over its head. Harry: Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans?Ron: They mean every flavour! There's chocolate and peppermint, and there's also spinach, liver and tripe. George sweared he got a bogey-flavoured one once! Harry quickly takes the bean he was chewing out of his mouth. Harry: {picks up blue and gold package} These aren't real chocolate frogs, are they?Ron: It's only a spell. Besides, it's the cards you want. Each pack's got a famous witch or wizard. I got about 500 meself.Frog: Ribbit. {The frog jumps onto the window and climbs up, then leaps out the window...disappearing.}Ron: Oh, that's rotten luck. They've only got one good jump in them to begin with.Harry: Hey, I got Dumbledore!Ron: I got about 6 of him.Harry: Hey, he's gone!Ron: Well, you can't expect him to hang around all day, can you? {Scabbers squeaks} This is Scabbers, by the way, pitiful, isn't he?Harry: Just a little bit.Ron: Fred gave me a spell as to turn him yellow. Want to see?Harry: Yeah!Ron: {clears throat} Ahem. Sun- A girl, HERMIONE GRANGER, with bushy brown hair appears at the doorway. Hermione: Has anyone seen a toad? A boy named Neville's lost one.Ron: No.Hermione: Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see then.Ron: Aghhhemm. Sunshine, daises, butter mellow, turn this stupid fat rat yellow!{Zap. Nothing happens. Ron shrugs.}Hermione: Are you sure that's a real spell? Well, it's not very good, is it? Of course I've only tried a few simple spells myself, and they've all worked for me. For example...{Hermione goes over and sits across from Harry. He points her hand at his glasses and Harry tenses} Oculus Reparo. {The glasses, which noseband is battered, are repaired. Harry takes them off, amazed.} That's better, isn't it? Holy Cricket, you're Harry Potter. I'm Hermione Granger...and you are...?Ron: {full mouth} I'm...Ron Weasley.Hermione: Pleasure. You two better change into your robes. I expect we'll be arriving soon. {Gets up and leaves, then comes back and looks at Ron.} You've got dirt, on your nose, by the way, did you know? Just there. {Points} {Ron scratches his nose, embarrassed.} Scene: Darkness, the train blows its whistle and pulls into an outdoor station. Hagrid walks along the side aisle, with a lantern. People begin pouring out of the train. Hagrid: Right, then! First years! This way, please! Come on, now, don't be shy! Come on now, hurry up! Harry and Ron walk up to Hagrid. Hagrid: Hello, Harry.Harry: Hey, Hagrid.Ron: Whoaa!Hagrid: Right then. This way to the boats! Come on, now, follow me. Scene:A number of boats are plugging across a vast lake, where up ahead a huge castle can be seen. People are in awe.Ron: Wicked. Scene: On a higher level, Professor McGonagall is waiting. She raps her fingers on a stone railing, and then goes to the top of the stairs to greet the newcomers. McGonagall: Welcome to Hogwarts. Now, in a few moments, you will pass through these doors and join your classmates. But before you can take your seats you must be sorted into your houses. They are Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. Now, while you are here, your house will be like your family. Your triumphs will earn you house points. Any rule breaking, and you will lose points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM, a scared looking boy, spots his toad sitting near McGonagall. He jumps forward. Neville: Trevor! {McGonagall stares down at him} Sorry. {He backs away.}McGonagall: The sorting ceremony will begin momentarily. {leaves} DRACO MALFOY, a slicked back evil looking boy speaks up. Draco: It's true then, what they're saying on the train. Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts. {Students whisper, Harry Potter?} This is Crabbe, and Goyle {nods to thugs} and I'm Malfoy...Draco Malfoy. {Ron snickers at his name} Think my name's funny, do you? No need to ask yours. Red hair, and a hand me down robe? You must be a Weasley. Well soon find that some wizarding families are better than others, Potter. Dont want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there. {extends hand.}Harry: I think I can tell who the wrong sort are for myself, thanks. Draco glares. McGonagall returns and smacks him on the shoulder with a paper. He retreats with one last glare. McGonagall: We're ready for you now. She leads everyone through two large doors and into the Great Hall, where there are four long tables with many kids, as well as floating candles. The roof appears to be the sky. Hermione: It's not real, the ceiling. It's just bewitched to look like the night sky. I read about it in Hogwarts: A History.McGonagall: All right, will you wait along here, please? Now, before we begin, Professor Dumbldedore would like to say a few words. Dumbledore rises from the main table. Dumbledore: I have a few start of term notices I wish to announce. The first years please note that the dark forest is strictly forbidden to all students. Also, our caretaker, Mr. Filch {signals to ragged old man with a cat with red eyes} has asked me to remind you that the 3rd floor corridor on the right hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a most painful death. Thank you.McGonagall: When I call your name, you will come forth, I shall place the sorting hat on your head, and you will be sorted into your houses. Hermione Granger.Hermione: Oh, no. Okay, relax. {She goes up}Ron: Mental that one, I'm telling you.Harry nods in agreement.Sorting Hat: Ah, right then...hmm...right. Okay...Gryffindor!!(Cheering) Hermione jumps off with a smile. McGonagall: Draco Malfoy. Draco saunters up proudly. The tattered hat nearly freaks before touching down on Dracos head. Sorting Hat: SLYTHERIN! Ron: There isn't a witch or wizard who went bad who wasnt in Slytherin.McGonagall: Susan Bones. A small, redhead goes up.Harry looks around and spots a black haired, pale teacher, SEVERUS SNAPE, looking at him. His scar hurts. Harry: Ahh! {puts hand on forehead}Ron: Harry, what is it?Harry: Nothing...it's nothing, I'm fine. Sorting Hat: Let's see...I know...Hufflepuff!McGonagall: Ronald Weasley. Ron gulps and walks up. He sits down and the hat is put on. Sorting Hat: Ah! Another Weasley. I know just where to put you...Gryffindor!!Ron: {Sighs}(Cheering) McGonagall: Harry Potter. Everything goes silent. Harry walks up and sits down. Sorting Hat: Hmm...difficult, very difficult. Plenty of courage I see, not a bad mind, either. There's talent, oh yes, and a thirst to prove yourself. But where to put you?Harry: {whispers} Not Slytherin. Not Slytherin.Sorting Hat: Not Slytherin, eh? Are you sure? You could be great, you know. Its all here in your head. And Slytherin will help you on your way to greatness! There's no doubt about that! No? {Harry whispers: Not Slytherin...anything but Slytherin} Well, if youre sure...better be...GRYFFINDOR!! There is an immense cheering and Harry goes to the Gryffindor table.Fred and George are also there, and cheer: We got Potter! We got Potter! Harry sits down. McGonagall: {dings on a cup} Your attention, please.Dumbledore: Let the feast...begin. Food magically appears on all the tables, and the hall is filled with awe and chatter. Harry: Wow. Draco looks at all the food, raises his eyebrows and digs in.Ron stuffs his face. SEAMUS FINNIGAN, a tiny boy, speaks. Seamus: I'm half and half. Me dad's a Muggle. Mam's a witch. Bit of a nasty shock for him when he found out.Neville laughs. Harry is sitting next to Percy. He leans over. Harry: Say, Percy, who's that teacher talking to Professor Quirrell?Percy: Oh, that's Professor Snape, head of Slytherin house.Harry: What's he teach?Percy: Potions. But everyone knows it's the Dark Arts he fancies. He's been after Quirrells job for years. Ron, having just finished a chicken wing, reaches into the bowl for more, and a ghostly head, SIR NICHOLAS, pops out. Ron: Ahh!Nick: Hello! How are you? Welcome to Gryffindor. Numerous ghosts come pouring from the walls, sailing along. Hufflepuff ghost: Whoo-hoo-hoo!Girl: Look, its the Bloody Baron!Percy: Hello, Sir Nicholas. Have a nice summer?Nick: Dismal. Once again, my request to join the headless hunt has been denied. {Begins to leave}Ron: Hey, I know you! You're Nearly Headless Nick!Nick: I prefer Sir Nicholas if you don't mind.Hermione: Nearly headless? How can you be nearly headless?Nick: Like this. {Grabs head and pulls it to the side. His head is hanging on just by a thread.}Ron: Ahh!Hermione: Eugh. Scene:Percy is leading the Gryffindors to the staircases. Percy: Gryffindors, follow me please. Keep up. Thank you.Boy: Ravenclaw, follow me. This way.Percy: This is the most direct path to the dormitories. Oh, and keep an eye on the staircases...they like to change. The camera pans up and we see a vast amount of staircases, people walking on them, and some switching places. Percy: Keep up, please, and follow me. Quickly now, come on. Come on. {They begin walking up the stairs}Neville: Seamus, that picture's moving!Ron: Look at that one, Harry!Harry: I think she fancies you.Girl: Oh, look! Look! Who's that girl?Man in painting: Welcome to Hogwarts.Girl: Who's that? Scene:Approaching the Gryffindor dorms. They come up to a large painting of a large woman in a pink dress. Woman: Password?Percy: Caput Draconis. {The woman nods and the painting opens to reveal a gape in the wall.} Follow me, everyone. Keep up, quickly, come on.Girl: Oh, wow.Percy: {Inside common room} Gather 'round here. Welcome to the Gryffindor Common Room. Boys' dormitories, upstairs and down to your left. Girls, the same on your right. You'll find that your belongings have already been brought up. Scene: Mid-night. Harry is sitting by a window in his pj's, with his owl, Hedwig. He pets the owl and looks out the window, sighing with content. Scene: Morning. prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas:contacts" ?Harry and Ron are running through the stone halls to their class. They rush in. In the class, a tabby cat is sitting on a desk.prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" ? Ron: Whew, amazing, can you imagine the look on old McGonagall's face if we were late? The cat jumps off the desk and turns into prefix = st2 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" ?Professor McGonagall. The two boys are amazed. Ron: That was bloody brilliant.McGonagall: Thank you for that assessment, Mr. Weasley. Maybe if I were to transfigure Mr. Potter and yourself into a pocketwatch, maybe one of you would be on time.Harry: We got lost.McGonagall: Then perhaps a map? I trust you don't need one to find your seats. Scene: Snape's potions class. The students are chattering, sitting near steaming cauldrons. The door slams open and Snape comes rushing in. Snape: There will be no foolish wand waving or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don't expect many of you to enjoy the subtle science and exact art that is potion making. However, for those select few {looks at Draco, who smiles}, who possess the predisposition, I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory and even put a stopper {Draco looks on} in death. {Draco raises his eyebrows.} {Snape sees Harry, writing this down, in, his view, not paying attention.} Then again, maybe some of you have come to Hogwarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel confidant enough to not...pay...attention. Hermione nudges Harry in the ribs. He looks up. Snape: Mr. Potter. Our...new...celebrity. Tell me, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood? {Hermione's hand skyrockets. Harry shrugs.} You don't know? Well, let's try again. Where, Mr. Potter, would you look if I asked you to find me a bezoar? {Hermione's hand shoots up again.}Harry: I don't know, Sir.Snape: And what is the difference between Monkshood and Wolfbane?Harry: I don't know, Sir.Snape: Pity. Clearly, fame isn't everything, is it, Mr. Potter? Scene: In the great hall, probably midday. The students are all working on homework. Seamus is trying a spell on a cup. Seamus: Eye of rabbit, harp string hum. Turn this water, into rum. {Looks in cup and shakes head.} Eye of rabbit, harp string hum...Harry: What's Seamus trying to do to that glass of water?Ron: Turn it into rum. Actually managed a weak tea yesterday, before... ZAPOOF! The cup explodes. There is laughter amongst the students. Suddenly, a flock of owls start coming into the hall from the rafters above. Ron: Ah. Mail's here! The owls soar by, dropping parcels to students. Harry gets nothing. He sees the newspaper Ron has put down. Harry: Can I borrow this? {Ron nods} Thanks. Neville is unwrapping a gift. It is a clear ball with gold around it. Seamus: Hey, look! Neville's got a Remembrall!Hermione: I've read about those. When the smoke turns red {the smoke turns red}, it means you've forgotten something.Neville: The only problem is, I can't remember what I've forgotten.

2017-01-13 17:30:23 UTC

Harry: Hey, Ron, somebody broke into Gringotts. Listen, Believed to be the work of dark witches or wizards unknown, Gringotts goblins, while acknowledging the breach, insist that nothing was taken. The vault in question, number 713, had in fact been emptied earlier that same day. That's odd. That's the vault Hagrid and I went to. Scene: Outside, flying practice. The students, Gryffindor and Slytherin, are lined up in two rows with brooms by their sides. The teacher, MADAM HOOCH, comes down the line. She has short hair and hawk yellow eyes. Hooch: Good afternoon, class.Class: Good afternoon, Madam Hooch.Hooch: Good afternoon, Amanda, good afternoon. {to class} Welcome to your first flying lesson. Well, what are you waiting for? Everyone step up to the left side of their broomstick. Come on now, hurry up. Stick your right hand over the broom and say, Up!Class: Up! Harry's broom flies into his hand. Harry: Whoa. {Hermione stares as the class continues.}Draco: Up! {broomstick flies up and Draco smugly grins.}Hooch: With feeling!Hermione: Up. Up. Up. Up.Ron: Up!! {His broom flies up and conks him on the nose} Ow! {Harry laughs} Shut up, Harry. {laughs}Hooch: Now, once you've got hold of your broom, I want you to mount it. And grip it tight, you don't want to be sliding off the end. {Class mounts} When I blow my whistle, I want each of you to kick off from the ground, hard. Keep your broom steady, hover for a moment, and then lean forward slightly and touch back down. On my whistle...3...2...{tweet!} Neville immediately lifts off. He looks quite frightened. Neville: Oh...Hooch: Mr. Longbottom.Girl: Neville, what are you doing?Students: Neville...Neville...Boy: We're not supposed to take off, yet.Hooch: {Neville begins soaring away} M-M-Mr. Longbottom Mr. Longbottom!Neville: AHH!
Hooch: Mr. Longbottom!Neville: {soars away} Down! Down! Ahhhh!Harry: Neville! {shouting}Neville: Help!!!Hooch: Come back down this instant!Neville: AHH! He soars through the sky and hits a wall, conking along it and then swooping off. All the while, he is screaming. He begins to zoom back towards the group of students. Hooch holds out her wand to stop him. Neville: Help!Hooch: Mr. Longbottom! {Neville approaches. The students scatter and Hooch dives out of the way. Neville goes through the scatter and up a tower.}Neville: Ahhhh! Whoa! Ahhh! {zooms past a statue of a man with a sharp spear. Neville's cloak catches on it. He is flipped off the broom and hangs there.} Oh. Ah...help! {He wavers, then the cloak rips, and he falls, catching on a torch, but then slipping out and falling to the ground.} Ahh!Hooch: Everyone out of the way! {She runs through the group, and they scatter.} Come on, get up.Girl: Is he alright?Neville: Owowowow.Hooch: Oh, oh, oh, oh dear. It's a broken wrist. Tch, tch, tch. Good boy, come on now, up you get. {Draco reaches down and grabs Neville's Remembrall, which has fallen. Hooch begins to lead Neville away with her.} Everyone's to keep their feet firmly on the ground while I take Mr. Longbottom to the hospital wing. Understand? If I see a single broom in the air, the one riding it will find themselves out of Hogwarts before they can say, Quidditch. {Exit.}Draco: {snickers} Did you see his face? Maybe if the fat lump had given this a squeeze, he'd have remembered to fall on his fat ass. {Laughs.}Harry: Give it here, Malfoy.Draco: No. I think I'll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to find. {hops on broom and soars around group, then through.} How 'bout up on the roof?? {soars off and hovers high in the sky.} What's the matter, Potter? Bit beyond your reach? Harry grabs his broom and runs to get on it. Hermione stops him. Hermione: Harry, no! You heard what Madam Hooch said! Besides, you don't even know how to fly. {Harry flies off.} What an idiot. Harry is now in the air, across from Draco. Harry: Give it here, Malfoy, or I'll knock you off your broom!Draco: Is that so? {Harry makes a dash for him, but Draco twirls around his broom in a 360.} Have it your way, then! {He throws the Remembrall into the air.} Harry zooms after the ball, speeding towards a tower. Just as he is about to hit a window, from which McGonagall is working/watching, he catches it, and then heads back to the group. The students all cheer and run to see him. Boy: Good job, Harry!Boy 2: Oh, that was wicked, Harry.McGonagall: {appears quickly} Harry Potter? Follow me. {Harry sullenly follows her. Draco and his goons laugh.} Scene: Professor Quirrells classroom. He is inside, teaching, holding an iguana. Quirrell: An iguana s-such as this is {McGonagall approaches the class and stops Harry: You wait here.} an essential in-gredientMcGonagall: Excuse me, excuse me, Professor Quirrell. Could I borrow Wood for a moment?Quirrell: Oh. Y-yes, of course. {a boy, OLIVER WOOD, gets up to leave and Quirrell continues.} And the vampire b-bat...{eerie roar.}McGonagall: Potter, this is Oliver Wood. Wood, I have found you a Seeker! Scene: Harry and Ron are walking through crowded halls. Sir Nicholas and a lady ghost float by. Nick: Have you heard? Harry Potter's the new Gryffindor Seeker. I always knew hed do well.Ron: Seeker? But first years never make their house teams! You must be the youngest Quidditch player inHarry: A century, according to McGonagall. Fred and George approach and walk along with Ron and Harry. Fred: Hey, well done, Harry, Wood's just told us!Ron: Fred and George are on the team, too. Beaters.George: Our job is to make sure that you don't get bloodied up too bad. Can't make any promises, of course. Rough game, Quidditch.Fred: Brutal. But no one's died in years. Someone will vanish occasionally... {They break off from Harry and Ron, who walk across a courtyard. George: But they'll turn up in a month or two!!Ron: Oh, go on, Harry, Quidditch is great. Best game there is! And you'll be great, too! {Hermione jumps up from her work and comes to join them.}Harry: But I've never even played Quidditch. What if I make a fool of myself?Hermione: You won't make a fool of yourself. It's in your blood. Scene: The three approach a trophy case. Hermione points at a plaque of Quidditch players. One lists Harry's father as a Seeker. Ron: Whoa. Harry, you never told me your father was a Seeker, too.Harry: I-I didn't know. Scene: The three are walking up a staircase. A railing pulls in...Hermione looks, but continues walking. Ron: I'm telling you, it's spooky. She knows more about you than you do.Harry: Who doesn't? The staircase shudders and begins to move. The three grab the railings. Ron: Ahh!Hermione: {Gasps.}Harry: What's happening?Hermione: The staircases change, remember? {The staircase stops, in a new place.}Harry: {taps Ron} Let's go this way.Ron: Before the staircase moves again. {They all open a door and walk into a spooky, dark room.}Harry: Does anyone feel like...we shouldn't be here?Hermione: We're not supposed to be here. This is the 3rd floor. It's forbidden. Suddenly, a flame lights on a tall stone support. At that moment, the caretaker's cat, MRS. NORRIS, comes running in and meows. The group jumps. Harry: Let's go.{meow}Ron: It's Filch's cat!Harry: Run! The group runs. Flames are lit as they go. They get to the end of the corridor, to a door. Harry grabs the handle, but it's locked. Harry: It's locked!Ron: That's it, we're done for!Hermione: Oh, move over! {pushes through and pulls out wand} Alohomora. {The door opens.} Get in. {They bustle in.}Ron: Alohomora?Hermione: Standard book of spells, Chapter 7. Filch appears at the start of the corridor with a light. Mrs. Norris looks at him. Filch: Anyone here, my sweet? {meow} Come on. {exit.}Hermione: Filch is gone.Ron: Probably thinks this door's locked.Hermione: It was locked.Harry: And for good reason. {Ron and Hermione turn to stand with Harry. There is a massively huge three headed dog sleeping in front of them. The dog, FLUFFY, begins to wake. It growls, yawns, and growls more...noticing the intruders.}All: AHHHHHHH! {The three bolt, running out of the door. They turn quickly to shut the door and battle against the dog. They get the door shut and run.} Scene:Back in the Gryffindor room. They are breathless. Ron: What do they think they're doing?? Keeping a thing like that locked up in a school.Hermione: You don't use your eyes, do you? Didn't you see what it was standing on?Ron: I wasn't looking at its feet! I was a bit preoccupied with its heads. Or maybe you didn't notice, there were three! {they begin to climb the stairs to the dorms.}Hermione: It was standing on a trap door. Which means it wasn't there by accident. It's guarding something.Harry: Guarding something?Hermione: That's right. Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed...or worse, expelled! {turns and leaves, shutting the door to her dorms.}Ron: She needs to sort out her priorities!Harry nods. Scene: Outside, day time. Oliver and Harry appear, carrying a trunk. They put it down. Oliver: Quidditch is easy enough to understand. Each time has seven players, 3 chasers, 2 beaters, 1 keeper and a seeker that's you. There are three kinds of balls. {picks up a red one} This one's called the Quaffle. Now, the chasers handle the Quaffle and try to put it through one of those three hoops. {Points to a faraway Quidditch pitch.} The keeper, that's me, defends the hoops. {throws ball to Harry.} With me so far?Harry: {throws back} I think so. What are those? {points to two squirming chained down balls.}Oliver: ...You better take this. {hands Harry a small bat. He bends down and releases one ball. With an angry growl, it flies off into the air. The two boys watch it.} Careful now, it's comin' back. {The balls comes whizzing down, and Harry cracks at it with the bat. The ball soars off through a statue.} Eh, not bad, Potter, you'd make a fair beater...Uh-oh. {The ball zooms down, and Oliver grabs it, wriggling to get it back in the box. He succeeds and is out of breath.} Bludger. Nasty little buggers. But the only ball I want you to worry about is this...the Golden Snitch. {hands Harry a walnut sized golden ball.}Harry: I like this ball.Oliver: Ah, you like it now. Just wait. It's wicked fast and damn near impossible to see.Harry: What do I do with it?Oliver: You catch it...before the other team's seeker. You catch this, the game is over. You catch this, Potter, and we win.{The ball flutters out two delicate wings and jumps into the air. Harry keeps an eye on it.}Harry: Whoa. Scene: PROFESSOR FLITWICK's class. The teacher is very short, and is standing on a bunch of books. Flitwick: One of a wizard's most rudimentary skills is levitation the ability to make objects fly. Uh, do you all have your feathers? {Hermione raises hers.} Good. Now, uh, don't forget the nice wrist movement we've been practicing, hmm? The swish and flick. Everyone. {All} The swish and flick. Good. And enunciate. Wingardium Leviosa. Off you go then.Draco: Wingardium Levio-saaa.{All practice.}Ron: Wingardrium Leviosar. {whacks with wand numerous times.}Hermione: Stop, stop, stop. You're going to take someone's eye out. Besides, youre saying it wrong. It's Leviosa, not Leviosar.Ron: You do it then if you're so clever. Go on, go on. Hermione straightens up and swishes her wand. Hermione: {crisply} Wingardium Leviosa. {The feather glows and lifts up. Ron puts his head on his books dejectedly.}Flitwick: Oh, well done! See here, everyone! Ms. Granger's done it! Oh, splendid! Seamus begins swishing at his feather. Seamus: Wingard Levosa. Wingard Levosa. {Flitwick to Hermione: Well done, dear.} BOOOM!!! Seamus' feather explodes. Flitwick gasps. Flitwick: Whooaaa! Ooh.Harry: I think we're going to need another feather over here, Professor. Scene: Neville, Harry, Ron and Seamus are walking through a courtyard with other students all around. Ron: It's Leviosa, not Leviosar. Honestly, she's a nightmare. No wonder she hasn't got any friends! Hermione bustles past, sniffling. Harry: I think she heard you. Scene: Night, in the great hall. It is Halloween. Everyone is eating candy, and Jack O'Lanterns are keeping the place lit. There is chatter. Harry: Where's Hermione?Neville: Parvati Patil said that she wouldn't come out of the girl's bathroom. She said that she'd been in there all afternoon...crying.{Ron and Harry exchange glances. Suddenly, Professor Quirrell comes flying into the room, screaming.}Quirrell: TROLL! IN THE DUNGEON! T-TROOLLL IN THE DUNGEON!! {stops and there is utter silence.} Thought you ought to know. {falls over in a dead faint.} The room is silent, and then everyone freaks, screaming and running. Dumbledore: SILLLLLEEENNNNCEEEEE! {Everyone stops.} Everyone will please, not panic. Now, Prefects will lead their houses back to the dormitories. Teachers will follow me to the dungeons.Girl: Hufflepuff, this way!Boy: Stay together! Snape looks aghast, and he disappears through a doorway. Scene: Percy is leading the house down a hall. Percy: Gryffindors...keep up please. And stay alert!Harry: How could a troll get in?Ron: Not by itself. Trolls are really stupid. Probably people playing jokes. {Suddenly, Harry stops and pulls Ron aside.} What?Harry: Hermione! She doesn't know! The two run off, down corridors. They start running down a hall when they stop, because there is a grunting noise. Harry pulls Ron into a doorway and a large, ugly TROLL thunks by into a room. Harry: He's going into the Girl's Bathroom! Scene: In the bathroom, Hermione emerges from a stall, wiping her eyes. She stops when she sees something. The troll is standing there. Hermione backs up, into the stall just as the troll raises its club and smashes the top part of the stalls. Hermione screams. Harry and Ron come bursting in. Harry: Hermione, move! The troll smashes the remaining stalls. Hermione: Help! Help! {The boys start throwing wood pieces at the troll.}Ron: Hey, pea brain! {Ron throws wood and hits the troll on the head. Hermione escapes from the stalls to under a sink, but the troll sees her and goes to smash her. It cracks the sink and barely misses Hermione. Harry cringes.}Hermione: Ahhh! Help! Harry gets out his wand. He runs forward and grabs the troll's club, and is lifted up. Harry: Whooa! Whoa, whoa! {He lands on the troll's head, and is hurled forward, then back, and his wand goes up the troll's nose.}Ron: Ew. The troll snorts, and whips around. Harry: Whoa, whoa whoa! The troll gets Harry off its head and is holding him by one leg, upside down. It gears up its club and swipes at Harry. He pulls himself up, then down. The troll swipes again. Harry: Do something! {swipe}Ron: What? {swipe}Harry: Anything! Hurry up! Ron grabs his wand. Under the sink, Hermione waves her hand. Hermione: Swish and flick!Ron: Wingardium Leviosa! {flick. The club is lifted out of the troll's hand and hovers above its head. The troll looks up, confused, just as the club comes crashing back down. (Ron: Cool.) It hits the troll's head and the troll wavers, then drops Harry, who crawls away, and comes crashing down, hard. Hermione approaches carefully. Hermione: Is it...dead?Harry: I don't think so. Just knocked out. {He grabs his wand...which is covered in goo.} Ew. Troll bogies. Suddenly, McGonagall, Snape and Quirrell come rushing in.They all gasp. McGonagall: Oh! Oh, my goodness! E-Explain yourselves, both of you!Ron and Harry: Well, what it is...Hermione: It's my fault, Professor McGonagall. {The teachers, and Ron and Harry, gape}McGonagall: Ms. Granger?Hermione: I went looking for the troll. I'd read about them and thought I could handle it. But I was wrong. If Harry and Ron hadn't come and found me...I'd probably be dead.McGonagall: Be that as it may...it was an extremely foolish thing to do. {Harry looks at Snape's leg...which has a large cut on it. Snape notices and covers it up, glaring at Harry.} I would have expected more rational behaviour on your part, Ms. Granger. 5 points will be taken from Gryffindor for your serious lack of judgment. As for you two gentlemen I just hope you realize how fortunate you are. Not many students could take on a full grown mountain troll and live to tell the tale. 5 points...will be awarded to each of you. For sheer dumb luck. {Snape and McGonagall exit.}Quirrell: Perhaps you ought to go...M-might wake up...heh. {Exit Ron and Harry and Hermione.} {Troll roars.} Ahh! Hehe.... Scene: The next morning, in the great hall. The gang is sitting, eating. Harry is twirling his food on a fork. Ron: Take a bit of toast, mate, go on.Hermione: Ron's right, Harry. You're gonna need your strength today.Harry: I'm not hungry. Snape appears. Snape: Good luck today, Potter. Then again, now that you've proven yourself against a troll, a little game of Quidditch should be easy work for you...even if it is against Slytherin. {Leaves, limping.}Harry: That explains the blood.Hermione: Blood?Harry: Listen, last night, I'm guessing Snape let the troll in as a diversion so he could try and get past that 3 headed dog. But, he got himself bitten, that's why he's limping.Hermione: But why would anyone go near that dog?Harry: The day I was at Gringotts, Hagrid took something out of one of the vaults. He said it was Hogwarts' business, very secret.Hermione: So you're saying...Harry: That's what the dog's guarding. That's what Snape wants.{An owl screeches. It is Hedwig. She is carrying a very large, long parcel. She drops it off.}Hermione: Bit early for mail, isn't it?Harry: But I-I never get mail.Ron: Let's open it.{They open it.}Harry: It's a broomstick!
Ron: Thats not just any broomstick, Harry. It's a Nimbus 2000!Harry: But who...?{He sees Professor McGonagall up at the head table, stroking Hedwig. She smiles and Harry nods.} Scene: Inside a Quidditch tower. The Gryffindor team is marching towards the starting gate. They reach it and stop, behind a closed double door. OIiver: Scared, Harry?Harry: A little bit.Oliver: That's all right. I felt the same way before my first game.Harry: What happened?
Oliver: Er, I don't really remember. I took a bludger to the head 2 minutes in. Woke up in the hospital a week later. Harry gulps and looks straight ahead as the doors open. They mount their brooms and zoom out onto the enormous pitch. There is cheering. The commentator, LEE JORDAN, is talking from a tower. Lee: Hello, and welcome to Hogwarts' first Quidditch game of the season! Today's game Slytherin versus Gryffindor!!! {Cheering. Close-up of Gryffindor students. They are cheering. Neville: Gryffindor!} The players take their positions in the air in a circle. Harry weaves in, highest amongst. He looks down. Lee: The players take their positions as Madam Hooch steps out onto the field to begin the game.Hooch: Now, I want a nice clean game...from all of you. {looks at Slytherin. She kicks the trunk, and the bludgers zoom out.}Lee: The bludgers are up...followed by the Golden Snitch. Remember, the snitch is worth 150 points. The seeker who catches the Snitch ends the game. The snitch zooms around each Seeker's head, then disappears. Hooch grabs the Quaffle. Lee: The Quaffle is released...and the game begins! Gryffindor takes possession of the ball and a chaser, ANGELINA JOHNSON, zooms past Slytherins towards their goal, and throws the ball, and scores! There is a ding. Lee: Angelina Johnson scores! 10 points for Gryffindor! {He presses a button and a 10 shows up beside a plaque with Gryffindors name.} Harry, in the air, claps. Harry: Yes! {a bludger zooms by him.} Whoa! In the stands, Gryffindor cheers. Hagrid: Well done!Lee: Slytherin takes possession of the Quaffle. Bletchley passes to Captain Marcus Flint. Flint dodges people and throws for the Gryffindor hoops. Oliver appears and whacks the ball away with his broom. He smirks at Flint, who glares. Johnson and KATIE BELL pass the Quaffle back and forth as they strategize to score. Johnson takes it, throws, and once again scores! Ron and Seamus: Yay!Harry: Yes!Lee: Another 10 points to Gryffindor! {ding.}Gryffindors: Yay! The Slytherins decide to get messy. They dodge, kick, and try to score. Once again, Oliver blocks. Flint: Give me that! {he grabs a beaters bat from one and whacks a bludger right at Oliver. It hits Oliver in the stomach and he falls to the ground.} Crowd: {Booing}Harry is visibly upset.Slytherin laughs. The Slytherin members head off. One jumps over George (or Fred) and scores. Harry is upset again. Slytherin cheers. Flint: {to other members} Take that side! They box Johnson in and sent her into the capes covering one of the towers. She falls down in and is out. The crowd boos. Slytherin scores once again. Suddenly, Harry sees the Snitch. He starts to head off after it and then his broom starts bucking and turning. Harry: Whoa! Whooa!Hagrid: What's going on with Harry's broomstick? Hermione looks through binoculars at Harry, then at Snape, who is muttering something. Hermione: It's Snape! He's jinxing the broom!Ron: Jinxing the broom? What do we do?Hermione: Leave it to me. {She hands Ron her binoculars and leaves.} Harry is knocked around, then falls, dangling by one arm from the broom. Ron: Come on, Hermione! Hermione is hurrying up a tower. She appears underneath Snape and touches his cloak with her wand. Hermione: Lacarnum Inflamarae. A spark ignites and Snape's cloak catches fire. Hermione leaves. Man: Fire! You're on fire!Snape: What? Oh! {knocks the man back, who falls into Quirrell, who then also falls. Snape bats out the fire and acts as though nothing happened. The broom stop bucking, and Harry climbs back on. The Slytherin seeker is after the Snitch. Harry takes off.} Ron: Go!Hagrid: Go go go! Harry rams the Slytherin Seeker, then is butted out. He returns, smashing the Seeker again as the Snitch dives. The boys follow, but they approach the ground quickly. The Slytherin Seeker backs out, and Harry pulls up his broom as he follows the Snitch, feet above the ground. Harry stands up, and steps forward, trying to grab the ball. He goes too far, and topples off the broom with a yelp, tumbling on the ground. He gets up and lurches. The crowd gasps. Hermione appears beside a tower to see. Hagrid: Looks like he's gonna be sick! Harry lurches and the Snitch pops out of his mouth. It lands in his hands. Lee: He's got the Snitch! Harry Potter receives 150 points for catching the Snitch!Hooch: {Blows whistle} Gryffindor win!All: YAY!Draco: No!Hagrid: Yes!Hermione: Whoo-hoo!McGonagall: {Giggles happily} Harry raises the Snitch into the air and the crowd, and his team, cheers. Crowd: Go go Gryffindor! Go go Gryffindor! Go go Gryffindor! Go go Gryffindor! Scene:Harry, Hermione and Ron are walking along a path with Hagrid, talking. Hagrid: Nonsense. Why would Snape put a curse on Harry's broom?Harry: Who knows. Why was he trying to get past that 3 headed dog on Halloween?Hagrid: Who told you 'bout Fluffy?Ron: Fluffy?
Hermione: That thing has a name?Hagrid: Well, of course he's got a name. He's mine. I bought him off an Irish feller I met down at the pub last year. Then I lent him to Dumbledore to guard theHarry: Yes?Hagrid: Shouldn'ta said that. Don't ask any more questions. That's top secret, that is.Harry: But Hagrid, whatever Fluffy's guarding, Snape's trying to steal it!Hagrid: Codswallop. Professor Snape is a Hogwarts teacher.Hermione: Hogwarts teacher or not, I know a curse when I see one. I've read all about them. You have to keep eye contact. And Snape wasn't blinking.Harry: Exactly.Hagrid: {sighs} Now, you listen to me, all three of you. You're meddlin' in things that ought not to be meddled in. It's dangerous. What that dog is guarding is strictly between Professor Dumbledore and Nicholas Flamel.Harry: Nicholas Flamel?Hagrid: I shouldn't have said that. I should not have said that. I should not have said that. {Exit.}Harry: Nicholas Flamel...Who's Nicholas Flamel?Hermione: I don't know. Scene: Christmas. The camera pans up to a snowy castle, then to Hagrid, who is bringing in a large tree. Inside the great hall, students are leaving and ghosts are singing (Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, ring the Hogwarts bell. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas...) Hermione approaches the empty tables, wheeling a cart. She goes to Ron and Harry, who are playing chess. Harry: Knight to E-5. A piece moves across the board. Ron thinks for a moment. Ron: Queen to E-5. A queen walks over to E-5 and clinks the knight away. Hermione: That's totally barbaric!Ron: That's wizard's chess. I see you've packed.Hermione: See you haven't.Ron: Change of plans. My parents decided to go to Romania to visit my brother, Charlie. He's studying dragons there!Hermione: Good. You can help Harry, then. He's going to go the library for information on Nicholas Flamel.Ron: We've looked a hundred times!Hermione: Not in the restricted section...Happy Christmas. {exits.}Ron: I think we've had a bad influence on her. Scene:X-mas morning. Hedwig is perched in the boys' room, and Harry is asleep in bed. Ron: {calling from downstairs} Harry, wake up! Come on Harry, wake up! Harry gets up and runs to a balcony overlooking the common room, where Ron is standing next to a tree. He is wearing a sweater with an R on it. Ron: Happy Christmas, Harry.Harry: Happy Christmas, Ron. What are you wearing?Ron: Oh, Mum made it for me. Looks like you've got one too!Harry: I've got presents?Ron: Yeah!Harry: Oh! {Harry runs down the stairs.}Ron: There they are. {Ron sits on a couch arm and eats jelly beans as Harry picks up a silver wrapped package. Harry takes out the card.}Harry: "Your father left this in my possession before he died. It is time it was returned to you. Use it well." Harry opens the present. It is a cloak. Ron: What is it?Harry: Some kind of...cloak.Ron: Well, let's see then. Put it on. Harry puts the cloak on, and all of him disappears except for his head. Ron: Whoa!Harry: My body's gone!Ron: I know what that is! That's an invisibility cloak!Harry: I'm invisible??Ron: {gets up} They're really rare. I wonder who gave it to you.Harry: {comes over} There was no name. It just said, "Use it well." Scene:Late at night. A lantern and hand appear, but nothing else. The ensemble walk through the dark library and into the Restricted Section. The lamp is put down, and the cloak removed. Harry appears. Harry: {Reading books} Famous fire eaters...15th Century Fiends...Flamel...Nicholas Flamel...where are you? Harry picks up a book and opens it. A man's face appears. Man: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Harry slams the book shuts and puts it back. Filchs voice: Who's there?! {Harry whips around, grabbing his cloak. The lamp falls and shatters.} I know you're in there. You can't hide. {Harry puts on his cloak and creeps around Filch.} Who is it? Show yourself! Harry runs from the room, breathing heavily. He gets into the hall, where Mrs. Norris is. The cat meows and begins to follow him. Harry runs around a corner, just as Snape and Quirrell appear. Snape pushes Quirrell into the wall. Quirrell: Severus...I-I thought...Snape: You don't want me as your enemy, Quirrell.Quirrell: W-what do you m-mean?Snape: You know perfectly well what I mean. {Snape senses something. Harry stops breathing. Snape reaches out to grab something, but doesn't. He whips his finger back in front of Quirrell's face.} We'll have another chat soon...when you've had time to decide where your loyalties lie. Filch appears, carrying the broken lamp. Filch: Oh, Professors. I found this, in the Restricted Section. It's still hot. That means there's a student out of bed. They all dart off. A door opens, and closes. On the other side, there is a vast, empty room that has a large mirror in the center. Harry appears and walks over to the mirror. In it, he sees two people appear. Harry: Mum? {the woman nods and smiles} Dad? {nods and smiles. Harry reaches out to touch them, but only gets the mirror. Then, his mother puts her hand on his shoulder. He puts his own hand on his own shoulders, as if trying to feel her there. Scene:The boys' room. Harry comes whipping in, invisible. Harry: Ron! You've really got to see this! Ron! You've got to see this! {pulls back covers. Ron wakes up.} Ron, Ron, come on. Get out of bed!Ron: Why?Harry: There's something you've got to see. Now, come on! Scene:Back in the mirror room. Harry and Ron appear as if magically and Harry runs to the mirror. Harry: Come on. Come. Come look, it's my parents!Ron: I only see me.Harry: {moves over} Look in properly. Go on. Stand there. There. You see them, don't you? Thats my dadRon: That's me! Only, I'm head boy...and I'm holding the Quidditch cup! And bloody hell, I'm Quidditch Captain too! I look good. Harry, do you think this mirror shows the future?Harry: How can it? Both my parents are dead. {Harry smiles sadly.} Scene:Another night. Harry is sitting in front of the mirror. Dumbledore appears behind him. Dumbledore: Back again, Harry? {Harry turns around and stands up.} I see that you, like so many before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised. I trust by now you realize what it does. Let me give you a clue. The happiest man on earth would look into the mirror and see only himself, exactly as he is.Harry: So, then it shows us what we want? Whatever we want?Dumbledore: Yes...and no. It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desires of our hearts. Now you, who have never known your family, you see them standing beside you. But remember this, Harry. This mirror gives us neither knowledge or truth. Men have wasted away in front of it, even gone mad. That is why tomorrow it will be moved to a new home, and I must ask you not to go looking for it again. It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live. {Harry looks back at the mirror.} Scene:Daytime. It is all snowy. Harry is out in a main courtyard, bundled up, with Hedwig on his arm. He stops and she lifts off, soaring away into the sky. When she returns, it is spring time. Scene:In the library. Harry and Ron are seated, reading. Hermione comes up with a huge book. She thumps it onto the table. Harry jumps. Hermione: I had you looking in the wrong section! How could I be so stupid? I checked this out a few weeks ago for a bit of light reading.Ron: This is light?Hermione: {glares} Of course! Here it is! "Nicholas Flamel is the only known maker of the Philosopher's Stone!"Ron and Harry: The what?Hermione: Honestly, don't you two read? "The Philosopher's Stone is a legendary substance with astonishing powers. It will turn any metal into pure gold and produces the Elixir of Life, which will make the drinker immortal."Ron: Immortal?Hermione: It means you'll never die.Ron: I know what it means!Harry: Shh!Hermione: "The only stone currently in existence belongs to Mr. Nicholas Flamel, the noted alchemist, who last year celebrated his 665thbirthday!" That's what Fluffy's guarding on the 3rd floor. That's what's under the trapdoor...the Philosopher's Stone! They all look at each other. Scene:Nighttime. Hermione, Ron and Harry are running across the wet ground to Hagrids hut. They knock on the door and it opens. Harry: Hagrid!Hagrid: {clad in oven mitts and an apron} Oh, hello. Sorry, don't wish to be rude, but I'm in no fit state to entertain today. {Closes door.}All 3: We know about the Philosopher's Stone!{Door reopens.}Hagrid: Oh.{They all come into Hagrid's small hut.}Harry: We think Snape's trying to steal it.Hagrid: Snape? Blimey, Harry, you're not still on about him, are you?Harry: Hagrid, we know he's after the Stone. We just don't know why.Hagrid: Snape is one of the teachers protecting the Stone! He's not about to steal it!Harry: What?Hagrid: You heard. Right. Come on, now, I'm a bit preoccupied today.Harry: Wait a minute. {Ron and a big black boarhound, FANG, meet. Fang sniffs Ron.} One of the teachers?
Hermione: {sitting in a large chair} Of course! There are other things defending the Stone, aren't there? Spells, enchantments.Hagrid: That's right. Waste of bloody time, if you ask me.{Hermione looks at Ron, who is being sniffed in the face by Fang. Ron shuffles away.} Ain't no one gonna get past Fluffy. Hehe, not a soul knows how. Except for me and Dumbledore. I shouldn't have told you that. I shouldn't have told you that. {A cauldron over a fire begins to rattle.} Oh! {Hagrid hurries over and grabs something} Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! {puts the thing, an egg, on the table. The group crowds around.}Harry: Uh, Hagrid, what exactly is that?Hagrid: That? It's a ... its um...Ron: I know what that is! But Hagrid, how did you get one?Hagrid: I won it. Off a stranger I met down at a pub. Seemed quite glad to be rid off it, as a matter of fact. The egg rattles and cracks. Pieces fly off as a dragon emerges. It squeaks and slips on an egg piece. Hermione: Is that...a dragon?Ron: That's not just a dragon. That's a Norwegian Ridgeback! My brother Charlie works with these in Romania.Hagrid: Isn't he beautiful? Oh. Bless him, look. He knows his mummy. Hehe. Hallo, Norbert. {The dragon squeaks as it looks at Hagrid.}Harry: Norbert?Hagrid: Yeah, well, he's got to have a name, doesn't he?Ron: {laughs}Hagrid: Don't you, Norbert? {raises fingers back and forth across Norberts chin} Dededede. Norbert backs away, hiccups and blows a fireball of fire into Hagrid's beard. Hagrid: Ohh! Oooh, ooh, ooh, well...he'll have to be trained up a bit, of course. {Norbert hiccups. Hagrid sees someone looking in the window.} Who's that? {The person scampers away.}Harry: Malfoy.Hagrid: Oh, dear. Scene:The three are walking back through a corridor. An owl screeches. Harry: Hagrid always wanted a dragon. He told me so the first time I met him.Ron: It's crazy. And worse, Malfoy knows.Harry: I don't understand. Is that bad?Ron: It's bad. They stop as McGonagall, in her nightgown, appears. McGonagall: Good evening. Malfoy appears smugly beside her. Scene:McGonagall's classroom. The three accused are standing in front of McGonagall's desk, while Malfoy is feet away, smirking. McGonagall: Nothing, I repeat, nothing gives a student the right to walk about the school at night. Therefore, as punishment for your actions, 50 points will be taken.Harry: 50?!McGonagall: Each. And to ensure it doesn't happen again, all four of you will receive detention. Malfoy nods, then his smile vanishes. Draco: Excuse me, Professor. Perhaps I heard you wrong. I thought you said..."the four of us." McGonagall: No, you heard me correctly, Mr. Malfoy. You see, as honorable as your intentions were, you too were out of bed after hours. You will serve detention with your classmates. Harry, Ron and Hermione grin, and Draco sags. Scene:Outside, at night, the four students are being led to Hagrid's hut by Mr. Filch. Filch: A pity they let the old punishments die. There was a time detention would find you hanging by your thumbs in the dungeons. God, I miss the screaming. {Draco gulps, and Hermione rushes by.} You'll be serving detention with Hagrid tonight. He's got a little job to do inside the dark forest. {Hagrid appears with a crossbow. He sniffles.} A sorry lot this, Hagrid. Oh, good God, man, you're not still on about that bloody dragon, are you? Hagrid: {sniffs and sighs} Norbert's gone. Dumbledore sent him off to Romania to live in a colony.Hermione: Well, that's good, isn't it? He'll be with his own kind.Hagrid: Yeah, but what if he don't like Romania? {Filch rolls eyes.} What if the other dragons are mean to him? He's only a baby, after all.Filch: Oh, for Gods sake, pull yourself together, man. You're going into the forest, after all. Got to have your wits about you.Draco: The forest? I thought that was a joke! We can't go in there. Students aren't allowed. And there are...{a howl sounds}...werewolves!Filch: There's more than werewolves in those trees, lad. You can be sure of that. {Draco looks frightened.} Nighty-night. {Exit.}Hagrid: Right. Let's go. Scene: In the forest. The group walks along a path to a tree. Hagrid stops, bends down and dips his fingers in a silver puddle. He pulls out his fingers and rubs them together. A silver trail smears with his fingers. Harry: Hagrid, what's that?Hagrid: What we're here for. See that? That's unicorn's blood, that is. I found one dead a few weeks ago. Now, this one's been injured bad by something. {Harry suddenly sees a large cloaked figure walking through the trees. He looks at Hagrid.} So, it's our job to find the poor beast. Ron, Hermione, you'll come with me.Ron: {weakly} Okay.Hagrid: And Harry, you'll go with Malfoy. {Draco grimaces, and Harry nods.}Draco: Okay. Then I get Fang!Hagrid: Fine. Just so you know, he's a bloody coward. {Fang whines.} Scene:Harry and Draco are walking through the forest, Fang leading. Draco has the lamp. Draco: You wait till my father hears about this. This is servant's stuff.Harry: If I didn't know better, Draco, I'd say you were scared.Draco: Scared, Potter?! {Scoffs} {howl} Did you hear that? Come on, Fang. Scared. Scene:The group approaches a flat ground with gnarled roots all over. Fang stops, then growls. Harry: What is it, Fang? Up ahead, a cloaked figure is crouched over a dead unicorn, drinking its blood. The figure raises its head, silver blood dripping from its mouth. Harry gasps and grabs his scar, which is hurting. Draco: {A look of pure fear} AHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHH! {runs away, with Fang} HELP!!!!! Harry is left by himself. The figure slides over the unicorn and rises erect. It advances towards Harry, who backs up, but trips. He crawls backwards. Suddenly, there is the sound of hoofbeats. A figure leaps over Harry and lands near the cloaked figure. It is a silver centaur, FIRENZE. It rears, and the cloaked figure retreats, flying away. Firenze: Harry Potter, you must leave. You are known to many creatures here. The forest is not safe at this time. Especially for you.Harry: {rises} But what was that thing you saved me from?Firenze: A monstrous creature. It is a terrible crime to slay a unicorn. Drinking the blood of a unicorn will keep you alive even if you are an inch from death. But at a terrible price. You have slain something so pure that the moment the blood touches your lips, you will have a half-life. A cursed life.Harry: But who would choose such a life?Firenze: Can you think of no one?Harry: Do you mean to say...that that thing that killed the unicorn...that was drinking its blood...that was Voldemort?Firenze: Do you know what is hidden in the school at this very moment?Harry: The Philosopher's Stone. Suddenly, a dog (Fang) barks. Harry looks up and sees Hagrid, Hermione, Ron and Draco appear. Hermione: Harry!Hagrid: Hello there, Firenze. I see you've met our young Mr. Potter. You all right there, Harry? {Harry nods}Firenze: Harry Potter, this is where I leave you. You're safe now. Good luck. {Close up on the dead unicorn.} Scene:Gryffindor common room. Right after 'attack.' The group is around the fire. Hermione and Ron are seated, but Harry stands. Hermione: You mean, You-Know-Who's out there, right now, in the forest?Harry: But he's weak. He's living off the unicorns. Don't you see? We had it wrong. Snape doesn't want the stone for himself, he wants the stone for Voldemort. With the Elixir of Life, Voldemort will be strong again. He'll He'll come back. {Sits down.}Ron: But if he comes back, you don't think he'll try to kill you, do you?Harry: I think if he'd had the chance, he might have tried to kill me tonight.Ron: {Gulp} And to think, I've been worrying about my Potions final!Hermione: Hang on a minute. We're forgetting one thing. Who's the one wizard Voldemort always feared?{The boys shrug.} Dumbledore! As long as Dumbledore's around, you're safe. As long as Dumbledore's around, you can't be touched. {Harry smiles slightly.} Scene:Some time later. In the outdoor courtyard. The three are walking. Hermione: I've always heard Hogwarts' end of the year exams were frightful, but I found that rather enjoyable.Ron: Speak for yourself. All right there, Harry?Harry: My scar. It keeps burning.Hermione: It's happened before.Harry: Not like this.Ron: Perhaps you should see the nurse.Harry: I think it's a warning. It means dangers coming. Uhh! {He rubs scar and then sees Hagrid across the field, at his hut.} Oh. Of course! {runs for hut.}Hermione: What is it?Harry: Don't you think it's a bit odd that what Hagrid wants more than anything is a dragon, and a stranger shows up and just happens to have one? {They approach Hagrid, who is playing the Harry Potter theme on his flute.} I mean, how many people wander around with dragon eggs in their pockets? Why didn't I see it before? Hagrid, who gave you the dragon egg? {Hagrid stops playing.} What did he look like?Hagrid: I don't know. I never saw his face. He kept his hood up.Harry: The stranger, though, you and he must have talked.Hagrid: Well, he wanted to know what sort of creatures I looked after. I told him. I said, "After Fluffy, a dragon's gonna be no problem."Harry: And did he seem interested in Fluffy?Hagrid: Well, of course he was interested in Fluffy! How often do you come across a three headed dog, even if you're in the trade? But I told him. I said, "The trick with any beast is to know how to calm him. Take Fluffy, for example, just play him a bit of music and he falls straight to sleep." The three gape. Hagrid: I shouldn't have told you that. {The three take off.} Where you going?! Wait! Scene:McGonagall's classroom. The three come tearing in and run up the aisles between desks. They pass a ghost and stop at the desk. Harry: We have to see Professor Dumbledore, immediately!McGonagall: I'm afraid Professor Dumbledore is not here. He received an urgent owl from the Ministry of Magic and left immediately for London.Harry: He's gone?! Now? But this is important! It's about...the Philosopher's Stone.McGonagall: {shocked} How do you knowHarry: Someone's going to try and steal it.McGonagall: I don't know how you three found out about the stone, but I can assure you it is perfectly well-protected. Now would you go back to your dormitories? Quietly. {They leave.} Scene:After exiting McGonagall's class, they walk down the hallway. Harry: That was no stranger Hagrid met in the village. It was Snape, which means he knows how to get past Fluffy.Hermione: And with Dumbledore gone{Snape suddenly appears behind them}Snape: Good afternoon. Now, what would three young Gryffindors such as yourselves be doing inside on a day like this?Hermione: Uh...we were just...Snape: You want to be careful. People will think you're {Harry glares madly at Snape, who looks shocked} up to something. {Exit.}Hermione: Now what do we do?Harry: We go down the trapdoor. Tonight. Scene: Nighttime. In the Gryffindor Common Room. The three friends come down the stairs and begin to walk across the floor. They stop when they hear croaking. Harry: Trevor.Ron: Trevor shh! Go, you shouldn't be here!Neville: {appears behind a chair} Neither should you. You're sneaking out again, arent you?Harry: Now, Neville, listen. We wereNeville: No! I won't let you! {stands} You'll get Gryffindor in trouble again! I-I'll fight you. {holds out fists.}Hermione: Neville, I'm really, really sorry about this...{takes out wand} Petrificus Totalus. Neville is frozen and falls backwards onto the ground. Hermione puts her wand back. Ron: {Gulp} You're a little scary sometimes...you know that? Brilliant, but scary.Harry: Let's go. {Walks by Neville} Sorry.Hermione: Sorry.Ron: It's for your own good, you know. {Exit.} Scene: The three are under the Invisibility cloak, sneaking along the corridor. Hermione: Ow! You stood on my foot!Ron: Sorry. {A flame lights. Hermione draws out her wand and points it at the door.}Hermione: Alohomora. The door opens and they go in. Ron: Wait a minute...he's....{a blow of air, and the cape flutters off them.} Sleeping.Harry: Snape's already been here. He's put a spell on the harp. {They approach the sleeping dog.}Ron: Uh. It's got horrible breath!Harry: We have to move its paw.Ron: What?!Harry: Come on! {grabs paw, which is blocking the door.} Okay. Push! {They strain and move it. They open the door.} I'll go first. Don't follow until I give you a sign. {Fluffy's eyes open.} If something bad happens, get yourselves out...Does it seem a bit...quiet?Hermione: The harp. It stopped playing. Drool from one head comes down on Ron's shoulder. Ron: Ew! Yuck! Ugh. {All three kids look up and see Fluffy standing there. Fluffy barks and growls, thrashing. It breaks the harp and dives at the three.}Harry: Jump! Go! {They all jump through the trapdoor.}Ron: Ahh! {gasps as he lands on some mushy black ropelike vines.} Whoa. Lucky this plant-thing is here, really.Harry: Whoa! {The plant begins to move towards them.} Oh. Ahh! {The plant ties them up.}Hermione: Stop moving, both of you. This is Devil's Snare. You have to relax. If you don't, it will only kill you faster.Ron: Kill us faster?! Oh, now I can relax! Hermione manages a smile as she is sucked down below. Ron and Harry: Hermione!!Ron: Now what are we gonna do?!Hermione's voice: Just relax!Harry: Hermione! Where are you?!Hermione (from below): Do what I say. Trust me. Harry relaxes and is sucked through. Ron: Ahh! Harry! Harry falls through and lands on the hard ground. Hermione goes over to him and he stands up. Ron: Harry!Hermione: Are you okay?Harry: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.Ron: Help!Hermione: He's not relaxing, is he?Harry: Apparently not.Ron: Help! Help me!Hermione: We've got to do something!Harry: What?Hermione: Uh! I remember reading something in Herbology. {Ron: Help!} Um Devil's Snare, Devil's Scare, {The snare shuts Ron's mouth} it's deadly fun...but will sulk in the sun! That's it! Devil's Snare hates sunlight! {takes out wand and points upwards.} LumusSolem! {A beam of light shoots out. The Snare shrieks and recoils. Ron falls below.}Ron: Ahhh!Harry: Ron, are you okay?Ron: Yeah.Harry: Okay.Ron: {stands} Whew. Lucky we didn't panic!Harry: Lucky Hermione pays attention in Herbology. There is a sound. Hermione: What is that?Harry: I don't know. Sounds like wings. They enter into a room filled with golden "birds." Hermione: Curious. I've never seen birds like these.Harry: They're not birds, they're keys. And I'll bet one of them fits that door. {They come upon a broomstick, suspended in the air.}Hermione: What's this all about?Harry: I don't know. Strange.{Ron creeps over to the door and takes out his wand.}Ron: {rattles lock.} Alohomora! {Shrugs} Well, it was worth a try.Hermione: Ugh! What're we going to do? There must be 1000 keys up there!Ron: We're looking for a big old fashioned one. Probably rusty like the handle.Harry: There! I see it! {points} The one with the broken wing! {He looks at the broom.}Hermione: What's wrong, Harry?Harry: It's too simple.Ron: Oh, go on, Harry! If Snape can catch it on that old broomstick, you can! You're the youngest seeker in a century! Harry nods and grabs the broom. All the keys suddenly go one direction, right at Harry. He climbs on, swiping at them. Ron: This complicates things a bit! Harry pushes off into the air. He flies off, after the key. The others follow him. Harry grabs the key. Harry: Catch the key! He zooms by and throws the key to Hermione, who catches it and heads for the lock while Harry distracts the other keys. Hermione puts it in the lock. Ron: Hurry up! The door opens, and Hermione and Ron rush through, followed by Harry. They shut the door just as the keys slam up against it. Scene:They enter a dark room, with broken pieces all around it. Hermione: I don't like this. I don't like this at all.Harry: Where are we? A graveyard.Ron: This is no graveyard. {sighs} It's a chessboard. {Walks out onto the marble board and flames light, illuminating the board and GIANT players. Harry and Hermione come up with him.}Harry: There's the door. They walk across the board, towards the door. Suddenly, as they reach a line of pawns, the pawns bring up their swords. The three jump and back up. Hermione: Now what do we do?Ron: It's obvious, isn't it? We've got to play our way across the room. All right. Harry, you take the Bishop's square. Hermione, you'll be the Queen's side castle. As for me, I'll be a knight. {They all take their places.}Hermione: What happens now?Ron: {aboard a horse.} Well, white moves first, and then...we play. {A pawn on the other side moves forward. Ron studies the game.}Hermione: Ron, you don't suppose this is going to be like...real wizard's chess, do you?Ron: You there! D-5! {A black pawn moves forward, diagonal to the white pawn. The white pawn raises its swords and smashes the black one. The three jump.} Yes, Hermione, I think this is going to be exactly like wizard's chess! The game continues. Pieces smash each other, boom! Boom!Ron: Castle to E-4! Smash! Ron: Pawn to C-3! Smash! Boom! The Queen turns, and smashes a piece! Harry, Ron and Hermione wince. The Queen turns again. Both Ron and Harry study the game. Harry: Wait a minute.Ron: You understand right, Harry. Once I make my move, the Queen will take me...then you'll be free to check the King.Harry: No, Ron! No!Hermione: What is it?Harry: He's going to sacrifice himself!Hermione: No, Ron, you can't! {Ron closes his eyes.} There must be another way!Ron: {turns to face Hermione.} Do you want to stop Snape or not? Harry, it's you that has to go on. I know it. Not me, not Hermione, you. {Harry nods.} Knight...to H-3. Ron's horse moves forward, slides and stops. Ron: Check. The Queen turns and advances. Ron breathes faster, clutching the steel reins. The Queen stops. SMASH! Ron goes flying off the horse and lands on the floor, unconscious. Ron: Ahhhh!Harry: RON! {Hermione starts walking to him.} NO! Don't move! Dont forget, we're still playing. {Hermione moves back. Harry walks the diagonal in front of the King.} Checkmate. {The Kings sword falls onto the ground victory. Harry breathes out and then the two run to Ron. They bend beside him.} Take care of Ron. Then, go to the owlery. Send a message to Dumbledore. Ron's right...I have to go on.Hermione: You'll be okay, Harry. You're a great wizard, you really are.Harry: Not as good as you.Hermione: {smile} Me? Books and cleverness? There are more important things. Friendship, and bravery. And Harry, just be careful. Harry nods and stands, walking away. Scene:Harry walks down a long staircase to an empty room with pillars around it. The Mirror of Erised is in the middle of the room, and a man is standing before it. It is Quirrell. Harry yelps and grabs his scar. Harry: You? {Quirrell turns around.} No. It can't be...Snape. He was the oneQuirrell: Yes. He does seem the type, doesn't he? Next to me, who would suspect, "p-p-poor s-stuttering Professor Quirrell?"Harry: B-but, that day, during the Quidditch Match, Snape tried to kill me.Quirrell: No, dear boy. I tried to kill you! And trust me, if Snape's cloak hadn't caught fire and broken my eye contact, I would have succeeded. Even with Snape muttering his little counter-curse.Harry: Snape was trying to...save me?Quirrell: I knew you were a danger right from the off. Especially after Halloween.Harry: Th-then you let the troll in.Quirrell: Very good Potter, yes. Snape, unfortunately, wasn't fooled. While everyone else was running to the dungeon, he went to the 3rdfloor to head me off. He, of course, never trusted me again. He rarely left me alone. {Quirrell turns back to the mirror and Harry's scar hurts.} But he doesn't understand. I'm never alone. Never. Now...what does this mirror do? I see what I desire. I see myself holding the stone. But how do I get it?{A raspy voice, VOLDEMORT, calls.}: Use the boy.Quirrell: Come here, Potter, now! Harry walks forward shakily. Quirrell: Tell me. What do you see? Harry looks in the mirror. He sees himself. His mirror self brings his hand into his pocket and takes out a red stone! The mirror self winks and puts the stone back. Very subtly, Harry reaches to his pocket. There is a lump. He gasps. Quirrell: What is it?! What do you see?!Harry: I-I'm shaking hands with Dumbledore. I've won the house cup.Voldemort's voice: He lies.Quirrell: Tell the truth! What do you see?!Voldemort's voice: Let me speak to him.Quirrell: Master, you are not strong enough.Voldemort's voice: I have strength enough for this. {Quirrell unwraps his turban and on the side opposite his face, another face is planted. It is Voldemort who appears kind of like a snake. He stretches out and faces Harry via the mirror.} Harry Potter. We meet again.Harry: Voldemort.Voldemort: Yes. You see what I have become? See what I must do to survive? Live off another. A mere parasite. Unicorn blood can sustain me, but it cannot give me a body of my own. But there is something that can. Something, that conveniently enough, lies in your pocket! Harry turns and runs. Voldemort: Stop him! {Quirrell snaps his fingers and fire erupts all around the room. Harry is stuck.} Don't be a fool! Why suffer a horrific death when you can join me and live?!Harry: {shakes his head} Never!Voldemort: Haha. Bravery. Your parents had it too. Tell me, Harry, would you like to see your mother and father again? Together, we can bring them back. {In the mirror, Harrys parents faces appear.} All I ask for is something in return. {Harry takes the stone from his pocket.} That's it, Harry. There is no good and evil. There is only power, and those too weak to seek it. Together, we'll do extraordinary things. Just give me the stone! {Mother and father vanish.}Harry: You liar!Voldemort: Kill him! Quirrell soars into the air and smashes into Harry, one hand on Harrys throat. They fall to the steps. The stone falls out of Harry's reach as Quirrell chokes him. Harry strains and squeaks. Suddenly, Harry puts his hand on Quirrell's, trying to get him off. Smoke furls from under his hand. Quirrell: Ahh! Ahh! {backs up. His hand is crumbling into a mountain of black ash.} What is this magic? {hand dissipates.}Voldemort: Fool! Get the stone!Quirrell: {Walks forward, but Harry puts both hands on his face.} Ahhhhhhhhhh! Quirrell backs up, then his face, which is horrendously burned, crumbles as he walks forward. His whole body is ash. He falls to the floor. Harry gasps. He looks at his own hands and hurries over to the stone. He picks it up and sighs, when he hears something. Turning, Harry sees a dust clouds with Voldemort's face. The cloud rushes forward, right through Harry! Voldemort: Arrrhhhhhh!Harry: Ahhhhhhhhh! {Voldemort flies away. Harry falls to the ground, unconscious. He holds the stone in an outstretched hand.} Scene:The hospital wing. Harry is bandaged, lying in bed. He awakens, puts on his glasses, and sits up. There are cards and candy all over. Dumbledore approaches him. Dumbledore: Good afternoon, Harry. Ah. Tokens from your admirers?Harry: Admirers?Dumbledore: What happened down in the dungeons between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so, naturally, the whole school knows. {Both smile.} Ah, I see your friend Ronald has saved you the trouble of opening your Chocolate Frogs.Harry: Ron was here? Is he all right? What about Hermione?
Dumbledore: Fine. They're both just fine.Harry: But, what happened to the Stone?Dumbledore: Relax, dear boy. The stone has been destroyed. My friend Nicholas and I had a little chat and agreed it was best all around.Harry: But Flamel, he'll die, won't he?Dumbledore: {sits on the bed.} He has enough Elixir to set his affairs in order. But yes, he will die.Harry: How is it I got the Stone, sir? One minute I was staring in the mirror, and the next...Dumbledore: Ah. You see, only a person who wanted to find the Stone, find it, but not use it, would be able to get it. That is one of my more brilliant ideas. And between you and me thats saying something. {Smile both.}Harry: Does that mean, with the Stone gone, I mean, that Voldemort can never come back?Dumbledore: Ah, I'm afraid there are ways in which he can return. Harry, do you know why Professor Quirrell couldn't bear to have you touch him? {Harry shakes his head.} It was because of your mother. She sacrificed herself for you, and that kind of act leaves a mark. {Harry touches his scar.} No, no, this kind of mark cannot be seen. It lives in your very skin.Harry: What is it?Dumbledore: Love, Harry, love. {Pats Harry's head and stands up.} Ah. Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans. I was most unfortunate in my youth to come across a vomit flavoured one, and since then I have lost my liking for them. But I think I could be safe with a nice toffee...{takes brown bean and eats it.} Mm. Alas. Earwax. Scene:Harry approaches a room where up on a stairwell balcony Hermione and Ron are talking. They stop when they see Harry and lean over the railing. Harry: All right there, Ron?Ron: All right? You?Harry: {shrug} All right. Hermione?Hermione: {smile} Never better. Scene:In the great hall. All students are seated, and green banners with snakes on them are around the ceiling.Dumbledore, at the head table, nods to McGonagall.She dings her glass and the chatter stops. Dumbledore rises. Dumbledore: Another year gone. And now, as I understand it, the house cup needs awarding, and the points stand thus. In fourth place, Gryffindor with 312 points. {Clapping. Harry and Hermione hide their heads.} Third place, Hufflepuff, with 352 points. {Clapping.} In second place, Ravenclaw, with 426 points. {Clapping.} And in first place, with 472 points, Slytherin House. There is immense cheering. Students: Whoo! Yeah!Draco: Nice one, Mate! {sees Ron looking at him and sneers.}Dumbledore: Yes, yes, well done Slytherin, well done Slytherin. However, recent events must be taken into account. And I have a few last minute points to award. {The Gryffindor students look up.} To Miss Hermione Granger, for the use of cool intellect when others were in great peril, 50 points. {Applause.}Harry: {Pats} Good job.Dumbledore: Second, to Mr. Ronald Weasley, for the best played game of chess {Ron looks at Harry and mouths, 'Me?' Harry nods, and mouths, 'You!'} that Hogwarts has seen these many years...50 points. {Applause} And third, to Mr. Harry Potter, for pure nerve and outstanding courage, I award Gryffindor house 60 points. {Immense cheering.}Hermione: We're tied with Slytherin!Dumbledore: And finally, it takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends. I award 10 points to Neville Longbottom. Immense cheering erupts. Neville is unbelieving, and sits there while cheering gets louder. Draco is downfallen. Dumbledore: Assuming that my calculations are correct, I believe that a change of direction is in order. {Claps. The green banners change to Gryffindor red and yellow.} Gryffindor wins the House Cup! Cheering. Hagrid: Yes! {grins} All students stand and throw their hats into the air, except Draco, who smashes his down onto the table. Seamus: Neville! {Shakes his hand.} All rub each other's hair and jump around, cheering and laughing. Lee: Yeah! We won!! {Jumps with Harry, who looks back and grins very widely.} Scene:The outdoor train station. Students are walking around, getting in the train. Hagrid: Come on now, hurry up. You'll be late. Train's leaving. Go on. Go on. Come on. Hurry up. Harry hands Hedwig to a train man, and walks to an open door of the train with Hermione. Hermione waves to Hagrid, who waves back. Hermione gets in the train. Hermione: Come on, Harry.Harry: One minute. {He walks over to Hagrid.}Hagrid: Thought you were leaving without saying good-bye, didja? {Hagrid takes a red album out of his coat pocket and hands it to Harry.} This is for you. Harry opens the album and sees a picture, moving, of him as a baby with his parents. They are all smiling and waving. Harry smiles. Harry: Thanks, Hagrid. {Shakes Hagrid's hand, then hugs him tightly.}Hagrid: Oh. Go on...on with you. {Harry lets go.} Oh, listen, Harry, if that dolt of a cousin of yours, Dudley, gives you any grief, you could always, um, threaten him with a nice pair of ears to go with that tail of his.Harry: But Hagrid, we're not allowed to do magic away from Hogwarts. You know that.Hagrid: I do. But your cousin don't, do he? Eh? {chuckle} Off you go. Harry walks away, back to the train door where Hermione and Ron are waiting. Hermione: Feels strange to be going home, doesn't it?Harry: I'm not going home. Not really. The train whistles and they climb aboard. As the train starts to leave and the camera pans up over the whole scene, Harry waves out the window to Hagrid, who waves back and then waves more to other students as the camera pans far back, then the credits begin.

Beverly Hills Chihuahua

2017-01-13 17:30:41 UTC

[dog barks]

  
[ Gwen Stefani featuring Eve:
Rich Girl]

  
She's on her way.

  
[woman] Good morning, Viv.

  
Hello, Willow. Lovely to see you.

  
- [woman] Here she comes!
- [man] Is that the new Louis Vuitton?

  
[man 2] I might've known
she'd be the first.

  
[woman 2] Fabulous bag. She's so chic.

  
Sorry I'm late.
We had to do a little shopping.

  
Now that's the way to travel.
I'm so jealous.

  
Faboo!

  
Louis Vuitton never looked so good.

  
Mmm. Tell me the stones
in that collar are not real.

  
Aren't they gorgeous?
Viv said I had to have it.

  
[dogs barking]

  
- Sorry keep you waiting.
- Armand, it's fine.

  
A brush and a seaweed wrap,
but I need her by noon.

  
- We're having lunch with my niece.
- She'll be ready.

  
I know, sweetheart. I'm going to miss
you, too. You take good care of her.

  
- No waxing, OK?
- OK, no waxing for her.

  
I hope she gives me a red bow.
I want to look my best today.

  
- Bimini has a date with Scooter.
- Nice pedigree.

  
Please! The dog chases parked cars.

  
- He's crazier than a Labradoodle.
- I give it a week, tops.

  
- Hey! Talk to the paw.
- [Chloe] Good for you, Bimini.

  
It's not easy to find a mate with
papers. Let alone one you could love.

  
Me, I'd be happy with
one who's not... fixed.

  
[chuckles]

  
- [whistles]
- [Chloe laughs]

  
Down, boy.

  
[ Kylie Minogue:
Wow]

  
[woman] All right, what's next?

  
- What do you think?
- Please. She wears Harry Winston.

  
Viv?

  
Fabulous. I'll take two.
You should see Chloe.

  
I'll need at least two days at corporate
in New York to meet with buyers.

  
- You have a little beret?
- Perfection.

  
[speaks Italian]

  
Who needs sleep? It's Italy.

  
Preppy little beauty.

  
- This just came in.
- She's allergic to wool. No.

  
- Love that.
- [Viv] Oh! Fabulous!

  
- Viv.
- I love it. And do you love it?

  
You may have it.
I'll get you anything you want.

  
Yes, I will. No, not you, Patrick.

  
Hello, Jackie O.

  
- Love the smell of dirt in the morning.
- Sam, the garden looks gorgeous.

  
And I love the new designs
for the waterfall that you did.

  
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

  
For everything. For giving me
a chance to prove myself.

  
Oh, good job, Papi. Very symmetrical.

  
[Sam speaks Spanish]

  
Ciao. Ciao, Papi.

  
Yes, yes. We did it, Papi.
Yes. Yes!

  
Go on, take a break, Papi.
You're doing great, buddy.

  
Hello, beautiful.

  
You're blocking my sun.

  
 Mi corazón, you shine
much brighter than the sun

  
 Why won't you be my one 

  
- What's that smell?
- Which one?

  
The sweat of my labor
or the mint patch I rolled in for you?

  
- Neither.
- Then it must be the fertilizer.

  
Gross! You're covered in it.

  
Of course. I am a landscaper.

  
Grasshopper, mi corazón?

  
I caught it myself. Very tasty.

  
Papi, that's so... disgusting.

  
I see you're tempted. I'll leave it here
in case you change your mind.

  
- [doorbell rings]
- Excuse me. We have guests.

  
Guests? You got guests... OK.

  
You want to go have a drink later?
There's a great puddle by the garage.

  
OK, never mind.

  
Aunt Viv! I'm here!

  
[Chloe] An hour late, as usual.

  
- Aunt Viv, hello!
- [barking]

  
How do you keep a job?
Oh, that's right, you don't.

  
Where's Aunt Viv?
Where's Aunt Viv? Chloe, go find her.

  
- Go on. Go find her.
- Who am I, Lassie?

  
You're so completely useless.

  
Of course I understand.

  
[Viv] It's just that I'm headed to
Europe to promote my new cosmetic line.

  
No, this is wonderful news.
It's the best news.

  
Yes, yes. OK. Wonderful. Bye.

  
- Is everything OK, Aunt Viv?
- I don't know what I'm going to do.

  
I am getting on a plane at 4:00,
and I gave the staff the week off...

  
and Chloe's dog nanny just
had her baby three weeks early.

  
- You're not taking Chloe with you?
- No, no.

  
Obviously if it was a vacation,
of course, but this is a business trip.

  
Four cities in ten days.

  
She's much too delicate for that kind
of travel. Plus she hates Berlin.

  
- What about a kennel?
- [Chloe] Kennel?

  
No.

  
No, no. I could never leave her
in the hands of strangers.

  
Never in a million years.

  
But you're not a stranger.

  
- What?
- What?

  
Here is Chloe's schedule.
Try to stay to it as much as possible.

  
I could skip the dog park on Wednesday

  
because Chloe's friend, Stella,
came down with fleas.

  
I'm about to entrust you with
my greatest treasure.

  
Take good care.

  
I love you, sweetheart.

  
I love you so much.
Mommy loves you so much.

  
Bye-bye! Have fun, you two!

  
- OK. Bye!
- [doorbell rings]

  
Playdate?

  
[ Right Said Fred:
I'm Too Sexy]

  
Here you go. Good luck.

  
[ball squeaking]

  
[dogs barking]

  
Don't worry, Chloe.
Viv will be back before you know it.

  
Rachel doesn't look so bad.

  
You don't know the half of it.

  
[girl] They all look so cute
in their little outfits.

  
You didn't have to dress her.
She's so picky.

  
- You're talking about a Chihuahua.
- She's not any Chihuahua, Angela.

  
She's a bossy, arrogant, manipulative,
Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

  
She has no direction. She can't keep
a job. She's never on time.

  
I'm going to be late to my appointments.

  
Don't get me started on her schedule.

  
Shiatsu massages, doggy birthday
parties, couture fittings.

  
I have to change
her outfit four times a day.

  
I mean, look at her.

  
[both] She's so...

  
...irresponsible.
...spoiled.

  
- Woof.
- [sighs]

  
- I need to cool off.
- Dive in, girl.

  
Whoa!

  
Hi, mami.

  
Oh!

  
Who is that hunk
of Chihuahua over there?

  
- [Bimini] Nice.
- Mi corazón!

  
The gardener.

  
You are more lovely...

  
- than the dawn.
- Wow.

  
Mi corazón!

  
You are more lovely...
than the dawn!

  
So embarrassing. Maybe he'll go away.

  
[speaks Spanish]

  
I only...

  
Excuse me while I bravely defend
your garden against that dangerous bird.

  
Hey, bird!

  
That is one hot dog.

  
Excuse me.
Coming through. Nice legs.

  
Mud all over me.

  
Hey, hey! Excuse me!

  
Excuse me! Excuse me, señor?
Gardener guy?

  
Your dog is muy bad.
Muy, muy, muy bad. Mucho naughty.

  
[speaks Spanish]

  
Can you get... your...

  
...doggie-o out of here?

  
Perdóname, por favor,
but my heart must speak.

  
I only wish to say...

  
that if you ever need someone
to lick inside your ears...

  
or chew the hard to reach places...

  
or share your slumber in the sun...

  
I would be most honored
to be that special someone.

  
- Woof.
- Put your tongue back in your mouth.

  
Oh. I don't think so, Papi.

  
You mean, not now.

  
I mean... not ever.

  
I see. Of course. Well...

  
This thing.

  
[speaks Spanish]

  
Papi! [whistles]

  
Duty calls! Please have
a most wonderful day.

  
Cool. Thanks a lot.

  
[speaks Spanish]

  
[barking]

  
Rachel, wake up.
I've got a mani-pedi at 11:00,

  
and you have to make my waffles.

  
- Get up!
- [phone ringing]

  
[crashing]

  
[barking]

  
Aunt Viv's.

  
- Hi, Angela.
- [dog toy squeaks]

  
What?

  
You're a genius.

  
Yes, I can be ready
in 30 minutes. OK, bye!

  
Pack your swimsuit, Chloe.
We're going on a trip.

  
A trip? Ooh, where are we going?

  
[girls] Mexico! Yeah!

  
[ Buster Poindexter:
Hot Hot Hot]

  
I love this town!

  
- Let's check it out.
- Surfer boys, hi!

  
Hi.

  
I love this town!

  
I could totally live here.
Isn't this great?

  
I'm starting to get the feeling
there's no Four Seasons here.

  
Whoo!

  
- Third floor, baby.
- Woo!

  
Hello? Somebody forget something?

  
- I'm walking by myself.
- [Rachel] Chloe!

  
I'm starving.
What's taking them so long?

  
Wait. What time are
we supposed to meet the guys?

  
Right now, at that club.

  
Wait a minute. I forgot
the name of the club.

  
- Cayuca Club!
- Right. Cayuca!

  
Be right back.

  
- Dinner time!
- Finally.

  
You should dance with Bryan, Rache.

  
- I'm gonna dance with him.
- He's cute!

  
You'd better be making me
either prime rib or reservations.

  
There you go.

  
You're joking, right?

  
I am ready to dance all night!

  
There's only one thing this is good for.

  
- Try this on for size.
- Come on, let's go!

  
Chloe!

  
That's a bad dog!
That's a very bad dog!

  
[Chloe whining]

  
Rachel. What did you do to her?

  
Nothing! She's faking! Let's go.

  
- You silly girl.
- She's so cute.

  
- We should take her with us.
- Yes! Take me out for food.

  
- I'm not taking the dog dancing.
- Cayuca!

  
Hey! Wait!

  
Come back here! Oops.

  
Just add that to the bill.

  
[both speak Spanish]

  
Hello?

  
Hola and adiós.

  
You want to dance, Rachel? Let's dance.

  
OK. Guy with a giant knife. Moving on.

  
[people banging drums, playing music]

  
If I wasn't starving,
this might actually be fun.

  
Oh! There you are.

  
You are in so much troub...

  
Put me down! Who are you?

  
Rachel, help me! Somebody, please.
I'm being dognapped!

  
[indistinct Spanish]

  
Rachel!

  
- So... good night.
- Seriously?

  
No kiss?

  
Chloe!

  
Chloe, come out.

  
I'm not kidding. I mean it. Stop hiding.

  
Chloe?
I'm sorry I gave you dog food.

  
Chloe?

  
I'll order you room service
for breakfast in the morning!

  
- Chloe?
- What's up, love bug?

  
Chloe's missing.

  
I don't know where she would go.
She doesn't like to walk anywhere,

  
- let alone run.
- Well...

  
- What?
- Las peleas de perros were in town.

  
Dogfights. They're criminals.
Always on the move.

  
How do I find them?

  
I have heard rumors.

  
Mexico City?

  
Then there's nothing more you can do.

  
You've done everything you can.

  
Why don't you go
put your suit on and join us?

  
I'm going to keep looking for Chloe.

  
And if I can't find her,
I'm going to Mexico City.

  
Rache...

  
[Rachel] Chloe!

  
[dogs barking]

  
Where am I?

  
You're in the dogfights.

  
Dogfights? What?

  
This is outrageous.

  
I was born to shop, not fight.
Unless it's at a sales rack.

  
- Quit whining, princesa.
- Chloe Winthrop Ashe does not whine.

  
[Speaks Spanish]
A delusional Chihuahua.

  
You won't get any sympathy from Delgado,
señorita. He's a gladiator.

  
A gladiator?

  
You know. A fighter.
Delgado is the best of the best.

  
Don't listen to Rafa, chica.
El Diablo's the meanest dog in the fights.

  
Word is they fought once before,
and Delgado did not come out on top.

  
[praying in Spanish]

  
What's he saying?

  
Ay, bendito, he always
prays before a fight.

  
Don't you speak any Spanish,
chica?

  
The name's Chloe, not chica.
And why would I speak Spanish?

  
- Hello! You're a Chihuahua, mi hija!
- So?

  
I'm from Beverly Hills. You know, 90210,
the shopping capital of the world?

  
She's a gringa from California.

  
That's right. The only reason
I'm here is because I was stolen.

  
- You think I volunteered for this?
- [Chloe] But I'm an heiress.

  
- A hairless?
- No, an heiress.

  
- I have a trust fund.
- Look.

  
If you're worth something,
they'll ransom you.

  
And if they ransom you,
they won't fight you.

  
- Guess you have nothing to worry about.
- Well, that's a relief.

  
I am so glad you feel better.
Now can we get a little quiet?

  
I can't wait until Viv finds out
what Rachel's done.

  
 Mi corazón,
I think of you day and night 

  
[sniffing] Hold your tacos.

  
These scents are old.

  
[Sam] Papi? Time to go home!

  
Where is she? Where is my Chloe?

  
Whoa!

  
What's going on?
[barks]

  
Hey, Papi, come on. Let's go.

  
- Hi. Hola.
- Hi.

  
I'm Rachel's friend, and...
you're the gardener, right?

  
- I'm Sam.
- Your garden is muy bonita.

  
And when I get a casa,
I'm so calling you to be my gardener...

  
- because it's...
- Thank you very much.

  
- Where's Rachel?
- Forget her, dude. Where's Chloe?

  
And what are you hiding there?

  
Chloe's lost in Mexico.
Rachel stayed to find her.

  
The love of my life
is out there in trouble?

  
She wants me to e-mail
this to her in Mexico City.

  
So...

  
[speaks Spanish]

  
[ George Thorogood and The Destroyers:
Bad To The Bone]

  
Señoras y señores!

  
You know him, you love him.

  
El campeón, El Diablo!

  
Oh. It's about time someone's
upgrading my accommodations.

  
And now, the challenger.

  
Weighing in at a whopping six pounds.

  
I give you Chi-Chihuahua!

  
Hey!

  
[laughter]

  
Thank you.

  
Thank you. You're too kind, really.

  
This is so much nicer
than that stinky corral.

  
Oh! I'm sorry.
I thought I was alone.

  
- Mister...
- They call me El Diablo.

  
It's certainly nice to meet you.
Clearly I'm in the wrong place.

  
So perhaps we could
speak to the concierge or someone.

  
Stop talking!

  
You know, I've got a dentist who could
do something about that yellowing.

  
- What?
- I get the idea that teeth...

  
- are important in your line of work.
- You don't like my smile?

  
- [barking]
- Watch it! Say it, don't spray it!

  
- [mumbling] What am I going to do?
- Sounds like he's closing in.

  
Dog that size?
Won't be much left of her.

  
[mumbling] Gringa, gringa.

  
She's adiós. She's bye-bye.

  
Poor little hairless.

  
[praying in Spanish]

  
OK, that's it.

  
Delgado? What are you doing?

  
Huh?

  
- What's going on?
- Where are you going?

  
- How do you do that?
- Bro, give me the combination!

  
- Yeah, save us!
- Save us, Delgado!

  
- Don't leave us!
- Come back!

  
This is highly inappropriate.
Hey, hey, hey! That's cashmere!

  
Ow!

  
- Vámonos!
- Hasta la bye-bye!

  
Let go before it... rips.

  
I know it's rude to leave early,
but I really must be going now.

  
The show's over for you, chica.

  
You know, "dog eat dog" is
just an expression!

  
- Not this time, Diablo!
- Delgado!

  
- Move it!
- OK.

  
You'll pay for this, Delgado!
I'll find you!

  
[indistinct chattering]

  
Wait, wait!
Slow down, you guys! Slow down!

  
- What's wrong?
- I told you, it wasn't my fault!

  
Where'd the dogs go? Go, go!

  
[Vasquez] I want that Chihuahua!

  
[barking]

  
[indistinct Spanish]

  
- [Chloe] English, please!
- [Delgado] Move it! Let's go!

  
- This way! This way!
- OK.

  
[speaks Spanish]

  
[panting]

  
- My bootie!
- Your what?

  
- My bootie!
- Forget it!

  
- Forget it?
- Forget it!

  
- The Chihuahua!
- That's Italian leather, mister!

  
[Chloe] Look out!

  
Go! Go!

  
One at a time!

  
[Chloe] Hey! Wait a minute!
You won't fit!

  
I got it!

  
Oh, no. I lost another bootie.

  
I am sure I locked those cages, sir.

  
I want that Chihuahua!

  
Why?

  
She's worth something.

  
[Vasquez] Judging by the diamonds
around her neck, it's a lot.

  
Look out.

  
- [upbeat mariachi music]
- [cheering]

  
What is all of this?

  
[Spanish]

  
The Day of the Dead.

  
This is so beautiful.

  
It's what humans do
to honor their ancestors.

  
It keeps them... alive in their hearts.

  
Helps them remember who they are,
where they came from.

  
Wow!

  
- You're my dog!
- Delgado, gracias, bro.

  
- I'm out of here!
- I'll see ya, kid.

  
Wait! Wait... Delgado!

  
[Chloe] "See ya?" That's it?

  
Number one rule of the streets,
princesa. Every dog for himself.

  
Now, get lost.

  
My name is not "Princesa." It's Chloe.

  
And I am lost. And I want to be found.

  
[Spanish]

  
Look, princesa...
I mean... look, kid.

  
I got my own problems.

  
I can't go back to the fights.
I got to get out of town.

  
- How does Beverly Hills sound?
- Too far.

  
Come on! If you could
figure out a way back,

  
you could live with us on our estate.

  
If you haven't noticed,
I'm a little large for a lapdog.

  
But you're the perfect size
for a guard dog.

  
Our old one... Papi, he... ran off.

  
You had a guard dog named Papi?

  
[mumbles in Spanish]

  
- What hotel you staying in?
- You'll do it?

  
Answer the question
before I change my mind!

  
I don't know the name, but believe me,
it was no Carthay Hotel.

  
The Carthay? There's one here.
Would they know you?

  
They should. We're preferred guests.
We have a gold card.

  
Why me? Of all the dogs in Mexico.

  
Why me? All I need,
Chihuahua with booties.

  
This'll be fun! You'll see.

  
Here's the GPS.

  
We're hot.

  
Diablo, you go get me that Chihuahua.

  
Go! Go!

  
[dog howling]

  
- Hold up a second.
- Uh...

  
What's that sound?

  
- Hmm. Hold your breath.
- [Chloe shrieks]

  
- What did you do that for?
- El Diablo's got your scent.

  
Of course he does. It's Chanel No. 5.

  
- Congratulations.
- Now I've lost another bootie...

  
- and I stink.
- I don't smell anything.

  
Are you kidding? I smell like a wet dog.

  
You are a wet dog.

  
[police siren]

  
- Look... señorita...
- Ashe.

  
Ashe. I'm sorry.

  
We're already trying to stop the fights.

  
And we don't have time to look
for every lost dog in Mexico.

  
This is not just any dog.

  
This is my Aunt Viv's dog.
Chloe means everything to her.

  
I'll tell you what.

  
Go back to your hotel, download
that photo you were telling me about

  
and I will see what I can do.

  
- Gracias.
- You're welcome!

  
[Mexican Hat Dance ringtone]

  
- Hi, Aunt Viv.
- Ciao, Rachel.

  
Yes, Capri's fantastic.

  
I was trying the house earlier.
I was worried because nobody was there.

  
Yeah, we went out for Mexican.

  
Could I talk to her just a second?

  
Um... I'll put her on.

  
[imitates barking]

  
Hi, baby! How's my little baby?

  
[continues barking]

  
I miss you, too! I miss you, too!

  
[more barking]

  
OK, here you are,
Your Highness. Carthay Hotel.

  
[sighs] I feel like I'm home already!

  
- Thank you, Delgado. Thank you!
- All in a day's work.

  
But... maybe you should wait out here.

  
- Yeah, whatever.
- I don't mean it like it sounds,

  
but they can be a little particular
about the dogs they let in.

  
Knock yourself out.

  
We'll be eating gourmet food in no time.

  
- Bienvenidos al Hotel Carthay.
- [Chloe] Thank you.

  
Excuse me. Would you be so kind
as to look at my collar?

  
You'll find my owner's
name and number.

  
[barking]

  
Tshh! Get out!

  
Hello! Ew!

  
It touched me!

  
Get this mutt out of here.

  
- Mutt? How dare you!
- [concierge] Edgar!

  
I've been a preferred customer
at this hotel for years!

  
Don't you dare!

  
- I'm sorry.
- You are making a big mistake. Huge.

  
Really! [shrieks]

  
Oh, no.

  
I'm...

  
I'm... hideous.

  
What's taking her so long?

  
Hmm. Figures.

  
What did I expect...
de una princesa?

  
Delgado, it was so humiliating.
You won't believe...

  
Delgado?

  
Delgado.

  
[ Megan McCauley:
Porcelain Doll]

  
[bells jingling]

  
Excuse me. I'm here to see
Detective Ramirez.

  
Detective Ramirez is already with someone,
señorita. Five minutes, please.

  
[door buzzes]

  
Psst. Don't look now,
Hannah Montana, three o'clock.

  
What are you doing here?
I mean, qué are you doing here?

  
Isn't it obvious? To find Chloe.

  
Angela told me everything.

  
Why did you pretend
you couldn't speak English?

  
I didn't. You just assumed.

  
Thought you'd let me go along
and make a fool of myself?

  
Didn't need any help with that.

  
What makes you think
I need help from a gardener?

  
Oh, no, she didn't.

  
It's not that I have a
problem with that word, but,

  
actually, I am a landscaper.

  
And I'm not here for you.

  
I'm here for Vivian,
because she's like family to me.

  
[clears throat]

  
I e-mailed a description
of the dog's collar to all our stations.

  
Chloe's collar. It's worth a fortune.

  
You're welcome.

  
Maybe a picture of the collar
might be even more helpful.

  
Yeah, a lot. Gracias.

  
So what should we do now?

  
We? Nothing.

  
You go back to
your hotel and wait. Please.

  
He's right. There's nothing you can do.

  
What? We're Mexi-can, not Mexi-can't!

  
I'm not going to stop looking.
He only cares about the collar.

  
I need the dog.

  
I'm with her, amigo.
My Chloe's in trouble.

  
Hey! Papi! Hey!

  
- Come on, fool. Let's go!
- Papi, where're you going?

  
[ Tag Team:
Whoomp (There It Is]

  
I cannot believe Chloe's missing this.

  
Sebastian! Thank you.

  
Going to be on the cover
of Purebred Monthly.

  
- Oh.
- Whoo hoo!

  
This party is off the leash!

  
Whoa! Party!

  
So Scooter.

  
- Come here, Birthday Dog.
- No, Whiskey.

  
No, that really isn't necessary.

  
OK. Thank you, thank you.

  
Ooh.

  
Hey, you guys don't think
Chloe's in trouble, do you?

  
Paa-lease. I bet Rachel whisked her
off to some faboo place.

  
If I know Chloe...

  
she's sitting under a palm tree
being waited on by some hunky husky.

  
Oh! Thank you!

  
[groans] I must be starving.

  
- Yeah. That's our churro.
- Sí, our churro.

  
Excuse me, but... I saw it first!

  
- Better back off, muchachos.
- [laughing]

  
Looks like we have
one of those Chihuahua warriors!

  
Now look, I've been dognapped,
lost my favorite cashmere sweater...

  
slept in a box and I'm starting another
in a series of bad hair days.

  
So don't... push me!

  
- Let's get out of here, man.
- Sorry... sorry.

  
That's what I thought. Ha!

  
It's time to pay the piper,
perra pequeña.

  
- Where were we?
- [Delgado] Hang on, kid!

  
[El Diablo] Still trying to be the hero!
I'll smell you out, Delgado.

  
[ Los Pericos:
Caliente]

  
The Aztec Empire's heart
was right here in Chapultepec Park.

  
Once used by the kings
as a royal retreat.

  
[crowd screams]

  
[barking]

  
- Move it! Hurry up!
- I am!

  
- Come on! Two at a time!
- I have four-inch legs.

  
Come on. This way.

  
Not this way.

  
- Where to now?
- Now we're trapped.

  
- Now what?
- I'm thinking, I'm thinking.

  
Why did you abandon me?

  
I've already been abandoned once.

  
You left me, I didn't leave you!

  
I saw you in there
getting pampered, and eating...

  
The closest I came to food
was a used churro.

  
[barking]

  
Come on, let's go.

  
- Where are we going?
- I'm taking you to Puerto Vallarta.

  
- Somebody there can help us.
- That on the way to Beverly Hills?

  
Over here. Jump in.

  
- Delgado?
- What?

  
Why is El Diablo after me?

  
Vasquez must have sent him.

  
Who's Vasquez?

  
He runs the dog fights and anything
else he can make a quick buck at.

  
The police have been after him
for years, but he's slippery.

  
How do you know all that?

  
Were you a criminal or something?

  
Or something. Get some sleep.

  
It's a long ride
and tomorrow's a big day.

  
What did El Diablo mean by,
"Still trying to be the hero?"

  
[sighs]

  
Never mind.

  
[truck engine starts]

  
[mariachi music playing]

  
[sniffing] What the...
What's this? That's Chloe's bootie!

  
Hey, lady!

  
What? What is it?
Chloe's bootie. Good job.

  
She is near. I can feel it.

  
Hey, wait for me!

  
[Spanish]

  
[Sam] He said...

  
he saw a white Chihuahua
with a bunch of dogs run through here.

  
She was being carried
by a German Shepherd...

  
- German Shepherd carried my Chloe?
- Let's go!

  
I'm going to kick some tail. Papi style!

  
- [phone ringing]
- Yes?

  
[Rafferty] Someone else
is looking for that dog.

  
There is a lot of money riding on
this Chihuahua, do you understand?

  
They cannot find her before we do.

  
- I'm on it.
- Good.

  
Come on, baby.

  
Come on, Diablo.

  
[ The Cat Empire:
Hello]

  
OK, this is us. We're here.
Shake your last bootie and let's go.

  
- [Chloe] What's your plan?
- [Delgado] OK, here's the deal.

  
Plant your paws here, keep your muzzle
shut, and wait for me to come back.

  
But... where are you going?
Delgado?

  
You're very withholding, you know that?

  
I guess this is my day at the spa.

  
Ahh.

  
Much better.

  
There she is.
Now, you remember the con, right?

  
I don't really have to eat you, do I?

  
Only swallow my legs.
OK, here we go. Easy on the teeth.

  
- Act scary.
- OK.

  
Help! Help, please help me!

  
- Help me, somebody! Help!
- You're choking me.

  
Keep your tongue to yourself.

  
Help me! Somebody, please!

  
This is just like Animal Planet.
What do I do?

  
Something! Anything! Help!

  
Shoo, lizard. Shoo, shoo.
Regurgitate that rat!

  
Ew.

  
Oh, my gosh. Are you all right? Hello?

  
Are you an angel? Am I dead?

  
No. And I'm not an angel.

  
And yet you're wearing a halo.

  
This? This is my collar
from Harry Winston.

  
- Is that in heaven?
- [Chloe] Well...

  
Sort of. Beverly Hills.

  
Ahh.

  
Beverly Hills.
You're a long way from home.

  
Perhaps I can be of assistance.
I am Manuel.

  
I work on a luxury cruise ship
as a porter...

  
tending to the discriminating needs
of refined, upscale dogs like yourself.

  
Really? Do you think you
could help me get home?

  
Well, you saved my life.
It's the very least I can do.

  
[chuckles]

  
[indistinct Spanish]
[barking]

  
Delgado?

  
Delgado?

  
- Hey, Tomas.
- It's really you, cuz?

  
What happened? Where you been?
Nobody's seen you since...

  
You know, a while.

  
Look... I'm doing this
little security gig.

  
I'm taking a rich Chihuahua
back to Beverly Hills.

  
She's got a tag
on her collar.

  
So take her to a rescue shelter.

  
- They'll read it and call the owner.
- Not that simple.

  
Vasquez is looking for her,
he's got informants everywhere.

  
He's even got El Diablo after her.

  
El Diablo. That's why you're doing it?

  
That delincuente is behind me.

  
It's just a job. Can you get
Officer Mendez to call her tag?

  
Yeah, OK. Bring it to me.

  
- I'll see what I can do.
- Gracias.

  
Come on, let's go.
I found someone to read your tag.

  
- Really? So did I.
- Where's your collar?

  
You're not the only one
who can get things done.

  
- What?
- I gave my collar to Manuel...

  
He is taking it to
the ship's captain to read.

  
Manuel? Who's Manuel?

  
The kindly pack rat
who's helping me out.

  
I saved him from
being eaten by an iguana.

  
An iguana? An iguana!

  
That is the oldest con in the book!
Iguanas are vegetarians!

  
I'm sorry. I don't meet
many iguanas on Rodeo Drive.

  
Without your ID tag...

  
there's nothing to separate you
from any collarless stray on the street!

  
But... Well...

  
Manuel promised me
he'd be right back from the ship.

  
What ship? That ship?

  
What happened to the
"don't talk to strangers"?

  
You said nothing about iguanas.

  
[Spanish]

  
[Manuel] then I said, "Are you an
angel?" American dogs are so gullible.

  
[laughs] Chico, who is the
greatest con man in Mexico?

  
You are. And now,
can we steal some lunch? I'm hungry.

  
- Where did you get that?
- Please don't eat me, man!

  
I got a wife and 300 kids to feed.

  
- Eat him first!
- Where is the Chihuahua?

  
Chihuahua? I don't know any Chihuahua.
I'm from the Yucatán.

  
Of course if you'd like to meet one,
I could arrange it for the right price.

  
You're about to be lunch.

  
That's the right price.
How'd you know?

  
Do something, Manuel.

  
You're trying my patience,
chaparrito.

  
Stop trying his patience.

  
- Where is she?
- By the fountain, near the docks.

  
I didn't know she was a friend of yours.
I was just borrowing it.

  
Please don't hurt me.

  
[short growl]

  
Hmm. Hmm.

  
[Manuel] Ha! That's dog's lucky
I didn't cha-cha on his chest.

  
You know, Manuel, I don't think
that dog was a friend of hers.

  
It's not our problem, Chico.

  
Come on, let's go raid a piñata.
I feel like feeding my sweet tooth.

  
Leave me out of this, Manuel.
Where there's a piñata, there's a stick.

  
- Uh, Delgado?
- Yeah?

  
What are we doing here?

  
- This is where we meet the coyote.
- A coyote?

  
A smuggler. They sneak collarless dogs
like us across the border.

  
You used to be a police dog, didn't you?

  
That's how you know Sergeant Tomas.
That's how you can do all those things.

  
- I don't want to talk about it.
- Did you quit? Did you get fired?

  
Did you do something wrong?

  
Yes, I did something wrong, OK?
You satisfied?

  
Now, just drop it.

  
OK. OK.

  
There he is. We're on. Follow me.

  
- And no more questions.
- OK. OK.

  
- But what was it? Was someone hurt?
- [Delgado] Drop it! Just drop it!

  
[speaks Spanish]

  
You're driving me crazy.

  
You're not exactly the most charming
traveling companion either.

  
- Good, because we're parting ways.
- What?

  
Wait, wait! What are you doing?

  
This train will take you to Tijuana.

  
- But...
- But nothing.

  
The coyote will take you
over the border.

  
- Buenos Días.
- Wha...

  
Make yourself at home. [laughs]

  
Best of luck.

  
But... you promised.

  
Delgado...

  
[sighs]

  
Don't turn around. Don't turn around.

  
Don't... What am I doing?

  
- Delgado!
- Chloe!

  
- Delgado!
- Chloe!

  
Come on. Jump!

  
It's a fast train!

  
You can do it! Jump!

  
That hurt.

  
OK, good.

  
- I could use a little help.
- I'll pull you up.

  
[Chloe shrieks]

  
- Don't help. Don't help.
- [shrieks]

  
[heavy breathing]

  
[sighs]

  
What can I say? A promise is a promise.

  
Sure thing, Delgado.

  
[Rachel] Sam! How do you say
"lost" in Spanish?

  
[speaks Spanish]

  
[sniffs]

  
Chloe.

  
Wait, he's got something.

  
Papi! Papi!

  
You! That scent.
Where did you get that scent?

  
Maybe you haven't noticed,

  
but I'm currently napping
in a sewage pipe.

  
You mean the moldy taco?

  
No, fool. The perfume. It's Chloe's.

  
She's an American Chihuahua.

  
Her ears are as pink as seashells...

  
and her nose is like a raspberry.

  
- You serious, bro?
- Eh? A berry?

  
[speaks Spanish]

  
Is she kind of uppity?
Wears matching clothes?

  
- You know her? Where is she?
- Last we saw her...

  
- she was with Delgado on the run.
- Yeah.

  
- Mm-hm.
- Delgado? Who is this Delgado?

  
I want to hear more. Come with me.

  
Looks like he found a couple of friends.

  
Just what we need, stray dogs.

  
Papi was a stray dog.
I saved him from the pound.

  
Hey, buddy.

  
He inspires me every day.
What inspires you, Rachel?

  
Get back to you on that.

  
- [whimpers]
- Hey.

  
Look at that. How you doing? Hello.

  
I guess he is kind of cute.
We could take them with us,

  
but you have to give them a bath,
they stink.

  
I can handle that.

  
- You stink! Oh!
- You just need a bath.

  
Oh, I love this!

  
I think I'm in love
with the gringa.

  
[ Los Lonely Boys:
Heaven]

  
- I think he likes it.
- I think he likes you.

  
Where you going? Wait for me!

  
- [splashing]
- [screaming]

  
Oh, yeah. Mira, I'm clean.
I'm clean. I never knew clean.

  
I know clean now.

  
I have never had
my teeth brushed before.

  
It's... minty.

  
[chuckles] It's weird.

  
Papi, this is great!

  
- We should call room service.
- Let's order a movie.

  
Have we found a home, Papi?

  
I don't know, but they'll make sure
you're safe.

  
Sam did it for me.

  
See you tomorrow.

  
- Come on.
- No, they can stay with me.

  
I take responsibility.

  
[Sam] Cool.

  
Papi, what do you see, compa?

  
It's a big place, my little friend.

  
I may be small, but I am fighting...

  
for something... bigger than all of it.

  
Mi Corazón.

  
[ Enrique Iglesias:
Hero]

  
Excuse me. Where are you from?

  
- I'm from Beverly Hills.
- [puppy] Where is that?

  
Well... it feels like
a long way from here.

  
Señorita, what is that?

  
It's a bootie. I lost the others.

  
All the dogs in Beverly Hills
wear them to protect their feet.

  
It must be very dirty there.

  
[chuckles] No. Actually, it's probably
the cleanest place I know.

  
Then that's pretty silly
to wear a bootie.

  
Pedro, be polite.

  
You know something, Pedro?

  
You're right.

  
[yawns]

  
[train horn blows]

  
[barking]

  
- [knocking on door]
- [Sam] Rachel.

  
Rachel.

  
Come on, Sleeping Beauty, let's go.

  
[Sam] Detective Ramirez called.

  
A white Chihuahua and a German
Shepherd were seen in Puerto Vallarta.

  
They're not sure if it was her,
she wasn't wearing her collar.

  
What? Someone stole Chloe's collar?

  
I'm going to go
all kinds of Mexican on him.

  
Chico, I have this pain
in the pit of my stomach.

  
- Must have been the Pop Rocks.
- Or it could be... guilt.

  
We should have never
stolen that chica's collar.

  
Now she'll never get home.

  
[speaks Spanish]

  
[both screaming]

  
Let's get out of here!

  
[makes donkey-like sounds]

  
[panting]

  
Make a left, make a left.

  
Aisle four, tortillas on the floor.

  
- I feel naked.
- Every man for himself!

  
- My head!
- Go through his legs!

  
This way. Come on!

  
Back the other way!

  
Get off me!

  
Hey, Chico! We're home free!

  
Back up, back up!

  
That's what you get!

  
Hey! He's got my diamonds!

  
- Our diamonds.
- Whatever.

  
[speaks Spanish]

  
[train horn blows]

  
Wake up! The conductor's coming!
Hide! Rápido, hide!

  
[indistinct chatter]

  
What's going on?

  
- Delgado, what's happening?
- We got trouble.

  
Hide behind the crate.
I'll distract him.

  
Don't come out,
no matter what happens.

  
But, Delgado...

  
Don't come out,
no matter what happens.

  
- What are you gonna do?
- Something crazy.

  
- [screaming]
- [crashing]

  
Well, that used to be easier.

  
Just my luck.

  
Delgado!

  
- Oh, my gosh.
- Oh, my back.

  
- Did you see that?
- Yes.

  
I just jumped off a train!
By myself! And it was moving.

  
I told you to stay onboard.

  
But we're in this together.
I couldn't leave you here.

  
I've never had a friend like you.

  
You should have stayed, kid.
Look around.

  
You should have stayed.

  
I told the local police
I found the collar on a rat.

  
But they didn't believe me.

  
I went to turn the diamonds in,
and they tried to arrest me.

  
Sorry for the confusion, señor.

  
The rat, he's clever.

  
Oye, this hombre
needs help.

  
I set traps to keep him out,
but he always gets in!

  
Sneaky, sneaky mouse.

  
You know what you need?

  
- [barks]
- A guard dog.

  
- He's a stray.
- Yeah, he's a stray...

  
but he's a really good dog.

  
[speaks Spanish]

  
[Rachel] Thanks for
returning Chloe's collar.

  
Congratulations, amigo.
You have a home.

  
Gracias, Rafa.
It will happen for you, too.

  
Stay brown, brother.

  
Come on.
Ain't nothing to it but to do it.

  
- Adiós
- Adiós, Chucho.

  
Hey, don't chew the furniture.

  
- Good luck finding your dog.
- [Sam] Thank you.

  
I just got off
with the Puerto Vallarta police.

  
There was some dog trouble
on the northbound train this morning.

  
A German Shepherd jumped off.

  
Chloe.

  
- Thank you.
- Call me if you find out anything.

  
- [Rachel] Follow the tracks north.
- [Sam] Through the Sonoran Desert.

  
[Rachel] This will be great.

  
She's getting away with my diamonds.

  
[Chico] I think that that's like...
karma, man.

  
See, you steal it,
and eventually it is stolen from you.

  
And I steal it back.

  
- How you going to do that?
- Quiet!

  
[ War:
Low Rider]

  
[Chloe] So, Bimini says that
she's going out with Scooter...

  
who I happen to know
is completely crazy.

  
[Delgado] Please, make it stop.

  
[Chloe] I can't say that to her.
I have to be supportive, right?

  
Wait a minute. Haven't we
passed this tree before?

  
No, you're mistaken.
We've been walking for hours.

  
- But I tinkled there.
- You what?

  
You tinkled?

  
Can't you tell?

  
Oh, my... You can't smell, can you?

  
[groans]

  
- No.
- What happened?

  
It's OK, you can tell me.

  
I didn't... quit the police force.

  
They let me go because
I could no longer follow a scent.

  
Now we're out here walking in circles.

  
I'm sorry, kid.

  
[distant growling]

  
- What's that?
- Mountain lions!

  
- I'm scared, Delgado.
- I know.

  
We better get moving.
We got to get out of the open.

  
- OK.
- Let's go. Double time.

  
Delgado, what happened to you?

  
Why can't you smell anything?

  
Well...

  
My partner and I...
we were on a major bust.

  
I was on point.

  
Before I knew it I was blind-sided.
Then it all went bad.

  
While I was down,
my partner got hurt.

  
He was never the same after that.
And neither was I.

  
I should have sensed him coming.

  
Next day I woke up
and couldn't smell a thing.

  
Were you hurt?

  
No. They say it's all in my head.

  
In my head.

  
[growl]

  
They found us!

  
I'll hold them off as long as I can
while you run. Understand?

  
They're just cats.
You could take them.

  
[growl]

  
We need a miracle. Run when I say run!

  
- Come on! Take them!
- [growls]

  
Yeah, you can do it!

  
Don't be afraid!

  
Go, Delgado! Go, Delgado!

  
- Run, kid! Run, now!
- OK, OK.

  
- Run and hide!
- Here. I'm here.

  
This is not hiding.

  
[rumbling]

  
[rumbling stops]

  
[dogs growling]

  
Say hello to my little friends.

  
[barking]

  
- [cats shriek]
- [barking]

  
Whoa! That's some bark you guys got.

  
I am Montezuma!
Come with us if you want to live.

  
Yeah, I want to live.

  
Now I've seen it all.

  
[Chloe] Can you help us get back
to civilization, Montezuma?

  
[Montezuma] Of course.

  
But it is too dangerous
to travel these canyons after dark.

  
You will spend the night here with us.

  
[Chloe] Where are we?

  
You are in Chihuahua.
Birthplace of our mighty breed.

  
I was born in Beverly Hills.

  
Sí, but your ancestors
came from here.

  
The Aztec people left long ago,
but we remain.

  
Wow.

  
[ Luis Oliveira and His Bandodalua Boys:
Chihuahua]

  
Did you hear what he said, Delgado?

  
- I come from a mighty breed.
- Yeah, mighty annoying.

  
You're just mad because
we were saved by little dogs.

  
Very little dogs.

  
Tonight we celebrate your arrival.

  
Thank you, Montezuma.

  
Please, call me Monte.

  
- [Chloe sighs]
- [Delgado] Ay yi yi.

  
[barking]

  
[Chloe] Wow! All this for me, Monte?

  
[Monte] Yes, Chloe.

  
When a Chihuahua comes home,
it is cause for celebration.

  
[Chloe] Even a Beverly Hills Chihuahua?

  
[Monte] Of course. No matter where
you come from, you are one of us.

  
Tiny but mighty.

  
Mighty? But I'm just... a lapdog.

  
A lapdog? No.

  
Do not insult yourself. Do not insult
the Chihuahua race.

  
- [all] No más.
- [Chloe] No más?

  
Sí, it means "no more."

  
We Chihuahuas are not toys
or fashion accessories.

  
[all] No más.

  
We were not bred to wear silly hats
and ride in purses!

  
[all] No más.

  
We will no longer
be spoken to with baby talk.

  
We have been called "teacup"
and "tiny toy" for too long.

  
[puppy] No más!

  
Names like Fifi, Foo-Foo...

  
Pookie, Pumpkin, or Squirt.

  
[all] No más!

  
Yes, we Chihuahuas shake, but not for
the amusement of humans.

  
We shake because we know the power
of our inner strength. Our bark.

  
[all] No más!

  
Yes, we are tiny, but we are mighty!

  
[all] No más! No más! No más!

  
Join with us, Chloe.
Embrace no más. Find your bark.

  
My bark?

  
Sí! That which makes you mighty.

  
That which makes you... you.

  
We are Chihuahuas, hear us roar.

  
[all barking]

  
- [bark]
- [Chloe squeaks]

  
- [bark]
- [squeak]

  
[squeak]

  
That was embarrassing.

  
Don't worry, little one. Your bark will
come when you need it most.

  
[all barking]

  
[speaks Spanish]

  
Last one in the house is a chew toy!

  
[speaks Spanish]

  
They have room.

  
[Manuel] Come on. Little more.

  
- You got it now. Now pull.
- [Chico] I got it, I got it.

  
- Sweet smell of success.
- I'm smelling something else.

  
There's the bag. There's the bag that's
got my diamonds. Hey, watch your nose!

  
I don't feel right about this.

  
Look, my neck flap is swelling up.

  
Stop with the guilt.
Iguanas are supposed to be cold-blooded.

  
You know I was born in captivity.
I grew up under a heat lamp.

  
Snap out of it. We got a job to do.

  
Ah-hah! You're the pack rat
who stole the collar!

  
See? You're so busted, Manuel.

  
Hey, dude, you got me mixed up with
another rat. You know we all look alike.

  
- No, no. It's him. He did it.
- What?

  
Now the love of my life
is out there in trouble.

  
- Not because of us.
- No?

  
- We were trying to... save her.
- Yeah.

  
From the demon dog that's hunting her.

  
Tell me about this demon dog.

  
[low growl]

  
[bleeping]

  
Chloe, you can always stay here with us.

  
This place is amazing, Monte.

  
But there's someone at home who's
probably worried and missing me...

  
and I miss him.

  
Your corazón?

  
Mi corazón. What does that mean?

  
My heart.

  
I never even gave him a chance.

  
We Chihuahuas come
in many shapes and colors...

  
but when you look not with your eyes,
but with your soul,

  
there we're all the same.

  
Listen... back there with the lions...

  
...uh... uh... thanks.

  
But of course. We are Chihuahuas.

  
Ah! Civilization at last.
We made it, Delgado.

  
- Delgado!
- Just keep paddling!

  
[Chloe] Whoa!
[screams]

  
- That was fun!
- Yeah, you're a real aquatic goddess.

  
- Delgado, look!
- What?

  
Is that you? Nice toga.

  
I can't believe Rachel's looking for me.

  
Let's get some help.

  
[both barking]

  
[speaks Spanish]

  
- Chloe.
- Sí.

  
[both speak Spanish]

  
We always kept a dog
when my husband was alive.

  
He'd make a great companion.
You guys are perfect for each other.

  
Somebody's got a lady friend.

  
I have a home.

  
We're on our way. Hey, Rachel,
that was Ramirez. They found Chloe.

  
[screams]

  
Whoa. Awkward.

  
We should go.
Ramirez is going to meet us there.

  
I told you,
everything's going to be fine.

  
[ The Pinker Tones:
Whistling Song]

  
[Rachel] This is the place.

  
Chloe!

  
Hello?

  
OK, how about here?
You American dogs are so picky.

  
OK, go. What?

  
Ah. Excuse me, señorita.
Please, please, go.

  
I've seen that gringo before.

  
[sniffs]

  
Oye, that van.
My Chloe's been there.

  
Right on, Mighty Dog. Power to the Papi.

  
- Now go get her!
- [Chico] Go get your princesa.

  
- ¡Mi corazón!
- [Chico] So romantic.

  
Man, I thought we'd
never get rid of him.

  
- Come on.
- Now I'll finally get my diamonds.

  
[Chico] For the love of a banana,
hurry. Ow!

  
Señora?

  
Oh, no. No!

  
[shouts in Spanish]

  
Chloe!

  
[speaks Spanish]

  
- [Delgado] Turn me loose!
- What did he say?

  
- Don't worry, we're going to find her.
- What?

  
Oh!

  
I'm going to look for her.

  
Kid!

  
[sniffing]

  
Kid! Where are you? Chloe!

  
[gasping] Where are you taking me?

  
Good job, Diablo. Good job.

  
You've been a lot of trouble, huh?
I hope you're worth it.

  
I need to call the owners,
so get the dog in the van.

  
[man] Yes, sir.

  
Surprise!

  
- [crunch]
- [man screams]

  
Don't mess with a Chihuahua!

  
Papi! What are you doing here!

  
Rescuing you. Run!

  
- Come on.
- I'm coming.

  
Go! Diablo, go!

  
- [Vasquez] Get that Chihuahua!
- [Rafferty] Which one?

  
- The mean one!
- Papi!

  
- We're trapped!
- I will protect you, mi corazón.

  
Hold on, Chloe!

  
Come on, little brat.

  
[screams]

  
[both grunt]

  
[Manuel] Ow!

  
Oh, my back. I need an aspirin.

  
- Doesn't that hurt?
- You see a tooth around?

  
You two! What are you doing here?

  
It's not what you think.

  
Look... we're not trying
to steal this collar.

  
- Right.
- Maybe we are.

  
Look, what my partner's
trying to say is, if you hurry,

  
- you can pick up her scent using this.
- Yeah.

  
- I can't.
- What?

  
I make this noble gesture,
you're not even going to try?

  
What's the point of having that
thing on the end of your face?

  
[sniffs]

  
- I can't!
- She needs you, man.

  
- What part don't you understand?
- She needs you, man!

  
You can do it! Smell.

  
- That's it.
- You can do it, Delgado. Come on.

  
Smell.

  
I'm getting something. Pack rat.

  
Old nachos.

  
Chanel No. 5.

  
He's got it!

  
I have a Chihuahua to save.

  
- He's got my collar!
- Yeah, he's got it.

  
You did a good thing, Manuel.
You know you did a good thing.

  
- [Manuel laughs]
- You're blushing. You're blushing.

  
[men speaking Spanish]

  
[Rachel] That's Chloe's collar.

  
He wants to lead us
to the Chihuahua. Let's go.

  
Be careful.
The whole structure is crumbling.

  
[Vasquez] Rafferty,
there's no sign of the dog.

  
[Papi] Hey, tough guy,
you're lucky I'm locked in.

  
[Vasquez] Rafferty, come in.

  
[Papi] You look confused.

  
Hey, man, where you going?
To find the rest of your tail?

  
[Vasquez] Rafferty, come in.

  
I know you're here, chica.
I can smell you.

  
[Vasquez] Rafferty, come in, come in.

  
- Rafferty.
- Sorry, you're breaking up, boss.

  
[Delgado squeaks]

  
I'm going to get you now, you rat.

  
Hello. One down.

  
Rafferty, what's going on?
Talk to me. What's going on?

  
- Chloe, you're okay.
- Shhh.

  
Come in. I cannot hear you. Come on.

  
[straining]

  
- Who you been hanging around with?
- Diablo, let's get out...

  
- Get them. Get them!
- [Chloe] Run!

  
- Follow me!
- [Papi] We can do it!

  
Whoa, you heard the man.
Come on, get me.

  
[Papi] Too slow, gotta go!

  
- [Chloe shrieks]
- [grunting]

  
Come here. Come here!

  
[Papi] You better watch out, dog.
I'm going to beat you like a piñata!

  
They don't call me
Papi Loco for nothing!

  
Come on, little rat. Come on!

  
- Whoa!
- Papi!

  
Say goodbye to your corazón.

  
No... más. [squeaks]

  
No más. [squeaks]

  
It's over.

  
- Chloe!
- No más!

  
[loud bark]

  
[gasps]

  
Wow! That's my bark.

  
[bark]

  
I barked!

  
[speaks Spanish]

  
I barked!

  
Two down.

  
He's all yours, Officer.

  
[Officer] Señor Vasquez.

  
- Did you see that?
- Wow.

  
I barked!

  
Ai, Mami! Nice set of pipes!

  
- [growling]
- [Chloe] Run!

  
It's time to finish what I started.

  
You don't scare me anymore!

  
Then why are you shaking?

  
Because I am a Chihuahua!

  
[growling] Diablo!

  
Big mistake.

  
Leave him alone!

  
- Chloe, what are you doing?
- [Chloe] You owe me a cashmere sweater.

  
- Hang on, Chloe!
- [Delgado] Kid, hang on.

  
- How dare you!
- [Papi] Chloe, watch out!

  
[Chloe screams]

  
[howling]

  
It's over, Diablo! It is over!

  
You took everything from me.

  
- Now, we're even.
- [gulps]

  
[Papi] Chloe?

  
Mi corazón?

  
[distant growl]

  
Kid?

  
She's... gone.

  
Wake up, mi corazón.

  
It's me. Your Papi.

  
Speak to me.

  
Fill my ears with your beautiful voice.

  
Without you, the sun
will have no warmth...

  
the flowers, no beauty.

  
Chloe, my tail will have no wag.

  
Come back to Beverly Hills with me,
and I will tend your garden forever.

  
Your love is the rain
that falls upon my earth.

  
Don't stop now. It's just getting good.

  
Ai Chihuahua!

  
Papi, that was beautiful.

  
Chloe, you're back. You're back.

  
[Rachel] Chloe?

  
[Papi] She's back!

  
You're OK.

  
Chloe, where have you been?

  
Rachel, you missed all the fun.

  
[Delgado] You are one tough Chihuahua.

  
Tiny but mighty.

  
[Rachel] Hi, Chloe.

  
Hi. Hi.

  
[police siren]

  
[grunts]

  
[Delgado] So you're the... guard dog.

  
No, man. I'm a landscaper.

  
- [laughs] Oops.
- Right.

  
Well, adiós, kid.

  
Oh, uh... Delgado.

  
You know,
Vivian could still use a guard dog.

  
Thanks for the offer,
but someone has to go after El Diablo.

  
Besides, princesa, I think you
can take care of things yourself now.

  
I'll miss you.

  
Yeah, I'll miss you, too, kid.
But this isn't goodbye.

  
I'm sure we'll be
seeing each other again.

  
[sighs]

  
Don't turn around. Don't turn around.

  
Maybe you could use
a little extra help on the force.

  
Where do you think
you are going, officer?

  
Ready to get back on the job?

  
[barks]

  
Officer!

  
[both bark]

  
Yeah. Good boy. Good boy.

  
[Rachel] Chloe! Papi! Let's go home.

  
We gotta get home before Aunt Viv does.

  
Hey, come here.

  
Goodbye, my friends. [speaks Spanish]

  
[speaks Spanish]

  
- Adiós, amigo.
- [Delgado] Adiós, kid.

  
Muchas gracias, Delgado.

  
Thank you, Chloe.
I've never had a friend like you.

  
Great, she's not home yet.
She'll be here any minute.

  
- Can you get the bags?
- Yeah, I'll get the bags.

  
- I'll put her in the tub.
- Go, go, go.

  
Hurry up!

  
Come on. We're going to make it.

  
Oh-oh. Think fast, amigo.

  
Hi! How are you? Welcome.

  
- Welcome. Hi.
- What a surprise. Hello.

  
I took photographs
of the most wonderful gardens.

  
You're not going to believe.
First, I want to go see Chloe.

  
- Actually, I need you to see something.
- That's the best you can do?

  
- Something you're gonna love.
- Should I bite her leg?

  
By the way, you look exhausted.
You've been working too hard.

  
Chloe? Chloe.

  
- Sam, put my bags over there, please?
- Yes.

  
Chloe? Rachel?

  
- Hi, Aunt Viv.
- Hi.

  
- Hi.
- Hi.

  
Your hair is all wet.

  
I was in a bath.

  
- Oh. Where's my Chloe?
- There she is.

  
Hi, sweetheart.

  
Hi. Come here.
Hi, sweetheart.

  
My baby girl. My sweet angel.

  
I missed you so much. I did.

  
Yes, I did.

  
What's that smell? What's that...

  
[Viv] It's sort of... urban and...

  
kind of earthy... and it's fabulous.

  
That's Mexico No. 5.

  
I can't believe I'm running over
a pond in my best dress.

  
So does this mean you're no longer a
prissy Beverly Hills Chihuahua?

  
Beverly Hills, sí. Prissy,
no más.

  
How do you say "What are you doing
on Friday night" in Spanish?

  
[both speak Spanish]

  
Me? Nothing. And you?

  
- Nada.
- Bueno, let's...

  
After the way I treated you,

  
I can't believe you came after me.

  
How could I not?

  
[speaks Spanish]

  
I think I'm... going to cry.

  
[whimpers]

  
Oh, Chloe. [laughs]

  
[chuckles] Papi likes.

  
[Papi] In case
you were wondering, amigos.

  
Delgado received the medal of honor for
capturing his archnemesis, El Diablo.

  
Shortly after entering the pound,

  
El Diablo was adopted by a rich lady
with a passion for fashion.

  
Rafa became the official
spokesdog for Minty Mutt.

  
For that doggy fresh breath
all day long.

  
Bimini, Sebastian, and Delta
landed a dream spot

  
on TV's hottest new reality show,

  
So You Think You Can Prance. Hey!

  
Chico and Manuel
stowed away to Beverly Hills...

  
where they learned
a new English word...

  
..."bling."

  
This was Chloe and
me on our first date.

  
And who knows? Maybe there are
a few taquitos in our future.

  
Let's just say
mi corazón puts the "wow" in...

  
... Chihuahua!

  
[ Ali Dee:
Chihuahua]

  
[ Heitor Pereira:
Llama ("Chloe's Theme")]

Special thanks to SergeiK.

star wars the force awakens

2017-01-13 17:30:46 UTC

STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS

Written by

Lawrence Kasdan, J.J. Abrams & Michael Arndt

Based on characters created by George Lucas

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

STAR WARS

EPISODE VII

THE FORCE AWAKENS

Luke Skywalker has vanished. In his absence,
the sinister FIRST ORDER has risen from the
ashes of the Empire and will not rest until
Skywalker, the last Jedi, has been destroyed.
With the support of the REPUBLIC, General
Leia Organa leads a brave RESISTANCE. She is
desperate to find her brother Luke and gain
his help in restoring peace and justice to
the galaxy.

Leia has sent her most daring pilot on a secret
mission to Jakku, where an old ally has
discovered a clue to Luke's whereabouts....

PAN across the star field to a bright moon. A RUMBLING is
FELT. A VAST STAR DESTROYER -- unlike any we have seen --
HURTLES PAST US, of seemingly endless length, eclipsing the
moon. After a long beat, FOUR TRANSPORT SHIPS fly from a
hangar. We HOLD ON THEM NOW, as they fly off toward a distant
planet. Jakku. MUSIC BUILDS AND WE...

CUT TO BLACK.

A GROWING ROAR of MEAN ENGINES -- gnarled RADIO CALLS, the
SHUDDERING of a ship's hull. Then FLASHES OF LIGHT: for an
instant we see a STORMTROOPER -- then BLACKNESS. Then ANOTHER
STORMTROOPER, then it's gone.

The FLICKERING CONTINUES until the LIGHTS ARE CONSTANT. We

ARE IN:

INT. TROOP TRANSPORT VEHICLE - NIGHT

TWENTY STORMTROOPERS. Holding on at attention, moving to
the ship's rhythm, in the tense moments before a raid. A
FILTERED COMMAND and they LOCK AND LOAD their heavy blaster
rifles. The BRUTAL NOISE is replaced by SUDDEN, SHOCKING

QUIET:

EXT. JAKKU VILLAGE - NIGHT

WIDE SHOT of a small, peaceful village. Distant sounds of
native animals. A single wind chime.
Suddenly a DROID RISES INTO FRAME, CLOSE: ROUND and SKITTERY,
orange and white, this is BB-8.
Focuses on something past camera. He BEEPS -- FAST, MORSE
CODE-LIKE SOUNDS, clearly worried. Moves EVEN CLOSER TO
CAMERA -- is MORE worried -- BEEPS more -- then TURNS AND

ROLLS OFF FAST --

INT. LARGE HUT - NIGHT

CLOSE ON A HAND: a small LEATHER SACK is placed in the palm.
The hand closes. Another OLDER HAND covers it.
In a primitive HUT, an old explorer, LOR SAN TEKKA, (rugged,
kind) has handed the mysterious sack to POE DAMERON (32, in
a pilot's jacket). Poe has charisma, a natural spark:

LOR SAN TEKKA
This will begin to make things right.
I've traveled too far, and seen too
much, to ignore the despair in the
galaxy. Without the Jedi, there can
be no balance in the Force.

POE
Well, because of you now we have a
chance. The General's been after
this for a long time.

LOR SAN TEKKA
"The General." To me, she's royalty.
Well, she certainly is that.

POE
BB-8 ENTERS FRANTIC, BEEPS. Concerned, Poe turns to Lor San
Tekka.

POE (CONT'D)
We've got company.

EXT. LARGE HUT - NIGHT

The men exit fast. Poe moves TO CAMERA, raises QUADNOCULARS.
POE'S POV: LIGHTS on the horizon -- approaching ENEMY SHIPS.
POE lowers the quadnocs -- PUSH IN ON HIS UNNERVED EYES. A

GROWING, FRIGHTENING THUNDER.

POE
You have to hide.

LOR SAN TEKKA
You have to leave. Go!
Poe turns to him. Conflicted. Finally nods, hurries off.
BB-8 follows.

EXT. JAKKU VILLAGE - NIGHT

TRACK FAST with Poe as he and BB-8 hurry through the village,
various ARMED VILLAGERS taking position, prepared to defend.

EXT. JAKKU VILLAGE - NIGHT

A ROAR of WIND and DUST: the TRANSPORTS LAND. Stormtroopers
come out FIRING BLASTERS -- the VILLAGERS FIRE BACK -- many
are HIT!

EXT. RISE ADJACENT TO VILLAGE - NIGHT

Poe runs to an X-WING fighter, parked at a distance from the
village, hidden behind a ROCK OUTCROPPING.

POE
Come on, BB-8! Hurry!
Poe sends BB-8 into the droid socket / co-pilot seat -- he
moves to the cockpit -- the CONTROLS COME TO LIFE. As the
CANOPY CLOSES, Poe shoots a quick look back: the ENEMY ARRIVES

IN THE DISTANCE.
Poe urgently works the controls -- BB-8 BEEPS.
The X-WING LANDING LIGHTS COME ON, ENGINES WHINE TO LIFE!
But just then:
Poe's ship is suddenly HIT BY BLASTERFIRE! Poe turns to
look: two STORMTROOPERS CHARGE HIS WAY, FIRING!

POE (CONT'D)
I see 'em!
BB-8 BEEPS nervously as Poe GRABS HIS CONTROLS and FIRES AT
THEM, using the X-wing's drop-down antipersonnel blaster!
The two Troopers are BLOWN AWAY in the large BLAST HITS!
Poe tries to start the ship now, but the ENGINES SPUTTER.
Concerned, he opens his canopy, jumps down, moves to the
back of his ship: BAD DAMAGE ON THE REAR ENGINE PANEL.
They're in trouble.

EXT. JAKKU VILLAGE - NIGHT

Lor San Tekka moves sadly through the village as STORMTROOPERS
wielding FLAME THROWERS destroy structures. Surrendering
Villagers are ROUNDED UP. Penned ANIMALS panic.

EXT. RISE ADJACENT TO THE VILLAGE - NIGHT

Back at the X-wing, Poe kneels beneath his ship, pulls from
the leather sack a SMALL, OLD ARTIFACT which he inserts into
BB-8 -- the droid's MULTI-READER ENVELOPS it.

POE
You take this. It's safer with you
than it is with me. You get as far
away from here as you can. Do you
hear me?
(BB-8 BEEPS, hesitates)
I'll come back for you! It will be
alright.

BB-8 watches Poe run off. BEEP-WHINES nervously, then turns
and heads off. Turns back once to look at Poe, then ROLLS
AWAY. Poe uses his blaster rifle to fire at incoming troopers
from cover.

EXT. JAKKU VILLAGE - NIGHT

The Troopers and villagers in battle -- as one Trooper is
HIT and goes down. Another -- OUR TROOPER -- KNEELS to help.
The hit trooper raises a torn, bloody glove -- his HUMAN
HAND visible -- and MARKS OUR STORMTROOPER'S MASK WITH BLOOD
just before he dies. Our Trooper, stands -- overwhelmed by
the battle.

AN IMPOSING SHUTTLE CRAFT -- VERTICAL WINGSPAN 90 FEET TALL --

LANDS NEAR THE TRANSPORT VEHICLES.
The shuttle craft door OPENS -- through the wind and smoke,
KYLO REN exits the ship: a TALL, DARK FIGURE, he strides
through the chaos toward San Tekka.
A senior Trooper moves to our blood-marked Trooper, and orders

HIM:

SENIOR TROOPER
Stay here.
Our Trooper nods.
Kylo Ren stops before the outraged Lor San Tekka, dwarfing
him. Only now does it become apparent that Kylo Ren wears a
DARK MASK, marked by battle. Inset metal lines reflect FIRE.

KYLO REN
Look how old you've become.

LOR SAN TEKKA
Something far worse has happened to
you.
Our blood-marked TROOPER is placed in line with other
stormtroopers.

KYLO REN
You know what I've come for.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: LOR SAN TEKKA
I know where you come from. Before
you called yourself Kylo Ren.

KYLO REN
The map to Skywalker. We know you've
found it, and now you're going to
give it to the First Order.
Adjacent to the village, Poe enters frame -- sees the Ren/San
Tekka exchange continue.

LOR SAN TEKKA
The First Order rose from the dark
side... you did not.

KYLO REN
I'll show you the dark side.

LOR SAN TEKKA
You may try, but you cannot deny the
truth that is your family.
Suddenly Kylo Ren raises his LIGHTSABER -- IGNITES IT --

PERPENDICULAR SMALLER BLADES AT THE HILT, A UNIQUE BUZZ --

YELLOW/RED ENERGY, SPITTING SPARKS AND SMOKE --

KYLO REN
You're so right.
And as he RIPS IT DOWN ACROSS SAN TEKKA!
Poe, RUNNING, SEES THIS AND YELLS, AIMS HIS BLASTER AND FIRES
AT KYLO REN! Instantly:
Kylo Ren RAISES HIS HAND -- POE'S BLAST FREEZES -- THE BOLT

OF ENERGY STRAINING AND VIBRATING IN MID AIR!
Kylo Ren sees Poe, who suddenly CANNOT MOVE, but strains to.
He is grabbed by Stormtroopers who drag him past the
VIBRATING, FROZEN BLAST, to Kylo Ren.
A Stormtrooper begins a brutal PAT DOWN. Kylo Ren moves
closer. Poe just glares. The Stormtrooper KICKS OUT Poe's
legs -- he lands hard on his knees.
Kylo Ren kneels to look at Poe.

POE
So who talks first? You talk first?

KYLO REN
The old man gave it to you.

POE

(INDICATES KYLO'S

MASK)
It's just very hard to understand
you with all the...

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

KYLO REN

(TO TROOPERS)
Search him.

POE
... Apparatus.
The Troopers roughly pull Poe away. A Stormtrooper begins a
brutal PAT DOWN. Kylo Ren moves closer.
Poe just glares as the pat down ends.

STORMTROOPER #1
Nothing, sir.

KYLO REN
Put him on board.
Kylo Ren regards the Stormtroopers with the rounded up
Villagers, then turns to the CHROME-SKINNED, FEMALE BLACK-

CAPED HEAD STORMTROOPER, CAPTAIN PHASMA.

CAPTAIN PHASMA
Sir, the villagers.

KYLO REN
Kill them all.
Phasma nods, steps forward:

CAPTAIN PHASMA
On my command!
The Troopers, including OURS, aim at the Villagers.

CAPTAIN PHASMA (CONT'D)
Fire!
Poe is roughly PULLED into a transport ship, the ramp LIFTS.
All around our Trooper BLASTERFIRE ERUPTS -- but we're WIDE
ENOUGH to see he ISN'T FIRING. PUSH IN until the FIRING
STOPS. All the Stormtroopers SPREAD OUT TO SEARCH -- except
ours.
Kylo Ren heads back toward his ship. But then he STOPS.
Feels something. TURNS AND LOOKS AT OUR STORMTROOPER for a
LONG MOMENT. Our Trooper can barely meet his gaze; knows
he's doomed.
Kylo Ren then heads off -- passes the FROZEN BLAST, which,
after a beat, GOES FREE AND SLAMS INTO A NEARBY STRUCTURE,
scaring the hell out of our Stormtrooper.

EXT. EDGE OF JAKKU VILLAGE - NIGHT

A Stormtrooper climbs down from the cockpit of Poe's X-wing,

BACKS AWAY:

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

STORMTROOPER #2
Nothing here. Go ahead!
Three other Stormtroopers FIRE LASER CANNONS at the X-wing --
destroying the ship in a LARGE EXPLOSION.

EXT. OUTSKIRTS OF JAKKU VILLAGE - NIGHT

BB-8 rolls across the sand, looks back: the X-wing FIREBALL.
BB-8, afraid, continues on his own in a mysterious, dark
desert. We see a FORM -- an animal, its RED EYES LIFTING
from the sand, watching the rolling droid, who just keeps
going.
In a WIDE SHOT, we HEAR HIM BEEPING to himself, lonely and
frightened.

EXT. SPACE - NIGHT

With the SANDY PLANET OF JAKKU as backdrop, Troop Transports
and Kylo Ren's Shuttle approach a massive STAR DESTROYER.

INT. STAR DESTROYER HANGAR - NIGHT

Poe, shackled, is ushered from the transport through the
hangar. He is awed by the imposing space.

POE
All right. All right!
Our Stormtrooper passes, moves fast:

INT. TROOP TRANSPORT VEHICLE - NIGHT

Our Stormtrooper enters the dark, vehicle. He removes his
helmet. His head comes up and we PUSH IN ON HIS FACE FOR
THE FIRST TIME. This is FN-2187. He is 23, likable. But
in this moment, terrified, desperate.
After a beat, behind him, CAPTAIN PHASMA enters. FN-2187
knows he's in trouble.

CAPTAIN PHASMA
FN-2187. Submit your blaster for
inspection.

FN-2187
Yes, Captain.

CAPTAIN PHASMA
And who gave you permission to remove
that helmet?

FN-2187
I'm sorry, Captain.

CAPTAIN PHASMA
Report to my division at once.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
Phasma heads off. Shattered, FN-2187 replaces his helmet.

CUT TO:

INT. JUNKED VESSEL CORRIDOR - DAY

A metal sheet is pulled open to reveal the wrapped up face
of A SCAVENGER, perhaps alien, in GOGGLES, FACE MASK and
GLOVES. Backpack with a STAFF strapped to it. Uses TOOLS
to remove various MECHANISMS from inside the wall. We are
in an upside-down, canted CORRIDOR. The Scavenger finds a
valuable piece, drops it in a SATCHEL.
Swings the bag back and begins CLIMBING DOWN on a cable,
between treacherous WALLS OF MACHINERY, headed to:

INT. JUNKED VESSEL - LARGER SPACE - LATER

Alone and tiny in this massive, sideways wreck, the Scavenger
descends, climbing down a two-hundred foot-long cable. LANDS
HARD onto rusty metal.

INT. JUNKED VESSEL - ENGINES - DAY

The Scavenger carries the satchel and another large, found
piece, over enormous pipes in the vast space, heads through
the dust toward a distant SLIT OF SUNLIGHT.

EXT. JUNKED VESSEL ENGINE - DAY

The Scavenger arrives from the darkness and pulls off goggles
and gear, revealing the grimy face of a beautiful, young
WOMAN. This is REY, 19.
She opens her canteen, shakes out the two final drops into
her mouth. HITS THE SIDE of the canteen again and again for
whatever she can get. CUT WIDE:
Rey is rendered minuscule, standing at the bottom of an EPIC

ENGINE OF A DECAYING, CRASHED STAR DESTROYER -- DISTANT SOUND
of her canteen-hitting. She sets her things on a piece of
sheet metal and sits next to it, sliding down the sand dune.
She RIDES DOWN THE MOUNTAIN OF SAND. WE HOLD FOR A LONG
TIME, looking down, as she recedes from us, toward the distant
SALT FLATS below. Random SCATTERED DEBRIS. Her SPEEDER,
tiny from here.
Rey moves to her junker SPEEDER, jumps on, fires the sputtery
engine and DRIVES OFF.

EXT. DESERT - SPACESHIP GRAVEYARD - DAY

Rey races along the desert floor: a GRAVEYARD OF CRASHED

SPACESHIPS.

EXT. NIIMA OUTPOST - DAY

Rey's speeder PASSES us, heading for a dusty, desert town.
Refueling, small trade, scavengers.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
CRASH! Rey's sack carrying her heavy FOUND OBJECTS hits the
sand. Working like a tough seaman, Rey hauls the sack from
her speeder toward the town.

EXT. NIIMA OUTPOST - CLEANING TABLE - DAY

TIGHT ON REY'S HANDS as she SCRUBS CLEAN her day's salvage.
Rey glances up: she looks at an old woman, also cleaning
some salvage.
Rey watches her, gets lost in the simple moment. A small,
passing alien UNDERLING barks something to her in another
language. She returns to work.

INT. NIIMA TRADING STRUCTURE - DAY

Rey looks up to a SERVICE WINDOW: two feet above her, behind
a protective screen, is her boss, UNKAR PLUTT (50, blobfish,
unclean). He examines her pieces. Then he offers:

UNKAR
What you've brought me today is
worth... Hmmm... One quarter
portion.
Though disappointed, Rey barely shows it. She nods thanks.
Unkar pushes through his transfer drawer a SEALED PACKET:
DRIED GREEN MEAT in one section, BEIGE POWDER in another.
She takes it.
She swallows her resentment and heads off.

EXT. NIIMA OUTPOST - DAY

The IMMENSE SETTING SUN against the FLAT TERRAIN. Rey's
SPEEDER races, almost insignificant, across frame.

INT. REY'S DWELLING - DAY

She SCRATCHES MARKS into the rusty wall. Another MARK;
another DAY. And there are THOUSANDS of marks.
A SIZZLING SOUND over: A DRIED DESERT FLOWER in a rusty ENGINE
PIECE. A rough, stuffed HANDMADE DOLL, made from what looks
like orange Rebellion flight suit material and twine.
Rey's lonely, ramshackle dwelling. Everything reclaimed.
She cooks for one. Does everything for one. She opens the
POWDER, moves to the makeshift WOK, where the GREEN MEAT
SIZZLES. Pours the powder into milky WATER in a tin. Stirs
it. It GROWS INTO A LOAF as she puts the meat on an old
plate. Grabs the loaf.

EXT. REY'S DWELLING - DUSK

Rey sits, eats like a starving child. Every last drop.
Licks the metal plate. Looks out at the horizon. A single
silent ship heads off, a shimmering, thin contrail. She
wipes her mouth. Picks up an old, broken REBELLION HELMET.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: just 'cause.
Puts it on,
WIDE SHOT of Rey sitting, alone and isolated, on the leg of
an ANCIENT, FALLEN AT-AT in which she lives.
Then, a distant ELECTRONIC SQUEAL -- instantly she's up,
helmet too big, she rips it off. Hears ANOTHER BEEPING
SQUEAL. She hurries to her QUARTERSTAFF and runs off.
Rey climbs a dune. RISE WITH HER, revealing BB-8, caught in
a NET but fighting back, being held by a TEEDO (a small,
brutish desert tyrant), who rides a LUGGABEAST. The teedo
YELLS at BB-8, who BEEPS madly, struggling to free himself.
Rey watches this injustice for a beat, finally YELLING OUT:

REY
Tal'ama parqual!
The Teedo and BB-8 STOP, GO SILENT, turn to her.

REY (CONT'D)
Parqual zatana!
A half beat and the Teedo YELLS SOMETHING BACK, threatening.
BB-8's head swivels to him, then back to Rey, like watching
a tennis match.
Rey angrily moves to them, pulling a knife from her pouch.
Rey starts CUTTING BB-8 out of the netting. The Teedo freaks
out, YELLING. Rey suddenly stands, turns to the Teedo and
says, fiercely:

REY (CONT'D)

NOMA.
The Teedo barks a sort of "AHHHHH!" (As if to say, "GO TO
HELL!"), Then heads off on his beast. This prompts BB-8 to
start BEEP-YELLING at the departing bully, provocatively.

REY (CONT'D)
Shhhh.
BB-8 quiets instantly. The two watch the Teedo head off.
Finally, BB-8 BEEPS a question. She KNEELS to him.

REY (CONT'D)
That's just Teedo. Wants you for
parts. He has no respect for anyone.
Your antenna's bent.
(considers BB-8 for
the first time,

STRAIGHTENS THE

ANTENNA)
Where do you come from?

(BB-8 BEEPS)
Classified. Really? Me too. Big
secret.
(points to horizon)
Niima Outpost is that way, stay off
Kelvin Ridge.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

REY (CONT'D)
Keep away from the Sinking Fields in
the north, you'll drown in the sand.
(stands, heads off)

BB-8 starts after her, BEEPS. She turns sharply, he stops.

REY (CONT'D)
Don't follow me. Town is that way.
(he BEEPS again)
No!
She heads off again. Finally he BEEPS to her -- something
SWEET this time. That he is alone, scared, has no one else.
This makes her stop. She turns and looks at him. Not liking
him. But a gesture of her head says, reluctantly, "Come
on." BB-8 quickly moves to her. They head off together.

REY (CONT'D)
In the morning, you go.

(HE BEEPS)
You're welcome.
The two disappear behind a dune.

EXT. STAR DESTROYER - DAY

Three TIE fighters head to the massive ship high above Jakku.

INT. STAR DESTROYER HOLDING CELL - DAY

POE, shackled to a chair, BEATEN, wakes up.

KYLO REN
I had no idea we had the best pilot
in the Resistance on board.
Comfortable?
Through battered lips:

POE
Not really.

KYLO REN
I'm impressed. No one has been able
to get out of you what you did with
the map.

POE
Might wanna rethink your technique.
Kylo Ren says nothing, reaches out to him. Poe flinches in
the chair as Kylo Ren reaches for his face, not touching
him. Poe is soon in agony, remains in horrible silence --

KYLO REN
Where is it?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

POE
The Resistance will not be intimidated
by you.

KYLO REN
Where... is it?
Poe can't take it -- he BEGINS TO SCREAM and we CUT TO:

INT. STAR DESTROYER CORRIDOR - DAY

WHOOOSH! The cell door SLIDES UP. Kylo Ren exits, fierce,
confronts GENERAL HUX (34, scary) who awaits him:

KYLO REN
It's in a droid. A BB unit.

GENERAL HUX
Well then. If it's on Jakku, we'll
soon have it.

KYLO REN
I leave that to you.

EXT. NIIMA OUTPOST - DAY

BB-8 is dropped to the sand.

REY
Don't give up. He still might show
up. Whoever it is you're waiting
for. Classified. I know all about
waiting.
BB-8 BEEPTALKS a question.

REY (CONT'D)
For my family. They'll be back.
One day. Come on.
She tries to force a smile, but can't, really. She heads
off. BB-8 BEEPS... then heads after her.

INT. NIIMA TRADING STRUCTURE - DAY

Rey stands with BB-8 in front of Unkar Plutt, at his window.
He reviews her goods. He glances quickly at BB-8.

UNKAR
These five pieces are worth... Let
me see here... One half portion.

REY

(OBJECTS)
Last week they were a half portion
each.
She hates him. He leans forward.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

UNKAR
What about the droid?

REY
What about him?

UNKAR
I'll pay for him.
BB-8 doesn't like this at all. Rey is awkward, but curious.

UNKAR (CONT'D)
Sixty portions.
CLOSE ON HER. Stunned. Literally hungry for this amount of
food, her stomach practically rumbles.
BB-8 sees her interest and BEEPS furiously, not liking this
conversation at all.
She looks at Unkar. Looks down at BB-8. Considers it all.
Finally, she hears herself say:

REY
Actually... the droid's not for sale.

(TO BB-8)
Come on.
Unkar furious. Rey, then BB-8, head out. Recovering, Unkar
watches her go with dark eyes. He picks up a communicator:

UNKAR
Follow the girl and get that droid.
He SLAMS the service window door SHUT.

INT. STAR DESTROYER HOLDING CELL - DAY

The cell door WHOOSHES OPEN -- a STORMTROOPER enters. Poe
remains shackled, worse for wear. A TROOPER GUARD here.

STORMTROOPER
Ren wants the prisoner.
TIGHT ON POE, in pain, drained, as the Guard unshackles him.

INT. STAR DESTROYER CORRIDOR - DAY

An exhausted, handcuffed Poe is walked down the corridor by
the Stormtrooper, who holds a blaster at Poe's body.

STORMTROOPER
Turn here.
Poe turns into a narrow passageway --

INT. STAR DESTROYER NARROW PASSAGEWAY - DAY

Heading down the narrow hall the Stormtrooper stops Poe.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

STORMTROOPER
Listen carefully: you do exactly as
I say, I can get you out of here.

POE

(COMING TO)
If -- what--?
The Stormtrooper pulls off his helmet: IT IS FN-2187.

FN-2187
This is a rescue, I'm helping you
escape. Can you fly a TIE fighter?

POE
You with the Resistance--?!

FN-2187
What?

(THAT'S CRAZY)
No no no! I'm breaking you out.
Can you fly a TIE fighter?

POE
I can fly anything. Why, why are
you helping me?

FN-2187
Because it's the right thing to do.

POE
(it hits him)
You need a pilot.

FN-2187
I need a pilot.
And Poe, seeing this is for real, smiles a hero's smile.

POE
We're gonna do this.

FN-2187
(unsure but hopeful)
... Yeah?

INT. STAR DESTROYER HANGAR - DAY

WIDE SHOT ESTABLISHING the hangar. Find FN-2187, again
masked, walking with Poe. By all appearances he's escorting
a prisoner. A group of OFFICERS passes in the opposite
direction.

FN-2187
Okay, stay calm, stay calm.

POE
I am calm.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

FN-2187
I'm talking to myself.

(BEAT)
Not yet. Okay, go. This way.
FN-2187 walks quickly toward the far wall -- Poe follows --
up the stairs to a two-man SPECIAL FORCES TIE FIGHTER --

INT. TIE FIGHTER - DAY

FN-2187 and Poe (wincing, sore) drop into the back-to-back
cockpit. FN-2187 pulls off his helmet as Poe removes his
cuffs and jacket, fires up the ship with excitement.

POE
I always wanted to fly one of these
things. Can ya shoot?

FN-2187
Blasters, I can!

POE
Okay, same principal! Use the toggle
on the left to switch between
missiles, cannons, and mag pulse --
use the site on the right to aim,
triggers to fire!

FN-2187
This is very complicated
FWOOOOOOM! The TIE FIGHTER LURCHES FORWARD --

POE
I can fix this.

INT. HANGAR SIX CONTROL ROOM - DAY

WIDE: see the ship STRUGGLE TO RISE, CABLES connected to it --
PULL BACK FAST to REVEAL we're inside the main control room.

STAR DESTROYER TECHNICIAN
We have an unsanctioned departure
from bay two.
WHIP TO a FIRST ORDER COLONEL, who responds:

FIRST ORDER COLONEL
Alert General Hux and stop that
fighter.

INT. STAR DESTROYER HANGAR - DAY

The TIE Fighter LIFTS OFF from the bay, rips CHARGING cables!
Stormtroopers UNPACK and aim MEGABLASTERS.

INT. TIE FIGHTER - DAY

FN-2187 opens fire.

INT. STAR DESTROYER HANGAR - DAY

FN-2187 TEARS UP PARKED TIE FIGHTERS and GUN EMPLACEMENTS
WITH WELL-AIMED, STRATEGIC LASER BLASTS! Hits the CONTROL

ROOM!

INT. HANGAR SIX CONTROL ROOM - DAY

THE WINDOWS ARE BLOWN IN BY LASER BLASTS!

INT. TIE FIGHTER COCKPIT - DAY

POE
I got it!

EXT. STAR DESTROYER - DAY

The TIE Fighter blasts from the ship --

INT. TIE FIGHTER - DAY

Poe pilots -- amazed, almost enjoying it.

POE
Woooahhh! This thing really moves.
All right, we gotta take out as many
cannons as we can or we're not gonna
get very far!

FN-2187
All right!

POE
I'm gonna get us in position, just
stay sharp!

EXT. STAR DESTROYER - DAY

The TIE Fighter ARCS BACK, DIVES THROUGH THE OPENING BETWEEN
THE LEVELS OF THE MASSIVE SHIP, then FLIES DOWN AND BACK,
along the ship's belly --

INT. TIE FIGHTER - DAY

Poe flies toward the CANONS --

POE
Up ahead! Up ahead! You see it?
I've got us dead centered. It's a
clean shot.

FN-2187
Okay, got it.
FN-2187 gets a target, FIRES!

EXT. STAR DESTROYER - DAY

LASERS BLAST from the TIE Fighter -- A SERIES OF CANNONS
EXPLODE! Our TIE Fighter SLICES THROUGH the debris!

INT. TIE FIGHTER - DAY

FN-2187 YELLS in celebration:

FN-2187
YES! You see that?! DID YOU SEE

THAT?

POE
I saw it! Hey, what's your name?

FN-2187

FN-2187!
Poe reacts, this tells him volumes about FN-2187's history.

POE
FN-whaa?

FN-2187
That's the only name they ever gave
me!

POE
Well I ain't using it! FN, huh?
Finn. I'm gonna call you Finn!
That all right?
Even in the madness, Finn can't suppress his smile.

FINN
"Finn." Yeah, "Finn", I like that!
I like that!

POE
I'm Poe. Poe Dameron.

FINN
Good to meet you, Poe!

POE
Good to meet you too, Finn!

INT. STAR DESTROYER MAIN BRIDGE - DAY

General Hux looks over the shoulder of LIEUTENANT MITAKA, at
a console.

LIEUTENANT MITAKA
Sir, they've taken out our turbolasers--

GENERAL HUX
Use the ventral cannons.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

LIEUTENANT MITAKA
Yes, sir. Bringing them online --

KYLO REN (O.S.)
General Hux. Is it the Resistance
pilot?
Hux turns: Kylo Ren enters fast, looms large, angry.

GENERAL HUX
Yes, and he had help.

(VEXED)
From one of our own.
PUSH IN ON REN as Hux says:

GENERAL HUX (CONT'D)
We're checking the registers now to
identify which Stormtrooper it was.

KYLO REN
... The one from the village. FN-

2187.
Hux is unnerved that Ren knows -- he chalks it up to Ren's
Force ability. Kylo Ren heads off.

LIEUTENANT MITAKA
Sir. Ventral cannons hot.

GENERAL HUX
Fire.

EXT. STAR DESTROYER - DAY

Massive WARHEAD LAUNCHERS SPIN and FIRE BLASTS toward the
TIE fighter, which flies EVASIVE MANEUVERS -- most blasts
hit the DEBRIS from the TURBOLASER DESTRUCTION.
The TIE fighter then PULLS A BIG TURN, BACK TOWARD JAKKU,

THE SANDY PLANET WHERE POE LEFT BB-8.

INT. TIE FIGHTER - DAY

POE
One's coming towards you. My right,
your left. Do you see it?

FINN
Hold on! I see it!

POE
Nice shot.
Finn looks up suddenly in alarm --

FINN
Where are you going?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

POE
We're going back to Jakku. That's
where.

FINN
No no no! We can't go back to Jakku!
We need to get outta this system!
NEAR-MISS LASER BLASTS as Poe pilots aggressively.

POE
I got to get to my droid before the
First Order does!

FINN
What - a droid?!

POE
That's right. He's a BB unit! Orange
and white: one of a kind.

FINN
I don't care what color he is! No
droid can be that important!

POE
This one is, pal.

FINN
We need to get as far away from the
First Order as we can! We go back
to Jakku, we die!

POE
That droid's got a map that leads
straight to Luke Skywalker!

FINN
Oh, you gotta be kidding me!!! I--
Suddenly BAM! THEY ARE HIT!

EXT. TIE FIGHTER - DAY

The TIE FIGHTER SPARKS AND SMOKES, SPIRALING out of control
toward the surface of Jakku!

INT. STAR DESTROYER MAIN BRIDGE - DAY

Captain Phasma and General Hux stand before a holographic
projection detailing FN-2187's service records.

CAPTAIN PHASMA
FN-2187 reported to my division, was
evaluated and sent to Reconditioning.

GENERAL HUX
No prior signs of non-conformity?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

CAPTAIN PHASMA
This was his first offense.
A technician checks her readings, reports to General Hux.

TECHNICIAN #1
General. They've been hit.

GENERAL HUX
Destroyed?

TECHNICIAN #1

(GETTING READINGS)
Disabled. They were headed back to
Jakku -- the fighter's projected to
crash in the Goazon badlands.

GENERAL HUX
They were going back for the droid --
send a squad to the wreckage.

EXT. JAKKU DESERT - DAY

TIGHT ON FINN'S FACE: His EYES OPEN. He goes from unconscious
to terrified, fast. He sits up, looks around. CUT BACK
WIDE: he sits in the middle of an EPIC DESERT, DUNES FOREVER.
A BLACK CHUTE blows in the wind behind him, scattered debris.
Then he sees, over distant dunes, RISING BLACK SMOKE. He
gets up -- moves toward it, calling out:

FINN
Poe! Poe!
Finn scrambles over the massive dune to the TIE FIGHTER,
SMOKING AND ON FIRE, small debris around it. He thinks he
sees POE'S ARM -- he pulls on it, but it's JUST POE'S JACKET.
He throws that off and tries to find a way in -- even a way
to LOOK INSIDE, but the smoke and heat make it impossible.

FINN (CONT'D)
Poe!!! POE!
Suddenly the ship BEGINS TO SINK -- like it's being CONSUMED
INTO QUICKSAND -- Finn is slipping in too --

FINN (CONT'D)

POE!!! POE!!!
It becomes clear fast: if Finn doesn't get away, he's gonna
get sucked in too! So Finn scampers away from the TIE FIGHTER
as it SINKS INTO THE SAND! We're in the Sinking Fields. A
few moments and IT'S GONE.
Finn's out of breath. Horrified. Then A GIANT EXPLOSION
ERUPTS FROM below, SENDING SAND AND DEBRIS EVERYWHERE!
Finn sees this, disoriented, scared, exhausted and defeated.
And all alone.

EXT. DESERT - DAY

ENDLESS DUNES BEHIND HIM, Finn walks, removing pieces of his
Stormtrooper gear, using Poe's FLIGHT JACKET for shade.

EXT. DESERT - DAY

Exhausted, Finn continues his trek across the endless, sandy
nothingness.

EXT. DESERT - DAY

Finn, parched and losing hope, he walks to the edge of a
massive dune, looks out into the epic valley below. Miles
ahead: NIIMA OUTPOST.

INT. STAR DESTROYER - BRIDGE - DAY

General Hux and Kylo Ren walk the length of the bridge.

GENERAL HUX
Supreme Leader Snoke was explicit.
Capture the droid if we can, but
destroy it if we must.

KYLO REN
How capable are your soldiers,
General?

GENERAL HUX

(WITH VITRIOL)
I won't have you question my methods.

KYLO REN
They're obviously skilled at
committing high treason. Perhaps
Leader Snoke should consider using a
clone army.

GENERAL HUX

(YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH)
My men are exceptionally trained --
programmed from birth--

KYLO REN
Then they should have no problem
retrieving the droid. Unharmed.

GENERAL HUX
Careful, Ren. That your "personal
interests" not interfere with orders
from Leader Snoke.

KYLO REN
I want that map. For your sake, I
suggest you get it.
Ren heads off. Hux hates him.

EXT. NIIMA OUTPOST - DAY

Sun-scorched and exhausted, Finn stumbles out of the desert
into the Outpost. In a heatstroke daze he moves past enormous
old SHIP PARTS, MERCHANTS, SCAVENGERS and TENTED STALLS.

FINN
Water... water... water..
He sees a WATER TROUGH where a filthy, slobbering hippo-like
creature (a HAPPABORE) DRINKS. Finn moves to it, uses his
hands to desperately DRINK the filthy water. After a couple
swallows he SPITS IT OUT, disgusted.

FINN (CONT'D)
-- Awgh, GAH!
But he's parched and immediately RETURNS FOR MORE.
ACROSS THE MARKETPLACE, REY kneels with an emphatically

BEEPING BB-8.
Just then, TWO of UNKAR'S THUGS approach and stop her. One
clearly tells her that they're taking the droid. BB-8 reacts
nervously as Rey resists them -- one pulls a SACK over BB-8
while the other grabs Rey's arm -- in the tussle, Rey KNOCKS
OVER METAL URNS for sale --
Finn, still drinking, is PUSHED OVER by the happabore. He
falls to the ground, then turns to look when he HEARS
CRASHING. He sees, through the tents, REY FIGHTING.
He moves UP CLOSER to help this young woman being accosted --
but he STOPS when Rey begins to FIGHT BACK -- scrappy and
feral, she KICKS, BITES and HITS. Finn is taken aback as
she DEFEATS the attackers, who hit the sand, hard.
Finn just watches, stunned.
Rey moves to the COVERED BB-8 -- PULLS THE SACK OFF OF HIM.
Finn cannot believe his eyes. IT'S POE'S DROID!
Rey talks to BB-8, who, nervous now, looks around and...
SEES FINN! BB-8 STARTS BEEPING like crazy. Then something
insane happens: REY LOOKS AT FINN.

REY
(To BB-8) Who? Him?
Finn is confused. Rey stands, staring at Finn, defiant.
Finn can feel trouble coming -- and Rey begins CHARGING AT
HIM, quarterstaff in hand.
Realizing he's the target, Finn begins to RUN -- away from
her, through the tent marketplace. Rey goes after him -- he
turns a corner -- then another -- then BAM! She's got
ahead of him and SLAMS HIM TO THE GROUND WITH HER STAFF!
Finn is on his back, out of breath and freaked out. She
holds the staff on him threateningly:

REY
What's your hurry, thief?

FINN
What--?! Thief?
BB-8 ROLLS UP FAST, MOVES TO FINN -- a WELDING ARM TELESCOPES

FROM HIS BODY AND SHOCKS FINN!

FINN (CONT'D)
OW! HEY! What?!

REY
The jacket! This droid says you
stole it!

FINN
I've had a pretty messed up day,
alright?! So I'd appreciate it you
stop accusing me -- OW!!!
(BB-8 has ZAPPED him

AGAIN)

STOP IT!

REY
Where'd you get it? It belongs to
his master.
Finn looks at her -- then the agitated droid, Finn's mind
racing. He puts it all together. Frustrated, but sighs
heavily, needing to respond somehow. So he makes a hard
decision: to tell the truth.

FINN
It belonged to Poe Dameron. That
was his name, right?
Rey and BB-8 react, surprised and wanting more.

FINN (CONT'D)
He was captured... by the First Order!
I helped him escape but our ship
crashed.

(RELIVING IT)
Poe didn't make it.
(sees BB-8 is sad,

ROLLS OFF)
Look, I tried to help him. I'm
sorry...
BB-8 heads off to the side, depressed. Rey watches BB-8,
then considers Finn again. Says, a bit impressed:

REY
So you're with the Resistance?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
Finn's mind races again. He makes an easy decision: to lie.

FINN
Obviously. Yes. I am. I'm with
the Resistance, yeah.

(WHISPERS)
I'm with the Resistance.
Rey lowers her staff, Finn stands. Rey studies him:

REY
I've never met a Resistance fighter
before.

FINN
Well, this is what we look like.
Some of us. Others look different.

REY
BB-8 says he's on a secret mission,
he has to get back to your base.

FINN
Apparently he's carrying a map that
leads to Luke Skywalker, and
everyone's after it.
She turns to him, concerned, curious. And asks:

REY
Luke Skywalker? I thought he was a
myth.
Just then BB-8 BEEPS MADLY at something he sees.

REY (CONT'D)
What is it?
Rey moves to him, peeks around a tent corner. Now Finn moves
to see: at a distance, TWO STORMTROOPERS TALKING TO UNKAR'S
THUGS -- who POINT THEIR WAY!
Finn urgently grabs her hand and heads for the tents:

REY (CONT'D)
(re: her hand)
What are you doing?!

FINN
Come on!
Suddenly LASER BLASTS RIP PAST THEM, HIT THE CLEANING UNIT,
SPEWING STEAM! Rey SCREAMS -- MORE BLASTS as they run!

EXT. NIIMA OUTPOST - DAY

Finn and Rey holding hands, the three race, ZIGZAGGING through
a maze of tents:

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

FINN
Come on, BB-8!

REY
Let go of me!

FINN
No, we gotta move!

REY
(pulls her hand back)
I know how to run without you holding
my hand! BB-8 stay close! This
way!
Now Finn and BB-8 follow Rey -- ANOTHER BLAST just missing
them! They disappear through a tent.
TRACK FAST WITH STORMTROOPERS, through the tent maze. They
come out of a tent, HAVING MOMENTARILY LOST THEIR TARGET.

STORMTROOPER
Call in the air strike!
REY, FINN AND BB-8 duck into another tent:

INT. NIIMA OUTPOST - TENT - DAY

Rey, Finn and BB-8 move through RUSTY WARES and take cover.
Quiet, urgent:

REY
They're shooting at both of us!

FINN
Yeah, they saw you with me! You're
marked!

REY
Well, thanks for that!

FINN
I'm not the one who chased you down
with a stick! Does anyone have
blasters around here?!

REY

(TO BB-8)
Are you okay?
Finn QUIETS HER WITH A GESTURE, HEARING SOMETHING.
PUSH IN ON FINN -- whatever he hears alarms him greatly --
he GRABS HER HAND AGAIN -- PULLS HER AWAY --

REY (CONT'D)
Stop taking my hand!

EXT. NIIMA OUTPOST - TENT - DAY

Finn pulls Rey from the tent -- BB-8 FOLLOWS --
As they race from the tent a TIE FIGHTER SCREAMS INTO VIEW

FROM BEHIND THE TENTS! A SECOND FOLLOWS CLOSE BEHIND. IT

FIRES AT THEM -- A MASSIVE BLAST SENDS REY AND FINN FLYING --

BB-8 ROLLING!

WIDE SHOT: TWO TIE FIGHTERS SCREAM OVER the town, the
EXPLOSION throws sand and debris fifty feet into the air.
Rey is thrown HARD to the ground -- she is rattled, truly
afraid. Then she turns: FINN lies nearby, unconscious.
Suddenly afraid, she scrambles to him, rolls him over. BB-8
ROLLS OVER, BEEPING in concern.

REY
Hey!
As Finn comes to, he sees her. Through his fog:

FINN
-- Are you okay?
And that very question touches her -- having never in her
life been asked it.

REY
Yeah.
(extends her hand)
Follow me.
Grateful, Finn takes it. They're off.
LOCALS run amok as TIE fighters DIVE BOMB. REY, Finn and BB-

8 SPRINT, BLASTER EXPLOSIONS GET CLOSER AND CLOSER!

EXT. NIIMA OUTPOST - SPACEPORT - DAY

Rey, STAFF strapped to her back, leads the way as she, Finn
and BB-8 race into the spaceport. Finn glances back: TWO
TIE FIGHTERS BANK their return. They YELL:

FINN
We can't outrun them!
Rey POINTS to a parked, four-engine SHIP ahead:

REY
We might in that quad-jumper!

FINN
We need a pilot!

REY
We've got one!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

FINN
You?!
(then, indicates one

OFF-CAMERA)
What about that ship?

REY
That one's garbage!
They run for the JUMPER but the passing TIE FIGHTERS FIRE AT
IT, BLOWING IT APART IN A HUGE FLAME BALL! Rey, coming to a
quick stop, RIGHT UP TO CAMERA:

REY (CONT'D)
The garbage'll do!
She turns and runs back -- Finn and BB-8 follow as they all
run toward the piece of junk -- and we see it for the first
time: THE MILLENNIUM FALCON!
TIE fighters BANK AROUND AGAIN. Finn, Rey and BB-8 run up
the ramp of the semi-tarped Falcon.

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - DAY

Finn, Rey and BB-8 enter the ship -- she hits a control and
the door DESCENDS CLOSED as she races to the cockpit:

REY
Gunner position's down there!

FINN

(CLIMBS DOWN)
Y'ever fly this thing?

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - COCKPIT - DAY

Rey tosses her staff aside, jumps into the pilot's seat,
frantically flips switches. BB-8 rolls in behind her as the
ENGINES WHINE to life:

REY
No! This ship hasn't been flown in
years!

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - GUNNER POSITION - DAY

Finn buckles into the gunner seat -- to his shock the SEAT
WHIPS TO THE LEFT, startling him -- he grabs the controls to
steady himself.

FINN
Great.
(reacts to seat)
Whoa! I can do this, I can do this--

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - COCKPIT - DAY

Rey bucks herself up. Doesn't believe her quick words:

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

REY
I can do this, I can do this--
Rey pulls the yoke:

THE FALCON ENGINES LIGHT UP BRIGHT!

EXT. NIIMA OUTPOST - SPACEPORT - DAY

The FALCON RISES, WILDLY -- ITS TARPS FLY OFF -- THE SHIP

SPINS AND TILTS, SLAMS INTO AND CRUMBLES THE TOWN'S ARCHWAY!
From the tents, Unkar Plutt runs out, SCREAMS:

UNKAR

HEY!!!! THAT'S MIIIIIIINE!!!
The Falcon BLASTS AWAY, two TIE FIGHTERS chase it, fast!

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - DAY

Rey pilots, headed for the sky!
Finn SWINGS into frame, trying to work the GUNS.

FINN
Whoa! Hey! Oh! Stay low! Stay
low!

REY

WHAT?

FINN
Stay low! It confuses their tracking!
For a crazy instant Rey LETS GO OF THE YOKE, stretches to
the co-pilot controls -- THE FALCON CANTS!

REY
BB-8, hold on!
Rey finally REACHES the switches, returns to the yoke,
stabilizing the ship, afraid of this next move.

REY

I'M GOING LOW!!!

EXT. DESERT - DAY

BEHIND THE FALCON as it DRAMATICALLY BANKS AT AN UPWARD ARC,
UPSIDE-DOWN, then SWOOPS PERILOUSLY LOW across the sand.
Two TIE FIGHTERS SCREAM past us!

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - DAY

In the cylindrical corridor, BB-8 ROLLS TO THE CEILING!
Rey looks back for a flash as the TIE Fighters pass -- They
are ROCKED BY A BLAST!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

REY
What are you doing back there? Are
you ever gonna fire back?!

Finn flicks switches -- The GUN TARGETING LIGHTS UP:

FINN
I'm working on it! Are the shields
up?
Rey strains, reaching for something in the co-pilot seat.

REY
Not so easy without a co-pilot!
Finn struggles with the gun controls and SWEEPING CHAIR:

FINN
Try sitting in this thing!
Finn finally FIRES BACK at the two TIE FIGHTERS!

EXT. DESERT - DAY

Finn's shots MISS. The TIE FIGHTERS ARC BACK IN PURSUIT and
SCREAM PAST US toward the Falcon! Both TIES FIRING!

INT. TIE FIGHTER COCKPIT - DAY

The BLACK-SUITED PILOT FIRES at the Falcon.

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - GUNNER POSITION - DAY

The Falcon is ROCKED by another BLAST!

FINN
We need cover, quick!

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - COCKPIT - DAY

Rey HITS SWITCHES, pilots the best she can:

REY
We're about to get some!

(TO HERSELF)
I hope.

EXT. DESERT - DAY

The Falcon speeds through a ROCK FORMATION, GRAZING THE ROCK,
TAKING OUT A CHUNK -- the two TIE Fighters in pursuit, FIRING!
The Falcon BANKS SO HARD, the edge of the ship RIPS A LINE
IN THE SAND as it turns, REVEALING THE SHIP GRAVEYARD AHEAD.

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - DAY

BB-8 EXTENDS MAGNETIC CABLES to brace himself in a corridor.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
Finn continues to fire at the TIE fighters, narrowly missing
them.

FINN
Damn it!
Rey maneuvers the ship deeper into the graveyard.

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - GUNNER POSITION - DAY

Finn SWOOPS into frame, FIRES --

FINN
Come on... come on...
-- HITS AND SHATTERS the TIE FIGHTER!

REY
Nice shot!

FINN
I'm getting pretty good at this!

EXT. DESERT - SPACESHIP GRAVEYARD - DAY

The TIE FIGHTER CRASHES amid the DEBRIS, THREE SCAVENGERS
instantly there to consume the new bounty.
The Falcon, pursued by the ONE REMAINING TIE FIGHTER, slaloms
through the MASSIVE WRECKAGE, GRAZING THE OLD SHIPS as she
goes, pieces flying.
The TIE FIGHTER FIRES -- HITTING THE FALCON'S LOWER TURRET,

SPINNING IT, JAMMING IT INTO FORWARD POSITION!

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - GUNNER POSITION - DAY

ALARMS BLARE --

FINN
The cannon's stuck in forward
position, I can't move it! You gotta
lose 'em!

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - COCKPIT - DAY

The ship is HIT AGAIN -- afraid, Rey's mind races as she
scans the area -- and gets an idea.

REY
Get ready!

FINN
Okay! For what?

EXT. DESERT - SPACESHIP GRAVEYARD - DAY

Rey pilots the ship up AND INTO THE REAR OF A CRASHED SUPER
STAR DESTROYER! The final TIE FIGHTER FOLLOWS!

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - DAY

Finn peers out the window, realizing where they are:

FINN

ARE WE REALLY DOING THIS?!

INT. WRECKED SUPER STAR DESTROYER - DAY

The two ships slalom debris inside the giant ship -- the
Falcon GRAZING ONE SIDE, THEN THE OTHER, SPITTING SPARKS!

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - DAY

Rey, scared, girds herself as she quickly runs out of space
in the wreck.

REY
Oh no!
Just as the TIE PILOT GETS A LOCK,
Rey YANKS THE YOKE --

EXT. DESERT - SPACESHIP GRAVEYARD - DAY

The Falcon makes a HARD RIGHT TURN out of the Destroyer.
Rey then CUTS POWER AND FLIPS THE SHIP SO BACK FACES FRONT!
FINN CAN NOW SEE THE PURSUING TIE FIGHTER! He FIRES,

DESTROYING IT!
REY GUNS THE ENGINES again, FLIPS THE FALCON and FLIES AWAY
as the TIE FIGHTER CRASHES!

FINN
Whooo!
The Falcon ROARS OFF, victorious, leaving the ship graveyard
and disappearing into the clouds.

EXT. SPACE - DAY

The Falcon ROARS from Jakku off to space.

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - COCKPIT - DAY

Rey excitedly unbuckles her seatbelt and hurries back.

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - CORRIDOR - DAY

Rey races past BB-8, who is RETRACTING his safety restraints.
Finn, adrenalized, climbs from the turret, meets Rey in the
corridor, the LOUNGE in the b.g..

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: REY
FINN Good shooting! Thanks! I--
Now that was some I don't know! -- I've
flying! How did you flown some ships but I've
do that?! No one never left the planet!
trained you? No one? Your last shot was dead
That was amazing! on. You got him with one
(beat) blast!
You set me up for it! (laughs)
(cocky) It was perfect!
That was pretty good.
They're just staring at each other now, seeing something odd
and weird and wonderful -- two people totally inexperienced
in joy and camaraderie.
Bb-8 BEEPS something urgent -- she turns to the droid, kneels.

REY (CONT'D)
You're ok. He's with the Resistance.
He's going to get you home. We both
will.

(TO FINN)
I don't know your name.

FINN
Finn. What's yours.

REY
I'm Rey.
BB-8 looks at him: really? Finn is reminded: HE'S LIED TO
HER. She looks at Finn with a sweet smile.

FINN
Rey...
But before Finn can say anything they JUMP: across the lounge,
STEAM BURSTS from under the grating.

REY
Help me with this! Quick!
They hurry to the grating, PULL IT UP together. BB-8 rolls
over, watches.

FINN
Whoa! What's going on?
She goes below as BB-8 BEEPS concern.

EXT. SPACE - DAY

The First Order Star Destroyer above Jakku.

INT. STAR DESTROYER BRIDGE - DAY

Lieutenant Mitaka moves to Ren, who looks out across the
star field. Mitaka swallows, uneasy with his task.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

LIEUTENANT MITAKA
Sir. We were unable to acquire the
droid on Jakku.
Ren turns to look at him, he says nothing.

LIEUTENANT MITAKA (CONT'D)
It escaped capture aboard a stolen
Corellian YT model freighter.

KYLO REN
The droid... stole a freighter?

LIEUTENANT MITAKA
Not exactly, sir. It had help.
Ren says nothing. Which says everything. Mitaka sweats.

LIEUTENANT MITAKA (CONT'D)
We have no confirmation, but we
believe FN-2187 may have been helped
in the escape--
Ren IGNITES HIS LIGHTSABER, TURNS AND SLASHES AT THE CONSOLE
BEHIND HIM! HOLD ON Mitaka, who reacts, looks away -- winces.
The horrible SOUNDS of Ren's rage continues. Finally Mitaka
looks up. The metallic wall behind Ren is RIPPED with glowing
scars.

KYLO REN
Anything else?
Mitaka hates to say the following, but:

LIEUTENANT MITAKA
The two were accompanied by a girl.
Ren reaches out -- Mitaka is suddenly, violently PULLED TOWARD
REN, into his black glove:

KYLO REN
What girl?

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - LOUNGE AREA - DAY

Rey's head POPS up from under the grating, surrounded by
STEAM. An EMERGENCY ALARM BLARES.

REY
It's the motivator! Grab me a Harris
wrench -- check in there!
As he checks a storage box, she disappears down below,
overwhelmed by the technical issues --

FINN
How bad is it?!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

REY
If we wanna live, not good!
BB-8 watches as Finn searches A SELECTION OF TOOLS:

FINN
They're hunting for us now, we gotta
get outta this system!
Rey re-emerges, Finn hands her the wrench.

REY
BB-8 said the location of the
Resistance Base is "need to know" --
if I'm taking you there, I need to
know!

FINN
(Throws a tool)
This?
She catches it and goes under again, leaving Finn and BB-8
alone. He contemplates telling her the truth. This is his
moment. But instead he knees to BB-8, says quietly, urgently:

FINN (CONT'D)
You gotta tell us where the base is.

(BB-8 BEEPS)
I don't speak that. Alright, between
us, I'm not with the Resistance,
okay?
(BB-8 backs up)
-- I'm just trying to get away from
the First Order -- but you tell us
where your base is, I'll get there
first -- deal?!
(BB-8 COCKS his head)
Droid, please.
Rey pops up again:

REY
Pilex driver, hurry!
Finn moves for the tool.

REY (CONT'D)
So where's your base?

FINN
(searching, to BB-8)
Go on BB-8, tell her.

(QUIETLY)
Please!
She and Finn look to BB-8 -- who considers the whole
situation, then BEEPS.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

REY
The Ileenium system?
Finn hands her the tool, surprised but thrilled -- Rey
disappears below again.

FINN
Yeah, the Ileenium system, that's
the one -- get us there as fast as
you can.
A smiling Finn gives BB-8 a THUMBS UP. BB-8 quickly extends
his WELDING TORCH and TURNS IT UPWARD, then retracts it.

REY
I'll drop you two at Ponemah Terminal.
I need the bonding tape, hurry!

FINN
(searching for tape)
What about you?

REY
I gotta get back to Jakku!

FINN
(loses his mind)
BACK TO JAK--?! Why does everyone
always wanna go back to Jakku?! !

REY
No, that one! No. No. The one I'm
pointing to! No. NO. NO. If we
don't patch it up, the propulsion
tank will overflow and flood the
ship with poisonous gas!
Bb-8 has moved to Finn -- TIPS HIS HEAD, shows him the tool.
He throws her the tape, she disappears below:

FINN
This?

REY
Yes!

FINN
Hey. Rey. You're a pilot -- you
can fly anywhere! Why go back?!
You got a family? You got a
boyfriend? Cute boyfriend?
The STEAM and ALARM STOP as Rey pops up, annoyed:

REY
None of your business, THAT'S WHY!
But then: ALL THE SHIP POWER GOES OUT. BB-8 is nervous.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

FINN
... That can't be good.

REY

(HEADS OFF)
-- No it can't be --

FINN FOLLOWS REY TO:

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - COCKPIT - DAY

They plop into the seats, in a panic. She checks the dead

INSTRUMENTATION PANEL:

REY
Someone's locked onto us -- all
controls are overridden.
Finn quickly, awkwardly climbs up, looks out.

REY (CONT'D)
Get off. Get off! See anything?

FINN
... Oh no.

EXT. SPACE - DAY

The Millennium Falcon, powerless, is a sitting duck.
SOMETHING EPIC appears from ABOVE: THE ANTENNA ARRAY IS THE

FIRST WE SEE OF A MASSIVE FREIGHTER, ITS GIANT HANGAR OPEN

LIKE A HUGE MOUTH WHICH SWALLOWS THE FALCON LIKE A WHALE!

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - COCKPIT - DAY

Finn PLOPS into his seat, horrified.

FINN
It's the First Order.

REY
What do we do-- there must be

SOMETHING --
Finn's mind races -- then:

FINN
You said poisonous gas --

REY
-- Yeah, but I fixed that --

FINN
Can you unfix it?
Rey stares at him -- and gets his plan! They head off --

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - LOUNGE AREA - DAY

The GAS MASKS hanging in the lounge are GRABBED.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
Finn and Rey, gas masks on, quickly climb into the open
grating area.

REY
C'mon BB-8.
They help BB-8 down, too: they both struggle like crazy, he
weighs a TON.

FINN
I got it.

REY
Oooh...

FINN
I'm okay. BB-8 get off me...

UNDER THE GRATING
Finn pulls the grating over them as Rey works on the controls.

REY
You think this'll work on the
Stormtroopers?

FINN
Yeah. Their masks filter out smoke,
not toxins.
LIGHTS COME ON! SOUND of the SHIP RAMP LOWERING! Finn PULLS
THE GRATING CLOSED as he says:

FINN (CONT'D)
Hurry!

REY
I'm hurrying!
Suddenly the FALCON DOOR OPENS -- AND HAN SOLO AND CHEWBACCA
BOARD THE FALCON, weapons at the ready. PUSH IN ON THEM,
ready for combat, operating silently, with hand signals only.

HAN
Chewie, we're home.
Han gives Chewie a nod to check out the ship. Chewie heads
off one way, Han in another.
The grating above LIFTS OFF -- hands in surrender, they look
up at Han, who's training his blaster on them, threatening.
They're SCARED.

HAN (CONT'D)
Where are the others? Where's the
pilot?

REY
...I'm the pilot...

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

HAN
You?
Chewie MOAN-TALKS. Rey responds to him --

REY
No, it's true: we're the only ones
on board.

FINN
You can understand that thing?

HAN
And "that thing" can understand you
too, so watch it. Come on outta
there.
They climb up -- BB-8 uses his magnetic arm to quickly pull
himself out.

HAN (CONT'D)
Where'd you get this ship?

REY
Niima Outpost.

HAN
Jakku?! That junkyard?

FINN
Thank you! Junkyard!

HAN

(TO CHEWIE)
Told ya we should've double-checked
the Western Reaches!

(TO REY)
Who had it, Ducain?

REY
I stole it from Unkar Plutt. He
stole it from the Irving Boys, who
stole it from Ducain.

HAN
Who stole it from me! Well, you
tell him Han Solo just stole back
the Millennium Falcon for good.
Han walks away, takes in the ship: it's his again. Doesn't
see that Rey is awed. His back to all of them, he smiles.
Chewie responds as Han heads toward the cockpit.

REY
This is the Millennium Falcon? You're
Han Solo?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

HAN
I used to be.

FINN
Han Solo? The Rebellion General?

REY
No, the smuggler!

FINN

(TO CHEWIE)
Wasn't he a war hero?!
Chewie replies: "Yeah, I guess, kinda..." Rey calls out:

REY
This is the ship that made the Kessel
Run in fourteen parsecs...!

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - COCKPIT - SAME

Han enters the cockpit.

HAN
Twelve! Fourteen.
A moment of private joy. Then he sees something that ANNOYS

HIM:

HAN (CONT'D)
Hey! Some moof-milker put a
compressor on the ignition line!
Han moves to the corridor.

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - LOUNGE AREA - DAY

REY
Unkar Plutt did. I thought it was a
mistake too, puts too much stress on

THE HYPERDRIVE--

HAN

(OVERLAPPING HER)
-- Stress on the hyperdrive--
(who is she? Then:)
Chewie, throw 'em in a pod, we'll
drop them at the nearest inhabited
planet.

REY
Wait! No -- we need your help!

HAN
My help?

REY
This droid has to get to the
Resistance base as soon as possible!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

FINN
He's carrying a map to Luke Skywalker.
Yup: Han stops in his tracks.

FINN (CONT'D)
You are the Han Solo that fought
with the Rebellion. You knew him.
The mention of Luke has really hit Han. He turns to Finn.

HAN
Yeah, I knew him. I knew Luke.
Suddenly: a distant, METALLIC KA-CHUNK!

HAN (CONT'D)
Don't tell me a Rathtar's gotten

LOOSE--
Han hurries out -- they all follow, (Chewie, Rey, Finn, then
BB-8), Finn with WILD CONCERN:

FINN
Wait -- a what?! Did you just say
Rathtars? Hey!

INT. CARGO SHIP - HANGAR - DAY

The Falcon is parked in this giant freighter's hangar. Han
moves to a CONTROL PANEL, they all follow him.

FINN
You're not hauling Rathtars on this
freighter, are you?

HAN
I'm hauling Rathtars.
On the CONTROL PANEL: IMAGES ON SCREENS FROM ALL AROUND THE
SHIP. Including the EXTERIOR, where a TRANSPORT SHIP is
LANDING ON THE FREIGHTER. Han is fearful.

HAN (CONT'D)
Oh great. It's the Guavian Death
Gang -- they must've tracked us from
Nantoon.
Han heads off as:

REY
What's a Rathtar?

INT. CARGO SHIP - CARGO CONTAINER CORRIDOR - DAY

Han leads our group down a LONG NARROW HALL lined with cargo
containers.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: HAN
They're big and dangerous...

FINN
Y'ever heard of the Trillia Massacre?!

REY
No.

FINN
Good.
They turn a corner:

HAN
I got three of 'em going to King
Prana.

FINN
THREE?! How'd you get them on board?

HAN
I used to have a bigger crew.
Chewie GROAN-TALKS, concurring.

CUT TO: LOOKING UP AS A HATCH OPENS IN THE FLOOR. HAN AND

CO. ARE THERE.

HAN
Get below deck and stay there until
I say so -- don't even think about
taking the Falcon.

REY
What about BB-8?

HAN
He stays with me -- until I get rid
of the gang, then you can have him
back and be on your way.

FINN
What about the Rathtars... where are
you keeping them?
A TERRIFYING BAM: a GROTESQUE RATHTAR GIANT TONGUE SLAMS
into the CARGO CONTAINER window behind Finn, whose heart
stops.

HAN
There's one.

REY
What are you gonna do?

HAN
Same thing I always do: talk my way
out of it.

(CHEWIE MOAN-TALKS)
Yes, I do. Every time.

INT. CARGO SHIP - NARROW CORRIDOR - DAY

A PORTAL opens. The GUAVIAN DEATH GANG enters. One man in
a SUIT (BALA-TIK), and five SECURITY SOLDIERS in badass
UNIFORMS with ROUND-FACE HELMETS. They turn into and stop
at one end of the corridor. Han, Chewie and BB-8 forty feet
away in the middle of the long hall.

BALA-TIK
Han Solo. You are a dead man.
Han smiles innocently, friendly. BB-8 nervously looks back
and forth at the gang, and Han.

HAN
Bala-Tik. What's the problem?

BALA-TIK
The problem is we loaned you fifty
thousand for this job.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. CARGO SHIP - BELOW FLOOR GRATING - DAY

They look up, trying to get a view.

REY
Can you see them?

FINN
No.
They start crawling down the crawl space.

BALA-TIK
I heard you also borrowed fifty
thousand from Kanjiklub.

HAN
You know you can't trust those little
freaks! How long've we known each
other?
Rey and Finn arrive under the gang. They WHISPER:

REY
They have blasters...

FINN
A lot of 'em.
We RISE THROUGH THE FLOOR to see the GANG and Han and company
in the distance.

BALA-TIK
The question is how much longer will
we know each other? Not long. We
want our money back now.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

HAN
Ya think hunting Rathtars is cheap?
I spent that money.

BALA-TIK
Kanjiklub wants their investment
back, too.

HAN
I never made a deal with Kanjiklub!

BALA-TIK
Tell that to Kanjiklub.
The SOUND of a PORTAL OPENING. Han's face GOES WHITE as he
turns to the OTHER END OF THE CORRIDOR, where KANJIKLUB
MEMBERS APPEAR. A GANG in a MEDIEVAL BANDITO style.
Han smiles uncomfortably at the Kanjiklub members. Its
LEADER, TASU LEECH, out front. Han tries to play it off:

HAN
Tasu Leech. Good to see you.
Tasu speaks an alien language, we SUBTITLE:

TASU LEECH
Wrong again, Solo. It's over for
you.
Tasu COCKS HIS WEAPON, there for blood. BB-8 is nervous.
Finn and Rey react to the sounds of the new gang -- start
CRAWLING BACK the other way to see them.

HAN
Boys. You're both gonna get
what I promised! Have I ever
not delivered for you before?

BALA-TIK
Yeah.

TASU LEECH
Twice!
Han realizes he's right.

HAN
What was the second time?

BALA-TIK
Your game is old. There's no one in
the galaxy left for you to swindle.

TASU LEECH
Nowhere left for you to hide.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

BALA-TIK
That BB unit... the First Order is
looking for one just like it. And
two fugitives.
Finn and Rey SUDDENLY STOP CRAWLING, tense.
BB-8 hides behind Han's leg. PUSH IN ON Han as he realizes:
Finn and Rey are in real trouble.

HAN
First I've heard of it.
Below the grating, Finn and Rey look at each other, afraid.
Above, another Kanjiklubber (RAZOO QIN-FEE) says (SUBTITLED):

RAZOO QIN-FEE
Search the freighter.
One of the Kanjiklubbers begins moving down the corridor,
AIMING A FLASHLIGHT DOWN BELOW, searching for:
FINN AND REY, in a QUIET PANIC BELOW: THEY START CRAWLING
FAST in the opposite direction they came.
Rey crawls off fast, Finn follows. They quickly arrive at
a JUNCTION BOX AREA, Rey looking at the controls.

REY
Wait wait wait wait. If we close
the blast doors in that corridor, we
can trap both gangs!

FINN
Close the blast doors from here?

REY
Resetting the fuses should do it.
Rey begins RESETTING the FUSES, SPARKS shooting from them as
they do. Finn quickly joins in.
Rey and Finn FINISH resetting the fuses boxes. Rey smiles
optimistically. Finn looks hopeful too.
DOWN AN EMPTY ROW OF LARGE CONTAINERS, which OPEN -- and a
GIANT RATHTAR -- an ENORMOUS, FIERCE AND RAVENOUS LAND OCTOPUS --

SLITHERS OUT OF ITS CAGE!
BACK UP TOP as BANKS OF LIGHTS BEGIN GOING OFF, ONE BY ONE.
The GANGS look around.
Han's eyes go wide -- he gets it -- and it's bad. QUIETLY:

HAN
... I got a bad feeling about this...
Suddenly all the LIGHTS COME ON AGAIN -- even down below,
where Rey realizes it hasn't gone as planned.

REY
Oh no.

FINN
Oh no, what?

REY

(PALE)
Wrong fuses.

IN ANOTHER CORRIDOR, BACK WITH THE GANGS:

BALA-TIK
Kill them! And take the droid!
The gangs AIM THEIR WEAPONS JUST AS A RATHTAR APPEARS BEHIND

THE GUAVIAN DEATH GANG, GRABBING TWO MEMBERS! THE OTHERS
SCREAM AND RUN! The gang FIRES BACK -- BLASTS FLY!
Han and Chewie react, flinching -- then turn to Kanjiklub as
a RATHTAR APPEARS BEHIND THEM, ROARING DEAFENINGLY! The
Gang turns -- others run, FIRE AT IT.

INT. CARGO SHIP CORRIDOR A - DAY

Han, Chewie and BB-8 race down the hall -- A MEMBER OF THE
KANJIKLUB GANG comes around the corner. Han PUNCHES him
with one blow, throws him toward the Rathtar. They keep
steppin....

INT. CARGO SHIP - BELOW FLOOR GRATING - DAY

Rey and Finn hurriedly crawl through the space below decks.

FINN
This was a mistake!

REY
Huge!

INT. CARGO SHIP CORRIDOR A - DAY

Two Guavian Death Gang members run through the ship -- passing
Tasu Leech, who sees another Kanjiklub member down the
corridor -- who gets GRABBED BY A TENTACLE! Tasu tries to
help him, but he gets PULLED UP AND AWAY! Tasu hears a
distant terror-scream of a Rathtar, and runs the other way.
Other Kanjiklub members YELL at him to avoid that direction --
they all turn a corner -- a RATHTAR IS THERE AND GRABS THE
TWO OTHERS! Tasu FIRES at the beast and RUNS OFF -- and we
land on a FLOOR HATCH, which opens. Rey and Finn climb out,
quickly.

They turn a corridor --

REY
What do they look like?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
Another corner -- and GANG MEMBERS ARE BATTLING A HORRIBLE
RATHTAR! Rey COVERS HER MOUTH.

FINN
They look like that.
Finn yanks her away. They race around another corner -- a

RATHTAR IS THERE!

FINN (CONT'D)
This way!

REY
Are you sure?
They scream and run off -- but Finn is GRABBED, PULLED AWAY

FAST!

REY (CONT'D)

FINN!
But the Rathtar's fast and TURNS A CORNER, losing Rey --

FINN

REY!

INT. CARGO SHIP CORRIDOR E - DAY

TIGHT ON FINN as he's being yanked down the hall, SCREAMING
as he struggles to get loose!
Rey turns the corner -- Finn is gone -- nowhere to be seen.

REY

FINN!!!!
Without Finn, she is instantly distraught -- then she
realizes: SHE'S JUST PASSED A CONTROL PANEL! Her eyes light
up as she moves to it: a BANK OF VIDEO MONITORS OF THE SHIP --
and there's Finn, being dragged by a Rathtar toward an OPEN
BLAST DOOR. Rey's hand on the button, she waits... then

SLAMS THE BUTTON!

INT. CARGO SHIP CORRIDOR B - DAY

The BLAST DOOR INSTANTLY CLOSES ON ONE OF THE RATHTAR'S
TENTACLES! It SCREAMS IN PAIN, ITS SEVERED TENTACLE STILL
WRAPPED AROUND FINN'S LEG! Finn scrambles up, desperately
shaking the sticky tentacle off his leg!
Rey arrives, runs to Finn, beaming to see him alive -- he is
adrenaline-rushed, in shock:

REY
Finn!

FINN
It had me! But the door--!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

REY
That was lucky!
ANOTHER CORRIDOR - Finn and Rey run towards the Falcon.

INT. CARGO SHIP CORRIDOR D - DAY

Han, Chewie and BB-8 take cover, Han exchanging BLASTER FIRE
with GANG MEMBERS AT THE OTHER END OF THE HALL.

HAN
I got the door. Cover us!
Chewie GROAN-AGREES. Chewie FIRES DOWN THE HALL as Han
CROSSES THE CORRIDOR, BB-8 following nervously. As Chewie
exchanges blaster fire, Han works the controls.
THE HATCH OPENS (FALCON in the distance) -- just as CHEWIE
IS HIT IN THE SHOULDER BY ENEMY FIRE! He goes down with a

LOUD GROAN!

HAN (CONT'D)
Chewie! You okay?
Han GRABS CHEWIE'S BOWCASTER, FIRES at the DOOR CONTROLS,

BADASS!

HAN (CONT'D)
(looks at bowcaster)
Wow. Come on! Come on!

INT. CARGO SHIP HANGAR - DAY

Run with Finn and Rey as they turn into the hangar, toward
the Falcon. Han helps WOUNDED CHEWIE up the ramp, sees them.

REY
Han!
Finn and Rey race past BB-8 -- as they go up the ramp, Han
says to Rey:

HAN
You, close the door behind us!

(TO FINN)
You take care of Chewie!
Han and Rey race up the ramp as Finn heads up with Chewie,
who SCREAMS WILDLY IN PAIN!

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - COCKPIT - DAY

Han stands at the navicomputer, hitting switches. Rey enters
fast, moves past him to Chewie's seat.

HAN
Hey, where are you going?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

REY
Unkar Plutt installed a fuel pump
too -- if we don't prime that we're
not going anywhere.

HAN
I hate that guy.
Han sits as, Rey hitting buttons:

REY
And you could use a co-pilot.

HAN
I got one, he's back there.

IN THE LOUNGE, CHEWIE IS IN PAIN --

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - COCKPIT - DAY

Han and Rey in the seats:

HAN
Watch the thrust, we're goin' out of
here at lightspeed --

REY

(SHOCKED)
From inside the hangar? Is that
even possible?

HAN
I never ask that question until after
I've done it.
A RATHTAR JUMPS ONTO THE WINDSHIELD -- REY SCREAMS! Its
GIANT MOUTH CHEWING AT THE GLASS! Han works the controls:

HAN (CONT'D)
This is not how I thought this day
was gonna go -- angle the shields --
Hang on back there!
IN THE LOUNGE, Chewie is in pain -- Finn going through a
first aid kit -- the ship is HIT again --

FINN

(HUGE PROBLEM)
No problem!

INT. CARGO SHIP - HANGAR - DAY

Three GANG MEMBERS race out here and FIRE AT THE FALCON --
hitting FUEL LINES, BLASTING THE SHIP HARD!
The ship is hit.

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - COCKPIT - DAY

HAN
Come on baby, don't let me down!
He hits a switch -- but NOTHING.

HAN (CONT'D)
What?!
But Rey reaches over, hits a switch, matter-of-factly.

REY
Compressor.
Han doesn't like it but she's right -- he hits the switch
again and the HYPERDRIVE FIRES! The hangar is FILLED WITH
LIGHTSPEED BLAST as the ATTACKING GANG MEMBERS ARE BLASTED
BACK LIKE DRY LEAVES. In the cockpit the RATHTAR RIPS AWAY
as THE STARS STRETCH LIKE ELASTIC and we CUT TO:

EXT. CARGO SHIP - DAY

Camera ROTATES as the Falcon DISAPPEARS IN A STREAK, leaving
the cargo ship behind.

INT. CARGO SHIP - DAY

PUSH IN on a HANGAR DOOR where Bala-Tik arrives at the window,
SEETHING. Makes a CALL:

BALA-TIK
Inform the First Order that Han Solo
has the droid they want. And it's
aboard the Millennium Falcon.

EXT. STARKILLER BASE - DAY

A pair of TIE fighters roar towards a magnificent PLANET,
frozen WHITE. This is the STARKILLER BASE, a natural planet
that has been hacked and modified into something sinister.
Over this we HEAR a DEEP, almost SOOTHING VOICE. A voice
very much in control, of power:

SNOKE (V.O.)
The droid will soon be delivered to
the Resistance...

INT. STARKILLER PLANET - ASSEMBLY ROOM - NIGHT

KYLO REN and General Hux in a dark space, looking UPWARD at
someone addressing them.
We're in a massive and dark ASSEMBLY ROOM. Hundreds of DESKS
in a stadium arc, focused on a platform where we see SUPREME
LEADER SNOKE. Not entirely human, at nearly twenty-five
feet tall. All of him a STONY GREY. Old, wounded, fragile
and powerful, all at the same time.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

SNOKE
... Leading them to the last Jedi.
If Skywalker returns, the new Jedi
will rise.

GENERAL HUX
Supreme Leader, I take full
responsibility for th--

SNOKE
General! Our strategy must now
change.

GENERAL HUX
The weapon. It is ready. I believe
the time has come to use it. We
shall destroy the government that
supports the Resistance, the Republic.
Without their friends to protect
them, the Resistance will be
vulnerable, and we will stop them
before they reach Skywalker.
Snoke considers. Almost seems to die for a moment. Then:

SNOKE
Go. Oversee preparations.

GENERAL HUX
Yes, Supreme Leader.
General Hux, proud, cocksure, exits. Kylo Ren watches him
go. Snoke SITS. A new intimacy in his voice.

SNOKE
There's been an awakening. Have you
felt it?

KYLO REN
Yes.

SNOKE
There's something more. The droid
we seek is aboard the Millennium
Falcon. In the hands of your father,
Han Solo.
Kylo Ren reacts with subtle, but real, surprise.

KYLO REN
He means nothing to me.

SNOKE
Even you, master of the Knights of
Ren, have never faced such a test.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

KYLO REN

(STEELY RESOLVE)
By the grace of your training, I
will not be seduced.

SNOKE
We shall see. We shall see.
A gentle, satisfied nod from Snoke, and Kylo Ren, obsessed,
filled up, exits. Snoke watches him disappear, a grotesque
evil SMILE growing -- as he DISINTEGRATES -- Snoke has been
a HOLOGRAM all along.

EXT. LIGHTSPEED SPACE - DAY

RACING with the Falcon through the STRINGLIGHT of lightspeed.

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - DAY

CHAOS: INTERCUT between the COCKPIT where Han and Rey pilot,
ALARMS SOUNDING, problems everywhere, and the LOUNGE where
CHEWIE YELPS as Finn nervously works to BANDAGE HIS SHOULDER.

SPARKS!

HAN
Electrical overload!

REY
I can fix that!

HAN
The coolant's leaking!

REY
Try transferring auxiliary power to
the secondary tank--

HAN
-- Secondary tank, I got it!

INT. LOUNGE:

CHEWIE HOWLS IN PAIN! Finn hangs in there, wraps a bandage
on Chewie's shoulder: Chewie ROARS. BB-8 scurries off.

FINN
Chewie, come on! I need help with
this giant hairy thing! Stop moving!
Chewie!

INT. FALCON COCKPIT:

HAN
You hurt Chewie, you're gonna deal
with me!

INT. LOUNGE:

As Finn struggles to bandage the Wookiee:

FINN
Hurt him?! He almost killed me six
times!
(Chewie GRABS HIM by
the collar, ROARS)
Which is fine.

INT. FALCON COCKPIT:

HAN
This hyperdrive blows there's gonna
be pieces of us in three different
systems.
Han at the controls when all the alarms STOP. Rey, satisfied,
sits in the co-pilot seat. Han is confused.

HAN (CONT'D)
What'd you do?

REY
I by-passed the compressor.
He looks at her. A little, appreciative laugh. Han exits,
walking past BB-8.

HAN
Move, Ball.

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - LOUNGE AREA - DAY

Han kneels at Chewie, who lies awake but recovering. Han
checks his friend's wound with care. Chewie MOAN-TALKS.

HAN
Nah, don't say that, you did great.
Just rest.
Han turns to Finn, who sits at the HOLOCHESS set, BB-8 beside
him. This is awkward for Han, but damn, he means it:

HAN (CONT'D)
Good job, kid. And thanks.

FINN
You're welcome.
Finn has accidentally hit a button on the chess set, and the
PIECES appear, looking up at Finn, curiously. The pieces
start to FIGHT as Finn fiddles with the controls, trying to
turn it off.

HAN
So, fugitives, huh?

REY
The First Order wants the map.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

REY (CONT'D)
(re: Finn and BB-8)
Finn is with the Resistance...

(SHRUGS)
... I'm just a scavenger.
Han gives Finn a skeptical once-over as Finn finally manages
to TURN THE CHESS SET OFF as Rey enters. Han looks to BB-8.

HAN
Let's see whatcha got.

REY

(TO BB-8)
Go ahead.
BB-8 rolls forward -- and suddenly PROJECTS A HOLOGRAPHIC

MAP, FILLING THE ROOM. PLANETS, STARS, SYSTEMS.
They all react. Chewie sits to look up. Han moves through
stars, becomes reflective.

HAN
This map's not complete. It's just
a piece. Ever since Luke disappeared,
people have been looking for him.

REY
Why'd he leave?

HAN
He was training a new generation of
Jedi. One boy, an apprentice turned
against him, destroyed it all. Luke
felt responsible... He walked away
from everything.

FINN
Do you know what happened to him?

HAN
There're a lot of rumors. Stories.
The people who knew him the best
think he went looking for the first
Jedi temple.

REY
The Jedi were real?

HAN
I used to wonder that myself. Thought
it was a bunch of mumbo-jumbo --
magical power holding together good,
evil, the dark side and the light.

(BEAT)
'Crazy thing is, it's true. The
Force, the Jedi, all of it. It's
all true.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
An alarm rings on the control station, prompting Han to toggle
some switches. BB-8 cuts off the hologram. Chewie rises
and moans to Han, but Han motions for Chewie to lay back

DOWN:

HAN (CONT'D)
No, you rest.
(To Rey and Finn)
You want my help? You're getting
it. Gonna see an old friend. She'll
get your droid home. This is our
stop.
Han leaves towards the cockpit, Rey and Finn following.

EXT. LIGHTSPEED TO SPACE - DAY

BEHIND THE FALCON as it DROPS OUT OF LIGHTSPEED, revealing a
BEAUTIFUL GREEN PLANET ahead, TAKODANA.

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - COCKPIT - DAY

Han pilots. Finn and BB-8 beside him, Rey as co-pilot.
Han notices Rey looking out the windshield, almost in tears.

REY

(QUIETLY)
... I didn't know there was this
much green in the whole galaxy...
Han watches her -- sees a vulnerability that touches him.

EXT. TAKODANA PLANET - DAY

The Falcon CRESTS OVER an ENDLESS GREEN FOREST TO REVEAL a
CASTLE on a picturesque LAKE.
The Falcon lands near the castle, among dozens of WORN,
smallish freighters.

EXT. LANDING PAD - NEAR MAZ'S CASTLE - DAY

Rey steps off the Falcon, UP TO CAMERA, BB-8 at her side.
She takes in the towering stone CASTLE, FOREST to one side,
LAKE to the other. Serene, beautiful, all new to her.

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - LOUNGE AREA - DAY

From BLACKNESS: a storage unit opens. Han rummages,
retrieving old BLASTERS. Finn arrives behind him, concerned.

FINN
Hey, Solo -- I'm not sure what we're
walking into here --

HAN
D'you just call me "Solo"?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

FINN
Sorry. Han-- Mr. Solo. You should
know, I'm a big deal in the
Resistance. Which puts a real target
on my back. Are there any
conspirators here? First Order
sympathizers?

HAN
Listen big deal, you've got another
problem. Women always figure out
the truth.
Hands him a BLASTER.

HAN (CONT'D)
Always.
Han walks off. Finn watches him go, wracked with guilt.

EXT. MAZ'S CASTLE - DAY

Han hands Rey a blaster pistol as she stands at looks at the
castle.

HAN
You might need this.

REY
I think I can handle myself.

HAN
I know you do. That's why I'm giving
it to you. Take it.
Rey picks it up. Grips it.

HAN (CONT'D)
You know how to use one of these?

REY
Yeah, you pull the trigger.

HAN
There's a little bit more to it than
that. You got a lot to learn. You
got a name?

REY
Rey.

HAN
Rey. I've been thinkin' about
bringing on some more crew, Rey. A
second mate. Someone to help out.
Someone who can keep up with Chewie
and me, appreciates the Falcon.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

REY
Are you offering me a job?

HAN
I wouldn't be nice to you. It doesn't
pay much.

REY
You're offering me a job.

HAN
I'm thinking about it.
Rey wants to say yes. But something stops her. A line she
can't cross.

HAN (CONT'D)
Well?

REY
If you were, I'd be flattered. But
I have to get home.
Han looks at her, questioningly.

HAN
Jakku?
Rey looks off, in thought. Yeah, Jakku.

REY

(BEAT)
I've already been away too long.

HAN

(TO CHEWIE)
Chewie, check out the ship as best
you can.

HAN (CONT'D)
It's too bad. Chewie kind of likes
you.
Han heads off. HOLD on Rey.

EXT. MAZ'S CASTLE - DAY

Han walks them to the castle.

FINN
Solo, why are we here again?

HAN
To get your droid on a clean ship.

REY
Clean?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

HAN
Do you think it was luck that Chewie
and I found the Falcon? If we can
find it on our scanners, the First
Order's not far behind. Want to get
BB-8 to the Resistance? Maz Kanata
is our best bet.

FINN
We can trust her, right?

HAN
Relax, kid. She's run this watering
hole for a thousand years. Maz is a
bit of an acquired taste, so let me
do the talking. And whatever you
do, don't stare...

REY AND FINN
At what?

HAN
Any of it.
The door opens. Music. Madness. And...

INT. MAZ'S CASTLE - MAIN ROOM - DAY

We ENTER THE LOUD, CROWDED MESS of a hall -- PUSHING PAST a
room full of rough and odd ALIENS AND HUMANS, who gamble,
drink, scheme, negotiate, argue -- until we end up on the
BACK of a tiny, thousand year-old, four foot tall ALIEN, who
suddenly STARTS, as if SENSING something -- the Alien TURNS
TO US: she is FEMALE, wearing large ADJUSTABLE GOGGLES.
This is MAZ KANATA.

MAZ
Han Solo!
Everyone turns to look. It's ALL QUIET in here.

HAN
(Sotto) Oh boy. (Louder, waving)
Hey, Maz!
NOISE returns. Maz walks to them, pushes someone away.

MAZ
Where's my boyfriend?

HAN
Chewie's working on the Falcon.

MAZ
I like that Wookiee. I assume you
need something. Desperately. Let's
get to it.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
Maz walks off, gesturing for them to follow. Finn and Rey
are confused. Han indicates for them to follow. They do --
passing the enormous GRUMMGAR, who sits with vixen BAZINE
NETAL, who watches them suspiciously.
A SMALL DROID (GA-97), who turns its head to see BB-8
following Rey across the room. GA-97, now animated, makes a
small TRANSMITTING SOUND, which is subtitled.

GA-97
Alert the Resistance. Their missing
droid is here!
And we CUT TO:

IN A DARK ALCOVE - MOMENTS LATER
Bazine enters a shadowy space, stealthily makes a call on a
communicator. Clearly, BAZINE IS A SPY. Subtitled:

BAZINE
Inform the First Order... I've found
the droid.

EXT. STARKILLER BASE - DAY

A massive Star Destroyer hovers over the hacked ice planet.

INT. STAR DESTROYER - KYLO REN'S CHAMBERS - DAY

A dark space. Kylo Ren, CLOSE TO CAMERA, addresses someone
OFF-CAMERA whom we do not see.

KYLO REN
Forgive me. I feel it again. The
pull to the light. Supreme Leader
senses it. Show me again, the power
of the darkness, and I will let
nothing stand in our way. Show me,
Grandfather, and I will finish what
you started.
As his emotion builds, he stands and heads off -- we FOLLOW
HIM, PIVOTING TO REVEAL who he was talking to: THE BURNT,

ASHEN, GHOSTLY DEFORMED MASK OF DARTH VADER.

CUT TO:

INT. MAZ'S CASTLE - TABLE - DAY

Maz is putting together some FOOD as she says:

MAZ
A map to Skywalker himself? You're
right back in the mess.

HAN
Maz, I need you to get this droid to
Leia.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

MAZ
Hmm. No. You've been running away
from this fight for too long. Han,
nyakee nago wadda. Go home!

HAN
Leia doesn't want to see me.

FINN
Please, we came here for your help.

REY
What fight?

MAZ
The only fight: against the dark
side. Through the ages, I've seen
evil take many forms. The Sith.
The Empire. Today, it is the First
Order. Their shadow is spreading
across the galaxy. We must face
them. Fight them. All of us.

FINN
There is no fight against the First
Order! Not one we can win. Look
around. There's no chance we haven't
been recognized already. I bet you
the First Order is on their way right--
Finn stops, seeing Maz adjusting her goggles, scrutinizing
him -- her eyes get HUGE.

FINN (CONT'D)
What's this? What are you doing?
Maz adjusts the goggles again. Her eyes get impossibly
BIGGER. She grunts recognition. She hoists herself on the
tabletop, knocking over food and plates, crawling towards
Finn.

FINN (CONT'D)
Solo, what is she doing?

HAN
I don't know, but it ain't good.

MAZ
If you live long enough you see the
same eyes in different people. I'm
looking at the eyes of a man who
wants to run.

FINN
(eyes on Maz)
You don't know a thing about me.
Where I'm from. What I've seen.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

FINN (CONT'D)
You don't know the First Order like
I do. They'll slaughter us. We all
need to run.
Rey is stunned. Maz, not so much. She crawls back to her
chair. She points to some pirates in the corner.

MAZ
You see those two? They'll trade
work for transportation to the Outer
Rim. There, you can disappear.
Finn sees them. Considers.

REY
Finn!

FINN
Come with me.

REY
What about BB-8? We're not done
yet. We have to get him back to
your base.

FINN
I can't.
Finn stands to leave. He offers the gun back to Han.

HAN
Keep it, kid.
Finn heads off. Rey gets up to follow. Maz dials her lenses
back to normal, and turns to Han.

MAZ
Who's the girl?

ON FINN
Who has arrived at the table with the ALIEN SMUGGLERS.

FINN
I was told you could get me to the
Outer Rim.
Rey barges into the conversation, interrupting.

REY
What are you doing?
Finn gets up to talk to her.

FINN
(to Big Head)
Don't leave without me.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
Embarrassed, Finn moves her away.

REY
You can't just go. I won't let you.

FINN
I'm not who you think I am.

REY
Finn, what are you talking about?

FINN
I'm not Resistance. I'm not a hero.
I'm a Stormtrooper.

(STOPS HER)
Like all of them, I was taken from a
family I'll never know. And raised
to do one thing...

(EMOTIONAL)
But my first battle, I made a choice.
I wasn't going to kill for them. So
I ran.

FINN (CONT'D)
Right into you. And you looked at
me like no one ever had. I was
ashamed of what I was. But I'm done
with the First Order. I'm never
going back. Rey, come with me.

REY
Don't go.

FINN
Take care of yourself. Please.
Rey looks at him, crushed. With quiet resignation, Rey
watches Finn return to the aliens...
And all three head off. He gets to the front door and walks
through it.
Rey is heartsick, but she turns as she hears the sound of a
young girl in anguish, crying. She follows the sound into
the castle, turning so she can't see that Finn has looked
back at her one last time.

INT. MAZ' CASTLE - BASEMENT CORRIDOR - DAY

Rey steps down into the basement corridor. BB-8 follows
her. Walking carefully and confused, she is not sure why
she's down here. She can hear the echoing sounds of a young
girl crying. She heads down the hall... to the very end,
where there is a door. It is almost as if a SOULFUL VIBRATION
draws her closer. She looks at the door lock -- AND THE

DOOR OPENS.
Hesitant, Rey enters.

INT. MAZ'S CASTLE - CRYPT ROOM - DAY

Rey moves into the dark, small, vaulted storage room. Old
treasures line the floors and walls, but there is something
specific Rey is drawn to: on a table, an old wooden BOX.
She moves to it, unsure, afraid, as if an energy from inside
the box has been calling her here. BB-8 nervously follows.
Rey reaches out, very slowly, to touch the box. A moment
heavy with tension.
Rey OPENS THE BOX and sees inside Luke Skywalker's original
lightsaber. With hesitation, she reaches towards it, but
she cannot resist. As her hand makes contact with it, there
is the piercing sound of a lightsaber igniting. She moves
her hand away, as REY HEARS A MECHANICAL BREATHING sound.
The CAMERA MOVES, LIGHTING CHANGES -- and we see behind her
something impossible: a HALLWAY OF FROM DEEP INSIDE CLOUD
CITY. Disembodied voices fill the air.

YOUNG GIRL

NO!
She stands -- looks around, confused by all she sees and
hears. -- Turns and sees, through a DOORWAY.
We follow Rey and she runs down the corridor, but it all
TILTS -- TURNS -- and she lands on the
WALL -- which is now the GROUND -- dried GRASS.
She turns to look -- we PIVOT -- and see a BURNING TEMPLE AT
NIGHT. We PAN to:
R2-D2 -- who watches the flames -- and a MAN appears (LUKE,
whose face we do not see). He falls to his knees, reaches
out to the droid -- with a MECHANICAL RIGHT HAND.
We PUSH IN ON REY as RAIN BEGINS -- and DAY TURNS TO NIGHT --
and she LOOKS UP -- we TILT UP --
To see we're LOOKING UP AT A WARRIOR as he is STABBED BY A
FIERY LIGHTSABER! He screams and falls to the ground -- we
FOLLOW HIM, revealing Rey again, now in a nighttime
battlefield. She gets to her feet, frightened by what she
sees. We PIVOT AROUND HER to REVEAL KYLO REN, and the six
other KNIGHTS OF REN, who flank him!
Come back around to Rey, soaking now, as the RAIN STOPS and
SUNLIGHT illuminates her -- she turns to look -- we PIVOT --
and see...
A little girl. Rey as a child. She is sobbing, hysterical.
Unkar Plutt's meaty hand holds her thin arm. She is on Jakku,
watching a starship fly into the sky, abandoning her.

YOUNG GIRL
No, come back!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

UNKAR PLUTT
Quiet, girl!
The ship flies towards the desert sun, which is strangely
eclipsed, as if being eaten by darkness. Rey looks around
her to see she is..
In a NIGHTTIME, BARREN, SNOWY WOODS. She's losing her mind,
confounded and lost and she gets to her feet, her breath
seen in the frigid air -- and then: THE SOUND OF CLASHING
LIGHTSABERS! She moves through the woods, toward the sound.
Rey runs, heart pounding, when KYLO REN EMERGES FROM BEHIND
A TREE! She stops, SCREAMS, FALLS BACK and LANDS IN:

INT. MAZ' CASTLE - BASEMENT CORRIDOR - DAY

She falls back, out of the room, suddenly sitting in the
hall, out of breath, alarmed and perplexed.
She HEARS something and turns to look.
Maz stands at the end of the corridor, realizing what has
just happened.

REY
What was that? I shouldn't have
gone in there.

MAZ
That lightsaber was Luke's. And his
father's before him and now, it calls
to you!
Rey stands, fast. Still overwhelmed, emotional, speechless.

REY
I have to get back to Jakku.

MAZ
Han told me.
(reaches out, hold

REY'S HAND)
Dear child. I see your eyes. You
already know the truth. Whomever
you're waiting for on Jakku, they're
never coming back. But... there's
someone who still could.

REY
Luke.

MAZ
The belonging you seek is not behind
you. It is ahead. I am no Jedi,
but I know the Force. It moves
through and surrounds every living
thing. Close your eyes. Feel it.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

MAZ (CONT'D)
The light. It's always been there.
It will guide you. The saber. Take
it.
Rey suddenly stands.

REY
I'm never touching that again. I
don't want any part of this.
And Rey runs off, passing Maz.
Rey's mind is spinning -- she can't take it -- she turns and
heads off, fast. BB-8 follows her. TIGHT ON MAZ, watching
her go. Maz SIGHS, feeling for the young girl.

EXT. MAZ'S CASTLE - DAY

Rey exits the castle, needs to run, but doesn't know where.
Heads toward the woods.

EXT. FOREST - DAY

Rey moves through the foliage, heart racing. Over this, we
HEAR a RUMBLING -- intense, an OMEN of something horrible to
come.

EXT. STARKILLER BASE - ASSEMBLY AREA - DAY

A massive rally: a thousand STORMTROOPERS, TIE FIGHTERS,
OFFICERS and VEHICLES. BRUTALIST STRUCTURES, mountainous
SNOWY LANDSCAPE. Addressing them at a podium, flanked by
RED FIRST ORDER BANNERS, is HUX. His voice ECHOES:

GENERAL HUX
Today is the end of the Republic!
The end of a regime that acquiesces
to disorder! At this very moment,
in a system far from here the New
Republic LIES to the GALAXY while
secretly supporting the treachery of
the loathsome Resistance. This fierce
machine which you have built, upon
which we stand, will bring an end to
the Senate! To their cherished fleet!
All remaining systems will bow to
the First Order! And will remember
this... as the last day of the
Republic!

INT. STARKILLER BASE - CONTROL ROOM - DAY

ENGINEERS perform FINAL FIRING PROTOCOL. There's a sense of
nervousness -- WILL THIS MASSIVE WEAPON ACTUALLY WORK?

EXT. STARKILLER BASE - ASSEMBLY AREA - DAY

GENERAL HUX

FIRE!
And Hux TURNS to give the signal as we CUT BACK WIDE -- a
ROAR OF BOOTS ON PAVEMENT as the thousand Stormtroopers TURN
to face an endless snowy landscape. WHAT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN?!

EXT. STARKILLER BASE - DAY

A view PAST THE RALLY. For a moment, nothing. Then, eerily

SILENT, AN IMPOSSIBLE BLAST OF FIRE LIGHT -- LIKE AN ATOMIC

BOMB TEST TIMES A ZILLION -- BLASTS FROM MILES AWAY, INTO
THE SKY! Seconds later, a TERRIBLE EXPLOSIVE ROAR!
The Troopers -- everyone -- is nearly PUSHED BACK by the
FORCE of it -- the magnitude! Many have to COVER THEIR EYES!
For MILES around the FIREBEAM, ICE AND SNOW MELTS INSTANTLY!
Runoff tunnels FLOODED with AN OCEAN OF FRESH WATER. AIRBORNE
CREATURES by the thousands burst from trees and take flight.
Hux watches, his eyes WILD WITH POWER AND EVIL. From HIS
eyes, CUT TO:

INT. STAR DESTROYER BRIDGE - DAY

TIGHT ON KYLO REN as he watches the Starkiller firing.

EXT. MAZ' CASTLE - DAY

Finn boards the Alien Freighter. The SOUND FROM THE SKY
makes him turn back. He sees the PATH OF FIRE and his blood
runs cold, his heart sinks.

EXT. REPUBLIC SYSTEM - NIGHT

At a massive distance we see PLANETS THE REPUBLIC CAPITAL

SYSTEM -- INCREASINGLY LIT, THEN POWERFULLY HIT BY THE VAST

FIREBLAST WHICH OBLITERATES IT ALL!

EXT. REPUBLIC CITY - NIGHT

The galaxy CENTER OF GOVERNMENT at NIGHT. Impressive
structures. Senators and dignitaries look in uncomprehending
horror to the night sky. LIGHT GROWING --
FROM A GREAT DISTANCE a CIRCLE OF FIRE -- LIKE A SMALL SUN

APPEARING FROM NOWHERE AND GROWING CLOSE AND MASSIVE, TURNING
NIGHT TO DAY! And in seconds THE FIRE BLOCKS OUT EVERYTHING

ELSE, AND THE ENTIRE PLANET OF HOSNIAN PRIME IS INCINERATED!

EXT. MAZ'S CASTLE - DAY

A crowd of ALIENS files out from inside, all eyes on the
FIRE IN THE SKY. Dozens of LANGUAGES exclaiming fear and
horror. Find Han and Chewie moving out, looking up.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

FINN (O.S.)
It was the Republic.
Han and Chewie turn as Finn arrives, moving quickly through
the crowd. With dread:

FINN (CONT'D)
The First Order, they've done it.
Where's Rey?

EXT. FOREST - DAY

Rey races through the forest and finally comes to a stop,
overwhelmed and exhausted. At an emotional breaking point,
she has no idea where to go, who to turn to. Then she HEARS
A BEEP -- turns to see BB-8, catching up with her.

REY
What are you doing?

(HE BEEPS)
You have to go back.
(he BEEPS again)

REY (CONT'D)
BB-8. No, you can't -- you have to
go back, you're too important.
They'll help you.
Then, ANOTHER SOUND -- LOUDER NOW -- they LOOK UP AGAIN: in
front of the system attack, A FLEET OF FIRST ORDER SHIPS
ROAR OVERHEAD, TOWARD THE CASTLE! Rey's heart sinks: HER

FRIENDS ARE IN DANGER!

INT. MAZ'S CASTLE - BASEMENT CORRIDOR - DAY

Maz leads Han, Finn and Chewie down the hall, fast:

MAZ
I've had this for ages...

MAZ'S CASTLE - TREASURE ROOM - DAY
Maz opens the box -- holds out the lightsaber to Finn:

MAZ
Kept it locked away.

HAN
Where'd you get that?

MAZ
A good question for another time.

(TO FINN)
Take it! Find your friend!
Finn grabs it as the room is SHAKEN by an above ground attack.

MAZ (CONT'D)
Those beasts! They're here!

EXT. FOREST - DAY

Rey and BB-8 race fast back toward the castle -- EXPLOSION
SOUNDS can be HEARD from the direction they're headed!

EXT. FOREST - DAY

Rey races through the trees -- sees Maz' castle -- BEING
DESTROYED BY FIRST ORDER SHIPS! Aliens RUNNING, GETTING
OBLITERATED by SCREAMING TIE FIGHTERS! Other TIE FIGHTERS
and TRANSPORTERS LAND, STORMTROOPERS in attack.
Just then, filtered RADIO CALLS get Rey's attention: nearby
STORMTROOPERS have spotted her, AND FIRE!

STORMTROOPER
FN-417, hold position!
Rey takes cover, grabs her BLASTER -- but IT WON'T FIRE!
She panics, then realizes:

REY
Safety!
SHE SWITCHES OFF THE SAFETY and FIRES BACK! HITS TWO TROOPERS
and retreats, calls to BB-8:
BB-8 follows Rey AWAY FROM THE CASTLE, firing back at more
chasing Troopers!

EXT. MAZ' CASTLE RUINS - DAY

Kylo Ren moves through the DEBRIS. A Stormtrooper approaches:

STORMTROOPER #4
Sir, the droid was spotted heading
west, with a girl.
Kylo Ren LOOKS BACK SHARPLY, in Rey's direction --

EXT. FOREST - DAY

Rey and BB-8 move swiftly, terrified -- she stops them:

REY
You have to keep going, stay out of
sight, I'll try to fight 'em off.
(BB-8 BEEPS; bravely
through her fear)
I hope so, too.
BB-8 BEEPS and heads off -- Rey RUNS and TAKES COVER behind
a massive, mossy tree. TIGHT on her TERRIFIED FACE --

EXT. CASTLE DEBRIS - DAY

Han, Chewie, Finn and Maz, exhausted, CLIMB UP, peek through
debris.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

HAN
Come on, Chewie!
Maz turns to Finn:

MAZ
Rey and BB-8, they need you. Now
go.

FINN
I need a weapon.
Maz grabs his wrist -- holds up his hand -- THE SABER.

MAZ
You have one!
He looks at her questioningly -- he's supposed to use the
lightsaber?! He TURNS IT ON.
HAN AND CHEWIE RUN, TAKE COVER from BLASTS, FIRING BACK at
Stormtroopers, taking some out!

HAN
Hey, can I try that?
Han borrows Chewbacca's bowcaster, fires on Stormtroopers
and sends them flying.

HAN (CONT'D)

(TO CHEWBACCA)
I like this thing.
FINN SURPRISES A STORMTROOPER WITH THE LIGHTSABER, then
another! Untrained, he's athletic, brave, impressive. One
Stormtrooper has a MACE --

STORMTROOPER
Traitor!
FINN and the TROOPER WITH THE MACE battle. The Mace Trooper
KNOCKS FINN DOWN! The Stormtrooper is about to end him,
when THE STORMTROOPER IS SHOT AND FALLS!
Wide-eyed Finn sees Han run over, having fired the blast!
Han helps him up.

HAN
You okay, Big deal?

FINN
Thanks!
But TEN STORMTROOPERS come over a RISE, BLASTERS AIMED.

STORMTROOPER
Don't move! TK-338, we have targets
in custody!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
No way out, they DROP THEIR WEAPONS: TIGHT on the LIGHTSABER
as it HITS THE GROUND. A STORMTROOPER HAND picks it up.
Han's MIND RACES as a SQUAD OF TROOPERS appears behind them.
Finn, Han and Chewie are MARCHED by Stormtroopers back toward
a transport, hands on their heads.
But then -- A FAMILIAR ROAR RIPPING ACROSS THE LAKE -- Han
turns -- they all do: coming toward them across the water, X-

WINGS AND RESISTANCE SPACECRAFT APPEAR, BEGIN FIRING AT THE

FIRST ORDER SHIPS!

PUSH IN ON HAN, HOPE SURGING -- CHEWIE TALKS.

STORMTROOPER (CONT'D)
We have incoming at two-eight-point-
six! Move! Dispatch! Move!
Scramble all squads! Repeat, scramble
all squads! Anti-air cover en route
to our position!

HAN
It's the Resistance.
One X-WING in particular -- MARKED IN BLACK -- SWOOPS DOWN
and takes out the parked TIE FIGHTERS and Troopers!

INT. POE'S X-WING - DAY

It's Poe Dameron at the stick of his X-wing.

POE
Go straight ahead and don't let these
dogs scare you!

JESS (V.O.)
Copy that!

SNAP (V.O.)
We're with you, Poe!
The Stormtroopers around Finn, Han and Chewie SCATTER, TOSSED
in EXPLOSIONS! The LIGHTSABER LANDS AGAIN -- FINN PICKS IT

UP.

HAN
Quick!
Chewie picks up his Bowcaster, Han takes the blaster. Shoots
a Trooper.

FINN
Woohoo! YEAH! That's one helluva
pilot!

INT. POE'S X-WING - DAY

POE

WOOHOO!

EXT. FOREST - DAY

In the darkened woods, Rey, terrified, keeps her blaster
aimed. Her eyes dart around for her pursuer.
And then: THE UNIQUE SOUND OF KYLO REN'S RASPING LIGHTSABER
COMING TO LIFE -- A SOUND she's HEARD BEFORE in the FORCEBACK.
Rey's heart skips a beat: she's even more scared now.
Kylo Ren appears from behind a tree -- Rey FIRES again and
again -- Kylo Ren moves toward her, USING HIS LIGHTSABER TO

DEFLECT EVERY BLAST.
She FIRES ferociously, but Kylo Ren keeps coming! His hand
rises -- Rey suddenly STOPS -- GASPS -- UNABLE TO MOVE.

KYLO REN
The girl I've heard so much about.
He walks AROUND HER, slowly, she won't let herself cry.

KYLO REN (CONT'D)
The droid.
He comes around to see her face. After a scary beat he WHIPS

HIS SABER UP TO HER EYES, ILLUMINATING HER FACE.

KYLO REN (CONT'D)
Where is it?

WIDE SHOT: THE EPIC BATTLE BETWEEN RESISTANCE AND FIRST

ORDER TROOPS, REFLECTED IN THE STILL LAKE.

STORMTROOPER
Request air support!

EXT. FOREST - DAY

Kylo Ren TURNS OFF HIS SABER, reaches up... and REACHES
TOWARDS REY'S FACE. She can't move, strains in agony. After
a beat, surprised by what he finds, he removes his hand.
She is relieved but still afraid.

KYLO REN
The map. You've seen it.
Rey is horrified. He TOUCHES HER FACE again: the pain, tears
stream. Kylo Ren, taking more from her mind...
She stares at him, TERRIFIED, straining in agony --
Kylo Ren, mid-interrogation, TURNS TOWARD THE SOUND OF THE
EXPLOSIONS. Stormtroopers APPROACH through the woods.

STORMTROOPER #5
Sir, Resistance fighters! We need
more troops.
Kylo Ren TURNS BACK TO Rey, his hand still on her face.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

KYLO REN
Pull the division out. Forget the
droid. We have what we need.
A GESTURE from Kylo Ren and REY LOSES CONSCIOUSNESS, FALLS

FROM FRAME!

EXT. CASTLE DEBRIS - DAY

The BLACK-MARKED X-WING SWOOPS DOWN again, FIRING, EXPLODING
another TIE Fighter! On the ground:

STORMTROOPER
Pull back the tree line!
Han and Chewie dodge debris, FIRING and TAKING OUT TROOPERS.
FINN takes out 2 TROOPERS with the blaster, then, out of
breath, turns to see: Kylo Ren in the forest, CARRYING REY
IN HIS ARMS, INTO HIS SHUTTLE! Finn's heart SHATTERS --
Han stops -- turns -- sees Kylo Ren entering his shuttle.
Han is ROCKED.

FINN

NO!! REY!!!
Heroically, Finn runs toward the shuttle through LASER BLASTS
AND EXPLOSIONS, but the shuttle TAKES OFF -- Finn irrationally

CHASES IT, SCREAMS DESPERATELY:

FINN (CONT'D)
No, no, no, no... REY!!
In crazed frustration, Finn stops running, watches the
receding First Order ships, Rey their captive.

EXT. FOREST - DAY

BB-8 moves fast, then stops and looks up as the First Order
ships RETREAT, OFF PLANET. A considered beat, and BB-8 heads

BACK FOR THE CASTLE.

EXT. MAZ'S CASTLE RUINS - DAY

Post battle. Finn runs to Han:

FINN
He took her! Did you see that? He
took her. She's gone!

HAN

(WALKS PAST)
Yeah, yeah, I know...
And he and Chewie head off.

EXT. MAZ'S CASTLE RUINS - DAY

Han moves toward a RESISTANCE TRANSPORT landing in the debris.
BB-8 rolls up beside him, in wait for the transport.
ON HAN'S FACE, knowing exactly what's about to happen.
Finally, the transport door opens.
And standing there is LEIA.
She sees Han and is stunned. A silent beat, husband and
wife reunited for the first time in years. In the smoke and
embers, no one says a word.
Then C-3PO walks out from the transport, into the field:

C-3PO
Goodness! Han Solo! It is I, See-
Threepio!
(sees Han, stops)
You probably don't recognize me
because of the red arm.
(sees Leia,

INCREASINGLY AWKWARD)
Look who it is! Did you see who?
Oh. Excuse me, Prin-- uh, General.
Sorry. Come along, BB-8. Quickly.

(BB-8 BEEPS)
Yes, I must get my proper arm
reinstalled.
He hurries off. Finally, alone again.

HAN
You changed your hair.

LEIA
Same jacket.

HAN
No, new jacket.
Chewie glad to see Leia, greets her with a hug. Chewie MOANS
a few words, looks at Han then boards the ship.
It is complicated and loving and painful. Han says, quietly:

HAN (CONT'D)
... I saw him. Leia, I saw our son.
He was here.
Leia hears this.
Maz watches through the smoke.

EXT. SPACE - DAY

The FALCON and surviving X-WINGS ROAR past camera toward a

PLANET WITH GREEN FLORA AND A RING OF ASTEROIDS.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
This is D'QAR.

EXT. D'QAR - DAY

The SHIPS DESCENDING among grassy mounds and sunken
structures.

EXT. RESISTANCE BASE - DAY

LARGE GRASS MOUNDS cover HANGARS, beneath the odd, giant
trees. BOOM DOWN as RESISTANCE GROUND CREW direct an X-WING
to a LANDING. In the FOREGROUND, another X-wing canopy OPENS,
a PILOT climbs out. PAN TO REVEAL the landed Millennium
Falcon. Finn runs down the ramp, UP TO CAMERA, desperate,
searching.
Then BB-8 SPEEDS RIGHT PAST HIM, almost knocking him down --
Finn watches as BB-8 rolls over to the PILOT GETTING OUT OF
THE BLACK-MARKED X-WING. The Pilot's helmet comes off.

IT IS POE!
Finn can't believe what he's seeing. And Poe, kneeling in
WARM REUNION with BB-8, listens and reacts to something the
droid tells him. Poe looks up and sees Finn -- and he can't
believe it either! Poe smiles, points at Finn. From a
distance, Finn gestures in sheer amazement that Poe is alive.

FINN
Poe. Poe Dameron.
They move to each other -- and embrace.

FINN (CONT'D)
You're alive!

POE
So are you!

FINN
What happened to you?

POE
What happened? I got thrown from
the crash, woke up at night -- no
you, no ship, nothing--
BB-8 BEEPS -- Poe listens, turns to Finn.

POE (CONT'D)
BB-8 says that you saved him.

FINN
No, no, no. It wasn't just me.

POE
You completed my mission, Finn.
That's my jacket?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

FINN
Oh here.

POE
No, no, no. Keep it. It suits you.
You're a good man, Finn.

FINN
Poe -- I need your help.

INT. RESISTANCE BASE - DAY

MOVE FAST with Finn and Poe. Finn takes in this makeshift
command center, buried deep among vines and roots. They
arrive at Leia, who stands with a group of Resistance
Officers, including ADMIRALS ACKBAR and STATURA:

POE
General Organa. Sorry to interrupt,
this is Finn, he needs to talk to

YOU --

LEIA
(takes Finn's hand)
And I need to talk to him. That was
incredibly brave, what you did.
Renouncing the First Order, saving
this man's life --

FINN
(surprised she knows)
Thank you, ma'am -- but a friend of
mine was taken prisoner--

LEIA
Han told me about the girl, I'm sorry.
Finn is startled -- Poe jumps in:

POE
Finn's familiar with the weapon that
destroyed the Hosnian system. He
worked on the base.

LEIA
We're desperate for anything you can
tell us.

FINN
That's where my friend was taken --
I've got to get there, fast.

LEIA
And I will do everything I can to
help, but first you must tell us all
you know.

INT. RESISTANCE BASE - DAY

Chewbacca sits on a bed in the med bay. DR. KALONIA uses a
device to help heal his shoulder. Chewie TALKS.

DR. KALONIA

(CHEWIE TALKS)
That sounds very scary.

(CHEWIE TALKS)
You must be so brave.
Chewie agrees.

INT. RESISTANCE BASE - DAY

C-3PO takes the DATA DEVICE from BB-8 and inserts it into a
BASE COMPUTER. THE PROJECTED MAP APPEARS in HOLOGRAM. Leia
enters, studying it, dispirited. PAN as she moves, REVEALING
HAN. C-3PO is here and some others.

C-3PO
General, I regret to inform you, but
this map recovered from BB-8 is only
partially complete. And even worse,
it matches no charted system on
record. We simply do not have enough
information to locate Master Luke.

LEIA
I can't believe I was so foolish to
think that I could just find Luke
and bring him home.

HAN
Leia...

LEIA
Don't do that.

HAN
Do what?
She heads off.

LEIA
Anything.
Flummoxed, Han follows looking at C-3PO.

C-3PO
Princesses.
Han follows Leia across the base floor:

HAN
I'm trying to be helpful!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

LEIA
When did that ever help? And don't
say the Death Star.

HAN

(SIGHS)

INT. RESISTANCE BASE - DAY

LOW WITH BB-8 as he rolls over and finds, under a dark and
dusty tarp in a corner, R2-D2. BB-8 BEEPS at R2, pulls off
the tarp and tries to start a conversation. But R2 DOESN'T
RESPOND AT ALL. BB-8 tries again. Nothing. BB-8 NUDGES
R2. Nothing. Then:

C-3PO (O.S.)
BB-8. You're wasting your time.
BB-8 looks up at C-3PO, who stands there. C-3PO SIGHS.

C-3PO (CONT'D)
It is very doubtful that R2 would
have the rest of the map in his backup
data.

(BB-8 BEEPS)
I am afraid not. R2-D2 has been in
low power mode ever since Master
Luke went away. Sadly, he may never
be his old self again.

INT. RESISTANCE BASE - DAY

Leia hears the change in Han's voice and softens. She turns.

HAN
Listen to me, will you? I know every
time you... every time you look at
me, you're reminded of him.

LEIA
You think I want to forget him? I
want him back!
Han looks at her with sympathy.

HAN
There was nothing we could've done.
(hard for him to say)
There was too much Vader in him.

LEIA
That's why I wanted him to train
with Luke. I just never should have
sent him away. That's when I lost
him. That's when I lost you both.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

HAN
We both had to deal with it in our
own way. I went back to the only
thing I was ever good at.

LEIA
We both did.

HAN
We lost our son, forever.

LEIA
No.

(LONG BEAT)
It was Snoke.
Han takes this in.

LEIA (CONT'D)
He seduced our son to the dark side.
But we can still save him. Me.
You.

HAN
If Luke couldn't reach him, how could

I?

LEIA
Luke is a Jedi... you're his father.
There's still light in him. I know
it.

GENERAL STATURA
General, the reconnaissance report
on the enemy base is coming.

INT. STARKILLER BASE - HOLDING CELL - DAY

Rey wakes, disoriented. She is in an angled, upright
restraining rig. Looks over, startled to see Kylo Ren, mask
in place, standing there.

REY
Where am I?

KYLO REN

(LONG BEAT)
You're my guest.

REY
Where are the others?

KYLO REN
You mean the murderers, traitors and
thieves you call friends?
(Rey stares at him)
You'll be relieved to hear that I
have no idea.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
Rey studies him. She's fearful... but curious.

KYLO REN (CONT'D)
You still want to kill me.

REY
That happens when you're being hunted
by a creature in a mask.
Kylo Ren stops, considers her... then reaches up, unlatches
and REMOVES HIS MASK. Rey reacts, stunned. It takes a moment
before she regains her own mask of defiance.

KYLO REN
Tell me about the droid.

REY
(a nervous beat)
He's a BB unit with a selenium drive
and a thermal hyperscan vindicator --

KYLO REN
He's carrying a section of a
navigational chart. We have the
rest, recovered from archives of the
Empire. We need the last piece.
And somehow, you convinced the droid
to show it to you. You. A scavenger --
Rey reacts -- afraid -- how does he know?

KYLO REN (CONT'D)
You know I can take whatever I want.
Trepidation flashes across Rey's eyes. Kylo Ren moves closer,
his hand rising toward her. She recoils, but has nowhere to
go. Kylo Ren nearly TOUCHES HER FACE...
THEY'RE BOTH SURPRISED: they react to a feeling that passes
between them -- AN ENERGY THEY RECOGNIZE IN EACH OTHER.
And then it's gone. Adversaries again. Rey can't move,
quietly strains in agony, trying to resist Ren's probing.

KYLO REN (CONT'D)
... You're so lonely... so afraid to
leave...
(then, slight smile)
At night, desperate to sleep... you
imagine an ocean. I see it -- I see
the island...
Tears stream down her face as she resists. She tries to
break free, but can't budge.

KYLO REN (CONT'D)
And Han Solo. You feel like he's
the father you never had. He would've
disappointed you.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
His hand still on her face, her eyes fierce through the agony:

REY
-- Get out of my head --
But this just makes Kylo lean closer.

KYLO REN
I know you've seen the map. It's in
there... and now you'll give it to
me. Don't be afraid. I feel it
too.
Where her strength comes from, she doesn't know, but:

REY
I'm not giving you anything.

KYLO REN
We'll see.
He peers into her eyes intensely. She meets his gaze --

DESPITE THE PAIN SHE IS STRONG.
On Ren's face as HIS CONFIDENCE BEGINS TO MELT AWAY. He has
slammed up against a barrier in her mind. He looks less
certain by the moment as Rey seems to GROW IN STRENGTH. The
FEROCITY of confrontation builds until it hits critical mass

AND REY DOES THE UNTHINKABLE! SHE ENTERS HIS HEAD, AMAZED

AT WHAT SHE IS SEEING!

REY
... You... you're afraid... that you
will never be as strong as... Darth
Vader!
KYLO REN SUDDENLY WITHDRAWS HIS HAND, as if her face were
FIRE HOT. TAKES A STEP BACK, CONFUSED, RATTLED. Rey's body
is released, she breathes deeply, her powerful eyes still on
Kylo Ren, who starts to leave.
And we PRELAP:

SNOKE (V.O.)
This scavenger, resisted you?

INT. STARKILLER PLANET - ASSEMBLY ROOM - NIGHT

Kylo Ren, mask off, stands before Snoke.

KYLO REN
She's strong with the Force, untrained
but, stronger than she knows.
And while Ren's mind no doubt goes to Luke:

SNOKE
And the droid?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
Kylo Ren hesitates to reveal the truth. Then:

GENERAL HUX (O.S.)
Ren believed it was no longer valuable
to us.
Ren turns back -- Hux enters the large space, moves to the
platform beside Ren.

GENERAL HUX (CONT'D)
That the girl was all we needed. As
a result, the droid has most likely
been returned to the hands of the
enemy. They may have the map already.
Snoke is visibly furious.

SNOKE
Then the Resistance must be destroyed
before they get to Skywalker.

GENERAL HUX
We have their location. We tracked
their reconnaissance ship to the
Ileenium system.

SNOKE
Good. Then we will crush them once
and for all. Prepare the weapon.
Kylo Ren is stunned by the moment -- that isn't what he meant
at all --

KYLO REN
Supreme Leader. I can get the map
from the girl. I just need your
guidance.

SNOKE
If what you say about this girl is
true, bring her to me.

INT. STARKILLER BASE - HOLDING CELL - DAY

SLOW PUSH IN ON REY, shackled, mind still racing over what's
happened between her and Kylo Ren. She is flooded with
emotions, feeling her potential, her strength, that in this
moment of being restrained, perhaps anything is possible.
She turns to the Stormtrooper Guard. Studies him for an
intense beat. Then says:

REY
You will remove these restraints.
And leave this cell, with the door
open.
The Stormtrooper Guard looks at her. A beat.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

TROOPER GUARD #2
What did you say?
Rey's eyes stay trained on him. She shifts in her seat, her
confidence wavering, but she repeats, with authority:

REY
You will remove these restraints.
And leave this cell, with the door
open.
The Stormtrooper Guard, rifle aimed, MOVES FOR HER.
Rey's heart pounds -- is she about to be killed, freed, or
laughed at? The tension unbearable when the Guard says:

TROOPER GUARD #2
I'll tighten those restraints,
scavenger scum!

INT. STARKILLER BASE - CORRIDOR 1 - DAY

LOW ANGLE: Kylo Ren, masked, rounds a corner, PASSES US.

INT. STARKILLER BASE - HOLDING CELL - DAY

Rey stares intently at the trooper. Calms herself. And
tries again.

REY
You will remove these restraints.
And leave this cell, with the door
open.

TROOPER GUARD #2
I will remove these restraints. And
leave this cell, with the door open.
He reaches down and UNLATCHES THE RESTRAINTS. HE THEN TURNS
AND STARTS TO HEAD OUT, her back to him as he exits. SHE IS
IN SHOCK. Then tries, quickly:

REY
And you will drop your weapon.

TROOPER GUARD #2
And I'll drop my weapon.
The Trooper Guard DROPS HIS WEAPON without turning back --
Rey HEARS the gun fall. She's incredulous. The guard has

LEFT THE CELL, ITS DOOR OPEN.
REY, in ABSOLUTE DISBELIEF, MOVES QUICKLY OUT OF FRAME!

INT. STARKILLER BASE - HOLDING CELL - DAY

Kylo Ren enters the cell -- we PUSH IN ON HIM as he takes in
the empty cell -- AND IMMEDIATELY UNDERSTANDS WHAT HAS

HAPPENED.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

KYLO REN

NO!
Enraged, he RIPS OUT HIS SABER and --

EXT. STARKILLER BASE - CORRIDOR 1 - DAY

WIDE ANGLE, empty corridor, toward the cell: we only HEAR
the horrible SOUNDS. DESTRUCTION. YELLING. A few pieces
of red hot DEBRIS BOUNCES into the corridor.
Two STORMTROOPERS, crossing at the far end of the hall, STOP
TO WATCH this display of pure FURY. They retreat, and fast.

INT. STARKILLER BASE - CONTROL ROOM - DAY

Workers at their controls. Vast snowy landscape seen outside.
Their GAUGES RISE -- THE WEAPON CHARGING SLOWLY --

GENERAL HUX
Begin charging the weapon!

STARKILLER TECHNICIAN
Yes, sir. Weapon charging.

EXT. STARKILLER BASE PLANET - DAY

A vast view of the planet -- a MASSIVE SOLARVAC ARRAY
surrounds a port TEN MILES IN DIAMETER.
MILLIONS OF PANELS turn on the ARRAY -- a wave of BRILLIANT
REFLECTIONS. Suddenly, like a planetary-scale TESLA COIL
LINE OF ENERGY, THE POWER OF THE SUN begins to TRAVEL DOWN
to the Starkiller Base planet.

INT. RESISTANCE BASE - DAY

Finn, now a member of the inner circle of the Resistance, is
huddled with the group around the MAP TABLE, which displays
a WIREFRAME HOLOGRAM of a ROLLING VIEW OF THE SURFACE OF
STARKILLER BASE. With Finn are Han, Leia, Poe, C-3PO,
Statura, Ackbar, Brance, SNAP, MAJOR EMATT (60), NIEN NUNB,
and others. An urgent, messy strategy session --

POE
The scan data from Snap's
reconnaissance flight confirms Finn's
report.

SNAP
They've somehow created a hyper
lightspeed weapon built within the
planet itself.

BRANCE
A laser cannon?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

SNAP
We're not sure how to describe a
weapon of this scale.

MAJOR EMATT

(HORRIBLE MEMORIES)
It's another Death Star.

POE
I wish that were the case, Major.
Poe hits a control. A WIREFRAME OF THE DEATH STAR APPEARS.

POE (CONT'D)
This was the Death Star.
Poe hits another control -- the Death Star SHRINKS -- AND
SHRINKS AND SHRINKS, as the SURFACE AREA OF THE STARKILLER

BASE IS DRAWN INTO A LARGER IMAGE, REVEALING THE ENTIRE BASE
PLANET. The Death Star is a minuscule SATELLITE in
comparison.

POE (CONT'D)
This is Starkiller Base.
This is news to many here, and they're stunned.

HAN
So it's big.

ADMIRAL ACKBAR
How is it possible to power a weapon
of this size?

FINN
It uses the power of the sun. As
the weapon is charged, the sun is
drained until it disappears.
An OFFICER runs up, hands Leia a DATACARD.

LEIA
(eyes on datacard)
The First Order: they're charging
the weapon again, now.
(then, heart sinking)
Our system is the next target.

C-3PO
Oh my. Without the Republic fleet,
we're doomed.
They all react to this horrible news.

HAN
Okay, how do we blow it up?
(all eyes on him)
There's always a way to do that.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
But no one has anything. Leia watches the silence,
frustrated. Finally, rallying them:

LEIA
Han's right.
Han is surprised.

ADMIRAL STATURA
(at first hesitant)
In order for that amount of power to
be contained, that base would need
some kind of thermal oscillator...

FINN
There is one.
All eyes on Finn as he moves around the hologram to a location
on the Starkiller Base -- it is ZOOMED IN: A GIANT BLACK

HEXAGONAL STRUCTURE.

FINN (CONT'D)
Precinct 47. Here.

ADMIRAL STATURA

(HYPOTHESIZING)
If we can destroy that oscillator,
it might de-stabilize the core and
cripple the weapon.

MAJOR EMATT
... Maybe the planet.
Poe then tries to bolster spirits, looking at the BIG
HEXAGONAL STRUCTURE: the Oscillator.

POE
We'll go in there and we'll hit that
oscillator with everything we got.

ADMIRAL ACKBAR
They have defensive shields that our
ships cannot penetrate.

HAN
We disable the shields.

(TO FINN)
Kid, you worked there, what do you
got?

FINN
(beat, then:)
I can do it.

HAN
I like this guy.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

FINN
I can disable the shields. But I
have to be there, on the planet--

HAN
We'll get you there.

LEIA
Han, how?

HAN
If I told you, you wouldn't like it.

POE
So we disable the shields, take out
the oscillator and we blow up their
big gun. All right. Let's go!
And everyone splits.

EXT. HANGARS, RESISTANCE BASE - DAY

SERIES OF SHOTS: THE RESISTANCE FLEET PREPARES FOR ITS
MISSION. Pilots inspect crafts, including Snap, Nien Nunb,
and Poe at his black-marked X-wing. Mechanics make
adjustments as Crews fuel the jets. Ground controllers move
ships into takeoff formation. Pilots prep their ships,
including BB-8, who is PULLED INTO Poe's black X-wing.
Finn approaches Poe wearing the jacket.
Poe slaps Finn's shoulder as he heads off. Finn watches
Poe, despite it all, a little laugh. Over this:

EXT. RESISTANCE BASE - DAY

Chewie and Finn follow Han's orders as they prepare the Falcon
for one more daring run, maybe its last:

HAN
Chewie, check that donal capitator.
Come on. Let's go. -- Finn, be
careful with those - they're
explosives.

FINN
Now you tell me?

LEIA
No matter how much we fought, I've
always hated watching you leave.
Han looks over, there's Leia.

HAN
That's what I did it. So you'd miss
me.
She laughs, moves up close to him.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

LEIA
I did miss you.
He looks at her, says sweetly, out of the blue:

HAN
It wasn't all bad, was it? Huh?
Some of it was...good.

LEIA
... Pretty good.

HAN
Some things never change.

LEIA

(SMILES)
True. You still drive me crazy.
Han places his hands on her shoulders. It could be thirty
years ago.
They both know there's a good chance he won't make it back.
They pull each other tight, holding for dear life. Quietly,

LONGINGLY:

LEIA (CONT'D)
If you see our son again, bring him
home.

INT. STARKILLER BASE - DAY

STORMTROOPER
Sir, sensors triggered in hangar
718. We're searching the area.

KYLO REN
She's just beginning to test her
powers. The longer it takes to find
her, the more dangerous she becomes.
Kylo exits.

INT. STARKILLER BASE - ATRIUM AREA - DAY

TIGHT ON REY'S FACE as she peers nervously around a corner.
Rey runs down a long, glossy hall, taking cover in an alcove,
the Trooper Guard's rifle HELD TIGHT.

EXT. LIGHTSPEED SPACE - DAY

The Falcon SCREAMS PAST --

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - COCKPIT - DAY

Flying at LIGHTSPEED, Finn, with Han and Chewie.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

FINN
How are we getting in?

HAN
Their shields have a fractional
refresh rate. Keeps anything
traveling slower than lightspeed
from getting through.
Finn is suddenly filled with dread.

FINN
We're gonna make our landing approach
at lightspeed?!
Chewie, thinking it's crazy too, says: HELL YES WE ARE!

HAN
Alright, Chewie, get ready.
Chewie GROANS: he's ready. Han studies the PANEL INDICATORS.

HAN (CONT'D)
And Now!
Chewie and Han hit switches --

EXT. LIGHTSPEED SPACE/STARKILLER BASE - DAY

The Falcon's ENVIRONMENT SHIFTS INSTANTLY FROM LIGHTSPEED TO
PLANET ATMOSPHERE -- it's suddenly FLYING 100 FEET ABOVE THE

SNOWY, ROCKY GROUND, HEADED FOR A THICK FOREST!

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - COCKPIT - DAY

CHEWIE GROANS:

HAN

I AM PULLING UP!!!

EXT. STARKILLER BASE - DAY

But the Falcon has no time -- it PLOWS through the trees!
It then RISES --

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - COCKPIT - DAY

ALARMS BLARE as the ship SLAMS THROUGH BRANCHES, SHOOTS TOWARD
SKY! Han does his best to steer -- Chewie GROANS -- in the
madness Han YELLS:

HAN
I get any higher, they'll see us!
And the ship DIVES again, back into the trees!

EXT. STARKILLER BASE - CLEARING - DAY

A quiet CLEARING on the forest TREELINE. Suddenly the
MILLENNIUM FALCON HURTLES OUT OF THE FOREST! From an eruption
of BRANCHES and PINE, the ship DIVES -- SLAMS INTO THE SNOW!
It DIGS THROUGH A THOUSAND YARDS OF WHITE until it finally
comes to a canted stop, half buried in the snow!

INT. STARKILLER BASE - DAY

OFFICER
Sir, she was not found in hangar 718
but all troops are on alert.

KYLO REN
Put every hangar on lock-down. She's
going to try to steal a ship to--
Suddenly, Kylo senses something. Something familiar.

KYLO REN (CONT'D)
Han Solo...

EXT. STARKILLER BASE - DAY

MASSIVE WIDE SHOT of an EPIC SNOWSCAPE. Han, Finn and Chewie
cross the terrain. WALKERS appears on the horizon. Han,
Finn and Chewie take cover behind a base structure. Chewie
carries a BLACK DUFFEL of EXPLOSIVES.

FINN
The flooding tunnels are over that
ridge. We'll get in that way.

HAN
What was your job when you were based
here?

FINN
Sanitation.

HAN
Sanitation? Then how do you know
how to disable the shields?

FINN
I don't. I'm just here to get Rey.

HAN
People are counting on us! The galaxy
is counting on us--!

FINN
Solo, we'll figure it out! We'll
use the Force!

HAN
That's not how the Force works--!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
Chewie MOANTALKS.

HAN (CONT'D)
Oh really, you're cold?

FINN
Come on!
They follow Finn on the snowy hike. On the horizon, THE

LASER SIPHON SHOOTING INTO THE SKY, SLOWLY SUCKING THE SUN

DRY.

INT. STARKILLER BASE - CONTROL ROOM - DAY

Technicians at work, the SUN SUCKING seen in the window behind
him.

GENERAL HUX
Report.

FIRST ORDER OFFICER
Weapon charged in fifteen minutes,
sir.

INT. STARKILLER BASE - CORRIDOR 4 - DAY

A STORMTROOPER waits to board a Transport Compartment. The
door WHOOSHES open -- HAN, FINN and CHEWIE are there!

STORMTROOPER FN-9330
Hey!
He fumbles for his blaster but Chewie shoots first. WIDE
ANGLE of the corridor as the Trooper flies back, dead.
Chewie drags him out of sight. Han and Finn peer around a
corner, wary.

HAN
The longer we're here, less luck
we're going to have. The shields?

FINN
I have an idea about that.
Han and Chewie follow Finn.

INT. STARKILLER BASE - CORRIDOR - DAY

Captain Phasma heads down a corridor, distant Stormtroopers.
Suddenly Phasma is T-BONED HARD AND FAST -- SHOVED OUT OF

FRAME BY CHEWIE!
And now we're in a NARROW CROSS-CORRIDOR, CHEWIE WITH HIS

ARMS AROUND PHASMA, FORCED TO FACE FINN, WHO HOLDS HIS BLASTER
ON HIS FORMER CAPTAIN. Han stands behind Finn.

FINN
Remember me?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

CAPTAIN PHASMA

FN-2187.

FINN
Not anymore. The name's Finn, and
I'm in charge. I'm in charge now,
Phasma. I'm in charge.

HAN
Bring it down. Bring it down.

FINN
Follow me.
Finn SMILES as we CUT TO:

INT. STARKILLER BASE - ATRIUM AREA - DAY

TIGHT ON REY'S FACE as she peers nervously around a corner.
Rey runs down a long, glossy hall, taking cover in an alcove,
the Trooper Guard's rifle HELD TIGHT.
From this alcove, she can see down another LONG, PERPENDICULAR
WALKWAY -- on one side, a STONE AND STEEL WALL. On the other
side, a VAST ATRIUM, with a railing-free DROP OFF, the white
pill-light design descending HUNDREDS OF FEET.
At the end of this walkway is an OPEN HANGAR DOOR, revealing
HUNDREDS OF TIE FIGHTERS parked outside.
TIGHT on Rey's face as her plan is clear. But the problem:
between her and the ship she wants to steal, is a GROUP OF
STORMTROOPERS. Guards, in conversation.
As she tries to think about what to do next, we see, FAR
BEHIND HER in the perpendicular hall, ANOTHER GROUP OF STORM-
and SNOWTROOPERS headed her way!
Rey's mind races -- another peek out and she RUNS FAST, across
the walkway, and CLIMBS DOWN -- her fingertips disappearing
over the edge just as the Troopers approach and continue.
WIDE SHOT as Rey holds on carefully as the guards walk off,
not seeing her over the edge, a death drop below her.
But then she SEES SOMETHING and has a brainstorm. She
strenuously cross-climbs to an invisible SERVICE HATCH, which
She opens, and climbs INSIDE THE WALL, closing the hatch
behind her.

INT. STARKILLER BASE - INSIDE THE WALLS - DAY

A REMARKABLE IMAGE, inside the inner workings of the base.
Tiny by comparison, Rey climbs amid the incredible
infrastructure, a drop to infinity beneath her. She is
between the LIGHT SOURCE and the WHITE PILL SHAPES, as she
makes her way ACROSS.

INT. STARKILLER BASE - ATRIUM AREA - DAY

WIDE SHOT of the Stormtrooper GUARDS, above the drop off
into the atrium. What they cannot see is a SHADOWED
SILHOUETTE OF REY against the ENDLESS WHITE PILL LIGHTS as
she climbs across the space, beneath them, toward her exit!

INT. STARKILLER BASE - CONTROL ACCESS POINT - DAY

CLOSE AS PHASMA SITS INTO FRAME in front of a WORKSTATION --
Finn, Han and Chewie, blasters aimed. Phasma reluctantly
works controls on the workstation.

FINN
You want me to blast that bucket off
your head? Lower the shields.

CAPTAIN PHASMA
You're making a big mistake.

FINN
Do it.
Chewie MOAN/TALKS. Phasma hits a few more buttons -- the
controls BEEP-CLICK. "SHIELDS DISABLE INITIATE". Eyes on

THE WORKSTATION:

FINN (CONT'D)
Solo, if this works, we're not going
to have a lot of time to find Rey.

HAN
Don't worry kid, we won't leave here
without her.
The controls BEEP-CLICK. "SHIELDS DISABLED".

CAPTAIN PHASMA
(to Finn, cruel)
You can't be so stupid as to think
this will be easy. My troops will
storm this block and kill you all.

FINN
I disagree. What do we do with her?

HAN
Is there a garbage chute? Trash
compactor?

FINN
Yeah, there is...

INT. RESISTANCE BASE - DAY

An ALERT: OFFICERS at their consoles, OVERLAPPING, urgent.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

OFFICER
General, their shields
are down!

C-3PO
Thank the Maker!

LEIA
Han did it! Send them
in!

ADMIRAL STATURA
Give Poe full authorization
to attack.

REAR ADMIRAL

GULCH
Black Leader, go to
sub-lights. On your
call.

INT. X-WING - DAY

At LIGHTSPEED, Poe pilots:

POE
Roger, base -- red squad, blue squad,
take my lead.

INT. X-WING - DAY

Nien Nunb pilots, acknowledges order in alien language.

INT. X-WING - DAY

Another pilot, ZOLO ZIFF.

YOLO ZIFF
Dropping out of lightspeed.

EXT. SPACE/STARKILLER BASE - DAY

With CONCUSSIVE BLASTS, the X-WINGS APPEAR and ROAR PAST
CAMERA toward the Starkiller Base planet!

EXT. STARKILLER BASE - CLEARING - DAY

The CRASHED FALCON, two parked TIE FIGHTERS and a TROOP
TRANSPORT VEHICLE beside it.

EXT. STARKILLER BASE - CLEARING - DAY

At a distance, the X-WINGS DROP FROM THE SKY, TOWARD THE

HEXAGONAL OSCILLATOR STRUCTURE IN THE DISTANCE!

EXT. STARKILLER BASE - ABOVE OSCILLATOR - DAY

The squad of X-wings DIVE BOMBS the Oscillator, the Black
Falcon leads. INTERCUT BETWEEN THIS AND VARIOUS X-WINGS.

INT. X-WING - DAY

POE PILOTS:

POE
Almost in range! Hit the target
dead center, as many runs as we can
get!

INT. X-WING - DAY

Snap pilots.

SNAP
Approaching target.

INT. X-WING - DAY

Nien Nunb acknowledges.

INT. STARKILLER BASE - CONTROL ROOM - DAY

LARGE EXPLOSIONS atop the DISTANT OSCILLATOR, seen through
the large windows! ALARMS BLARE in here -- we PULL BACK as
Hux moves quickly to see the damage, he turns sharply to a
First Order Officer:

GENERAL HUX
Dispatch all squadrons...

COLONEL DATOO
Yes, General.

INT. X-WING - DAY

POE
Let's light it up!

DIVE BOMBING THE OSCILLATOR, HITTING IT DEAD CENTER IN QUICK

SUCCESSION!

INT. X-WING - DAY

LT. BASTIAN
Direct hit!

ELLO ASTY
But no damage!
Jess reacts.

POE
Yeah, we gotta keep hitting it!
Another bombing run! Remember, when
that sun is gone, that weapon will
be ready to fire! But as long as
there's light, we got a chance.

INT. X-WING - DAY

A BEEPING from BB-8, riding in the back of his X-wing, and
Poe looks out -- can't believe what he's seeing: DOZENS OF

TIE FIGHTERS!

POE
Guys, we got a lot of company!

INT. STARKILLER BASE - JUNCTION AREA - DAY

Finn, Han and Chewie take cover, Chewie pulling some
EXPLOSIVES out of the duffel. Blast doors nearby.

FINN
We'll use the charges to blow that
blast door. I'll go in and draw
fire, but I'm gonna need cover.

HAN
You sure you're up for this?

FINN
Hell no -- I'll go in find and try
to find Rey --
(improvising, fast)
-- The troopers'll be on our tail.
We have to be ready for that. There's
an access tunnel that'll leads --
(Han starts pointing
with his chin to

SOMETHING BEHIND

FINN)
Why are you doing that? Why are you
doing -- this? I'm trying to come
up with a plan.
Finn turns -- AND SEES REY, CLIMBING OUT FROM INSIDE THE
WALL, carefully climbing back up to the main level! He can't
believe it! Chewie MURMURS his relief. Han is maybe more
grateful than anyone.

INT. RESISTANCE BASE - DAY

A Resistance Technician turns to Leia:

ADMIRAL ACKBAR
The Oscillator's still standing.

OFFICER
X-wings coming back for another round
of attacks!

INT. STARKILLER BASE - CORRIDOR 6 - DAY

Rey climbs up to the corridor, vigilant. She hears a SOUND,
SWOOPS her rifle at -- Finn, Han and Chewie! She cannot
believe it! All Finn wants to do is hug her -- and she him.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

HAN
Are you all right?

REY
Yeah.

HAN
Good.

FINN
What happened -- did he hurt you?

REY
Finn. What are you doing here?!

FINN
We came back for you.
She is speechless -- this is all she's ever wanted anyone to
do. Chewie TALKS -- and Rey's eyes nearly tear up.

FINN (CONT'D)
What'd he say?

REY
(shrugs, smiles, though
nearly in tears)
... That it was your idea.
Finn awkwardly smiles. It's his nature. They embrace.

REY (CONT'D)
Thank you.

FINN
How did you get away?

REY
I can't explain it. And you wouldn't
believe it.

HAN
Escape now. Hug later.

EXT. STARKILLER BASE - DAY

The X-Wings DOGFIGHT with the TIE Fighters on the surface of
the snowy planet. INTERCUT BETWEEN the ships SCREAMING past
each other, and the COCKPITS of the Resistance and First
Order fighters. Poe's fighter NEARLY COLLIDES with a close-
passing TIE Fighter!

SNAP
I got one behind me. See it?

JESS
Yeah, I'm on it!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
A heavy cannon emplacement launches a missile that shreds an
X-wing fighter.

JESS
Furillo's been hit!

SNAP
Watch out for ground fire!

EXT. STARKILLER BASE - DAY

The X-wings ROAR across the sky, BLASTING and DODGING the
TIE Fighters and missiles.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL Han, Finn, Rey and Chewie, who run out
here, into the snow, stopping, eyes on the sky, watching the
lop-sided battle.

THE FOUR HEROES TURN TO EACH OTHER, RESOLVE IN THEIR EYES.
A long moment of communication.

HAN
They're in trouble. We can't leave.
(to Finn, re: Chewie)
My friend here has a bag full of
explosives. Let's use 'em.

INT. RESISTANCE BASE - DAY

A Resistance Technician turns to Leia:

KAYDEL KO CONNIX
General, are you seeing this?

VOBER DAND
Two more X-wings down. That's half
our fleet destroyed.

C-3PO
And their weapon will be fully charged
in 10 minutes! It would take a
miracle to save us now.

INT. STARKILLER BASE - OSCILLATOR STRUCTURE - NEAR DARKNESS

Han and Chewie arrive here to find THREE SECURITY
STORMTROOPERS approaching a Maintenance Hatch. Instantly,
Chewie takes out the middle one with his Bowcaster. Han and
the other two Stormtroopers OPEN FIRE, but Han's aim is true.

ALARMS START BLARING!

INT. JUNCTION STATION - NEAR DARKNESS

Running inside from a parked snowspeeder, Rey opens a service
hatch. Finn behind her, as she reaches into the mechanics
of the place, very much like the very first shot we saw of
Rey.
And she YANKS a piece of TECH from the machinery and:

INT. STARKILLER BASE - OSCILLATOR STRUCTURE - NEAR DARKNESS

The HATCH OPENS! Han and Chewie, having been on the lookout,
step inside, weapons poised. Chewie MOANS.

HAN
That girl knows her stuff.

INT. STARKILLER BASE - OSCILLATOR STRUCTURE - NEAR DARKNESS

Han and Chewie divide the explosives. Talk in hushed tones.

HAN
We'll set the charges at every other
column.
He GROAN/TALKS to Han, who looks around, reconsiders.

HAN (CONT'D)
You're right. That's a better idea.
(checks his detonator)
You take the top.

(CHEWIE DOES)
I'll go down below. Detonator.
We'll meet back here.
They head off in opposite directions.

INT. OSCILLATOR STRUCTURE - NEAR DARKNESS

Han finishes placing an explosive. Checks he's all-clear
and hurries down to the next level. Chewie climbs up a level.

INT. OSCILLATOR STRUCTURE - MAIN ENTRANCE - NEAR DARKNESS

A SQUAD of Stormtroopers SNAP to alert as Kylo Ren approaches.
CONTROLS ARE HIT and the huge DOOR OPENS. Without hesitation,
Kylo walks INTO THE OSCILLATOR.

INT. OSCILLATOR STRUCTURE - NEAR DARKNESS

A COLOSSAL CYLINDRICAL STRUCTURE. DARK CORRIDORS and
CATWALKS. Kylo Ren comes to a stop. Scans the structure.
SENSING SOMETHING, he motions the Stormtrooper Squad upwards.

KYLO REN
Find them.
They rush past him. Kylo Ren turns slowly, and HEADS DOWN.

INT. STARKILLER BASE - OSCILLATOR STRUCTURE - NEAR DARKNESS

The Stormtroopers move up the ramp, weapons ready, checking
carefully where blind corners intersect from the perimeter.
They come round to the next higher level and PASS CLOSE TO
CAMERA. When they've passed, TILT to find CHEWIE, in the
shadows of the grillwork.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

Once they're gone, he plants another charge.

EXT. STARKILLER BASE - OSCILLATOR STRUCTURE - NEAR DARKNESS

The Snowspeeder comes to a stop outside the structure. Finn
and Rey stop for a moment, look to the sky: THE SUN IS NEARLY

GONE.

INT. OSCILLATOR STRUCTURE - LOWER LEVEL - NIGHT

Han finishes setting a charge and is about to move on when
he HEARS SOMETHING and conceals himself behind a wide,
vertical support. He peaks around the edge and his whole
demeanor changes --
HAN'S POV: Kylo Ren appears and stops at the railing, looking
down into the filter.
Han looks at his son with a tortured storm of feelings.
WE'RE WITH KYLO REN as he resumes his hunt. He heads directly
toward WHERE HAN IS HIDING! Kylo Ren has an INCREASING SENSE
OF HAN'S PRESENCE as he moves closer. He comes to where Han
was hiding -- but HAN IS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN.
From his hiding place in a narrow, POWER CHAMBER in the wall,

HAN WATCHES HIS SON PASS ONLY A FEW FEET IN FRONT OF HIM.
Han SHIFTS HIS POSITION in the tight compartment, so he can
watch Ren's progress. Kylo Ren turns onto a FLAT BRIDGE
THAT BISECTS the open space.
Unaware of his father, Kylo Ren walks purposefully across to
the opposite side. Han watches his son walk off -- the CLANK-
CLANK of Kylo Ren's boots receding.
This is Han's opportunity to escape but Leia's words echo
through his mind. He makes a decision and moves out, to the
edge of the catwalk. He calls out, strongly:

HAN
Ben!
The name ECHOES as Kylo Ren STOPS, far across the vast
catwalk. He turns.

KYLO REN
Han Solo. I've been waiting for
this day for a long time.
Finn and Rey make their way into the space, opening a HATCH
that allows A BEAM OF PRECIOUS SUNLIGHT to stream down like
a spotlight on Han and his son. Finn and Rey get to a railing
and look down. They can SEE and HEAR Han and Kylo Ren on
the catwalk below.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

HAN
Take off that mask. You don't need
it.

KYLO REN
What do you think you'll see if I
do?
Han moves toward Kylo Ren.

HAN
The face of my son.
Kylo TAKES OFF HIS MASK. Han is JOLTED -- seeing the face
of his son for the first time as a man.

KYLO REN
Your son is gone. He was weak and
foolish, like his father. So I
destroyed him.

HAN
That's what Snoke wants you to believe
but it's not true. My son is alive.
SEVERAL LEVELS BELOW them, CHEWIE comes to the rail to watch.

INT. OSCILLATOR STRUCTURE - LOWER LEVEL - NEAR DARKNESS

Kylo flares.

KYLO REN
No. The Supreme Leader is wise.
UP ABOVE, Finn, Chewie and Rey watch, rapt. Stormtroopers
dot the perimeter of the structure, watching the scene.
ON THE BRIDGE, Han moves closer, stern:

HAN
Snoke is using you for your power.
When he gets what he wants, he'll
crush you -- you know it's true.
Kylo hesitates. Somehow, he does know it.

KYLO REN
It's too late.

HAN
No it's not. Leave here with me.
Come home. We miss you.
For the first time, Kylo Ren seems truly conflicted. Tears
flood his stoic eyes...

KYLO REN
I'm being torn apart. I want to be
free of this pain.

INT. OSCILLATOR STRUCTURE - DARKNESS FALLS

Han takes one step toward his son, but stops himself.

KYLO REN
I know what I have to do, but I don't
know if I have the strength to do
it. Will you help me?
Han hears his son's voice again, pained and vulnerable.

HAN
Yes. Anything.
Kylo Ren unholsters his lightsaber and SLOWLY EXTENDS IT to
Han, within a foot of Han's chest. Han almost can't believe
it. The moment seems to last forever. And just then, the
LAST BEAM OF SUNLIGHT streaming through the open hatch

VANISHES.
Han actually smiles -- and reaches out for the dark weapon --
but with the light now gone, KYLO REN'S EYES FILL WITH

DARKNESS, HE IGNITES THE LIGHTSABER -- THE FIERY BLADE SHOOTS

OUT, RIGHT THROUGH HAN'S CHEST AND BACK!

KYLO REN
Thank you.
ABOVE, Finn and Rey GASP -- SCREAM --

FINN

(PANTING)
Solo.

REY

(ALSO PANTING)
No, no.
Han's last moment is looking into his son's face. HAN'S
KNEES BUCKLE. The blade tilts down with him... until KYLO
REN EXTINGUISHES IT AND HAN HOLDS onto the catwalk -- his
life slipping away.
Finally Han FALLS BACK, OFF THE CATWALK, INTO THE DEPTHS OF

THE STRUCTURE!

INT. RESISTANCE BASE - DAY

Leia, feeling it instantly -- knowing -- drops into a seat,

DEVASTATED.

INT. OSCILLATOR STRUCTURE - NIGHT

Kylo Ren is somehow WEAKENED by this wicked act. Himself
horrified. His SHOCK is broken only when --
CHEWIE CRIES OUT IN AGONY! Chewie furiously FIRES AT KYLO
REN, HITTING HIM IN THE SIDE! Kylo Ren falls back, stunned.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
Our MUSIC TAKES OVER, EPIC AND HEARTBREAKING as Stormtroopers
FIRE AT CHEWIE, who is forced to retreat down a corridor,
where he holds the EXPLOSIVE REMOTE -- he PUSHES THE BUTTON!
Hearing ONLY OUR SCORE, FIRST ONE, then TWO, then FOUR, then
SIX EXPLOSIONS rock the structure -- CATWALKS FALL as the
walls CAVE IN!
Kylo Ren SEES REY AND FINN, WATCHING THE EXPLOSIONS IN SHOCK --
then they SEE KYLO REN, WHO RECOGNIZES THEM BOTH, WITH
ASTONISHMENT. He rises to his full height and heads for
them with long strides.
Stormtroopers begin to BLAST AWAY AT REY AND FINN! CRAZED,

REY FIRES BACK AS BLASTS HIT AROUND HER. FINN WRAPS AN ARM

AROUND HER AND DRAGS/CARRIES HER OUT OF SIGHT!

INT. RESISTANCE BASE - DAY

ADMIRAL ACKBAR
The Oscillator's been damaged but is
still functional.
COMMODORE META reacts.

OFFICER TABALA ZO
Admiral, their weapon will fire in
two minutes.

EXT. FOREST - NIGHT

From a distance the oscillator is ablaze and fractured from
the explosives. Then Rey and Finn appear, coming over a
rising, running into a bare-tree snowy forest.

FINN
The Falcon's this way.
Finn and Rey, overcome with emotion, race through the snowy
forest -- until Finn SLOWS AND STOPS. Rey stops too, both
out of breath. They look at each other. They both know:
they can't run.

EXT. STARKILLER BASE - FOREST - NIGHT

Kylo Ren moves through the trees -- until he STOPS. Takes
out the saber, ignites it.
A still figure amidst the gusts of wind and snow.

STANDING THIRTY FEET AWAY, FACING HIM, ARE FINN AND REY.
Finn holds LUKE'S LIGHTSABER, Rey the Stormtrooper BLASTER.

KYLO REN
We're not done yet.

REY
You're a monster!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

KYLO REN
It's just us now. Han Solo can't
save you.
After a beat, Rey moves forward with the blaster -- AIMS IT!
Kylo Ren RAISES A HAND -- Rey struggles under his FORCE POWER --
she can't fire -- he strains too, especially with the WOUND
Chewie inflicted. Kylo Ren GESTURES POWERFULLY -- Rey's
BLASTER FLIES OUT OF HER HAND -- another GESTURE and Rey
FLIES BACK and SLAMS INTO A TREE thirty feet away!
She drops -- LANDS HARD in the snow. Dazed, hurt.

FINN
Rey! Rey! Rey... Rey... Oh no. Oh
no no no...
Finn turns to her, afraid and concerned. But the SOUND OF
KYLO REN'S LIGHTSABER moving makes Finn TURN BACK TO KYLO
REN, lit by the glowing YELLOW AND RED BLADE.

KYLO REN

TRAITOR!
In reply, Finn TURNS ON LUKE'S LIGHTSABER -- upon seeing the
weapon, Kylo Ren REACTS IN SHOCK.

KYLO REN (CONT'D)
That lightsaber. It belongs to me!

FINN
Come get it.
Despite his fear, Finn raises his blade in welcome. Kylo
Ren CHARGES at him - Finn terrified -- Kylo Ren LUNGES but
Finn DEFLECTS Ren's SPARK-SPITTING blade!
Kylo Ren TURNS, ATTACKS, CUTS -- amazingly Finn BLOCKS,
COUNTER-ATTACKS -- clearly IMPRESSES KYLO REN, who only enjoys
this challenge more!
Rey RECOVERS, gets her bearings. Her eyes focus on the two
men fighting, through the trees.
Kylo Ren is obviously hampered by his wound, yet he attacks
with a primal SAVAGERY -- Finn BLOCKS, turning DEFENSIVE
moves into OFFENSIVE ones. And he ACTUALLY GETS A HIT IN!
LUKE'S SABER GRAZING KYLO REN'S ARM! Kylo MOVES BACK --
wounded, but more enraged than weakened. Kylo Ren CHARGES
AGAIN -- their WEAPONS POUND, SPARKS FLY, their blades LOCK,
the men are CLOSE, LIT BY the powerful, CRASHING sabers:
And Kylo Ren PUSHES FINN BACK, attacks with pure ferocity --
Finn is stunned -- unprepared for this fierceness.
Rey sees this -- Kylo Ren unleashes a MERCILESS SERIES OF
BLOWS, pushing Finn further and further back until he loses
balance.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
That's when KYLO REN STRIKES: HE LANDS A BLOW TO FINN'S TORSO --

LUKE'S LIGHTSABER FLIES FROM FINN'S HAND, THROWN TWENTY FEET!
Kylo Ren TURNS OFF HIS LIGHTSABER and REACHES FOR LUKE'S

LIGHTSABER -- BECKONING IT WITH THE FORCE.

LUKE'S LIGHTSABER VIBRATES IN THE SNOW.
Kylo Ren GESTURES, INCREASES HIS POWER -- LUKE'S LIGHTSABER

FINALLY FLIES OUT OF THE SNOW, BULLETS TOWARD KYLO REN --

-- AND SPEEDS PAST HIM!

KYLO REN TURNS TO SEE LUKE'S LIGHTSABER LAND IN THE HAND OF

REY, WHO STANDS, FACING HIM, HAVING REACHED FOR IT HERSELF,

BUT UTTERLY STUNNED THAT IT LANDED IN HER HAND! SHE IS

SHOCKED -- AND SO IS KYLO REN!
Holding it with both hands, SHE IGNITES LUKE'S LIGHTSABER

FOR THE FIRST TIME, HER EYES BLAZING.
Kylo Ren IGNITES HIS SABER.
It's REY who charges now -- Kylo Ren immediately on the
defensive. They BATTLE POWERFULLY -- He is clearly rocked
by her raw, innate skill.

INT. X-WING - NIGHT

NIV LEK
We just lost R-1!

JESS
We're overwhelmed! What do we do?
It isn't working!
Another pilot looks down -- SEES THE EXPLOSION -- coming
from the OSCILLATOR. Relatively small, it's an opening:

YOLO ZIFF
Black Leader, there's a brand new
hole in that oscillator. Looks like
our friends got in!

POE
Red Four! Red Six! Cover us!

LT. BASTIAN
I'm on it!

ELLO ASTY
Roger!

POE
Everybody else, hit the target hard!
Give it everything you got!
And the X-WINGS DIVE and BLAST the OSCILLATOR --

EXT. STARKILLER BASE - OSCILLATOR - NIGHT

Another two X-wings -- including Poe's -- soar through the
trench leading to the oscillator structure!

POE
I need some help here! I need some
help!

LT. BASTIAN
I'm coming in!

JESS
Watch out!

ELLO ASTY
I'm hit!
The alien pilot's X-wing is blasted to pieces.

POE
All teams - I'm going in! Pull up
and cover me!

NIV LEK
Copy that, Black Leader! Good luck,
Poe!
The trailing X-wings peel off as Poe's black fighter darts
into the fiery breach.

INT. STARKILLER BASE - CONTROL ROOM - NEAR DARKNESS

Outside, the SUN ALMOST COMPLETELY GONE -- PULL BACK THROUGH

THE WINDOW TO REVEAL A STARKILLER TECHNICIAN:

STARKILLER TECHNICIAN
Weapon at full capacity in thirty
seconds.

GENERAL HUX
Prepare to fire.

EXT. STARKILLER BASE - OSCILLATOR - NIGHT

Poe's X-wing weaves through the breach. A pursuing TIE
fighter does not clear the gap, leaving Poe to circle the
interior of the unguarded structure, firing volley after
volley of torpedoes.

EXT. STARKILLER BASE - OSCILLATOR - NIGHT

The remaining X-Wings -- including Poe's -- BLAST the place --
and the structure begins to CRATER, deep underground

EXPLOSIONS!

EXT. FOREST - NIGHT

Amid the BARE WHITE TREES, ONLY TWO LIGHTSABERS -- LUKE'S
BLUE AND REN'S YELLOW-RED -- ILLUMINATE the FLURRIES OF SNOW
as Rey and Kylo Ren BATTLE HARD.
She seems to be, impossibly, STRONGER THAN HE IS for half a
dozen blows -- until he FINDS HIS STRENGTH and FIGHTS BACK --
MOVING FORWARD and PUSHING REY BACK, into the forest.
Suddenly a COLOSSAL CHUNK OF THE FOREST RIGHT BEHIND REY
DROPS AWAY! Rey is suddenly fighting on the EDGE OF A

MASSIVE, BRAND NEW CLIFF!

KYLO REN
You need a teacher! I can show you
the ways of the Force!

REY
The Force.
Rey closes her eyes for a long beat. When Rey opens them,
she is centered, fortified, and she POUNDS BACK, SINGLE HANDED
SWIPES, hitting Ren's gnarly, spitting saber with incredible
FORCE. It's so fast now, so furious, that Kylo Ren FALLS
BACK -- She ATTACKS HARDER!
Ren gets up again but she HITS HIS SABER'S HILT -- HIS BLADE
GOES FLYING OFF, TUMBLING INTO THE SNOW -- and she SLASHES

AGAIN AND AGAIN AND HITS KYLO REN SQUARE IN THE HEAD AND

CHEST. HE GOES DOWN, SUDDENLY A FEARFUL MAN, A LARGE BURN
SCAR SLASHED ACROSS HIS FACE! He still reaches for his saber.
And she could kill him -- right now, with ONE VICIOUS STRIKE!
But she stops. Realizing she stands on a greater edge than
even the cliff -- the edge of the dark side. The earth
SHAKES. The earth splits. A gully forms.

INT. STARKILLER BASE - CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT

The area where the RALLY was held is now COLLAPSING into a
giant sink hole! We WHIP PAN to a YOUNG TECHNICIAN, who
watches this out the control room window in horror. He
hurries off, passing COLONEL DATOO, who admonishes:

COLONEL DATOO
Lieutenant, get back to your station!

YOUNG TECHNICIAN
(stops, fleetingly)
Just look. We won't survive -- even
Hux has gone!
As he hurries off, WE HEAR:

GENERAL HUX (V.O.)
Supreme Leader.

INT. STARKILLER BASE - ASSEMBLY ROOM - NIGHT

Hux stands before SNOKE'S IMAGE. Relative quiet here, but
distant SOUNDS OF DESTRUCTION. Hux tries to keep it together
but is horrified, heartsick:

GENERAL HUX
The fuel cells have ruptured. The
collapse of the planet has begun.
Snoke takes this in. Furious, desolate... knowing.

SNOKE
Leave the base at once and come to
me with Kylo Ren.

(GRIM)
It is time to complete his training.

EXT. FOREST - NIGHT

Rey turns, runs a hundred feet through the forest to:
FINN, who lies, near death, not far from where the GROUND
FELL AWAY. Rey falls to her knees near him, turns him over,
sees his cauterized but possibly fatal wound.

REY
Finn! Finn...
Tears come to her eyes as she lifts him, holds his lifeless
body in her arms. Snow flurries around them as she cries,
holding this boy who she just met, who she already adores.
They are left here to die -- nearby MORE TREES DROP as the
planet continues to COLLAPSE. And just as it seems like all
is lost... Her wet eyes look up to see:

LIGHTS RISE FROM THE NEWLY-FORMED CANYON -- IT'S A SHIP WE
KNOW -- IT'S THE MILLENNIUM FALCON -- and its lights

ILLUMINATE REY, WHOSE FACE FILLS WITH HOPE!
CHEWIE IS AT THE CONTROLS. He ROARS to them!

EXT. FALCON - NIGHT

Chewie exits the ship.
MOMENTS LATER Chewie CARRIES FINN up the ramp. Rey hurries
with them back into the ship --

INT. FALCON - NIGHT

Chewie carries Finn inside, followed by Rey.

EXT. SPACE - NIGHT

And we FLY WITH THE FALCON as it leaves the planet -- we can
see CHEWIE AND REY PILOTING, the COLLAPSING PLANET BEHIND
US. The Resistance X-wings, led by Poe, follow the Falcon.

INT. X-WING - NIGHT

POE
All teams! I got eyes on them!

SNAP
Yes!
The X-wings ROAR OFF, skyward as the MUSIC SOARS, the PLANET
IMPLODES -- THE SUNLIGHT IT CONTAINS BURSTS FORTH, and as we
get further and further distance from what was Starkiller
Base, we witness the REBIRTH OF A SUN. Light restored to a
corner of the galaxy.
The Millennium Falcon and the X-wings RIP THROUGH SPACE,
headed home.

POE
Our job's done here. Let's go home!

EXT. D'QAR - DAY

ESTABLISHING SHOT as the Falcon on the landing strip.

EXT. RESISTANCE BASE - DAY

The Falcon has landed among the remaining Resistance ships.
Poe is there, watching as Chewie scuttles down the ramp
carrying an unconscious Finn. Medical Personnel and Officers,
meet them, usher them inside.

MEDIC
Easy, easy. He's hurt. We've got a
heartbeat.
Rey walks down the ramp and sees, for the first time, Leia.
C-3PO and BB-8 behind her. The crowds are cheering.
Rey is so sad for Leia, so sorry.
The two women move for each other. And Leia takes Rey's
face in her hands. Despite her heartbreak, she is grateful.
She embraces Rey. A mother's embrace.
Rey cries, too, in this emotional first meeting.

INT. RESISTANCE BASE - DAY

Chewbacca sits quietly, as do many in the base, mourning
their losses.
As BB-8 approaches R2-D2, the long dormant droid suddenly
stirs. The droids beep at each other.

C-3PO
R2-D2! You've come back! You found
what? How dare you call me that!

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

C-3PO (CONT'D)
(he swats R2-D2, who

CONTINUES BEEPING)
Find Master Luke how? Come, R2! We
must go tell the others at once!

INT. RESISTANCE BASE - DAY

Leia stands alone and in silence, heartbroken.

C-3PO (O.S.)
General? Excuse me, General?
Leia turns to see droids.

C-3PO (CONT'D)
R2-D2 may contain some much needed
good news.

LEIA
Tell me.
Rey stands with Leia, Poe C-3PO, BB-8 and a handful of
Resistance Officers. Suddenly R2-D2 PROJECTS A HOLOGRAM! A

LARGE NAVIGATIONAL MAP WITH A SPECIFIC MISSING CHUNK!
BB-8 BEEPS -- Poe turns to him --

POE
Yeah, all right, buddy, hold on --
Poe runs over -- removes the ancient data device that Lor
San Tekka had given him from a base computer. He inserts it
back inside BB-8, who then PROJECTS HIS MAP -- which he
SHRINKS DOWN TO SIZE -- and the two droids MOVE SLIGHTLY --

TOGETHER -- THE TWO HOLOGRAMS UNITE, BB-8'S PIECE FILLING IN

R2-D2'S PERFECTLY!
Everyone REACTS -- amazed --

C-3PO
Oh! The map! It is complete!

LEIA
(hand on her heart)
-- Luke --
Suddenly there are CHEERS AND EMBRACES.
C-3PO leans down to R2-D2 and says, quietly, sweetly:

C-3PO
(to R2-D2)
Oh my dear friend. How I've missed
you.

INT. RESISTANCE BASE - I.C.U. - DAY

A NEW DAY. Finn, unconscious in an I.C.U. POD. His fate
uncertain. Rey sits with him. Deeply worried. Finally she
leans in, close to him. She kisses him and says, quietly,
despite her fear:

REY
We'll see each other again. I believe
that. Thank you, my friend.

EXT. D'QAR - DAY

Chewie does last minute checks of the Falcon. Rey stands
with Leia a beat and then turns to head to the Falcon. As
Rey walks off, she hears Leia call out:

LEIA
Rey.
Rey turns around.

LEIA (CONT'D)
May the Force be with you.
This fills Rey up. She smiles gratefully. Rey crosses to
the Falcon.

INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - COCKPIT - DAY

Rey sits in the pilot seat, Chewie as co-pilot. Rey looks
at him compassionately.
Rey FLICKS SWITCHES and --

EXT. D'QAR - DAY

The Millennium Falcon RISES.
Leia, with Poe, BB-8, and C-3PO (with his proper arm
replaced), watches the next generation of Jedi begin her
journey.

EXT. SPACE - DAY

The Falcon FLIES through space and BLASTS to LIGHTSPEED.

EXT. AHCH-TO - DAY

A pristine and mighty OCEAN. Endless BLUE, dotted with
random, beautiful, mountainous BLACK ROCK ISLANDS, dotted
with countless GREEN TREES.
The Millennium Falcon FLIES INTO VIEW, BANKS toward one of
the ISLANDS.

EXT. AHCH-TO ISLAND - DAY

Rey, her staff strapped to her back, begins her hike up the
considerable mountain, glancing back at Chewie and R2-D2,
who watch her from the bottom of the ramp. A deep breath
and Rey continues her journey.

EXT. AHCH-TO ISLAND - STONE STAIRS - DAY

Built within the rock and foliage of this idyllic island are
seemingly endless ANCIENT STONE STEPS. Rey continues to
climb them, determined, despite her fatigue.

EXT. AHCH-TO ISLAND - STONE STRUCTURES - DAY

Rey arrives at a clearing. Small, modest, primitive stone
structures. But no one around. Rey walks past them, sees,
senses no one.

And then she stops. Feels something. She turns.
Standing forty feet away from her, his back to us, is a MAN,
in a CLOAK AND ROBE.

Rey stares, knowing exactly who it is. But she just stares
for what seems like forever. Until he finally TURNS, SLOWLY,
to her. Pulls back his hood.

IT IS LUKE SKYWALKER.

Older now, white hair, bearded. He looks at Rey. A kindness
in his eyes, but there's something tortured, too. He doesn't
need to ask her who she is, or what she is doing here. His
look says it all.

In response, Rey pulls something from the pack.

LUKE'S LIGHTSABER.
And she holds it out to him. An offer. A plea. The galaxy's
only hope.

HOLD ON LUKE SKYWALKER'S INCREDIBLE FACE, amazed and
conflicted at what he sees, as our MUSIC BUILDS, the promise
of an adventure, just beginning...

THE END

| Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Writers : Lawrence Kasdan J.J. Abrams Michael Arndt
Genres : Action Adventure Fantasy

User Comments

Back to IMSDb

2017-01-13 17:31:42 UTC

MONTY PYTHON

                                     and

                                THE HOLY GRAIL

then:

                      M0nti Pyth0n ik den H0lie Gralen



FADE OUT:

 FADE IN:



                           Written and preformed by:

                             GRAHAM CHAPMAN

                             JOHN CLEESE

                             ERIC IDLE

                             TERRY GILLIAM

                             TERRY JONES

                             MICHAEL PALIN

then:

                           R0tern nik Akten Di

FADE OUT:

 FADE IN:

                                  with

                             CONNIE BOOTH

                             CAROL CLEVELAND

                             NEIL INNES

                             BEE DUFFELL

                             JOHN YOUNG

                             RITA DAVES

then:

                                  Wik

TITLE OUT:

 TITLE IN:

                             Also appearing

                             AVRIL STEWART

                             SALLY KINGHORN

then:

                                Als0 wik

FADE OUT:

 FADE IN:

                           Also also appearing

                 MARK ZYCOON           ELSPETH CAMERON

                 MITSUKO FORSTATER     SALLY JOHNSON

                 SANDY ROSE            ROMILLY SQUIE

                 JONI FLNN             ALISON WALKER

                 LORAINE WARD          ANNA LANSKI

                 SALLY COOMBE          VIVIENNE MACDONALD

                 YVONNE DICK           DAPHNE DARLING

                 FIONA GORDON          GLORIA GRAHAM

                 JUDY LAMS             TRACY SNEDDON

                 SYLVIA TAYLOR         JOYCE POLLNER

                              MARY ALLEN

then:

                            Als0 als0 wik

TITLE OUT:

 TITLE IN:

                Camera Operator       HOWARD ATHERTON

                   Camera Focus       JOHN WELLARD

               Camera Assistant       ROGER PRATT

                    Camera Grip       RAY HALL

         Chargehand Electrician       TERRY HUNT

                       Lighting       TELEFILM LIGHTING SERVICE LTD

                                      ANDREW RICHIE AND SON LTD

                                      TECHNICOLOR

              Rosturm Cameraman       KENT HOUSTON

then:

               Wi n0t trei a h0liday in Sweden thi yer?

TITLE OUT:

 TITLE IN:

                Sound Recordist       GARTH MARSHALL

                    Sound Mixer       HUGH STRAIN

                   Boom Swinger       GODFREY KIRBY

              Sound Maintenance       PHILIP CHUBB

                Sound Assistant       ROBERT DOYLE

                 Dubbing Editor       JOHN FOSTER

              Assistant Editors       JOHN MISTER, NICK GASTER,

                                      ALEXANDER CAMPBELL ASKEW,

                                      BRIAN PEACHEY, DANIELLE KOCHAVI

                  Sound Effects       IAN CRAFFORD

then:

                          See the l0veli lakes

TITLE OUT:

TITLE IN:

                     Continuity       PENNY EYLES

                     Accountant       BRIAN BROCKWELL

           Production Secretary       CHRISTINE WATT

                 Property Buyer       BRIAN WINTERBORN

                Property Master       TOM RAEBURN

                   Property Men       ROY CANNON, CHARLIE TORBETT,

                                      MIKE KENNEDY

                       Catering       RON HELLARD LTD

                       Vehicles       BUDGET RENT-A-CAR

then:

                    The W0nderful teleph0ne system

TITLE OUT:

 TITLE IN:

         Assistant Art Director       PHILIP COWLAM

           Construction Manager       BILL HARMAN

                     Carpenters       NOBBY CLARK, BOB DEVINE

                        Painter       GRAHAM BULLOCK

                     Stagehand        JIM N. SAVERY

                        Rigger        ED SULLIVAN

then:

                  And mani interesting furry animals

 TITLE IN:

TITLE OUT:

                       With special extra thanks to

           Charlie Knode, Brian McNully, John Gledhill, Peter

           Thompson, Sue Cable, Valerie Charlton, Drew Mara,

           Sue Smith, Charlie Coulter, Iain Monaghan, Steve

           Bennell, Bernard Belenger, Alpini McAlpine, Hugh

           Boyle, Dave Taylor, Garry Cooper, Peter Saunders, Less

           Sheppard, Vaughn Millard, Mamish MacInnes, Terry Mosaic,

           Bawn O'Beirne Ranelagh.



           Made entirely on location in Scotland at Doune Castle,

           Castle Stalker, Killin, Glen Coe, Arnhall Castle,

           Braklim falls, Sherroffmiur.



           By Python (Monty) Pictures Ltd., 20, Fitzroy Square,

           London W1 England.

            And completed at Twickenham Film Studios, England.



           Copyright (c) 1974 National Film Trustee Company Lt.

                            All Rights Reserved.

then:

     The producers would like to thank the Forestry Commission

     Doune Admissions Ltd, Keir and Cawdor Estates, Stirling

     University, and the people of Doune for their help in the

     making of this film.



     The Characters and incidents portrayed and the names used

     are fictitious and any similarity to the names, characters,

     or history of any person is entirely accidental and

                            unintentional.



                                  Signed RICHARD M. NIXON



                    Including the majestic m00se

 TITLE IN:

TITLE OUT:

                              Songs

                           NEIL INNIS



                        Additional music

                            DEWOLFE

then:

                 A M00se once bit my sister ...

 TITLE IN:

TITLE OUT:

                        Costume Designer

                          HAZEL PETHING

then:

      No realli!  She was Karving her initals on the m00se

      with the sharpened end of an interspace t00thbrush given

      by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and

      star of many Norwegian m0vies: "The H0t Hands of an Oslo

      Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge M0lars of Horst

                               Nordfink".

TITLE OUT:

 TITLE IN:

                  We apologise for the fault in the

                subtitles. Those responsible have been

                              sacked.

then:

              Mynd you, m00se bites Kan be pretty nasti ...

TITLE OUT:

 TITLE IN:

              We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles.  Those

              responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked

                          have been sacked.

FADE OUT:

 FADE IN:

            Production Manager        JULLIAN DOYLE

            Assistant Director        GERRY HARRISON

               Special Effects        JOHN HORTON

                  Choreography

              Fight Director &

             Period Consultant        JOHN WALKER

               Make-up Artists        PEARL RASHBASS, PAM LUKE

                   Photography        JULLIAN DOYLE

          Animation Assistance        LUCINDA COWELL, KATE HEPBURN

              M00se Trained by        TUTTE HERMSGERV0RDENBR0TB0RDA

DISSOLVE TO:

              Lighting Cameraman       TERRY BEDFORD

          Special M00se Effects       OLAF PROT

                 M00se Costumes       SIGGI CHURCHILL

DISSOLVE TO:

                       Designer       ROY SMITH

         M00se Choreographed by       HORST PROT III

        Miss Taylor's M00ses by       HENGST DOUGLAS-HOME

        M00se trained to mix

        concrete and sign com-

        plicated insurance

                       forms by       JURGEN WIGG

DISSOLVE TO:

                         Editor       JOHN HACKNEY

         M00ses' noses wiped by       BJORN IRKESTORM-SLATER WALKER



        Large m00se on the left

        half side of the screen

        in the third scene from

       the end,given a thorough

        grounding in Latin,

        French and "O" Level

                  Geography by       BO BENN



       Suggestive poses for the

             M00se suggested by      VIC ROTTER

                 Antler-care by      LIV THATCHER

TITLE OUT:

 TITLE IN:

             The directors of the firm hired to

             continue the credits after the other

             people had been sacked, with it to

             be known that they have just been

             sacked.



             The credits have been completed

             in an entirely different style at

             great expense and at the last

             minute.

FADE OUT:

         TITLE ON YELLOW B.G

                            Executive Producer

               JOHN GOLDSTONE & "RALPH" The Wonder Llama

TITLE OUT:

 TITLE IN:

                                Producer

                             MARK FORSTARTER



                               Assisted by

                              EARL J. LLAMA

                           MIKE Q. LLAMA III

                                SY LLAMA

                            MERLE Z. LLAMA IX

TITLE OUT:

 TITLE IN:

                              Directed by

                          40 SPECIALLY TRAINED

                        ECUADORIAN MOUNTAIN LLAMAS

                         6 VENEZUELAN RED LLAMAS

                       142 MEXICAN WHOOPING LLAMAS

                        14 NORTH CHILEAN GUANACOS

                      (CLOSELY RELATED TO THE LLAMA)

                          REG LLAMA OF BRIXTON

                          76000 BATTERY LLAMAS

                FROM "LLAMA-FRESH" FARMS LTD. NEAR PARAGUAY

                                   and

                        TERRY GILLIAM AND TERRY JONES

FADE OUT:



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                       "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



1  EXTERIOR - CASTLE WALLS - DAY



   Mist.  Several seconds of it swirling about.  silence

   possibly, atmospheric music.  SUPERIMPOSE "England AD 787".

   after a few more seconds we hear hoofbeats in the distance.

   They come slowly closer.  Then out of the mist comes KING ARTHUR

   followed by a SERVANT who is banging two half coconuts

   together.   ARTHUR raises his hand.



                              ARTHUR

       Whoa there!



   SERVANT makes noises of horses halting, with a flourish.  ARTHUR

   peers through the mist.  CUT TO shot from over his shoulder:

   castle (e.g. Bodium) rising out of the mist.  On the castle

   battlements a SOLDIER is dimly seen.  He peers down.



                               SOLDIER

       Halt!  Who goes there?



                               ARTHUR

       It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle

       of Camelot.  King of all Britons, defeator of the Saxons,

       sovereign of all England!



   Pause.



                               SOLDIER

       Get away!



                               ARTHUR

       I am...  And this my trusty servant, Patsy. We have ridden the

       length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join

       our court at Camelot..  I must speak with your lord and master.



                               SOLDIER

       What?  Ridden on a horse?



                               ARTHUR

       Yes!



                               SOLDIER

       You're using coconuts!



                               ARTHUR

       ...What?



                               SOLDIER

       You've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging

       them together.



                               ARTHUR

           (Scornfully)

       So?  We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this

       land, through the kingdom of Mercea.



                               SOLDIER

       Where did you get the coconuts?



                               ARTHUR

       Through ... We found them.



                               SOLDIER

       Found them?  In Mercea.  The coconut's tropical!



                               ARTHUR

       What do you mean?



                               SOLDIER

       Well, this is a temperate zone.



                               ARTHUR

       The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house martin

       or the plover seek warmer hot lands in winter, yet these are

       not strangers to our land.



                               SOLDIER

       Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?



                               ARTHUR

       Not at all.  They could be carried.



                               SOLDIER

       What? A swallow carrying a coconut?



|                               ARTHUR

|       Why not?

|

|                               SOLDIER

|       I'll tell you why not ... because a swallow is about eight

|       inches long and weighs five ounces, and you'd be lucky

|       to find a coconut under a pound.

|



                               ARTHUR

       It could grip it by the husk ...



                               SOLDIER

       It's not a question of where he grips it,  It's a simple

       matter of weight - ratios ...  A five-ounce bird could not

       hold a a one pound coconut.



                               ARTHUR

       Well, it doesn't matter.   Go and tell your master that

       Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.



   A Slight pause.  Swirling mist.  Silence.



                               SOLDIER

       Look! To maintain Velocity, a swallow needs to beat

       its wings four hundred and ninety three times every

       second.   right?



                               ARTHUR

           (irritated)

       Please!



                               SOLDIER

       Am I right?



                               ARTHUR

       I'm not interested.



                               SECOND SOLDIER

           (who has loomed up on the battlements)

       It could be carried by an African swallow!



                               FIRST SOLDIER

       Oh  yes! An African swallow maybe ... but not a European

       swallow. that's my point.



                               SECOND SOLDIER

       Oh yes, I agree there ...



                               ARTHUR

           (losing patience)

       Will you ask your master if he wants to join the Knights

       of Camelot?!



                               FIRST SOLDIER

       But then of course African swallows are non-migratory.



                               SECOND SOLDIER

       Oh yes.



   ARTHUR raises his eyes heavenwards and nods to PATSY.  They turn

   and go off into the mist.



                               FIRST SOLDIER

       So they wouldn't be able to bring a coconut back anyway.



                               SECOND SOLDIER



       Wait a minute! Suppose two swallows carried it together?



                               FIRST SOLDIER

       No, they'd have to have it on a line.



   Stillness.  Silence again.





2  ANIMATION/LIVE ACTION SEQUENCE - DEATH AND DEVASTATION



   CUT TO Terry Gilliam's sequence of Brueghel prints.  Sounds of

   strange medieval music.  Discordant and sparse.  Wailings and

   groanings.  The last picture mixes through into live action.

   BIG CLOSE UP of contorted face upside down.  A leg falls across

   it.  Creaking noise.  The bodies lurch away from CAMERA to

   reveal they are amongst a huge pile of bodies on a swaying cart

   that is lumbering away from CAMERA.  It is pulled by a couple of

   ragged, dirty emaciated WRETCHES.  Behind the cart walks another

   MAN who looks slightly more prosperous, but only on the scale

   of complete and utter impoverishment.  He wears a black hood and

   looks sinister.



                               CART DRIVER

       Bring out your dead!



   We follow the cart through a wretched, impoverished plague-ridden

   village.  A few starved mongrels run about in the mud scavenging.

   In the open doorway of one house perhaps we jug glimpse a pair of

   legs dangling from the ceiling.  In another doorway an OLD WOMAN

   is beating a cat against a wall rather like one does with a mat.

   The cart passes round a dead donkey or cow in the mud.  And a MAN

   tied to a cart is being hammered to death by four NUNS with

   huge mallets.



                               CART DRIVER



       Bring out your dead!



   There are legs stick out of windows and doors.  Two MEN are fighting

   in the mud - covered from head to foot in it.  Another MAN is on his

   hands in knees shovelling mud into his mouth.  We just catch

   sight of a MAN falling into a well.



                               CART DRIVER

       Bring out your dead!



                               LARGE MAN

       Here's one!



                               CART DRIVER

       Ninepence.



                               BODY

       I'm not dead!



                               CART DRIVER

       What?



                               LARGE MAN

       Nothing... There's your ninepence.



                               BODY

       I'm not dead!



                               CART DRIVER

       'Ere.  He says he's not dead.



                               LARGE MAN

       Yes he is.



                               BODY

       I'm not!



                               CART DRIVER

       He isn't.



                               LARGE MAN

       He will be soon. He's very ill.



                               BODY

       I'm getting better!



                               LARGE MAN

       You're not.   You'll be stone dead in a few minutes.



                               CART DRIVER

       I can't take him like this.  It's against regulations.



                               BODY

       I don't want to go on the cart.



                               LARGE MAN

       Don't be such a baby.



                               CART DRIVER

       I can't take him.



                               BODY

       I feel fine.



                               LARGE MAN

       Do me a favour.



                               CART DRIVER

       I can't.



                               LARGE MAN

       Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes.  He won't

       be long.



                               CART DRIVER

       I promised I'd be at the Robinson's.  They've lost nine

       today.



                               LARGE MAN

       When's your next round?



                               CART DRIVER

       Thursday.



                               BODY

       I think I'll go for a walk.



                               LARGE MAN

       You're not fooling anyone you know.

           (to CART DRIVER)

       Isn't there anything you could do?



                               BODY

           (singing unrecognisably)

       I feel happy... I feel happy.



   The CART DRIVER looks at the LARGE MAN for a moment.  Then they both

   do a quick furtive look up and down the street.  The CART DRIVER

   very swiftly brings up a club and hits the OLD MAN. (Out of shot

   but the singing stops after a loud bonk noise.)



                               LARGE MAN

           (handing over the money at last)

       Thanks very much.



                               CART DRIVER

       That's all right.  See you on Thursday.



   They turn ... Suddenly all the village fall to their knees, touching

   forelocks etc.  ARTHUR and PATSY ride into SHOT, slightly nose to

   the air, they ride through without acknowledging anybody.  After

   they pass, the LARGE MAN turns to the CART DRIVER.



                               LARGE MAN

       Who's that then?



                               CART DRIVER

           (Grudgingly)

       I dunno, Must be a king.



                               LARGE MAN

       Why?



                               CART DRIVER

       He hasn't got shit all over him.





3  EXTERIOR - DAY



   ARTHUR and PATSY riding.  They stop and look.  We see a castle in the

   distance, and before it a PEASANT is working away on his knees trying

   to dig up the earth with his bare hands and a twig.  ARTHUR and

   PATSY ride up, and stop before the PEASANT



                               ARTHUR

       Old woman!



                               DENNIS

       Man!



                               ARTHUR

       Man.  I'm sorry.  Old man, What knight live in that castle

       over there?



                               DENNIS

       I'm thirty-seven.



                               ARTHUR

       What?



                               DENNIS:

       I'm thirty-seven ... I'm not old.



                               ARTHUR:

       Well - I can't just say:  "Hey, Man!'



                               DENNIS

       Well you could say: "Dennis"



                               ARTHUR

       I didn't know you were called Dennis.



                               DENNIS

       You didn't bother to find out, did you?



                               ARTHUR

       I've said I'm sorry about the old woman, but from the behind

       you looked ...



                               DENNIS

       What I object to is that you automatically treat me like

       an inferior ...



                               ARTHUR

       Well ... I AM king.



                               DENNIS

       Oh, very nice. King, eh!  I expect you've got a palace and fine

       clothes and courtiers and plenty of food.  And how d'you get that?

       By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist

       dogma which perpetuates the social and economic differences in our

       society!  If there's EVER going to be any progress ...



   An OLD WOMAN appears.



                               OLD WOMAN

       Dennis! There's some lovely filth down here ...  Oh!

       how d'you do?



                               ARTHUR

       How d'you do, good lady ... I am Arthur, King of the Britons ...

       can you tell me who lives in that castle?



                               OLD WOMAN

       King of the WHO?



                               ARTHUR

       The Britons.



                               OLD WOMAN

       Who are the Britons?



                               ARTHUR

       All of us are ... we are all Britons.



   DENNIS winks at the OLD WOMAN.



       ... and I am your king ....



                               OLD WOMAN

       Ooooh!  I didn't know we had a king.  I thought we were

       an autonomous collective ...



                               DENNIS

       You're fooling yourself.  We're living in a dictatorship,

       A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes ...



                               OLD WOMAN

       There you are, bringing class into it again ...



                               DENNIS

       That's what it's all about ...  If only -



                               ARTHUR

       Please, please good people.  I am in haste.  What knight lives in

       that castle?



                               OLD WOMAN

       No one live there.



                               ARTHUR

       Well, who is your lord?



                               OLD WOMAN

       We don't have a lord.



                               ARTHUR

       What?



                               DENNIS

       I told you,  We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune,  we take

       it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.



                               ARTHUR

       Yes.



                               DENNIS

       ... But all the decision of that officer ...



                               ARTHUR

       Yes, I see.



                               DENNIS

       ... must be approved at a bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority

       in the case of purely internal affairs.



                               ARTHUR

       Be quiet!



                               DENNIS

       ... but a two-thirds majority ...



                               ARTHUR

       Be quiet!  I order you to shut up.



                               OLD WOMAN

       Order, eh -- who does he think he is?



                               ARTHUR

       I am your king!



                               OLD WOMAN

       Well, I didn't vote for you.



                               ARTHUR

       You don't vote for kings.



                               OLD WOMAN

       Well, how did you become king, then?



                               ARTHUR

       The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite,

       held Excalibur aloft from the bosom of the water to signify by

       Divine Providence ...  that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur ...

       That is why I am your king!

|

|                              OLD WOMAN

|      Is Frank in?  He'd be able to deal with this one.

|

                               DENNIS

       Look,  strange women lying on their backs in ponds handing out

       swords ... that's no basis for a system of government.  Supreme

       executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from

       some farcical aquatic ceremony.



                               ARTHUR

       Be quiet!



                               DENNIS

       You can't expect to wield supreme executive power

       just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!



                               ARTHUR

       Shut up!



                               DENNIS

       I mean, if I went around saying I was an Emperor because some

       moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, people would

       put me away!



                               ARTHUR

           (Grabbing him by the collar)

       Shut up, will you. Shut up!



                               DENNIS

       Ah! NOW ... we see the violence inherent in the system.



                               ARTHUR

       Shut up!



   PEOPLE (i.e. other PEASANTS) are appearing and watching.



                               DENNIS

           (calling)

       Come and see the violence inherent in the system.

       Help, help, I'm being repressed!



                               ARTHUR

           (aware that people are now coming out and watching)

       Bloody peasant!

           (pushes DENNIS over into mud and prepares to ride off)



                               DENNIS

       Oh, Did you hear that!  What a give-away.



                               ARTHUR

       Come on, patsy.



   They ride off.



                               DENNIS

           (in the background as we PULL OUT)

       did you see him repressing me, then?  That's what I've

       been on about ...





4  EXTERIOR - FOREST - DAY



   MIX THROUGH to ARTHUR and PATSY riding through the forest.  They pass rune

   stones.  We TRACK with them.  CLOSE-UPS of their faces as they ride.

   MIX to another TRACKING SHOT of them riding through the forest.  They

   come to a clearing and stop, looking ahead intently. Their eyes light up.



   Sound FX of fight.



   CUT TO their eyeline.  A clearing on the other side of which is a rough

   wooden foot-bridge across a stream.   At the start of the bridge a

   tremendous fight is going on.  A huge BLACK KNIGHT in black armour, his

   face totally masked in a visor, is fighting a slightly smaller KNIGHT in

   green armour.  (Perhaps the GREEN KNIGHT's armour is identical to the

   BLACK KNIGHT's save for the colour.)



   CUT BACK TO ARTHUR and PATSY.  They watch, growing more impressed

   as they watch the fight.



   CUT BACK TO the fight.  The GREEN KNIGHT lunges at the BLACK KNIGHT, who

   avoids the blow with a skillful side-step and parry, knocking the sword

   out of the GREEN KNIGHT's hand.



   CUT BACK TO ARTHUR and PATSY even more impressed.



   CUT BACK TO the fight.  The GREEN KNIGHT has drawn out a particularly nasty

   mace or spiked ball and chain, much longer than the BLACK KNIGHT's sword.



   ARTHUR narrows his eyes, wondering whether the BLACK KNIGHT will survive.



   CUT BACK to the fight. The GREEN KNIGHT swings at the BLACK KNIGHT, who

   ducks under the first swing, leaps over the second and starts to close

   on the GREEN KNIGHT.



   CUT BACK TO ARTHUR and PATSY watching like a tennis match. Sound FX of the

   fight reaching a climax.  Four almighty clangs.  Then Silence.



   CUT BACK to see the GREEN KNIGHT stretched out.  The BLACK KNIGHT

   sheathes his sword.



   ARTHUR looks at PATSY.  Nods and they move forward.



   CUT BACK TO the BLACK KNIGHT picking up the GREEN KNIGHT above his head

   and hurling him into the river.  ARTHUR and PATSY approach him.



                               ARTHUR

       You fight with the strength of many men, Sir knight.



|                              BLACK KNIGHT

|      Who dares to challenge the Black Knight?

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      I do not challenge you.



   The BLACK KNIGHT stares impassively and says nothing.



                               ARTHUR

       I am Arthur, King of the Britons.



   Hint of a pause as he waits for a reaction which dosn't come. ARTHUR is

   only slightly thrown.



       ... I seek the bravest and the finest knights in all

       the world to join me in my court at Camelot ...



   The BLACK KNIGHT remains silent



                               ARTHUR

       You have proved yourself worthy. ... Will you join me?



   Silence.



|                              ARTHUR

|      A man of your strength and skill would be the chief of all

|      my knights ...

|

|                              BLACK KNIGHT

|      Never.

|

                               ARTHUR

       You make me sad.  But so be it.  Come Patsy.



   As he moves, the BLACK KNIGHT bars the way.



                               BLACK KNIGHT

       None shall pass.



                               ARTHUR

       What?



                               BLACK KNIGHT

       None shall pass.



                               ARTHUR

       I have no quarrel with you, brave Sir knight, but I must

       cross this bridge.



                               BLACK KNIGHT

       Then you shall die.



                               ARTHUR

       I command you, as King of the Britons to stand aside.



                               BLACK KNIGHT

       I move for no man.



                               ARTHUR

       So be it!



   ARTHUR draws his sword and approaches the BLACK KNIGHT.  A furious fight

   now starts lasting about fifteen seconds at which point ARTHUR delivers

   a mighty blow which completely severs the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm at

   the shoulder.  ARTHUR steps back triumphantly.



                               ARTHUR

       Now stand aside worthy adversary.



                               BLACK KNIGHT

           (Glancing at his shoulder)

       'Tis but a scratch.



                               ARTHUR

       A scratch?  Your arm's off.



                               BLACK KNIGHT

       No, it isn't.



                               ARTHUR

           (Pointing to the arm on ground)

       Well, what's that then?



                               BLACK KNIGHT

       I've had worse.



                               ARTHUR

       You're a liar.



                               BLACK KNIGHT

       Come on you pansy!



   Another ten seconds furious fighting till ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHTS's

   other arm off, also at the shoulder.  The arm plus sword, lies on the ground.

                               ARTHUR

       Victory is mine.

           (sinking to his knees)

       I thank thee O Lord that in thy ...



                               BLACK KNIGHT

       Come on then.



                               ARTHUR

       What?



   He kicks ARTHUR hard on the side of the helmet.  ARTHUR gets up still

   holding his sword.  The BLACK KNIGHT comes after him kicking.



                               ARTHUR

       You are indeed brave Sir knight, but the fight is mine.



                               BLACK KNIGHT

       Had enough?



                               ARTHUR

       You stupid bastard.  You havn't got any arms left.



                               BLACK KNIGHT

       Course I have.



                               ARTHUR

       Look!



                               BLACK KNIGHT

       What!  Just a flesh wound.

           (kicks ARTHUR)



                               ARTHUR

       Stop that.



                               BLACK KNIGHT

           (kicking him)

       Had enough ... ?



                               ARTHUR

       I'll have your leg.



   He is kicked.



       Right!



   The BLACK KNIGHT kicks him again and ARTHUR chops his leg off.

   The BLACK KNIGHT keeps his balance with difficulty.



                               BLACK KNIGHT

       I'll do you for that.



                               ARTHUR

       You'll what ... ?



                               BLACK KNIGHT

       Come Here.



                               ARTHUR

       What are you going to do. bleed on me?



                               BLACK KNIGHT

       I'm invincible!



                               ARTHUR

       You're a looney.



                               BLACK KNIGHT

       The Black Knight always triumphs. Have at you!



   ARTHUR takes his last leg off.  The BLACK KNIGHT's body lands upright.



                               BLACK KNIGHT

       All right, we'll call it a draw.



                               ARTHUR

       Come, Patsy.



   ARTHUR and PATSY start to cross the bridge.



                               BLACK KNIGHT

       Running away eh?  You yellow bastard, Come back here and take

       what's coming to you.  I'll bite your legs off!





5  EXTERIOR - DAY



   A village.  Sound of chanting of Latin canon, punctuated by short, sharp

   cracks.  It comes nearer.  We see it is a line of MONKS ala SEVENTH SEAL

   flagellation scene, chanting and banging themselves on the foreheads with

   wooden boards.  They pass a group of villagers who are dragging a beautiful

   YOUNG WOMAN dressed as a witch through the streets.  They drag her to a

   strange house/ruin standing on a hill outside the village.  A

   strange-looking knight stands outside, SIR BEDEVERE.



                               FIRST VILLAGER

       We have found a witch.  May we burn her?



                               ALL

       A Witch! Burn her!



                               BEDEVERE

       How do you know she is a witch?



                               ALL

       She looks like one. Yes, she does.



                               BEDEVERE

       Bring her forward.



   They bring her forward - a beautiful YOUNG GIRL (MISS ISLINGTON) dressed up

   as a witch.



                               WITCH

       I am not a witch.  I am not a witch.



                               BEDEVERE

       But you are dressed as one.



                               WITCH

       They dressed me up like this.



                               ALL

       We didn't, we didn't!



                               WITCH

       This is not my nose,  It is a false one.



   BEDEVERE takes her nose off.



                               BEDEVERE

       Well?



                               FIRST VILLAGER

       ... Well, we did do the nose.



                               BEDEVERE

       The nose?



                               FIRST VILLAGER

       And the hat.  But she is a witch.



                               ALL

       A witch,  a witch,  burn her!



                               BEDEVERE

       Did you dress her up like this?



                               FIRST VILLAGER

       ... Um ... Yes ... no ... a bit ... yes... she has got a wart.



                               BEDEVERE

       Why do you think she is a witch?



                               SECOND VILLAGER

       She turned me into a newt.



                               BEDEVERE

       A newt?



                               SECOND VILLAGER

           (After looking at himself for some time)

       I got better.



                               ALL

       Burn her anyway.



                               BEDEVERE

       Quiet! Quiet!  There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.



   ARTHUR and PATSY ride up at this point and watch what follows with interest



                               ALL

       There are?  Tell up.  What are they, wise Sir Bedevere?



                               BEDEVERE

       Tell me ...  what do you do with witches?



                               ALL

       Burn them.



                               BEDEVERE

       And what do you burn, apart from witches?



                               FOURTH VILLAGER

       ... Wood?



                               BEDEVERE

       So why do witches burn?



                               SECOND VILLAGER

           (pianissimo)

       ... Because they're made of wood...?



                               BEDEVERE

       Good.



   PEASANTS stir uneasily then come round to this conclusion.



                               ALL

       I see.  Yes, of course.



                               BEDEVERE

       So how can we tell if she is made of wood?



                               FIRST VILLAGER

       Make a bridge out of her.



                               BEDEVERE

       Ah ... but can you not also make bridges out of stone?



                               ALL

       Ah.  Yes, of course ... um ... err ...



                               BEDEVERE

       Does wood sink in water?



                               ALL

       No, no,  It floats.   Throw her in the pond Tie weights on her.  To

       the pond.



                              BEDEVERE

       Wait.  Wait ... tell me, what also floats on water?



                               ALL

       Bread?  No, no, no.  Apples .... gravy ... very small rocks ...



                               ARTHUR

       A duck.



   They all turn and look at ARTHUR.  BEDEVERE looks up very impressed.



                               BEDEVERE

       Exactly.  So... logically ...



                               FIRST VILLAGER

           (beginning to pick up the thread)

       If she ... weighs the same as a duck ... she's made of wood.



                               BEDEVERE

       And therefore?



                               ALL

       A witch! ... A duck!  A duck!  Fetch a duck.



                               FOURTH VILLAGER

       Here is a duck, Sir Bedevere.



                               BEDEVERE

       We shall use my largest scales.



   He leads them a few yards to a very strange contraption indeed,  made of

   wood and rope and leather.  They put the GIRL in one pan and the duck

   in another.  Each pan is supported by a wooden stave.  BEDEVERE checks

   each pan then ... ARTHUR looks on with interest.



                               BEDEVERE

       Remove the supports.



   Two PEASANTS knock them away with sledge hammers.  The GIRL and the duck

   swing slightly but balance perfectly.



                               ALL

       A witch!  A witch!



                               WITCH

       It's a fair cop.



                               All

       Burn her!  Burn her!  Let's make her into a ladder.



   The VILLAGERS drag the girl away, leaving ARTHUR and BEDEVERE regarding

   each other admiringly.



                               BEDEVERE

       Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?



                               ARTHUR

       I am Arthur, King of the Britons.



                               BEDEVERE

       My liege ... forgive me ...



   ARTHUR looks at PATSY with obvious satisfaction.





                               ARTHUR

       Good Sir knight, will you come with me to Camelot,

       and join our number at the Round Table?



                               BEDEVERE

       My liege,  I am honored.



   ARTHUR steps forward, drawing his sword, with a slight hint of difficulty



                               ARTHUR

       What is your name?



                               BEDEVERE

       Bedevere, my Liege.



                               ARTHUR

       Then I dub you ... Sir Bedevere ... Knight of the Round Table!





|6  VARIOUS MONTAGE - ANIMATION

|

|                               VOICE OVER

|       And so King Arthur gathered his knights together ... bringing from all

|       the corners of the kingdom the strongest and bravest in the land ...

|       To sit at The Round Table ...

|

|   Under this voice over we have a montage of shots of ARTHUR recruiting

|   his Knights:

|

|   1.   ARTHUR, PATSY, BEDEVERE and PAGE riding through hillside.

|        MIX TO:

|

|   2.   A castle.  LONG SHOT of SIR GAWAIN standing outside and ARTHUR's

|        group approaching and shaking hands perhaps.

|

|   3.   MIX TO the group now plus SIR GAWAIN and PAGE (who is weighted

|        down by an enormous quantity of luggage) riding down by a stream

|        and approaching SIR HECTOR.  ARTHUR dubs him.

|

|   4.   MIX TO the group (now plus HECTOR and PAGE) approaching some group

|        of buildings or whatever.  In the distance SIR ROBIN is being taught

|        the lute by one of his MUSICIANS.  ARTHUR calls and SIR ROBIN

|        immediately reacts and hands the lute to his MUSICIAN and comes to

|        join ARTHUR & CO.

|

|   5.   MIX TO SIR GALAHAD surrounded by chickens.  He is wearing a carpenters

|        apron over his immaculate armour and is finishing off a hen-house.

|        We see the group approach and he throws off the apron and puts down

|        the hen-house and goes to join them.

|

|   6.   MIX TO the group riding along again.

|

|   7.   MIX TO SIR LAUNCELOT handing a BABY to his WIFE (who has several other

|        CHILDREN hanging about) and he strides off to join ARTHUR, leaving his

|        castle, WIFE and CHILDREN.  The castle (Eilean Donan) has washing

|        hanging outside it.  A real family castle.  There are at least

|        six kids.

|

|   8.   MIX TO the complete group, i.e. ARTHUR and PATSY, BEDEVERE and PAGE,

|        GAWAIN and PAGE, HECTOR and PAGE, GALAHAD and PAGE, SIR ROBIN and

|        six MUSICIANS, LAUNCELOT and PAGE.

+

+6  CLOSE-UP of a book on which is written:

+

+   THE BOOK OF THE FILM

+

+                               VOICE OVER

+       The wise Sir Bedevere was the first to join King Arthur's knights ...

+       but other illustrious names were soon to follow ...

+

+   Hand turns page.

+

+                               VOICE OVER

+       Sir Launcelot the Brave ...

+

+   Hand turns page.

+

+                               VOICE OVER

+       Sir Galahad the Pure ...

+

+   Hand turns page.

+

+                               VOICE OVER

+       And Sir Robin-the-not-quite-so-pure-as-Sir-Launcelot ...

+

+   Hand turns page.

+

+                               VOICE OVER

+       ... Who had nearly fought the Dragon of Agnor ...

+

+   Hand turns page.

+

+                               VOICE OVER

+       ... Who had nearly stood up to to the vicious Chicken of Bristol ...

+

+   Hand turns Page.

+

+                               VOICE OVER

+       ... and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill ...

+       and the aptly named ...

+

+   Hand turns page.

+                               VOICE OVER

+       Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film.

+

+   Hand turns page.

+

+                               VOICE OVER

+       Together they formed band whose names and deeds were to be retold

+       throughout the centuries ... The Knights of the Round Table ...

+

+   A gorilla's hand snatches away the hand.

+

+   Music swells and fades and we MIX THROUGH TO:





7  EXTERIOR - SUNSET



   Fairly close HEAD-ON SHOT of the KNIGHTS riding along. BEDEVERE and ARTHUR

   at the front of the group deep in conversation.



                               BEDEVERE

       And that, my lord, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped.



                               ARTHUR

       This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere.  Explain again how

       sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.



                               BEDEVERE

       OF course, my Liege ...



                               LAUNCELOT

           (he points)

       Look, my liege!



   They all stop and look.



                               ARTHUR

           (with thankful reverence)

       Camelot!



   CUT TO shot of amazing castle in the distance.  Illuminated in the rays of

   the setting sun.



   Music.



   CUT BACK TO ARTHUR and the group.  They are all staring with fascination.



                               GALAHAD

       Camelot ...



                               LAUNCELOT

       Camelot ...



                               GAWAIN

           (at the back, to PAGE)

       It's only a model.



                               ARTHUR

           (turning sharply)

       Sh!

           (to the rest)

       Knights!  I bid you welcome to your new home!  Let us ride ...

       to Camelot.





8  INTERIOR - NIGHT



   CUT TO interior of medieval hall.  A large group of armoured KNIGHTS are

   engaged in a well choreographed song-and-dance routine of the very up-beat

   'If they could see me now' type of fast bouncy number.  The poorer verses

   are made clearer by CUTTING to a group of knights actually engaged in

   the described task while the line itself is sung.  They sing:



                               KNIGHTS

       We're knights of the round table

       We dance whene'er we're able

       We do routines and chorus scenes

       With footwork impeccable.

       We dine well here in Camelot

       We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.



       We're knights of the Round Table

       Our shows are formidable

       But many times

       We're given rhymes

       That are quite unsingable

       We're opera mad in Camelot

       We sing from the diaphragm a lot.



   Booming basses.  A routine where two XYLOPHONISTS play parts of KNIGHTS'

   armour producing a pleasing effect.



       In war we're tough and able.

       Quite indefatigable

       Between our quests

       We sequin vests

       And impersonate Clark Gable

       It's a busy life in Camelot.



                               SINGLE MAN

       I have to push the pram a lot.



   CUT BACK TO ARTHUR and BEDEVERE and COMPANY as we had left them.



                               ARTHUR

       No, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot.



                               KNIGHTS

       Right!



                               ARTHUR

       It is a silly place.



   They set off again almost immediately they are suffused in ethereal radiance

   and strange heavenly choir music.  The PAGES, horselike, take fright for a

   moment, they whinny and rattle their coconuts.  ARTHUR and the KNIGHTS

   fall on their knees.  A holy voice booms out.



                               GOD

       Arthur!  Arthur ...  King of the Britons ...



   They all prostrate themselves even further



       Oh, don't grovel ... do get up!  If there's one thing I can't stand,

       it's people grovelling!!



   ARTHUR and COMPANY rise.



                               ARTHUR

       Sorry ...



                               GOD

       And don't apologize.  Every time I try to talk to someone it's

       sorry this and forgive me that and I'm not worthy and ...

       What are you doing now?



                               ARTHUR

       I'm averting my eyes, Lord.



                               GOD

       Well, don't.

|      I really don't know where all this got started.

       It's like those miserable psalms.  they're so depressing.

       Now knock it of



                               ARTHUR

       Yes, Lord.



                               GOD

       Right.  Arthur, King of the Britons, you're Knights of the Round

       Table shall have a task to make them an example in these dark times ...



                               ARTHUR

       Good idea, O Lord!



                               GOD

       Course it's a good idea.



   Suddenly another light glows beside GOD or possibly within the light which

   is GOD a shape slowly starts to form.



       Behold ... Arthur ... this is the Holy Grail ...

|      the Sacred Cup from which Christ drank at the Last Supper ...



   The form in the bright light is just discernible as an iridescent chalice

   ... the KNIGHTS gasp.



       Look well, Arthur ... for it is your sacred task to seek

       this Grail.



   It begins to fade.  Music crescendo as both lights fade.



       That is your purpose Arthur ... the Quest for the Holy Grail ...



   It is gone.  All the KNIGHTS are left gasping in awe and wonderment.  They

   all turn and look at ARTHUR.



                              LAUNCELOT

       A Blessing.  A blessing from the lord.



|                             BEDEVERE

|      Praise be to God!

|

|  An awed pause, then ARTHUR rallies them.

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      We have a task,  we must waste no time! To Camelot!

|

+                              GALAHAD

+      God be praised!



   Stirring music crescendo.  They ride off.



   CUT TO TITLES SEQUENCE Animation: "The Quest For The Holy Grail" After

   titles CUT TO:





9  EXTERIOR - CASTLE - DAY



   MIX THROUGH one or two shots of them on their way again, until they approach

   a terrific castle (a little one would do too).  They advance quite close to

   the castle and draw themselves into a line.  At a signal from ARTHUR the two

   PAGES step forward and give a brief fanfare.



   A MAN appears on the battlements.  ARTHUR addresses him.



                               ARTHUR

       Hello.



                               MAN

       'Allo.  Whoo is eet?



                               ARTHUR

       I am King Arthur and these are the Knights of the Round

       Table.  Whose castle is this?



                               MAN

       This is the castle of of my master, Guy de Loimbard.



                               ARTHUR

       Please go and tell your master that we have been charged by God

       with a sacred quest,  and if he will give us food and shelter for

       this night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.



                               MAN

       Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen.

       He's already got one, you see?



                               ARTHUR

       What?



                               GALAHAD

       He says they've already got one!



   They are stunned.



                               ARTHUR

       Are you sure he's got one?



                               MAN

       Oh yes.  It's very nice

+

+  CUT TO BATTLEMENTS. THE TAUNTER (MAN) turns to some others.

+

+                              MAN

+      I told him we already got one.

+

+  They all giggle.

+



                              ARTHUR

       Well ... can we come up and have a look?



                               MAN

       Of course not!  You are English pigs.



                               ARTHUR

       Well, what are you then?



                               MAN

       I'm French.  Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you

       silly king.



                               GALAHAD

       What are you doing in England?



                               MAN

       Mind your own business.



                               ARTHUR

       If you will not show us the Grail we shall storm your castle.



   Murmurs of assent.



                               MAN

       You don't frighten us, English pig-dog!  Go and boil your

       bottoms, son of a silly person.  I blow my nose on you, so-called

       Arthur-king, you and your silly English K...kaniggets.



   He puts hands to his ears and blows a raspberry.



                               GALAHAD

       What a strange person.



                               ARTHUR

       Now look here, my good man!



                               MAN

       I don't want to talk to you, no more, you empty-headed animal,

       food trough wiper.  I fart in your general direction.  You mother

       was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.



                               GALAHAD

       Is there someone else up there we could talk to?



                               MAN

       No.  Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.



                               ARTHUR

       Now this is your last chance.  I've been more than reasonab...

+

+                              MAN

+      Fetchez la vache!

+

+                              GUARD

+      Quoi?

+

+                              MAN

+      Fetchez la vache!

+

   CUT BACK TO battlements.  A cow is led out of a stall.



   CUT BACK TO ARTHUR.



                               ARTHUR

       Now that is my final offer.  If you are not prepared to agree to my

       demands I shall be forced to take ... Oh Christ!



   A cow comes flying over the battlements,  lowing aggressively.  The cow

   lands on GALAHAD'S PAGE, squashing him completely.

|

|                              ROBIN

|      What a cruel thing to do.

|

|                              BEDEVERE

|          (Choking back tears)

|      It hadn't even been milked.

|

                               ARTHUR

       Right! Knights! Forward!



   ARTHUR leads a charge toward the castle.  Various shots of them battling on,

   despite being hit by a variety of farm animals.



                               ARTHUR

           (as the MAN next to him is squashed by a sheep)

       Knights!  Run away!



   Midst echoing shouts of "run away" the KNIGHTS retreat to cover with the odd

   cow or goose hitting them still.  The KNIGHTS crouch down under cover.



                               LAUNCELOT

       The sods!  I'll tear them apart.



                               ARTHUR

           (restraining LAUNCELOT from going out and having a go)

       No!



                               BEDEVERE

       I have a plan sir.



   CUT BACK TO battlements of castle.  FRENCH SENTRIES suspiciously peering

   towards the English lines.  Wind whistles.



   Shot of the empty scrubland or undergrowth or woodland around the castle.

   Emptiness.  Wind.  More shots of the FRENCH SENTRIES peering into the dusk.

|  As night falls.  MIX THROUGH TO night On the battlements a brazier burns or

|  torches on the wall as the SENTRIES peer into the dark. Shots of the

|  woodland with fires burning where the English lines are.



   During all this the sounds of extensive carpentry have possibly been herd,

   followed by silence, followed by renewed outbursts or activity.



   CLOSE-UP FRENCH looking very nervous.  Dawn breaking. Shot of woodland.

   Nothing.  Wind.  Dawn still breaking.  Shots of the FRENCH.  They suddenly

   hear something.  A faintly detectable squeaking which is getting louder.



   CUT TO WIDE SHOT of castle and woodland.  Squeaking getting louder.  Shot of

   the FRENCH TAUNTER pointing.  WIDE SHOT again.  The squeaking gets louder

   an enormous twenty-foot-high wooden rabbit is wheeled out of the

   undergrowth into the open space in front of the castle.  The ENGLISH scuttle

   back into the undergrowth.  The rabbit has a large red bow tied round it

   and a rather crudely written label,  which reads "Pour votres amis

   Francais". The CHIEF TAUNTER looks at it, narrowing his eyes.  Then he

   turns and leaves battlements.



   CUT TO ARTHUR and COMPANY watching from the bushes.  The main gate of the

   castle opens a little and the CHIEF TAUNTER's head sticks out,  then another

   Froggie head,  then another.  They mutter to each other in French,  look

   rather pleased,  then rush out and start to pull the giant rabbit in.



   CUT BACK TO ARTHUR and COMPANY behind some bushes watching.



                               ARTHUR

       Now what happens?



                               BEDEVERE

       Well now, Launcelot, Galahad, and I wait until nightfall

       and then leap out of the rabbit and take the French by surprise,

       not only by surprise but totally unarmed!



                               ARTHUR

       Who ... Who breaks out?



                               BEDEVERE

       Er ... We ... Launcelot, Galahad, and I ... Er ...  leap out of the

       rabbit and ...



   LAUNCELOT covers his eyes.



                               BEDEVERE

       Look, if we were to build a large wooden badger...



   ARTHUR cuffs him.  ARTHUR looks at the battlements.  There is a loud twang.

   Look of horror.  The rabbit comes sailing over the battlements.





                               ARTHUR

       Run away!



   More shouts.



       Run away!



|                              SIR GAWAIN

|          (to his PAGE as they run away)

|      It's only a model.

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      Sh!



   They continue to retreat.  The rabbit lands on GAWAIN'S PAGE

   (who is already weighed down by enormous quantity of luggage).





10  EXTERIOR - CASTLE WALLS - DAY



    CUT TO a MAN in modern dress standing outside a castle.  He speaks straight

    to CAMERA in a documentary kind of way.



    SUPERIMPOSE CAPTION:  A Very Famous Historian.



                               HISTORIAN'S SPEECH

       Defeat at the castle seems to have utterly disheartened

       King Arthur ... The ferocity of the French taunting took him

       completely by surprise and Arthur became convinced that a new strategy

       was required if the quest for the Holy Grail were to be brought

       to a successful conclusion.  Arthur, having consulted his closest

       knights, decided that they should separate, and search for the Grail

       individually.  Now, this is what they did.  No sooner...



    A KNIGHT rides into shot and hacks him to the ground.  He rides off.



    We stay for a moment on the glade.  A MIDDLE-AGED LADY in a C. & A.

    twin-set emerges from the trees and looks in horror at the body of her

    HUSBAND.



                               MRS HISTORIAN

       FRANK!



    CUT TO animated frame,  with the words "The Tale of Sir Robin" on it.

    Pleasant pastoral music.  MIX THROUGH TO:

+   VOICE: "The Tale Of Sir Robin"





11  EXTERIOR - GLADE - DAY



    A KNIGHT is trotting along through a wooden sun-dapled glade, followed by

    his trusty PAGE banging the usual half coconuts.  As we see them approach

    we hear the beautiful lilting sound of medieval music, and see that

    the KNIGHT is followed by a small retinue of MUSICIANS in

    thirteenth-century courtly costume, one sings, and plays the tambourine,

    one bangs at a tabor (A small drum O.E.D) and one plays the pipes.



    The KNIGHT looks very proud and firm as we hear the first part of the song,

    but the combination of the lyrics and the large signs they pass, start

    to have their effect ...



    SONG:



       Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot,

       He was not afraid to die, Oh Brave Sir Robin,

       He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways

       Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin.



       He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp

       Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken;

       To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away

       And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin.



       His head smashed in,  and his heart cut out,

       And his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged,

       And his nostrils raped, and his bottom burned off,

       And his penis split ... and his ...



                               ROBIN

       Er, That's ... That's enough music for a while, lads.

       It Looks as though like there's dirty work afoot.



                               SINGERS

       Brave, Sir Rob ...



                               ROBIN

       Shut up.



   They have ridden past the following signs, all in triplicate:-



       +------------------------------------------------------+

       | CAMELOT 43                         CERTAIN DEATH I   |

       | CAMELOT 43                         CERTAIN DEATH I   |

       | CAMELOT 43                         CERTAIN DEATH I   |

       +------------------------------------------------------+

    +------------------------------------------------------------+

    |  BEWARE               GO BACK           DEAD PEOPLE ONLY   |

    |  BEWARE               GO BACK           DEAD PEOPLE ONLY   |

    |  BEWARE               GO BACK           DEAD PEOPLE ONLY   |

    +------------------------------------------------------------+





12 EXTERIOR - GLADE - DAY



   They now pass three KNIGHTS impaled to a tree.  With their feet off the

   ground,  with one lance through the lot of them, they are skewered up

   like a barbecue.



   Then they pass three KNIGHTS sitting on the ground with one enormous axe

   through their skulls.  They look timorous.



|  Then a huge tree is absolutely packed with MAIDENS tied to it.  They all

|  look fed up.  SIR ROBIN calls out cheerfully as he passes.

|

|                              ROBIN

|      Morning.

|

|                              ONE LADY

|      Bye.

|

   SIR ROBIN rides on a little way with the music building up enormous and

   terrifying tension, until suddenly there standing before him is an

   enormous THREE-HEADED KNIGHT.



                               THREE HEADS

       Halt!  Who art thou?



                               SINGERS

       He is brave Sir Robin, brave Sir Robin, who ...



                               ROBIN

           (to SINGERS)

       Shut up.  Oh, nobody really. just passing through.



                               THREE HEADS

       What do you want?



                               SINGERS

       To fight and ...



                               ROBIN

       Shut up.  Nothing really.  just to pass through, good Sir knight.



                               THREE HEADS

       I'm afraid not.

|      This is my bit of the forest.  Find your own bit.



                               ROBIN

       I am a Knight of King Arthur's Round Table.

|      I seek the Holy Grail - Stand aside and let me pass.



                               THREE HEADS

       You are a Knight of the Round Table?



                               ROBIN

       I am.



   From now on the THREE HEADS speak individually.



                               SECOND HEAD

       Shit.



                               FIRST HEAD

       In that case I shall have to kill you.



                               SECOND HEAD

       Shall I?



                               THIRD HEAD

       Oh, I don't think so.



                               SECOND HEAD

       I'm not sure.



                               MIDDLE HEAD

           (to FIRST)

       What do I think?



                               LEFT HEAD

       I think kill him.

|

|                              SECOND HEAD

|      I'm still not sure.

|

|                              THIRD HEAD

|      All right.  How many of me think I should kill him?

|

|                              FIRST HEAD

|      I do.

|

|                              THIRD HEAD

|      One.

|

|                              SECOND HEAD

|      That's not a quorum.

|

|                              FIRST HEAD

|      It is if I'm the Chairman.

|

|                              THIRD HEAD

|      Oo, it's not.

|

|                              SECOND HEAD

|      I'm the Chairman this week.

|

|                              FIRST HEAD

|      You're not.

|

|                              SECOND HEAD

|      Look, it'll make it much simpler if I vote with me.

|

|                              THIRD HEAD

|      To kill him.

|

|                              SECOND HEAD

|      Yeah.

|

|                              THIRD HEAD

|          (tuts)

|      Oh, damn.

|

|                              FIRST HEAD

|         (to SIR ROBIN)

|      Knight, I have decided to kill you.

|

|                              THIRD HEAD

|      With one absenting.

|

|                              FIRST HEAD

|      Knight, I have decided to kill you with one absenting.

|

|                              THIRD HEAD

|          (to SIR ROBIN)

|      Sorry about this but I have to be fair.

|

|                              ROBIN

|      Oh, that's all right.  So you are going to kill me with your big axe.

|

|                              FIRST HEAD

|      Er no, with my sword.

|

|                              SECOND HEAD

|      Dagger.

|

|                              THIRD HEAD

|      Mace is quicker.

|

|                              FIRST HEAD

|      No, no, the sword, it's easier.

|

|                              THIRD HEAD

|      He said axe.

|

|                              ROBIN

|      Look, hurry up six eyes, or I shall cut your head off.

|

|                              THIRD HEAD

|          (to SIR ROBIN, referring to FIRST HEAD)

|      For God's sake, CUT that one off, and do us all a favour.

|

|                              FIRST HEAD

|      What do you mean?

|

|                              THIRD HEAD

|      Yapping on all the time.

|

|                              SECOND HEAD

|      You're lucky, you're not next to him.

|

|                              THIRD HEAD

|      What do you mean?

|

|                              SECOND HEAD

|      You snore.

|

|                              THIRD HEAD

|      Oo, lies.  Anyway, you've got bad breath.

|

|                              SECOND HEAD

|          (aspirating heavily)

|      I haven't.

|

|  Both THIRD and FIRST HEADS turn away slightly, making faces.

|

|                              SECOND HEAD

|      It's not my fault.  It's what you both eat.

|

|                              FIRST HEAD

|      Look, stop this bitching.  We've got a knight to kill.

|

|                              SECOND HEAD

|      He's buggered off.

|

|                              THIRD HEAD

|      So he has.  He's scarpered.

|

|                              FIRST HEAD

|      That's all your fault.

|

|                              THIRD HEAD

|      No, it's not.

|

|                              FIRST HEAD

|          (swipes at himself)

|      Take that.

|

|                              SECOND HEAD

|      Ow.

|

|                              FIRST HEAD

|      I'm sorry.

|

|                              THIRD HEAD

|      'Ere, stop it.  I'll teach you.

|

|  The BODY starts laying into itself with sword and mace, while the HEADS

|  argue and shout with pain.  We PAN gently across to the MAIDENS on their

|  tree.  They are still very fed up.

|

|                              MAIDEN

|      I suppose we're lucky he's only got three heads.

|

|                              LOVELY

|      Chance would be a fine thing.

+

+                              THIRD HEAD

+      Oh! let's be nice to him.

+

+                              FIRST HEAD

+      Oh shut up.

+

+                              ROBIN

+      Perhaps I could ...

+

+                              FIRST HEAD

+      Oh! quick! get the sword out I want to cut his head off.

+

+                              THIRD HEAD

+      Oh, cut your own head off.

+

+                              SECOND HEAD

+      Yes - do us all a favour.

+

+                              FIRST HEAD

+      What?

+

+                              THIRD HEAD

+      Yapping on all the time.

+

+                              SECOND HEAD

+      You're lucky, you're not next to him.

+

+                              THIRD HEAD

+      What do you mean?

+

+                              SECOND HEAD

+      You snore.

+

+                              THIRD HEAD

+      Ooh, lies! anyway you've got bad breath.

+

+                              SECOND HEAD

+      Well only because you don't brush my teeth ...

+

+                              THIRD HEAD

+      Oh! stop bickering and let's go and have tea and biscuits.

+

+                              FIRST HEAD

+      All right! All right! We'll kill him first and then have tea

+      and biscuits.

+

+                              SECOND HEAD

+      Yes.

+

+                              THIRD HEAD

+      Oh! not biscuits ...

+

+                              FIRST HEAD

+      All right! All right! not biscuits - but lets kill him anyway ...

+

+  WIDE-SHOT THE 3-HEADED KNIGHT is alone.

+

+                              SECOND HEAD

+      He's buggered off!

+

+                              THIRD HEAD

+      So he has! He's scarpered.





13 EXTERIOR - GLADE - DAY



   Quick sequence of SIR ROBIN.  The music is jolly and bright, as if

   triumphant.  ROBIN is not at all happy with the lyrics.



                               SINGERS

       Brave Sir Robin ran away.



                               ROBIN

       I didn't.



                               SINGERS

       Bravely ran away, away.



                               ROBIN

       No, no, no.



                               SINGERS

       When danger reared its ugly head,

       He bravely turned his tail and fled

       Yes, Brave Sir Robin turned about

       And gallantly he chickened out

       Bravely taking to his feet

       He beat a very brave retreat

       Bravest of the brave Sir Robin

       Petrified of being dead

       Soiled his pants then brave Sir Robin

       Turned away and fled.



   They disappear into distance.



   ANIMATION:  "The Tale Of Sir Galahad"





14 EXTERIOR - STORM - FOREST - DUSK



   As the storm rages we pick up GALAHAD forcing his way through brambles and

   over slippery rocks.  Progress is hard.  He pauses and at this moment

   we hear the howling of wolves.  GALAHAD turns, then hurries onward even

   more urgently.  Another louder, closer howl is herd and GALAHAD stumbles

   and falls heavily.  Though obviously injured he bravely struggles

   forward a little and regains his feed reacting with pain.  More louder

   closer howling.  He grips his sword valiantly and as he glances around

   a flash of lightning reveals the silhouette of a huge terrifying castle,

   perhaps looking rather derelict.  He makes up his mind in an instant and

   stumbles manfully toward it.  More louder howling.  He reaches the

   forbidding and enormous doors of the castle and beats on the doors with the

   handle of his sword, looking over his shoulder the while.  Pause.

   He beats again, shouting:



                               GALAHAD

       Open.  Open the doors.  In the name of King Arthur.  Open the doors.

|      I am Sir Galahad, a knight of the Round Table.

|

|  Some suitable noises are herd inside.

|

|      I am on a quest for the Holy Grail.  I seek shelter.



   Some rattling chainy noises come from inside with huge bolts being

   drawn.  The wolves' howling is very close.  As the door creaks

   open GALAHAD steps quickly inside.



15 INTERIOR - CASTLE - NIGHT



   From inside we see GALAHAD enter, wiping the rain from his eyes, and turn

   as the door crashes behind him.  GALAHAD turns to the door reacting to the

   fact he is trapped.



                               ZOOT (OUT OF VISION)

       Hello!



   GALAHAD turns back.  We see from his POV the lovely ZOOT standing by him

   smiling enchantingly and a number of equally delectable GIRLIES draped

   around in the seductively poulticed room.  They look at him smilingly and

   wave.



                               GIRLIES

       Hello!



                               ZOOT

       Welcome, gentle Sir knight, welcome to the Castle Anthrax.



                               GALAHAD

       The Castle Anthrax?



                               ZOOT

       Yes.  It's not a very good name, is it?  But we are

       nice and we shall attend to your every ... every need!



                               GALAHAD

       Er ...

+      You are the keepers of the Holy Grail?



                               ZOOT

       The what?  But you are tired and you must rest awhile.  Midget!

       Crapper!



                               MIDGET AND CRAPPER

       Yes, O Zoot?



                               ZOOT

       Prepare a bed for our guest.



                               MIDGET AND CRAPPER

           (grovelling with delight)

       Oh thank you, Zoot, thank you, thank you.



                               ZOOT

       Away varletesses!

           (to GALAHAD)

       The beds here are warm and soft and very, very big.



                               GALAHAD

       Well, look er, I ...



                               ZOOT

       What is your name, handsome knight?



                               GALAHAD

       Er ... Sir Galahad... the Chaste.



                               ZOOT

       Mine is Zoot. Just Zoot

           (she is very close to him for a moment)

       But come.



   She turns away and leads him towards a door leading to a corner leading

   to the bedchamber



                               GALAHAD

       Well Look, I'm afraid I really ought to be ...



                               ZOOT

       Sir Galahad!!



   There is a gasp from the other GIRLS



                               ZOOT

       You would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality.



   GALAHAD looks at the other GIRLS.  They are clearly on the verge of

   being offended.



                               GALAHAD

       Well ...



                               ZOOT

           (she moves off and GALAHAD unwillingly follows)

       I'm afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared

       to yours.  We are but eightscore young blondes, all between

       sixteen and nineteen-and-a-half, cut off in this castle, with no

       one to protect us.  Oooh.  It is a lonely life ... bathing ...

       dressing ... undressing ... making exciting underwear....



   They reach the end of the corridor and enter the bedchamber.

   ZOOT turns



                               ZOOT

       We are just not used to handsome knights ...

           (she notices him limping)

       But you are wounded!



                               GALAHAD

       No, It's nothing!



                               ZOOT

       You must see the doctors immediately.

            (she claps again)

       You must lie down.



   She almost forces him to lie on the bed as PIGLET and WINSTON enter the

   room.  They are equally beautiful and dressed exotically.  They

   approach GALAHAD.



                               PIGLET

       Well,  what seems to be the trouble?



                               GALAHAD

       They're doctors?



                               ZOOT

       They have a basic medical training, yes.  Now you must try to rest.

       Dr. Winston! Dr. Piglet!  Practice your art!!



                               WINSTON

       Try to relax.



                               GALAHAD

       No look, really, this isn't nescess ...



                               PIGLET

       We must examine you.



                               GALAHAD

       There's nothing wrong with ... that.



                               PIGLET

           (slightly irritated)

       Please ... we are doctors.



   ZOOT reappears.  GALAHAD tries for one brief moment to relax.  Then there is

   a sharp boing from the lower part of his armour.  WINSTON glances quickly

   in the appropriate direction as GALAHAD sits up and starts getting off the

   bed and collecting his armour, saying:



                               GALAHAD

       No, no, this cannot be.   I am sworn to chastity!



                               PIGLET

       Back to your bed!  At once!



                               GALAHAD

       I'm sorry, I must go.



   GALAHAD hurries to the door and pushes through it.  As he leaves the room

   we CUT TO the reverse to show that he is now in a room full of bathing

   and romping GIRLIES, all innocent, wide-eyed and beautiful.  They smile

   enchantingly at him as he tries to keep walking without being diverted by

   the lovely sights assaulting his eyeballs.  He nods to them stiffly once

   or twice and then his eye catches a particularly stunning YOUNG LADY.

   He visibly gulps with repressed emotion and cannot resist saying:

|

|                              GALAHAD

|      Good evening ... Ah, Zoot!  Er ...

|

|                              DINGO

|      No, I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo.

|

|                              GALAHAD

|      Oh.  Well, I'm sorry, but I must leave immediately.

|

|                              DINGO

|          (very dramatically)

|      No!  Oh, no!  Bad ... bad Zoot.

|

|                              GALAHAD

|      Er, why?

|

|                              DINGO

|      She has been lying again ... she told us you had promised to

|      stay for ever!

|

|                              GALAHAD

|      Oh!

+

+                              GALAHAD

+      Oh ... will you excuse me?

+

+                              DINGO

+      Where are you going?

+

+                              GALAHAD

+      I have seen the Grail! I have seen it - here in this castle!

+

+                              DINGO

+      No!  Oh, no!  Bad ... bad Zoot!

+

+                              GALAHAD

+      What is it?

+

+                              DINGO

+      Bad, wicked, naughty Zoot!  She has been setting fire to our beacon,

+      which - I have just remembered - is grail-shaped ...  It is not the

+      first time we've had this problem.

+

+                              GALAHAD

+      It's not the real Grail?

+

+                              DINGO

       Wicked wicked Zoot ... she is a bad person and she must pay the

       penalty.  And here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment

       ... you must tie her down on a bed ... and spank her.  Come!



                               GIRLS

       A spanking!  A spanking!



                               DINGO

       You must spank her well and after you have spanked her you

       may deal with her as you like and then ... spank me.



                               AMAZING

       And spank me!



                               STUNNER

       And me.



                               LOVELY

       And me.



                               DINGO

       Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!



                               GIRLS

       A spanking.  A spanking.  There is going to be a spanking tonight.



                               DINGO

       And after the spanking ... the oral sex.



                               GALAHAD

       Oh, dear! Well, I...



                               GIRLS

       The oral sex ...  The oral sex.



                               GALAHAD

       Well, I suppose I could stay a BIT longer.



   At this moment there is a commotion behind and SIR LAUNCELOT and CONCORD,

   possibly plus GAWAIN, burst into the bathing area with swords drawn and

   form themselves round SIR GALAHAD threatening the GIRLS.



                               LAUNCELOT

       Sir Galahad!



                               GALAHAD

       Oh ... hello ...



                               LAUNCELOT

       Quick!



                               GALAHAD

       Why?



                               LAUNCELOT

       You are in great peril.



                               DINGO

       No he isn't



                               LAUNCELOT

       Silence! Foul temptress!



                               GALAHAD

       Well, she's got a point.



                               LAUNCELOT

       We'll cover your escape!



                               GALAHAD

       Look - I'm fine!



                               GIRLS

       Sir Galahad!



   He threatens DINGO.



                               GALAHAD

       No. Look, I can tackle this lot single-handed!



                               GIRLS

       Yes, yes, let him Tackle us single-handed!



                               LAUNCELOT

       Come Sir Galahad, quickly!



                               GALAHAD

       No, really, I can cope.  I can handle this lot easily!



                               DINGO

       Yes, let him handle us easily.



                               LAUNCELOT

       No sir.  Quick!





   He starts pulling GALAHAD away.



                               GALAHAD

       No, please.  Please! I can defeat them!  There's only a hundred.



                               GIRLS

       He will beat us easily.  We haven't a chance.



                               DINGO

       Oh shit!



   By now LAUNCELOT and CONCORDE have hustled GALAHAD out of the bathing

   area and are running through the outside door.



                               LAUNCELOT

       We were in the nick of time.  You were in great peril.



                               GALAHAD

           (dragging his feet somewhat)

       I don't think I was.



                               LAUNCELOT

       You were, Sir Galahad, You were in terrible peril.



                               GALAHAD

       Look, let me go back in there and face the peril?



                               LAUNCELOT

       It's too perilous.



   They are right outside the castle by now.



                               GALAHAD

       Look, it's my duty as a knight to try and sample as much peril as I can.



                               LAUNCELOT

       No, no, we must find the Grail.



  The thunderstorm is over.  A bunch (sic) of PAGES are tethered to a tree with

  more MEN waiting.  Their tethers are untied and the PAGES start banging away

  with their coconuts.  GALAHAD is swept along with them as they ride off.



                               GALAHAD

       Oh, let me go and have a bit of peril?



                               LAUNCELOT

       No.  It's unhealthy.



                               GALAHAD

       ... I Bet you're gay.



                               LAUNCELOT

       No, I'm not.



   GAWAIN or CONCORDE gives a knowing glance at LAUNCELOT.  VOICE comes in as

   they ride off.



                               VOICE OVER

       Sir Launcelot had saved Galahad from almost certain

       temptation but they were still lost, far from the goal

       of their search for the Holy Grail.  Only Bedevere and

       King Arthur himself, riding day and night, had made

       any progress.





16  ANIMATION/LIVE ACTION



    ARTHUR and BEDEVERE in the depths of a dark forest with an old blind

    SOOTHSAYER.  He lies in a broken down old woodman's hut.



                               ARTHUR

       And this "Enchanter" of whom you speak,  he has seen the grail?



   The SOOTHSAYER laughs forbiddingly, adding to the general spookiness of

   this encounter.



                               ARTHUR

       Where does he live?

           (he stares into the blind eyes of the OLD MAN)

       Old man ... where does he live ...



                               SOOTHSAYER

       He knows of a cave ... a cave which no man has entered.



                               ARTHUR

       And ... the Grail ... The Grail is there?



   The BLIND MAN laughs again to himself.



                               SOOTHSAYER

       There is much danger ... for beyond the cave lies the Gorge

       of Eternal Peril which no man has ever crossed.



                               ARTHUR

       But the Grail ... where is the Grail!?



                               SOOTHSAYER

       Seek you the Bridge of Death ...



                               ARTHUR

       The Bridge of Death? ... which leads to the Grail?



   The OLD MAN laughs sinisterly and mockingly.  They look down and he is

   gone.  They stand up.  Suddenly behind them is a noise.  They turn sharply

   in the door of the little hut is a cat.  It miaows and is gone.  They

   slowly back out of the hut.  As they touch the doorposts they just flake

   away into dust.  The whole hut is rotten.  It collapses



   Spooky music.  They are thoroughly shaken, and they begin to hear noises of

   people moving in the forest around them.  They start to back cautiously

   away from the hut, suddenly there is heavy footfall behind them.  They

   turn in fear and:



   Sudden CUT TO BIG CLOSE-UP of a frightening black-browed evil face.



                               TALL KNIGHT OF NI

       Ni!



   ARTHUR and BEDEVERE recoil in abject fear.  PATSY rears up with coconuts.



                               ARTHUR

           (to PATSY)

       Easy ... boy, easy ...



   ARTHUR peers into the darkness.



       Who are you?



                               SIX VOICES FROM DARKNESS

       NI! ... Peng! ... Neeee ... Wom!



   An extraordinary TALL KNIGHT in all black (possibly John with Mike on his

   shoulders) walks out from the dark trees.  He is extremely fierce and

   gruesome countenance.  He walks towards KING ARTHUR and PATSY, who are

   wazzing like mad.  (Salopian slang, meaning very scared.  almost to the

   point of wetting oneself, e.g. before an important football match or

   prior to a postering.  Salopian slang meaning a beating by the school

   praeposters.  Sorry about the Salopian slant to this stage direction - Ed.)



                               ARTHUR

           (wazzed stiff)

       Who are you?

                               TALL KNIGHT

       We are the Knights Who Say "Ni"!



                               BEDEVERE

       No!  Not the Knights Who Say "Ni"!



                               TALL KNIGHT

       The same!



                               ARTHUR

       Who are they?



                               TALL KNIGHT

       We are the keepers of the sacred words.  NI ... Peng ... and Neee

       ... Wom!



                               BEDEVERE

       Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale.



                               TALL KNIGHT

       The Knights Who Say "Ni"! demand a sacrifice.



                               ARTHUR

           (to the TALL KNIGHT)

       Knights Who Say "Ni" ... we are but simple travellers.  We seek the

       Enchanter who lives beyond this wood and who ...



                               TALL KNIGHT

       NI!



                               ARTHUR

           (recoiling)

       Oh!



                               TALL KNIGHT

       NI!   NI!



                               ARTHUR

           (he cowers in fear)

       Oh!



                               TALL KNIGHT

       We shall say Ni! again to you if you do not appease us.



                               ARTHUR

       All right!  What do you want?



                               TALL KNIGHT

       We want ... a shrubbery!



                               ARTHUR

       A what?



                               TALL KNIGHT

       Ni!  Ni!  Ni ... Peng ... Nee ... Wum!



   The PAGES rear and snort and rattle their coconuts.



                               ARTHUR

       All right!  All right! ... No more, please.  We will find you

       a shrubbery ...



                               TALL KNIGHT

       You must return here with a shrubbery or else ...  you shall

       not pass through this wood alive!



                               ARTHUR

       Thanks you, Knights Who Say Ni!  You are fair and just.  We will

       return with a shrubbery.



                               TALL KNIGHT

       One that looks nice.



                               ARTHUR

       Of course.



                               TALL KNIGHT

       And not too expensive.



                               ARTHUR

       Yes ...



                               TALL KNIGHT

       Now - go!



   ARTHUR and BEDEVERE turn and ride off.



                               OTHER KNIGHTS

       Ni!  Ni!



   Shouts of "Ni" and "Peng" ring behind them.





17 EXTERIOR - DAY



   CUT BACK TO the HISTORIAN lying in the glade.  His WIFE, who has been

   kneeling beside him, rises as two POLICE PATROLMEN enter the glade.

   They bend over her HUSBAND.  One takes out a notebook.



   CUT TO and animated title - "The Tale of Sir Launcelot"





18 INTERIOR - PRINCE'S ROOM IN CASTLE - DAY



   A young, quite embarrassingly unattractive PRINCE is gazing out of a castle

   window.  His FATHER stands beside him.  He is also looking out.  The

   PRINCE wears a long white undershirt (like a night shirt).



                               FATHER

       One day, lad, all this will be yours ...



                               PRINCE

       What - the curtains?



                               FATHER

       No!  Not the curtains, lad ...  All that ...

           (indicates the vista from the window)

       all that you can see, stretched out over the hills and

       valleys ... as far as the eye can see and beyond ...

       that'll be your kingdom, lad.



                               PRINCE

       But, Mother ...



                               FATHER

       Father, lad.



                               PRINCE

       But, Father, I don't really want any of that.



                               FATHER

       Listen, lad, I built this kingdom up from nothing.  All I had when

       I started was swamp ...  other kings said I was daft to build a

       castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same ... just to show 'em.

       It sank into the swamp.  So I built a another one ... that sank

       into the swamp.  I built another one ...  That fell over and THEN

       sank into the swamp ....  So I built another ... and that stayed up.

       ... And that's what your gonna get, lad: the most powerful kingdom in

       this island.



                               PRINCE

       But I don't want any of that, I'd rather ...



                               FATHER

       Rather what?



                               PRINCE

       I'd rather ... just ... sing ...



   MUSIC INTRO



                               FATHER

       You're not going to do a song while I'm here!



   Music stops.



       Listen, lad, in twenty minutes you're going to be married to

       a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain.



                               PRINCE

       I don't want land.



                               FATHER

       Listen, Alice ...



                               PRINCE

       Herbert.



                               FATHER

       Herbert ...  We built this castle on a bloody swamp, we need all

       the land we can get.



                               PRINCE

       But I don't like her.



                               FATHER

       Don't like her?   What's wrong with her?  She's beautiful ...

       she's rich ... she's got huge tracts of land ...



                               PRINCE

       I know ... but ... I want the girl that I marry to  have ...

       a certain ... special ... something ...



   MUSIC INTO FOR song.



                               FATHER

       Cut that out!



   Music cuts off abruptly.



       You're marrying Princess Lucky, so you'd better get used to the idea!

       Guards!



   TWO GUARDS enter and stand to attention on either side of the door

   One of them has hiccoughs and does so throughout.



                               FATHER

       Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room until

       I come and get him.



                               FIRST GUARD

       Not ... to leave the room ... even if you come and get him.



                               FATHER

       No.  Until I come and get him.



                               SECOND GUARD

       Hic.



                               FIRST GUARD

       Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room.



                               FATHER

       No ...  You stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave.



                               FIRST GUARD

       ... and you'll come and get him.



                               SECOND GUARD

       Hic.



                               FATHER

       That's Right.



                               FIRST GUARD

       We don't need to do anything, apart from just stop him

       entering the room.



                               FATHER

       Leaving the room.



                               FIRST GUARD

       Leaving the room ... yes.



                               FATHER

       Got it?



                               SECOND GUARD

       Hic.



   FARTHER makes to leave.



                               FIRST GUARD

       Er ... if ... we ... er ...



                               FATHER

       Yes?



                               FIRST GUARD

       If we ... er ...

           (trying to remember what he was going to say)



                               FATHER

       Look, it's  simple.  Just stay here and make sure he doesn't

       leave the room.



                               SECOND GUARD

       Hic.



                               FATHER

       Right?



                               FIRST GUARD

       Oh, I remember ... can he ... er ... can he leave the room with us?



                               FATHER

           (carefully)

       No ....  keep him in here ... and make sure he doesn't ...



                               FIRST GUARD

       Oh, yes!  we'll keep him in here, obviously.  But if he had

       to leave and we were with him.



                               FATHER

       No ... just keep him in here.



                               FIRST GUARD

       Until you, or anyone else ...



                               FATHER

       No, not anyone else - just me.



                               FIRST GUARD

       Just you ...



                               SECOND GUARD

       Hic.



                               FIRST GUARD

       Get back.



                               FATHER

       Right.



                               FIRST GUARD

       Okay.  Fine.  We'll remain here until you get back.



                               FATHER

       And make sure he doesn't leave.



                               FIRST GUARD

       What?



                               FATHER

       Make sure he doesn't leave.



                               FIRST GUARD

       The Prince ... ?



                               FATHER

       Yes ...  make sure ...



                               FIRST GUARD

       Oh yes, of course!  I thought you meant him!

           (he points to the other GUARD and laughs to himself)

       You know it seemed a bit daft me havin' to guard him when

       he's a guard ...



                               FATHER

       Is that clear?



                               SECOND GUARD

       Hic.



                               FIRST GUARD

      Oh, yes.  That's quite clear.  No problems.



   FATHER pulls open the door and makes to leave the room.  The GUARDS follow.



                               FATHER

           (to the GUARDS)

       Where are you going?



                               FIRST GUARD

       We're coming with you.



                               FATHER

       No, I want you to stay here and make sure he doesn't leave

       the room until I get back.



                               FIRST GUARD

       Oh, I see,  Right.



   They take up positions on either side of the door.



                               PRINCE

       But, Father.



                               FATHER

       Shut your noise, you,  and get that suit on!



    He points to a wedding suit on a table or chair.  FATHER throws one last

    look at the BOY and turns, goes out and slams the door.



    The PRINCE slumps onto window seat, looking forlornly out of the window.

    MUSIC INTRO to song ...



    The door flies open, the music cuts off and FATHER pokes his head in.



                               FATHER

        And no singing!



                               SECOND GUARD

       Hic.



                               FATHER

           (as he goes out.)

       Go and have a drink of water.



   FATHER slams the door again.  The GUARDS take up their positions.  The SON

   gazes out of the window again ... sighs ... thinks ... a thought strikes him

   ... he gets up, crosses to his desk and scribbles a quick note and impales

   it on an arrow ... takes a bow down from the wall ... and fires the arrow

   out of the window.



   He looks wetly defiant at the GUARDS, who smile pleasantly.





15 EXTERIOR - A FOREST - DAY



   CUT TO the middle of the forest.  SIR LAUNCELOT is riding along with

   a trusty servant, CONCORDE.



                               LAUNCELOT

       And ... o v e r ...  we go!



   He strides over a big tree trunk ... his "horse" does run and jump ...



                               LAUNCELOT

           (enthusiastically)

       Well taken, Concorde!



                               CONCORDE

       Thank you, sir, most kind ...



                               LAUNCELOT

       And another!



   CONCORDE misses a beat.



       Steady!  Good ... and the last one ...



   CONCORDE does the run-up with the coconuts.  He does the break for the

   leap ... there is a thwack.  SIR LAUNCELOT is waiting for the horse

     to land.



                               CONCORDE

       Message for you, sir.



   He falls forward revealing the arrow with the note.



                               LAUNCELOT

       Concorde - speak to me.



   He realises he might be in danger and so starts to crawl off ...

   when he notices the note.  He takes it out and reads it.



                               LAUNCELOT

           (reading)

       "To whoever finds this note -

       I have been imprisoned by my father who wishes me to marry

       against my will.  Please please please please come and rescue me.

       I am in the tall tower of Swamp Castle."



   SIR LAUNCELOT's eyes light up with holy inspiration.



                               LAUNCELOT

       At last!   A call!  A cry of distress ...

           (he draws his sword, and turns to CONCORDE)

      Concorde!  Brave, Concorde ... you shall not have died in vain!



                               CONCORDE

       I'm not quite dead, sir ...



                               LAUNCELOT

           (a little deflated)

       Oh, well ... er brave Concorde!  You shall not have been fatally

       wounded in vain!



                               CONCORDE

       I think I could pull through, sir.



                               LAUNCELOT

       Good Concorde ... stay here and rest awhile.



   He makes to leap off dramatically.



                               CONCORDE

       I think I'll be all right to come with you, sir.



                               LAUNCELOT

       I will send help, brave friend, as soon as I have accomplished

       this most daring, desperate adventure in this genre.



                               CONCORDE

       Really, I feel fine, sir.



                               LAUNCELOT

       Farewell, Concorde!



                               CONCORDE

       It just seems silly ... me lying here.



   SIR LAUNCELOT plunges off into the forest.



20 EXTERIOR - CASTLE GATEWAY - DAY



   Two hanging banners one each side of the gate with the monogram:

   "H & L".



   TWO SENTRIES with spears ... slightly weddingly ... red ribbons on their

   right spears.  We can hear from inside revelry and celebration music.



   We hear LAUNCELOT's footsteps.  The TWO SENTRIES are watching him.  One of

   them raises his hand.

|

|                              FIRST SENTRY

|      Halt, friend ...

|

   LAUNCELOT leaps into SHOT with a mighty cry and runs the GUARD through and

   hacks him to the floor.  Blood.  Swashbuckling music (perhaps).

   LAUNCELOT races through into the castle screaming.



                               SECOND SENTRY

       Hey!



   He looks down at his mutilated comrade.





21 EXTERIOR - DAY



   CUT TO inside of the castle grounds or courtyard.



   in the sunlight beautifully dressed WEDDING GUESTS are arriving.

   Converging on a doorway.  A country dance in progress.



   SIR LAUNCELOT rushes towards them.



   CUT TO HAND-HELD CLOSE-UPS as he charges through the crowd, hacking

   right and left a la Errol Flynn at all who come in his way.



   He fights his way through the country dance.  Blood.  Shrieks.  Bemused

   looks of GUESTS - not horror so much as uncomprehending surprise.



   Possibly Errol Flynn music.



   One COUNTRY DANCER is left holding just a hand.



   Right and left the GUESTS crumple in pools of blood as he fights his

   way through the door and into the main hall.





22 INTERIOR - DAY



   CUT TO interior of main hall.  Sound of busy preparations.  MEN setting

   up huge hogsheads of wine.  MEN putting up last minute flower arrangements.

   COOKS bearing huge trays of food, pies, suckling pigs, a swan, boar's

   head, etc.



   The BRIDE being dressed by several ATTENDANTS.  FATHER ordering SERVANTS

   around - organizing the STEWARDS etc.



   SIR LAUNCELOT bursts through the middle of them, slashing heroically,

   hacking, wounding and killing.  Again fairly CLOSE-UP chaotic SHOTS.

   We see GUESTS stagger back wounded - a COOK bites the dust, etc.



   SIR LAUNCELOT eventually reaches the staircase ... runs up it and

   into a small door.





23 INTERIOR - DAY



   CUT TO SIR LAUNCELOT running up spiral staircase.  He reaches the door

   of the PRINCE's room.  he flings it open.



                               FIRST GUARD

       Ah!  Now ... we're not allowed to ...



   SIR LAUNCELOT runs him through,  grabs his spear and stabs the other

   guard who collapses in a heap.  Hiccoughs quietly.



   SIR LAUNCELOT runs to the window and kneels down in front of the PRINCE,

   averting his head.



                               LAUNCELOT

       Oh, fair one, behold your humble servant, Sir Launcelot,

       from the Court of Camelot.  I have come to take you ...

           (he looks up for the first time and his voice trails away)

        away ... I'm terribly sorry ...



                               PRINCE

       You got my note!



                               LAUNCELOT

       Well ... yes ...



                               PRINCE

       You've come to rescue me?



                               LAUNCELOT

       Well ... yes ... but I hadn't realised ...



                               PRINCE

           (his eyes light up)

       I knew that someone would come.  I knew ... somewhere out there ...

       there must be ...



   MUSIC INTRO to song.



                               FATHER

           (suddenly looking in the door)

       Stop that!



   Music cuts out.



   FATHER sees SIR LAUNCELOT still kneeling before his son.



                               FATHER

       Who are you?



                               PRINCE

       I'm ... your son ...



                               FATHER

       Not you.



                               LAUNCELOT

           (half standing self-consciously)

       I'm ... er ... Sir Launcelot, sir.



                               PRINCE

       He's come to rescue me, father.



                               LAUNCELOT

           (embarrassed)

       Well, let's not jump to conclusions ...



                               FATHER

       Did you kill all those guards?



                               LAUNCELOT

       Yes ...  I'm very sorry ...



                               FATHER

       They cost fifty pounds each!



                               LAUNCELOT

       Well, I'm really am most awfully sorry but I ...

       I can explain everything ...



                               PRINCE

       Don't be afraid of him, Sir Launcelot.  I've got a rope here all

       ready ...



    He throws a rope out of the window which is tied to a pillar in the room

    He  looks rather pleased with himself that he has got it all ready.



                               FATHER

       You killed eight wedding guests in all!



                               LAUNCELOT

       Er, Well ... the thing is ... I thought your son was a lady.



                               FATHER

       I can understand that.



                               PRINCE

           (half out of the window)

       Hurry, brave Sir Launcelot!



                               FATHER

           (to his SON)

       Shut up!

           (to LAUNCELOT)

       You only killed the bride's father - that's all -



                               LAUNCELOT

       Oh dear, I didn't really mean to...



                               FATHER

       Didn't mean to?  You put your sword right through his head!



                               LAUNCELOT

       Gosh - Is he all right?



                               FATHER

       You even kicked the bride in the chest!  It's going to cost

       me a fortune!



                               LAUNCELOT

       I can explain ...  I was in the forest ... riding north

       from Camelot ... when I got this note.



                               FATHER

       Camelot?  Are you from Camelot?



   The PRINCE's head peeps over the windowsill.



                               PRINCE

       Hurry!



                               LAUNCELOT

       I am, sir. I am a Knight of King Arthur.



                               FATHER

       'Mm ... very nice castle, Camelot ... very good pig country....



                               LAUNCELOT

       Is it?



                               PRINCE (out of vision)

       I am ready, Sir Launcelot.



                               FATHER

       Do you want to come and have a drink?



                               LAUNCELOT

       Oh ... that's awfully nice.



                               PRINCE (OOV)

           (loud and shrill)

       I am ready!



   As they walk past the rope, the FATHER nonchalantly cuts with his knife.

   there is no sound except after a pause a slight squeal from very far away

   as the PRINCE makes contact with the ground.



                               LAUNCELOT

       It's just that when I'm in this genre, I tend to get over-excited

       and start to leap around and wave my sword about ... and ...



                               FATHER

       Oh, don't worry about that ... Tell me ... doesn't Camelot own

       that stretch of farmland up by the mountains?



   He puts his arm round LAUNCELOT's shoulders as they go though the door.





24 INTERIOR - DAY



   CUT TO the great hall.  GUESTS wounded and bloody, are tending to the dead

   and injured, sighs and groans, the PRINCESS in her white wedding dress is

   holding her chest and coughing blood.

   People dabbing the stains off her dress.



   FATHER and SIR LAUNCELOT start to walk down the grand staircase.  Talking

   to each other.



   One of the GUESTS notices and points to SIR LAUNCELOT.



                               GUEST

       There he is!



   As one man all remaining able-bodied MEN look up and make for the staircase,

   muttering angrily.  SIR LAUNCELOT grabs his sword.



                               FATHER

       Hold it!



   But it is too lake.  SIR LAUNCELOT cannot be stopped.  With fearless abandon

   he throws himself into the CROWD and starts hacking and slashing.  He has

   carved quite a number up before the FATHER can stop him and pulls him back

   onto the stairs.  Renewed groans and cries.





                               FATHER

           (shouting above noise)

       Hold it!  Please!

                               LAUNCELOT

       Sorry!  Sorry ...

           (with bitter self reproach)

       There you See ... I just got excited again and I got carried away ...

       I'm ever so sorry.

           (to the CROWD)

       Sorry.



   CROWD kneeling round their wounded again.  Moans etc.



                               GUEST

       He's killed the best man!



                               SECOND GUEST

           (holding a limp WOMAN)

       He's killed my auntie.



                               FATHER

       No, please!  This is supposed to be a happy occasion!

       Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who ...  We

       are here today to witness the union of two young people in

       the joyful bond of the holy wedlock.  Unfortunately, one

       of them, my son Herbert, has just fallen to his death.



   Murmurs from CROWD;  the BRIDE smiles with relief, coughs.



       But I don't want to think I've not lost a son ...

       so much as gained a daughter ...



   Smattering of applause.



       For, since the tragic death of her father ...



                               SHOUT FROM BACK

       He's not quite dead!



                               FATHER

       Since the fatal wounding of her father ...



                               SHOUT FROM BACK

       I think He's getting better!



   FATHER nods discreetly to a SOLDIER standing to one side.  The SOLDIER

   slips off.  FATHER's eyes watch him move round to where the voice

   came from.



                               FATHER

       For ... since her own father ... who ... when he seemed about to

       recover ... suddenly felt the icy ... hand of death upon him.



   A scuffle at the back.



                               SHOUT FROM BACK

       Oh, he's died!



                               FATHER

       I want his only daughter, from now onwards, to think of me as her

       old dad ... in a very real and legally binding sense.



   Applause.



       And I'm sure sure ... that the merger ... er ... the union

       between the Princess and the brave but dangerous Sir Launcelot

       of Camelot ...



                               LAUNCELOT

       What?



   Gasp from the CROWD.



                               CROWD

       The dead Prince!



   There is CONCORDE holding "THE DEAD PRINCE" in his arms.



                               CONCORDE

       He's not quite dead!



                               PRINCE

       I feel much better.



                               FATHER

       You fell out of the Tall Tower you creep!



                               PRINCE

       I was saved at the last minute.



                               FATHER

       How?



                               PRINCE

       Well ... I'll tell you ...



   MUSIC INTRO to song.  CONCORDE stands the SON on his feet and adopts cod

   "and now a number from my friend" pose.



                               FATHER

       Not like that!



   But the music doesn't stop and the CROWD starts to sing.



                               CROWD

       He's going to tell.



                               FATHER

       Shut up!



                               CROWD

       He's going to tell ...



                               FATHER

           (screaming)

       Shut UP!



    As the song starts the FATHER tries yelling at them and eventually gives

    up.  SIR LAUNCELOT joins CONCORDE in the CROWD.

|

|                              LAUNCELOT

|      We must escape.  Quickly before the song.

|

|                              CONCORDE

|      Come with me, sir.

|

|                              LAUNCELOT

|      You're not right for this genre ... I must escape more dramatically.

|

+

+                              CONCORDE

+      Quickly, sir, come this way!

+

+                              LAUNCELOT

+      No!  It's not right for my idiom.  I must escape more  ... more ...

+

+                              CONCORDE

+      Dramatically, sir?

+

+                              LAUNCELOT

+      Dramatically.

+

                               CROWD

       He's going to tell

       He's going to tell

       He's going to tell about his great escape.

       Oh he fell a long long way

       But he's here with us today

       What a wonderful ... escape.



   CONCORDE goes.  SIR LAUNCELOT runs back up the stairs, grabs a rope

   of the wall and swings out over the heads of the CROWD in a

   swashbuckling manner towards a large window.  He stops just short

   of the window and is left swing pathetically back and forth.

+

+                              LAUNCELOT

+      Excuse me ... could somebody give me a push ...

+



25 EXTERIOR - A DESERTED VILLAGE - DUSK



   Toothless old CRONE by the roadside.  ARTHUR and BEDEVERE and two PAGES

   ride up and draw up alongside the CRONE.



                               ARTHUR

        Is there anywhere where we could buy a shrubbery?



   The OLD CRONE crosses herself with a look of stark terror.



                               CRONE

       Who sent you?



                               ARTHUR

       The Knights Who Say Ni!



                               CRONE

       Aaaagh!

           (she looks around in rear)

       No!  We have no shrubberies here.



                               BEDEVERE

       Surely, there must be.

|

|  ARTHUR restrains from threatening the LADY.

|

|                              ARTHUR

|          (aside)

|      It will be not good to argue.  These simple people are terrified

|      of the Knights Who Say Ni!

|

|                              CRONE

|          (she cowers)

|      Ohhh!

|

|  ARTHUR takes BEDEVERE further aside.

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      There is only one way to get the information we want ...

|

|                              BEDEVERE

|      Send her a letter from a long way away?

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      Er, no ... no, we must ...

|

|                              BEDEVERE

|      Talk to her in funny voices?

|

|                              ARTHUR

|          (slightly crossly)

|      No ...

|

|                              BEDEVERE

|      How about trying ourselves to a tree?

|

|                              ARTHUR

|          (grittily)

|      No.  Our only hope is to make her as afraid of us as she is of

|      the awful Knights Who Say Ni!

|

|                              BEDEVERE

|          (sagely)

|      Ah!  Hit ourselves with a big rock ...

|

|  He nods knowingly.

|

|                              ARTHUR

|          (tolerantly but firmly)

|      No.  Nothing we do to ourselves will frighten her as much as

|      what we can do to her ...

|

|                              BEDEVERE

|      Ah!

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      We must threaten to say "Ni"!

|

|                              BEDEVERE

|          (terror)

|      Oh, no.

|

|  They reapproach the OLD CRONE who is cowering more than ever.

|

                               ARTHUR

       Listen, old crone!  Unless you tell us where we can buy a

       shrubbery, my friend and I will ... we will say "Ni!"



                               CRONE

       Do your worst!

|      I have herd the Knights say "Ni"! in the night.  I have herd the

|      hideous Peng! and they have said "Nee-wum"! to my sister but still

|      I have not revealed ...



                               ARTHUR

       Very well, old crone.  Since you will not assist us voluntarily

       ... "Ni"!



                               CRONE

       No.  Never.  No shrubberies.



                               ARTHUR

       Ni!



                               BEDEVERE

       Nu!



                               ARTHUR

       No.  Ni!  More like this. "Ni"!



                               BEDEVERE

       Ni, ni, ni!



                               ARTHUR

|      It's not working.

       You're not doing it properly.  Ni!



                               BEDEVERE

       Ni!



                               ARTHUR

       That's it.  Ni!  Ni!



   A PASSER-BY on a horse is observing them.



                               ROGER

       Are you saying "Ni" to that old woman?



                               ARTHUR

       Erm, yes.



                               ROGER

       Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say "Ni"

       at will to old ladies.  There is a pestilence upon this land!

       nothing is sacred.  Even those who arrange and design

       shrubberies are under considerable economic stress

       at this point in time.



                               ARTHUR

       Did you say shrubberies?



                               ROGER

       Yes.  Shrubberies are my trade.  I am a shrubber.  My name

       is Roger the Shrubber.  I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.



                               BEDEVERE

           (rather aggressively, to ROGER)

       Ni!



                               ARTHUR

       No.  No.  No!





26 EXTERIOR - GLADE - DUSK



   CUT TO the glade in the forest again.



                               ARTHUR

        Oh, Knights of Ni, here is your shrubbery.  May we go now?



                               TALL KNIGHT

       That is a good shrubbery.  I like the laurels particularly -

       But there is one small problem.



                               ARTHUR

       What is that?



                               TALL KNIGHT

       We are now no longer the Knights Who Say Ni!



                               ONE KNIGHT

       Ni!



                               OTHERS

       Sh!



                               ONE KNIGHT

           (wispers)

       Sorry.



                               TALL KNIGHT

       We are now the Knights Who Go Neeeow ... wum ... ping!



                               OTHERS

       Ni!



                               OTHERS

       Ni!



                               ONE KNIGHT

       Peng!



                               OTHERS

       Ni!



                               OTHERS

       Sh!  Sh!



                               TALL KNIGHT

       Therefore ... we are no longer contractually bound by any agreements

       previously entered into by the Knights Who Say Ni!



                               ONE KNIGHT

       Ni!



                               ANOTHER

       Peng!



                               ANOTHER

       Sh!



                               TALL KNIGHT

       Shut up!

           (to ARTHUR)

       Therefore, we must give you a test, a Test to satisfy the Knights who

       say Neeeow ... wum ... ping!



                               OTHERS

         (terrific chorus)

       Neeeow ... wum ... ping!



                               ARTHUR

       What is this test, Knights of N...

           (can't say it)

       ... Recently Knights of Ni!



                               KNIGHT

       Ni!



                               TALL KNIGHT

       Firstly.  You must get us another shrubbery!



                               OTHER KNIGHTS

           (half seen)

       More shrubberies!  More shrubberies for the ex-Knights of Ni!



                               ARTHUR

       Not another shrubbery -



                               TALL KNIGHT

       When you have found the shrubbery, place the shrubbery here,

       beside this shrubbery ... only slightly higher, so you get a

       two-level effect with a path through the middle.



                               OTHER KNIGHTS

       A path!  A little path for the late Knights of Ni!



   Chorus of "Ni!  Ni!"



                               TALL KNIGHT

       When you have found the shrubbery, then you must cut

       down the mightiest tree in the forest ... with a herring.



                               OTHER KNIGHTS

       Yes!  With a herring!  With a herring!  Cut down with a herring!



                               ARTHUR

       We shall do no such thing ... let us pass!



                               TALL KNIGHT

       Oh, please!



                               ARTHUR

       Cut down a tree with a herring?  It can't be done!



                               OTHER KNIGHTS

           (they all recoil in horror)

       Oh!



                               TALL KNIGHT

       Don't say that word.



                               ARTHUR

       What word?



                               TALL KNIGHT

       I cannot tell you.  Suffice to say is one of the words

       the Knights of Ni! cannot hear!



                               ARTHUR

       How can we not say the word, if you don't tell us what it is?



                               TALL KNIGHT

           (cringing in fear)

       You said it again!



                               ARTHUR

       What, "is"?



                               TALL KNIGHT

           (dismissively)

       No, no ... not "is"!



                               OTHER KNIGHTS

       Not "is"!  Not "is"!



   Suddenly singing is heard from deep in the forest.



                               SIR ROBIN'S SINGERS

       Bravely good Sir Robin was not at all afraid

       To have his eyeballs skewered ...



                               TALL KNIGHT

           (irritated)

       "Is" is all right ... You wouldn't get far not saying "Is"!



                               BEDEVERE

       My liege, it's Sir Robin!



                               TALL KNIGHT

           (covering his ears)

       You've said the word again!



   SIR ROBIN and his SINGERS appear in the clearing.  The SINGERS are going on

   cheerfully as usual and ROBIN walks in front of them, continually

   embarrassed at their presence.



                               SINGERS

       ... and his kidneys burnt and his nipples skewered off ...



   ROBIN holds his hand up for silence.



                               ARTHUR

       Sir Robin!



   He shakes his hand warmly.



                               ROBIN

    My liege!  It's good to have found you again ...



                               TALL KNIGHT

    Now he's said the word!



                               ARTHUR

    Where are you going good Sir Robin?



                               ROBIN'S SINGERS

           (starting up again)

       He was going home ... he was giving up,

       He was throwing in the sponge.



                               ROBIN

           (to SINGERS)

       Shut up!  No ... er ... no ... I ... er ... I ... er ... I certainly

       wasn't giving up ... I was actually looking for the grail ...

       er thing ... in this forest.



                               ARTHUR

       No ... it lies beyond this forest.



                               TALL KNIGHT

       Stop saying the word!



                               OTHER KNIGHTS

       Stop saying the word!  The word we cannot hear!  The word ...



                               ARTHUR

           (losing his patience with the fearful KNIGHTS OF "NI")

       Oh, stop it!



   Terrific confusion amongst the KNIGHTS OF "NI", they roll on the ground

   covering their ears.  The TALL KNIGHT remains standing trying to control

   his MEN.



                               OTHER KNIGHTS

       They're all saying the word ...



                               TALL KNIGHT

       Stop saying it.  AAAArghh! ... I've said it ...



                               OTHER KNIGHTS

       You've said it!  Aaaaarghhh! ... We've said it ... Wwe're all saying it.



   ARTHUR beckons to BEDEVERE and ROBIN and they pick their way through

   the helpless KNIGHTS OF "NI" and away into the forest.





27 EXTERIOR - HISTORIAN'S GLADE - DAY



   We CUT TO an almost subliminal shot of the HISTORIAN'S WIFE being shown

   into a police car, which then roars off out of the glade



|   CUT BACK to the forest.  The Knights of "NI" are slowly recovering.  they

|   get up.

|

|                              TALL KNIGHT

|      Well, At least We've got ONE shrubbery.

|

|                              OTHER KNIGHTS

|      Yes, Yes ... We've Done very Well ...  NI!

|

|                              TALL KNIGHT

|      Ssh! I think somebody's coming.  We'll get them to give us

|      another shrubbery.

|

|                              OTHER KNIGHTS

|      Good Idea.  More shrubberies.  As many as possible.

|

|   Perhaps we start to TRACK BACK from the scene as they go on talking.

|

|                              TALL KNIGHT

|      What shall we call ourselves this time?

|

|                              KNIGHT

|      How about "The knights of Nicky-Nicky"?

|

|

|28 EXTERIOR - DAY

|

|   A Small group of PEASANTS are being shuffled into a group formation, at the

|   apparent direction of someone behind the camera.  A Few coughs

|   as they shuffle together.  a moment of silence.  then they burst

|   into pleasant (melliflubus) song.

|

|   Song:   When the trees do blossom full

|           and all the hills are green

|           Oh! Oh! We sing

|           hey! hey! We sing

|           our count....ry Song...

|

|   A hail of arrow hits them and they crumple up.  sound of raucous

|   laughter OFF CAMERA.

|

|   CUT TO Reveal a firing squad of ARCHERS kneeling not ten feet away from

|   the group of SINGERS.

|

|   Sitting on the throne on a dais is KING BRIAN THE WILD.  He is roaring with

|   roaring with laughter.  and his court is slightly shabby - bearing all the

|   marks of a faded richness.  it is a court without women, and nobody

|   does the washing or shaves very well. perhaps there is washing however

|   on the line over the castle.  KING BRIAN'S ADVISERS stand around

|   him.   Everyone bears the signs of past injuries (Except for BRIAN

|   himself) I.E. they have an arm in a sling or head bandaged; all the people

|   at court, except for BRIAN have their left arm missing (possibly

|   the result of some violent edict a few years back)

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HO! HO! HO! HO! HA! HA! HA! HA!

|      Oh! Very good! Next!

|

|                              FIRST ADVISER

|          (a Little uncomfortably - perhaps his arm is in a sling obviously

|           giving him some pain)

|      There are no more, Sir.

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|          (grabbing him by the collar)

|      What do'you mean you filthy dog!

|

|                              FIRST ADVISER

|      There are no more close harmony groups in the kingdom, Sir.

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      No more close harmony groups!!!

|

|                              FIRST ADVISER

|      We have scoured the kingdom.

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|          (lifting him bodily into the air and breaking his

|           arm again slightly)

|      You Miserable worm! you wretch! You Walking son of a dunghill keeper!

|      Guards!

|

|   Two Rather shabby looking GUARDS approach. (as everyone else they also

|   have their left arms missing)

|

|                              FIRST ADVISER

|      have mercy your MAJESTY!

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|   GUARDS! Take him away and suspend him by his nostrils from the highest

|   tree in the kingdom!

|

|   The Guards grab him unmercifully and drag him off.  he whines piteously.

|

|

|29 EXTERIOR - DAY

|

|   CUT BACK to the glade where the KNIGHTS OF NI! were.  A police car

|   roars up.  Two PLAIN CLOTHES DETECTIVE and a CONSTABLE get out, look

|   around suspiciously, perhaps kneel and examine the ground. one POLICEMAN

|   finds PATSY's shoe and the other finds a strange scientific instrument that

|   was hanging from BEDEVERE.

|

|   They nod grimly to each other. Climb back in the car and drive off.

|

|

|30 EXTERIOR - DAY

|

|   Back in KING BRIAN's Court. the FIRST ADVISER has been dragged off.  there

|   are muffled screams coming from the nearby tree.  the FIRST ADVISER

|   is being hauled up it on pulleys.

|

|                              SECOND ADVISER

|      Your Majesty, I can Find you a Lute player, whose music is passing

|      sweet.

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      It's not the same, You thick-headed fool!

|          (KING BRIAN hits him on the back of the head.  he falls.)

|      There's no fun in killing soloists!

|

|                              SECOND ADVISER

|          (picking himself up)

|      He may have a friend...

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      GUARDS!

|

|                              SECOND ADVISER

|      Oh Please your majesty!  Please!

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      Take him away and tie his kidneys to the longest hedge in the kingdom!

|

|   The GUARDS drag the ADVISER roughly away.

|

|                              SECOND ADVISER

|      No!

|          (he is dragged off screaming and protesting)

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|          (roaring at the rest of the court)

|      I will personally disembowel the next little bastard who tells me that

|      there are no more close harmony ...

|

|   At this moment we hear faintly the sound of singing. KING BRIAN stopped

|   to listen.  The entire COURT turns thankfully towards the mellifluous

|   sounds.

|

|      We're the knights of the round table

|      our shows are formidable

|      but many times we're given rhymes

|      that are quite unsingable...

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      Wait a minute! Five point harmony with a counter-tenor lead!

|

|   Various members of the COURT sigh and breathe more easily.

|

|                              CREEP

|      Thank goodness.

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      Shut up!

|          (punches him right on the end of the nose and shouts to the

|           SECOND ADVISER)

|      Oy you!

|

|                              SECOND ADVISER

|          (doubled-up, Surrounded by soldiers busy with his stomach)

|      Yes, Your majesty?

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      Go and get 'em!

|

|                              SECOND ADVISER

|          (gratefully)

|       Thank you sir!

|          (He staggers off with some difficulty)

|

|                              GUARD

|      'ere... We'd just started taking his kidneys out.

|

|   CUT TO ARTHUR,BEDEVERE,GALAHAD and LANCELOT.  (Garwin,thrstam, Hecrot)

|   plus all their pages.  there are riding along singing cheerily.

|

|                              KNIGHTS

|      We're baby mad and Camelot

|      we nurse and push the pram a lot

|      in war we're tough and able

|      quite indefatigable

|      between our quests we sequin vests

|      and dress like betty gable

|      it's a...

|

|                              SECOND ADVISER

|      HALT!

|

|                              SIR GALAHAD

|      Who are you who dares to halt the knights of king Arthur's round table

|      in mid-verse?

|

|                              SECOND ADVISER

|      I bring greetings from the court of king Brian.

|

|                              SIR LANCELOT

|      King Brian the wild?

|

|                              SECOND ADVISER

|      Some call him that, but he's calmed down allot recently.

|

|                              SIR GALAHAD

|      Are those YOUR kidneys?

|

|                              SECOND ADVISER

|          (covering his stomach)

|      No no... It's nothing - just a flesh wound.

|          (The KNIGHTS look at each other)

|      he has herd your beautiful melody; and wishes you to come to his court,

|      that he may listen at his ease ooh!

|

|                              SIR LANCELOT

|      You must be joking!

|          (general murmur or agreement from the other KNIGHTS.)

|      Go to the court of king Brian the wild and sing close harmony!

|

|                              OTHER KNIGHTS

|      No fear etc.

|

|                              SECOND ADVISER

|          (in increasing pain)

|      It need not be close harmony oooh agh!

|

|                              SIR GALAHAD

|      Ah but it would get round to close harmony, wouldn't it?

|

|                              SECOND ADVISER

|      Not necessarily ... As I say king Brian is much more relaxed than

|      he used to be.

|

|                              SIR GALAHAD

|      I mean could we just stick to one line of plainsong with a bit of

|      straight choral work?

|

|                              SECOND ADVISER

|      Well obviously he'd prefer a bit of close harmony arghhh!

|

|                              KNIGHTS

|      Ah! There you are!

|

|                              SIR LAUNCELOT

|      We'd end un-like the Shalott Choral Society.

|

|                              SECOND ADVISER

|      Oh that was an accident - honestly he's so calm now oh!

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      No we must be on our way.

|

|   They start off.

|

|                              SECOND ADVISER

|          (by now lying on the ground at his last gasp but still trying to

|           sound threatening)

|      If you don't come and sing for him ... ah ... he'll drive ... oh

|      ... iron spikes though your heads.

|

|                              KNIGHTS

|      Ah! That sounds more like Brian the wild!

|

|                              SECOND ADVISER

|          (looking helplessly at his intestines)

|      He ... he ... still gets irritable occasionally.

|

|                              SIR GALAHAD

|      Like with close harmony groups.

|

|                              SECOND ADVISER

|      Ooh ... Look if you're scared ...

|

|                              SIR LANCELOT

|      We're not SCARED!

|

|                              SECOND ADVISER

|          (With his last ounce of strength)

|      Very well! King Brian challenges your to sing before him in close

|      harmony!

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      A challenge?

|

|   The KNIGHTS look at each other rather taken aback but an idealistic glow

|   suffuses KING ARTHUR's eyes as he looks heaven-wards. The other KNIGHTS

|   look at him rather fearfully.

|

|                              ARTHUR

|          (majestacally)

|      It is a challenge.  We cannot refuse.

|

|                              SIR GALAHAD

|      King Brian's a fucking looney.

|

|                              SECOND ADVISER

|      Great!

|          (dies)

|

|                              SIR GALAHAD

|      Are you all right?

|

|   CUT TO KING BRIAN the wild on his dias.  he sees the KNIGHTS enter

|   the arena.

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      Ah good!

|

|   CUT TO TRUMPETERS who executes a rather bad fanfare full of missed

|   notes.  meanwhile various SHOTS of preparation.

|

|   KING BRIAN settling down.

|

|   KNIGHTS being led up to the podium. the last of the previous close harmony

|   group is being loaded onto a cart and pushed away by the cart driver

|   from scene tow (Perhaps we see him being paid off)

|

|   SHOT of KING BRIAN on his podium and the HERALD being untied and having

|   his gag removed.

|

|   SHOT of ARTHUR and KNIGHTS getting into a group on the podium still

|   rather nervous.

|

|   The fanfare comes to an end, and several wrong notes.

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|          (who can't wait)

|      RIGHT! Carry on gentleman.

|

|                              HERALD

|      KING BRIAN SAYS CARRY ON!

|

|                              ARTHUR

|          (wispering)

|      All right ... two tenor lines - I'll take the base.

|

|   They all nod.

|

|      One... Two... Three...

|

|   Sound of Bows being drown very near by.

|

|   ARTHUR looks up and frowns.

|

|   CUT to reveal a line of twenty ARCHERS they all have their left leg

|   missing, but they DO have two arms.

|

|   Their arrows are drawn back and point directly at ARTHUR & CO.

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      Hold it! Err ... King Brian!

|

|                              HERALD

|          (Louder than ever)

|      ARTHUR OF CAMELOT ADDRESSES THEE OH MIGHTY KING BRIAN!

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|           (trueulently)

|      What?

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      What are THEY For?

|          (Indicates the archers)

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      Them? they're... just to show you where the audience would be.

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      Well we'd prefer to do it without an audience.

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      Oh you've GOT to have an AUDIENCE!

|

|                              HERALD

|      KING BRIAN THE WISE AND GOOD RULER OF THIS LAND SAYS YOU'VE GOT TO

|      HAVE AN AUDIENCE!

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      We'd rather give a private recital.

|

|                              HERALD

|      THEY SAY THEY'D RATHER GIVE A PRIVATE RECITAL! O WISE GOOD AND JUST

|      KING BRIAN AND NOT THE LEAST BIT WILD!

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|          (to himself)

|      Turds...

|

|   HE nods to the ARCHERS who turn and hop smartly off in step.

|

|                              ONE-LEGGED RSM

|      Left ... Left ... Left, left, left, left

|      Left ... Left ... Left, left, left, left.

|

|   They hop round behind a long fence and disappear from sight

|   (Fence needs to be about 7 or 9 feet high)

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      Right! Ready when you are.

|

|                              HERALD

|      KING BRIAN IS READY!

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      And ... One ... Two ... Three ... Four ...

|

|   They are just about to sing when the ARCHERS, bows read and arrows points,

|   peep over the top of the fence.

|

|      HOLD IT!

|

|                              SIR GAWAIN

|          (singing)

|      We're

|

|   Quick flash of ARCHERS sensed to fire, one tires to hold his shot back but

|   fails and fires his arrows by accident in the air.

|

|   Quick flash of FIRST ADVISER who is hanging by his nostrils from the

|   highest tree in the kingdom, moaning, getting hit by the arrow.

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      What is it now?

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      We're not entirely happy with the acoustics.

|

|                              HERALD

|      THEY'RE NOT ENTIRELY HAPPY WITH...

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|          (impatiently)

|      Oh Sod the acoustics!  Get on with the singing!

|

|                              HERALD

|      KING BRIAN SAYS SOD THE ACOUSTICS!

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      In that case we shall just have to perform elsewhere.

|          (turns to his knights and begins to usher them off)

|

|                              HERALD

|      THEY SAY IN THAT CASE THEY SHALL HAVE TO PERFORM ELSEWHERE, O RICH,

|      FAMOUS AND EXTREMELY CALM KING!

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|          (getting very angry and dribbling slightly)

|      NO! you've GOT to sing on the target are - er - convert ... er ...

|      thing ...

|

|                              HERALD

|      KING BRIAN HAS STUMBLED OVER HIS WORDS! WHAT A WONDERFULLY HUMAN

|      INCIDENT.

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      Don't editorialize!

|

|                              HERALD

|      SORRY, KING.

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      Come on you bastards! Sing close harmony!

|

|   KING BRIAN snaps his finders and the ARCHERS rise above the fence without

|   any pretence it concealment - fitting arrows into their bows.

|

|                              HERALD

|      KING BRIAN CALLS THEM BASTARDS AND DEMANDS TO HEAD CLOSE HARMONY!

|      WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      I said don't.

|

|                              HERALD

|      Sorry, King.

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      Right! On the count of three ... one ...

|

|                              HERALD

|      THE KING'S SAID ONE!

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      Two!

|

|                              HERALD

|      THE KING'S SAID TWO! THEY'VE ONLY GOT ONE LEFT!

|

|   We hear the sound of bows being drawn back.  Tension mounts.  the KNIGHTS

|   all look pretty grim.  The end is clearly pretty near.

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|          (face in a paroxysm of blood-lust)

|      Three!

|

|                              HERALD

|      THREE!

|

|   Sound in the distance of beautiful close harmony singing

|

|      "Bravely, good sir robin was not at all afraid..."

|

|   CUT TO see SIR ROBIN and his MINSTRELS approaching from round a corner

|   of the castle. SIR ROBIN walks a few feet in from of the them looking

|   rather embarrassed.

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|          (turning to the sound)

|      FANTASTIC!

|

|   CUT BACK TO ROBIN'S MINSTRELS

|

|      "To have his eyeballs skewered and his kidneys ... argh!"

|

|   They are suddenly pin-cushioned with arrows.

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      HA! HA! HA! HA! HO! HO! HO! HO!

|      Oh bloody marvellous!

|

|   ROBIN turns and looks at the decimated remains of his MINSTRELS, surprised

|   but relieved.

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      Sir Robin! this way!

|

|   ARTHUR leads is MEN off the platform and they are joined by their PAGES and

|   make good their escape.

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HO! HO! HO! HO!

|

|                              HERALD

|      KING BRIAN'S SHOT THE WRONG GROUP!

|

|                              KING BRIAN

|      Shut up!

|

|   HE swings his sword and slices the HERALD'S head off.

|

|                              HERALD'S HEAD

|          (as it rolls away)

|      PRESS FREEDOM INFRINGED!

|



28 EXTERIOR - BEYOND FOREST - DAY - ANIMATION



   Shots of ARTHUR etc.  Riding out of the forest.  They leave the forest and

   they meet LAUNCELOT and GALAHAD.



                               VOICE OVER

       And so Arthur and Bedevere and Sir Robin set out on their search to

       find the Enchanter of whom the old man had spoken in scene twenty-four.

       Beyond the forest they met Launcelot and Galahad, and there was much

       rejoicing.





29 EXTERIOR - ANOTHER LANDSCAPE - DAY - ANIMATION



                               VOICE OVER

       In the frozen land of Nador, they were forced to eat Robin's

       minstrels ...  And there was much rejoicing ... A year passed ...



   MONTAGE of shots of the KNIGHTS.



       Autumn changed into Winter ... Winter changed into Spring ...  Spring

       changed back into Autumn and Autumn gave Winter and Spring a miss and

       went straight on into Summer ...  Until one day ...





30 EXTERIOR - WASTES - DAY



   The KNIGHTS are riding along the top of a ridge.  The country is wild and

   inhospitable.  Suddenly some of them see fire in the distance and ride

   towards it.  As they approach they see an impressive WIZARD figure striding

   around conjuring up fire from the ground and causing various bushes and

   branches to burst into flame.



                               ARTHUR

       What manner of man are you that can conjure up fire without flint

       or tinder?



                               TIM

       I am an enchanter.



   ARTHUR looks at BEDEVERE.



                               ARTHUR

       By what name are you known?



                               TIM

       There are some who call me Tim?



                               ARTHUR

       Greetings Tim the Enchanter!



                               TIM

       Greetings King Arthur.



                               ARTHUR

       You know my name?



                               TIM

       I do.

           (does another fire trick)

       You seek the Holy Grail.



                               ARTHUR

       That is our quest.  You know much that is hidden O Tim.



                               TIM

           (does another fire trick)

       Quite.



   Ripple of applause from the KNIGHTS.



                               ARTHUR

       Yes we seek the Holy Grail.

           (clears throat very quietly)

       Our quest is to find the Holy Grail.



                               ONE OR TWO KNIGHTS

       Yes it is.



                               ARTHUR

       And so we're looking for it.



                               KNIGHTS

       Yes, we are.



                               BEDEVERE

       We have been for some time.



                               KNIGHTS

       Yes.



                               ROBIN

       Months.



                               ARTHUR

       Yes ... and obviously any help we get is ... is very ... helpful.



                               GALAHAD

       Do you know where it ...



   TIM does another fire trick.



                               ALL OTHER KNIGHTS

       Sssssh!



                               ARTHUR

       Fine ... well er ... we mustn't take up anymore of your time ...

       I don't suppose ... sorry to sort of keep on about it ... you

       haven't by any chance ... aaah ... any idea where one might

       find ... a ... aaa ...



                               TIM

       What?



                               ARTHUR

       A G...g...g...



                               TIM

       A Grail?



   They all jump slightly and look about apprehensively.



                               ARTHUR

       Er ... yes ... I think so.



                               ALL OTHER KNIGHTS

       Yes.



                               TIM

       Yes.



                               KNIGHTS

       Fine.



                               ROBIN

       Splendid!



                               OTHERS

       Yes, marvellous.



   TIM looks thoughtful and they all stand around a little.  Then TIM produces

   another fire trick producing several different colours.



                               ARTHUR

       Look, you're a busy man ...



                               TIM

       Yes, I can help you with your guest.



   Slight pause.



                               ALL OTHER KNIGHTS

       Thank you.  Yes, thank you very much.



                               TIM

       To the north there lies a cave,  the cave of Caerbannog,

       wherein, carved in mystic runes, upon the very living rock,

       the last words of Olfin Bedwere of Rheged ...



   There is a thunderclap and a wind starts.  They KNIGHTS get nervous.



                               TIM

        ... make plain the last resting place of the most Holy Grail.



                               ARTHUR

       How shall we find this cave, O Tim?



                               TIM

       Follow!



   The KNIGHTS register delight and wheel round on themselves.



       But follow only if you are men of valour.  For the entrance

       to this cave is guarded by a monster, a creature so foul

       and cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived.

       Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair ...

       therefore sweet knights if you may doubt your strength or courage

       come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty pointy teeth.

+

+                              ARTHUR

+      What an eccentric performance!

+



31 EXTERIOR - DAY



   CUT TO impressive rock face with caves in it.  The KNIGHTS are 'riding'

   towards it.  A foreboding atmosphere supervenes.  TIM gives a signal for

   quietness.  ARTHUR shushes the 'horses'.



                               ARTHUR

       Shhh!



   The PAGES decrease the amount of noise they are making with the coconuts

   for a few seconds.  Then there is a burst of noise from them including

   whinnying.



                               BEDEVERE

           (to ARTHUR)

       They're nervous, sire.



                               ARTHUR

       Then we'd best leave them here and carry on on foot.



   TIM takes a strange look at them.  They walk on leaving the PAGES behind.

   After a few more strides TIM halts them with a sign.



                               TIM

       Behold the Cave of Caerbannog!



   CUT TO shot of cave.  Bones littered around.  The KNIGHTS get the wind

   up partially.  A little dry ice, glowing green can be seen at the

   entrance.  Suddenly we become aware of total silence.  Any noises the

   KNIGHTS make sound very exaggerated.  They unsheathe their swords.



                               ARTHUR

       Keep me covered.



   Stir among KNIGHTS.



                               BEDEVERE

       What with?



                               ARTHUR

       Just keep me covered.



                               TIM

       Too late.



                               ARTHUR

       What?



                               TIM

       There he is!



   They all turn,, and see a large white RABBIT lollop a few yards out of the

   cave.  Accompanied by terrifying chord and jarring metallic monster noise.



                               ARTHUR

       Where?



                               TIM

       There.



                               ARTHUR

       Behind the rabbit?



                               TIM

       It is the rabbit.



                               ARTHUR

       ... You silly sod.



                               TIM

       What?



                               ARTHUR

       You got us all worked up.



                               BEDEVERE

       You cretin!



                               TIM

       That is not an ordinary rabbit ... 'tis the most foul cruel

       and bad-tempered thing you ever set eyes on.



                               ROBIN

       You tit.  I soiled my armour I was so scared!



                               TIM

       That rabbit's got a vicious streak. It's a killer!



                               GALAHAD

|      Oh, fuck off.

+      Get stuffed.



                               TIM

       He'll do you up a treat mate!



                               GALAHAD

       Oh yeah?



                               ROBIN

|      You turd!

+      Mangy scots git!



                               TIM

       Look.  I'm warning you.



                               ROBIN

       What's he do?  Nibble your bum?



                               TIM

       Well, It's got huge ... very sharp ... it can jump a...

       look at the bones.



                               ARTHUR

       Go on, Bors, chop its head off.



                               BORS

       Right.  Silly little bleeder.  One rabbit stew coming up.



                               TIM

       Look!



   As TIM points they all spin round to see the RABBIT leap at BORS'

   throat with an appalling scream.  From a distance of about twenty feet

   there is a tin opening noise, a cry from BORS.  A quick CLOSE-UP

   of a savage RABBIT biting through tin and BORS' head flies off.  The

   RABBIT leaps back to the mouth of the cave and sits there looking

   in the KNIGHTS' direction and growling menacingly.



                               ARTHUR

       Je...sus Christ!



                               TIM

       I warned you!



                               ROBIN

       I done it again.



                               TIM

       Did I tell you?  Did you listen to me?  Oh no, no, you knew better

       didn't you?  No, it's just an ordinary rabbit isn't it.  The names you

       called me.  Well, don't say I didn't tell you.



                               ARTHUR

       Oh, shut up.



                               TIM

           (quietly)

       It's always the same ... if I've said it once.



                               ARTHUR

       Charge!



   They all charge with swords drawn towards the RABBIT.  A tremendous twenty

   second fight with Peckinpahish shots and borrowing heavily also on the

   Kung Fu and karate-type films ensues, in which some four KNIGHTS are

   comprehensively killed.



       Run away!  Run away!



                               ALL KNIGHTS

           (taking up cry)

       Run away!  Run away!



   They run down from the cave and hide, regrouping behind some rocks.  TIM,

   some way away, is pointing at them and laughing derisively.



                               TIM

       Ha ha ha.  Ha ha ha.



                               ARTHUR

       Who did we lose?



                               LAUNCELOT

       Sir Gawain.



                               GALAHAD

       Ector.



                               ARTHUR

       And Bors.  Five.

+

+                              GALAHAD

+      Three, sir!

+

                               ARTHUR

       Three.  Well, we'll not risk another frontal

       assault.  That rabbit's dynamite.



                               ROBIN

       Would it help to confuse him if we ran away more.



                               ARTHUR

       Shut up.  Go and change your armour.



   ROBIN leaves, walking strangely.



                               GALAHAD

       Let us taunt it.  It may become so cross that it will make

       a mistake.



                               ARTHUR

       Like what?



   GALAHAD cannot find a suitable answer to this.



                               GALAHAD

       Do we have any bows?



                               ARTHUR

       No.



                               LAUNCELOT

       We have the Holy Hand Grenade.



                               ROBIN

       The what?



                               ARTHUR

       The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.  'Tis one of the sacred

       relics Brother Maynard always carries with him.



                               ALL

       Yes. Of course.



                               ARTHUR

           (shouting)

       Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!



   Slight pause.  Then from the area where the 'HORSES' are, a small group

   of MONKS process forward towards the KNIGHTS, the leading MONK bearing

   and ornate golden reliquary, and the accompanying MONKS chanting and

   waving incense.  They reach the KNIGHTS.  The hand grenade is suffused

   with the holy glow.



   ARTHUR takes it.  Pause



                               ARTHUR

       How does it ... er ...



                               LAUNCELOT

       I know not.



                               ARTHUR

       Consult the Book of Armaments.



                               BROTHER MAYNARD

       Armaments Chapter Two Verses Nine to Twenty One.



                               ANOTHER MONK

           (reading from bible)

       And St.  Attila raised his hand grenade up on high saying

       "O Lord bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow

       thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy. "and the Lord did grin and

       people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies

       and orang-utans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and...



                               BROTHER MAYNARD

       Skip a bit brother ...



                               ANOTHER MONK

       ... Er ... oh, yes ... and the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou

       take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more,

       no less.  Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the

       number of the counting shalt be three.  Four shalt thou not count,

       neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.

       Five is right out.  Once the number three, being the third number,

       be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

       towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.



                               ARTHUR

       Right.



   He pulls Pin out.  The MONK blesses the grenade as ...



                               ARTHUR

          (quietly)

       One, two

|      , three ...

+      , five ...

+

+                              GALAHAD

+      Three, sir!

+

+                              ARTHUR

+      Three.

+

   ARTHUR throws the grenade at the RABBIT.  There is an explosion and cheering

   from the KNIGHTS.



                               ALL KNIGHTS

       Praise be to the lord.  Huzzah!



32 INTERIOR - CAVE - DAY



   MIX THROUGH TO the KNIGHTS entering the cave.  It is a large cave and as

   they walk inside it we see in the darkness at the side of the cave

   a fearsome looking CREATURE which watches them with some surprise

   as they walk to some writing carved on the back of the cave wall.

   The KNIGHTS are accompanied by BROTHER MAYNARD.



                               ARTHUR

       There!  Look!



                               BEDEVERE

       What does it say?



                               GALAHAD

       What language is this?



                               BEDEVERE

       Brother Maynard, you are a scholar.



                               BROTHER MAYNARD

       It is Aramaic!



                               GALAHAD

       Of course.  Joseph of Aramathea!



                               ALL

       Of course.



                               ARTHUR

       What does it say?



                               BROTHER MAYNARD

       It reads ... "Here may be found the last words of Joseph of

       Aramathea."



   Excitement.



       "He who is valorous and pure of heart may find the Holy Grail

        in the aaaaarrrrrrggghhh..."



                               ARTHUR

       What?



                               BROTHER MAYNARD

        "The Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh..."



                               BEDEVERE

       What's that?



                               BROTHER MAYNARD

       He must have died while carving it.



                               BEDEVERE

       Oh, come on.



                               BROTHER MAYNARD

       That's what it says.



                               ARTHUR

           (miming)

       But if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve "Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh".

       He'd just say it.



                               BROTHER MAYNARD

       It's down there carved in stone.



                               GALAHAD

       Perhaps he was dictating.



                               ARTHUR

       Shut up.  Is that all it says?



                               BROTHER MAYNARD

       That's all.  "Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh".



                               ARTHUR

       "Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh".



                               BEDEVERE

       Do you think he meant the Camargue?



                               GALAHAD

       Where's that?



                               BEDEVERE

       France, I think.



                               LAUNCELOT

       Isn't there a St. Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh's in Cornwall?



                               ARTHUR

       No, that's Saint Ives.



   A muffled roar is heard.

|

|                              ROBIN

|      Hey!

|

|                              BEDEVERE

|      No, that's in Herefordshire.

|

|                              ROBIN

|          (more urgently)

|      No ... HEY!!!

|

|                              LAUNCELOT

|      "Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh ... "

|

|                              ROBIN

|      No!  "Hey"! is surprise and alarm!

+

+                              BEDEVERE

+      Oooooh!

+

+                              LAUNCELOT

+      No "Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh ... " at the back of the throat.

+

+                              BEDEVERE

+      No!  "Oooooh!" in surprise and alarm!

+

   He indicated the entrance of the cave.  They all turn and look.  There in

   the opening is a huge, unpleasant, fairly well drawn cartoon beast.



                               ARTHUR

       Oh!

                               GALAHAD

       My God!



                               LAUNCELOT

       What is it?



                               BEDEVERE

       I know!  I know!  I Know!



                               ARTHUR

       What?



                               BEDEVERE

       It's the ... oh ...

           (snaps his fingers as he tries to remember)

       it's the ... it's on the tip of my tongue ...



   Another hideous roar.



       That's it!



                               ARTHUR

       What?



                               BEDEVERE

       It's The Legendary Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh!

|

|  At that moment there is a yell and a scream OUT OF VISION.  ARTHUR turns.

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      Who was that?

|

|                              HECTOR

|          (from back of group; northern and helpful)

|      It was Sir Alf.

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      I didn't know we had a Sir Alf.

|

|                              HECTOR

|      He was feeding it bread.

|

|                              ARTHUR

|          (shouting back)

|      Well, that was a very silly thing to do.  Now the rest of you stand

|      well back from the BLACK BEAST of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh!

|

|                              HECTOR

|      Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh!

|

|                              ROBIN

|      Look out.

|

|  The animation MONSTER starts lumbering towards them.  The KNIGHTS retreat

|  into the darkness of the cave.

|

|                              GAWAIN

|          (as they run)

|      It's only a cartoon.

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      Sh!



   They run off.  Darkness.  The MONSTER lumbering through on animation.



+                              VOICE OVER

+      As the horrendous Black Beast lunged forward, escape for Arthur

+     and his knights seemed hopeless,  when, suddenly ... the animator

+     suffered a fatal heart attack.

+

+                              ANIMATOR

+      Aaaaagh!

+

+                              VOICE OVER

+      The cartoon peril was no more ... The Quest for Holy Grail

+      could continue.



   ANIMATED SEQUENCE.  Leads through to the group reappearing and seeing a

   distant opening to the cave.  They reach the opening.  It is day.





33 EXTERIOR - DAY



   The KNIGHTS emerge from the mouth of the cave to find themselves in a

   breathtaking, barren landscape.  Glencoe.  They are half they way up

   the side of a mountain.  They rest a few seconds and get their breath

   back.

|

|                              GALAHAD

|     Look!

|

+                              GALAHAD

+     There it is!

+

+                              ARTHUR

+     The Bridge of Death!

+

+                              ROBIN

+          (to himself)

+      Oh! Great ...

|

|   They look and see on the side of the mountain there is a sort of milestone

|   which bears the words:  "Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh!  5 miles" and an arrow.

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      God be praised.  This must be the gorge of which the old man spoke

|      in scene twenty-four.

|

|   The KNIGHTS set off along and rather perilous track edging along

|   the side of the mountain.  GALAHAD is leading.

|

|   MIX THROUGH they are climbing higher.  The path gets more and more

|   slippery and dangerous.  They reach another milestone which says:

|   "Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh!  4 miles" and an arrow, and "Ni!  82 miles" and

|   an arrow pointing in the opposite direction.  They go on.  It is

|   dangerous and difficult.  Tension in their faces.

|

|   As they are climbing, BEDEVERE turns to ROBIN and ARTHUR.

|

|                              BEDEVERE

|      We must find the bridge ... the Bridge of Death ...

|

|                              ROBIN

|          (to himself)

|      Oh, great!

|

|                              BEDEVERE

|      The Bridge is guarded by a bridgekeeper, who asks each traveller

|      three questions.  And he who answers the three questions can

|      cross in safety.

|

|                              ROBIN

|          (warily)

|      And if you get a question wrong?

|

|                              BEDEVERE

|      You are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril.

|

|34 EXTERIOR - DAY

|

|   CUT TO them struggling along.  Perhaps downhill now.  It is growing misty.

|   SIR LAUNCELOT stops them and points.  They peer.

|

|   CUT TO see in the mist ... a weird bridge with mist swirling up from the

|   gorge below.  We cannot see the other side.

|

|   Beside the bridge an OLD MAN stands, he is the blind soothsayer they

|   met earlier in the forest.

|

|                              ARTHUR

|          (to BEDEVERE)

|      He's the Keeper of the Bridge.  It's the old man.

|

|                              BEDEVERE

|          (swallowing hard)

|      Who's going to answer the questions?

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      You go, Robin, and God be with you.

|

|                              ROBIN

|          (looking round wildly)

|      Er ... I tell you what -

|          (lowering voice)

|      Why doesn't Launcelot go?

|

|                              ARTHUR

|          (considering a moment)

|      Very well ... Sir Launcelot.  Brave Sir Launcelot.  This is the Bridge

|      of Death ...

|

|                              LAUNCELOT

|      Oh, yes sir ... I will take it single-handed.

|          (drawing his sword)

|      I will ...

|

|   ARTHUR restrains him.

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      No, hang on.  All we want is for you to approach the old man

|      and he will ask you three questions.  Answer those question as

|      best you can, and we will watch ... and pray.

|

|                              LAUNCELOT

|      Yes, my liege ...

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      Good luck, brave Sir Launcelot!  Be careful ...

|

|   They shake hands, Arthur's eyes moisten.  LAUNCELOT approaches the

|   Bridge of Death.

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      Listen to the questions.

+

+                              BEDEVERE

+      Look!  It's the old man from scene 24 - what's he Doing here?

+

+                              ARTHUR

+      He is the keeper of the Bridge.  He asks each traveler five questions ...+

+                              GALAHAD

+      Three questions.

+

+                              ARTHUR

+      Three questions ... he who answers the five questions

+

+                              GALAHAD

+      Three questions.

+

+                              ARTHUR

+      Three questions, may cross in safety.

+

+                              ROBIN

+          (warily)

+      And if you get a question wrong?

+

+                              ARTHUR

+      You are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril.

+

+                              ROBIN

+      Oh ... wacho!

+

+                              GALAHAD

+      Who's going to answer the questions?

+

+                              ARTHUR

+      Sir Robin, Brave Sir Robin you go.

+

+                              ROBIN

+      Hey! I've got a great idea!

+      Why doesn't Launcelot go?

+

+                              LAUNCELOT

+      Yes. Let me.  I will take it single-handed ...

+      I will make feint to the north-east ...

+

+                              ARTHUR

+      No, hang on!  Just answer the five questions ...

+

+                              GALAHAD

+      Three questions ...

+

+                              ARTHUR

+      Three questions ...  And we shall watch ... and pray.

+

+                              LAUNCELOT

+      I understand, my liege.

+

+                              ARTHUR

+      Good luck,  brave Sir Launcelot ...  God be with you.

+

+   LAUNCELOT APPROACHES THE BRIDGEKEEPER.

+

                               BRIDGEKEEPER

       Stop!



   SIR LAUNCELOT stops.  The KNIGHTS watch anxiously.  ARTHUR sniffs briefly

   and glances momentarily down at SIR ROBIN's lower armour.



                               BRIDGEKEEPER

       Who approaches the Bridge of Death

       Must answer me

       These questions three!

       Ere the other side he see.



                               LAUNCELOT

       Ask me the questions, Bridgekeeper.  I am not afraid.



                               BRIDGEKEEPER

       What is your name?



                               LAUNCELOT

       My name is Sir Launcelot.



                               BRIDGEKEEPER

       What is your quest?



                               LAUNCELOT

       To find the Holy Grail.



                               BRIDGEKEEPER

       What is your favorite colour?



                               LAUNCELOT

       Blue.



                               BRIDGEKEEPER

       Right.  Off you go.



   SIR LAUNCELOT runs across into the mist.  The bridge perhaps disappears

   into the mist and we cannot see the other side.  ARTHUR and SIR ROBIN

   exchange glances.  ROBIN breathes a great sigh of relief.



                               ROBIN

       That's easy!



                               BRIDGEKEEPER

       Stop!

       Who approacheth the Bridge of Death

       Must answer me

       These questions three!

       Ere the other side he see!



                               ROBIN

       Ask me the questions, Bridgekeeper.  I am not afraid.



                               BRIDGEKEEPER

       What is your name?



                               ROBIN

       My name is Sir Robin of Camelot!



                               BRIDGEKEEPER

       What is your quest?



                               ROBIN

       To seek the Grail!



                               BRIDGEKEEPER

       What is the capital of Assyria?



                               ROBIN

           (indignantly)

       I don't know that!



   He is immediately hurled by some unseen force over the edge of the

   precipice.



                               ROBIN

       Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh!





35 EXTERIOR - DAY



   CUT TO SIR LAUNCELOT who is only just arriving on the other side.  He looks

   back across the invisible chasm.  Dimly in the distance he hears:



                               GAWAIN  (OUT OF VISION)

       Sir Gawain of Camelot!



                               BRIDGEKEEPER (OOV)

       What is your quest?



                               GAWAIN (OOV)

       To seek the Holy Grail.

|

|                              BRIDGEKEEPER (OOV)

|      What goes:  black white ... black white ... black white?

|

|                              GAWAIN (OOV)

|      Oh, er ... Babylon!  er ... Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh!

|

|   SIR LAUNCELOT stands on the other side of the bridge.  In the

|   distance we hear the ritual of questions and then a scream and thud,

|   suddenly a hand lands on LAUNCELOT's shoulder.

|

|                              POLICEMAN (VOICE OVER)

|      Just want to ask you some questions, sir.

|

|    LAUNCELOT turns and reacts.  He is led away.

|

|

|36 EXTERIOR - LAKE - DAY

|

|   CUT TO ARTHUR, GALAHAD and BEDEVERE struggling towards the lake.

|

|                              BEDEVERE

|          (to ARTHUR)

|      How did you know how many wing-beats a swallow needs to

|      maintain velocity?

|

|                              ARTHUR

|      Oh ... when you're king you know all those things.

+

+                              BRIDGEKEEPER

+      What is your favorite colour?

+

+                              GAWAIN

+      Blue ...  No yelloooooww!

+

+   ARTHUR and BEDEVERE step forward.

+

+                              BRIDGEKEEPER

+      What is your name?

+

+                              ARTHUR

+      It is Arthur, King of the Britons.

+

+                              BRIDGEKEEPER

+      What is your quest?

+

+                              ARTHUR

+      To seek the Holy Grail.

+

+                              BRIDGEKEEPER

+      What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

+

+                              ARTHUR

+      What do you mean?  An African or European swallow?

+

+                              BRIDGEKEEPER

+      Er ...  I don't know that ... Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh!

+

+   BRIDGEKEEPER is cast into the gorge.

+

+                              BEDEVERE

+      How do you know so much about swollows?

+

+                              ARTHUR

+      Well you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.

+

   Suddenly they appear at water's edge.  They look across the water.  A huge

   expanse disappearing into the mist.  How can they cross?



   Suddenly the air is filled with ethereal music, and out of the mist

   appears a wonderful barge silently and slowly drifting towards them.



   They gaze in wonder.  The mysterious boat comes to where they are standing.

   As if bewitched, they find themselves drawing closer

|   to the boat.  As they are about to step in, a ragged figure looks

|   up at them.

|

|                              BOATKEEPER

|          (he is the same as the BRIDGEKEEPER and the SOOTHSAYER)

|      He who would cross the Sea if Fate

|      must answer me

|      these questions twenty-eight.

|

|   He fixes them with a baleful eye, ARTHUR and BEDEVERE exchange glances,

|   then turn, with minds made up, pick him up bodily and throw him in the

|   water.  They climb into the boat and the boat moves off into the mist

|

|   FADE OUT

|

|

|37 ANIMATION

|

|   A wondrous journey in animation carries them across the lake.

|

|   MIX TO





38 EXTERIOR - DAY



   The boat carries them across a magical lake.  They land and get out of

   the boat, their faces suffused with heavenly radiance, and fall to their

   knees.



   Crescendo on music.



                               ARTHUR

       God be praised!  The deaths of many find knights have this day

       been avenged.



   Music swells.  They bend their heads in prayer, before the castle for

   which they have searched for so long.  Suddenly a voice comes from

   the battlements.



   Music cuts dead.



                               FROG

       Ha ha!  Hello!  Smelly English K...niggets ... and Monsieur Arthur

       King, who has the brain of a duck, you know.



   The KNIGHTS look up.



                               FROG

       We French persons outwit you a second time, perfidious English

       mousedropping hoarders ... how you say:  "Begorrah!"



   ARTHUR stands and shouts.



                               ARTHUR

       How dare you profane this place with your presence!  I command

       you, in the name of the Knights of Camelot, open the door to the

       Sacred Castle, to which God himself has guided us!

           (he turns to the KNIGHTS)

       Come.



   ARTHUR and the KNIGHTS advance towards the castle.



                               FROG

       How you English say:  I one more time, mac, I unclog my nose towards you,

       sons of a window-dresser,  so, you think you could out-clever us French

       fellows with your silly knees-bent creeping about advancing

       behaviour.

           (blows a raspberry)

       I wave my private parts at your aunties, you brightly-coloured,

       mealy-templed, cranberry-smelling, electric donkey-bottom biters.



   By this time ARTHUR and BEDEVERE and GALAHAD have reached the door.

   ARTHUR bangs on the door.



                               ARTHUR

       In the name of the Lord, we demand entrance to this sacred

       castle.



   Jeering from the battlements.



                               FROG

       No chance, English bed-wetting types.  We burst our pimples at you,

       and call your door-opening request a silly thing. You tiny-brained

       wipers of other people's bottoms!



   French laughter



                               ARTHUR

       If you do not open these doors, we will take this castle by force ...



   A bucket of slops land on ARTHUR.  He tries to retain his dignity.



                               ARTHUR

       In the name of God ... and the glory of our ...



   Another bucket of what can only be described as human ordure hits ARTHUR.



       ... Right!

           (to the KNIGHTS)

       That settles it!



   They turn and walk away.  French jeering follows them.



                               FROG

       Yes, depart a lot at this time, and cut the approaching any more or

       we fire arrows into the tops of your heads and make castanets

       of your testicles already.



                               ARTHUR

           (to KNIGHTS)

       Walk away.  Just ignore them.



   ARTHUR, BEDEVERE and GALAHAD walk off.  A small hail of chickens,

   watercress,   badgers and mattresses follows them.  But they are on their

   dignity as they try to talk nonchalantly as they walk away into the trees.



                               FROG

       And now remain gone, illegitimate-faced bugger-folk!  And, if you think

       you got a nasty time this taunting, you ain't heard nothing yet, dappy

       k...niggets, and A. King Esquire.



|  CUT BACK TO the drenched BRIDGEKEEPER/SOOTHSAYER beside the lake He

|  rises up into SHOT.

|

|                              BRIDGEKEEPER

|      He would cross the sea of fate,

|      Must answer me these questions

|      Twenty-eight.

|

|  CUT TO see he is talking to two PLAIN-CLOTHES POLICEMEN and two

|  CONSTABLES.

|

|                              INSPECTOR

|      All right, put him in the van.

|

|  THE BRIDGEKEEPER is led away and put into a police van.

|

   CUT BACK TO ARTHUR still walking away.  French taunts still audible in

   the distance.



                               FRENCH

       You couldn't catch clap in a brothel, silly English K...niggets ...



                               ARTHUR

           (to BEDEVERE)

       We shall attack at once.



                               BEDEVERE

       Yes, my liege.

           (he turns)

       Stand by for attack!!



   CUT TO enormous army forming up.  Trebuchets, rows of PIKEMEN, siege

   towers, pennants flying, shouts of "Stand by for attack!"  Traditional

   army build-up shots.  The shouts echo across the ranks of the army.

   We see various groups reacting, and stirring themselves in readiness.



                               ARTHUR

       Who are they?



                               BEDEVERE

       Oh, just some friends!



   We end up back with ARTHUR.  He seems satisfied that the ARMY is ready.



   PANNING down the serried ranks, pikes ready, pennants flapping in the

   wind.  Some of the horses whinny nervously,  and rattle their coconuts.



   ARTHUR is satisfied at last.  He addresses the castle.



                               ARTHUR

       French persons!  Today the blood of many valiant knights shall

       bee avenged.  In the name of God, we shall not stop our fight

       until each one of you lies dead and the Grail returns to those

       whom God has chosen.



   ARTHUR lowers his visor, turns to have a last look at ARMY, then:



       CHARGE!



   The mighty ARMY charges.  Thundering noise of feet.  Clatter of coconuts.

   Shouts etc.



   The charge towards the castle.



   Suddenly there is a wail of a siren and a couple of police cars roar

   round in front of the charging ARMY and the POLICE leap out and stop

   them.  TWO POLICEMAN and the HISTORIAN'S WIFE.  Black Marias skid up

   behind them.



   The ARMY halts.

                               HISTORIAN'S WIFE

       They're the ones, I'm sure.



                               INSPECTOR END OF FILM

       Grab 'em!



   The POLICE grab ARTHUR and bundle him into the maria.



   SIR BEDEVERE is led off with a blanket over his head.  They are bundled

   into the black maria and the van drives off.



   The rest of the ARMY stand around looking at a loss.



                               INSPECTOR END OF FILM

           (picks up megaphone)

       All right!  Clear off!  Go on!



   A few reaction shots of the ARMY not quite sure what to do.



                               INSPECTOR END OF FILM

       Move along.  There's nothing to see!  Keep moving!



   Suddenly he notices the cameras.



   As the black maria drives away QUICK SHOT through window of all the

   KNIGHTS huddled inside.



                               INSPECTOR END OF FILM

           (to Camera)

       All right, put that away sonny.



   He walks over to it and puts his hand over the lens.



   The film runs out through the gate and the projector shines on the

   screen.



   There is a blank screen for some fifteen seconds.

|

|  Suddenly jazzy music.  Animated titles.  (A new film completely free

|  with the Monty Python film.)

|

|

|                         "THE CREDITS"

|

|  Four of five minute film (mainly animated) about the credits, i.e it

|  includes the actual credits for the film but is really elaborate.

|

|

|                          THE END

|

+

+  Slushy organ music starts and the houselights in the cinema come on ...

+  organ music continues as the audience leave.

+





-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cast list:





  GRAHAM CHAPMAN PLAYED:        KING ARTHUR. HICCOUGHING GUARD,

                                THREE-HEADED KNIGHT

  JOHN CLEESE PLAYED:           SECOND SOLDIER WITH A KEEN INTEREST IN BIRDS,

                                LARGE MAN WITH DEAD BODY, BLACK KNIGHT,

                                MR NEWT (A VILLAGE BLACKSMITH INTERESTED IN

                                BURNING WITCHES), A QUITE EXTRAORDINARILY

                                RUDE FRENCHMAN, TIM THE WIZARD, SIR LAUNCELOT



  TERRY GILLIAM PLAYED:         PATSY (ARTHUR'S TRUSTY STEED), THE GREEN

                                KNIGHT SOOTHSAYER, BRIDGEKEEPER, SIR GAWAIN

                                (THE FIRST TO BE KILLED BY THE RABBIT)



  ERIC IDLE PLAYED:             THE DEAD COLLECTOR, MR BINT (A VILLAGE NE'ER-DO

                                -WELL VERY KEEN ON BURNING WITCHES), SIR ROBIN,

                                THE GUARD WHO DOESN'T HICOUGH BUT TRIES TO GET

                                THINGS STRAIGHT, CONCORDE (SIR LAUNCELOT'S

                                TRUSTY STEED), ROGER THE SHRUBBER (A SHRUBBER),

                                BROTHER MAYNARD



  NEIL INNES PLAYED:            THE FIRST SELF-DESTRUCTIVE MONK, ROBIN'S LEAST

                                FAVORITE MINSTREL, THE PAGE CRUSHED BY A

                                RABBIT, THE OWNER OF A DUCK

  TERRY JONES PLAYED:           DENNIS'S MOTHER, SIR BEDEVERE, THREE-HEADED

                                KNIGHT, PRINCE HERBERT



  MICHAEL PALIN PLAYED:         1ST SOLDIER WITH A KEEN INTEREST IN BIRDS,

                                DENNIS, MR DUCK (A VILLAGE CARPENTER WHO IS

                                ALMOST KEENER THAN ANYONE ELSE TO BURN

                                WITCHES), THREE-HEADED KNIGHT, SIR GALAHAD,

                                KING OF SWAMP CASTLE, BROTHER MAYNARD'S

                                ROOMATE



  CONNIE BOOTH PLAYED:          THE WITCH



  CAROL CLEVELAND PLAYED:       ZOOT AND DINGO



  BEE DUFFELL PLAYED:           OLD CRONE TO WHOM KING ARTHUR SAID "NI!"



  JOHN YOUNG PLAYED:            THE DEAD BODY THAT CLAIMS IT ISN'T, AND THE

                                HISTORIAN WHO ISN'T A.J.P. TAYLOR AT ALL



  RITA DAVIES PLAYED:           THE HISTORIAN WHO ISN'T A.J.P. TAYLOR

                                (HONESTLY)'S WIFE



  SALLY KINGHORN PLAYED:        EITHER WINSTON OR PIGLET



  AVRIL STEWART PLAYED:         EITHER PIGLET OR WINSTON



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PYTHON (MONTY) PICTURES LTD

 Registered Address: 20 Fitzroy Square, London W1P6BB

 Registerd Number 1138069 England



                                                               August 5th, 1974.

Dear Mike,



The Censor's representative, Tony Kerpel, came along to Friday's

screening at Twinkenham and he gave up his opinion of the film's

probale certificate.



He thinks the film will be AA, but it would be possible, given

some dialogue cuts, to make the film an A rating, which would

increase the audience.  (AA is 14 and over, and A is 5-14).



For an 'A' we would have to:



           Lose as may shits as possible



           Take Jesus Christ out, if possible



           Loose "I fart in your general direction"



           Lose "the oral sex"



           Lose "oh, fuck off"



           Lose "We make castanets out of your testicles"



I would like to get back to the Censor and agree to lose the

shits, take the odd Jesus Christ out and lose Oh fuck off, but

to retain 'fart in your general direction', 'castanets of your

testicles' and 'oral sex' and ask him for an 'A' rating on

that basis.



Please let me know as soon as possible your attitude to this.



Yours sincerely,



Mark Forstater

Q: What is Helen Keller's favorite color? A1: Corduroy. A2: Velcro. Q. Why is all of Helen Keller's face burnt? A. She was bobbing for french fries. Q: How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? A: She answer the iron. Q: How did she burn the other side of her face? A: They called back. Q: Why was Helen Keller's leg wet? A: Her dog was blind too. Q. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? A. she needs the other to moan with. Q. How did she burn her fingers? A. Reading the waffle iron Q. What did she do when she fell down the well? A. She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue. Q. How come she didn't scream when she fell off the cliff? A. She was wearing mittens Q. Why does she wear skin tight pants? A. So you can read her lips Q. Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? A. You would too if your name was 'Urghrrghrghr'. Q. Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll? A. Wind it up and it walks into walls. Q. What's this (slowly waving fingers)? A. Helen Keller moaning Q: Who is the cruelest man in the world? A: The guy who raped Helen Keller, then cut off her hands so she couldn't scream for help. Q: How come Helen Keller can't have kids?? A: Because she's DEAD! Q. How did Helen Keller drive herself crazy? A. Trying to read a stucco wall. Q: What did HK's parent's do to punish her? A1: Rearranged the furniture A2: Left the plunger in the toilet bowl A3: Put Saran Wrap on the toilet. A4: Put her in a round room and told her there's a penny in the corner A5: Washed her hands out with soap A6: Gave her bird-seed to read. A7: Glued doorknobs to the walls Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? A1: She's a woman. A2: She's dead. Q: How did Helen Keller break her arm in the car? A: Trying to read stop signs. Q: How did HK get poke marks on her face? A: Learning to eat with a fork. Q: What's the name of Helen Keller's favorite book? A: "Around the block in 80 Days" Q: Define true love. A: Hellen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing tennis. Q: Did you know that Helen Keller had a dollhouse in the backyard? A: Neither did she. Q: How did Helen Keller drive her car? A: One hand on the wheel; The other on the road. Q: How did Helen Keller meet her husband? A: On a blind date! Q: How did Helen Keller pierce her ear? A: Answering the stapler. Q: How did Helen Keller's teachers punish her for talking in class? A: They made her wear mittens. Q: Why didn't Helen Keller change her baby's diaper? A: So she could always find him. Q: Why did Helen Keller have yellow fingers? A: from whispering sweet-nothings in her boyfriends ear Q: How did Helen Keller pick her eyes out? A: She shouted histerically.

2017-01-13 17:33:27 UTC

pixar up

2017-01-13 17:34:03 UTC

UP

Written by

Pete Docter, Bob Peterson & Thomas McCarthy

1.

A 1930's NEWSREEL.

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
"Movietown News" presents...
Spotlight on Adventure!

The mysterious SOUTH AMERICAN JUNGLE. A massive waterfall
cascades down a gigantic, flat-topped mountain.

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
What you are now witnessing is
footage never before seen by
civilized humanity: a lost world in
South America! Lurking in the
shadow of majestic Paradise Falls,
it sports plants and animals
undiscovered by science. Who would
dare set foot on this inhospitable
summit?

A painted portrait of a dashing young adventurer.

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Why, our subject today: Charles
Muntz!

A massive DIRIGIBLE descends on an airfield.

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
The beloved explorer lands his
dirigible, the "Spirit of
Adventure," in New Hampshire this
week, completing a year long
expedition to the lost world!

INT. MOVIE THEATRE - CONTINUOUS

Of everyone watching in the modest, small town theater, no
one is more enthralled than 8 year old CARL FREDRICKSEN.

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
This lighter-than-air craft was
designed by Muntz himself, and is
longer than 22 Prohibition paddy-
wagons placed end to end.

Young Carl stares, mouth agape, wearing leather flight helmet
and goggles -- just like his idol on the silver screen.

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
And here comes the adventurer now!

2.

NEWSREEL FOOTAGE: the dashing Muntz descends down the
gangplank to the delight of the crowd. His dogs trail him.

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Never apart from his faithful dogs,
Muntz conceived the craft for
canine comfort! It's a veritable
floating palace in the sky...

An opulent dining room.

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
...complete with doggie bath and
mechanical canine walker.

One dog runs suffers through mechanized bath time, while a
second wears an electrode helmet and runs on a treadmill.

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
And Jiminy Cricket, do the locals
consider Muntz the bee's knees!
And how!

Cameras flash as Muntz stands heroic, striking his signature
"thumbs up" stance.

MUNTZ
"Adventure is out there!"

In the theater, Young Carl returns the thumbs up.

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
But what has Muntz brought back
this time?

Muntz speaks to a crowded auditorium, on stage beside a
curtained object.

MUNTZ
Gentlemen, I give you: the Monster
of Paradise Falls!

He pulls away the drape to reveal a GIANT BIRD SKELETON.

CROWD
Ooh!
Young Carl leans forward, eyes bulging.

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
And golly, what a swell monster
this is. But what's this?

Skeptical scientists analyze the bones.

3.

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Scientists cry foul! The National
Explorers Society accuses Muntz of
fabricating the skeleton!

YOUNG CARL
No!

Muntz's portrait is removed from a wall of paintings of other
famous explorers.

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
The organization strips Muntz of
his membership.

Muntz's "Explorer's Society" badge is ceremoniously RIPPED
from his jacket.
Carl GASPS.

Muntz stands next to his dirigible at an airfield. He grimly
addresses the crowd.

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Humiliated, Muntz vows a return to
Paradise Falls and promises to
capture the beast... alive!

MUNTZ
I promise to capture the beast...
alive!

In the theater, young Carl smiles.

MUNTZ
And I will not come back until I do!
The crowd CHEERS.

Muntz gives his thumbs up from the cockpit as the dirigible
lifts off.

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
And so the explorer is off to clear
his name. Bon voyage Charles
Muntz, and good luck capturing the
Monster of Paradise Falls!
Carl looks like he just witnessed a miracle.

DISSOLVE TO:

4.

EXT. SMALL TOWN NEIGHBORHOOD, 1930'S - DAY - CONTINUOUS

Young Carl "flies" his blue balloon ("The Spirit of
Adventure" hand-written on it) as he runs along the sidewalk.
He still wears helmet and goggles.

TITLE CARD: WALT DISNEY PICTURES PRESENTS

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Here's Charles Muntz piloting his
famous dirigible!!

TITLE CARD: A PIXAR ANIMATION STUDIOS FILM

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
He hurdles Pike's Peak!

Carl jumps over a small rock.

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
He hurdles the Grand Canyon!

Carl jumps over a crack in the sidewalk.

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
He hurdles Mount Everest!

Carl jumps over a tree stump... and smacks into it instead.

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
He... goes around Mount Everest!
Is there nothing he cannot do?

TITLE CARD: UP

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Yes, as Muntz himself says:
"Adventure is--"

GIRL'S VOICE (O.S.)
"Adventure is out there!"
Carl stops. Who said that?

The voice comes from a dilapidated HOUSE, windows boarded up
and lawn overgrown with weeds.
The weather vane atop the house turns, pulled by ropes.

GIRL'S VOICE (O.S.)
Look out! Mount Rushmore! Hard to
starboard. Must get the Spirit of
Adventure over Mount Rushmore...

5.

Carl walks toward the voice.

GIRL'S VOICE (O.S.)
Hold together old girl. How're my
dogs doing? Ruff ruff!

INT. DILAPIDATED HOUSE, HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

Carl squeezes through the broken door into the foyer. He
follows the voice toward the living room.

GIRL'S VOICE (O.S.)
All engines ahead full! Let's take
her up to 26,000 feet! Rudders
eighteen degrees towards the south.

INT. DILAPIDATED HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Carl rounds the corner to see...

ELLIE, an eight year old girl, her mussy red hair barely
visible beneath her flight helmet and goggles. Bare footed,
her overalls are patched and dirty.
The old house has been transformed into a make-believe
dirigible cockpit. Ellie steers, the wheel made from a rusty
old bicycle.

YOUNG ELLIE
It's a beautiful day, winds out of
the east at ten knots.
Visibility... unlimited.
(yells a command)
Enter the weather in the logbook!
The navigator (her hamster) skitters in its cage.

Ellie uses two tied-together Coke bottles as binoculars.

YOUNG ELLIE
Oh! There's something down there!
I will bring it back for science.
Awwww, it's a puppy!

Carl is distracted by the Muntz newspaper clippings taped to
the wall.

YOUNG ELLIE (O.S.)
No time! A storm! Lightning! Hail!
Ellie pops up in front of Carl.

6.

YOUNG ELLIE
What are you doing!?!

Carl screams. He lets go of his balloon. It floats through
a broken part of the ceiling and disappears.
Ellie circles Carl accusingly.

YOUNG ELLIE
Don't you know this is an exclusive
club? Only explorers get in here.
Not just any kid off the street
with a helmet and a pair of
goggles. Do you think you got what
it takes? Well, do you?!?

Carl FUMPHERS.

YOUNG ELLIE
Alright, you're in. Welcome aboard.
She offers her hand. Carl looks down, embarrassed.

YOUNG ELLIE
What's wrong? Can't you talk?
Carl is frozen. Ellie softens.

YOUNG ELLIE
Hey, I don't bite.
She takes off her helmet. Her hair frizzes out in all
directions.
She removes a homemade GRAPE SODA CAP pin from her shirt and
pins it on Carl.

YOUNG ELLIE
You and me, we're in a club now.

Carl smiles.

YOUNG ELLIE
I saw where your balloon went.
Come on, let's go get it!

Carl watches her stride out of the room. She pops back in.

YOUNG ELLIE
My name's Ellie.

She grabs his hand.
Carl blushes as she pulls him out of the room.

7.

INT. DILAPIDATED HOUSE, UPSTAIRS

YOUNG ELLIE
There it is.

Carl and Ellie look across the attic at the balloon. Between
them the floor has collapsed, save one rickety beam. Carl GULPS.

YOUNG ELLIE
Well, go ahead.
She pushes him out onto the beam.

YOUNG ELLIE
Go on.

Carl steels his courage. He puts on his goggles, starts
forward... and FALLS through the floor.

CUT TO:

EXT. SMALL TOWN NEIGHBORHOOD STREET - DAY

Ambulance. SIREN blaring.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE - NIGHT

One lone light on upstairs.

INT. CARL'S ROOM

Carl in bed, reading a book by flashlight, his arm in a CAST.

Into the room floats Carl's lost BLUE BALLOON.
Carl jumps and CALLS OUT in fright.

YOUNG CARL
(re: arm)
Ow!

A head pops up from outside the open window.

YOUNG ELLIE
Hey kid!!

Carl SCREAMS, hitting himself in the face with the cast.

YOUNG CARL
Ow!!

8.

Ellie climbs in the window.

YOUNG ELLIE
Thought you might need a little
cheerin' up. I got somethin' to
show ya!

INT. CARL'S ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

The two hunker under a blanket tent with a flashlight. Ellie
whispers, as if to protect a National Secret.

YOUNG ELLIE
I am about to let you see something
I have never shown to another human
being. Ever. In my life.
Carl's eyes widen in alarm.

YOUNG ELLIE
You'll have to swear you will not
tell anyone.
Carl nods.

YOUNG ELLIE
Cross your heart. Do it!
Carl crosses. Ellie unveils...

YOUNG ELLIE
My Adventure Book!
It's a reused photo album with the words "My Adventure Book"
written across it. She opens it to a photo of Charles Muntz.

YOUNG ELLIE
You know him.
Carl smiles excitedly.

YOUNG ELLIE
Charles Muntz, explorer. When I get
big, I'm going where he's going:
South America.
She turns the page to a map.

YOUNG ELLIE
It's like America... but south.
Wanna know where I'm gonna live?

9.

She turns to an engraving of a large waterfall. A small hand-
drawn picture of Ellie's clubhouse is glued to the top.

YOUNG ELLIE
(reading caption)
"Paradise Falls, a land lost in
time." I ripped this right out of
a library book.

Carl GASPS in horror.

YOUNG ELLIE
I'm gonna move my clubhouse there,
and park it right next to the
falls. Who knows what lives up
there? And once I get there...

She flips through her book, revealing a page marked, "STUFF
I'M GOING TO DO." Past that, the pages are blank.

YOUNG ELLIE
Well, I'm saving these pages for
all the adventures I'm gonna have.
Only... I just don't know how I'm
gonna get to Paradise Falls.
Ellie closes the book, disappointed.

Carl has a thought. He looks at his toy dirigible.

YOUNG ELLIE
That's it! You can take us there
in a blimp! Swear you'll take us.
Cross your heart! Cross it! Cross
your heart.

Carl does.

YOUNG ELLIE
Good. You promised. No backing out.

Carl shakes his head "no."

YOUNG ELLIE
Well, see you tomorrow kid! Bye.

Ellie hops up and jumps out the window.

YOUNG ELLIE
"Adventure is out there!!"

She pops back in.

10.

YOUNG ELLIE
You know, you don't talk very much.
I like you.

Carl looks out the window after her in amazement. He rests
his head on his balloon.

YOUNG CARL
Wow.

The balloon pops.

CUT TO:

INT. CHURCH - DAY

FLASH! A photo is taken of the wedding couple: Carl and
Ellie, now 19. She jumps at him and gives him a big kiss.

Ellie's side of the church erupts like wild frontiersmen. A
gun shot is fired in the air.

Carl's side, rigid puritans in black, clap politely.

EXT. DILAPIDATED HOUSE - DAY

Carl carries her past a "SOLD" sign. It's the same house
where they met as kids.

EXT. CARL AND ELLIE'S HOUSE - DAY

Still in their wedding clothes: She saws as he hammers.

INT. CARL AND ELLIE'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY

They push two chairs into place side by side in the living room.

EXT. CARL AND ELLIE'S HOUSE - DAY

Ellie finishes painting "Carl & Ellie" on their MAILBOX.
Carl leans in to admire her work but leaves a messy paint
handprint on the mailbox! Oh well; Ellie adds her handprint
as well. They smile.

EXT. CARL AND ELLIE'S HOUSE - DAY

Their house now matches Ellie's colorful CLUB HOUSE DRAWING
from her childhood Adventure Book.

11.

EXT. RURAL HILLSIDE - DAY

They run up a hillside together.

They lie side by side on a picnic blanket. She describes the
clouds. He watches as a cloud transforms into a turtle.

Carl closes his eyes and smiles. He's lucky to be with her.

EXT. ZOO - DAY

Ellie emerges from the South America House, dressed in her
Zookeeper's uniform.

Carl shows off his new BALLOON CART and uniform. Behind him
the balloons lift his cart off the ground. Carl jumps to
catch it. She giggles.

INT. CARL AND ELLIE'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY

Carl and Ellie sit side by side in their chairs, reading.
Without looking up from their books, they hold hands.

EXT. RURAL HILLSIDE - DAY

Again at their picnic spot, they watch clouds. Ellie sees an
elephant with wings. Carl gives it a try and points out a
BABY. Ellie lights up, excited. She sees ALL the clouds as
babies! Carl is stunned... but smiles.

INT. CARL AND ELLIE'S HOUSE, BABY ROOM - DAY

Ellie finishes painting a wall mural of a stork carrying a
bundle in its beak. Carl hangs a mobile above the crib.

INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON

Carl touches Ellie's shoulder as the doctor explains. Ellie
drops her head in her hands.

EXT. CARL AND ELLIE'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON

Carl looks out the window. Ellie sits alone under a tree,
the wind in her hair.

12.

EXT. CARL AND ELLIE'S HOUSE, YARD - AFTERNOON

Carl joins Ellie. He hands her the Adventure Book. She smiles.

INT. CARL AND ELLIE'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON

Ellie paints a MURAL of their house atop Paradise Falls over
the mantle. Carl organizes a compass, map, binoculars, and
native bird figurine beneath the painting. It's their shrine
to Adventure.

INT. CARL AND ELLIE'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON

Carl sets A JAR on a table, "PARADISE FALLS" written on it.
Ellie drops in a few coins. She looks at Carl and crosses
her heart. Carl crosses his.

A SERIES OF SHOTS

The jar slowly fills as Carl and Ellie toss in spare change.
Their car blows a tire.
The two stand by the jar, reluctant. Carl BREAKS the jar.

New tire.

Carl in the hospital with a broken leg.

Breaking jar.
A storm rages. A tree falls, crushing the roof.

Breaking jar.

INT. CARL AND ELLIE'S HOUSE, FRONT HALL - MORNING

Carl struggles to tie his tie. Ellie helps. They walk out
the front door arm in arm.

INT. CARL AND ELLIE'S HOUSE, FRONT HALL - 3 YEARS LATER

Ellie struggles to tie Carl's tie as they rush out the door.

A SERIES OF SHOTS as Ellie straightens Carl's ties. Stylish
1950's ties. Wide 60's ties. Paisley 70's ties.

13.

INT. CARL AND ELLIE'S HOUSE, FRONT HALL - 30 YEARS LATER

Older Carl and Ellie smile at themselves in the hall mirror.

EXT. ZOO - DAY

Carl in his 60's. They still work happily side by side at
the zoo. Carl's cart lifts off the ground. He casually
leans an elbow on it.

INT. CARL AND ELLIE'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Carl and Ellie dance in the evening candlelight. The
PARADISE FALLS JAR sits off to the side, now dusty and
forgotten.

INT. CARL AND ELLIE'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM WINDOW - AFTERNOON

Carl cleans the inside of the window. Ellie cleans the
outside.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON

Carl vacuums the Adventure Shrine on the mantle. Carl smiles
at a photo of Ellie as a child, wearing her flight helmet and
goggles. He looks up at the mural of their house at Paradise
Falls. His smile fades.

Behind him, Ellie sweeps the floor. Their dream has gone
unfulfilled.

Carl has an idea.

EXT. TRAVEL AGENCY - DAY

Carl buys two tickets to South America.

EXT. RURAL HILLSIDE - AFTERNOON

Carl hurries excitedly up picnic hill. He hides the airline
tickets in his basket.
Behind him, Ellie falters and falls. She tries to get up but
falls again. Something is wrong.

He runs to her.

14.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

Ellie lies in a hospital bed. She looks through her

ADVENTURE BOOK.

A BLUE BALLOON floats in to the room.

Carl stands at the door. He smiles and walks to her bedside.

Ellie pushes her Adventure Book toward him. She weakly pats
his cheek and adjusts his tie.

He kisses her on the forehead.

INT. CHURCH - AFTERNOON

Carl sits alone, next to a huge bouquet of balloons.

EXT. CARL AND ELLIE'S HOUSE - DUSK

Carl walks into the house, holding a single blue balloon.

FADE TO BLACK.

INT. CARL'S BEDROOM - MORNING - SEVERAL YEARS LATER

An ALARM CLOCK BUZZES. An aged hand shuts it off and picks
up the nearby glasses.

CARL sits alone in his double bed. He rubs his face. GRUNTS.
He gets out of bed, STRETCHING, GRUNTING and CRACKING BONES.

He grabs his cane, with four tennis balls stuck to the bottom
spokes.

INT. CARL'S STAIRCASE - LATER

Now dressed, Carl rides his ELDERLY ASSISTANCE CHAIR down the
staircase. This takes a LONG, LONG time.

Three quarters of the way down, the chair stops. He bangs
the armrest and the chair restarts.

INT. CARL'S KITCHEN - LATER

Carl eats breakfast by himself.

15.

INT. CARL'S LIVING ROOM WINDOW - LATER

Carl cleans the window with a cloth. His lonely reflection
stares back at him.

INT. CARL'S LIVING ROOM - LATER

Carl dusts the mantle and Shrine to Adventure.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, FRONT HALL - LATER

Carl looks in the hall mirror. He puts on his hat and
considers his reflection. He straightens his GRAPE SODA PIN.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE, PORCH - CONTINUOUS

Many LOCKS are heard unlocking from inside.
The door opens, but bangs against the safety chain. Carl
GRUMBLES in frustration.
Carl opens the door, walks out onto his porch, pulls the door
shut, and looks as if he's about to go somewhere.

He sits in his porch chair.

EXT. CARL'S NEIGHBORHOOD - CONTINUOUS

Carl's house is the lone surviving square on the block not
under construction. Machinery and workers circle busily.
High rise buildings are being erected all around.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE, PORCH - MORNING

Carl looks at the activity around him.

CARL
Quite a sight, huh Ellie?
(noticing mailbox)
Uhp, mail's here.

Carl walks to the mailbox. He touches Ellie's faded
HANDPRINT and smiles.

He looks through the mail.

He sees a SHADY OAKS RETIREMENT VILLAGE pamphlet full of
images of happy old people. Carl scoffs.

16.

CARL
Shady Oaks Retirement. Oh brother.

Carl notices DUST on his mailbox.

CARL
Hm.

He pulls up a LEAF BLOWER. He revs it and blasts off the dust.

TOM, the CONSTRUCTION FOREMAN, notices.

CONSTRUCTION FOREMAN TOM
Hey! `Morning, Mr. Fredricksen!
Need any help there?

CARL
No. Yes. Tell your boss over there
that you boys are ruining our house.

He points across the lot to a business man in a suit talking
on a cell phone - the REAL ESTATE DEVELOPER.

CONSTRUCTION FOREMAN TOM
Well just to let you know, my boss
would be happy to take this old
place off your hands, and for
double his last offer. Whaddya say
to that?
The leaf blower blasts off his hat.

CONSTRUCTION FOREMAN TOM
Uh, I take that as a no, then.

CARL
I believe I made my position to
your boss quite clear.

CONSTRUCTION FOREMAN TOM
You poured prune juice in his gas tank.

CARL
Oh yeah, that was good. Here, let
me talk to him.

Tom hands Carl his MEGAPHONE.

CARL
(in megaphone)
You in the suit. Yes, you. Take a
bath, hippy!

Tom grabs the megaphone.

17.

CONSTRUCTION FOREMAN TOM
(to Boss, re Carl)
I am not with him!
(to Carl)
This is serious. He's out to get
your house!

Carl walks to his front door.

CARL
Tell your boss he can have our house.

CONSTRUCTION FOREMAN TOM
Really?

CARL
When I'm dead!
Carl SLAMS the door.

CONSTRUCTION FOREMAN TOM
I'll take that as a maybe!

INT. CARL'S LIVING ROOM - DAY - LATER

Carl sits in his chair watching TV.

A KNOCK at the door.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE, PORCH - DAY

The door opens.
A Wilderness Explorer stands, reading from a Wilderness
Explorer Manual. He is in uniform, complete with sash,
neckerchief, hat, and an enormous backpack stuffed with every
piece of equipment there is. This is RUSSELL, age 8.
Russell, nose buried in his MANUAL, reads to Carl.

RUSSELL
"Good afternoon. My name is
Russell. And I am a Wilderness
Explorer in Tribe 54, Sweatlodge
12. Are you in need of any
assistance today, sir?"

As he finishes the script, Russell smiles up at Carl.

CARL
No.

18.

RUSSELL
I could help you cross the street.

CARL
No.

RUSSELL
I could help you cross your yard.

CARL
No.

RUSSELL
I could help you cross your... porch?

CARL
No.

RUSSELL
Well, I gotta help you cross
something.

CARL
Uh, no. I'm doing fine.

Carl closes the door in Russell's face.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, FRONT HALL - CONTINUOUS

Carl listens through the door. Is the kid gone? He opens it.

RUSSELL
"Good afternoon. My name is
Russell."

CARL
Uh... kid...

RUSSELL
"And I am a Wilderness Explorer in
Tribe 54, Sweatlodge 12."

CARL
Kid. KID!!

Russell stops... but goes back to reading.

RUSSELL
"Are you in need of any assistance
today Sir?"

CARL
Thank you, but I don't need any help!

19.

Carl swings the door shut, but a small camping boot stops it.

RUSSELL
Ow.

Carl opens the door. Russell stands at attention.

CARL

(RESIGNED)
Proceed.

RUSSELL
"Good afternoon. My-"

CARL
But skip to the end!

Russell points to his SASH. It is covered with badges except
for one glaringly empty space.

RUSSELL
See these? These are my Wilderness
Explorer badges. You may notice
one is missing. It's my Assisting
the Elderly badge. If I get it I
will become a Senior Wilderness
Explorer!
Russell makes the Explorer Sign: his thumbs form a "W", his
fingers the "wings" of a bird, then the "claws" of a bear.

RUSSELL
"The wilderness must be explored!

CAW-CAW! RAAAR!"

This sets Carl's hearing aid off. Carl GRUMBLES in pain.

RUSSELL
It's gonna be great! There's a big
ceremony, and all the dads come,
and they pin on our badges...

CARL
So you want to assist an old
person?

RUSSELL
Yep! Then I will be a Senior
Wilderness Explorer!
Carl leans in close to Russell.

20.

CARL

(CONSPIRATORIALLY)
You ever heard of a snipe?

RUSSELL
Snipe?

CARL
Bird. Beady eyes. Every night it
sneaks in my yard and gobbles my
poor azaleas. I'm elderly and
infirm. I can't catch it. If only
someone could help me...

RUSSELL
Me! Me! I'll do it!

CARL
Oh, I don't know, it's awfully
crafty. You'd have to clap your
hands three times to lure it in.

RUSSELL
I'll find it, Mr. Fredricksen!

CARL
I think its burrow is two blocks
down. If you go past --

RUSSELL
Two blocks down! Got it!

Russell runs down the block clapping and calling.

RUSSELL
Sniiiipe! Here Snipey Snipey...

CARL
(calls after Russell)
Bring it back here when you find
it!
Carl rolls his eyes and begins to close his door.

He stops short.

A large truck is backing up, getting dangerously close to

ELLIE'S MAILBOX.

CONSTRUCTION WORKER STEVE
Okay, keep her coming... And...
stop. Stop! STOP!!
The truck hits Ellie's mailbox, crushing the front.

21.

Carl is shocked. He runs to the box.

CARL
What? Hey! Hey you! What do you
think you're doing?

CONSTRUCTION WORKER STEVE
I am so sorry, sir...

The worker bangs on the mailbox, trying to fix it.

CARL
Don't touch that!

CONSTRUCTION WORKER STEVE
No no, let me take care of that for you.

Carl grabs the mailbox, trying to wrestle it from the worker.

CARL

(STRUGGLING)
Get away from our mailbox!

CONSTRUCTION WORKER STEVE
Hey sir, I...

CARL
I don't want you to touch it!
Carl HITS the worker with his cane. He falls to the sidewalk.
The worker rubs his head. Blood.

Carl backs up toward his door, cradling his mailbox. What
has he done?

Passerbys stare.
Workers gather, as does the REAL ESTATE DEVELOPER.

Carl backs into his house.

INT. CARL'S LIVING ROOM

Carl shuts his door. He closes the curtains.
He peeks out the window. The injured worker is helped to his
feet. A police car pulls up.

The Real Estate Developer looks toward Carl's house. His
hand rests on Carl's fence.

22.

INT. COURTHOUSE HALLWAY - DAY

Carl sits alone on a bench holding a Court Summons.

INT. COURTROOM - DAY

A GUARD opens the door. Carl enters. The REAL ESTATE
DEVELOPER watches him enter.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE - LATE EVENING

A Police Officer drops Carl at his front gate.

OFFICER EDITH
Sorry Mr. Fredricksen. You don't
seem like a public menace to me.
Take this.

She hands him a pamphlet for SHADY OAKS RETIREMENT VILLAGE.

OFFICER EDITH
The guys from Shady Oaks will be by
to pick you up in the morning, okay?
The officer drives off, leaving Carl alone.

Carl faces the house. He touches Ellie's dented mailbox.

CARL
What do I do now, Ellie?

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, HALLWAY - NIGHT

All is quiet but the slow ticking of the clock.
The empty hall.

The front hall mirror.
The kitchen.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, CLOSET

Carl pulls out a suitcase. A book tips over. Ellie's
Adventure Book.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM

Carl sits in his chair slowly paging through the book.

23.

He turns to the page marked "STUFF I'M GOING TO DO." He
closes the book and sighs.

Carl looks at the Adventure Shrine, and the PAINTING of their
house by Paradise Falls.
He holds the Shady Oaks pamphlet.

Carl's brows furrow. He looks up at the shrine, and crosses
his heart.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE - NIGHT

Lights are on inside the house.

MATCH DISSOLVE

TO:

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE - MORNING

A SHADY OAKS RETIREMENT VILLAGE van pulls up.
Nurses GEORGE and A.J. walk to Carl's door and KNOCK.
Carl answers, holding a suitcase.

CARL
Morning gentlemen.

NURSE GEORGE
Good morning, Mr. Fredricksen. You
ready to go?

CARL
Ready as I'll ever be. Would you
do me a favor and take this?

Carl hands over his suitcase.

CARL
I'll meet you at the van in just a
minute. I... want to say one last
goodbye to the old place.

NURSE GEORGE
Sure. Take all the time you need, sir.

Carl closes the door. Rather sharply. The nurses head back
to the van.

24.

NURSE A.J.
Typical. He's probably going to the
bathroom for the eightieth time.

Empty helium tanks are strewn on the front lawn.

NURSE GEORGE
You'd think he'd take better care
of his house.

A SHADOW falls over the nurses. They turn to look.

A giant tarp rises behind Carl's house. It unfolds to reveal

THOUSANDS OF BALLOONS.

The balloons rise up like some massive multi-colored cumulus
cloud forming a thunderhead above the house.
Strings tug at the chimney. The house strains. Pipes bend,
then break. Electrical wires spark and snap.
The house rips away from its foundation.

The nurses duck and YELL as the house soars over them. Carl
looks out the window and LAUGHS.

CARL
So long boys! I'll send you a
postcard from Paradise Falls!

INT. APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Balloons spill colored light into a little girl's room as the
house floats past.

EXT. TOWN

The shadow of the house drifts through an intersection.

EXT. SHOP WINDOW

A family watches the house float down the street.

EXT. ABOVE THE TOWN

Carl waves at a high-rise window washer, who tentatively
waves back.
The house crests the top of a building, drifting over and away
from the city. Carl looks out his window. Good riddance.

25.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM

Carl sets a compass next to the map of South America.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE, BEDROOM WINDOW

Sails made from stitched-together curtains emerge from the
windows and billow in the wind. Carl steers using ropes
attached to the weather vane.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM

The compass needle rotates to point SOUTH.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE

The house turns.
Carl looks out the window, satisfied. He checks the balloons.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM

Carl kisses a photo of Ellie.

CARL
We're on our way, Ellie.
Carl kneels at the fireplace and plunks the balloon strings
tied to the grate.
He CHUCKLES and settles into his chair. He closes his eyes
and smiles.
SHADOWS move gently across the fireplace mantle.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE, FLOATING

The house drifts through the clouds.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM

Carl relaxes in his chair.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

CARL
Huh?

26.

He stares at the front door. Nothing.

CARL
Hm.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

He bolts up and approaches the door. He looks out the peep
hole. Nothing but the porch and clouds. He throws it open.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE, PORCH - DAY - CONTINUOUS

Nothing. He looks left. Nothing. He looks right. Russell.
He looks... Russell?!!

RUSSELL
Hi, Mr. Fredricksen. It's me,
Russell.

CARL
What are you doing out here, kid?

Russell is plastered up against the wall, terrified and
holding on for dear life.

RUSSELL
I found the snipe and I followed it
under your porch, but this snipe
had a long tail and looked more
like a large mouse.

The flag on Russell's backpack blows off and falls through
the clouds.

RUSSELL
Please let me in?

CARL
No.

Carl slams the door, leaving Russell alone.
Beat. The door opens again.

CARL
Oh, alright, you can come...
Russell runs into the house past Carl.

CARL
...in.

27.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

Russell PANTS, panicked. He looks into living room.

RUSSELL
Huh. I've never been in a floating
house before.

Carl follows Russell into the living room. Russell chuckles
and points at the photo of young Ellie.

RUSSELL
Goggles. Look at this stuff!
Russell finds Ellie's house drawing sitting on the pages of
the open atlas.

RUSSELL
Wow, you going on a trip?
(reads from the engraving)
"Paradise Falls: A Land Lost in
Time." You going to South America,
Mr. Fredricksen?
Carl takes the page and puts it in his pocket.

CARL
Don't touch that. You'll soil it.

RUSSELL
You know, most people take a plane,
but you're smart because you'll have
all your TV and clocks and stuff.
Russell runs over to the steering rig.

RUSSELL
Whoah. Is this how you steer your
house? Does it really work?

CARL
Kid, would you stop with the --
Russell steers and the house tilts, knocking Carl back and
forth.

RUSSELL
Oh, this makes it go right, and
that way's left.

CARL
Let go of the -- knock it off!
Russell looks out the window in front of him.

28.

RUSSELL
Hey look, buildings!

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE, WINDOW - CONTINUOUS

Russell and Carl arrive at the window.

RUSSELL
That building's so close I could
almost touch it.

That gives Carl an idea.

CUT TO:

Carl lowers Russell on a rope below the floating house.

RUSSELL
Wow! This is great! You should try
this, Mr. Fredricksen! Look, there's
a bus that could take me home two
blocks away!
(looking up)
Hey, I can see your house from here!

CARL
(struggling to hold on)
Don't jerk around so much, kid!

The rope slips through Carl's hands. Russell FALLS.

CUT TO:
Carl stands beside Russell at the window. Russell's fall had
been a daydream.

CARL
Well, that's not gonna work.

Carl leaves Russell at the window.

RUSSELL
I know that cloud, it's a Cumulo
Nimbus. Did you know that the
Cumulo Nimbus...

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS

GRUMBLING, Carl kneels at the fireplace to cut a few balloon
strings with his housekeys.

29.

CARL
Stayed up all night blowing up
balloons, for what?

RUSSELL
...warm air goes by cool air, and
the airs go by each other and
that's how we get lightning.

CARL
That's nice, kid.

Carl turns off his hearing aid. Silence. He smiles.
Russell tries to get Carl's attention. A storm is brewing in
the distance.

RUSSELL
(nearly silent)
Mr. Fredricksen, there's a big
storm coming. It's starting to get
scary. We're gonna get blown to
bits! We're in big trouble, Mr.
Fredricksen!

A huge lightning bolt flash lights up the room. Carl turns
on his hearing aid.

CARL
What are you doing over there?

RUSSELL
Look!

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE, WINDOW - CONTINUOUS

Carl joins Russell at the window.

RUSSELL
See? Cumulo Nimbus.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The tiny house is heading for a MASSIVE STORM.
Carl STRUGGLES to steer the house away but is blown into the
storm. The steering mechanism recoils and sends Carl flying.

Plates fall from the walls and furniture slides as the house
is rocked in the storm.
Russell's backpack slides toward the front door.

30.

RUSSELL
My pack!

Russell HOPS on top of the backpack.

RUSSELL
Got ya!

The pack slides toward the OPEN FRONT DOOR. Russell screams.
He's about to slide out when the house tilts and the door
swings shut.

The Paradise Falls jar rolls past Carl. He chases after it.
Ellie's chair slides across the room. Carl gasps and runs to
protect it.

The photo of Ellie rocks and slides off the wall. Carl
lunges to catch it.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE, FLOATING

The storm rages. The house is tossed into the storm clouds.
All goes black.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - MORNING

Carl is asleep.
A finger pokes Carl's face. Nothing.

The finger pokes Carl's face again. Carl WAKES UP.

RUSSELL
Whew! I thought you were dead.

CARL
Wha... what happened?

Carl STRUGGLES to rise from the pile of Ellie's things he'd
been protecting.

RUSSELL
I steered us. I did! I steered
the house!

CARL
Steered us?

31.

RUSSELL
After you tied your stuff down you
took a nap, so I went ahead and
steered us down here.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE, WINDOW

Carl opens the window and looks out.

CARL
Huh?

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE, FLOATING

The house floats motionless above an ocean of clouds.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE, WINDOW

CARL
Can't tell where we are.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM

RUSSELL
Oh we're in South America all
right. It was a cinch, with my
Wilderness Explorer GPS.

Russell holds up his WILDERNESS EXPLORER GPS UNIT.

CARL
GP-what?

RUSSELL
My dad gave it to me. It shows
exactly where we are on the planet.
With this baby, we'll never be lost!
Russell gestures, tossing the unit out the window.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE, FLOATING

Carl and Russell watch the tiny GPS unit descend into the
clouds.

RUSSELL
Oops.

32.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM

Carl kneels by the fireplace and cuts at the balloon strings.

CARL
We'll get you down, find a bus
stop. You just tell the man you
want to go back to your mother.

RUSSELL
Sure, but I don't think they have
busses in Paradise Falls.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE, FLOATING

A small cluster of balloons fly up and away from the house.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM

CARL
There. That ought to do it. Here,
I'll give you some change for bus fare.

Russell follows Carl toward the front door.

RUSSELL
Nah, I'll just use my city bus pass.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE, FLOATING

The house lowers into the fog.

RUSSELL (O.S.)
Whoah, that's gonna be like a
billion transfers to get back to my
house.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE, PORCH

Carl and Russell stand on the porch as the house moves down
into and through the thick, dark clouds.

RUSSELL
Mr. Fredricksen, how much longer?

CARL
Well, we're up pretty high. Could
take hours to get down.
Something flashes by them in the fog. Carl leans forward.

33.

CARL

(MUMBLING)
...that thing was...building or
something.

Another dark object whooshes past them. Carl ducks.

RUSSELL
What was that, Mr. Fredricksen?

CARL
We can't be close to the ground yet.

A brief view of rocks directly below them.

Carl GASPS.

EXT. MOUNTAIN, ROCKY LANDSCAPE

BAM!!! The house CRASHES into the ground.

Russell and Carl fly off the porch and onto the ground. They
land hard.

Carl's house is floating away!

Carl runs after the GARDEN HOSE dragging across the ground.

CARL
Wait, wait! No don't, don't, don't!

Carl grabs the hose and is PULLED UP in the air.

CARL
Whoah! Hey, hey!
Russell JUMPS onto Carl's leg and the extra weight pulls them
to the ground.

CARL
Russell, hang on!
Carl and Russell slide toward the edge of a CLIFF EDGE.

RUSSELL
Whoah!
They slide toward the edge... and stop. The drop is
thousands of feet. Carl is TERRIFIED.

CARL
Walk back! Walk back!

34.

RUSSELL
Okay!

Russell PULLS Carl by the leg away from the cliff edge.
Carl, still hanging from the hose, looks around.
Fog blankets the mysterious landscape, revealing only
scattered rocks.

CARL
(out of breath)
Where... where are we?

RUSSELL
This doesn't look like the city or
the jungle, Mr. Fredricksen.
The wind picks up and they STRUGGLE against it.

CARL
(to house)
Don't worry, Ellie. I got it.
The wind clears the fog, slowly revealing a crescent shaped,
flat-topped mountain on which they stand.

Across it, some ten miles away, is PARADISE FALLS.
Carl stares. He can't believe it.

CARL
There it is. Ellie, it's so
beautiful.

The landscape is stunning.

Carl shows Russell the engraving with the Ellie drawing of
the house atop the falls.

CARL
We made it. We made it! Russell,
we could float right over there.
Climb up. Climb up!

RUSSELL
You mean assist you?

CARL
Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

RUSSELL
Okay, I'll climb up!

Russell CLIMBS Carl, stepping on his leg, arms, and face.

35.

CARL
Watch it.

RUSSELL
Sorry.
The hose jiggles as Russell CLIMBS out of frame.

CARL
Now, when you get up there, go
ahead and hoist me up! Got it?!

Russell continues to grunt and strain off screen.

CARL
You on the porch yet?!

Russell is just inches above Carl, still STRUGGLING to climb.
He slides down onto Carl's head, exhausted.

CARL
What? That's it?! I came all this
way just to get stuck at the wrong
end of this rock pile? Aw, great!

Carl paces.

RUSSELL
Hey, if I could assist you over
there, would you sign off on my
badge?

CARL
What are you talking about?

RUSSELL
We could walk your house to the
falls!

CARL
Walk it?

RUSSELL
Yeah, after all, we weigh it down.
We could walk it right over there.
Like a parade balloon.
Carl considers this.

36.

EXT. MOUNTAIN, ROCKY LANDSCAPE, DAY - LATER

The house floats against the sky. The hose descends from the
house and "Y"s to tie to both Carl and Russell. They wear
the hose like a harness, pulling the house as they walk.

CARL
Now, we're gonna walk to the falls
quickly and quietly, with no rap
music or flash-dancing.
Russell inspects his surroundings.

RUSSELL

(DISTRACTED)
Uh-huh.

CARL
We have three days, at best, before
the helium leaks out of those
balloons. And if we're not at the
falls when that happens...

RUSSELL
Sand!

CARL
...we're not getting to the falls!

RUSSELL
I found sand!

Carl ROLLS HIS EYES. He looks up at the house.

CARL
Don't you worry, Ellie. We'll get
our house over there.
Russell looks up at the house. Who's Carl talking to?

RUSSELL
Huh.
(shrugs it off)
This is fun already, isn't it? By
the time we get there, you're gonna
feel so assisted... Oh, Mr.
Fredricksen, if we happen to get
separated, use the Wilderness
Explorer call. Caw caw, raaar!!

The WILDERNESS EXPLORER CALL sets off Carl's hearing aid.

37.

RUSSELL
Wait. Why are we going to Paradise
Falls again?

CARL
Hey, let's play a game. It's
called: "See who can be quiet the
longest."

RUSSELL
Cool! My mom loves that game!

They head toward Paradise Falls, some 10 miles away.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. MOUNTAIN, JUNGLE CLEARING - DAY

Mist hangs ominously over a rocky landscape.
Something tall blasts through a maze of rocks.

Two dark shapes are chasing the prey. Each has a light.
Hunters.

EXT. MOUNTAIN, GROVE OF TREES - CONTINUOUS

The prey dodges various TRAPS, one after another. A metal
cage slams shut, a hidden net, darts on a trip wire.

The prey runs into a clearing surrounded by rocks: a dead end.

EXT. MOUNTAIN, CLEARING - CONTINUOUS

The hunters surround the prey, stepping out into the light: a
sinister Doberman Pinscher, a Rottweiler, and a bulldog, each
wearing large, HIGH-TECH COLLARS.

They surround the prey. Escape looks impossible.
WOOSH! The bird moves impossibly fast, jumping over the
three dogs and escaping in a flash.

The dogs head off in pursuit.
A HIGH PITCHED SQUEAL stops the dogs short, their ears
wincing in pain. They whimper and run off.

38.

EXT. MOUNTAIN, THICK JUNGLE - DAY - CONTINUOUS

Carl steps out from behind a shrub. The SQUEALING is in fact
his HEARING AID.

CARL
Darn thing.
(calling back)
C'mon, Russell, would you hurry it up?

Russell plods forward, dragging his feet.

RUSSELL
I'm tiiiired. And my knee hurts.

CARL
Which knee?

RUSSELL
My elbow hurts and I have to go to
the bathroom.

CARL
I asked you about that five minutes
ago!

RUSSELL
Well, I didn't have to go then!
Russell goes limp and lies face down in the dirt.

RUSSELL
I don't want to walk anymore. Can
we stop?

CARL
Russell! If you don't hurry up,
the tigers will eat you.

RUSSELL
There's no tigers in South America.
Russell rolls over to show Carl a badge.

RUSSELL
Zoology.

CARL
Oh, for the love of Pete. Go on into
the bushes and do your business.

RUSSELL
Okay! Here, hold my stuff.

39.

Somehow energized, Russell jams his pack into Carl's hands,
secures his rope to a tree and tromps off into the shrubs.

He goes into the woods carrying a small shovel in one hand
and a pile of leaves in another.

RUSSELL
I've always wanted to try this!

Carl waits, standing by the tree his house is tied to.

RUSSELL (O.S.)
Mr. Fredricksen? Am I supposed to
dig the hole before or after?

CARL
Eugh! None of my concern!
Beat.

RUSSELL (O.S.)
Oh. It's before!

Carl covers his ears.

EXT. MOUNTAIN, THICK JUNGLE - CONTINUOUS

Russell pats down a mound and SIGHS in satisfaction.

He is about to return to Carl when he spots some TRACKS.

RUSSELL
Huh? Tracks?!

(REALIZING)
Snipe!
Russell follows the tracks into the dark jungle, clapping.

RUSSELL
Here, snipe... Come on out, snipe.
Snipe!
The footprints continue for a time, then stop.

RUSSELL
Huh.
Russell munches on a chocolate bar.

Something RUSTLES in the bushes behind him. He turns to look.
Behind him, A BEAK takes a nibble of the chocolate and zips
out.

40.

Russell turns. Nothing there.

Another nibble! Zip!

RUSSELL
Ha! Gotcha!

Russell peers into the shrub.

RUSSELL
Don't be afraid, little snipe. I
am a Wilderness Explorer so I am a
friend to all of nature. Want some
more?

Russell holds out the chocolate. The beak pokes out and
nibbles.

RUSSELL
Hi boy. Don't eat it all. Come on
out.

The beak zips back into the bushes.

RUSSELL
Come on. Don't be afraid little
snipe. Nice snipe. Good little
snipe. Nice...
A massive shadowy creature rises up over Russell.

RUSSELL
...giant snipe!

EXT. MOUNTAIN, THICK JUNGLE CLEARING

Carl checks the knot on his hose harness. Russell and the
massive creature step up behind him.

RUSSELL
I found the snipe!

CARL
(humoring him)
Oh, did you?

RUSSELL
Are they tall?

CARL
Oh yes, they're very tall.

41.

RUSSELL
Do they have a lot of colors?

CARL
They do indeed.

RUSSELL
Do they like chocolate?

CARL
Oh ye- Chocolate?

Carl turns to look.
Next to Russell stands a 13 foot tall, multicolored BIRD.

Carl SCREAMS.

CARL
What is that thing?!

RUSSELL
It's a snipe!

CARL
There's no such thing as a snipe!

RUSSELL
But you said snipes eat--

Carl grabs Russell, pulling him away from the bird.

The bird HISSES at Carl and grabs Russell back. It cradles
Russell like a baby.

RUSSELL
Whoah!
Russell GIGGLES.

Carl pokes at the bird with his cane, trying to scare it off.

CARL
Go on, get out of here. Go on!
Shoo!

The bird HISSES.
It takes Russell up into a tree, swinging him around
playfully. It looks scary and fun.

RUSSELL

(LAUGHING)
Whoah! Whoah!

42.

CARL
Careful, Russell!

RUSSELL

(LAUGHING)
Hey, look Mr. Fredricksen, it likes
me!

CARL
Russell!
The bird grooms Russell.

RUSSELL

(LAUGHING)
No stop, that tickles!

Carl pokes the bird with his cane.

CARL
Get out of here. Go on, git!

The bird sets Russell down. It stalks Carl, HISSING and
ruffling its feathers.

CARL
Aaaah!

RUSSELL
Uh-oh! No no no no no Kevin, it's
okay. Mr. Fredricksen is nice!

Russell pats Carl on the head.

CARL
"Kevin"?

RUSSELL
Yeah, that's his name I just gave
him.

The bird pats Carl on the head with its beak.

CARL
Hey. Beat it! Vamoose! Scram!

Carl waves his cane. The bird eats it.

CARL
Hey! That's mine!

The bird chokes and the cane comes back up.

43.

CARL
Aaah! Shoo, shoo! Get out of here.

Carl shoos the bird away. The bird mimics him.

CARL
Go on, beat it.

GRUMBLING, Carl gives up and throws his hands in the air.

The bird mimics this as well.

RUSSELL
Can we keep him? Please?? I'll
get the food for him, I'll walk
him, I'll change his newspapers...

CARL
No.

RUSSELL

(RECITING)
"An Explorer is a friend to all, be
it plants or fish or tiny mole."

CARL
That doesn't even rhyme.

RUSSELL
Yeah it does.
Russell points up to the roof of Carl's house.

RUSSELL
Hey, look! Kevin!

CARL
What? Get down! You're not
allowed up there!

The bird is on Carl's roof. It swallows a balloon. It POPS.
The bird coughs up the deflated balloon. Russell GIGGLES.

CARL
You come down here right now!

The bird jumps down and hides behind Russell.

CARL
Sheesh! Can you believe this, Ellie?

RUSSELL
Ellie?
(gets idea)

(MORE)

44.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
Uh, hey Ellie, could I keep the
bird? Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
(to Carl)
She said for you to let me.

CARL
(to Ellie)
But I told him no --
(catches himself)
I told you no! N-O.
The bird HISSES at Carl.

EXT. MOUNTAIN, ROCKY LANDSCAPE - DAY

Carl and Russell pull the house through the mist.
Russell discreetly drops chocolate pieces along their trail.

The bird follows, eating.

CARL
I see you back there!

It "hides" behind a rock, still totally visible.

CARL
Go on, get out of here. Shoo! Go
annoy someone else for a while.

VOICE (O.S.)
Hey, are you okay over there?
The bird dashes away.

CARL
Uh, hello?

Carl and Russell look around. In the midst, some 100 feet
away, they see the FIGURE OF A MAN.

CARL
Oh! Hello sir! Thank goodness.

Carl walks toward the man.

CARL
It's nice to know someone else is
up here!

VOICE
I can smell you.

45.

Carl stops.

CARL
What? You can smell us?

VOICE
I can smell you.

As they get closer, they realize the man is in fact a ROCK.

CARL
Hey.

Russell GIGGLES.

RUSSELL
You were talking to a rock.
Russell points to another rock shape.

RUSSELL
Hey, that one looks like a turtle!

Sure enough.

RUSSELL
Look at that one! That one looks
like a dog!
The "rock" walks forward.

RUSSELL
It is a dog!

CARL
What?

RUSSELL
Uh, we're not allowed to have dogs
in my apartment.
The dog nuzzles Russell, who nervously pets it.

RUSSELL
Hey, I like dogs!

CARL
(calls out)
We have your dog!
(to self)
Wonder who he belongs to?

RUSSELL
Sit boy.

46.

The dog sits.

RUSSELL
Hey look, he's trained! Shake!

The dog raises his paw and Russell shakes it.

RUSSELL
Uh-huh. Speak.

DUG
Hi there.

Carl and Russell freeze.

CARL
Did that dog just say "Hi there?"

DUG
Oh yes.
Carl JUMPS back.

DUG
My name is Dug. I have just met
you and I love you.

Dug jumps up on to Carl.

CARL
Uh..wha?

Dug wears a high-tech collar. The dog's thoughts come out of
it as words through a speaker. It can talk. Unfortunately,
it talks non-stop.

DUG
My master made me this collar. He
is a good and smart master and he
made me this collar so that I may
talk -- SQUIRREL!!
Dug stares transfixed at a tree. False alarm.

DUG
My master is good and smart.

CARL
It's not possible.

DUG
Oh it is, because my master is
smart.

47.

RUSSELL
Cool! What do these do, boy?

He inspects the collar and twists a dial.

DUG
Hey would you-

(CLICK)
-cuerdo con tigo-

(CLICK)
I use that collar-

(CLICK)
-watashi wa hanashi ma-

(CLICK)
-to talk with, I would be happy if
you stopped.

CARL
Russell, don't touch that. It could
be radioactive or something.
Dug sniffs the ground around Carl and Russell.

DUG
I am a great tracker. My pack sent
me on a special mission all by
myself. Have you seen a bird? I
want to find one and I have been on
the scent. I am a great tracker,
did I mention that?
BAM! The bird tackles Dug and HISSES.

DUG
Hey, that is the bird! I have
never seen one up close but this is
the bird.
(to Carl)
May I take your bird back to camp
as my prisoner?

CARL
Yes! Take it! And on the way,
learn how to bark like a real dog!

DUG
Oh I can bark!
Dug BARKS.

DUG
And here's howling!
Dug HOWLS. The bird HISSES at Dug.

48.

RUSSELL
Can we keep him? Please please
please?

CARL
No.

Russell falls to his knees, pleading.

RUSSELL
But it's a talking dog!

CARL
It's just a weird trick or
something. Let's get to the falls.

Carl grabs Russell. The bird follows, as does Dug.

DUG
Please be my prisoner. Oh please oh
please be my prisoner.

EXT. MOUNTAIN, THICK JUNGLE CLEARING - DAY

Footprints. A dog's nose follows the tracks. This is GAMMA,
a bulldog.

GAMMA
Oh, here it is. I picked up the
bird's scent!

A second dog: BETA, a Rottweiler.

BETA
Wait a minute, wait a minute! What
is this? Chocolate. I smell
chocolate.

GAMMA
I'm getting prunes and denture
cream! Who are they?

BETA
Ah man, Master will not be pleased.
We'd better tell him someone took
the bird, right Alpha?
ALPHA, a Doberman pinscher, sits with his back to them.

ALPHA
(high-pitched voice)
No. Soon enough the bird will be
ours yet again.

49.

Alpha's voice is high and squeaky, as if he's breathed in
helium.

ALPHA (CONT'D)
Find the scent, my compadres and
you two shall have much rewardings
from Master for the toil factor you
wage.

Beta and Gamma look at each other.

BETA
Hey Alpha, I think there's
something wrong with your collar.
You must have bumped it.

GAMMA
Yeah, your voice sounds funny!
Beta and Gamma LAUGH. Alpha turns. They stop laughing.

ALPHA
Beta. Gamma. Mayhaps you desire
to -- SQUIRREL!

All three dogs look for the squirrel. False alarm.

ALPHA (CONT'D)
Mayhaps you desire to challenge the
ranking that I have been assigned
by my strength and cunning?

BETA
No no. But maybe Dug would. You
might want to ask him.

Beta and Gamma SNICKER derisively.

GAMMA
Yeah, I wonder if he's found the
bird on his very special mission.

ALPHA
Do not mention Dug to me at this
time. His fool's errand will keep
him most occupied, most occupied
indeed. Ha ha ha. Do you not
agree with that which I am saying
to you now?

BETA
Sure, but the second Master finds
out you sent Dug out by himself,
none of us will get a treat.

50.

ALPHA
You are wise, my trusted
Lieutenant.

Alpha powers up a video screen on Beta's collar.

ALPHA (CONT'D)
This is Alpha calling Dug. Come
in, Dug.

The screen shows ground moving past: the view from Dug's
collar.

DUG
Hi Alpha. Hey, your voice sounds
funny.

ALPHA
I know, I know! Have you seen the
bird?

DUG
Why yes, the bird is my prisoner
now.

GAMMA
Yeah, right.

The screen view adjusts to see the bird. It hisses.

ALPHA
Impossible! Where are you?!

DUG
I am here with the bird and I will
bring it back and then you will
like me. Oh, gotta go.
On the collar screen, the dogs get a fleeting glimpse of a
boy's face. It's Russell.

RUSSELL
(on video screen)
Hey Dug! Who you talking to?

The video screen goes blank. The dogs BARK excitedly.

BETA
What's Dug doing?

GAMMA
Why's he with that small mailman?

51.

BETA
Where are they?

Alpha pushes a button on Beta's collar. A TRACKING DEVICE
locates Dug.

ALPHA
There he is. Come on!

The dogs sprint off into the jungle.

EXT. MOUNTAIN, JUNGLE - DAY

The bird drags Dug, still clamped onto it's leg.

DUG
Oh please oh please oh PLEASE be my
prisoner!

RUSSELL
Dug, stop bothering Kevin!

DUG
That man there says I can take the
bird and I love that man there like
he is my master.

The bird HISSES.

CARL
I am not your master!

The bird tries to shake Dug off its leg. Dug jumps up on it.

DUG
I am warning you, once again, bird!

RUSSELL
Hey! Quit it!

DUG
I am jumping on you now, bird.

Russell tries to separate them, which pulls on Carl's tether.

CARL
Russell! At this rate we'll never
get to the falls!

Carl pulls on the tether, knocking Russell over. Carl falls,
pulling the house into a tall rock. SMASH!
Carl GASPS. He turns his anger to the group.

52.

CARL
I am nobody's master, got it?
(points to bird)
I don't want you here,
(points to Dug)
...and I don't want you here.
(points to Russell)
I'm stuck with you. And if you two
don't clear out of here by the time
I count to three-
Dug sees the tennis balls on Carl's cane.

DUG
A ball! Oh boy oh boy! A ball!

CARL
Ball?
Carl pops off one of the tennis balls.

CARL
You want it boy? Huh? Huh? Yeah?

DUG
Oh oh oh! Yes, I do. I do ever so
want the ball!

CARL
Go get it!!
Carl throws the ball far away. Dug chases after it.

DUG
Oh boy, oh boy! I will get it and
then bring it back!

CARL

(WHISPERS)
Quick Russell, give me some chocolate.

RUSSELL
Why?

CARL
Just give it to me!
Carl grabs some chocolate and waves it at the bird.

CARL
Bird. Bird!
Carl THROWS the chocolate. The bird runs after it.

53.

Carl grabs Russell and runs.

CARL
C'mon Russell!

RUSSELL
Wait. Wait, Mr. Fredricksen.

EXT. MOUNTAIN HILLSIDE

Carl pulls them down a slope. He slips.

EXT. MOUNTAIN TREETOPS

Above the tree line, the house SMASHES into a tree.

CARL
Daah!

EXT. MOUNTAIN STREAM

Carl and Russell crossing the river balance on rocks. Carl
slips and his foot goes into the water.

CARL
Aaahh...

EXT. MOUNTAIN JUNGLE

RUSSELL
What are we doing?

Carl pushes through thick jungle leaves. BUGS buzz around him.

EXT. MOUNTAIN STEEP HILLSIDE

Carl climbs up the hill. He FALLS over a dead branch.

RUSSELL
Hey, uh, we're pretty far now.
Kevin's gonna miss me.

EXT. MOUNTAIN, JUNGLE CLEARING - CONTINUOUS

They climb over a ridge. Dug and the bird are nowhere in sight.
Carl sits down on a rock, BREATHING HARD.

54.

CARL
I think that did the trick.

He turns. Dug. With the ball in his mouth.

DUG
Hi, Master.

CARL
Afternoon.
Carl turns the other way. The bird. It HONKS at him.

Dug drops the slobbery ball on Carl's lap.

EXT. MOUNTAIN, FLAT ROCKY AREA - NIGHT

A clap of thunder. Lightning flashes reveal rain pouring
down on the house. Beneath it, Carl and Russell are kept
dry, sitting around a pathetic flickering campfire.

Carl looks at Dug, asleep, wrapped around the bird's leg. He
rolls his eyes and looks up at the house.

CARL
Well, thanks for keeping us dry
anyway, Ellie.

RUSSELL (O.S.)
Which one's the front?

Russell struggles to set up the tent. He reads his manual.

RUSSELL
Is this step three, or step five?
Carl ROLLS HIS EYES at Russell's ineptness.

RUSSELL
There!
Russell struggles with a tent pole, trying to winch it into
place.

Carl can't watch.
An off screen SMACK! Russell walks to Carl. Miraculously,
he looks unscathed.

RUSSELL
All done.
Russell turns, revealing a large RED WELT on his face.

55.

RUSSELL
(pointing to tent)
That's for you!

The tent pole springs loose, catapulting the tent over the
cliff.

RUSSELL
Awh. Tents are hard.

CARL
Wait, aren't you "Super Wilderness
Guy?" With the GPM's and the badges?

RUSSELL
Yeah, but... can I tell you a
secret?

CARL
No.

RUSSELL
Alright, here goes. I never
actually built a tent before.
There. I said it.

CARL
You've been camping before, haven't
you?

RUSSELL
Well, never outside.

CARL
Well, why didn't you ask your Dad
how to build a tent?

RUSSELL
I don't think he wants to talk
about this stuff.

CARL
Why don't you try him sometime?
Maybe he'll surprise you.

RUSSELL
Well, he's away a lot. I don't see
him much.

CARL
He's got to be home sometime.

56.

RUSSELL
Well, I called, but Phyllis told me
I bug him too much.

CARL
Phyllis? You call your own mother
by her first name?

RUSSELL
Phyllis isn't my mom.
Carl realizes he put his foot in it.

CARL
Oh.

The two sit silently together, watching the fire.

RUSSELL
But he promised he'd come to my
Explorer ceremony to pin on my
Assisting the Elderly badge, so he
can show me about tents then,
right?

Carl studies Russell's sad optimism. He looks at the missing
badge on Russell's sash.

CARL
Hey, uh, why don't you get some
sleep. Don't want to wake up the
traveling flea circus.

Dug nuzzles around the sleeping bird's leg.

RUSSELL
Mr. Fredricksen, Dug says he wants
to take Kevin prisoner. We have to
protect him!

Russell YAWNS and lies down on the rock next to Carl.

RUSSELL
Can Kevin go with us?

CARL
Alright. He can come.

RUSSELL
Promise you won't leave him?

CARL
Yeah.

57.

RUSSELL
Cross your heart?

Carl looks down at Russell.

CARL
Cross my heart.

Carl sits at the campfire, the others asleep. He shakes his
head and looks up at the house.

CARL
What have I got myself into, Ellie?

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. MOUNTAIN, FLAT ROCKY AREA - MORNING

A frog sits next to Carl's glasses. It CROAKS. Carl's hand
smacks it like an alarm clock. The frog hops away.

Carl rises, looking up at the house.

CARL
Morning Sweetheart.

The balloons on the house are wilting.

CARL
We better get moving.

He scans the camp. The bird is gone.

CARL
Huh. Bird's gone. Maybe Russell
won't notice.
(calls out)
Alright, everybody up!

Russell sits up with a SNORT.

RUSSELL
Where's Kevin? He's wandered off!
Kevin! Dug, find Kevin!

Dug crazily searches and sniffs, looking for the bird.

DUG
Find the bird. Find the bird...

POINT!
Dug goes rigid like a pointer dog and "points" to the left.

58.

RUSSELL
Oh, look! There he is.

Russell points to the right. The bird is on top of Carl's
house.
Dug turns around.

DUG

POINT!
The bird has gathered a pile of food on Carl's roof.

CARL
Hey, that's my food! Get off my
roof!

DUG
Yeah, get off of his <>!

In the distance, BABY BIRDS call out. The bird CALLS back.

CARL
What is it doing?

DUG
The bird is calling to her babies.

RUSSELL
Her babies! Kevin's a girl?
The bird gobbles the food and jumps off the roof.

DUG
Her house is over there in those
twisty rocks.
Miles off is a huge grouping of rocks; the LABYRINTH. The
baby birds call from somewhere inside.

DUG
She has been gathering food for her
babies and must get back to them.

The bird "hugs" Russell goodbye and pats Carl on the head
with her beak. She HISSES at Dug.

RUSSELL
Wait, Kevin's just leaving? But
you promised to protect her!

RUSSELL
Her babies need her, we gotta make
sure they're together.

59.

The bird hurries off toward the labyrinth. Carl gathers up
the hose tether.

CARL
Sorry Russell. We've lost enough
time already.

RUSSELL
Yeah...

EXT. MOUNTAIN, EDGE OF JUNGLE - MOMENTS LATER

The bird rounds a corner and hears rustling in the bushes
ahead. She scampers back toward the house.

EXT. MOUNTAIN, FLAT ROCKY AREA

Russell chews on some chocolate.

RUSSELL
This was her favorite chocolate.
Because you sent her away, there's
more for you.
Carl rolls his eyes and SIGHS.

They hear rustling from the bushes behind them.

CARL
Huh?

RUSSELL
Kevin?

Beta and Gamma, run toward Carl and Russell, viciously
barking and growling. Carl protects Russell with his cane.

Dug is conflicted.

Alpha walks forward and stares menacingly at Carl.
He turns toward Dug.

ALPHA
(high-pitched voice)
Where's the bird? You said you had
the bird.

DUG
Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Since I have
said that, I can see how you would
think that.

60.

ALPHA
Where is it?

DUG
Uh, tomorrow. Come back tomorrow
and then I will again have the
bird. Yes.

Alpha BARKS angrily.

ALPHA
You lost it. Why do I not have a
surprised feeling? Well, at least
you now have lead us to the small
mailman and The One Who Smells of
Prunes.

Carl and Russell look at Dug. He turned on them! Dug
shamefully lowers his head.

ALPHA
Master will be most pleased we have
found them, and will ask of them
many questions.
(commanding, to Carl)
Come!

CARL
Wait, we're not going with you.
We're going to the falls!
Gamma and Beta BARK fiercely at Carl.

CARL
Get away from me! Get down!

The dogs lead Carl and Russell like prisoners. Dug follows.
The house is pulled after them, and on the roof: THE BIRD.

EXT. MOUNTAIN, DESOLATE ROCKY AREA - DAY

Alpha leads Carl and Russell through a canyon.

Dogs patrol the tops of the canyon walls.
Four more large dogs join the group. Carl and Russell watch
warily and continue their march.

They round a bend. Before them is a MASSIVE CAVE OPENING.

61.

EXT. MOUNTAIN, CAVE ENTRANCE

The house and balloon canopy are dwarfed as the group
approaches the huge cave opening.

DOZENS OF DOGS step out of the cave. Carl and Russell stop.
More dogs approach from the side. Every way Carl turns there
are more dogs!

Growling and snarling, the dogs surround Carl and Russell.
Closer... closer...

From the darkness a voice:

VOICE (O.S.)
Stay!

The dogs stop. A figure peers out from the darkness. It
examines Carl, Russell, and the floating house.

VOICE
You came here in that?

CARL
Uh... yeah.

VOICE
In a house? A floating house?
The man laughs. Carl and Russell laugh along nervously.

VOICE
That is the darndest thing I've
ever seen! You're not after my
bird, are you? But if you need to
borrow a cup of sugar, I'd be happy
to oblige!
The dogs LAUGH uproariously at the man's joke.

VOICE
Well, this is all a misunderstanding.
My dogs made a mistake.

The figure walks out toward Carl into the light. Carl
recognizes him!

CARL
Wait, are you Charles Muntz?!

MUNTZ
Well... Yes.

62.

CARL
The Charles Muntz?

Muntz gives him the "thumbs up."

MUNTZ
"Adventure is out there!"

Carl GIGGLES with glee.

CARL
It's really him!
(to Russell)
That's Charles Muntz!

RUSSELL

(EXCITED)
It is?!?

(CONSIDERS)
Who's Charles Muntz?

CARL
Him!

DOG WALLA
Yes! It is him! He is!

CARL
I'm Carl Fredricksen. My wife and
I, we were your biggest fans!

Carl rushes to shake Muntz's hand. Muntz is charmed.

MUNTZ
Well, you're a man of good taste!

Muntz LAUGHS at his joke. Carl joins in.

MUNTZ
You must be tired. Hungry?

RUSSELL
Uh-huh.

MUNTZ
(to dogs)
Attention everyone! These people
are no longer intruders. They are
our guests.

The dogs CHEER.

63.

DOG WALLA
Follow me! I like you temporarily.
You do smell like prunes. I will
not bite you.

Muntz walks into the cave. Carl and Russell excitedly follow.

INT. CAVE - CONTINUOUS

CARL
Wow.

Carl's eyes adjust to the dark. Muntz's dirigible the
"Spirit of Adventure" is tethered in the cave.

MUNTZ (O.S.)
I'm sorry about the dogs -- hope
they weren't too rough on you.

GAMMA (O.S.)
We weren't!

MUNTZ
Go ahead and moor your airship
right next to mine.

Muntz gestures to a pylon, where Carl ties off the house.
Muntz and the dogs walk up the gangplank of the dirigible.

CARL
We're not actually going inside the
"Spirit of Adventure" itself?!

MUNTZ
Oh. Would you like to?

CARL
Would I?!?!

Carl GIGGLES like a little boy.

CARL
Wait up, Mr. Muntz!

Carl and Russell follow up the ramp.

CARL
Jiminy Cricket.

Dug follows, but is blocked by Alpha and Beta.

BETA
Not you.

64.

GAMMA
What do we do with Dug?

ALPHA
He has lost the bird. Put him in
the Cone of Shame.

Dug WHIMPERS.

EXT. DIRIGIBLE GANGPLANK - MOMENTS LATER

Alpha, Gamma and Beta walk into the dirigible. Dug sits
forlornly with a PLASTIC CONE around his neck.

DUG
I do not like the Cone of Shame.

INT. DIRIGIBLE - TROPHY ROOM

Carl and Russell are speechless as they walk into the room.
It's a treasure trove of giant skeletons, stuffed creatures,
and rare cultural artifacts.

Various servant dogs dust and polish as Muntz leads Carl and
Russell through the room.

MUNTZ
Most of the collection is housed in
the world's top museums: New York,
Munich, London... `Course I kept
the best for myself.

CARL
Did you ever! Will you look at that?

MUNTZ
Oh yes, the Arsinoitherium. Beast
charged while I was brushing my
teeth. Used my shaving kit to
bring him down.
A dog approaches carrying a menu. Muntz waves it off.

MUNTZ
Oh, surprise me.
(to Carl)
Only way to get it out of Ethiopia
at the time was to have it declared
as "dental equipment!"
Muntz LAUGHS. Behind him, a dog can't resist gnawing at one
of the bones.

65.

CARL
Oh my gosh, the Giant Somalian
Leopard Tortoise!

MUNTZ
Oh, you recognize it? I'm
impressed! That's an interesting
story there...

A dog approaches with a bottle of champagne in his mouth.
Muntz glances at the bottle.

MUNTZ
Hm, excellent choice.
(to Carl)
I found it on safari with
Roosevelt.
Two dogs work together to remove the cork from the bottle.
POP! They sloppily pour two glasses.

MUNTZ
He and I fell into a habit of
playing gin rummy in the evenings.
And did he cheat? Oh, he was
horrible!

Muntz and Carl LAUGH. Alpha interrupts.

ALPHA
(high-pitched voice)
Master, dinner is ready.

MUNTZ
Oh dear, broken translator. It's
that loose wire again.
(leans down, fixes it)
There you go big fella.

ALPHA
(deep scary voice)
Thank you Master.
Russell reacts.

RUSSELL
I liked his other voice.
Muntz LAUGHS.

MUNTZ
Well, dinner is served! Right this
way.

66.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, DINING ROOM

Muntz leads Carl and Russell into the dining room and up to a
large table.

MUNTZ
So how are things stateside?
Almost tempted to go back a few
times, but I have unfinished work
here... Please.
Dogs pull back chairs for them. They sit. Dog waiters place
napkins on their laps.

MUNTZ
I hope you're hungry because
Epsilon is the finest chef I've
ever had.
Dogs bring out covered plates, look at each other, and remove
the silver plate covers at the same time. The meals look
delicious.

MUNTZ
Oh, Epsilon, you've done it again!

RUSSELL
Yes!!
Russell is served a hot dog. His waiter can't resist and
eats a bite.

RUSSELL
Hey!

Another dog pours some juice then takes a big slurp from his
glass.

RUSSELL
Hey!

Carl looks around, still enthralled.

CARL
Oh my Ellie would have loved all
this. You know, it's because of
you she had this dream to come down
here and live by Paradise Falls.

He gestures toward HIS HOUSE, tethered outside the porthole
window.

67.

MUNTZ
I'm honored. And now you've made
it!

CARL
You're sure we're not a bother?
I'd hate to impose.

MUNTZ
No no! It's a pleasure to have
guests -- a real treat.

The dogs erupt into excited barking.

DOG WALLA
Treat?! Treat! I want a treat!

MUNTZ
No no, quiet! Calm down. Calm
down...
In the excitement a dog swipes the rest of Russell's hot dog.

RUSSELL
Hey!

MUNTZ

(CONT'D)
Shouldn't've used that word...
Having guests is a delight. More
often I get thieves, come to steal
what's rightfully mine.

CARL
No!

Muntz picks up a lantern and walks to the back of the room.

MUNTZ
They called me a fraud, those...
dah! But once I bring back this
creature, my name will be cleared.
The lantern illuminates photographs, drawings, samples,
feathers. Hundreds of them... all of THE BIRD. Kevin.

This is Muntz's obsession. He looks over to a full size
skeleton.

MUNTZ
Beautiful, isn't it? I've spent a
lifetime tracking it. Sometimes
years go by between sightings...

(MORE)

68.
MUNTZ (cont'd)
I've tried to smoke it out of that
deathly labyrinth where it lives...
Can't go in after it. Once in,
there's no way out. Lost so many
dogs...
Muntz is lost in reverie.

MUNTZ
And here they come, these bandits,
and think the bird is theirs to
take! But they soon find that this
mountain is a very dangerous
place.

Distracted Russell finally notices the skeleton.

RUSSELL
Hey, that looks like Kevin!

MUNTZ
"Kevin?"

RUSSELL
Yeah! That's my new giant bird
pet. I trained it to follow us.

Muntz and Alpha exchange glances.

MUNTZ
Follow you? Impossible. How?

RUSSELL
She likes chocolate.

Russell holds up a chocolate bar to show Muntz.

MUNTZ
Chocolate?

RUSSELL
Yeah, I gave her some of my
chocolate. She goes ga-ga for it.

Carl swipes the chocolate from Russell and pockets it.

CARL
But it ran off! It's gone now.

Muntz stares.

He walks to a table full of flight helmets.

69.

MUNTZ
You know, Carl. These people who
pass through here, they all tell
pretty good stories. A "Surveyor"
making a map.
Using his cane, Muntz topples a helmet from the table. It
rolls across the floor.

MUNTZ
A "Botanist" cataloguing plants.

Muntz topples another helmet.
He lifts a third to show Carl.

MUNTZ
An old man taking his house to
Paradise Falls.

He drops the helmet. It rolls to Carl's feet.

MUNTZ
That's the best one yet. I can't
wait to hear how it ends.
Carl glances around nervously.

Out the window, sitting on the roof of his house, sits THE

BIRD!

CARL
Well! It's been a wonderful
evening, but we'd better be going.

Carl gets up and pulls Russell from the table.

MUNTZ
Oh, you're not leaving?

CARL
We don't want to take advantage of
your hospitality. Come on Russell.

Carl leads Russell toward the door.

RUSSELL
But we haven't even had dessert
yet.

Muntz follows behind them slowly, menacingly.

70.

MUNTZ
No, the boy's right. You haven't
had dessert. Epsilon here makes a
delicious Cherries Jubilee.

Carl pulls Russell along, Muntz following behind like
something out of a bad dream.

MUNTZ
Oh, you really must stay. I
insist! We have so much more to
talk about!

A distant HAUNTED WAIL. Everyone stops.

RUSSELL
Kevin?
Muntz walks to the window and looks out. Atop the roof he
sees THE BIRD.

MUNTZ
It's here.
He turns back to Carl... but they're gone.

MUNTZ
(to dogs)
Get them!

INT. CAVE

Carl and Russell untie Carl's house from the pylon.

CARL
Hurry!

RUSSELL
I am hurrying!

Dogs descend down the ramp behind them.

RUSSELL
They're coming!

Carl and Russell run toward the cave opening.
Dogs block the cave opening. Carl stops short.

DUG (O.S.)
Master, over here!

71.

Dug points to a tunnel opening deeper inside the cave. Carl
and Russell run toward him.

The cave leads to a steep incline. The dogs are getting
closer.
There's no choice but to JUMP.

The lift from the overhead balloons allows Carl and Russell
to leap down the incline, like astronauts.

DUG
Go toward the light, master!
Dogs climb down the rocks, closing in on Carl and Russell.

The bird sees the dogs. She jumps off the house and lifts
Carl and Russell on her back.
She runs through the cave, towing the house behind her.
Russell and Carl HANG ON for dear life.

BANG BANG BANG! Balloons pop as they scrape across the
ceiling. The house lowers.

Ahead, a giant rock sits in their path. Carl tugs at the
house but it CRASHES against the rock, pulling Russell onto
the ground.

CARL
Russell!

Dragging on the ground, Russell gets BUMPED around badly.

EXT. MOUNTAIN, CANYON - CONTINUOUS

The dogs close in on Russell. Alpha bites at his heels.
Carl fends off Alpha with his cane.

CARL
Get back!!
Alpha is about to bite when an avalanche of boulders rains
down! The dogs stop short.

Carl looks back as the bird keeps running. Dug is up on the
canyon wall. He caused the avalanche!

DUG
Go on Master! I will stop the
dogs!
Dug jumps down to block the path of the approaching dogs.

72.

DUG
Stop you dogs!!

The dogs run around Dug.

Alpha bites Dug by the neck and throws him out of the path.

The bird carries Carl, Russell dragging along behind. She
rounds a corner. Russell SWINGS OUT over the abyss.

The bird jumps from rock spire to spire. Russell swings back
and forth wildly in the air.

RUSSELL
Help! Help!

Russell does the WILDERNESS EXPLORER CALL.

CARL
Gimme your hand!
Carl holds out his cane so that Russell can GRAB it and Carl
PULLS him back onto the bird.
Meanwhile Dug manages to rejoin his friends, but just in time
to reach the end of the line -- A CLIFF EDGE. A river winds
100 feet below.

Carl looks above to see the house's momentum pulling forward.

RUSSELL
Hang on to Kevin!

Carl grabs onto Kevin and picks Dug up by the collar.

Just as the dogs reach our gang, the house's momentum carries
them across the chasm. Alpha bites the bird on the leg but
is kicked loose and falls into the river below.

Carl LANDS HARD but safely across the river chasm. The dogs
are stuck on the other side.
Carl painfully gets up. He looks up at his house. It's
still intact.

He breathes a SIGH OF RELIEF.

RUSSELL (O.S.)
Kevin!

The bird tries to stand but SQUAWKS pitifully and falls back
to the ground. Russell rushes to her side.

73.

The bird's leg has been injured badly by the dog bite. She
can't stand.

Russell applies a bandage.

From the distant labyrinth of rocks, the BIRD BABIES call.
Kevin CALLS back to them. She tries to stand, but can't.

Russell runs to her side.

RUSSELL
No no no! Kevin! Stay down.
(to Carl)
She's hurt real bad. Can't we help
her get home?

Carl looks at the bird's wounds. He looks to the rock maze,
then to his house.
He knows the right thing to do. And he hates himself for it.

CARL
Alright. But we've got to hurry.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, COCKPIT

Dripping wet dogs cower in front of a menacing Muntz.

MUNTZ
You lost them?

BETA
Uh, it was Dug.

GAMMA
Yeah, he's with them. He helped
them escape!

Muntz snarls in anger.

MUNTZ
Wait. Wait a minute. Dug...

He leans over a RADAR TRACKING DEVICE.

CUT TO:

EXT. MOUNTAIN - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS

DUG'S COLLAR SCREEN powers on, and a signal zeroes in on
Dug's location.

74.

Dug, oblivious, looks out over the landscape, sniffing.

Carl and Russell peek out from behind a tree.

CARL
See anything?

DUG
No, my pack is not following us!
Boy they are dumb.
Dug scampers back to Carl and Russell, who pull the house
from behind a tree canopy.

CARL
This is crazy. I finally meet my
childhood hero and he's trying to
kill us! What a joke.

DUG
Hey, I know a joke. A squirrel
walks up to a tree and says I
forgot to store acorns for winter
and now I am dead. Ha! It is funny
because the squirrel gets dead.
They pull the house, keeping it hidden behind the trees.

CARL
Careful Russell.
The house bumps into a tree, jostling the injured BIRD on the
porch.

RUSSELL
You okay, Kevin?
Kevin goes back to sleep. Russell looks at her BANDAGED LEG.

RUSSELL
You know what, Mr. Fredricksen?
The wilderness isn't quite what I
expected.

CARL
Yeah? How so?

RUSSELL
It's kinda... wild. I mean, it's
not how they made it sound in my
book.

CARL
Hmm, get used to that, kid.

75.

RUSSELL
My dad made it sound so easy. He's
really good at camping, and how to
make fire from rocks and stuff. He
used to come to all my Sweatlodge
meetings.

Russell smiles at the thought.

RUSSELL
And afterwards we'd go get ice
cream at Fentons. I always get
chocolate and he gets butter-
brickle. Then we'd sit on this one
curb, right outside, and I'll count
all the blue cars and he counts all
the red ones, and whoever gets the
most, wins. I like that curb.
He looks up at Carl.

RUSSELL
That might sound boring, but I
think the boring stuff is the stuff
I remember the most.
They walk in silence. Carl understands.

The bird babies CALL OUT in the distance. Kevin CALLS BACK.

RUSSELL
Look, there it is!

Russell spots the labyrinth, now close by. He tries to run
but is pulled back by his tether.

LAUGHING, Carl unclips Russell's tether.

CARL
Hold on Russell, stand still!

Carl ties the hose harnesses to a tree, securing the house.
Russell helps Kevin off the porch and the group run toward
the labyrinth entrance.

Kevin is reenergized by the sound of her babies. She runs
off ahead. Carl and Russell LAUGH.

CARL
Look at that bird go!

CARL
Wait up, you overgrown chicken!

76.

RUSSELL
That's it, go Kevin! Go find your
babies!

Just as they approach the entrance to the labyrinth, a fierce
spotlight hits them. MUNTZ'S DIRIGIBLE lowers overhead.

RUSSELL
Run Kevin! Run!

A net shoots out and binds her. She falls and CALLS OUT.

RUSSELL
Oh no!

The net catches on a rock. Carl and Russell run to her aid.

CARL
Russell, give me your knife!

Carl saws frantically at the net.

MUNTZ (O.S.)
Get away from my bird!

Muntz and his dogs descend from the dirigible. Beside them,
a group of dogs drag forward CARL'S HOUSE.

Muntz hurls a lit lantern. Flames burst up beneath the house.

Heat waves ripple up. Balloons POP. Carl's house LOWERS
into the fire.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Inside the living room, Ellie's photo crashes to the floor.

EXT. MOUNTAIN, LABYRINTH GATE - CONTINUOUS

CARL
No!

Carl panics. He rushes toward the house, dropping the knife.

Muntz motions to the dogs. They swarm past Russell, knocking
him down and grabbing the bird in the net.

RUSSELL
No!
Carl pulls his house away from the flames.

77.

The bird CALLS OUT plaintively as the dogs drag her into the
dirigible.

Muntz follows the bird up the ramp of the dirigible.

MUNTZ
Careful. We want her in good shape
for my return.

RUSSELL
Let her go! Stop!

Russell runs after the dogs, but the gangplank closes.
The dirigible flies off.

RUSSELL
Kevin!
Carl beats out the flames with his jacket. He extinguishes
the flames.

Carl collapses on the side of his house.

RUSSELL
You gave away Kevin. You just gave
her away.

CARL
This is none of my concern. I
didn't ask for any of this!

DUG
Master. It's alright.

CARL
I am not your master! And if you
hadn't a shown up, none of this
would have happened! Bad dog! Bad
dog!

Dug slinks off, tail between his legs.
Carl angrily puts on the harness.

CARL
Now, whether you assist me or not,
I am going to Paradise Falls if it
kills me.

He walks off. Russell falls in behind.
An angry dawn breaks.

78.

EXT. MOUNTAIN, ROCKY TERRAIN - DAY

Now barely aloft, Carl pulls the house across the rocky
landscape.

Russell's harness drags along side, empty.

Russell walks behind.

EXT. MOUNTAIN HILLSIDE - MORNING

With the last of his energy, Carl drags the house into place.
The house groans as it comes to rest.

Carl drops the hose harness and walks to the edge of a cliff.

EXT. PARADISE FALLS - MORNING

He looks over. He's finally made it: Paradise Falls.
Torrents of water careen over the massive cliff edge.

Carl takes out Ellie's childhood drawing. Next to him stands
the real house, just like Ellie wanted.

RUSSELL (O.S.)
Here.
Behind him, Russell throws his sash on the ground.

RUSSELL
I don't want this anymore.
Russell walks away. He sits on a rock, alone.

Carl picks up the sash. He walks up the steps of his house.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

The door opens. Carl steps in. He's back in his house for
the first time in days.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Carl and Ellie's things are strewn across the floor, a mess
from the rough journey.

Carl rights Ellie's chair, sets the lamp upright, slides the
table into position.
He pushes their two chairs back into their place.

79.

Carl closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and sits.

Quiet.

Nothing, save the distant sound of the falls outside.
Carl surveys the room.

The ADVENTURE BOOK rests on a table near him. He opens it
and puts Ellie's drawing back.
He looks through the pages, remembering the newspaper
clippings and old photographs, the dreams of young Ellie.
He turns to the page marked: STUFF I'M GOING TO DO.

Carl sighs. He managed to bring the house to the falls, but
Ellie never made it.
He closes the book. But as he does, Carl sees something he
hadn't before.

The blank pages at the end are no longer blank.
A WEDDING PHOTO of the two of them.
On a picnic. Celebrating birthdays. Another and another...
photos of their ordinary life together, the ups and downs.
Carl's face warms. Ellie lived the life she wanted: she saw
adventure in everyday life.

A photo of the two of them sitting side by side, together, in
their chairs. Beneath it, Ellie has written:

"THANKS FOR THE ADVENTURE -- NOW GO HAVE A NEW ONE!

LOVE, ELLIE."
Carl smiles.

He looks over to Ellie's empty chair. On the arm is
Russell's sash. Carl picks it up.
He looks to Ellie's chair.

He crosses his heart.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Carl walks from the house and calls from the porch.

CARL
Russell?

80.

But Russell is nowhere to be seen.

A shadow crosses Carl. He looks up to see Russell floating
off, hanging from a BUNCH OF BALLOONS.

CARL
Russell!

RUSSELL
I'm gonna help Kevin even if you
won't!

Russell fires up a LEAF BLOWER and steers himself off into
the sky.

CARL
No, Russell! No!
Carl runs back to his house and tries in desperation to lift
it. He struggles, but the house doesn't budge. The balloons
have lost too much helium.

Furious, he THROWS a chair off his porch. It lands atop the
mountain rocks with a thud.

This gives him an idea.

CUT TO:
The GRAMOPHONE smashes onto the rocky ground. Chairs,
dressers, tables; Carl throws them all out of the house.

Slowly, one corner of the house lifts. Then another.
Carl struggles to push a refrigerator from the porch. It
teeters... and falls. The house lifts off!

CARL
Wahhoo!

The house floats off into the sky, leaving a huge pile of
things. Beside it sits Carl and Ellie's chairs, side by side
atop Paradise Falls.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE, FLOATING

The house soars into the air, sails billowing.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM

Inside the house, Carl adjusts his steering, scans the skies.

81.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. Carl's eyes go wide.

CARL
Russell?

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, PORCH - CONTINUOUS

The door swings open.

CARL
Dug!

DUG
I was hiding under your porch
because I love you. Can I stay?

CARL
Can you stay? Well, you're my dog
aren't you? And I'm your master!

DUG
You are my master?!
Dug lunges forward and overwhelms Carl with dog kisses.

DUG
Oh boy. Oh boy!

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE, FLOATING - CONTINUOUS

The house flies off into the sky.

CARL (O.S.)
Good boy, Dug. You're a good boy!

EXT. OPEN SKY - DAY

Russell steers through the clouds toward the DIRIGIBLE.

INT. DIRIGIBLE - CONTINUOUS

Dogs play poker. Behind them, Russell flies past with the
leaf blower. They turn to look.

EXT. DIRIGIBLE

Russell steers wobbly toward an open dirigible window. He
smashes into the wall.

82.

RUSSELL
Ooph!

He tries again and TUMBLES through the window.

INT. DIRIGIBLE - CONTINUOUS

Russell releases the balloons and picks up the leaf blower,
ready for action.

RUSSELL
Yes! Don't worry Kevin! I'll save -
Growling dogs move toward him.

Russell blows the leaf blower at the dogs.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, CAGE ROOM

Muntz stares into the bird's cage, mesmerized. She's
miserable and scared.

MUNTZ
And they wouldn't believe me. Just
wait till they get a look at you.

Alpha enters.

ALPHA
Master! The small mailman has
returned.

MUNTZ
What?

INT. DIRIGIBLE

Dogs tie Russell to a chair.

RUSSELL
Let me go!

Muntz enters.

MUNTZ
Where's your elderly friend?

Russell blows the leaf blower in Muntz's face.

RUSSELL
He's not my friend anymore.

83.

Muntz grabs the leaf blower and drags Russell out.

MUNTZ
Well, if you're here, Fredricksen
can't be far behind.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, TROPHY ROOM

Muntz drags Russell through the trophy room.

RUSSELL
Where are you keeping Kevin!?

INT. DIRIGIBLE, RAMP ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Muntz sets Russell down and walks to a control panel.

RUSSELL
Let me go!

BETA
Scream all you want, small mailman.

GAMMA
None of your mailman friends can
hear you.

RUSSELL
I'll unleash all my Wilderness
Explorer training!

Muntz is about to throw a switch when he looks out the
porthole. Flying toward him is CARL'S HOUSE!

MUNTZ
Alpha! Fredricksen's coming back.
Guard that bird. If you see the
old man, you know what to do.

Muntz pulls the switch and walks out of the room.

RUSSELL
Hey, where are you going? I'm not
finished with you!

MUNTZ
Nice talking with you.

Muntz slams the door.
Light emerges from the floor. Russell is on the ramp, which
is opening. Russell REACTS.

84.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, COCKPIT

Muntz enters the cockpit and takes the wheel.

MUNTZ
Where are you, Fredricksen?

EXT. DIRIGIBLE

The dirigible turns, revealing Carl's house sneaking up
behind.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM

Carl steers toward the cockpit. He dons Russell's sash, then
hooks his cane onto his back. He's fighting for a cause.
He hears SCREAMING. It's Russell! Tied to his chair, he
slides down the ramp as it lowers, closer and closer to the
edge.

CARL
Russell!
Carl steers his house to the dirigible.

EXT. DIRIGIBLE, RAMP - CONTINUOUS

Carl flings the hose, HOOKING it to the ramp railing. Using
his cane as a zip line, Carl slides to Russell, catching him
just as Russell slides off the ramp edge. They land safely
together.

RUSSELL
Mr. Fredricksen!

CARL
Dug! Bring `er over!
Dug winches in the hose caddy, pulling the house closer to
the dirigible ramp.

Carl carries Russell into the house.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Carl sets Russell, still bound, down in the front hall.

85.

RUSSELL
You came back for Kevin! Let's go
get her.

CARL
I'm getting Kevin. You stay here!

RUSSELL
But I want to help!

CARL
I don't want your help. I want you
safe!
Carl leaps back into the dirigible. Dug follows.

Russell STRUGGLES against his bonds.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, HALLWAY

Carl and Dug sneak down a hall. They see dogs ahead and hide.

CARL
How do we get past these dogs?

DUG
Uh... POINT!
Dug points to a grate in the wall.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, GAS CELL AREA

Dug leads Carl "backstage" through a vent shaft into the
dirigible. They sneak past two biplanes.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, CAGE ROOM

They emerge through a grate near the ceiling. They look down
into the room where the bird is kept in a cage.

CARL
Kevin!

The bird recognizes Carl and CRIES OUT.

CARL
Don't worry Kevin, we're on our
way!
Alpha enters, leading a group of dogs. Carl and Dug duck
into the shadows and watch unnoticed from above.

86.

ALPHA
Allow no one to be entering through
these doors. Guard well that bird,
my minions.

CARL

(WHISPERS)
What do we do now, Dug?

Dug is lost in ecstacy, chomping on a tennis ball on the end
of Carl's cane.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, CAGE ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Carl drops down from the ceiling and stands on the cage. He
bangs his cane. All the dogs turn.
He grabs a ball from his cane and waves it in the air.

CARL
Who wants the ball?

DOGS
Me! I do! I want the ball!

CARL
Then go get it!
Carl throws the ball. The dogs scramble after it.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, HALLWAY OUTSIDE OF CAGE ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The dogs pile into the hallway in pursuit.

DOGS
I'm gonna get there first! Oh gonna
get the ball! I'm gonna get it!

Gamma catches it..

GAMMA
I got it!!

Behind them Carl shuts the door. The dogs realize their
mistake.

GAMMA
Uh-oh.

87.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, CAGE ROOM

Carl opens the cage door.

CARL
I'm sorry Kevin. Let's get you out
of here.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, COCKPIT

Muntz scans the horizon. Suddenly the in-ship communicator
comes to life.

DOG WALLA
(on radio)
Master! He's gone! The old man!
He's here! He's got the bird! The
bird's gone!

MUNTZ
What? Calm down! One at a time!

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE, FRONT PORCH

Russell STRUGGLES to break free of the chair.

RUSSELL
I want to help!
He manages to get his arms free.

RUSSELL
Ha ha!

Except that all his struggling causes the chair to hop out on
the porch and fall off.

Russell SCREAMS as he falls. The hose unspools.

Russell reaches the end of the hose. Russell grabs onto it
and the chair jostles free, falling thousands of feet down.

The house drifts away from the dirigible.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, COCKPIT

The melee of conflicting reports from the dogs continues.

DOG WALLA
He's in Hall D! He's in Hall B!
It's the old man!

88.

MUNTZ
Does anyone know where they are?!?!

On cue, Russell SPLATS into the dashboard window of the
control room and SQUEEGEES across, dangling from the hose.
Muntz stares, slack-jawed.

RUSSELL
Whoooaaah!

The house floats off.

MUNTZ
(into radio)
Grey leader! Take down the house!

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE

Russell clings to the end of the hose, swaying in the wind.

What's that noise? From beneath the dirigible emerges...

EXT. OPEN SKY - CONTINUOUS

From beneath the dirigible, three spitfire airplanes emerge.
As they get closer, it is clear they are being flown by DOGS.

BETA
(into radio)
Grey leader, checking in.

GAMMA
Grey 2, checking in.

OMEGA
Grey 3, checking in.
The planes fall into formation and fly toward the house.

BETA
Target sighted.
The Dog Squadron Leader bites down on a squeaky bone chew toy
that fires poison darts.

The biplanes fire and strafe Carl's house with darts.
Russell SCREAMS, swaying beneath it on the hose.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, TROPHY ROOM

Carl, Dug and the bird escape through the trophy room.

89.

CARL
Come on, Kevin.

Behind the door, Muntz is waiting for them. He grabs a sword
from the wall display and attacks.
Dug hears and BITES Muntz on the leg.

Muntz kicks Dug loose and out the door. He slams it shut.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, OUTSIDE OF TROPHY ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Locked out, Dug jumps on the door and barks.

He hears growling and turns around. There stands Alpha and
the other dogs.

DUG
Hi.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, HALLWAY

Dug runs. The dogs give chase.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, TROPHY ROOM

Muntz swings his sword at Carl but misses. Carl uses his
cane to defend himself.

OLD MAN SWORD FIGHT!
Muntz smashes his trophy collection as he swings for Carl.
His sword gets stuck in a mounted skeleton.
Carl swings his cane and hits Muntz on the head. The tennis
balls bounce the cane off Muntz and smack Carl in the face.

Muntz pulls the sword free. He raises the sword over his
head to strike and his back CRACKS loudly. He's stuck! Carl
raises his cane over his head and his back CRACKS too.

Carl and Muntz STRUGGLE to move. Muntz CRACKS his back free
and kicks Carl in the chest, knocking him against a trophy.
He has the upper hand now. He throttles him with his arm and
lifts his sword.

MUNTZ
Any last words, Fredricksen? Come
on, spit it out!
Carl spits his FALSE TEETH at Muntz. He falls backwards.

90.

Carl collects his teeth and motions for Kevin.

CARL
Come on!

Muntz advances on Carl, who struggles to protect the bird.

Muntz is a wild man now, smashing and destroying anything
that gets in his way.

MUNTZ
Enough! I'm taking that bird back
with me alive or dead!
Carl trips and falls to the floor. Muntz is about to deal
the final blow.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, COCKPIT

Meanwhile Alpha backs Dug into the control panel. He bumps a
a LEVER.

EXT. DIRIGIBLE - CONTINUOUS

The entire dirigible rocks wildly to the side.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, TROPHY ROOM

Muntz is knocked off balance. He slides to one side. Trophy
cases slide after him.
The dirigible tilts to the other side.

The broken trophy cases barrel straight toward Carl!
Carl is thrown into a window which bursts open. Carl falls
through but manages to grab the frame with his cane. He
dangles out over open air.
He sees the biplanes circling the house, Russell hanging
beneath it.

The ship corrects again. Carl climbs back inside.
Muntz comes at Carl.

CARL
Come on, Kevin!

91.

EXT. SIDE OF DIRIGIBLE - CONTINUOUS

Carl climbs the work ladder up the side of the dirigible. He
pushes the bird along as he goes.

Muntz follows up.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, COCKPIT

Alpha throws Dug viciously across the room. Alpha throws him
again and Dug crashes into the steering wheel, knocking a
radar shade off the control panel.
Alpha moves in. Dug hides behind the steering wheel.

ALPHA
I will have many enjoyments for
what I am about to do, Dug.

Alpha lunges at Dug through the steering wheel. Dug cowers,
but then notices the RADAR SHADE.

As Alpha lunges again, Dug jams the shade over Alpha's head.
Alpha's head is stuck, trapped by the cone.
The dogs all GASP.

MISC DOG
He wears the Cone of Shame!

ALPHA
(high-pitched voice)
What? Do not just continue
sitting! Attack!

The bump caused his collar to go funny again. The dogs all
howl with laughter.

ALPHA
(high pitched voice)
No! No! Stop your laughing! Get
this off of me!

DUG
Listen you dog! Sit!
Surprised at Dug's moxy, Alpha sits. All other dogs sit too.

DOG WALLA
Yes, Alpha.

92.

DUG
Alpha? I am not Alpha, he is-

(REALIZING)
Oohhhh!

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE

Russell TRIES TO CLIMB the hose. His hands are about to give
out.
The biplanes head straight at Russell.

RUSSELL
(out of breath)
I can't do it!

Behind him, Carl is climbing the side of the dirigible for
dear life, Muntz closing in.

CARL
(far in the distance)
Russell!

RUSSELL
Huh?

Carl calls for help: the WILDERNESS EXPLORER CALL.

RUSSELL
You leave Mr. Fredricksen alone!

Russell CLIMBS!
He's more machine than boy now. Biplanes shooting the whole
way, he climbs up onto the porch.
The biplanes close in.

Russell yells to them.

RUSSELL
Hey!
(pointing down)
Squirrel!

All the dog pilots snap to attention.

GAMMA
Squirrel?

OMEGA
Where's the squirrel?!

93.

The planes dive, crash into each other. The dog pilots
parachute out.

GAMMA
I hate squirrels.

EXT. SIDE OF DIRIGIBLE

Carl climbs. Muntz grabs Carl's foot. Carl defends himself
with his cane, knocking Muntz off the ladder. Muntz catches
on to a rung of the ladder.

He watches Carl and the bird climb.

Muntz descends the ladder.

EXT. DIRIGIBLE, TOP - DAY

Carl and the bird make it to the top of the dirigible.
Suddenly, a trap door opens. Carl GASPS... but it's Dug!

CARL
Dug!
Dug jumps up on Carl, licking his face.

DUG
Master!
The house bears down on them. They run to meet it.

CARL
Russell!! Over here!! Let's go!

Russell steers the house toward Carl.

RUSSELL
Mr. Fredricksen!

The house slows and lowers atop the airship. Carl HOISTS the
bird up onto the porch.

CARL
Come on, Kevin!
Carl helps Dug onto the porch. He climbs up himself...

BLAM! Muntz appears on top of the dirigible with a rifle!

A bullet blasts through Carl's balloon strings. A third of
them break or shoot skyward. The house plummets, crashing
onto the dirigible.

94.

Carl is THROWN from the house onto the airship.

The house slides toward the edge, Russell, Dug and Kevin
still inside.

CARL
No!

Carl SCRAMBLES to grab the hose trailing from the sliding
house. The house slides on to the dirigible's tail fin.
Holding the hose, Carl digs in his heels and is just able to
stop it.

The house teeters on the very edge of the tail fin.

CARL
Russell! Get out of there!
Russell, Dug and Kevin run toward the front porch.

BLAM! A bullet smashes the door jam next to them.

Muntz storms toward the house. Carl holds desperately to the
hose.

CARL
No! Leave them alone!

Russell and others duck inside and slam the door.

The house tilts, threatening to tip off at any second. Carl
holds on for his life.

Muntz POUNDS on the door with the butt of the rifle.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, HALLWAY

Russell, Dug and Kevin back away from the door.

EXT. DIRIGIBLE, TOP

The house slides farther over the edge.

Carl struggles to hold on. The hose caddy is ripping free
from the house! The bolts pop from the wooden siding... it's
about to go!

INT. CARL'S HOUSE

Russell, Dug and Kevin run into the living room.

95.

EXT. DIRIGIBLE, TOP

Muntz KICKS the door.

Suddenly, Carl has an idea.

CARL
Russell! Hang on to Kevin! Don't
let go of her!

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM

Confused, Russell follows Carl's directions. He Dug and the
bird huddle together.

Muntz breaks through the door. He lifts his rifle and sights
the bird...
Through the window, Carl yells out.

EXT. DIRIGIBLE, TOP

CARL
Kevin! Chocolate!

Carl holds aloft a bar of chocolate.

INT. CARL'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM

Kevin lunges, pushing past Muntz and knocking the rifle from
his hands.

Muntz lunges after them.

EXT. CARL'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

The hose caddy breaks free.
Kevin leaps through the window, Russell and Dug hanging from
her side.

Muntz leaps after them.
But balloon strings tangle around his leg and pull him back.

Muntz hangs for a moment... It's thousands of feet from the
ground....
He falls.

96.

EXT. DIRIGIBLE, TOP

PANTING, Carl is left holding the hose. He PULLS himself
toward the edge.

The hose curves beneath the tail fin. Finally it swings
out...

RUSSELL
That was cool!
Russell and Dug dangle from it, sitting on Kevin. The bird
holds on to the hose with her beak.
Carl LAUGHS, relieved.

CARL
Don't jerk around so much, kid!
Russell climbs up, followed by the bird and Dug.

DUG
Oh I am ready to not be up high.
Carl LAUGHS heartily as Dug jumps on him and licks his face.
Carl looks into the distance. His house, now empty, floats
softly down into the clouds, and disappears.

RUSSELL
Sorry about your house, Mr.
Fredricksen.

Carl smiles. He puts his arm around Russell.

CARL
You know, it's just a house.
Carl, Russell, Dug and Kevin stand on the tail of the airship
floating off over the clouds.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. MOUNTAIN, LABYRINTH GATE - AFTERNOON

Carl and Russell hold and cuddle the baby birds. The babies
peck at Carl's head. Carl and Russell LAUGH.

CARL
Ow! Ow! Ow!

RUSSELL
Look at you. You're so soft.

97.

Kevin CALLS OUT, waiting for the babies at the gate to the
LABYRINTH. Time to go.

CARL/RUSSELL

(DISAPPOINTED)
Awwww!

RUSSELL
I wish I could keep one.

The babies run to the bird. One stops to HISS at Dug.

Carl has misplaced something.

CARL
Huh, where's my cane? I just had
it here...
Kevin starts HACKING. She COUGHS up the cane.

Babies start HACKING too. They COUGH up tennis balls.

CARL
You know what? Keep `em. A little
gift from me to you.
The bird family enters the labyrinth. Carl and Russell wave.

RUSSELL
Bye Kevin!
The bird looks back toward Carl and Russell and CALLS OUT one
last time before disappearing into the mist.

INT. DIRIGIBLE, COCKPIT - LATER

Carl and Russell both wear matching leather flight helmets
and goggles.

RUSSELL
Ready?
Carl gives a thumbs up.

CARL
Ready!

98.

EXT. DIRIGIBLE

Muntz's dirigible ascends into the sky. Dug and all of
MUNTZ'S DOGS stick their heads out the dirigible windows,
barking as they fly into the sunset.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. AUDITORIUM

CAMP MASTER STRAUCH
...and by receiving their badges,
the following Explorers will
graduate to Senior Explorers.

Each Junior Wilderness Explorer stands next to his father.
As the Camp Master announces the achievement he hands the
father a badge, who pins it to his son's sash.

CAMP MASTER STRAUCH
For Extreme Mountaineering Lore...
Congratulations, Jimmy.
(hands badge to dad)
For Wild Animal Defensive Arts...
Congratulations, Brandon.
(hands badge)
For Assisting the Elderly...
Russell is tanned and dirty. And alone.

CAMP MASTER STRAUCH
Uh, Russell? Is there... someone
that... uh...

The Camp Master CLEARS HIS THROAT uncomfortably. Russell
looks for his dad in the audience.

CARL (O.S.)
Excuse me. Pardon me. Old man
coming through.
Carl takes his place next to Russell.

CARL
(to Camp Master)
I'm here for him.

CAMP MASTER STRAUCH
Congratulations, Russell. Sir...

The Camp Master hands Carl the badge and continues down the
line.

99.

CARL
Russell, for assisting the elderly,
and for performing above and beyond
the call of duty, I would like to
award you the highest honor I can
bestow: The Ellie Badge.

Carl pins the badge onto the missing spot on Russell's sash.
It's Ellie's GRAPE SODA PIN.

RUSSELL
Wow.

Carl smiles.

They salute each other. Russell gives Carl a hug. Carl
returns it.
Russell's mom sits in the audience with Dug. Russell proudly
shows her the badge.

CAMP MASTER STRAUCH
Alright, I think that covers
everybody... So let's give a big
Explorer Call to our brand new
Senior Wilderness Explorers! Ready
everybody?
The Camp Master leads the audience in the WILDERNESS EXPLORER

CALL.

Muntz's dogs sit in the back, BARKING in approval.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CURB OUTSIDE FENTONS ICE CREAM PARLOR - DAY

Carl and Russell sit on a curb licking ice cream cones.
Russell has chocolate and Carl has butter-brickle.

Cars pass by.

RUSSELL
Blue one.

CARL
Red one.

DUG
Grey one.

CARL
Red one.

100.

Russell GIGGLES.

RUSSELL
That's a bike!

CARL
It's red, isn't it?

RUSSELL
Mr. Fredricksen, you're cheating.

CARL
No, I'm not. Red one.

RUSSELL
That's a fire hydrant.

They LAUGH.

CARL
Maybe I need new glasses.

Overhead, MUNTZ'S DIRIGIBLE is parked, its ladder in the
handicapped parking spot.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. PARADISE FALLS - AFTERNOON

On top of Paradise Falls sits Carl's house, just as Ellie
imagined it.

THE END

| Up

Writers : Pete Docter Bob Peterson Thomas McCarthy
Genres : Animation Adventure Comedy Drama Family

User Comments

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Q: What is Helen Keller's favorite color? A1: Corduroy. A2: Velcro. Q. Why is all of Helen Keller's face burnt? A. She was bobbing for french fries. Q: How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? A: She answer the iron. Q: How did she burn the other side of her face? A: They called back. Q: Why was Helen Keller's leg wet? A: Her dog was blind too. Q. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? A. she needs the other to moan with. Q. How did she burn her fingers? A. Reading the waffle iron Q. What did she do when she fell down the well? A. She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue. Q. How come she didn't scream when she fell off the cliff? A. She was wearing mittens Q. Why does she wear skin tight pants? A. So you can read her lips Q. Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? A. You would too if your name was 'Urghrrghrghr'. Q. Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll? A. Wind it up and it walks into walls. Q. What's this (slowly waving fingers)? A. Helen Keller moaning Q: Who is the cruelest man in the world? A: The guy who raped Helen Keller, then cut off her hands so she couldn't scream for help. Q: How come Helen Keller can't have kids?? A: Because she's DEAD! Q. How did Helen Keller drive herself crazy? A. Trying to read a stucco wall. Q: What did HK's parent's do to punish her? A1: Rearranged the furniture A2: Left the plunger in the toilet bowl A3: Put Saran Wrap on the toilet. A4: Put her in a round room and told her there's a penny in the corner A5: Washed her hands out with soap A6: Gave her bird-seed to read. A7: Glued doorknobs to the walls Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? A1: She's a woman. A2: She's dead. Q: How did Helen Keller break her arm in the car? A: Trying to read stop signs. Q: How did HK get poke marks on her face? A: Learning to eat with a fork. Q: What's the name of Helen Keller's favorite book? A: "Around the block in 80 Days" Q: Define true love. A: Hellen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing tennis. Q: Did you know that Helen Keller had a dollhouse in the backyard? A: Neither did she. Q: How did Helen Keller drive her car? A: One hand on the wheel; The other on the road. Q: How did Helen Keller meet her husband? A: On a blind date! Q: How did Helen Keller pierce her ear? A: Answering the stapler. Q: How did Helen Keller's teachers punish her for talking in class? A: They made her wear mittens. Q: Why didn't Helen Keller change her baby's diaper? A: So she could always find him. Q: Why did Helen Keller have yellow fingers? A: from whispering sweet-nothings in her boyfriends ear Q: How did Helen Keller pick her eyes out? A: She shouted histerically.

2017-01-13 17:35:24 UTC

Flamingo

2017-01-13 17:36:06 UTC

How many shrimps do you have to eat?
before you make your skin turn pink
eat too much and you'll get sick

shrimps are pretty rich

Nande aitsura wa pinku?
Doubutsu-en de omou to pinku
Tabemono de, sou nanda
Jitsu wa watashi wa tarako ga daisuki
Purasu ebi kani tabeyo
Pinku iro ni naru no
Dakara minna chigau iro
Ningen-de kanchigai
Shiteru yo ne

Black, white, green or blue
show off your natural hue
flamingo, oh oh owoah
if your multicouloured thats cool too
You, dont, need to change
its boring being the same
flamingo, oh oh oh
Your pretty either way

Tsuru no shippo shita ni mukatte magetara FURAMINGO〜
Imi fumei dakedo omoshiroi deshou
Niji iro ni somatte sekai
Kyou mo chikyuu no doko ka de
Ebi wo mushamusha tabete
Furamingo wa, pinku iro ni
Somatte ikuze １２３！

Black, white, green or blue
show off your natural hue
flamingo, oh oh oh
if your multicouloured thats cool too
You, dont, need to change
its boring being the same
flamingo, oh oh oh
Your pretty either way

Flamingo

How many shrimps do you have to eat?
before you make your skin turn pink
eat too much and you'll get sick
shrimps are pretty rich

green or blue
show off your natural hue
flamingo, oh oh oh
if your multicouloured thats cool too
You, dont, need to change
its boring being the same
flamingo, oh oh oh
Your pretty either way

flamingo, oh oh oh

PINK!

flamingo, oh oh oh

War and Peace

2017-01-13 17:37:24 UTC

 As the 19th century began,

 a darkening shadow  moved across Europe.

 This shadow was propelled  by the voice of one man,

 Napoleon Bonaparte.

 Only Russia and England  offered impressive resistance.

 Over Russia, the weather was clear,  the sun was shining.

 Napoleon was 1,000 miles away,

 and the streets of Moscow  were excellent for parades.

 Splendid sights, splendid men, eh, Pierre?

 - For parades. - What do you mean by that?

 Remember, I've seen the French marching, too.

 Don't tell me they march better than that.

 - Led by the greatest man in Europe. - Bonaparte?

 Bonaparte.

 A usurper! A murderer! A deposer of kings!

 A colossus! A fresh wind! A cleansing force!

 What does your father say when he hears you?

 We don't talk about things like that, my father and I.

 - How is he? - The doctors say he'll die any moment.

 - Have you been to see him? - I'm waiting to be asked.

 In heaven, all things will be arranged.

 I believe that's the rumour.

 This is your home when you want it to be,

 and the Rostovs are your family when you want them to be.

 I smoke too much.

 Isn't it lovely? How can you bear not to go with them?

 I can bear it.

 If I were a man, I'd be down there, riding a terrible black horse,

 waving a sword.

 It's so unfair.

 Men are the only people permitted to have any fun.

 What is it, Natasha?

 Those handsome young men marching away to fight.

 They could be killed.

 Don't be frightened. Come on.

 Nicholas!

 Now, what's this?

 You look so dazzling in your uniform.

 And you're going so far away.

 Austria's miles, I looked it up on the map.

 That brute, Napoleon.

 The Austrians make beautiful bracelets. I'll bring you one.

 - Two! They're wearing them in pairs! - Two.

 Pierre, you remember our cousin, Sonya. She's come to stay.

 Yes, though she was considerably younger the last time I saw her.

 Girls grow up, Pierre. Very fast. Doesn't he look glorious?

 Mama and Papa have such handsome children!

 Did you hear that?

 Now, attention!

{    } Ensign Count Nicholas Rostov, I decorate you with the Order of...

  ...Absolutely Everything!

  Don't laugh when she jokes about the army.

  Well, Petya, you have to humour women a little!

  You do look shiny, Nicholas. If only I was old enough.

  That'll come.

  By that time, there won't be a Frenchman left to be killed!

  Don't worry, there'll always be plenty of Frenchmen.

  - Good luck. - That's very civil of you.

  - But why not take a commission? - It's so easy for you men.

  You decide to do something, then do it.

  If you were a man, what would you do?

  I'd become enormously powerful.

  I'd become the Czar's most trusted minister, and he'd consult me.

  And you would sit at my right hand.

  Whenever anything was complicated,

  the case would be laid before you as judge.

  Why me?

  Because your heart is pure and you're good.

  Well done, my dear.

  On that note, I think I should leave.

  If you had that power, what would you do?

  I?

  I would hesitate. Now I must go.

  - Pierre, come again soon. - I'll walk you to the door.

  - "Au revoir." - Come soon again.

  Come again soon.

  Mama and Papa will be awfully lonely with Nicholas gone.

  - They do love seeing you. - Of course. I love the whole family.

  The whole family? That's not as simple as you think.

  What do you mean?

  There are currents and counter-currents.

   Au revoir.

  Now, where are you going? Dolokhov's rooms?

  I am. How did you know?

  I hear things, I hear things.

  Go. Go to your night of disgusting, fascinating debauchery.

   Au revoir.

  Bravo! Bravo!

  - Careful, there's a bet on here. - Fetch me a bottle of rum!

  You two, break this out.

  Now, let's get this straight.

  Fifty imperials against Prince Anatole

  that I drink a bottle of rum without taking it from my mouth,

  balancing on the outside ledge without touching the sides of the window.

  - Want to make it a hundred? - Fifty is enough for you to lose.

  Get down from there, you weaklings.

  - Hercules, come on! - Come on!

  You do it!

  Hail Moscow!

  Give me that!

  Don't be crazy, you'll be killed.

  Touch me again, I'll throw you down there.

  That goes for every one of you.

  Play! Play! What are we paying you for?

  Now then, my friends.

  Remember, without taking the bottle from your lips.

  Bravo!

  Fifty imperials, Anatole!

  And double for anyone else who will do it.

  I'll do it for nothing, without a bet!

  - You get dizzy walking up steps! - Out of my way!

  Give me a bottle!

  Get down from there.

  - Get down from there, Pierre. - Let him do it.

  Your father is calling for you.

  Excuse me, gentlemen.

  I suggest a little cold water first.

  I'll wait for you.

  Prince Andrei, is the old boy really dying?

  The doctors are certain Count Bezukhov won't last the night.

  - Are my father and sister there? - He was there. She was expected.

  That's good. I don't have to go. The family's well represented.

  Careful, careful.

  You disapprove of me? Of course. You'd be wrong if you didn't.

  Arriving at the deathbed of my father bleary-eyed, stinking of alcohol.

  He disapproves, too, my father.

  That's fair enough. I disapprove of many things about him.

  Chiefly, I disapprove of the fact that he didn't marry my mother.

  Perhaps, if I was legitimate...

  I have sinned, Lord, but I have several excellent excuses.

  With all that, Andrei, you still disapprove?

  You're not being worthy of yourself.

  You're not living up to the best things in yourself. Be somebody!

  That's where the puzzle begins, be somebody. Be what? Who am I?

  Am I the next Count Bezukhov, lord of vast estates,

  with a fixed position, fixed responsibilities?

  Not quite!

  My father cannot quite acknowledge that I am his son.

  But he cannot quite acknowledge that I am not his son.

  That makes everybody uncomfortable, including myself.

  - You must aim at something. - You're right, I agree with you.

  Each morning I wake up, I'm disgusted with myself

  with what I did the night before.

  I tell myself, "Today, a change."

  If my headache is bad enough, I say, "Pierre...

  "...today you must take steps to become a saint."

  I drop into the club and watch the card-playing,

  just order a glass of water to prove how marvellously I resist temptation.

  Then someone comes along and says, "Just one vodka, Pierre."

  Next morning, my headache is worse, my pockets are emptier.

  There must be something you want to do.

  I want to discover... everything!

  I want to discover why I know what's right and still do what's wrong.

  I want to discover what happiness is, and what value there is in suffering.

  I want to discover why men go to war,

  and what they really say deep in their hearts when they pray.

  I want to discover what men and women feel when they say they love.

  There's enough to keep me busy.

  It's hard to understand someone like me.

  Everything is so clear for you.

  - You know exactly what you must do. - Oh, exactly!

  You're different from me. You study, you become enlightened.

  I study, I become confused.

  You love, you marry. You believe, you act. There's a war, you serve.

  If only I really answered to your description.

  - You do. - Shall I show you how wrong you are?

  - I know you. I'm not wrong. - Know why I'm going to the war?

  Because I regard Napoleon as a monster?

  Because I believe we should fight Austria's battles      miles away?

  Because Russia will be a greater nation after the war?

  Then, why?

  Because I married the most loving and attractive woman in Moscow,

  and I can't stand it.

  Never marry, Pierre.

  Or only when you're old and good for nothing,

  or else everything noble in you will be lost.

  You'll waste yourself on trifles.

  Yes. Don't look at me like that.

  You talk of Bonaparte's career.

  If Bonaparte had married young,

  he'd still be on half-pay, carrying his wife's handbag,

  inviting idiots to his house because his wife wanted invitations to theirs!

  - Prince Andrei. - Princess Hélene.

  You told my brother he was expected?

  - I did. - Isn't he coming?

  I believe not.

  Thank you.

  How is he, Prince Vasili?

  His confessor is with him. They are giving him extreme unction.

  He was asking for you.

  I hope you are in a proper condition to see him this time.

  Follow me.

  Go ahead. I'll wait for you here.

  If you please, Monsieur Pierre.

  He wishes you to kiss him goodbye.

  This is for you.

  Now he would like to sleep.

  Pierre...

  So late. Finally, at the end, he loved me.

  So late.

  He gave me this.

  This letter is for the Czar.

  - And this one for you, Pierre. - Open it.

  "Your father, in his letter to the Czar,

  "he begs that you be legitimately acknowledged as his son

  "and the next Count Bezukhov, the sole heir to all his estates."

  Be worthy, my boy.

  Be worthy of your great father.

  How often we sin. How much we deceive, and for what?

  It all ends in death.

  Kiss your cousin, Hélene, he has been reborn.

  Embrace him. Wish him well.

  It's a good thing we're going back to Moscow.

  After three weeks in the country, I can hardly keep my eyes open.

  Still, it was a profitable trip, wasn't it, Pierre?

  Very profitable.

  I'll see how long we have to wait.

  There's no hurry. It'll give Papa a few extra winks of sleep.

  Andrei!

  Pierre!

  - Where are you going? Your father's? - Yes. Tell me your news.

  - Are you alone? - No. Prince Vasili is with me.

  And his daughter, too.

  We made a tour of inspection of my estates. It's huge and backward.

  Now I'm Count Bezukhov, I must do something about it.

  That's why you went with Prince Vasili and Hélene.

  Prince Vasili helps me with the administration.

  Of course.

  Say hello to Lise.

  She's miserable at being stuck in the country.

  Hélene loves the country. It was her idea to come.

  I'm sure.

  - Children, go away! - How long are you here?

  For ever. Months and months and months!

  Until after the baby is born. No, thank you.

  Andrei's leaving tomorrow.

  He thought it'd be better for me here than alone in Moscow.

  How do you feel about it?

  I dread it.

  Even so, you consented to bury yourself down here?

  Andrei wants me to.

  If it were I, I'd find something else to do.

  I suppose so. But we're very different.

  Indeed we are.

  - Have you asked her to marry you? - No.

  Are you going to?

  I don't know yet.

  - Do you want some advice? - On any subject. Not on this.

  All right.

  Andrei! Lise!

  We thought you'd never come. Lise, you look so beautiful.

  - You, too, Mary. - No, I'm just a country mouse.

  It isn't true what you wrote, that you're only staying overnight?

  - I'm afraid it is. - Lise, talk to him. Make him stay.

  - I've tried. - Lise's very tired. She'd better rest.

  - Yes? - Your father would like to see you.

  Thank you. You'd better go upstairs, Lise.

  You'll see him at dinner.

  Come!

  Here's the warrior!

  Here's the Bolkonsky that's going to beat Napoleon.

  How are you, my boy?

  I'm well, Father. How is your health?

  The same, boy, the same. Only fools fall ill.

  You know me, busy from morning till night.

  Little to eat, less to drink, of course I'm well.

  - Thank God. - God has nothing to do with it.

  Just a moment, please.

  - Don't refuse. - What is it?

  Father's father used to take it along with him... in all his wars.

  If it's not too heavy and won't break my neck.

  Promise that you'll never take it off.

  - Promise? - Yes.

  Kiss me here.

  Thank you, my boy.

  - Why do you thank me, Father? - For doing your duty.

  For not allowing yourself to be tied to a woman's apron strings.

  The army before everything. Thank you, thank you.

  About my wife, Father...

  Your wife? Go on, speak.

  When her confinement is due, send to Moscow for a doctor.

  - A doctor? - No one can do nature's work.

  But they've been telling her things and she's had a dream.

  She's frightened.

  All right, all right.

  Give this to Michael Kutuzov.

  We were at school together.

  He wasn't exactly a bright lad, but never mind.

  I've written to tell him to keep you away from headquarters.

  They're bad places.

  Tell him I remember him and admire him.

  Now, goodbye.

  Remember this, Prince Andrei.

  If they kill you, it will hurt me, your old father.

  But, if you don't behave like the son of Nicholas Bolkonsky, it will be worse.

  I shall be shamed.

  You needn't have said that to me, Father.

  I... also wanted to ask you,

  if I am killed and I have a son,

  don't let him be taken away from you.

  Let him grow up here.

  With you. Please.

  What are you waiting for? We've said goodbye. Go! Go!

  Andrei, you're leaving already?

  Don't go, don't leave me here. I'll be so lonely.

  I'll leave you here with my father and Mary.

  Stay until tomorrow. Stay another day.

  I can't, Lise, you know that!

  You're delighted to go. You're delighted to get rid of me!

  Andrei, Andrei...

  Bye, Mary.

  Katya, get some smelling salts.

  Tell the silly horse to stop shaking its head. I'll never get it.

  You heard the lady, stop shaking your head.

  You see? Animals are much more reasonable than people.

  Might I offer you a million roubles to paint my portrait?

  But you must make me look at least as good as the horse!

  It's not fair to look at it before it's finished.

  - Very unpromising, isn't it? - Yes, it is.

  You needn't be in such a hurry to agree.

  It's not meant to be a work of art. Papa bought the colt for Nicholas.

  I'll send him the picture to show him what it's like.

  - Have you finished? - For the moment.

  Charge! Come on! Hurry!

  Come on! Come on!

  - Have you heard from Nicholas? - Papa received a letter. Not me.

  Men forget about women when at war.

  - Men don't, boys do. - Nicholas would be furious at that!

  - He'd challenge you to a duel. - It's a better reason than most.

  The reason he wrote was for more money.

  He lends money to his captain who loses it at cards.

  The captain sounds a lot like Papa.

  His name's Denisov. He's got moustaches out to here.

  He lisps and he's the bravest man in the world.

  Nicholas says he's having a glorious time,

  and we'll win the war soon.

  He's beginning to feel quite sorry for Napoleon.

  Kill them! Come on, men!

  Take that! Come on, charge!

  There's no doubt, wars must be very amusing.

  - I must put it on my list. - What list?

  My list of the greatest human pleasures in order of importance.

  - I'd neglected war. - What are the other pleasures?

  The opera, eternal friendship, summertime, dancing the mazurka,

  the country in spring and welcoming soldiers home.

  - Have you any suggestions? - Let me think.

  To be able to believe in God,

  to cause happiness, to love.

  Love! Sonya's in love with Nicholas.

  She cries every day in the morning for a full hour.

  - Don't you intend to fall in love? - Many times but only for recreation.

  And I'll keep changing partners like a dance.

  When I finally say, "I love you," and mean it,

  it'll be like a defeated general,

  surrendering and handing his sword to his enemy.

  You'll change.

  When you're young, everybody's always telling you you'll change.

  - Are you dining with us tonight? - I have a previous engagement.

  Oh? With whom?

  My cousin, Princess Hélene.

  Oh. I'd like to be like her when I grow up.

  I'd have to fill out around here, though.

  Tall, proud, beautiful, cold and untouchable.

  With regiments of men dropping at my feet.

  I'm going to marry her, Natasha.

  Gently, gently.

  Who's surrendering his sword, you or she?

  Be happy, dearest Pierre.

  I order you to be supremely happy.

  I'll be leaving again directly. Wait.

  I must deliver a message to General Kutuzov immediately.

  Well, I...

  There's the General's aide. Talk to him, Ensign.

  I've just come from the picket lines.

  I've a message for the Commander-in-Chief.

  His Excellency is in a council of war. Give me the message.

  A verbal message.

  Deliver it to me now.

  My squadron is on picket duty. We saw the French put out their fires.

  - The enemy's on the move, sir. - Is that all?

  Is that all?

  I'd say you've seen no action yet, am I right?

  Good luck, my friend.

  ...it's apparent the enemy has regrouped his position.

  Surely now, you should consider changing the orders for tomorrow.

  Or rather for today, for it is past midnight.

  Gentlemen...

  Gentlemen, the orders for tomorrow cannot now be altered.

  You've heard them, and we shall all do our duty.

  But, before a battle, there is nothing more important...

  ...than to have a good sleep.

  Goodnight.

  - Goodnight, sir. - Goodnight, sir.

  - Goodnight, sir. - Goodnight, sir.

  But, sir, if the French are that far south of Austerlitz...

  Plans!

  After the battle, they'll have a hundred reasons why the plans didn't work.

  They'll blame everything but themselves.

  How do you think it will go tomorrow?

  I think the battle will be lost.

  We shall not have lost the war, Andrei, because of this one battle.

  There will be a peace...

  ...and then a new war.

  Men like Napoleon can never stop

  till their own ambition destroys them.

  The only important battle is the last.

  Goodnight.

  Fire!

  Sir, it looks as if the French have broken our flank.

  Captain, the Hussars must charge.

  - You're wounded. - The wound's not here, it's there!

  Stop them!

  Stop those cowards, Bolkonsky!

  Forward, lads! Forward!

  Forward!

  Forward, lads! Forward!

  That is a fine death.

  Oh, he is alive!

  Have him attended to and take him to my bivouac.

  Let my doctor examine his wounds.

  - So early in the morning, Pierre. - It's    o'clock.

  - So early! - We have a lot of shopping to do.

  Oh, Pierre, I'm so tired.

  All right, I'll go myself and come back early.

  - The morning papers, sir. - Thank you.

  - Anything amusing in "The Gazette?" - No, we've lost again.

  An armistice is going to be discussed.

  Prisoners and wounded on both sides will be immediately returned.

  In a word, we're suing for peace.

  - You sound bitter. - Maybe I am.

  What difference does it make, a piece of Poland changes hands?

  It's so boring to worry about things like that!

  - So, no more war. - For the time being.

  For the time being.

  - Then the armies will be coming back. - I suppose so.

  Moscow will be very gay and exciting.

  Pierre, why don't we stay here and not go to the country?

  Not this year. It'll be such a gay season.

  I'm not interested. Besides, I have work at the hospital, the school.

  They'll do just as well without you in the hospital and the schools.

  I promised those people.

  Well, I never liked the idea!

  Pierre, come here.

  Listen, you know what we can do?

  You go to the country all by yourself. Do what you have to do.

  Get the house ready, then I'll join you in the spring.

  The country's so dreary in the winter.

  Please don't force it on me, Pierre.

  If you must stay, stay, but I'll be lost without you there.

  Nonsense. It will be good for the both of us.

  And you'll appreciate me more when you haven't seen me for some time.

  I couldn't appreciate you more, Hélene.

  If you only knew how many things I have to do, dresses to have made,

  lots of shoes and...

  Why are you looking at me like that? Why?

  What does it mean?

  Nothing, my dear.

  They were defeated. What are they cheering about?

  Because they fought, because they're alive, because they've come home.

  I hope nothing's happened.

  - Gracious! The young Captain! - Prokofy!

  Prokofy, is everything all right?

  - The Lord be thanked. Yes. - Good!

  Nicholas!

  Natasha!

  You're back! It's you, my dearest Nicholas!

  Sonya!

  - Look, it's him! - Nicholas! Hurray!

  - Papa! - Nicholas!

  Nicholas!

  Nicholas...

  Mama.

  - You must be...? - Your son's friend.

  I know, Nicholas wrote to us. Natasha, Sonya!

  Welcome.

  - Welcome. - Sonya, it's wonderful!

  Nicholas! You haven't said hello to Sonya yet.

  What's the sense of coming home from a war, if that's all you do?

  - Good morning. - Ah, my pipe.

  Rostov, wake up!

  - Why, is it late? - "It's    o'clock. Get up, Nicholas!"

  Directly.

  Is this your sabre? Or yours? Get back, you Frenchman!

  - Here I come! - At last!

  Why did you stay in bed so long? I've been waiting for you to get up.

  You're quite a man, aren't you? I'm awfully glad you're my brother.

  I want to know what men are like. Are you the same as all of them?

  - Natasha... Sonya's so young. - Sonya's my dearest friend.

  If she loves someone, she does it for life. She loves us like that.

  Remember before you went away? She told me you're to forget all that.

  "I will love him always, but let him be free." Isn't that lovely and noble?

  - I'll never go back on my word. - But it won't do.

  Because if you marry her because of a promise,

  it'll seem you're marrying her because you must, and that wouldn't be right.

  We'll talk it over later. I'm so glad I have you!

  - Are you still true to Pierre? - Don't be silly!

  I'll be a dancer and never marry. Don't tell anyone.

  Get dressed and we'll have breakfast.

  Andrei!

  Did you get my letter?

  I met the doctor at the last relay point. Are we in time?

  - Let's hope so. We must pray for her. - What a strange fate.

  My darling, God is merciful.

  I love you. I love you all.

  I've never done any harm to anyone.

  Why must I suffer so? Andrei, please help me!

  My boy, you have to leave now.

  There, there, my dear.

  No... no!

  Upon my word, Rostov, if I were to see fifty more operas,

  I wager I might wind up liking them!

  But... I do like the intermissions.

  - I say, Rostov, that one, there. - Yes?

  She's superb.

  But wait. Well!

  - Where's the husband? - Pierre...

  He spends most of his time in the country nowadays.

  If I were the husband,

  I'd come up from the country fast!

  To the Emperor!

  Listen, we took the bear to the house of that actress,

  and when the police tried to arrest us,

  we tied one of them on the back of the bear

  and shoved them both into the river!

  There they were, both swimming, the man and the bear.

  - Wake up! The party's still young! - Don't be rough with him.

  Always be polite to the husbands of pretty women.

  Let's drink to the health of beautiful women!

  Yes, to the health of lovely women, huh, Pierre?

  And to their lovers!

  Here, look at this. It's a new song written about General Kutuzov.

  - That interests me. - What?

  I said that interests me.

  Express your regrets and he'll accept them.

  No. What is there to talk about? Is everything ready?

  - No apologies. - First, tell me how to use this thing.

  It's very simple. You cock it, there's the trigger.

  Yes, I know, I just forgot.

  No apologies. None whatever.

  On the count of three, begin to advance.

  One, two, three.

  Get away from here!

  It's not over!

  To your barrier! Stay where you are!

  Cover yourself, you fool!

  Well, now, the hero! The dashing duellist!

  My protector! Thank you for defending my honour.

  You believed that Dolokhov was my lover. What did you prove?

  That you are a fool! Now I'll be the laughing stock of all Moscow!

  Everyone will say that you were drunk.

  Challenging a man that you were jealous of, without cause!

  A man that is a better man than you are in every way!

  - We'd better separate. - Separate?

  That's a charming idea! It's a wonderful idea!

  It's the best idea you've had in your whole life!

  We'll separate, but you will pay for it!

  You'll give me a fortune for it!

  No!

  Get out!

  The count is waiting for you upstairs.

  - What have you heard? - Dolokhov won't die.

  Thank God.

  It's only easier to kill good men.

  Men like Dolokhov are only good for wars.

  In between wars, they ought to be locked up in cages. Here.

  I'd like to leave Moscow.

  I want to get away from these people who believe it's normal to kill.

  At the banquet, when Dolokhov made the toast,

  I looked across at him smiling at me,

  I was convinced of the guilt of my wife.

  Is that a reason to kill? Hélene was guilty, not Dolokhov.

  I might have done the same thing. Maybe it's even certain.

  There we were, in the snow, facing each other with pistols.

  - You know who's guilty? I, only I. - Pierre, don't be silly.

  And you know why? Because I married her without loving her.

  I had to have her, so I made myself blind.

  I lied when I said to her, "I love you."

  Because of that

  there's Dolokhov stretched in pain, alive only by the grace of God.

  Because of my weakness, my lie. I'm guilty. I must suffer for it.

  You must stop thinking like this, or it'll become an obsession.

  Look, if you'll agree, we'll all go to our place in the country.

  And Nicholas wants to show it to Denisov. Come with us?

  Of course you'll come. I'll tell the family. Mama!

  Natasha, Sonya, Petya! Hurry! We start for the country tonight.

  Why didn't you tell me Pierre was here?

  We must start while the moon is high.

  Ilya, what has happened? What moon are you speaking of?

  Is there more than one, my pet? How long must we wait for Nicholas?

  I'm happy you made up your mind. The snow will be gone tomorrow!

  Sonya, hurry.

  - Order the troikas. - Immediately!

  We're off! Hurry, Nicholas, you're delaying the trip to the country.

  - The country? - You can show Denisov. Come on!

  - You'll like this. - I was just beginning to enjoy Moscow!

  Faster, faster, faster!

  Faster, Nitka!

   As we ride in the troika, you and I  Stars are twinkling up in the sky

   Strains of sweet balalaika soft and low  Sleigh bells tinkling across the snow

   Hold me close and kiss me, Katiusha  Let's be happy and gay, hey!

   When I'm gone you'll miss me, Katiusha

   Miss me many a day!

  Nicholas!

  - Come on, Pierre, it's your turn now! - Hurry, hurry!

  Young Nicholas!

  Petya!

  Ever since Nicholas joined the army, he's become terribly efficient.

  - I quite agree with you. - Just a minute...

  That's my friend, Prince Andrei Bolkonsky. Can he join us?

  - By all means! - Do ask him.

  Come on, Natasha!

  Greetings! Good to see you. I didn't know you were in the country.

  The Rostovs invite you to join the hunt.

  I'm afraid anyone else's society would give me more pain than pleasure.

  Prince Andrei, may I present the Countess Rostova.

  And her brother, Petya Rostov.

  I hope Pierre's convinced you to come. It's the year's best hunt.

  The huntsman's found a wolf and cubs. We'd be so delighted if...

  What I mean is you would enjoy it.

  Perhaps I'll join you later.

  - And stay to dinner? - Possibly.

  But you just said...

  - Shall I come now? - Wonderful!

  - I'm glad you stayed tonight. - So am I.

  - The Rostovs are charming, no? - Charming.

  It's wonderful to watch them together,

  like a race of handsome, healthy, thoughtless animals.

  - Thoughtless? - Their most charming characteristic.

  - All of them? - All of them.

  No.

  Within a year or two, Natasha will begin to think.

  It'll make her even more charming but less of a Rostov. Follow?

  I think so.

  Andrei, I think it's bad for you, it's wrong to stay down here,

  year after year, brooding, living the life of a hermit.

  Bad? Wrong?

  Only two things in this life are really wrong, Pierre,

  remorse and illness, and when I've recovered from them both,

  - I'll go out in the world again. - Why are you remorseful?

  I was too late.

  I let Lise die feeling unloved.

  I was too busy on the trail of glory to take the time to comfort my wife.

  Well, I found glory.

  I stopped the retreat of     men for five minutes.

  I was left for dead on a lost battlefield in a lost war.

  I'll stop being a hermit, when I can forget all those things.

  Well, I think I'd better go to bed now.

  Goodnight, Pierre.

  And thank you again.

  Goodnight, Andrei.

  - Natasha, come to bed, you'll catch cold! - I can't sleep.

  After a day like this, it's impossible to sleep.

  Come and see the moon. Look how glorious it is.

  - Sonya? - Yes?

  - Do you think Prince Andrei likes us? - Of course.

  He's so silent. It's as though he's passing judgement on us.

  - I'm frightened of him, aren't you? - No.

  I'm a little frightened, and yet I wanted to take him by the hand,

  look in his eyes and sing just for him.

  Poor man, he'd never come again if I'd done that.

  Did you notice he almost never smiles?

  While I was singing, I caught him looking at me.

  He was smiling then.

  And I felt... It's almost impossible to describe.

  I felt as if someone had given me the most enormous, beautiful present.

  - Come to bed, Natasha. - You try to spoil everything!

  On a night like this, I feel like hugging myself tight and flying away!

  - Take care, you'll fall. - All right.

  But it's a shame to go in on such a night.

  It's like hearing wonderful music,

  and you know it's going to be the most beautiful you've ever heard.

  And being pulled away and missing it for ever.

  - For ever. - Natasha!

  All right.

 - Nicholas, the expression on my face. - What about it?

 - Do I look disdainful? - No!

 - I'm sure I look disdainful. - What for?

 If I look disdainful, nobody will notice this is my first ever ball.

 - How's this? Better? - That's much better.

 Good.

 You must promise not to dance with me.

 - No! - No matter if no one says a word to me.

 - Promise not to dance with me. - Why?

 Because it would be humiliating if only my brother asks me to dance...

 ...out of pity.

 - Promise? - I promise.

 - Nicholas, is everybody looking at me? - Can't you see for yourself?

 Not without changing the expression on my face.

 - There's one awful thing about you. - Tell me! The whole truth!

 No girl I'll ever meet will be able to amuse me like you.

 Don't talk like that. Go and leave us to our fate.

 - Nicholas, look after your mother. - Comfortable, Mother?

 Yes, my darling.

  What a horrible mistake.

  I shouldn't have come.  Nothing is going to happen.

  The night is going to be one horrible,  black, degrading zero.

 Count Denilov, meet my family.

 Madame Maria Peronskaya. You know my wife.

 My niece, Sonya, and my daughter, Natasha.

 May I have the pleasure?

 Oh, dear.

 Perhaps I shall be more fortunate later on. I shall try again.

 - "Adieu." - "Au revoir."

 Denilov is our hostess' first cousin, worth millions!

 Second cousin, dear.

 Ah, there's the French ambassador! He looks as if he were a king.

 You're rather late, you know? Most of my dances are gone.

  Why must I keep thinking  of Prince Andrei?

  Am I so much in love with him  that all others seem ridiculous?

  We saw so little of each other,  and yet I remember every moment.

  If only he could have  brought me here tonight.

  Why doesn't he like the city?

  It isn't right for a man  to shut himself off as he does.

 I am so delighted to see you again.

 Will you honour me with this dance?

 - Pierre, nice to see you. - Pierre, my boy.

 Will you honour me with this dance?

 - Don't you just love dances? - Not ordinarily.

 - This is my first in two years. - I'm so glad you did come.

 I mean... Mama and Papa said it was nice for you to visit after the hunt...

 Tell them I intend to come and visit often.

 - Very often, if they'll permit me. - I shall tell them.

 On moonlit nights, do you still want to fly off to the moon?

 - Where did you hear? - My window was just below yours.

 What a disaster! You heard everything.

 No. You disappeared too soon.

 - You must think I'm an utter idiot. - No.

 I don't think you're an idiot. I think...

 Permit me. May I have the pleasure of this dance?

 Thank you.

  What a joy it is to dance with her.

  Like holding springtime in your arms.

  Like holding a branch of lilac,  or a kitten.

  Look at her now.

  If she looks back at me  and smiles on the next turn,

  she'll be my wife.

 Guide us with thine infinite wisdom...

 ...teach us to abide in thy mercy,

 and if it be thy will, let this bed be my grave.

 - I must talk to you just once more. - Well, well...

 It's about Prince Andrei, I suppose?

 Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday...

 Five days he hasn't been heard from.

 First, he comes to see me every day and quite turns my head,

 then nothing happens.

 Now, I'll tell you about myself when I was young.

 I had a cousin, a handsome young man.

 Yes, really handsome.

 I know. Cyril Matveich.

 - Must everything end up in nothing? - You're being impulsive.

 You must be patient. Very patient.

 Wait till a proper proposal has been made to you. He'll show up.

 The last time, his proposal was on the tip of his tongue.

 He seemed so in love.

 I'm always a little afraid in his presence. What does it mean?

 Does it mean that it's real love?

 - Are you asleep? - No, my pet.

 I'm a little frightened myself.

 - Now go. - All the same, I shan't sleep.

 Such a thing has never happened to me before.

 Could we ever have thought it last spring

 that we should meet at the ball? It must be fate.

 Clearly, it must be fate, if everything led up to this.

 Need one be ashamed of a widower?

 No, darling, pray to God. Marriages are made in heaven.

 Mama, how I love you. I'm so happy!

 Little Countess, are you asleep?

 Yes, dear, I'm asleep. Goodnight.

 Marry? Marry?

 As though life were not complicated enough as it is!

 In such a hurry! You thought you knew what you were doing last time!

 - This is completely different. - It always is!

 Before I met her, life was sad, meaningless, hopeless.

 When you're over thirty, a man's life should be sad and hopeless!

 - Father... - All right, all right.

 Let's be reasonable.

 Her family is nothing. Nothing, compared to the Bolkonskys.

 Her father was known to chase every woman in Moscow.

 Without success!

 Now that he's grown older,

 he's known to play in every card game in Moscow.

 Equally without success!

 They're a happy family. That's a success, too.

 Perhaps the greatest success.

 But you think you're being fair to the girl?

 You're much older than she. You have a son to bring up.

 Who'll take the responsibility? A little chit of a girl?

 I beg of you, put it off for just one year and go abroad.

 There's a peace mission to Prussia for the signing of a treaty.

 I know you wanted to go on the mission.

 After a year, if you still have this love or obstinacy, you marry her.

 That is my last word on the subject. It's my last word!

  Is it possible that I, Natasha, will be  the wife of this strange, dear man,

  whom even my father looks up to?

  Can it be true that there can be  no more playing with life?

  That on me now lies the responsibility  of my every word and deed?

 I have loved you from the first moment I saw you.

 - Do you love me? - Yes, yes!

 What is it? What's the matter?

 I'm so happy.

 - Did your mother explain? - There's nothing to explain.

 She told you it can't be for a year? You're young, I want you to be sure.

 - I am sure. - One year's not long and you'll be free.

 Lf, within that year, you find you don't love me...

 Don't say anything like that again!

 - A year? I'm not going to see you? - Of course.

 - I must go to Poland for a few months. - Is there nothing that can be done?

 It's awful, I'll die waiting a year! It's impossible, it's...!

 No. I'll do anything, whatever you say.

 We have the rest of our lives!

  At Tilsit in Prussia,  on June   th     

  Napoleon met with  Emperor Alexander of Russia,

  for the purpose  of discussing a treaty of peace.

  They can't help liking me.

  I'm so willing  to do anything they wish.

  So ready to be fond of him  for being his father.

 - I'm Mary Bolkonsky. - Charmed. My daughter, Natasha.

 - How do you do? - Good afternoon.

 Excuse my father. He's not well and asks me to welcome you.

 Some tea?

 - That would be... - No, thank you.

 No, thank you.

 I suppose you've heard from Andrei?

 Yes.

 Father!

 You're the young Countess Rostov.

 I didn't know you were paying me a visit.

 Excuse my costume, I came to speak to Mary.

 Why wasn't I told?

 Count Rostov? I've heard a great deal about you, a great deal about you.

 As the Lord is my witness, nobody told me they were here.

 This house, utter confusion, chaos! People coming and going.

 You can't find anything. Even the papers in my desk.

 You must excuse me.

 I'm not prepared to entertain.

 I can't stand Moscow, anyhow.

 I wouldn't be here, except I've no alternative. I'm forced to be here.

 We'd better leave now. Princess.

 Wait, I must talk to you.

 Dear Natasha, I'm certain my brother has found happiness.

 Princess, I think it is not convenient to speak of that now.

 Isn't it wonderful? Aren't you glad you came?

 Until Andrei comes back, I can't be glad about anything.

 It's only a few weeks.

 - You see that tall man over there? - What about him?

 When we passed, I heard him say, "That's the Countess Rostov.

 "The one who's going to marry Bolkonsky. Lucky man."

 - He said, "Lucky man"? - "Lucky man."

 I must write that to Andrei. He can tell his horrible father.

 - Countess Bezukhov has arrived. - Bezukhov?

 One of my favourites! I must call on her.

 Countess Bezukhov, I'm delighted to see you back in Moscow.

 The city hasn't been the same in your absence.

 I've brought my two girls with me, as you can see.

 Well...

 Magnificent woman!

 You can understand how men must fall in love with her.

 Dolokhov, see the girl in that box?

 Yes, she's lovely, but...

 ...for you? No, Anatole, she's not exactly your type.

 May I borrow your daughter to sit with me in the next act?

 Countess, how charming. Natasha, come along.

 - Isn't it exciting? - Yes.

 Enchanting! You mustn't bury her in the country again.

 You're too kind. Natasha, sit down.

 Now we can tear all our friends to pieces.

 No one in the theatre is talking of anyone but you and your match.

 - You know? - It's the news of the season.

 Prince Andrei Bolkonsky!

 Every woman here is jealous of you at this moment.

 Why, Anatole!

 May I present my brother? Countess Natasha Rostov.

 He's the centre of fashion in Moscow.

 He drinks too much and plays for too high stakes.

 He also sees the most amusing people.

 Get him to tell you everything to do this season.

 - Countess! - You've been neglecting me.

 I was convinced you were dead.

 When I saw you at the ball, six weeks ago,

 I thought, "What a pretty girl." That's all I thought.

 But tonight...

 - But you felt it, too? - I felt...?

 When our eyes met. Don't look guilty. What's there to be ashamed of?

 Are you enjoying the opera? It's very good, isn't it?

 Oh, is it? I haven't noticed.

 I haven't looked at the stage tonight.

 I must see you again. You must come to my sister's house.

 Very soon.

 I think...

 My mother's in the country, I may go up to be with her.

 She's enchanting.

 - Go away, Anatole, you'll distract us. - All right, all right.

 You'll come.

 I'll take this as a pledge.

 My brother is very amusing, isn't he?

 Bravo, bravo!

 How lovely she is.

 I don't think so when I look at you.

 Natasha, come!

 - Did you enjoy it? - Yes, thank you.

 You're enchanting.

 From the moment I saw you, I never ceased worshipping you.

 - I hope you don't think us too informal. - Oh, Countess, well...

 I'm madly in love with you.

 - Papa, we must leave. - We can't go now.

 ...like one big heart, palpitating with emotion.

 His Majesty the King was so moved, tears came streaming down his face...

 My cloak, please.

 I can't. You know I can't.

  "Dearest Natasha, my fate has been  sealed, to be loved by you or die.

  "Your parents won't give you to me  for reasons I will reveal only to you.

  "But if you love me,  you need only say the word yes.

  "Anatole."

 You're back.

 How was your evening? Did you amuse yourself?

 Yes. I made excuses for you.

 I was worried about you. How's your headache?

 - You read that letter. - Yes.

 I'm glad. I couldn't keep it from you any longer.

 - "You know we love one another." - But Anatole Kuragin?

 - How happy I am. - And Andrei?

 You don't know what love is. You don't understand. Listen.

 How can you love a man for months and suddenly...? Why?

 You've only seen Anatole three times.

 It seems to me I've never loved anyone before.

 I've heard it's happened that way. It's only now I feel such love.

 I felt he was my master and I his slave and I couldn't help loving him.

 Yes, whatever he commands, I must do. What can I do?

 If he loves you, why doesn't he ask your father honestly

 for your engagement to be broken off?

 - Why all this secrecy? - It doesn't matter.

 Whatever his reasons, they are good ones.

 - I have no will, I love him. - I won't let it come to that.

 I shall tell.

 You wouldn't tell anyone. Don't torture me, I can't live without him!

 What are you saying? Think about your father and Nicholas.

 I don't love anyone but him.

 Go, Sonya.

 I don't want to quarrel with you. Go away!

 Anatole, where do you mean to take her?

 They'll find out about that Polish girl you had to marry. It'll mean jail.

 It will be worth it. Even if it is for one month or one week with that girl.

 Some things in life are impossible not to have.

 - The driver you sent for. - A drink. You have to drive far.

 - Get Metrevna to bring my cloak. - A gypsy girl again?

 - An elopement. - I like it. Romance, excitement!

 There is a priest waiting. Don't let anyone stop you.

 There's a man for you!

 - You want me? - Now, take this. Listen to me.

 The girl will be shivering, she'll have forgotten everything.

 Wrap her up, or she'll stampede back to the house for furs.

 Papa awakened, Mama screaming, tears, recriminations, challenges!

 Always keep a young girl warm, my boy.

 Up with the collar and whoosh!

 - Take it. - But my coat.

 I will get you another one someday.

 All take glasses!

 Now, comrade and friend of my youth,

 we've had our fling and revelled, now farewell.

 - To your health. - To your health!

 - How sad it is. - Sure.

 - I still think you shouldn't do it. - So do I.

 Sonya? Sonya!

 No, I won't open it. And I've sent for Pierre.

 I'll hate you for ever for this. Open the door.

 No, I won't open it.

 - What's the matter with you? - Your sister can't keep things quiet.

 - Things such as gossip. - What?

 I know all about the money you had to send to Poland and why.

 - It's not true. - You must leave Moscow.

 Don't tell anyone. Besides your pleasure, there's others' happiness.

 You'll ruin a whole life for your amusement.

 Then amuse yourself with women of your own rotten breed.

 As a man of honour, you can't talk to me that way.

 - Is it satisfaction you want? - Yes.

 I take it back. I'd take it back, I'd beg you for forgiveness.

 Drive this gentleman wherever he wants to go.

 He's gone.

 She's in her room.

 - What are you doing here? - I came to stop you.

 - Nothing will stop me. - What do you plan to tell Andrei?

 - I wrote to him telling him everything. - He's not good enough for you?

 You crawl after a gambler, a liar, and a notorious womaniser!

 I'm going to marry him!

 Whatever he's told you, he's lying. He's married already.

 It isn't true.

 Look at me, Natasha.

 Could I purposely deceive you?

 - The rumour's all over Moscow. - Who started it?

 Prince Andrei has sent back all her letters.

 - That's bad. I am sorry. - She's been quite ill.

 When she knew you were coming, she insisted upon getting up.

 Don't tell her everything. One hasn't the heart to scold her. She's to be pitied.

 I hear he's in Moscow now.

 Ask him...

 - Ask him to forgive me. - I will tell him, but...

 I know that can never be.

 All is over.

 Only I'm so tormented by the wrong I've done him.

 Tell him...

 Tell him I beg him to forgive... forgive me for everything.

 I will tell him everything.

 But remember I'm your friend.

 If you want help or to open your heart to someone,

 not now, but when your mind is clearer, think of me.

 - I shall be happy if it's in my power. - I'm not worth it.

 No. You have your whole life ahead of you.

 Ahead of me? No. All is over.

 Nonsense, Natasha. Listen to me, look.

 Were I not myself, but the handsomest, cleverest man in the world,

 and if I were free,

 I would not hesitate for one moment to ask for your hand and your love.

 - It's not cold, Mishka. - It must be well below zero.

 - Wonderful. - Where to?

 Where? I don't know, Mishka.

 Are you looking at the comet, sir? They say it means war and famine.

 - All sorts of woes. - Nonsense. Life is beautiful. Go!

 - Where to? The club? - No.

 - Home? - No. Just go, Mishka!

 "If Your Majesty wishes to avoid shedding our people's blood

 "and consents to the withdrawal of Your Majesty's troops,

 "I will forget what has happened and agreement will be possible.

 "Otherwise, I shall be forced to repel an aggression

 "that has been totally unprovoked by me.

 "The decision whether to preserve humanity from the disasters of war

 "lies in Your Majesty's hands.

 "I am, et cetera, Alexander."

 So... this letter is very polite. Very eloquent.

 And it is full of fraternal expressions of devotion from your Czar.

 Sentiments, which, I assure you, are reciprocated by me.

 - However, in essence, Colonel... - Bolkonsky.

 ...Bolkonsky, what does this letter express?

 It is not for me, as a mere messenger, to express the wishes of the Czar.

 Come, come, my dear fellow, you must have an opinion. What...?

 Where? Where have we met before? Your face is familiar to me.

 On the field at Austerlitz, sire.

 Austerlitz... Austerlitz...?

 Yes, I do remember.

 You were lying with a banner in your hand.

 Yes, sire.

 I thought you were dead!

 Well, well, here you are again. I'm glad to see you.

 Now, Colonel, this letter, what do you think it represents?

 It can only represent the Czar's sincere wish to avoid war

 and to prevent the shedding of both Russian and French blood.

 A praiseworthy aim, and one in which I completely concur.

 However, what else would you say was in this letter?

 Since you press me, sire, for a personal opinion, I would say

 it is a request for the withdrawal of your troops from our country.

 A personal opinion! That's how the Czar told his messenger to put it.

 You personally say withdrawal, do you? Say retreat!

 I'm a soldier and I use soldiers' words. I am not a fool!

 I've been asked to put my head into a noose while my enemies conspire!

 Sire, it is not my opinion when I say the Czar is not your enemy

 and that he is not conspiring against you.

 If you read his letter carefully...

 I will read the letter more carefully

 and send the Czar my answer later.

 Goodnight to you, Colonel.

 Gentlemen, tomorrow at dawn we cross the Neman into Russia.

 We'll talk of peace... in Moscow!

  And on   th June     

  Napoleon Bonaparte, at the head  of an army of        men,

  crossed the River Neman into Russia.

  To combat this aggressive invasion  of their homeland,

  the Russians welcomed the French  with a destroyed storehouse,

  a widely desolated land.

 Looting, burning!

 As soon as Napoleon approaches, the peasants run off with their grain.

 What they can't take with them they burn.

 If we don't put a stop to it somewhere, it'll be a desert, a scorched earth!

 We must fight. The army demands it, the Czar demands it.

 And the people demand it!

 What does the army want? To be destroyed?

 Because that would be what would happen if we fought now.

 Does the Czar want to be brought to his knees?

 Because that would be what would happen if we fought now.

 What do the people want? To be the subjects of Napoleon?

 Because that would be what would happen if we fought now.

 Gentlemen, I have been put in command

 to give the army, the Czar and the people what they want.

 And what they want is to drive the last Frenchman from the soil of Russia!

 And that I propose to do when I can.

 - But the looting and the burning... - Let it continue!

 Let it increase!

 - Soon they'll be at our gates! - We'll stop him!

 - They should call up more men! - Kutuzov is afraid!

 - He's a doddering idiot! - What's wrong with the Emperor?

 We will show Europe how Russia rises in defence...

 "Lord God, hear us when we pray to Thee.

 "Strengthen with Thy might our most gracious sovereign,

 "Emperor Alexander Pavlovich,

 "and give him victory over his enemy, as Thou gavest Moses victory,

 "Gideon over Mideon, David over Goliath.

 "Smite down our enemies and destroy them swiftly

 "beneath the feet of Thy faithful servants.

 "Preserve our army, give a bow of brass to those armed in Thy name

 "and gird their loins with strength for the fight.

 "Take up the spear and shield and arise to help us.

 "Confound those who have devised evil against us.

 "May they be, before the faces of Thy warriors, as dust before the wind.

 "May Thy mighty angel confound them and put them to flight.

 "Let them fall before Thy servants' feet

 "and be laid low by our host."

 I came to say goodbye. I'm leaving Moscow today.

 - Where are you going? - To the army to fight Napoleon.

 You're going to join up finally?

 I don't know...

 I have to see what it's like, what it means for myself.

 Prince Andrei is in command of a regiment. I'll find him.

 - When did you decide to do this? - A long time ago.

 - Even you, Pierre? - You will stay to dinner?

 - By all means. - To say goodbye.

 That's good. Come along.

 - Lots of my school friends are going. - You must study.

 - Every man is needed. - Every man not every infant!

 I can't study when our fatherland is in danger.

 Be quiet!

 - You heard from Andrei. - Yes, one letter.

 Did he...?

 How is he?

 Well enough, but sad. His father died.

 I know. Although his father was my enemy, I prayed for him.

 He was the first person in the world to disapprove of me.

 You're not really grown-up until that happens to you.

 Did Andrei say anything about me in his letter?

 No, Natasha.

 Will he ever forgive me?

 He has nothing to forgive.

 - You must promise me something. - Yes.

 Don't let anything happen to you.

 If it did, I'd...

 Did you hear me, Pierre?

 Yes, I heard you.

 I promise.

 - And Pierre... - Yes.

 If you do see Andrei, tell him...

 Tell him I prayed for the soul of his father.

 Can you tell me where I'll find Colonel Bolkonsky?

 This gentleman's been asking to see you.

 Pierre!

 Andrei!

 - At last. - What are you doing here?

 It's still hard to say. I came to see the battle.

 Why?

 It's hard to explain, Andrei. It's such an enormous event.

 Our lives will be different because of what will happen here tomorrow.

 - I'm sorry about your father's death. - He was an old man.

 He couldn't live with the thought of being driven away.

 How are they taking it in Moscow?

 Mary has gone to your aunt's.

 It was Nicholas Rostov who got her out just in time.

 So Anatole Kuragin did not honour Countess Rostov with his hand.

 He couldn't. He was married already.

 It was all very long ago. She's had time to forget her disappointment.

 - Remember our old discussion...? - Yes.

 I said a fallen woman should be forgiven. But I can't forgive her.

 But you can't compare Natasha to a fallen woman.

 What romantic dreams I had.

 You mean, ask for her hand again? Yes, that would be very noble.

 But...

 I'm sorry.

 How are you? You seem so strange, disturbed.

 The night before a battle is fought, men are likely to seem disturbed.

 It's more than that.

 Perhaps it is.

 I've been in many battles, but for the first time I feel I'll die tomorrow.

 - Nonsense. Why? - I just feel it.

 Why are you really here, Pierre, when you hate violence and war?

 I don't know.

 Because I realised you can't hate something you've never known.

 How will the battle go? Our position's good.

 Success never depends on positions, orders, plans or even on numbers.

 A battle is won by men determined to win it.

 Despite those men at headquarters who consider war a game,

 war is the most horrible thing in life, and I'd never take prisoners.

 The French are my enemies, they destroyed my home,

 exiled my sister and my child.

 Now they hope to destroy Moscow. Taking prisoners is playing at war.

 Take no prisoners! Kill and be killed!

 Without playing at war, we'd fight only when it was certain death, as now.

 I'm sorry. Why should I burden you with all this?

 If we're both alive tomorrow night, we'll have a bottle and laugh.

 Forgive me, you're sleepy. Time for me to sleep, too.

 I'd like to stay here.

 Go. Go! I have no time for you now.

 My only friends now are the men who'll fight at my side tomorrow.

 Goodbye.

 Whether we meet again or not.

 Take down a proclamation to all troops.

 Soldiers, this is the battle you have all longed for.

 Victory depends on you. It will give us all we need.

 And a speedy return to our country.

 Act as you did at Austerlitz, Friedland, Vitebsk and Smolensk!

 Let posterity say with pride of each of you,

 "He was in the great battle before Moscow."

 - What is Paris saying? - All Paris regrets your absence.

 I should say they do. What's in there?

 - A surprise. - What's that?

 A present from the Empress for Your Majesty.

 My son.

 The King of Rome.

 Admirable.

 Take him away, De Beausset.

 It is too soon for him to see a field of battle.

 Follow me, De Beausset!

 You must not leave. Stay and we'll give you something to tell Paris!

 Fire!

 There's a lot of wind up there. It's made of iron!

 Get down or next time it won't be your hat that blows off.

 - Excuse me. I didn't realise. - Number   you're too slow!

 Ready, fire!

 You can't stand here, you're in the way.

 I'll try to keep out of everybody's way.

 Up with your sights, you're firing low. Number   quicker with the charges!

 - You're not afraid? - Are you?

 They have no mercy, when they come singing over. Heaven help us.

 Ready. Fire!

 - Having a pleasant morning, sir? - Interesting morning.

 Interesting? You hear that, mates? Interesting!

 - Here comes a live one! - Not this way. Towards the infantry!

 Found your friend, eh? Know him well?

 Beyond the trees, the French infantry are advancing en masse.

 - Hold your fire! - Hold your fire!

 Lower your sights and wait for the order to fire!

 Fire!

 Sire, our infantry regiments have turned back and are retreating.

 The cavalry should have gone first to clear the way. Send them now!

 - There's only four more charges, sir. - Bring up more.

 I'll go, too.

 Water.

 Take me to a dressing station. Help me.

 Doctor, he needs help.

 - How far have you carried him? - I don't know.

 You should have saved yourself the trouble. He's dead.

 Damn you, Napoleon.

 Damn you to hell!

 Well, we've stood our ground.

 We've taken the worst that Napoleon has to offer.

 We must attack tomorrow morning. You agree, sir?

 Yes, I agree. Theoretically.

 According to all the rules that we've ever learned about warfare,

 we must attack tomorrow morning, but we cannot attack.

 - We're too exhausted to attack. - But if we retreat...

 We give the ground to the enemy. But he has paid too high a price for it.

 He will bleed to death from this victory.

 But we can't make a stand before Moscow.

 Yes, General, you're right.

 You mean to abandon Russia's ancient and sacred capital?

 Russia's ancient and sacred capital.

 Let me tell you, that question has no meaning for a Russian.

 Such a question cannot be put. It's senseless!

 The question I've asked you to discuss is a military one!

 The question is of saving Russia.

 Do we give up Moscow or accept battle and lose the army and Moscow?

 Well, I see I am the one who has to pay for the broken crockery.

 Gentlemen, I've heard your views. Some of you will not agree with me.

 But I, by the authority entrusted to me by my sovereign and country...

 ...order a retreat.

 Oh, faster! The French will be here before we're ready to leave.

 Now, come on, up!

 Put all the glass things in the front wagons.

 And the books... put them in the low wagons.

 Take this and this. And these gloves. I'll never wear them again.

 Thank you.

 They are the wounded from Borodino.

 Vera, hurry!

 Vera, come!

 Give me some water.

 - Have you seen the wounded men? - Yes. I said they can live here.

 Someone badly wounded?

 Just about alive. It's a miracle His Excellency has lasted this long.

 - His Excellency? - Our colonel.

 Miss Sonya.

 Don't tell anyone about this. Not yet. Promise me.

 Aunt, Prince Andrei is here, among the wounded.

 - Andrei? - He's unconscious, terribly wounded.

 - Natasha? - She doesn't know.

 - She mustn't know. - He's dying.

 Natasha must not know.

 All right, get those wagons moving. Turn them around!

 We've got another load of wounded back there!

 After we've left and the wounded are here, what then?

 I don't know. My orders are to get back and pick up more wounded.

 They're to be left here, deserted, to be taken prisoner, to die?

 - That's in other hands than ours. - Take those chairs down.

 - That's enough. Put it down. - Papa, we can't do this.

 - Oh, the settee... - The three men will become prisoners.

 What three men?

 But of course. If we leave the settee, what will happen to your mother?

 - I'll speak to Mother. - Back in!

 You three are to come with us on that cart.

 - Your men must use my house. - Count, please help.

 - Is there a cart for this poor fellow? - Of course.

 Hurry, hurry!

 - All those men, Papa. - I know, it's very sad.

 - Still, in a war... - We must take them with us.

 We're going to unload everything and take every man who can travel.

 You're right. So very right.

 Take those back. Put that down.

 Unload all the carts. Do as you're told!

 - Tell your men there's room for all. - Thank you, sir.

 Take those off!

 Take this off, take it all down. Unload the cart.

 Unload this cart completely. Overboard with that.

 Take all that down!

 Take down that table, we don't need it.

 Empty the cart straight away. All this out. Come and help!

 Llya, what is this? They're unloading everything.

 - To make room for the wounded. - But our things!

 Things! Things can be bought. Think what it means to be left behind.

 The government ought to care for the wounded.

 Mama, you can't object. Look at them.

 You'd leave them behind to save some furniture? Mama!

 Suppose Nicholas was one of them. Or Petya.

 Nicholas? Petya?

 Of course, you're right, darling. I'm sorry, llya.

 The chicks are teaching the hen!

 Ten more minutes! We leave in ten minutes!

 - I'm ready now, llya. - Come along, girls, in you get.

 - In God's name, off. - In God's name, off!

 Dear Moscow, everybody's leaving you.

 - Look! Over there by the corner! - Who is it?

 Pierre! Over here! Pierre!

 Over here, Pierre!

 You're safe. You promised you'd come back and you have.

 You mustn't stay. Come with us.

 - Did you see the battle, Pierre? - Yes, I saw it. I saw too much.

 - Come with us. - I must stay in the city, I've...

 - Stop the coach! ...something I must do.

 Go on!

 Remember me. Remember!

 Why wouldn't he come with us?

 I don't understand.

 - Natasha... - Sonya!

 You're crying. For Pierre?

 For us, because we're leaving? What, then?

 - I have to tell her. - No.

 There's someone we know among the wounded.

 Andrei?

 He's travelling with us now.

 Is he badly hurt? Why didn't you tell me before?

 I didn't know how to tell you.

 He told you not to tell me.

 No. He's asleep or unconscious. He didn't speak.

 He didn't speak?

 Moscow!

 Asiatic city of innumerable churches.

 Lots of them.

 Moscow the holy, here at my feet.

 At last!

 On the ancient monuments of barbarism and despotism,

 I shall inscribe great words of justice and mercy. Mercy.

 What a splendid reign the Emperor Alexander's... might have been.

 Now, I'm ready to accept the surrender of the city. Now.

 Well, where is the deputation?

 There is no one, sire.

 The city is empty, half of it on fire.

 There is no government.

 No one to surrender to you.

 That's impossible.

 Impossible and ridiculous!

 There must be a surrender.

 This is an insult!

 They're going to pay for this.

 The skyline, look. It's a village on fire.

 - It could be Mytishchi. - It's further away than that.

 - Moscow's on fire! - It's so windy and dry.

 Moscow! God have mercy.

 Oh, it's Moscow, poor Moscow.

 Natasha, Sonya, come and look. Moscow's on fire.

 Moscow? Oh, no!

 How terrible!

 - Natasha! - Let's go back to bed.

 - I must talk to you. - Again?

 - Go back to bed. - Give me permission to join the army.

 You already know it. It's no.

 I must go where I can do the most good for my country.

 Your duty now is not what you think. Your duty is to stay with us.

 I'm sorry, Papa. I've already made up my mind.

 Do look. The whole city's on fire. You can see it from the window.

 - You didn't even look. - Yes. Really, I did.

 Go back to sleep. You'll catch your death of cold.

 You, too, Natasha, darling. Go to sleep.

 - Is it the French or us burning the city? - Who knows?

 Please, your officers, where are they?

 Officers, Miss?

 I don't know. Down there somewhere.

 Forgive me, forgive me.

 I love you.

 Forgive me.

 Forgive what?

 For everything I have done.

 I love you more. Better than before.

 - I want all these fires put out. - Yes, sire.

 Let me go! Take your hands off me!

 No!

 Let me go!

 - Where did he come from? - I don't know.

 Ready!

 Aim!

 Fire!

 Cut them down!

 - Two others, quickly! - No, no! Help me! Please!

 Please don't let them! No!

 No! No!

 Please! No!

 No!

 No, please!

 Ready!

 Aim!

 Fire!

 Cut them down!

 No, that's all.

 The orders were to shoot only the incendiaries.

 Take them back to prison.

 Forward march!

 Don't brood. It's not for us to judge whether we're to be spared or not.

 Finally, in the world to come, God will give us a word of explanation.

 Here you are. Come here, boy. You found me again, eh?

 That's the little fella. That's right. Sit down there, be a good boy.

 Do you like cold potatoes? At dinner the potatoes were delicious.

 Here you are, boy.

 Perhaps you'd like some salt.

 - That's better now, huh? - I'm all right.

 - Why did they have to shoot them? - What a sin. What a sin.

 Where there's law, there's injustice.

 Come on, boy, get up.

 But the maggot eats the cabbage yet dies first.

 What?

 Things happen not as we plan, but as God judges.

 Have you got a family estate, sir? A housewife?

 Your old parents, are they still living?

 Perhaps you've got little ones?

 Never mind, you're young yet and may have some still.

 The great thing is to live in harmony.

 Well, I was still living at home, you know?

 We had a well-to-do homestead, a nice piece of land,

 and a house you'd thank God for.

 When we went mowing, we were seven. Real peasants.

 Well, one day, I went into someone else's forest to cut wood.

 The keeper found me, I was flogged and sent to serve as a soldier.

 We thought that was a misfortune, but it turned out to be a blessing.

 If I hadn't sinned, my brother would've gone and he's got five little ones.

 Whereas I only had a wife to leave.

 We had a little girl, but God took her before I left.

 You've had hard luck.

 We can make it into misery or into joy.

 Hard luck's like water in a dragnet, you pull and it bulges.

 But when you've drawn it out, there's nothing in it.

 That's how it is, dear boy.

 Now I think it's time to sleep.

 Lord Jesus Christ, Holy Saint Nicholas, Frola and Lavra have mercy upon us.

 That's the way.

 Lay me down like a stone and raise me up like a loaf.

 - What prayer was that? - I was praying. Don't you pray?

 Yes. But what did you say? Frola and Lavra?

 The horse's saints. One must pity the animals, too.

 Come over here. Get warm and lie down.

 That's right.

 - I thought you were asleep. - No. I was watching you.

 Enjoying you. Being thankful for you.

 - Sleep, my dearest. - No, not yet.

 I want to keep my eyes open. I want to look at you.

 You know, you're not the girl I saw dancing all night.

 The girl who whispered on the balcony to the moon.

 You're something much better.

 How serene you are. How valuable.

 I love you so much.

 It's a terrible thing. Only at a moment like this can one talk so openly.

 Until now, I knew nothing about love.

 I was a great hater, Natasha.

 I hated so many things, but most of all I hated you.

 You had every right.

 I love you more than I've ever loved anything on this earth.

 Maybe this monastery has something to do with it.

 Maybe the monks really know about love.

 Now I'm beginning to understand, too.

 Maybe death is my private monastery.

 Where is he? Can I see him?

 - Of course. But is that his son? - Yes.

 - And he's called...? - Kolya.

 What a lovely boy.

 - Where is he? - We've sent to ask.

 You must be tired, Princess. We've prepared rooms for you.

 - Where is Petya? - He left. We couldn't control him.

 He kept on about going into the army until we just had to let him go.

 The war will probably be over before he gets his commission.

 - Did you receive my letter? - Yes, that was a good piece of news.

 - You and Mary. - I'm worried about Sonya.

 - It's all right, I told her immediately. - But I wanted to tell her myself.

 - Mary. - Will you stay with us, little man?

 Now, my dear...

 Come with me, Mary.

 Nicholas, you come along.

 - Nicholas, I've read your letter. - I know.

 She's a fine woman, isn't she?

 - If you want to, Nicholas, you're free. - Forgive me, Sonya.

 Natasha, no one will tell me anything.

 How is his wound, his condition? What did the doctor say?

 Is he worse?

 - Andrei. - Hello, Mary.

 How did you manage to get here? Have you brought little Kolya?

 - How are you now? - You must ask the doctor.

 You see how strangely fate has brought us together?

 - She looks after me all the time. - Mary came from Ryazan.

 - You've missed Count Nicholas? - Yes.

 He took a great liking to you. It would be a good thing to marry him.

 Why talk of me, Andrei?

 Would you like to see Kolya? He's outside.

 I'd be very glad to see him.

 Is it too much for you, all this talking?

 No. I want to tell Mary so many things but I'm unable to.

 Kiss him, Kolya. Kiss your father.

 Kolya...

 ...no one is permitted to cry in this room.

 Not children and not grown-ups either.

 I think you'd better go out and play now.

 He's a handsome little boy.

 What is it, Mary? Is it about the child?

 You know the gospel.

 "The fouls of the air sow not, nor reap, yet your father feedeth them."

 That's why you mustn't cry.

 Come sit beside me.

 The hardest thing is to keep alive at sunset.

 I had a wonderful dream.

 I saw a door. I could see beyond it.

 I dreamt that I died.

 And as I died, I awoke.

 Yes...

 ...death is an awakening, you see?

 It's all so simple.

 Is it over?

 Where is he now?

 Where has he gone?

 What is this? What is this?

 We are masters of the capital of the largest country in the world,

 not a single civilian mouth to feed and I get these reports!

 "The stocks are dwindling, food is disappearing,

 "the danger point is approaching." Who writes out these reports?

 Who is taking steps to correct them?

 I brought the greatest army in Europe into this city.

 What do I see? A mob of looters and drunkards.

 They are not soldiers any more!

 They are rag-pickers. Junk men!

 Kutuzov must have sent emissaries to ask for the terms of surrender.

 What happened? Are they detained? Shot?

 Sire, I myself have given explicit instructions to all the commanders.

 There have been no emissaries from the Russian Commander-in-Chief.

 The city's burning down around our ears. House by house!

 I've given orders to shoot incendiaries and even here, you cannot...

 ...cannot get the stink of smoke out of your nostrils!

 Gentlemen, take hold or I promise you I will replace you all!

 With all your titles and decorations and batons!

 I'll go and pick the first soldiers I find who are not drunk...

 ...and put them in your place!

 I warn you, gentlemen, I cannot sit here much longer,

 watching my army decay.

 Close the windows, someone!

  Already the wild geese  are flying south.

  What if we are trapped here  through winter?

 Time and patience, patience and time.

 The grand army's wounded,

 but is it mortally wounded?

 An apple should not be plucked while it's green.

 Patience and time.

 Yes? Who is it? Come in!

 A special courier, Your Excellency.

 Excellency, the French are preparing to leave Moscow.

 Come closer.

 Excellency, would you like me to...?

 O Lord, my creator.

 Thou hast heard our prayer.

 Russia is saved!

 I thank Thee, O Lord.

 Russian women.

 They're the lice that live on the conquerors.

 They have to leave with them or die.

 Attack.

 The word "attack" is always on your tongues.

 Gentlemen, they came into our country like locusts,

 leaving nothing behind, food nor shelter.

 Now they are going back the way they came, through the desolation.

 A cold, hungry army,      miles from home,

 doing what every Russian wants,

 leaving our country with all possible speed.

 The country is destroying them.

 And the Russian army? Since Borodino, we've been in retreat.

 - Now, it must attack! - For what?

 I wouldn't give one Russian soldier for ten Frenchmen!

 Those retreats...

 ...they've brought about the destruction of the French army.

 And will bring about the liberation of our country.

 The animal is running. We will follow it...

 ...and flick its haunches with whips to encourage it to keep moving.

 We will follow it to the borders of our country.

 We will offer the French a golden bridge to the West.

 Get moving, there! Get moving!

 All stragglers will be shot!

 Get up.

 Get up! Keep moving! Get up!

 Come on, get into line.

 - Get up! Come on, get up! - I can't.

 Get up. Now!

 Please...

 All right.

        ...

 ...     ...

 Get up!

 Get moving!

 Clear the road! Out of the way!

 Stand aside! Out of the way!

 Move on.

 Move on! Keep moving!

 - Move on. Move on! - One, two, three...

 What are you counting all the time?

 I count to a thousand and start again to keep my feet going.

 You've never needed them before, have you?

 Gentlemen ride in carriages or on horseback.

 I've lived my whole life on foot and yet you outlast me.

 Start again. One, two...

 ...        ...

 Get up!

 Come on, keep moving!

 Are you afraid, too, friend?

 One, two, three, four, five...

 Halt! Who are you?

 Ensign Rostov. I have a dispatch from the Commander-in-Chief.

 Come, then.

 - How did you find us? - Peasants in the village told me.

 - Dragoons? - Yes, sir.

 - How many infantrymen? - Maybe    .

 - Or    ? - Yes, sir. Perhaps    .

 Perhaps? Get out before I lose my temper! Out!

 - When was he captured? - Last night. We won't keep him long.

 I usually do not take prisoners.

 - What is this dispatch? - It's my general's dispatch, sir.

 - Who are you? - Rostov.

 - You have a brother, Nicholas? - Yes. You know him?

 Yes.

 "All patrols are to fall back immediately to join the main army.

 "Prepare for a general attack

 "when the French attempt to cross the Beresina River."

 Rostov, you didn't find me to give me this till tomorrow.

 Why, sir?

 Those French stragglers, I'll attack them tomorrow. One last fight.

 Let me come. I'll say I didn't find you, if you let me fight.

 - No, no! - Let me come.

 It's a bargain. But keep out of trouble or I'll be in trouble with the General.

 Thank you.

 Go and eat something.

 Now, I will move in through the forest.

 You go to the other side of the valley and attack at my signal.

 - Right. Any reserves? - None.

 This is our last fight, and we'll hold back nothing.

 - Ensign. You want some? - Thank you.

 Hungry? Have this.

 Thank you very much.

 Stay behind me at all times.

 Charge!

 The Cossacks! The Cossacks!

 You must've wished you'd killed me in that stupid duel.

 You probably haven't heard that Hélene died in St Petersburg.

 Finally, I want to ask you to forgive me for the harm I did you.

 Halt!

 Take them away. You know what to do with them.

 He wouldn't stay behind.

 It was a game for him.

 His sabre was a toy.

 I never take prisoners!

 Stand by your guns!

 Stand by your guns!

 Fire!

 Yes, burn them.

 - Hurrah, lads! - Hurrah!

 Hurrah! Hurrah!

 I thank you all for your hard and faithful service.

 The victory is complete, and Russia will not forget you!

 Honour to you for ever!

 Hurrah! Hurrah!

 Well, shall we see what's happened to the rest of the house?

 Come on, Mary.

 Sonya, see what the kitchen's like. Prokofy, you might find some tea.

 - Will you look in the cellar? - Very well.

 Mama, Papa! The north wing is just as it was!

 Nothing's happened. We have a house. Half a house!

 Isn't it wonderful? Mama, you can come and rest.

 We're home.

 Dunyasha, make Mama a cold compress.

 Take this footstool. She always liked that.

 The baby can go in my room. Up you go! There.

 I hope we find a bottle of port.

 You see, Mary? You'll have a born optimist as a father-in-law.

  I have loved you  from the first moment I saw you.

  Hurry up, Nicholas! You're delaying  the trip to the country!

 Pierre!

 We were so worried when we heard you were taken prisoner.

 You've come back.

 You're like this house.

 You suffer, you show your wounds, but you stand.

2017-01-13 17:37:30 UTC

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.\

You wanna kill each other?Kill each other. But you ain't gonna do iton my beat. - Are there any questions?- Yes, sir. Would you mindtranslating that into Spanish? Get your friendsout of here, Bernardo... and stay out. Please. Okay, Sharks. Boy, oh, boy, as if this neighborhoodwasn't crummy enough. Now, look, fellas.Fellas? Look, let's be reasonable. lf l don't get a littlelaw and order around here... l get busted downto a traffic corner... and your frienddon't like traffic corners. So that means you're gonna startmakin' nice with the P.R.s from now on. l said nice, get it? 'Cause if you don't... and l catch any of you doin'any more brawlin' in my territory... l'm gonna personally beat the livingcrud out of every one of you... and see that you go to the canand rot there. Say good-byeto the nice boys, Krupke. Good-bye, boys. Jail? Gee. - You hoodlums don't own the streets.- Go play in the park. - Keep off of the grass.- Get out of the house. - Keep off the block.- Keep off the world. A gang that don't own the streetis nothin'. - That's it.- We do own it! Jets, round out. Not you, Anybodys.Beat it. Riff, you gottalet me in the gang. Didn't you just see me?l was smash. l'm a killer.l wanna fight. How else is she gonnaget a guy to touch her? - You dirty rat!- The road, little girl, the road. Beat it. Okay, come on. Now listen. We fought hard for this turf,and we ain't just gonna give it up. The Emeralds claimed it,and we shut 'em out. The Hawks tried to take it away,and we knocked 'em down the cellar. - Yeah, but these P.R.s are different.- They multiply. - They keep comin'.- Like cockroaches. - They're eatin' all the food.- They're breathin' all the air. Help! l'm drowning in tamale. You heard whatLieutenant Schrank said. We gotta make nicewith them Puerto Ricans, or else. Are we gonna let 'em move inand take it all away from us, or else? You're damn right no. What are we gonna do,huh, buddy boys? l'll tell you what we're gonna do.We're gonna speed fast. We're gonna move like lightnin'... and we're gonna cleanthem Sharks up once and for all... so they ain't never gonna set footon our turf again. And we're gonna do itin one all-out fight. - A rumble!- Now, cool, Action boy. The Sharks want a pieceof this world too. They're real down boys. They might ask for blades,zip guns. Zip guns? Well, gee. l ain't finalizin' and sayin'they will, Baby John. l'm just sayin' that they might. And we gotta be prepared. Now, what's your mood, Jets? l say go, go! - l say mix.- l say sock 'em. - Tear 'em.- Yeah. - But if they say blades or guns?- l say let's forget the whole thing. - What?- What do you say, Riff? l say this turf is small... but it's all we got, huh? l want to hold it likewe always held it-- with skin. But if they say blades,l say blades. lf they say guns,l say guns. l say l want the Jetsto be the number one... to sail, to hold the sky! Then rev us off! Okay, cats, we rumble. Protocality calls for a war councilbetween us and the Sharks... to set the whole thing up. l will personally givethe bad news to Bernardo. - You gotta take a lieutenant with you.- That's me. - That's Tony.- Who needs Tony? We need Tony. He's got a repthat's bigger than the whole west side. - He don't belong no more.- Now, cut it, Action. - Me and Tony started the Jets.- So where is he? How come he takesa lousy, stinkin' job? - Youth board corrupted him.- Yeah, temporary sickness. -Wait and see.-Man, the day we clobbered the Emeralds. - He saved my ever-lovin' neck.- Sure, he'll do it again too. He always came through for us,and he always will. When you're a Jetyou're a Jet all the way From your first cigaretteto your last dying day When you're a Jetlet them do what they can You've got brothers aroundYou're a family man You're never alone You're never disconnected You're home with your ownWhen company's expected You're well protected Then you are setwith a capital "J" Which you'll never forgettill they cart you away When you're a Jetyou stay A Jet l know Tony like l know me. - l guarantee you can count him in.- ln, out. Let's get crackin'. - Where you gonna find Bernardo?- lt ain't safe to go in P.R. territory. - He'll be at the dance at the gym.- But the gym's neutral territory. A-rab, l'm gonna make nice with 'em.l'm only gonna challenge 'em. - Great, Daddy-O.- So listen. Everybody dress up sweet and sharp.Meet Tony and me at the dance at : . - And walk tall.- We always walk tall. - We're Jets.- The greatest. When you're a Jetyou're the top cat in town You're the gold-medal kidwith the heavyweight crown When you're a Jetyou're the swingingest thing Little boy, you're a manLittle man, you're a king The Jets are in gearOur cylinders are clickin' The Sharks'll steer clear 'Cause every Puerto Rican'sa lousy chicken Here come the Jetslike a bat out of hell Someone gets in our waysomeone don't feel so well Here come the JetsLittle world, step aside Better go undergroundBetter run, better hide We're drawin' the lineso keep your noses hidden We're hangin' a signsays "Visitors Forbidden" And we ain't kiddin' Here come the Jets, yeahand we're gonna beat Every last buggin' gangon the whole buggin' street On the whole buggin' Ever-lovin' street Yeah! - Tony, you're not even listenin'.- l read you loud and clear, Riff. Then why don't you say somethin'? l don't want to hurt your feelings.You're my buddy, my pal, my best friend. Womb to tomb? Birth to earth. That's why you gotta come to the dancetonight and stand up with me. Come on, Tony, just say yes. Did you ever stop to figure how manybubbles there are in one bottle of soda? Tony, this is important. Everything's important, Riff. You, me,the sweet guy l work for. The Sharks walk bad.They bite hard. lf we don't stop 'em now,we're gonna never-- - Work for a living.- How do you like that, huh? Four-and-a-half years l livewith a buddy and his family. l think l'm diggin'a guy's character. Boy, am l a victimof disappointment in you. End your sufferin', little man. Why don't you just pack up your gearand move out? 'Cause your ma's hot for me. lt's 'cause l hate livin'with my buggin' uncle. - Come on!- Uncle! Uncle! Go play games with the Jets. Why not?They're the greatest. Ain't they? Were. You found somethin' better? Not yet, but-- But what? You won't dig it, Riff. So try me. Come on, Tony. Try me. Okay. Every single nightfor the last month... l wake up,and l'm reachin' out. Well, for what? l don't know. A dame? lt's right outside the door,just around the corner... but it's comin'. What is? l don't know. lt's like the kick l used to getfrom bein' a Jet. Well, now you're talkin'. Man, without a gang,you're an orphan. With a gang, you walkin twos, threes, fours. When your crew is the best,when you're a Jet... you're out in the sun, buddy boy,you're home, free home. Riff, l've had it. Tony, look at me, will ya?Come on, look at me. l'm lookin' at you. l never asked the time of dayfrom a clock, did l? l never asked nothin' from nobody. But l'm askin' you,come to the dance tonight. l promised Doc l'd clean upthe store tonight. Then do it after the dance. Tony, l already told the guysyou'd be there. lf you don't show,l'll be marked lousy. - What time did you tell 'em?- : . For me, Tony. For Riff. - : it is.- Womb to tomb? Birth to earth,and l'll live to regret this. Who knows? Maybe what you're waitin' forwill be twitchin' at the dance tonight. Who knows? Could be Who knows There's something due any dayl will know right away Soon as it shows lt may come cannonballin' downthrough the sky, gleam in its eye Bright as a rose Who knows lt's only just out of reachDown the block, on a beach Under a tree l got a feelin' there's a miracle duegonna come true Comin' to me Could it beYes, it could Something's comin'something good lf l can wait Something's comin'l don't know what it is But it is gonna be great With a clickwith a shock Phone will jingledoor will knock Open the latch Something's comin'Don't know when, but it's soon Catch the moonOne-handed catch Around the corner Or whistlin' down the river Come on, deliver To me Will it beYes, it will Maybe just by holdin' still lt'll be there Come on, somethin'Come on in, don't be shy Meet a guyPull up a chair The air is hummin' And somethin' great ls comin' lt's only just out of reachDown the block, on a beach Maybe tonight Por favor, Anita.You are my friend. - Stop it, Maria.- You must make the neck lower. You must stop heckling me. We areworking on our time, not the old lady's. One inch. How muchcan one little inch do? Too much. Anita, it is now to be a dressfor dancing, no longer for praying. Listen, with those boys, you canstart out dancing and end up praying. One little inch. Bernardo made me promise. One month have l been in this country.Do l ever even touch excitement? l sew in this place all day.l sit at home all night. For what did my brotherbring me here? To marry Chino. When l look at Chino,nothing happens. What do you expect to happen? l don't know. Something. What happens when youlook at Bernardo? lt's when l don't lookthat it happens. l think l will tellMama and Papa... about you and Nardoin the balcony of the movies. - l will rip this to shreds!- No. But if you could perhaps manageto lower the neck. Next year. - l hate that dress!- Then don't wear it. Don't come to the dancewith us tonight. Don't come? - Could we not dye it red, at least?- No, we could not. White is for babies. l will be the only one therein a white-- lt is a beautiful dress. l love you! - Are you ready, ladies?- Nardo, come in. ls it not beautiful? Yes. Very. l didn't quite hear. Very beautiful. Come in, Chino.Do not be afraid. But this is a shop for ladies. We won't bite youtill we know you better. You will keep both eyes on Mariatonight in case l cannot. - You too, Anita.- My brother is a silly watchdog. My sister is a precious jewel. What am l, cut glass? Nardo, it is most important that l havea wonderful time at the dance tonight. lt is? Because tonight isthe real beginning of my life... as a young lady of America. Get out of here. Come on, guys. - Hey, look what l got.- Hi, Consuelo. Maria, these are some of my friendsyou have not met. - Hey, pick up.- How are you? This is Loco. Teresita. - My sister Maria.- Good evening. And this is Luis Arruza. Rosalia, hi. All right, boys and girls. Attention, please. - Come here.- Okay, let's get on with it. My, this is a fine turnoutwe have here tonight. Hey, it's all for you, Glad Hand. l know all of youboys and girls are here... because you want tomake new friends... and get closer to old ones. So tonight... kids, we're gonna dosomething special. We're gonna havea get-together dance. Ginger-peachy! All right. Now, kids. l want you to form two circles. - How many?- Two. Boys on the outside. - Girls on the inside.- Hey, where are you? All right. When the music stops... each boy dances withwhichever girl is opposite. Okay? Two circles, kids. Well, it won't hurt you to try. Ooh, it hurts, it hurts. Snowboy. That's it, kids.Keep the ball rolling. Around she goes,and where she stops... nobody knows. Here we go. Boys to my right,and girls to my left. - Mambo!- Mambo! Go! You're not thinkin'l'm someone else? l know you are not. Or that we met before? l know we have not. l felt... l knew something never beforewas going to happen... had to happen,but this is so much more. My hands are cold. Yours too. So warm. So beautiful. Beautiful. lt's so much to believe. You're not makin' a joke. l have not yet learnedhow to joke that way. l think now l never will. Get your hands off, American! - Stay away from my sister.- Sister? - Couldn't you see he's one of them?- No, l saw only him. There's only one thing they wantfrom a Puerto Rican girl. - That's a lie.- Later, Tony. Don't listen to them. She will listen to her brotherbefore she listens to you. - lf you two want to settle this--- Please, boys! Everything was going so well.We're all here to have a good time. Come here a second.l want to talk to you. Take her out of here.We're going home. - lt is my first dance.- Please, we are family. Now, go. Come, Maria. - l don't want you.- l want you though. l want you for a war council.Jets and Sharks. - The pleasure is mine.- Let's go outside. l would not leave the ladies alonewith your kind around. We will meet you at midnight. - Doc's candy store?- Mm-hmm. And no jazz before then. l understand the rules... native boy. lce. Doc's at midnight.Spread the word. Right, Daddy-O. The most beautiful soundl ever heard Maria All the beautiful soundsof the world ln a single word l just met a girl named Maria And suddenly that name Will never be the same to me l just kissed a girlnamed Maria And suddenly l found How wonderful a sound can be Say it loudand there's music playing Say it soft And it's almost like praying l'll never stop saying Say it loudand there's music playing Say it soft And it's almost like praying l'll never stop saying The most beautiful sound l ever heard Now, l do not say these thingsto spoil your evening... or to hear myself talk. l am here longer than you. Someday when you are an oldmarried woman with five children... then you can tell me what to do,but now it is the other way around. Now go to bed. He's the old married woman. You know, she has a mother,also a father. They do not know this countryany better than she does. You do not know it at all. Girls here are free to have fun.She is in America now. Puerto Rico is in America now. Sometimes l don't knowwhich is thicker-- your skull or your accent. - Let them wait.- ls Maria all right? - l should be so all right.- lt will not happen again. Pepe, lndio. - After tonight, things will be settled.- First settle your stomach. Never mind my stomach. Well, l mind your noseand your head broken. - Broken?- Sure. They use Maria for an excuseto start World War lll. lt is more than that. More than what?She was only dancing. With an Americanwho is really a Polack. Says the spic. You are not so cute. - That Tony is.- And he works. A delivery boy. - And what are you?- An assistant. And Chino makes halfof what the Polack makes. - The Polack is an American.- Here comes the whole commercial. Your mother's a Pole.Your father's a Swede. But you were born here.That's all that you need. You are an American.But us? Foreigners! Lice. Cockroaches. But it's true. When l think about how l thoughtit would be for us here. We came like children,believing, trusting. With our hearts open. With our arms open. You came with your mouth open. You did, spic, and you'llgo back in handcuffs. l'm going back in a Cadillac. - Air-conditioned.- Built-in bar. - Telephone.- Television. Compatible color. lf you had all that here, why would youwant to go back to Puerto Rico? Even if you didn't have all that here,why would you want to go back? lt's so good here? lt's so good there?We had nothing. Ah, we still have nothing,only more expensive. Anita Josephina... - Beatriz del Carmen Margarita.- lt's plain Anita now. - Et cetera.- Leave me alone. At least l-- Once an immigrant,always an immigrant. Hey, look, instead of a shampoo,she's been brainwashed. - Stop it.- She's given up Puerto Rico. Now she's queer for Uncle Sam. Oh, no. That's not true. Puerto Rico My heart's devotion Let it sink back ln the ocean Always the hurricanes blowing Always the population growing And the money owing And the sunlight streaming And the natives steaming l like the island Manhattan l know you do. Smoke on your pipe And put that in l like to be in America Okay by me in America Everything free in America For a small fee in America Buying on credit is so nice One look at usand they charge twice l have my own washing machine What will you have thoughto keep clean Skyscrapers bloom in America Cadillacs zoom in America lndustry boom in America Twelve in a room in America Lots of new housingwith more space Lots of doors slammingin our face l'll get a terrace apartment Better get rid of your accent Life can be bright in America lf you can fight in America Life is all right in America lf you're all white in America La-la-la, la-la, America Here you are freeand you have pride Long as you stayon your own side Free to be anythingyou choose Free to wait tablesand shine shoes Everywhere grime in America Organized crime in America Terrible time in America You forget l'm in America l think l go backto San Juan l know a boat you can get onBye-bye! Everyone therewill give big cheer Everyone therewill have moved here Come on! Hey, Chino. What are you doing? - Meet me on the roof later.- Meet me on the roof later. - Well, will you or won't you?- Well, will you or won't you? Well, will you? You have your big,important war council. The council or me? First one... and then the other. l'm an American girl now. l don't wait. Back home,women know their place. Back home, little boysdon't have war councils. But they do here. You want me to bean American, don't you? lmmigrant! Good night, Maria. Good night. Quiet! Come down. Please. My motherand father will wake up. Just for a minute. A minute is not enough. - For an hour then.- l cannot. Then forever!Then l'm comin' up. Now see what you've done. lt is dangerous.lf Bernardo knew-- We'll let him know.l'm not one of 'em, Maria. But you are not one of us,and l am not one of you. - To me you're all the beautiful--- Maruca. His pet name for me. l like him,and he will like me. He is like Bernardo-- afraid. lmagine being afraid of you. - You see?- l see you. Oh, Maria, see only me. Only you You're the only thingl'll see forever ln my eyes, in my wordsand in everything l do Nothing else but you ever And there's nothing for me but Maria Every sight that l see is Maria Tony, Tony Always youEvery thought l'll ever know Everywhere l goyou'll be All the worldis only you and me Tonight, tonight lt all began tonight l saw youand the world went away There's only you tonight What you areWhat you do What you say Today All day l had the feeling A miracle would happen l know now l was right For here you are And what was just a world ls a star tonight The world is full of light With suns and moonsall over the place The world is wild and bright Going madShooting sparks into space Today the worldwas just an address A place for me to live in No better than all right But here you are And what was just a world ls a star tonight l cannot stay.Go quickly. - l'm not afraid.- Please. Good night. l love you. Yes. Yes, hurry. - When will l see you?- Tomorrow. l work at the bridal shopacross the street-- Madam Lucia's. - l'll come there.- At closing time, : . When you come,use the back door. What does "Tony" stand for? Anton. Good night Sleep welland when you dream Dream of me Tonight - Where the devil are them Sharks?- Maybe they're too chicken to show. We got time, A-rab.Riff and lce ain't even here yet. - Come on, come on.- He don't use a switchblade. - He don't even use an atomic ray gun.- Who don't? Captain Marvel.Gee, l love him. So marry him! l ain't never gonna get married.Too noisy. You ain't never gonna get married.Too ugly. Down goes a teenage hoodlum. Gee, could a real zip gunmake you do like that? l know what a zip gun could make you do.You better wear diapers. Go walk the streetslike your sister. Listen, jail bait. l licked you twice,and l can do it again! Come on, Anybodys,knock it off. - Riff's here.- Jets all present and accounted for? l'm proud of ya.Ya done good at the dance. - So where are they?- Unwind, Action! - Any sign of Tony?- The lnvisible Man. What do you thinkthe Sharks are gonna ask for? - Mercy.- Just rubber hoses maybe. - Relax, little man.- You tell him, Daddy-O. - l'm ready.- Easy. Cool. Riff, in a tight spot,you gonna need every man you can get. An American tragedy. Look. When the Sharks come,you chicks cut out. We might,and then again, we might not. This ain't kid stuff, Graziella. l and Velma ain'tkid stuff, neither. - Are we, Vel?- No, thank you. And you can punctuate it. What are we poopin' aroundwith dumb broads? l and Velma ain't dumb. The bulls! - Hey, you.- Hey, who? - Who? Me?- Her? Top o' the evening,Officer Krupke. You! - Me, sir?- Yeah, you. - Didn't you hear me?- Yes, sir. l got twenty-twenty hearin'. -Then why didn't you answer me?-His mother told him not to answer cops. - Wise apple, you want me to run you in?- lndeed not, sir. l oughta runall you punks in. What are you standin'around here for? You see, sir,we're afraid to go home. Such a bad environment. - We don't get no love there.- Oh, it's awful. lf you don't leave usstay out in the streets... we liable to turn intoa bunch of juvenile delinquents. l know you guys was cookin' upsomethin' at the dance tonight... so don't think you're gonnaput nothin' over on me. Sergeant, come on.We got a - . Now go on, get a move on,all of you. Don't let me catch none of youaround here when l get back. l'll see you around now. - You forgot to say good-bye.- Them headbusters ain't got no manners. Don't let me catch none of youaround here when l get back. - They treat us like we ain't human.- He was pretty mad, huh? So what happened?A big fat nothin', right? Yeah, but suppose he comes back while usand the Sharks are havin' a war council? We'll snow him some more. Them cops believe everything they readin the papers about us cruddy J.D.'s... so we give 'emsomethin' to believe in. Hey, you! - Who, me, Officer Krupke?- Yeah, you! Give me one good reason for not draggin'ya down to the station house, ya punk! Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke Ya gotta understand lt's just our bringin' up-kethat gets out outta hand Our mothers all are junkiesOur fathers all are drunks Golly MosesNaturally we're punks Gee, Officer KrupkeWe're very upset We never had the lovethat every child oughta get We ain't no delinquentsWe're misunderstood - Deep down inside us there is good- There is good There is good, there is goodThere is untapped good Like insidethe worst of us is good - That's a touchin' good story!- Let me tell it to the world! Just tell it to the judge! Dear kindly JudgeYour Honor My parents treat me rough With all their marijuanathey won't give me a puff They didn't wanna have meBut somehow l was had Leapin' lizardsThat's why l'm so bad Right! Officer Krupkeyou're really a square This boy don't need a judgeHe needs an analyst's care lt's just his neurosisthat oughta be curbed - He's psychologically disturbed- l'm disturbed We're disturbed, we're disturbedWe're the most disturbed Like we're psychologically disturbed Hear ye! Hear ye! ln the opinion of this court,this child is depraved... on account he ain't hada normal home. Hey, l'm depravedon account l'm deprived! So take him to a headshrinker.You! Who, me? My daddy beats my mommyMy mommy clobbers me My grandpa is a commieMy grandma pushes tea My sister wears a mustacheMy brother wears a dress Goodness graciousThat's why l'm a mess Yes! Officer Krupkehe shouldn't be here This boy don't need a couchHe needs a useful career Society's played hima terrible trick - And sociologically he's sick- l am sick We are sick, we are sickWe are sick, sick, sick Like we're sociologically sick ln my opinion, this child does not needto have his head shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquencyis purely a social disease. Hey, l got a social disease! Take him to a social worker. - Which way?- That way. Dear kindly social worker They tell meget a job Like be a soda-jerkerWhich means like be a slob lt's not l'm antisociall'm only anti-work GloryoskyThat's why l'm a jerk Officer Krupkeyou've done it again This boy don't need a jobHe needs a year in the pen lt ain't just a questionof misunderstood - Deep down inside him he's no good- l'm no good We're no good, we're no goodWe're no earthly good Like the best of usis no damn good - The trouble is he's lazy- The trouble is he drinks - The trouble is he's crazy- The trouble is he stinks - The trouble is he's growing- The trouble is he's grown Krupke, we got troublesof our own Gee, Officer Krupkewe're down on our knees 'Cause no one wants a fellawith a social disease Gee, Officer Krupkewhat are we to do Gee, Officer KrupkeKrup you Curfew, gentlemen,and ladies. Aren't you up a little late,Baby John? l got insomnia, Doc.Too many worries. - Any of you seen Tony tonight?- You bet ya we did. He was supposed toclean up the store. So maybe he decidedto clean up the P.R.s instead. - Doc, you ain't gonna close up now?- l'm not? - Listen, we got a war council here.- A who? - To determine weapons.- We gonna set up a mix with the P.R.s. Weapons.You couldn't play basketball? Get with it, buster. You don't understand.We got special business comin' here. - Makin' trouble for the Puerto Ricans?- They make trouble for us. For you, trouble is a relief. We gotta stand up to 'em.lt's important. Fightin' over a little pieceof street is so important? - To us it is.- To hoodlums it is. - Who you callin' hoodlums?- War councils-- - Don't start, Doc.- When l was your age-- When you was my age? When my old man was my age--my brother was my age. You was never my age,none of ya. And the sooner you creeps get hipto that, the sooner you'll dig us! l'll dig you an early grave,that's what l'll dig. Dig, dig, dig. Okay, Doc, set 'em up.Cokes all around. Let's get down to business. Bernardo hasn't learnedthe procedures of gracious livin'. l don't like you either,so cut it. - Kick it, Doc.- Boys, couldn't you maybe talk-- Kick it! We challenge you to a rumble. All out, once and for all.Accept? - On what terms?- Whatever terms you're callin'. You crossed the lineonce too often. - You started it.- Who jumped Baby John this afternoon? - Who jumped me first day l moved here?- Who asked you to move here? - Move where you're wanted!- Spics! - Mick!- Wop! We accept. - Time.- Tomorrow? After dark. - Place.- The park? The river. Under the highway. - Weapons.- Hey, Doc! Weapons. - You call.- Your challenge. Afraid to call? Rocks. - Belts.- Pipes. - Cans.- Bricks. - Bats!- Clubs! - Chains!- Bottles, knives, guns! - What a coop full of chickens.- Who you callin' chicken? - Every dog knows his own.- l'm callin' you all chicken. Big tough buddy boysgotta throw bricks, huh? Afraid to get in close?Afraid to slug it out? - Afraid to use plain skin?- Not even garbage? - That ain't a rumble.- Who says? - You said call weapons.- lt can be clinched by a fair fight. lf you've got the guts to risk that.Best man from each gang to slug it out. l would enjoy to risk that.Okay, fair fight. Wait a minute.The commanders say yes or no. Fair fight. When l get through with you... you will be like a fishafter skinning. Your best manfights our best man... and we pick him. - l thought l would be fighting--- You shook on it. Yes, l shook on it. lf you wanna change your mind,we can still-- - Bernardo, would you like a cigarette?- No, thank you. l don't smoke. Evening, Lieutenant. l and Tony was just closin' up. Well, now,this is more like it, fellas. Warms me all overto see you this way. And after only a couple of words from meat the playground this afternoon. Oh, do you mind? l have no mind.l'm the village idiot. Headquarters hears about this,l may even get a promotion. Good deal all around,huh, Bernardo? l get a promotion... and you Puerto Ricansget what you've been itchin' for. Use of the playground,use of the gym... the streets, the candy store. So what if they do turn this whole towninto a stinkin' pigsty? Don't stop him.He wants to get home... write letters to San Juan,tell 'em how he's got it made here. What l mean is, clear out!l said, clear out! Oh, yeah, sure, l know. lt's a free countryand l ain't got the right. But l got a badge. What do you got? Things are tough all over.Beat it! Okay, fellas. Where's the rumble gonna be? Come on. l know regular Americansdon't rub with the gold-teeth unless-- - Look, Lieutenant--- You shut your mouth! Come on, Baby John... before that smooth little kisserof yours gets cut up for life. Now, where's it gonna be? The river? The park? Look, fellas, l'm for you. l want this beat cleaned up,and you can do it for me. l'll even lend a handif things get rough. Now, where ya gonna rumble? The playground? Sweeney's lot? Why don't you get smart,you stupid hooligans? l oughta take you to the stationand throw you in the can right now. You and the tinhornimmigrant scum you come from! How's your old man's d.t.'s, A-rab? How's the action on yourmother's side of the street, Action? One of these daysthere won't be anybody to hold ya. Get him outta here!Come on! Don't worry, l'll find outwhere it's gonna be. So be sure to finish each other off,because if you don't, l will! Oh, yeah, sure. Understand 'em. That's what they keep tellin' medown at headquarters: understand. Well, you try keeping hoodlums in lineand see what it does to you. lt wouldn't give mea mouth like his. Come on, Doc.Don't let it get ya. l'm sick. You heard.lt's gonna be a fair fight. And that's gonna cure somethin'? From here on in,everything's gonna be all right. - l got a feelin'.- What have you been takin' tonight? A trip to the moon. And l'll tell ya a secret, Doc.lt ain't a man that's up there. lt's a girl. A lady. So that's why youmade it a fair fight. l'm gonna see her tomorrowand l can't wait. - Things aren't tough enough?- Doc, l'm in love. - And you're not frightened?- Should l be? No, l'm frightened enoughfor the both of you. What has Chino done to her? Chino? Why Chino? Maybe she's justdolling up for us. Rosalia, Consuelo... my adorable friends,can you keep a secret? l'm hot for secrets. No, l won't tell you. - What?- What? - The poor girl is out of her mind.- l am-- crazy. She might be at that.She looks somehow different. - l do?- And l think she is up to something. l am? ''l do?'' ''l am?''She talks like a parrot. What is going on with you, Maria? l feel prettyOh, so pretty l feel pretty and witty and gay And l pity any girlwho isn't me today l feel charmingOh, so charming lt's alarming how charming l feel And so prettyThat l hardly can believe l'm real See the pretty girlin that mirror there Who can that attractive girl be Such a pretty faceSuch a pretty dress Such a pretty smileSuch a pretty me l feel stunningand entrancing Feel like runningand dancing for joy For l'm lovedby a pretty wonderful boy Have you met my good friend Maria The craziest girl on the block You'll know herthe minute you see her She's the one who is inan advanced state of shock She thinks she's in loveShe thinks she's in Spain She isn't in loveShe's merely insane lt must be the heator some rare disease Or too much to eatOr maybe it's fleas Keep away from herSend for Chino This is not the Maria we know Modest and purepolite and refined Well-bred and matureand out of her mind Miss America! Miss America!Bravo! Speech! l feel prettyOh, so pretty That the cityshould give me its key A committee should be organizedto honor me l feel dizzyl feel sunny l feel fizzy and funny and fine And so prettyMiss America can just resign See the pretty girlin that mirror there - What mirror where- Who can that attractive girl be - Which, what, where, who- Such a pretty face Such a pretty dress, such a pretty smileSuch a pretty me l feel stunning And entrancing Feel like runningand dancing for joy For l'm lovedby a pretty wonderful boy You want to sing, do it with needles,or you'll be singing for your supper. But Madam Lucia, what can you expect?We use Singer sewing machines. Sure. You make the bad joke homewhere l can't hear it! Well, go now.lt's closing time. Shoo! You pull down the shades,pick up the pins... turn off the lightsand lock the doors. Oh, the jail is opened. l thought she'd never leave. lt's hard to believe that old bagwas once a young bag like us. Let's go before shechanges her mind and comes back. You go, querida.l will lock up. - Why?- l have work. - Do it tomorrow.- l am in no hurry. l am. l'm going home nowand take a nice long bubble bath. Black Orchid. All over. l got a date with Nardoafter the rumble. What rumble? Oh, well, Nardo's Sharksand those boys at the dance. They fight each other tonight? They don't play potsy. Why must they always fight? Well, you saw how they dance-- likethey gotta get rid of something quick. That's how they fight. To get rid of what? Too much feeling.And they do get rid of it. Boy, after a fight,that brother of yours is so healthy. Definitely: Black Orchid. ''You go, querida.l will lock up.'' lt's too early for noches.Buenas tardes. He just came from the drugstoreto deliver aspirin. - You'll need it.- Not us. We're fine.We're out of the world. You're out of your heads. - We're feet in the air.- Anita can see that. You will not tell? Tell what? How can l knowwhat goes on feet over my head? You better be home in minutes. lt's all right.She likes us. But she is worried,and so am l. - That's foolish.- Are you going to that rumble tonight? - Why?- You must go and stop it. l have stopped it. lt's only gonna bea fistfight now between two of 'em. Any fight is no good for us. Everything is good for us.We got magic. Listen, and hear me. You must go and stop it. lt means that much to you? l will, then. l believe you.You do have magic. Of course. l've got you. And tonight, after l stop the rumblethat is no rumble, l'll come by for you. l will wait for youon the roof. Not the roof.l'll come to your house. You cannot.My mama. - Then l'll take you to my house.- Your mama. She'll come runnin' from the kitchento welcome ya. She lives in the kitchen. - Dressed so elegant?- l told her you were comin'. She'll look at your face,try not to smile, and say... ''Skinny, but pretty.'' She is plump, no doubt. Fat. l take after my mama--delicate-boned. Not in front of Mama! l would like to see Papa in this. Mama will make himask about your prospects. Many. - lf you go to church.- Oh, always. Yes, Papa might like you. - May l have your daughter's hand?- He says yes. - And your mama?- l'm afraid to ask her. Tell her she's not getting a daughter.She's getting rid of a son. - She says yes.- She has good taste. Here. Maid of honor. Oh, that color is bad for Anita. - The best man.- That is my papa! Sorry, Papa. Here we go, Riff.Womb to tomb. Now you see, Anita?There was nothing to worry about. Look. Mama's cryin' already. l, Anton, take thee, Maria... l, Maria, take thee, Anton... for richer, for poorer... in sickness and in health... to love and to honor... to hold and to keep... from each sun to each moon... from tomorrow to tomorrow... from now to forever... till death do us part. With this ring, l thee wed. Make of our hands One hand Make of our hearts One heart Make of our vows One last vow Only death will Part us now Make of our lives One life Day after day One life Now it begins Now we start One hand One heart Even death Won't part Us now The Jets are gonnahave their day tonight The Jets are gonnahave their way tonight The Puerto Ricans grumbleFair fight But if they start a rumbleWe'll rumble 'em right We're gonna hand 'ema surprise tonight We're gonna cut 'emdown to size tonight We said, okay, no rumpusNo tricks But just in case they jump usWe're ready to mix Tonight We're gonna rock it tonight We're gonna jazz it upand have us a ball They're gonna get it tonight The more they turn it onthe harder they'll fall - Well, they began it- Well, they began it And we're the ones to stop 'emonce and for all Tonight Anita's gonna gether kicks tonight We'll have our privatelittle mix tonight He'll walk in hot and tiredPoor dear Don't matter if he's tiredas long as he's here Tonight, tonight Won't be just any night Tonight there will beno morning star l'll see my love tonight And for us Stars will stop where they are Today the minutes seem like hours The hours go so slowly And still the sky is light Oh, moonGrow bright And make this endless day Endless night The Jets are comin'out on top tonight We're gonna watchBernardo drop tonight The Puerto Rican punk'll go down And when he's hollered uncleWe'll tear up the town - We'll be in back of you, boy- Right - You're gonna flatten him good- Right Tonight there will beno morning star And then we'llhave us a ball tonight We're gonna rock it tonight We're gonna jazz it tonight We're gonna mix it tonight Today the minutesseem like hours The hours go so slowly And still the sky is light We'll stop 'em once and for all The Sharks are gonnahave their way The Jets are gonnahave their day We're gonna rock it tonight Tonight Ready. - Now move in and shake hands.- For what? Well, that's the wayit's done, buddy boy. More gracious living. Every one of you hates every one of us,and we hate you right back. - Let's get at it.- Sure. Hold it! Get with the gang.lt's all okay. - No!- What are you doin'? Maybe he has found the gutsto fight his own battles. lt don't take gutsif you got a battle. We ain't got one, none of us.Okay, Nardo? Hold it!Let's cool it. The deal is a fair fightbetween you and lce. Get with the gang. Mother hen protecting the little one?l'll give you a battle, gallito. - You've got one!- l'll take pretty boy on as a warm-up. Afraid, pretty boy?Afraid, gutless? - Afraid, chicken?- Cut it! l don't want to. - l'm sure.- Now listen to me. - Are you chicken?- There's nothin' to fight about. - The hell there ain't!- You got it wrong! - Why can't you understand?- What do you say, chicken? Kill him, Tony. - Come on, man.- Afraid to fight? - Let me see you fight.- What's the matter? He's chicken, boy. He is chicken! - Hey, pretty boy.- Bernardo, listen. Don't! Stop it!We got nothin' to fight about. - You yellowbellied chicken!- Don't push me! Come on,you yellowbellied Pollack! - Riff, what are you doin'?- Get outta here, Tony! Riff, don't! - Hold him!- lce, let me go! Riff, don't! Keep outta this! Somebody stop him! Let me go! - Come on, Nardo!- Stop him! Riff, don't! Get him! Tony, come on.Come on, Tony. Gotta get outta here!Come on! Come on, Tony.Come on! Get outta here! Come on! Come on, Tony! Wait for me, Rosa. There was no one downstairs. My mother and fatherare at the store. l didn't expect you to come byor l would have waited down-- You have been fighting, Chino? Yes. l am sorry. That is not like you. You must go home and wash up. - l will see you tomorrow.- Maria, at the rumble-- - There was no rumble.- There was. - You are wrong.- Nobody meant for it to happen. Tell me. lt is bad. Very bad? You see-- lt will be easierif you say it very fast. There was a fight... and Nardo-- Somehow a knife-- And Nardo and someone-- What happened to Tony? Tell me!ls Tony all right? He killed your brother! You are lying. Chino, why do you lie to me? Chino, you are lying! Lying! Why do you lie? Make it not be true.Please make it not be true. Madre de Dios,l will do anything. Make me die,only please make it not be true. Make it not be-- Killer! Killer! Killer! l tried to stop it. l did try.l don't know what went wrong. l didn't mean to hurt him.l didn't wanna. But Riff was like my brother.When Bernardo killed him-- Bernardo didn'tmean it either, l know. l thought you knew. l didn't come to tell you that. Just for you to forgive meso l could go to the police. - lt'll be easy now.- l won't let you. - l must.- Stay with me. - Maria, l love you so much.- Don't leave me. - Whatever you want, l'll do.- Hold me. - Oh, forever.- Tighter. We'll be all right,l know it. We're really together now. But it's not us. lt's everything around us. Then l'll take you away,where nothin' can get to us. Not anyone or anything. There's a place for us Somewhere a place for us Peace and quiet And open air Wait for us somewhere There's a time for us Someday a time for us Time together with time to spare Time to look Time to care someday Somewhere We'll find a new way of living We'll find a way of forgiving Somewhere There's a place for us A time and place for us Hold my handand we're halfway there Hold my handand l'll take you there Somehow Someday Somewhere Baby John,what are ya doin' here? Nothin'. What are ya doin' nothin'here for? Come on. l don't want the guysto see me, A-rab. Why not? Well, l'm cryin'. You are? - What for?- l don't know. Blow your nose. Did you get a lookat their faces? - Which faces?- You know. At the rumble--Riff and Bernardo. l wish it was yesterday. Me too.l'm scared. Cut it out!You hear me? What are we gonna do? We're gonna meet the other guysand form up, that's what. Now come on.Let's go. Do you got a handkerchief first? What's wrong with your sleeve? - Where ya been?- Where do ya think? The Stork Club? - We thought they nabbed you.- Go on. - You didn't see Tony, huh?- No. Nothin' but coppers. - What's wrong with him?- There's nothin' wrong with him. All right, all right. - Maybe we oughta go home.- For what? - Bet ya they got him.- Not Tony. He was great.Huh, Baby John? Oh, yeah. He reallycome through for the Jets. Just like Riff said he-- Said he would. Riff! l want Riff! Come on, Graziella. Nobody was supposedto get killed. lt just-- - They're gonna pay.- Them stinkin' Sharks. - Dirty fighting.- They started it. - Why don't we finish it?- Cool it. We gotta show 'em who's on top.Let's do it now! Ain't we had enough? What's the matter?You scared? - Who you callin' scared?- Lay off of him. - Mind your own business.- Don't sound off or l'll hit you. - You'll do what?- Knock it off! Shut up down there,you dirty good-for-nothin's! Go home where you belong! Who you callin' good-for-nothin',you loudmouthed crud-head! -l'll put this through your stupid face!-Get inside, all of ya! - Shut up!- l don't take that from nobody! Next creep who sounds on me,the next guy who gets in my craw-- You'll laugh! Now you all better dig thisand dig it good. No matter who or whatis eatin' you... man, you show itand you are dead! You are cuttin' a hole in yourselves forthem to stick in a red-hot umbrella... and open it wide. Man, you wanna get past the copswhen they start asking about tonight? You play it cool. You wanna live in this lousy world?Play it cool. - l wanna get even!- Get cool! - l wanna bust!- Bust cool! - l wanna go!- Go cool! Boy, boyCrazy boy Get cool, boy Got a rocket in your pocket Keep cooly cool, boy Don't get hot'Cause, man, you've got Some high times ahead Take it slow And Daddy-OYou can live it up and die in bed Boy, boyCrazy boy Stay loose, boy Breeze it, buzz itEasy does it Turn off the juice, boy Go, man, go But not like a yo-yo schoolboy Just play it cool, boy Real cool Easy, Action. Cool it, A-rab.Cool it! Cool it! Cool! - Go!- Crazy! Boy, boyCrazy boy Stay loose, boy Breeze it, buzz itEasy does it Turn off the juice, boy Just play it cool, boy Real cool Let's go. Where we goin'? lf we lay low, the coppersare gonna smell fish, so we-- - Hey, buddy boys!- Aw, go wear a skirt. l got scabby knees.Listen. - We act like we got nothin' to hide.- Suppose they ask about the rumble? Supposin' they ask you where's Tonyand what party's lookin' for him... with a gun! You know somethin'? - l know l gotta go get a skirt.- Come on, Anybodys. - What's the freak know?- Plenty. l figured somebody oughta infiltrateP.R. territory and spy around. l'm very large with shadows. l can slip in and out of 'emlike wind through a fence. - ls she ever makin' the most of it.- You bet your fat A, l am! - Spill it!- Okay! l hear Chino tell the Sharks somethin'about Tony and Bernardo's sister. And then l hear Chino say... ''lf it's the last thing l do,l'm gonna get that Polack.'' And then he pulls outthe bad news. - Them P.R.s won't stop.- Till we stop 'em. Hold it! Now listen. Tony come through for us,we gotta come through for Tony. - We gotta find him before Chino does.- And burns him. You guys cover the river.Snowboy, the docks. - l'll take the back alleys.- l and Graziella will take the streets. - l'll cover the park.- The schoolyard. - Let's go.- What about me? You? ln and out of the shadows.Maybe you'll find Tony in one of 'em. Right! Ya done good, buddy boy. Thanks, Daddy-O. Who is-- Maria, it's Anita.Are you in there? Open the door.l need you. Now you are afraid, too? - What?- l'll be right there. - Together.- But where? The bus station. We'll go so far awaythey'll never find us. - How can we?- Doc'll help us with money. - You'll meet me at his store.- At Doc's, yes. l'll wait for you there. Hurry. Coming, Anita. All right, now you know. And you still don't know.He is one of them! A boy like thatwould kill your brother Forget that boyand find another One of your own kindStick to your own kind A boy like thatwill give you sorrow You'll meet another boy tomorrow One of your own kindStick to your own kind A boy who kills cannot love A boy who kills has no heart And he's the boywho gets your love And gets your heart Very smart, MariaVery smart A boy like thatwants one thing only And when he's donehe'll leave you lonely He'll murder your loveHe murdered mine Just wait and seeJust wait, Maria Oh, no, Anita, no lt isn't trueNot for me lt's true for youNot for me l hear your wordsAnd in my head l know they're smart But my heart, AnitaBut my heart Knows they're wrong You should know better You were in loveOr so you said You should know better l have a love And it's all that l have Right or wrong What else can l do l love him l'm his And everything he is l am too l have a love And it's all that l need Right or wrong And he needs me too l love him We're one There's nothing to be done Not a thing l can do But hold him Hold him forever Be with him now Tomorrow And all Of my life When love comes so strong There is no right or wrong Your love is Your love Chino has a gun. l heard the boys talking.He's hunting for Tony. He is at Doc's store,waiting for me. lf Chino hurts him or touches him,l swear to you l'll-- You'll do what Tonydid to Bernardo? l love Tony. l know. l loved Bernardo. - Anybody home?- Yes. - Bernardo's sister, please.- She isn't feeling well. Who is? Hello, Miss.l'm Lieutenant Schrank. l don't like to disturb youat a time like this-- Yes, a very bad time. - lf you will excuse me, please.- l have a couple of questions. Afterwards, please.l must go to my brother now. - Just one minute!- Can't you wait? Now, you were at the danceat the gym last night-- Will this take very long? As long as it has to. Excuse me. Anita, my headache is much worse. Will you go toDoc's store for me? Don't you peoplekeep aspirin around? This is something special. Will you go for me, Anita? What shall l ask for? Doc will know. Tell him l have been detained... and can't get there right away. Or l would havepicked it up myself. Excuse me.You were asking? At the gym last night... your brother got into an argumentbecause you danced with the wrong boy. Who was the boy? Another from my country. And his name? Jose. - Can't find him.- He ain't nowhere. - He's right down in the cellar.- Safe and sound. - l found him.- You warn him about Chino? - What's he doin' in the cellar?- Keepin' the mice company. No sign of Chino? - Nothin'.- His luck. l'll slip out the backand check the alleys again. - You guys hang here.- Right. Boy, l'm thirsty.Where's Doc? Upstairs raisin'getaway money for Tony. - Doc ain't got no money.- His mattress has. Cut the frabbajabba.Grab some readin' matter. Play the juke. Some of you get outside. lf you seeChino or any of those stinkin' P.R.s-- - l'd like to see Doc.- He ain't here. Where is he? He went to the bank.They made a mistake in his favor. The banks are closed at night.Where is he? You know how skinny Doc is. He slippedin through the night deposit slot. And got stuck halfway in. Which indicates, there'sno tellin' when he'll be back. Where ya goin'? Downstairs. Didn't l tell you?He ain't here! l'd like to see for myself. Please. - Will you let me pass?- She's too dark to pass. - Oh, don't.- Please don't. - Listen, you!- We're listenin'! Look. l gotta givea friend of yours a message. - l gotta tell Tony--- He ain't here. - l know he is.- Who says? - Who's the message from?- Never mind. Couldn't be from Chino,could it? Don't you understand?l want to help! - Bernardo's girl wants to help?- Even a greaseball's got feelin's. But she wants to help get Tony. Not much,Bernardo's tramp. - Bernardo's pig.- You lyin' spic. - Don't do that!- Gold tooth! - Pierced ear!- Garlic mouth! Stop it! What are you doing there? Bernardo was right. lf one of you waslying in the street... bleeding... l'd walk by and spit on you. -Don't let her go!-She'll tell Chino Tony's in the cellar! Don't you touch me. l got a messagefor your American buddy. You tell that murderer... that Maria'snever going to meet him. You tell him that Chinofound out about them... and shot her! She's dead. When do you kids stop? You make this world lousy. We didn't make it, Doc. Get outta here. Doc, l thought l heard--You got it! Yeah, l got it. You're a pal.You're the best friend a guy ever had. l'll pay you backas soon as l can, l promise. - Forget that.- Never. l couldn't. Doc, you know what we're gonna doin the country, Maria and me? We're gonna have lots of kids,and we're gonna name 'em after ya. That way,when you come to visit us-- Wake up! ls this the only wayto get through to you? Do just what you all do?Bust like a hot water pipe? What's got into you? Why do you kids livelike there's a war on? Why do you kill? l told you how it happened. Maria understands. l thought you did too. Maria understands nothing... ever again. There is no Maria, Tony. What? - l can't.- No, Doc! Now tell me!What is it? That was Anita upstairs. Chino found outabout you and Maria... and he killed her. Maria died? Come and get me too, Chino! Come and get me too, Chino! - Who's that?- lt's Anybodys. Come on. Get out of here! - Come and get me, damn you!- What are ya doin'? - Get out of here!- Why don't you come with me-- lt ain't playin' anymore!Can't any of you get that? - But the gang!- You're a girl! Be a girl and beat it! Come on, Chino!Get me too! Chino! l'm callin' for ya! There's nobody here but me. Come on! Please, will ya? l'm waitin' for ya. l want you to. l didn't believe hard enough. Loving is enough. Not here.They won't let us be. Then we'll get away. - Yeah, we can.- Yes. - We will.- Yes. Hold my handand we're halfway there Hold my handand l'll take you there Somehow Someday Some-- Stay back! How do you fire this gun, Chino? Just by pullingthis little trigger? How many bullets are left, Chino? Enough for you? And you? All of you! You all killed him. And my brother.And Riff. Not with bullets and guns. With hate! Well, l can kill too,because now l have hate! How many can l kill, Chino? How many, and still haveone bullet left for me? Don't you touch him! Special help by SergeiKAdd comment Ice AgeWhy not call it the Big Chill or the Nippy era? I'm just sayin', how do we know it's an ice age? Because of all the ice. Well, things just got a little chillier. Help. Help. Come on, kids, let's go. The traffic's movin'. But, but, but, Dad. No buts. You can play extinction later. OK. Come on, guys. So, where's Eddie? He said he was on the verge of an evolutionary breakthrough. Really? I'm flying. Some breakthrough. - Look out. - You're going the wrong way. Crazy mammoth. Do the world a favor. Move your issues off the road. If my trunk was that small, I wouldn't draw attention to myself, pal. Give me a break. We've been waddlin' all day. Go ahead. Follow the crowd. It'll be quieter when you're gone. Come on. If he wants to freeze to death, let him. I'm up. I'm up. Rise and shine, everybody. Huh? Zak? Marshall? Bertie? Uncle Fungus? Where is everybody? Come on, guys, we're gonna miss the migration. They left without me. They do this every year. Why? Doesn't anyone love me? Isn't there anyone who cares about Sid the Sloth? All right, I'll just go by myself. Sick. Wide body, curb it next time. Oh, jeez. Yuck. I can't believe it. Fresh wild greens. Frank, where did you ever...? - Go ahead. Dig in. - A dandelion. - I thought the frost wiped 'em all out. - All but one. It makes me so... I wanna... Yuck. This has definitely not been my day. You know what I'm sayin', buddy? What a mess. You rhinos have tiny brains. Did you know that? It's just a fact. No offense. You probably didn't even know what I'm talkin' about. Yummo. A dandelion. Must be the last one of the season. - Carl. - Easy, Frank. He ruined our salad. My mistake. That was my mistake. Let me... No, no, seriously, let me take care of this. What is this? Pine cones. Oh, my goodness. They're my favorite. Delicious. That's good eating. But don't let me hog them all up. Here, you have some. Tasty, isn't it? "Bon appétit." Now? Now. - Just pretend that I'm not here. - I wanted to hit him at full speed. - That's OK. We'll have some fun with him. - Don't let them impale me. I wanna live. - Get off me. - Come on, you're makin' a scene. We'll just take our furry piņata and go. If it's not them today, it's someone else tomorrow. Well, I'd rather it not be today. OK? We'll break your neck so you don't feel a thing. Wait a minute. I thought rhinos were vegetarians. - An excellent point. - Shut up. Who says we're gonna eat him after we kill him? I don't like animals that kill for pleasure. - Save it for a mammal that cares. - I'm a mammal that cares. OK, if either of you make it across that sinkhole in front of ya, you get the sloth. That's right, you losers. You take one step and you're dead. - You were bluffing, huh? - Yeah. Yeah, that was a bluff. Get him. A dandelion? We did it. - You have beautiful eyes. - Get off my face. Whoa, we make a great team. What do you say we head south together? Great. Jump on my back and relax the whole way. - Wow, really? - No. Wait, aren't you going south? The change of seasons, migration instincts. - Any of this a-ringin' a bell? - I guess not. Bye. OK, then. Thanks for the help. I can take it from here. You overgrown weasel. Wait till we get down there. That south thing is way overrated. The heat, the crowds - who needs it? Isn't this great? You and me, two bachelors knockin' about in the wild. No, you just want a bodyguard so you don't become somebody's side dish. You're a very shrewd mammal. OK, lead the way, Mr Big... Didn't get the name. - Manfred. - Manfred? Yuck. How about Manny the Moody Mammoth? Or Manny the Melancholy... Manny the... Stop following me. OK, so you've got issues. You won't even know I'm here. I'll just zip the lip. Look at the cute little baby, Diego. - Isn't it nice he'll be joining us for breakfast? - It wouldn't be breakfast without him. Especially since his daddy wiped out half our pack and wears our skin to keep warm. An eye for an eye, don't you think? Let's show him what happens when he messes with sabers. Alert the troops. We attack at dawn. And, Diego, bring me that baby alive. If I'm gonna enjoy my revenge, I want it to be fresh. Phew. I'm wiped out. - That's your shelter? - You're a big guy. You got a lotta wood. - I'm a little guy. - You got half a stick. But with my little stick and my highly evolved brain, I shall create fire. Fascinating. We'll see if brains triumph over brawn tonight. Now, won't we? Think I saw a spark. Any chance I could squeeze in there with you, Manny, ol' pal? Isn't there someone else you can annoy? Friends? Family? Poisonous reptiles? My family abandoned me. They just kinda migrated without me. You should see what they did last year. They woke up early and tied my hands and feet and they gagged me with a field mouse, covered their tracks, went through water so I'd lose their scent, and... who needs 'em, anyway? So what about you? You have family? OK, you're tired. I see. We'll talk more in the morning. Manfred? Manfred? Could you scooch over a drop? Come on. Nobody falls asleep that fast. Manny. There's Diego. Fall back. - Where's the baby? - I lost it over the falls. You lost it? - I want that baby, Diego. - I'll get it. You'd better, unless you want to serve as a replacement. We'll go up to Half Peak. Meet us there. It had better be alive. Can we trust you with that, Diego? Let's go. She picked a hair off my shoulder and says, "If you have an extra mating dance, at least pick a female with the same color pelt." I thought "Whoa. She's gonna go praying mantis on me." If you find a mate, you should be loyal. In your case, grateful. - Now get away from me. - I think mating for life is stupid. There's plenty of Sid to go around. Manny? Manny? Look at that. He's OK. She's gone. - Manny, are you forgetting something? - No. - But you just saved him. - I'm trying to get rid of the last thing I saved. But you can't leave him here. Look, there's smoke. That's his herd right up the hill. - We should return him. - Let's get this straight. There is no "we". There never was a "we". In fact, without me, there wouldn't even be a "you". - Just up the hill. - Listen very carefully: I'm not going. - Fine, be ajerk. I'll take care of him. - Yeah, that's good. You can't even take care of yourself. This, I gotta see. I'll return you. We don't need that meany-weeny mammoth, do we? No, we don't. You're an embarrassment to nature. Do you know that? This is cake. I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm gonna die. Manny. - That pink thing is mine. - No. Actually, that pink thing belongs to us. "Us"? You two are a bit of an odd couple. There is no "us". I see. Can't have one of your own, so you want to adopt. Look, I'm sorry to interrupt your snack, but we gotta go. The baby? Please. I was returning him to his herd. Oh, yeah. Nice try, bucktooth. - Callin' me a liar? - I didn't say that. You were thinkin' it. I don't like this cat. He reads minds. - Name's Diego, friend. - Manfred, and I'm not your friend. Fine, Manfred. If you're lookin' for the humans, you're wastin' your time. They left. Thanks for the advice. Now beat it. I'll help you bring it to its herd, but leave me alone after that. - OK. OK, deal. What's your problem? - You are my problem. I think you're stressed, so you eat too much. It's hard to get fat on a vegan diet. I'm not fat. It's all this fur. It makes me look poofy. All right, you have fat hair. But when you're ready to talk, I'm here. What are you doin'? Just drop it on the ledge. - We should make sure they found him. - Good idea. No, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Don't spear me. - This is a problem. - Now what? That's perfect. - I told you they were gone. - Look who it is. Don't you have some poor animal to disembowel? They couldn't be far. I mean, they went this way, or this way? You don't know much about tracking, do you? I'm a sloth. I see a tree, eat a leaf. That's my tracking. You didn't miss them by much. It's still green. They headed north two hours ago. It's still green. They headed north two hours ago. You don't need this aggravation. Give me the baby. I can track humans down a lot faster than you. And you're just a good citizen helpin' out? - I just know where the humans are going. - Glacier Pass. Everybody knows they have a settlement on the other side. Unless you know how to track, you'll never reach them before snow closes the pass. Which should be, like, tomorrow. So, you can give that baby to me, or go get lost in a blizzard. It's your choice. Here's your little bundle of joy. We're returning it to the humans. The big, bad tigey-wigey gets left behind. Poor tigey-wigey. Sid, tigey-wigey is gonna lead the way. Manny, can I talk to you for a second? No. The sooner we find the humans, the sooner I get rid of Mr Stinky Drool-Face, and the baby, too. You won't always have Jumbo around to protect you. And when that day comes, I suggest you watch your back, cos I'll be chewin' on it. Über-tracker. Up front, where I can see you. Help me. You gotta make it stop. I can't take it anymore. - I've eaten things that complained less. - He won't stop squirming. - Watch its head. - Put it down. Jeez, "pick him up, put him down..." - Its nose is dry. - That means something's wrong with it. - Someone should lick it. Just in case. - I'll do it. - He's wearing one of those baby thingies. - So? So if he poops, where does it go? - Humans are disgusting. - OK, you. Check for poop. - Why am I the poop-checker? - Returning him was your idea, you're small and insignificant, and I'll pummel you if you don't. - Why else? - Now, Sid. I mean, my goodness. Look out. Coming through. - Watch out. - Stop wavin' that thing around. I'm gonna slip. It's clean. Got ya! Will you cut it out? Do that again. He likes it. It's makin' me feel better too. Here, you hold it. Turn him towards me. Where is the baby? There he is. Where is the baby? There he is. Stop it. You're scarin' him. - I bet he's hungry. - How about some milk? - I'd love some. - Not you. The baby. I ain't exactly lactating right now, pal. - You're a little low on the food chain to... - Enough. Enough, enough, enough. Food. I don't know, but I've been told I don't know, but I've been told End of the world be mighty cold End of the world be mighty cold Prepare for the Ice age! Protect the dodo way of life! Survival separates the dodos from the beasts! Protect the dodo way of life! Prepare for the Ice age! - Ice age? - I've heard of these crackpots. - Intruders. - Now, don't fall in. - If you do, you will definitely... - Intruders. Intruder... ...burn and die. Can we have our melon back? Junior's hungry and... No way. This is our private stockpile for the Ice age. Subarctic temperatures will force us underground for a billion years. So you got three melons? If you weren't smart enough to plan ahead, then doom on you. Doom on you. Doom on you. Doom on you. - Get away from me. - Doom on you. Oh, no. No. Retrieve the melon. Tae kwon dodos, attack. - The melon. - The melon, the melon, the melon... There goes our last female. - Got it, got it, got it. - Don't got it. The last melon. Sid. Now we gotta find more food. Right, more to the right. Right, right, right. - Look at that. Dinner and a show. - Left, left, left. Now to find a meal befitting a conquering hero. What ho? A foe? Come on, come on. You want a piece of me? Spoils worthy of such a noble... Bedtime, squirt. The triumphant return. Huh? Oh, that. I'm so full. How about a good-night kiss for your big buddy, Sid? - He's asleep. - I was talking to you. Fine, I'll tuck myself in. All right, good night. Will you stop it? All right, all right. I was trying to relax. Oy. - What the...? - Slice me. It'll be the last thing you ever do. - I'm workin' here, you waste of fur. - Frustrated, Diego? Tracking down helpless infants too difficult for you? - What are you two doin' here? - Soto's getting tired of waiting. Yeah, he said "Come back with the baby, or don't come back at all." I have a message for Soto. Tell him I'm bringing the baby. And tell him I'm bringing... a mammoth. - A mammoth? - Mammoths never travel alone. This one does, and I'm leading him to Half Peak. Look at all that meat. Let's get him. Not yet. We'll need the whole pack to bring this mammoth down. Get everyone ready. Now. - Where's the baby? - You lost it? Sid. It's so ugly. Positively adorable. Hello, pumpkin. Hello, little baldy bean. - Where'd you find it? - The poor kid, all alone in the wild. Sabers were closing in on him. - So I just snatched him. - So brave. Yeah, well, he needed me, and I only wish I had one of my own, too. Really? I find that attractive in a male. Alas. Who wouldn't want a family, I always say. - Where've you been hiding? - Yeah, well, you know... Cute kid, huh? So, as I was saying, ladies... Hey. Hi, Manny. What's the matter with you? Excuse me, ladies. You just keep marinating and I'll be right back. Sexy. He's not much to look at, but it's so hard to find a family guy. Tell me about it. All the sensitive ones get eaten. No, no, no. Manny, please, I'm begging you. I need him. - A good-lookin' guy like you? - You say that, but you don't mean it. No, seriously. Look at you. Those ladies, they don't stand a chance. - You have a cruel sense of humor. - Don't let me cramp your style. - Thanks, Manny. You're a pal. - Without Pinky. Manny, I need him. So, ladies, where were we? - Carl. - Easy, Frank. Pretty tail walks by, suddenly he moves like a cheetah. And that tiger... Yeah, Mr Great Tracker. Can't even find a sloth. What am I? The wet nurse? What are you lookin' at, bone bag? Look at you. You're gonna grow into a great predator. I don't think so. What have you got? You got a little patch of fur. No fangs, no claws. You're folds of skin wrapped in mush. What's so threatening about you? Does this look like a petting zoo to you? Huh? OK. All right, wise guy. You just earned a time-out. You think that's funny? How about this? You'll be a little snack for the owls. You're a brave little squirt, I'll give you that. Thank goodness. Thank goodness. No. A tiger. Help. Help. - Where's the baby? - Manfred has him. Just put me in your mouth. Come on. Hurry up. He got me. Help. - Get away from me. - It went this way. Over here. Carl. The tiger beat us to him. Wait a minute. He's dead all right. Carnivores have all the fun. Gosh, I hate breaking their hearts like that. But you know how it is. All right, thanks. You can put me down now. Manny. Manny. Guys, I thought we were in a hurry. And Diego, spit that out. You don't know where it's been. Boy. For a second there, I thought you were gonna eat me. - I don't eatjunk food. - Thought you were gonna... I thought you were gonna... Were you? Come on, wait up. Wait up. Come on, come on. Can you wait a second, please? Fellas. Thanks for waiting. Three, two, one... Sure is faithful. - Don't make me reach back. - He started it. I don't care who started it. I'll finish it. Modern architecture. It'll never last. Hiya, Manny. Hi, Diego. Hey, Sid. - You're lost. - No. I know exactly where we are. Ask him directions. - I don't need directions. - Fine, I'll ask him. Buddy. You see any humans go by here? I love this game. I love this game. OK, OK. Three words. First word. Stomp. No, no. Stamp, stamp. Let me try. Pack. Good one, Manny. Pack of long teeth and claws. Pack of wolves? Pack of... Pack of bears? Pack of fleas? Pack of whiskers? Pack of noses? - Pachyderm? - Pack of lies. Pack of troubles. Pack a wallop. Pack of birds. Pack of flying fish. Great news. I found a shortcut. - What do you mean, shortcut? - I mean faster than the long way around. I know what a shortcut is. Either we beat the humans to Glacier Pass or we take the long way and miss 'em. Through there? What do you take me for? This time tomorrow, you could be a free mammoth. Or a nanny. I never get tired of peekaboo. Guys. Guys. Check this out. Sid, the tiger found a shortcut. No, thanks. I choose life. Then I suggest you take the shortcut. - Are you threatening me? - Move, sloth! Way to go, tiger. Quick. Get inside. OK, I vote shortcut. Guys, stick together. It's easy to get lost in here. Guys? A fish. Will you keep up, please? Hard enough to keep track of one baby. I gotcha. Captain, iceberg ahead. Oh, no. Yeah. Who's up for round two? Tell the kid to be more careful. Look, look. Tigers. No, it's OK, it's OK. Look, the tigers are just playing tag with the antelope. - With their teeth. - Come on, Sid, let's play tag. You're it. Sure. OK, OK, OK, where are the sloths? You never see any sloths. Have you ever noticed? - Look, Manny, a mammoth. - Somebody pinch me. Hey, hey, this fat one looks just like you. And he's got a family. And he's happy. Look, he's playing with his kid. See? That's your problem. That's what mammoths are supposed to do. - Sid... - Find a she-mmoth, have baby mammoths... - Sid. - What? - Shut up. - But... Would you look at that. The tiger actually did it. There's Half Peak. Next stop, Glacier Pass. - How could I ever have doubted you? - Did you hear that, little fella? You're almost home. - My feet are sweating. - Do we need a news flash - every time your body does something? - Ignore him. Seriously. My feet are really hot. Tell me that was your stomach. I'm sure it was just thunder. From underground? Come on, keep up with me. I would if you were moving. - I wish I could jump like that. - Wish granted. - Come on, move faster. - Have you noticed the river of lava? Hold Pinky. Manny. Manny, Manny, Manny, you OK? Come on, come on, say something. Anything. What? What? I can't hear you. You're standing on my trunk. - You're OK. You're OK. - Why did you do that? You could have died, trying to save me. That's what you do in a herd. You look out for each other. Well, thanks. I don't know about you guys, but we are the weirdest herd I've ever seen. I can't wait to get my claws in that mammoth. No one touches the mammoth until I get that baby. First, I'll slice its hindquarters into sections. - I'll put the white meat in one pile and... - Knock it off. I'm starving. Next, the shoulders. Occasionally tough, but extremely juicy. - I told you to knock it off. - Save your energy. Mammoths don't go down easy. There's only one way to do it. First, you have to force it into a corner. Cut off its retreat. And when you three have it trapped, I'll go for the throat. Guys, we gotta get this kid outta the wind. - How much further? - Three miles. I'm beat. We'll get there in the morning. - What are you doin'? - I'm putting sloths on the map. Why don't you make it realistic and draw him lying down? And make him rounder. - Perfect. - I forgot how to laugh. I'm a genius. From now on you'll have to refer to me as Sid, Lord of the Flame. Lord of the Flame, your tail's on fire. Thank you. From now on, I'm gonna call you Diego. Lord of "Touch Me and You're Dead". I'm just kiddin', you little knucklehead. Lovebirds. Look at this. I don't believe it. Come here, you little biped. Come here, you little wormy-worm. Come to Uncle Sid. No, no, no, no, no, no. This way. This way. No, no, no. No, go to him. Go to him. OK. Good job. Keep practicin'. Look at that. Our little guy is growing up. All right, come on. Sleep time, lumpy. Look at that big pushover. You know, Diego, I've never had a friend who would risk his life for me. Yeah, Manny's... he's a good guy. Yeah, he is. Well, good night. Let's get you all cleaned up. What's your daddy gonna say if you go back all stinky? Let me just clean that up. That looks good. A little bit here. - You clean up nice, little fella. - I think he's starting to look like me. Diego, what do you think? - Maybe we shouldn't do this. - Why not? If we save him, he'll be a hunter. And who do you think he'll hunt? Maybe because we save him, he won't hunt us. Yeah, and maybe he'll grow fur and a long skinny neck and call you Mama. - What's your problem? - Nothing. Let's go. I'm freezing my tail off. Diego. You frozen back there? - Get down. - What? - Get down and follow me. - What's goin' on? At the bottom of Half Peak, there's an ambush waiting for you. - What? - What do you mean, "ambush"? - You set us up. - It was my job. - I was to get the baby, but then... - You brought us home for dinner. - That's it. You're out of the herd. - I'm sorry. No, you're not. Not yet. - Listen, I can help you. - Stay close, Sid. We can fight our way out. You can't. The pack's too strong. You have to trust me. Trust you? Why in the world would we trust you? Because I'm your only chance. Hello, ladies. - Look who decided to show up. - Diego, I was beginning to worry about you. No need to worry. In about two minutes you'll be satisfying your taste for revenge. Very nice. I see the sloth. And he's got the baby. Don't give away your positions until you see the mammoth. He's the one to surprise. You want to maul something, don't you? - I wanna maul. - Then what are you waiting for? No, I said wait for the mammoth. Backscratcher. Eat my powder! Loop-de-loop. Slalom! Slalom, baby! Sorry, fellas. He got a little frostbite. Get him. Surprise! OK, follow me. We'll pick up Sid and get outta here while we can. Come on, Diego, let's bring this mammoth down. There he is. That's right. Where's the baby? Survival of the fittest. I don't think so. Yeah. - What are you doing? - Leave the mammoth alone. Fine. I'll take you down first. We did it. We were some team, huh? Were? Come on, we're still a team. I'm sorry I set you up. You know me - I'm too lazy to hold a grudge. Knock it off, squirt. You gotta be strong. You have to take care of Manfred and Sid. Especially Sid. Come on, you can lick this. You're a tiger. Look, I'll carry you. Come on, what do you say? Come on, Diego, come on. Tell him he's going to be OK, Manny. Listen, you have to leave me here. If those humans get through the pass, you'll never catch them. You didn't have to do that. That's what you do in a herd. Don't forget about us. OK? We won't forget about you. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. - Sid... - Bye. Bye. That's right. Where's the baby? Come on, Sid, let's head south. Bye. Save your breath, Sid. You know humans can't talk. Diego? You're OK. - Nine lives, baby. - You're OK. You're OK. I could kiss ya. Welcome back, partner. Wanna lift? No thanks. I gotta save whatever dignity I've got left. You're hanging out with us. Dignity's got nothing to do with it. I'll take that lift. - Yeah, climb aboard. - Pick me up, buddy. Mush. Or not mush. Either way. This is gonna be the best migration ever. I'll show you my favorite watering holes. I turn brown when the fungus in my fur dries. - Attractive. - This whole Ice age thing is getting old. You know what I could go for? Global warming. - Keep dreamin'. - No, really... Special help by SergeiKAdd comment The GodfatherINT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945) The PARAMOUNT Logo is presented austerely over a black background. There is a moment's hesitation, and then the simple words in white lettering: THE GODFATHER While this remains, we hear: "I believe in America." Suddenly we are watching in CLOSE VIEW, AMERIGO BONASERA, a man of sixty, dressed in a black suit, on the verge of great emotion. BONASERA America has made my fortune. As he speaks, THE VIEW imperceptibly begins to loosen. BONASERA I raised my daughter in the American fashion; I gave her freedom, but taught her never to dishonor her family. She found a boy friend, not an Italian. She went to the movies with him, stayed out late. Two months ago he took her for a drive, with another boy friend. They made her drink whiskey and then they tried to take advantage of her. She resisted; she kept her honor. So they beat her like an animal. When I went to the hospital her nose was broken, her jaw was shattered and held together by wire, and she could not even weep because of the pain. He can barely speak; he is weeping now. BONASERA I went to the Police like a good American. These two boys were arrested and brought to trial. The judge sentenced them to three years in prison, and suspended the sentence. Suspended sentence! They went free that very day. I stood in the courtroom like a fool, and those bastards, they smiled at me. Then I said to my wife, for Justice, we must go to The Godfather. By now, THE VIEW is full, and we see Don Corleone's office in his home. The blinds are closed, and so the room is dark, and with patterned shadows. We are watching BONASERA over the shoulder of DON CORLEONE. TOM HAGEN sits near a small table, examining some paperwork, and SONNY CORLEONE stands impatiently by the window nearest his father, sipping from a glass of wine. We can HEAR music, and the laughter and voices of many people outside. DON CORLEONE Bonasera, we know each other for years, but this is the first time you come to me for help. I don't remember the last time you invited me to your house for coffee...even though our wives are friends. BONASERA What do you want of me? I'll give you anything you want, but do what I ask! DON CORLEONE And what is that Bonasera? BONASERA whispers into the DON's ear. DON CORLEONE No. You ask for too much. BONASERA I ask for Justice. DON CORLEONE The Court gave you justice. BONASERA An eye for an eye! DON CORLEONE But your daughter is still alive. BONASERA Then make them suffer as she suffers. How much shall I pay you. Both HAGEN and SONNY react. DON CORLEONE You never think to protect yourself with real friends. You think it's enough to be an American. All right, the Police protects you, there are Courts of Law, so you don't need a friend like me. But now you come to me and say Don Corleone, you must give me justice. And you don't ask in respect or friendship. And you don't think to call me Godfather; instead you come to my house on the day my daughter is to be married and you ask me to do murder...for money. BONASERA America has been good to me... DON CORLEONE Then take the justice from the judge, the bitter with the sweet, Bonasera. But if you come to me with your friendship, your loyalty, then your enemies become my enemies, and then, believe me, they would fear you... Slowly, Bonasera bows his head and murmurs. BONASERA Be my friend. DON CORLEONE Good. From me you'll get Justice. BONASERA Godfather. DON CORLEONE Some day, and that day may never come, I would like to call upon you to do me a service in return. EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945) A HIGH ANGLE of the CORLEONE MALL in bright daylight. There are at least five hundred guests filling the main courtyard and gardens. There is music and laughing and dancing and countless tables covered with food and wine. DON CORLEONE stands at the Gate, flanked on either side by a son: FREDO and SONNY, all dressed in the formal attire of the wedding party. He warmly shakes the hands, squeezes the hands of the friends and guests, pinches the cheeks of the children, and makes them all welcome. They in turn carry with them gallons of homemade wine, cartons of freshly baked bread and pastries, and enormous trays of Italian delicacies. The entire family poses for a family portrait: DON CORLEONE, MAMA, SONNY, his wife, SANDRA, and their children, TOM HAGEN and his wife, THERESA, and their BABY; CONSTANZIA, the bride, and her bridegroom, CARLO RIZZI. As they move into the pose, THE DON seems preoccupied. DON CORLEONE Where's Michael? SONNY He'll be here Pop, it's still early. DON CORLEONE Then the picture will wait for him. Everyone in the group feels the uneasiness as the DON moves back to the house. SONNY gives a delicious smile in the direction of the Maid-of-Honor, LUCY MANCINI. She returns it. Then he moves to his wife. SONNY Sandra, watch the kids. They're running wild. SANDRA You watch yourself. HAGEN kisses his WIFE, and follows THE DON, passing the wine barrels, where a group of FOUR MEN nervously wait. TOM crooks a finger at NAZORINE, who doublechecks that he is next, straightens, and follows HAGEN. EXT DAY: MALL ENTRANCE (SUMMER 1945) Outside the main gate of the Mall, SEVERAL MEN in suits, working together with a MAN in a dark sedan, walk in and out of the rows of parked cars, writing license plate numbers down in their notebooks. We HEAR the music and laughter coming from the party in the distance. A MAN stops at a limousine and copies down the number. BARZINI, dignified in a black homburg, is always under the watchful eyes of TWO BODYGUARDS as he makes his way to embrace DON CORLEONE in the courtyard. The MEN walk down another row of parked cars. Put another number in the notebook. A shiney new Cadillac with wooden bumpers. PETER CLEMENZA, dancing the Tarantella joyously, bumping bellies with the ladies. CLEMENZA Paulie...wine...WINE. He mops his sweating forehead with a big handkerchief. PAULIE hustles, gets a glass of icy black wine, and brings it to him. PAULIE You look terrif on the floor! CLEMENZA What are you, a dance judge? Go do your job; take a walk around the neighborhood... see everything is okay. PAULIE nods and leaves; CLEMENZA takes a breath, and leaps back into the dance. The MEN walk down another row of parked cars. Put another number in the notebook. TESSIO, a tall, gentle-looking man, dances with a NINE-YEAR- OLD GIRL, her little black party shoes planted on his enormous brown shoes. The MEN move on to other parked cars, when SONNY storms out of the gate, his face flushed with anger, followed by CLEMENZA and PAULIE. SONNY Buddy, this is a private party. The MAN doesn't answer, but points to the DRIVER of the sedan. SONNY menacingly thrusts his reddened face at him. The DRIVER merely flips open his wallet to a greed card, without saying a word. SONNY steps back, spits on the ground, turns, and walks away, followed by CLEMENZA, PAULIE, and another TWO MEN. He doesn't say a thing for most of the walk back into the courtyard, and then, muttered to PAULIE. SONNY Goddamn FBI...don't respect nothing. INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945) DON CORLEONE sits quietly behind his massive desk in the dark study. NAZORINE ...a fine boy from Sicily, captured by the American Army, and sent to New Jersey as a prisoner of war... DON CORLEONE Nazorine, my friend, tell me what I can do. NAZORINE Now that the war is over, Enzo, this boy is being repatriated to Italy. And you see, Godfather... (he wrings his hands, unable to express himself) He...my daughter...they... DON CORLEONE You want him to stay in this country. NAZORINE Godfather, you understand everything. DON CORLEONE Tom, what we need is an Act of Congress to allow Enzo to become a citizen. NAZORINE (impressed) An Act of Congress! HAGEN (nodding) It will cost. The DON shrugs; such are the way with those things; NAZORINE nods. NAZORINE Is that all? Godfather, thank you... (backing out, enthusiastically) Oh, wait till you see the cake I made for your beautiful daughter! NAZORINE backs out, all smiles, and nods to the GODFATHER. DON CORLEONE rises and moves to the Venetian blinds. HAGEN Who do I give this job to? The DON moves to the windows, peeking out through the blinds. DON CORLEONE Not to one of our paisans...give it to a Jew Congressman in another district. Who else is on the list for today? The DON is peeking out to the MEN around the barrel, waiting to see him. HAGEN Francesco Nippi. His nephew has been refused parole. A bad case. EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945) WHAT HE SEES: NIPPI waits nervously by the barrel. HAGEN (O.S.) His father worked with you in the freight yards when you were young. LUCA BRASI sitting alone, grotesque and quiet. HAGEN (O.S.) He's not on the list, but Luca Brasi wants to see you. INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945) The DON turns to HAGEN. DON CORLEONE Is it necessary? HAGEN You understand him better than anyone. The DON nods to this. Turns back to the blinds and peeks out. EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945) WHAT HE SEES: MICHAEL CORLEONE, dressed in the uniform of a Marine Captain, leads KAY ADAMS through the wedding crowd, occasionally stopped and greeted by FRIENDS of the family. INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945) The DON, inside the office, peering through the blinds, following them. EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945) MICHAEL moves through the crowd, embraces MAMA and introduces her to his GIRL. EXT DAY: OFFICE WINDOW (SUMMER 1945) The DON's eyes peering through the blinds. EXT DAY: MALL TABLES (SUMMER 1945) KAY and MICHAEL settle by a table on the edge of the wedding, burdened down with plates of food and glasses and wine. She is exhilarated by the enormity of the affair, the music and the vitality. KAY I've never seen anything like it. MICHAEL I told you I had a lot of relatives. KAY looking about, a young and lively thing in a gift shop. We see what she sees: Her interest is caught by THREE MEN standing by the wine barrels. KAY (amused) Michael, what are those men doing? MICHAEL They're waiting to see my father. KAY They're talking to themselves. MICHAEL They're going to talk to my father, which means they're going to ask him for something, which means they better get it right. KAY Why do they bother him on a day like this? MICHAEL Because they know that no Sicilian will refuse a request on his daughter's wedding day. EXT DAY: WEDDING PARTY (SUMMER 1945) CONNIE CORLEONE, the Bride, is pressing the bodice of her overly-fluffy white gown against the groom, CARLO RIZZI. He is bronzed, with curly blondish hair and lovely dimples. She absolutely adores him and can barely take her eyes from him long enough to thank the various GUESTS for the white envelopes they are putting into the large white purse she holds. In fact, if we watch carefully, we can see that one of her hands is slid under his jacket, and into his shirt, where she is provocatively rubbing the hair on his chest. CARLO, on the other hand, has his blue eyes trained on the bulging envelopes, and is trying to guess how much cash the things hold. Discreetly, he moves her hand off of his skin. CARLO (whispered) Cut it out, Connie. The purse, looped by a ribbon of silk around CONNIE's arm, is fat with money. PAULIE (O.S.) What do you think? Twenty grand? A little distance away, a young man, PAULIE GATTO, catches a prosciutto sandwich thrown by a friend, without once taking eyes from the purse. PAULIE Who knows? Maybe more. Twenty, thirty grand in small bills cash in that silk purse. Holy Toledo, if this was somebody else's wedding! SONNY is sitting at the Wedding Dias, talking to LUCY MANCINI, the Maid of Honor. Every once in a while he glances across the courtyard, where his WIFE is talking with some WOMEN. He bends over and whispers something into LUCY's ear. SANDRA and the WOMEN are in the middle of a big, ribald laugh. WOMAN Is it true what they say about your husband, Sandra? SANDRA's hands separate with expanding width further and further apart until she bursts into a peal of laughter. Through her separated hands she sees the Wedding Dais. SONNY and LUCY are gone. INT DAY: DON'S HALL & STAIRS (SUMMER 1945) The empty hallway. The bathroom door opens and LUCY surreptitiously steps out. She looks up where SONNY is standing on the second landing, motioning for her to come up. She lifts her petticoats off the ground and hurries upstairs. EXT DAY: MALL TABLES (SUMMER 1945) KAY and MICHAEL. KAY (in a spooky low tone) Michael, that scarey guy...Is he a relative? She has picked out LUCA BRASI. MICHAEL No. His name is Luca Brasi. You wouldn't like him. KAY (Excited) Who is he? MICHAEL (Sizing her up) You really want to know? KAY Yes. Tell me. MICHAEL You like spaghetti? KAY You know I love spaghetti. MICHAEL Then eat your spaghetti and I'll tell you a Luca Brasi story. She starts to eat her spaghetti. She begins eating, looking at him eagerly. MICHAEL Once upon a time, about fifteen years ago some people wanted to take over my father's olive oil business. They had Al Capone send some men in from Chicago to kill my father, and they almost did. KAY Al Capone! MICHAEL My Father sent Luca Brasi after them. He tied the two Capone men hand and foot, and stuffed small bath towels into their mouths. Then he took an ax, and chopped one man's feet off... KAY Michael... MICHAEL Then the legs at the knees... KAY Michael you're trying to scare me... MICHAEL Then the thighs where they joined the torso. KAY Michael, I don't want to hear anymore... MICHAEL Then Luca turned to the other man... KAY Michael, I love you. MICHAEL ...who out of sheer terror had swallowed the bath towel in his mouth and suffocated. The smile on his face seems to indicate that he is telling a tall story. KAY I never know when you're telling me the truth. MICHAEL I told you you wouldn't like him. KAY He's coming over here! LUCA comes toward them to meet TOM HAGEN halfway, just near their table. MICHAEL Tom...Tom, I'd like you to meet Kay Adams. KAY (having survived LUCA) How do you do. MICHAEL My brother, Tom Hagen. HAGEN Hello Kay. Your father's inside, doing some business. (privately) He's been asking for you. MICHAEL Thanks Tom. HAGEN smiles and moves back to the house, LUCA ominously following. KAY If he's your brother, why does he have a different name? MICHAEL My brother Sonny found him living in the streets when he was a kid, so my father took him in. He's a good lawyer. INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945) DON CORLEONE at the window. He has seen the intimacy of the YOUNG COUPLE. LUCA (O.S.) Don Corleone... THE DON turns to the stiffly formal LUCA, and he moves forward to kiss his hand. He takes the envelope from his jacket, holds it out, but does not release it until he makes a formal speech. LUCA (with difficulty) Don Corleone...I am honored, and grateful...that you invited me to your home...on the wedding day of your...daughter. May their first child...be a masculine child. I pledge my never ending loyalty. (he offers the envelope) For your daughter's bridal purse. DON CORLEONE Thank you, Luca, my most valued friend. THE DON takes it, and then LUCA's hand, which he squeezes so tightly we might imagine it to be painful. LUCA Let me leave you, Don Corleone. I know you are busy. He turns, almost an about-face, and leaves the study with the same formality he entered with. DON CORLEONE breathes more easily, and gives the thick envelope to HAGEN. DON CORLEONE I'm sure it's the most generous gift today. HAGEN The Senator called--apologized for not coming personally, but said you'd understand. Also, some of the Judges...they've all sent gifts. And another call from Virgil Sollozzo. DON CORLEONE is not pleased. HAGEN The action is narcotics. Sollozzo has contacts in Turkey for the poppy, in Sicily for the plants to process down to morphine or up to heroin. Also he has access to this country. He's coming to us for financial help, and some sort of immunity from the law. For that we get a piece of the action, I couldn't find out how much. Sollozzo is vouched for by the Tattaglia family, and they may have a piece of the action. They call Sollozzo the Turk. He's spent a lot of time in Turkey and is suppose to have a Turkish wife and kids. He's suppose to be very quick with the knife, or was, when he was younger. Only in matters of business and with some reasonable complaint. Also he has an American wife and three children and he is a good family man. THE DON nods. HAGEN He's his own boss, and very competent. DON CORLEONE And with prison record. HAGEN Two terms; one in Italy, one in the United States. He's known to the Government as a top narcotics man. That could be a plus for us; he could never get immunity to testify. DON CORLEONE When did he call? HAGEN This morning. DON CORLEONE On a day like this. Consiglero, do you also have in your notes the the Turk made his living from Prostitution before the war, like the Tattaglias do now. Write that down before you forget it. The Turk will wait. We now begin to hear a song coming over the loud-speakers from outside. In Italian, with unmistakable style. DON CORLEONE What that? It sounds like Johnny. He moves to the window, pulls the blinds up, flooding the room with light. DON CORLEONE It is Johnny. He came all the way from California to be at the wedding. HAGEN Should I bring him in. DON CORLEONE No. Let the people enjoy him. You see? He is a good godson. HAGEN It's been two years. He's probably in trouble again. EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945) JOHNNY FONTANE on the bandstand, singing to the delight and excitement of the wedding GUESTS. KAY I didn't know your family knew Johnny Fontane. MICHAEL Sure. KAY I used to come down to New York whenever he sang at the Capitol and scream my head off. MICHAEL He's my father's godson; he owes him his whole career. JOHNNY finishes the song and the CROWD screams with delight. They call out for another when DON CORLEONE appears. DON CORLEONE My Godson has come three thousand miles to do us honor and no one thinks to wet his throat. At once a dozen wine glasses are offered to JOHNNY, who takes a sip from each as he moves to embrace his GODFATHER. JOHNNY I kept trying to call you after my divorce and Tom always said you were busy. When I got the Wedding invitation I knew you weren't sore at me anymore, Godfather. DON CORLEONE Can I do something for you still? You're not too rich, or too famous that I can't help you? JOHNNY I'm not rich anymore, Godfather, and...my career, I'm almost washed up... He's very disturbed. The GODFATHER indicates that he come with him to the office so no one will notice. He turns to HAGEN. DON CORLEONE Tell Santino to come in with us. He should hear some things. They go, leaving HAGEN scanning the party looking for SONNY. INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945) HAGEN glances up the staircase. HAGEN Sonny? Then he goes up. INT DAY: DON'S UPSTAIRS ROOM (SUMMER 1945) SONNY and LUCY are in a room upstairs; he has lifted her gown's skirts almost over her head, and has her standing against the door. Her face peeks out from the layers of petticoats around it like a flower in ecstasy. LUCY Sonnyeeeeeeee. Her head bouncing against the door with the rhythm of his body. But there is a knocking as well. They stop, freeze in that position. HAGEN (O.S.) Sonny? Sonny, you in there? INT DAY: DON'S UPSTAIRS HALLWAY (SUMMER 1945) Outside, HAGEN by the door. HAGEN The old man wants you; Johnny's here...he's got a problem. SONNY (O.S.) Okay. One minute. HAGEN hesitates. We HEAR LUCY's head bouncing against the door again. TOM leaves. INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945) DON CORLEONE ACT LIKE A MAN! By Christ in Heaven, is it possible you turned out no better than a Hollywood finocchio. Both HAGEN and JOHNNY cannot refrain from laughing. The DON smiles. SONNY enters as noiselessly as possible, still adjusting his clothes. DON CORLEONE All right, Hollywood...Now tell me about this Hollywood Pezzonovanta who won't let you work. JOHNNY He owns the studio. Just a month ago he bought the movie rights to this book, a best seller. And the main character is a guy just like me. I wouldn't even have to act, just be myself. The DON is silent, stern. DON CORLEONE You take care of your family? JOHNNY Sure. He glances at SONNY, who makes himself as inconspicuous as he can. DON CORLEONE You look terrible. I want you to eat well, to rest. And spend time with your family. And then, at the end of the month, this big shot will give you the part you want. JOHNNY It's too late. All the contracts have been signed, they're almost ready to shoot. DON CORLEONE I'll make him an offer he can't refuse. He takes JOHNNY to the door, pinching his cheek hard enough to hurt. DON CORLEONE Now go back to the party and leave it to me. He closes the door, smiling to himself. Turns to HAGEN. DON CORLEONE When does my daughter leave with her bridegroom? HAGEN They'll cut the cake in a few minutes...leave right after that. Your new son-in-law, do we give him something important? DON CORLEONE No, give him a living. But never let him know the family's business. What else, Tom? HAGEN I've called the hospital; they've notified Consiglere Genco's family to come and wait. He won't last out the night. This saddens the DON. He sighs. DON CORLEONE Genco will wait for me. Santino, tell your brothers they will come with me to the hospital to see Genco. Tell Fredo to drive the big car, and ask Johnny to come with us. SONNY And Michael? DON CORLEONE All my sons. (to HAGEN) Tom, I want you to go to California tonight. Make the arrangements. But don't leave until I come back from the hospital and speak to you. Understood? HAGEN Understood. EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945) Now all the wedding GUESTS excitedly clap their hands over the entrance of the cake: NAZORINE is beaming as he wheels in a serving table containing the biggest, gaudiest, most extravagant wedding cake ever baked, an incredible monument of his gratitude. The CROWD is favorably impressed: they begin to clink their knives or forks against their glasses, in the traditional request for the Bride to cut the cake and kiss the Groom. Louder and louder, five hundred forks hitting five hundred glasses. EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945) Silence. HIGH ANGLE ON THE MALL, late day. The GUESTS are gone. A single black car is in the courtyard. FREDDIE is behind the driver's seat: the DON enters the car, looks at MICHAEL, who sits between SONNY and JOHNNY in the rear seat. DON CORLEONE Will your girl friend get back to the city all right? MICHAEL Tom said he'd take care of it. The DON pulls the door shut; and the car pulls out, through the gate of the great Corleone Mall. INT DAY: HOSPITAL CORRIDOR (SUMMER 1945) A long white hospital corridor, at the end of which we can see a grouping of FIVE WOMEN, some old and some young, but all plump and dressed in black. DON CORLEONE and his SONS move toward the end. But then the DON slows, putting his hand on MICHAEL's shoulder. MICHAEL stops and turns toward his FATHER. The two looks at one another for some time. SILENCE. DON CORLEONE then lifts his hand, and slowly touches a particular medal on MICHAEL's uniform. DON CORLEONE What was this for? MICHAEL For bravery. DON CORLEONE And this? MICHAEL For killing a man. DON CORLEONE What miracles you do for strangers. MICHAEL I fought for my country. It was my choice. DON CORLEONE And now, what do you choose to do? MICHAEL I'm going to finish school. DON CORLEONE Good. When you are finished, come and talk to me. I have hopes for you. Again they regard each other without a word. MICHAEL turns, and continues on. DON CORLEONE watches a moment, and then follows. INT DAY: HOSPITAL ROOM (SUMMER 1945) DON CORLEONE enters the hospital room, moving closest to OUR VIEW. He is followed by his SONS, JOHNNY and the WOMEN. DON CORLEONE (whispered) Genco, I've brought my sons to pay their respects. And look, even Johnny Fontane, all the way from Hollywood. GENCO is a tiny, wasted skeleton of a man. DON CORLEONE takes his bony hand, as the others arrange themselves around his bed, each clasping the other hand in turn. GENCO Godfather, Godfather, it's your daughter's wedding day, you cannot refuse me. Cure me, you have the power. DON CORLEONE I have no such power...but Genco, don't fear death. GENCO (with a sly wink) It's been arranged, then? DON CORLEONE You blaspheme. Resign yourself. GENCO You need your old Consigliere. Who will replace me? (suddenly) Stay with me Godfather. Help me meet death. If he sees you, he will be frightened and leave me in peace. You can say a word, pull a few strings, eh? We'll outwit that bastard as we outwitted all those others. (clutching his hand) Godfather, don't betray me. The DON motions all the others to leave the room. They do. He returns his attention to GENCO, holding his hand and whispering things we cannot hear, as they wait for death. INT NIGHT: AIRPLANE (SUMMER 1945) FADE IN: The interior of a non-stop Constellation. HAGEN is one of the very few passengers on this late flight. He looks like any young lawyer on a business trip. He is tired from the difficult preparation and duties that he has just executed during the wedding. On the seat next to him is an enormous, bulging briefcase. He closes his eyes. INT NIGHT: HONEYMOON HOTEL (SUMMER 1945) The honeymoon hotel: CARLO and CONNIE. CARLO is in his undershorts, sitting up on the bed, anxiously taking the envelopes out of the silk bridal purse and counting the contents. CONNIE prepares herself in the large marble bathroom. She rubs her hands over his bronze shoulders, and tries to get his interest. INT NIGHT: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945) DON CORLEONE in his office. LUCA BRASI sitting near to him. DON CORLEONE Luca, I am worried about this man Sollozzo. Find out what you can, through the Tattaglias. Let them believe you could be tempted away from the Corleone Family, if the right offer was made. Learn what he has under his fingernails... INT NIGHT: MANCINI APT. HALL (SUMMER 1945) The hallway of an apartment building. SONNY enters, climbs two steps at a time. He knocks, and then whispers. SONNY It's me, Sonny. The door opens, and two lovely arms are around him, pulling him into the apartment. INT NIGHT: LUCA'S ROOM (WINTER 1945) LUCA BRASI's tiny room. He is partly dressed. He kneels and reaches under his bed and pulls out a small, locked trunk. He opens it, and takes out a heavy, bullet-proof vest. He puts it on, over his wool undershirt, and then puts on his shirt and jacket. He takes his gun, quickly disassembles, checks, and reassembles it. And leaves. INT NIGHT: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945) A CLOSE VIEW of DON CORLEONE thinking quietly. INT NIGHT: MOVING TRAIN (SUMMER 1945) MICHAEL and KAY on a train, speeding on their way to New Hampshire. INT NIGHT: SUBWAY (WINTER 1945) LUCA, in his bulky jacket, sitting quietly on an empty subway train. INT NIGHT: AIRPLANE (SUMMER 1945) HAGEN on the Constellation. He reaches into his briefcase, and takes out several pictures and papers. One photograph is of a smiling man, JACK WOLTZ, linked arm in arm with fifteen movie stars on either side, including a lovely young child star to his immediate right. HAGEN considers other papers. INT NIGHT: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945) DON CORLEONE looks, and then moves HAGEN into an embrace. He straightens his arms and looks at TOM deeply. DON CORLEONE Remember my new Consigliere, a lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. EXT DAY: WOLTZ ESTATE GATE (SUMMER 1945) JACK WOLTZ ESTATE. HAGEN stands before the impressive gate, armed only with his briefcase. A GATEMAN opens the gate, and TOM enters. EXT DAY: WOLTZ GARDENS (SUMMER 1945) HAGEN and WOLTZ comfortably stroll along beautiful formal gardens, martinis in hand. WOLTZ You should have told me your boss was Corleone, Tom, I had to check you out. I thought you were just some third rate hustler Johnny was running in to bluff me. (a piece of statuary) Florence, thirteenth century. Decorated the garden of a king. They cross the garden and head toward the stables. WOLTZ I'm going to show you something beautiful. They pass the stables, and come to rest by a stall with a huge bronze plaque attached to the outside wall: "KHARTOUM." TWO SECURITY GUARDS are positioned in chairs nearby; they rise as WOLTZ approaches. WOLTZ You like horses? I like horses, I love 'em. Beautiful, expensive Racehorses. The animal inside is truly beautiful. WOLTZ whispers to him with true love in his voice. WOLTZ Khartoum...Kartoum...You are looking at six hundred thousand dollars on four hoofs. I bet even Russian Czars never paid that kind of dough for a single horse. But I'm not going to race him I'm going to put him out to Stud. INT NIGHT: WOLTZ DINING ROOM (SUMMER 1945) HAGEN and WOLTZ sit at an enormous dining room table, attended by SEVERAL SERVANTS. Great paintings hang on the walls. The meal is elaborate and sumptuous. HAGEN Mr. Corleone is Johnny's Godfather. That is very close, a very sacred religious relationship. WOLTZ Okay, but just tell him this is one favor I can't give. But he should try me again on anything else. HAGEN He never asks a second favor when he has been refused the first. Understood? WOLTZ You smooth son of a bitch, let me lay it on the line for you, and your boss. Johnny Fontane never gets that movie. I don't care how many Dago, Guinea, wop Greaseball Goombahs come out of the woodwork! HAGEN I'm German-Irish. WOLTZ Okay my Kraut-Mick friend, Johnny will never get that part because I hate that pinko punk and I'm going to run him out of the Movies. And I'll tell you why. He ruined one of Woltz Brothers' most valuable proteges. For five years I had this girl under training; singing lessons! Acting lessons! Dancing lessons! We spent hundreds of thousands of dollars--I was going to make her a star. I'll be even more frank, just to show you that I'm not a hard-hearted man, that it wasn't all dollars and cents. That girl was beautiful and young and innocent and she was the greatest piece of ass I've ever ad and I've had them all over the world. Then Johnny comes along with that olive oil voice and guinea charm and she runs off. She threw it all away to make me look ridiculous. A MAN IN MY POSITION CANNOT AFFORD TO BE MADE TO LOOK RIDICULOUS! EXT DAY: GENCO OLIVE OIL CO. (SUMMER 1945) An unimposing little building in New York City on Mott Street with a large old sign: "GENCO OLIVE OIL IMPORTS, INC." next to an open-faced fruit market. A dark Buick pulls up, and a single small man, whom we cannot see well because of the distance, gets out and enters the building. This is VIRGIL SOLLOZZO. INT DAY: OLIVE OIL OFFICES (SUMMER 1945) Looking toward the staircase we can hear SOLLOZZO's footsteps before he actually rises into view. He is a small man, very dark, with curly black hair. But wiry, and tight and hard, and obviously very dangerous. He is greeted at the head of the stairs by SONNY, who takes his hand and shakes it, introducing himself. For a moment, there is a complex of handshaking quite formal, and whispered respectful introductions. Finally, SOLLOZZO is taken into the DON's glass paneled office; the two principals are introduced. They are very respectful of one another. Folding chairs are brought in by FREDDIE, and soon they are all sitting around in a circle; the DON, SOLLOZZO, SONNY, HAGEN, FREDDIE, CLEMENZA and TESSIO. The DON is the slightest bit foolish with all his compatriots, whereas SOLLOZZO has brought no one. Throughout all that transpires, however, it is clear that this scene is between two men: SOLLOZZO and DON CORLEONE. SOLLOZZO My business is heroin, I have poppy fields, laboratories in Narseilles and Sicily, ready to go into production. My importing methods are as safe as these things can be, about five per cent loss. The risk is nothing, the profits enormous. DON CORLEONE Why do you come to me? Why do I deserve your generosity? SOLLOZZO I need two million dollars in cash...more important, I need a friend who has people in high places; a friend who can guarantee that if one of my employees be arrested, they would get only light sentences. Be my friend. DON CORLEONE What percentages for my family? SOLLOZZO Thirty per cent. In the first year your share would be four million dollars; then it would go up. DON CORLEONE And what is the percentage of the Tattaglia family? SOLLOZZO nods toward HAGEN. SOLLOZZO My compliments. I'll take care of them from my share. DON CORLEONE So. I receive 30 per cent just for finance and legal protection. No worries about operations, is that what you tell me? SOLLOZZO If you think two million dollars in cash is just finance, I congratulate you Don Corleone. There is a long silence; in which each person present feels the tension. The DON is about to give his answer. DON CORLEONE I said I would see you because I've heard you're a serious man, to be treated with respect... (pause) But I'll say no to you. We feel this around the room. DON CORLEONE I'll give you my reasons. I have many, many friends in Politics. But they wouldn't be so friendly if my business was narcotics instead of gambling. They think gambling is something like liquor, a harmless vice...and they think narcotics is dirty business. SOLLOZZO takes a breath. DON CORLEONE No...how a man makes his living is none of my business. But this proposition of yours is too risky. All the people in my family lived well the last ten years, I won't risk that out of greed. SOLLOZZO Are you worried about security for your million? DON CORLEONE No. SOLLOZZO The Tattaglias will guarantee your investment also. This startles SONNY; he blurts out. SONNY The Tattaglia family guarantees our investment? SOLLOZZO hears him first, and then very slowly turns to face him. Everyone is the room knows that SONNY has stepped out of line. DON CORLEONE Young people are greedy, and they have no manners. They speak when they should listen. But I have a sentimental weakness for my children, and I've spoiled them, as you see. But Signor Sollozzo, my no is final. SOLLOZZO nods, understands that this is the dismissal. He glances one last time at SONNY. He rises; all the others do as well. He bows to the DON, shakes his hand, and formally takes his leave. When the footsteps can no longer be heard: The DON turns to SONNY. DON CORLEONE Santino, never let anyone outside the family know what you are thinking. I think your brain is going soft from all that comedy you play with that young girl. TWO OFFICE WORKERS are carrying an enormous floral display with the word "THANK YOU" spelled out in flowers. DON CORLEONE What is this nonsense? HAGEN It's from Johnny. It was announced this morning. He's going to play the lead in the new Woltz Brothers film. INT DAY: WOLTZ'S BEDROOM (SUMMER 1945) It is large, dominated by a huge bed, in which a man, presumably WOLTZ, is sleeping. Soft light bathes the room from the large windows. We move closer to him until we see his face, and recognize JACK WOLTZ. He turns uncomfortably; mutters, feels something strange in his bedsheets. Something wet. He wakens, feels the sheets with displeasure; they are wet. He looks at his hand; the wetness is blood. He is frightened, pulls aside the covers, and sees fresh blood on his sheets and pajamas. He grunts, pulls the puddle of blood in his bed. He feels his own body frantically, moving, down, following the blood, until he is face to face with the great severed head of Khartoum lying at the foot of his bed. Just blood from the hacked neck. White reedy tendons show. He struggles up to his elbows in the puddle of blood to see more clearly. Froth covers the muzzle, and the enormous eyes of the animal are yellowed and covered with blood. WOLTZ tries to scream; but cannot. No sound comes out. Then, finally and suddenly an ear-splitting scream of pure terror escapes from WOLTZ, who is rocking on his hands and knees in an uncontrolled fit, blood all over him. INT DAY: OLIVE OIL OFFICES (SUMMER 1945) CLOSE VIEW on the GODFATHER. Nodding. DON CORLEONE Send Johnny my congratulations. ----------------------------------------FADE OUT-------- (SCENES 12 & 12 OMITTED) FADE IN: EXT DAY: FIFTH AVENUE (WINTER 1945) Fifth Avenue in the snow. Christmas week. People are bundled up with rosy faces, rushing to buy presents. KAY and MICHAEL exit a Fifth Avenue department store, carrying a stack of gaily wrapped gifts, arm in arm. KAY We have something for your mother, for Sonny, we have the tie for Fredo and Tom Hagen gets the Reynolds pen... MICHAEL And what do you want for Christmas? KAY Just you. They kiss. INT DAY: HOTEL ROOM (WINTER 1945) CLOSE ON a wooden radio, playing quiet Music. THE VIEW PANS AROUND the dark hotel room, curtained against the daylight. MICHAEL (O.S.) We'll have a quiet, civil ceremony at the City Hall, no big fuss, no family, just a couple of friends as witnesses. The two are in each other's arms in a mess of bedsheets on the two single beds that they have pushed together. KAY What will your father say? MICHAEL As long as I tell him beforehand he won't object. He'll be hurt, but he won't object. KAY What time do they expect us? MICHAEL For dinner. Unless I call and tell them we're still in New Hampshire. KAY Michael. MICHAEL Then we can have dinner, see a show, and spend one more night. He moves to the telephone. MICHAEL (CONT'D.) Operator. Get me (fill in number) KAY Michael, what are you doing? MICHAEL Shhh, you be the long distance operator. Here. KAY Hello...this is Long Distance. I have a call from New Hampshire. Mr. Michael Corleone. One moment please. She hands the phone to MICHAEL who continues the deception. MICHAEL Hello, Tom? Michael. Yeah... listen, we haven't left yet. I'm driving down to the city with Kay tomorrow morning. There's something important I want to tell the old man before Christmas. Will he be home tomorrow night? INT DAY: OLIVE OIL OFFICE (WINTER 1945) HAGEN in the Olive Oil Company office. In the background, through the glass partitions, we can see the DON, at work in his office. TOM is tired, and steeped in paperwork. HAGEN (O.S.) Sure. Anything I can do for you. MICHAEL (O.S.) No. I guess I'll see you Christmas. Everyone's going to be out at Long Beach, right? HAGEN Right. He smiles. MICHAEL has hung up. He looks at the piles of work, and can't face it. He rises, puts on his coat and hat, and continues out. He peeks into the DON's office. HAGEN Michael called; he's not leaving New Hampshire until tomorrow morning. I've got to go, I promised Theresa I'd pick up some toys for the kids. The DON smiles and nods. TOM smiles, and leaves; OUR VIEW remaining with DON CORLEONE. FREDDIE is sitting on a bench in the corner, reading the afternoon paper. He puts aside the papers the office manager has prepared for him, and then moves to FREDDIE, raps his knuckles on his head to take his nose out of the paper. DON CORLEONE Tell Paulie to get the car from the lot; I'll be ready to go home in a few minutes. FREDO I'll have to get it myself; Paulie called in sick this morning. DON CORLEONE That's the third time this month. I think maybe you'd better get a healthier bodyguard for me. Tell Tom. FREDO (going) Paulie's a good kid. If he's sick, he's sick. I don't mind getting the car. FREDDIE leaves. He slowly puts on his jacket. Looks out his window. EXT DUSK: OLIVE OIL CO. (WINTER 1945) FREDDIE crosses the street. INT DUSK: OLIVE OIL OFFICE (WINTER 1945) OFFICE MANAGER Buon Watale, Don Corleone. The MANAGER helps him on with his overcoat. Once again, the DON glances out his window. The black car pulls up; FREDDIE driving. DON CORLEONE Merry Christmas. (handing the MANAGER an envelope) And he starts down the stairs. EXT DUSK: OLIVE OIL CO. (WINTER 1945) The light outside is very cold, and beginning to fail. When FREDDIE sees his FATHER coming, he moves back into the driver's seat. The DON moves to the car, and is about to get in when he hesitates, and turns back to the long, open fruit stand near the corner. The PROPRIETOR springs to serve him. The DON walks among the trays and baskets, and merely points to a particular piece of fruit. As he selects, the MAN gingerly picks the pieces of fruit up and puts them into a paper bag. The DON pays with a five dollar bill, waits for his change, and then turns back to the car. EXT DUSK: POLKS TOY STORE (WINTER 1945) TOM HAGEN exits carrying a stack of presents, all gift wrapped. He continues past the windows. As he walks, someone walks right in his way. He looks up. It is SOLLOZZO. He takes TOM by the arm and walks along with him. SOLLOZZO (quietly) Don't be frightened. I just want to talk to you. A car parked at the curb suddenly flings its rear door open. SOLLOZZO (urgently) Get in; I want to talk to you. HAGEN pulls his arm free. He is frightened. HAGEN I haven't got time. TWO MEN suddenly appear on either side of him. SOLLOZZO Get in the car. If I wanted to kill you you'd be dead already. Trust me. HAGEN, sick to his stomach, moves with his ESCORTS, leaving our VIEW on the Mechanical windows gaily bobbing the story of Hansel and Gretel. We HEAR the car doors shut, and the car drive off. EXT NIGHT: RADIO CITY - PHONE BOOTH (WINTER 1945) RADIO CITY MUSIC HALL during the Christmas show. KAY and MICHAEL exit; tears are still streaming down her cheeks, and she sniffles, and dries her tears with Kleenex. KAY nostalgically hums "The Bells of Saint Mary's," as they walk arm in arm. KAY Would you like me better if I were a nun? MICHAEL No. KAY Would you like me better if I were Ingrid Bergman? They have passed a little enclosed newsstand. KAY sees something that terrifies her. She doesn't know what to do. MICHAEL still walks, thinking about her question. KAY (a little voice) Michael? MICHAEL I'm thinking about it. KAY Michael... MICHAEL No, I would not like you better if you were Ingrid Bergman. She cannot answer him. Rather she pulls him by the arm, back to the newsstand, and points. His face goes grave. The headlines read: "VITO CORLEONE SHOT, CHIEFTAN GUNNED DOWN." MICHAEL is petrified; quickly he takes each edition, drops a dollar in the tray, and hungrily reads through them. KAY knows to remain silent. MICHAEL (desperately) They don't say if he's dead or alive. EXT DUSK: OLIVE OIL CO. (WINTER 1945) DON CORLEONE by the fruit stand; he is about to move to the car, when TWO MEN step from the corner. Suddenly, the DON drops the bag of fruit and darts with startling quickness toward the parked car. DON CORLEONE Fredo, Fredo! The paper bag has hit the ground, and the fruit begins rolling along the sidewalk, as we HEAR gunshots. Five bullets catch the DON in the back; he arches in pain, and continues toward the car. The PROPRIETOR of the fruit stand rushes for cover, knocking over an entire case of fruit. The TWO GUNMEN move in quickly, anxious to finish him off. Their feet careful to avoid the rolling fruit. There are more GUNSHOTS. FREDDIE is hysterical; he tries to get out of the car; having difficulty opening the door. He rushes out, a gun trembling in his hand; his mouth open. He actually drops the gun. The gun falls amid the rolling fruit. The GUNMEN are panicked. They fire once more at the downed DON CORLEONE. His leg and arm twitch where they are hit; and pools of blood are beginning to form. The GUNMEN are obviously in a state of panic and confusion; they disappear around the corner as quickly as they came. The PEOPLE about the avenue have all but disappeared: rather, we catch glimpses of them, poking their heads safely from around corners, inside doorways and arches, and from windows. But the street itself is now empty. FREDDIE is in shock; he looks at his FATHER; now great puddles of blood have formed, and the DON is lifeless and face down in them. FREDDIE falls back on to the curb and sits there, saying something we cannot understand. He begins to weep profusely. INT NIGHT: SUBWAY (WINTER 1945) LUCA BRASI riding alone on a subway car, late at night. He gets off. He emerges at a subway terminal, proceeds out. EXT NITE: NIGHT CLUB STREET (WINTER 1945) LUCA walks down the late night street. He approaches an elegant New York Nightclub, whose gaudy neon sign is still winking this late at night. He waits and watches. Then the sign goes out; and he proceeds into the club. INT NITE: NIGHTCLUB (WINTER 1945) The main floor of the Nightclub is very large, with endless glistening wooden floors. Now, at this late time, the chairs have been stacked on the tables and a NEGRO JANITOR is waxing them. A single HAT-CHECK GIRL is counting her receipts. LUCA moves past the empty bandstand, and sits at the bar. ANOTHER MAN, dark and very well-built, moves behind the bar. MAN Luca...I'm Bruno Tattaglia. LUCA I know. LUCA looks up; and out of the shadows emerges SOLLOZZO. SOLLOZZO Do you know who I am? LUCA Nods. SOLLOZZO You've been talking to the Tattaglias. They thought we could do business. LUCA listens. SOLLOZZO I need somebody strong to protect my operation, physically. I've heard you're not happy with your family, you might make a switch. LUCA If the money is good enough. SOLLOZZO On the first shipment, I can guarantee you fifty thousand dollars. LUCA looks at him; he had no idea the offer would be so good. SOLLOZZO extends his hand, but LUCA pretends not to see it, rather, he busies himself putting a cigarette in his mouth. BRUNO TATTAGLIA, behind the bar, makes a cigarette lighter magically appear, and holds it to LUCA's cigarette. Then, he does an odd thing; he drops the lighter on the bar, and puts his hand lightly on LUCA's, almost patting it. INT NITE: SONNY'S LIVING ROOM (WINTER 1945) The telephone in SONNY's house is ringing. He approaches it, obviously fresh from a nap. SONNY Yeah. VOICE (O.S.) Do you recognize my voice? SONNY I think so. Detective squad? VOICE (O.S.) Right. Don't say my name, just listen. Somebody shot your father outside his place fifteen minutes ago. SONNY Is he alive? VOICE (O.S.) I think so, but I can't get close enough. There's a lot of blood. I'll try to find out more. SONNY Find out anything you can...you got a Grand coming. (click) SONNY cradles the phone. An incredible rage builds up in him, his face actually turning red. He would like to rip the phone to pieces in his bare hands. Then he controls it. Quickly, he dials another number. SONNY Theresa, let me talk to Tom. Not yet? Have him call me as soon as he gets home. He hangs up. SANDRA (O.S.) Sonny? Sonny, who is it? (she enters the room) What is it? SONNY (calmly) They shot the old man. SANDRA Oh God... SONNY Honey...don't worry. Nothing else is going to happen. There is a POUNDING on the door. A BABY starts crying. SANDRA (really frightened) SONNY? SONNY reaches into a cabinet drawer, takes out a gun, and moves quickly. He opens the front door quickly. It is CLEMENZA. He enters, SONNY closes the door. SANDRA goes to look after the baby. CLEMENZA (excited) You heard about your father? SONNY Yeah. CLEMENZA The word is out in the streets that he's dead. SONNY Where the hell was Paulie, why wasn't he with the Don? CLEMENZA Paulie's been a little sick all winter...he was home. SONNY How many times did he stay home the last couple of months? CLEMENZA Maybe three, four times. I always asked Freddie if he wanted another bodyguard, but he said no. Things have been so smooth the last ten years... SONNY Go get Paulie, I don't care how sick he is. Pick him up yourself, and bring him to my father's house. CLEMENZA That's all? Don't you want me to send some people over here? SONNY No, just you and Paulie. CLEMENZA leaves; SONNY moves to SANDRA, who sits on the couch weeping quietly, comforting her BABY. SONNY A couple of our people will come to stay here. Do whatever they say; I'm going over to the main house. If you want me, use Pop's special phone. The telephone rings again. SONNY answers it. SONNY Hello. SOLLOZZO (O.S.) Santino Corleone? SANDRA moves behind him, anxious to know who it is. SONNY indicates that she be quiet. SONNY Yeah. SOLLOZZO (O.S.) We have Tom Hagen. In about three hours he'll be released with our proposition. Don't do anything until you've heard what he has to say. You can only cause a lot of trouble. What's done is done. (a pause) Don't lose that famous temper of yours. SONNY (quietly) I'll wait. EXT NITE: MALL (WINTER 1945) FULL VIEW OF THE CORLEONE MALL. It is night, but the courtyard is bathed with white light from floodlights on the tops of all the houses. It is very cold. We see the figure of SONNY cross the Mall, and let himself into the main house. INT NITE: DON'S KITCHEN (WINTER 1945) SONNY walks into the empty, darkened house. Then he calls out. SONNY Ma? Ma, where are you. The kitchen door swings open. He moves quickly and takes her by the arm. He is deliberately calm. SONNY Ma, I just got a call. Pop's hurt...I don't know how bad. MAMA (quietly) Santino? Have they killed him? SONNY (almost in tears) We don't know yet, Ma. MAMA I'll get dressed. In case we can see him... She moves out of the kitchen, and continues upstairs. SONNY turns the gas from the pan of peppers she was frying. He takes some bread without thinking, and dips it in the oil, and sloppily eats some of the peppers, as he moves into his father's office. INT NITE: DON'S OFFICE (WINTER 1945) He switches the lights on in the DON's office. The massive desk dominates the room. SONNY moves quickly to the telephone, pulling a small chair to the side of the desk, and dials a number. SONNY Tessio...This is Santino Corleone. I want fifty reliable men out here. TESSIO (O.S.) I heard, Sonny...but what about Clemenza's regime? SONNY I don't want to use Clemenza's people right now. Understood? He hangs up. He moves quickly to a wall safe; operates the dial, and removes a small notebook. He takes it back to the desk, and runs over the list of numbers with his forefinger. We follow the names, until the finger stops at one: LUCA BRASI. SONNY dials the number. There is no answer. SONNY Luca. INT NITE: BUILDING (WINTER 1945) The interior of an abandoned building. SEVERAL MEN in suits and ties sit around in the booths. HAGEN sits in one: SOLLOZZO sits across from him. SOLLOZZO I know you're not in the muscle end of the family--so I don't want you to be afraid. I want you to help the Corleones and I want you to help me. HAGEN's hands are trembling as he tries to put a cigarette in his mouth. ONE of the BUTTON MEN brings a bottle of rye to the table, and pours a little into a delicate, flowered china cup. HAGEN sips gratefully. SOLLOZZO Your boss is dead... HAGEN is overwhelmed: actual tears spring to his eyes. SOLLOZZO pauses respectfully. SOLLOZZO (pushing the bottle) Have some more. We got him outside his office, just before I picked you up. You have to make the peace between me and Santino. HAGEN still is focused on the grief of losing the old man. SOLLOZZO Sonny was hot for my deal, right? You know it's the smart thing to do, too. I want you to talk Sonny into it. HAGEN (pulling himself together) Sonny will come after you with everything he's got. SOLLOZZO rises, impatiently. SOLLOZZO That's going to be his first reaction. You have to talk some sense into him. The Tattaglia family stands behind me with all their people. The other New York Families will go along with anything that prevents a full scale war. He leans close to HAGEN. SOLLOZZO The Don was slipping; in the old days I could never have gotten to him. Now he's dead, nothing can bring him back. Talk to Sonny, talk to the Caporegimes, Clemenza and Tessio...it's good business. HAGEN Even Sonny won't be able to call off Luca Brasi. SOLLOZZO I'll worry about Luca. You take care of Sonny and the other two kids. HAGEN I'll try...It's what the Don would want us to do. SOLLOZZO (lifting his hands in an expression of harmlessness) Good...then you can go... (he escorts him to the door) I don't like violence. I'm a businessman, and blood is a big expense. He opens the door; they step out together. EXT NITE: BUILDING HAGEN, SOLLOZZO exit. But a car pulls up, and ONE of SOLLOZZO'S MEN rushes out. He indicates with some urgency that he wants to talk to SOLLOZZO in private. Then SOLLOZZO moves with a grave expression. He opens the door, indicating that HAGEN should be led back in. SOLLOZZO The old man is still alive. Five bullets in his Sicilian hide and he's still alive. (he gives a fatalistic shrug) Bad luck for me, bad luck for you. EXT NITE: MALL (WINTER 1945) MICHAEL driving during the night. There is a little fog in the air, and moisture has formed on the windshield, making it difficult to see well. The wipers move across the view, as the gate of the Corleone Mall appears before us, still decorated for Christmas. The courtyard is bathed with white floodlight, giving this place a cold and isolated look. The narrow entrance mouth of the Mall is sealed off with a link chain. There are strange cars parked along the curving cement walk. SEVERAL MEN are congregated about the gate and chain; ONE of them approaches MICHAEL's car. MAN Who're you? ANOTHER peeks his ugly face almost right up to MICHAEL, and then turns. MAN 2 It's the Don's kid; take the car, I'll bring him inside. The FIRST MAN opens the car door, and MICHAEL steps out. INT NITE: HALL (WINTER 1945) The Hallway of the main house is filled with MEN MICHAEL doesn't recognize. They pay little attention to him. Most of them are waiting; sitting uncomfortably; no one is talking. INT NITE: DON'S LIVING ROOM (WINTER 1945) MICHAEL moves into the living room; there is a Christmas tree, and countless greeting cards taped to the walls. THERESA HAGEN is sitting stiffly on the sofa, smoking a cigarette; on the coffee table in front of her is a water glass half filled with whiskey. On the other side of the sofa sits CLEMENZA; his face is impassive, but he is sweating, and the cigar in his hand glistens slickly black with his saliva. PAULIE GATTO sits tensely and alone on the other side of the room. CLEMENZA sees MICHAEL, looks up at him. CLEMENZA Your mother's at the hospital with the old man: He's gonna pull through. MICHAEL nods his relief. MICHAEL Thanks. He moves to THERESA. MICHAEL (gently) You heard from Tom yet? Without looking up, she clings to him for a moment, and trembles. Occasionally, STRANGE MEN will cross through the room; everyone speaks in a whisper. MICHAEL (taking her hand) C'mon. He leads her into his father's office without knocking. INT NITE: DON'S OFFICE (WINTER 1945) SONNY and TESSIO are huddled around a yellow pad. They look up, startled. SONNY Don't worry, Theresa; they just want to give Tom the proposition, then they're going to turn him loose. He reassuringly hugs THERESA, and then to MICHAEL's surprise, he kisses him on the cheek. SONNY I was worried when we couldn't get in touch with you in that hick town. MICHAEL How's Mom? SONNY Good. She's been through it before. Me too. You were too young to know about it. You better wait outside; there're some things you shouldn't hear. MICHAEL I can help you out... SONNY Oh no you can't, the old man'd be sore as hell if I let you get mixed up in this. MICHAEL Jesus Christ, he's my father, Sonny. SONNY Theresa. She understands, and leaves them alone. SONNY All right, Mikey...who do we have to hit, Clemenza or Paulie? MICHAEL What? SONNY One of them fingered the old man. MICHAEL didn't realize that the men waiting outside were on trial for their lives. MICHAEL Clemenza? No, I don't believe it. SONNY You're right, kid, Clemenza is okay. It was Paulie. MICHAEL How can you be sure? SONNY On the three days Paulie was sick this month, he got calls from a payphone across from the old man's building. We got people in the phone company. (he shrugs) Thank God it was Paulie...we'll need Clemenza bad. MICHAEL is just realizing the gravity and extent of the situation. MICHAEL Is it going to be all-out war, like last time? SONNY Until the old man tells me different. MICHAEL Then wait, Sonny. Talk to Pop. SONNY Sollozzo is a dead man, I don't care what it costs. I don't care if we have to fight all the five families in New York. The Tattaglia family's going to eat dirt. I don't care if we all go down together. MICHAEL (softly) That's not how Pop would have played it. SONNY I know I'm not the man he was. But I'll tell you this and he'll tell you too. When it comes to real action, I can operate as good as anybody short range. MICHAEL (calmly) All right, Sonny. All right. SONNY Christ, if I could only contact Luca. MICHAEL Is it like they say? Is he that good? Outside, we HEAR THERESA cry out, almost a scream of relief. Then open the door and rush out. Everyone is standing: in the doorway, TOM HAGEN is wrapped in a tight embrace with his WIFE. HAGEN If I plead before the Supreme Court, I'll never do better than I did tonight with that Turk. EXT NITE: MALL, FEATURING DON'S HOUSE (WINTER 1945) The windows of the main house are dark except for the DON's study. It stands out against the cold, dark night. INT NITE: DON'S LIVING ROOM (WINTER 1945) The living room is empty, save for PAULIE GATTO sitting on the edge of the sofa. The clock reads: 4:00 a.m. INT NITE: DON'S OFFICE (WINTER 1945) SONNY, MICHAEL, HAGEN, CLEMENZA and TESSIO; all exhausted, in shirtsleeves, about to fall asleep. It is four in the morning; there is evidence of many cups of coffee and many snacks. They can barely talk anymore. HAGEN Is the hospital covered? SONNY The cops have it locked in and I got my people there visiting Pop all the time. What about the hit list. HAGEN widens his sleepy eyes, and looks at the yellow pad. HAGEN Too much, too far, too personal. The Don would consider this all purely a business dispute: Get rid of Sollozzo, and everything falls in line. YOU don't have to go after the Tattaglias. CLEMENZA nods. HAGEN What about Luca? Sollozzo didn't seem worried about Luca. That worries me. SONNY If Luca sold out we're in real trouble. HAGEN Has anyone been able to get in touch with him? SONNY No, and I've been calling all night. Maybe he's shacked up. HAGEN Luca never sleeps over with a broad. He always goes home when he's through. Mike, keep ringing Luca's number. MICHAEL, very tired, picks up the phone, and dials the number once again. He can hear the phone ringing on the other end but no one answers. Then hangs up. HAGEN Keep trying every fifteen minutes. (exhausted) SONNY Tom, you're the Consigliere, what do we do if the old man dies? HAGEN Without your father's political contacts and personal influence, the Corleone family loses half its strength. Without your father, the other New York families might wind up supporting Sollozzo, and the Tattaglias just to make sure there isn't a long destructive war. The old days are over, this is 1946; nobody wants bloodshed anymore. If your father dies...make the deal, Sonny. SONNY (angry) That's easy to say; it's not your father. HAGEN (quietly) I was as good a son to him as you or Mike. SONNY Oh Christ Tom, I didn't mean it that way. HAGEN We're all tired... SONNY OK, we sit tight until the old man can give us the lead. But Tom, I want you to stay inside the Mall. You too, Mike, no chances. Tessio, you hold your people in reserve, but have them nosing around the city. The hospital is yours; I want it tight, fool-proof, 24 hours a day. There is a timid knock on the door. SONNY What is it? PAULIE GATTO looks in. CLEMENZA I tol' you to stay put, Paulie... PAULIE The guy at the gate's outside...says there's a package... SONNY Tessio, see what it is. TESSIO gets up, leaves. PAULIE You want me to hang around? SONNY Yeah. Hang around. PAULIE Outside? CLEMENZA Outside. PAULIE Sure. He closes the door. SONNY Clemenza. You take care of Paulie. I don't ever want to see him again. Understood? CLEMENZA Understood. SONNY Okay, now you can move your men into the Mall, replace Tessio's people. Mike, tomorrow you take a couple of Clemenza's people and go to Luca's apartment and wait for him to show. That crazy bastard might be going after Sollozzo right now if he's heard the news. HAGEN Maybe Mike shouldn't get mixed up in this so directly. You know the old man doesn't want that. SONNY OK forget it, just stay on the phone. MICHAEL is embarrassed to be so protected. He dials Luca Brasi's number once again. The ring repeats, but no one answers. TESSIO comes back, carrying Luca Brasi's bullet-proof vest in his hand. He unwraps it; there is a large fish wrapped inside. CLEMENZA A Sicilian message: Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes. INT. NITE: NIGHTCLUB (WINTER 1945) LUCA sits at the Bar of the Tattaglia Nightclub, as we remember him. BRUNO TATTAGLIA had just patted his hand. LUCA looks up at him. Then SOLLOZZO pats the other hand, almost affectionately. LUCA is just about to twist his hands away, when they both clamp down as hard as they can. Suddenly, a garrote is thrown around his neck, and pulled violently tight. His face begins to turn to purple blotches, and then totally purple, right before our eyes; his tongue hangs out, in a far more extreme way than a normal tongue could. His eyes bulge. ONE of the MEN looks down at him in disgust as LUCA's strength leaves him. BRUNO (making an ugly face) Oh Christ...all over the floor. SOLLOZZO lets LUCA's hand go with a victorious smile on his face. LUCA falls to the floor. SOLLOZZO The Godfather is next. ----------------------------------------FADE OUT-------- FADE IN: EXT DAY: CLEMENZA'S HOUSE (WINTER 1945) Morning in a simple Brooklyn suburb. There are rows of pleasant houses; driveway after driveway, down the block. A dark, somber young man of thirty-one or two walks with a noticeable limp down the sidewalk, and rings the bell. This is ROCCO LAMPONE. The woman of the house, MRS. CLEMENZA, talks to him through the screen door, and then points to the side of the house. ROCCO moves to the garage, which is specially heated, and in which CLEMENZA is busy at work washing a shiny brand new Lincoln. LAMPONE admires the car. LAMPONE Nice. CLEMENZA Crazy Detroit delivered it with a wooden bumper. They're going to send me the chrome bumpers in a couple months. I waited two years for this car to come with wooden bumpers! He scrubs and polishes with great affection. CLEMENZA Today you make your bones on Paulie. You understand everything? LAMPONE Sure. As he scrubs around the glove compartment, he opens it, unwraps a gun and gives it to LAMPONE. CLEMENZA .22 soft-nosed load. Accurate up to five feet. LAMPONE expertly puts the gun away. GATTO's car pulls into the driveway, and he sounds the horn. The two men walk to the car. GATTO is driving, a bit nervous, like he doesn't know what is up. LAMPONE gets in the rear seat; CLEMENZA in the front, making a grunt of recognition. He looks at his wristwatch, as though wanting to chide PAULIE for being late. PAULIE flinches a little when he sees LAMPONE will ride behind him; he half turns: PAULIE Rocco, sit on the other side. A big guy like you blocks my rearview mirror. CLEMENZA turns sourly to PAULIE. CLEMENZA Goddamn Sonny. He's running scared. He's already thinking of going to the mattresses. We have to find a place on the West Side. Paulie, you know a good location? PAULIE relaxes a bit; he thinks he's off any possible hook he was on. Also there's the money he can make by selling Sollozzo any secret location. PAULIE I'll think about it. CLEMENZA (grunting) Drive while you thinking; I wanna get to the City this month! The car pulls out. EXT DAY: PAULIE'S CAR - ON ROAD (WINTER 1945) Inside PAULIE drives; and CLEMENZA sits in a grump. OUR VIEW does not show LAMPONE in the rear seat. EXT DAY: PAULIE'S CAR AT TUNNEL (WINTER 1945) The Car crosses to the Midtown Tunnel in the late Winter light. INT DAY: PAULIE'S CAR IN TUNNEL (WINTER 1945) Inside the tunnel; GATTO doesn't like not seeing LAMPONE. He tries to adjust his rearview mirror to catch a glimpse of him. CLEMENZA Pay attention! EXT DAY: PAULIE'S CAR AT MATTRESS (WINTER 1945) The car is parked in the City. PAULIE comes down from an available apartment and gets back into the car. PAULIE Good for ten men... CLEMENZA OK, go to Arthur Avenue; I'm suppose to call when I found somethin'. The car pulls off. EXT DAY: RESTAURANT (WINTER 1945) New part of the city; the car pulls up in a parking lot. CLEMENZA get outs, glances at LAMPONE, then to PAULIE. CLEMENZA You wait; I'll call. He walks, tucking his shirt into his pants, around the corner and enters the Luna Restaurant. INT DAY: RESTAURANT (WINTER 1945) CLEMENZA enters the little restaurant, sits down at a table. The WAITERS know him; immediately put a bottle of wine, some bread--and then a plate of veal on his table. He eats. EXT DAY: RESTAURANT (WINTER 1945) CLEMENZA exits the restaurant, belches, adjusts his pants; he is well fed. We move with him around the corner, not knowing what to expect has happened to Paulie. There is the car; PAULIE is still sitting behind the wheel, LAMPONE in the rear seat. CLEMENZA steps in. CLEMENZA He talked my ear off. Want us to go back to Long Beach; have another job for us. Rocco, you live in the City, can we drop you off? LAMPONE (O.S.) Ah, I left my car at your place. CLEMENZA OK, then you gotta come back. The car pulls out. By now, PAULIE is completely relaxed and secure. PAULIE You think we'll go for that last place? CLEMENZA Maybe, or you gotta know now. PAULIE Holy cow, I don't gotta know nothing. EXT DAY: PAULIE'S CAR ON CAUSEWAY (WINTER 1945) The car moves along the ready beach area of the causeway. Inside, CLEMENZA turns to PAULIE. CLEMENZA Paulie, pull over. I gotta take a leak. The car pulls off the Causeway, into the reeds. CLEMENZA steps out of the car, OUR VIEW MOVING with him. He turns his back three quarters from us (we can no longer see the car), unzips, and we hear the sound of urine hitting the ground. We wait on this for a moment; and then there are two GUNSHOTS. CLEMENZA finishes his leak, zips up and turns, moving back to the car. PAULIE is dead, bleeding from the mouth; the windows behind him are shattered. CLEMENZA Leave the gun. LAMPONE gets out, the two men walk through the reeds a few feet where there is another car. They get in, and drive off. ---------------------------------------FADE OUT--------- EXT DAY: MALL (WINTER 1945) HIGH ANGLE OF THE MALL. It is late afternoon. Many strange cars are parked on the nearby streets. We can see the group of BUTTON MEN, stationed here and there, obviously sentries with concealed weapons. MICHAEL walks along in the rear yard. He is bundled in a warm marine coat. He looks at the strange men, regarding them with an uncertain awe. They look back at him, at first suspiciously and then with the respect of his position. He is like an exile Prince. He wanders past them, and hesitates and looks at the yard. A rusted set of garden swings; and other home playground equipment. The basketball ring now half coming off. This is where he was a child. Then a shout. CLEMENZA (O.S.) Mike. Hey Mikey; telephone. CLEMENZA had shouted from the kitchen window. MICHAEL hurries into the house. INT DAY: DON'S KITCHEN (WINTER 1945) CLEMENZA is in the kitchen, cooking over an enormous pot. He points to the kitchen wall phone which is hanging off the hook. CLEMENZA Some dame. MICHAEL picks it up. MICHAEL Hello. Kay? KAY (O.S.) How is your father? MICHAEL He'll be OK. KAY (O.S.) (pause) I love you. He glances at the THUGS in the kitchen. Tries to shield the phone. KAY (O.S.) I LOVE YOU. MICHAEL Yeah Kay, I'm here. KAY (O.S.) Can you say it? MICHAEL Huh? KAY (O.S.) Tell me you love me. MICHAEL glances at the HOODS at the kitchen table. He curls up in a corner, and in a quarter voice: MICHAEL I can't... KAY (O.S.) Please say it. MICHAEL Look. I'll see you tonight, OK? KAY (O.S.) OK. (click) CLEMENZA is getting ready to build a tomato sauce for all the button men stationed around the house. CLEMENZA How come you don't tell that nice girl you love her...here, learn something... you may have to feed fifty guys some day. You start with olive oil...fry some garlic, see. And then fry some sausage...or meat balls if you like...then you throw in the tomatoes, the tomato paste...some basil; and a little red wine...that's my trick. SONNY peeks into the kitchen; sees CLEMENZA. SONNY You take care of Paulie? CLEMENZA You won't see Paulie anymore. He's sick for good this winter. MICHAEL starts to leave. SONNY Where are you going? MICHAEL To the city. SONNY (to Clemenza; dipping bread into the sauce) Send some bodyguards. MICHAEL I don't need them, Sonny. I'm just going to see Pop in the hospital. Also, I got other things. CLEMENZA Sollozzo knows Mike's a civilian. SONNY OK, but be careful. EXT NITE: CAR MICHAEL sits in the rear seat, calmly, as he is being driven into the city. THREE BUTTONMEN are crowded into the front seat. INT NITE: HOTEL LOBBY MICHAEL crosses the lobby, past lines of servicemen trying to book rooms. INT NITE: HOTEL MICHAEL and KAY eating a quiet dinner at the hotel. He is preoccupied, she's concerned. MICHAEL Visiting hour ends at eight thirty. I'll just sit with him; I want to show respect. KAY Can I go to the hospital with you? MICHAEL I don't think so. You don't want to end up on page 3 of the Daily News. KAY My parents don't read the Daily News. All right, if you think I shouldn't. I can't believe the things the papers are printing. I'm sure most of it's not true. MICHAEL I don't think so either. (silence) I better go. KAY When will I see you again? MICHAEL I want you to go back to New Hampshire...think things over. He leans over her; kisses her. KAY When will I see you again? MICHAEL Goodbye. Quietly, he moves out the door. KAY lies on the bed a while, and then, to herself: KAY Goodbye. EXT NITE: DON'S HOSPITAL (WINTER 1945) A taxi pulls up in front of a hospital, marked clearly with a neon sign "HOSPITAL--EMERGENCY." MICHAEL steps out, pays the fare...and then stops dead in his tracks. MICHAEL looks. He sees the hospital in the night; but it is deserted. He is the only one on the street. There are gay, twinkling Christmas decorations all over the building. He walks, slowly at first, and then ever so quickly, up the steps. He hesitates, looks around. This area is empty. He checks the address on a scrap of paper. It is correct. He tries the door, it is empty. He walks in. INT NITE: HOSPITAL LOBBY (WINTER 1945) MICHAEL stands in the center of an absolutely empty hospital lobby. He looks to the right; there is a long, empty corridor. To the left: the same. HIGH FULL ANGLE, as MICHAEL walks through the desolated building lit by eerie green neon lighting. All we hear are his sole footsteps. He walks up to a desk marked "INFORMATION". No one is there. He moves quickly to a door marked "OFFICE"; swings into it; no one is there. He looks onto the desk: There is half a sandwich, and a half-filled bottle of coke. MICHAEL Hello? Hello? Now he knows something is happening, he moves quickly, alertly. MICHAEL walking down the hospital corridors; all alone. The floors have just been mopped. They are still wet. INT NITE: HOSPITAL STAIRS Now he turns onto a staircase; ever quickening; up several flights. INT NITE: 4TH FLOOR CORRIDOR He steps out onto the fourth floor. He looks. There are merely empty corridors. He takes out his scrap of paper; checks it. "Room 4A." Now he hurries, trying to follow the code of hospital rooms; following the right arrows, quicker and quicker they flash by him. Now he stops, looks up "4A-- Corleone". There is a special card table set up there with some magazines...and some smoking cigarettes still in the ashtray--but no detectives, no police, no bodyguards. INT NITE: DON'S ROOM 4A Slowly he pushes the door open, almost afraid at what he will find. He looks. Lit by the moonlight through the window, he can see a FIGURE in the hospital bed alone in the room, and under a transparent oxygen tent. All that can be heard is the steady though strained breathing. Slowly MICHAEL walks up to it, and is relieved to see his FATHER, securely asleep. Tubes hang from a steel gallows beside the bed, and run to his nose and mouth. VOICE (O.S.) What are you doing here? This startles MICHAEL; who almost jumps around. It is a NURSE lit from the light behind her in the hallway. NURSE You're not supposed to be here now. MICHAEL calms himself, and moves to her. MICHAEL I'm Michael Corleone--this is my father. What happened to the detectives who were guarding him? NURSE Oh your father just had too many visitors. It interfered with the hospital service. The police came and made them all leave just ten minutes ago. (comfortingly) But don't worry. I look in on him. MICHAEL You just stand here one minute... Quickly he moves to the telephone, dials a number. MICHAEL Sonny...Sonny--Jesus Christ, I'm down at the hospital. I came down late. There's no one here. None of Tessio's people--no detectives, no one. The old man is completely unprotected. SONNY (O.S.) All right, get him in a different room; lock the door from the inside. I'll have some men there inside of fifteen minutes. Sit tight, and don't panic. MICHAEL (furiously, but kept inside) I won't panic. He hangs up; returns to the NURSE... NURSE You cannot stay here...I'm sorry. MICHAEL (coldly) You and I are going to move my father right now...to another room on another floor...Can you disconnect those tubes so we can wheel the bed out? NURSE Absolutely not! We have to get permission from the Doctor. MICHAEL You've read about my father in the papers. You've seen that no one's here to guard him. Now I've just gotten word that men are coming to this hospital to kill him. Believe me and help me. NURSE (frightened) We don't have to disconnect them, we can wheel the stand with the bed. She does so...and they perform the very difficult task of moving the bed and the apparatus, out of the room. INT NITE: 4TH FLOOR HOSPITAL (WINTER 1945) They roll the bed, the stand, and all the tubes silently down the corridor. We hear FOOTSTEPS coming up the stairs. MICHAEL hears them, stops. MICHAEL Hurry, into there. They push it into the first available room. MICHAEL peeks out from the door. The footsteps are louder; then they emerge. It is ENZO, NAZORINE's helper, carrying a bouquet of flowers. MICHAEL (stepping out) Who is it? ENZO Michael...do you remember me, Enzo, the baker's helper to Nazorine, now his son-in-law. MICHAEL Enzo, get out of here. There's going to be trouble. A look of fear sweeps through ENZO's face. ENZO If there...will be trouble...I stay with you, to help. I owe it to the Godfather. MICHAEL thinks, realizes he needs all the help he can get. MICHAEL Go outside; stand in front...I'll be out in a minute. INT NITE: DON'S SECOND HOSPITAL ROOM (WINTER 1945) They part. MICHAEL moves into the hospital room where they put his FATHER. NURSE (frightened) He's awake. MICHAEL looks at the OLD MAN, his eyes are open, though he cannot speak. MICHAEL touches his face tenderly. MICHAEL Pop...Pop, it's me Michael. Shhhh, don't try to speak. There are men who are coming to try to kill you. But I'm with you...I'm with you now... The OLD MAN tries to speak...but cannot. MICHAEL tenderly puts his finger to his FATHER's lips. EXT NITE: DON'S HOSPITAL STREET (WINTER 1945) Outside the hospital is empty save for a nervous ENZO, pacing back and forth brandishly the flowers as his only weapon. MICHAEL exits the hospital and moves to him. They both stand under a lamppost in the cold December night. They are both frightened; MICHAEL gives ENZO a cigarette, lights it. ENZO's hands are trembling, MICHAEL's are not. MICHAEL Get rid of those and look like you've got a gun in your pocket. The windows of the hospital twinkle with Christmas decorations. MICHAEL Listen... We HEAR the sound of a single automobile coming. MICHAEL and ENZO look with fear in their eyes. Then MICHAEL takes the bouquet of flowers and stuffs them under his jacket. They stand, hands in their pockets. A long low black car turns the corner and cruises by them. MICHAEL's and ENZO's faces are tough, impassive. The car seems as though it will stop; and then quickly accelerates. MICHAEL and ENZO are relieved. MICHAEL looks down; the BAKER's hands are shaking. He looks at his own, and they are not. Another moment goes by and we can hear the distant sound of police sirens. They are clearly coming toward the hospital, getting louder and louder. MICHAEL heaves a sigh of relief. In a second, a patrol car makes a screaming turn in front of the hospital; then two more squad cars follow with uniformed POLICE and DETECTIVES. He smiles his relief and starts toward them. TWO huge, burly POLICEMEN suddenly grab his arms while ANOTHER frisks him. A massive POLICE CAPTAIN, spattered with gold braid and scrambled eggs on his hat, with beefy red face and white hair seems furious. This is McCLUSKEY. MCCLUSKEY I thought I got all you guinea hoods locked up. Who the hell are you and what are you doing here? ANOTHER COP standing nearby: COP He's clean, Captain. MICHAEL studies McCLUSKEY closely. MICHAEL (quietly) What happened to the detectives who were supposed to be guarding my father? MCCLUSKEY (furious) You punk-hood. Who the hell are you to tell me my business. I pulled them off. I don't care how many Dago gangsters kill each other. I wouldn't lift a finger to keep your old man from getting knocked off. Now get the hell out of here; get off this street you punk, and stay away from this hospital. MICHAEL stands quiet. MICHAEL I'll stay until you put guards around my father's room. MCCLUSKEY Phil, lock this punk up. A DETECTIVE The Kid's clean, Captain...He's a war hero, and he's never been mixed up in the rackets... MCCLUSKEY (furious) Goddam it, I said lock him up. Put the cuffs on him. MICHAEL (deliberately, right to McCLUSKEY's face, as he's being handcuffed) How much is the Turk paying you to set my father up, Captain? Without any warning, McCLUSKEY leans back and hits MICHAEL squarely on the jaw with all his weight and strength. MICHAEL groans, and lifts his hand to his jaw. He looks at McCLUSKEY; we are his VIEW and everything goes spinning, and he falls to the ground, just as we see HAGEN and CLEMENZA'S MEN arrive. ---------------------------------------FADE OUT--------- EXT DAY: MALL (WINTER 1945) HIGH ANGLE VIEW of THE CORLEONE MALL. The gateway now has a long black car blocking it. There are more BUTTON MEN stationed more formally; and some of them visibly carrying rifles; those of the houses close to the courtyard have MEN standing by open windows. It is clear that the war is escalating. A car pulls up and out get CLEMENZA, LAMPONE, MICHAEL and HAGEN. MICHAEL's jaw is wired and bandaged. He stops and looks up at the open window. We can see MEN holding rifles. MICHAEL Christ, Sonny really means business. They continue walking. TESSIO joins them. The various BODYGUARDS make no acknowledgment. CLEMENZA How come all the new men? TESSIO We'll need them now. After the hospital incident, Sonny got mad. We hit Bruno Tattaglia four o'clock this morning. INT DAY: DON'S HALLWAY They enter the house past the scores of new and strange faces. INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (WINTER 1945) SONNY is in the DON's office; he is excited and exuberant. SONNY I've got a hundred button men on the streets twenty-four hours a day. If Sollozzo shows one hair on his ass he's dead. He sees MICHAEL, and holds his bandaged face in his hand, kiddingly. SONNY Mikey, you look beautiful! MICHAEL Cut it out. SONNY The Turk wants to talk! The nerve of that son of a bitch! After he craps out last night he wants a meet. HAGEN Was there a definite proposal? SONNY Sure, he wants us to send Mike to meet him to hear his proposition. The promise is the deal will be so good we can't refuse. HAGEN What about that Tattaglias? What will they do about Bruno? SONNY Part of the deal: Bruno cancels out what they did to my father. HAGEN We should hear what they have to say. SONNY No, no Consiglere. Not this time. No more meetings, no more discussions, no more Sollozzo tricks. Give them one message: I WANT SOLLOZZO. If not, it's all out war. We go to the mattresses and we put all the button men out on the street. HAGEN The other families won't sit still for all out war. SONNY Then THEY hand me Sollozzo. HAGEN Come ON Sonny, your father wouldn't want to hear this. This is not a personal thing, this is Business. SONNY And when they shot me father... HAGEN Yes, even the shooting of your father was business, not personal... SONNY No no, no more advice on how to patch it up Tom. You just help me win. Understood? HAGEN bows his head; he is deeply concerned. HAGEN I found out about this Captain McCluskey who broke Mike's jaw. He's definitely on Sollozzo's payroll, and for big money. McCluskey's agreed to be the Turk's bodyguard. What you have to understand is that while Sollozzo is guarded like this, he's invulnerable. Nobody has ever gunned down a New York Police Captain. Never. It would be disastrous. All the five families would come after you Sonny; the Corleone family would be outcasts; even the old man's political protection would run for cover. So just...take that into consideration. SONNY (still fuming) McCluskey can't stay with the Turk forever. We'll wait. MICHAEL We can't wait. No matter what Sollozzo say about a deal, he's figuring out how to kill Pop. You have to get Sollozzo now. SONNY The kid's right. HAGEN What about McCluskey? MICHAEL Let's say now that we have to kill McCluskey. We'll clear that up through our Newspaper contacts later. SONNY Go on Mike. MICHAEL They want me to go to the conference with Sollozzo. Set up the meeting for two days from now. Sonny, get our informers to find out where the meeting will be held. Insist it has to be a public place: a bar or restaurant at the height of the dinner hour. So I'll feel safe. They'll check me when I meet them so I won't be able to carry a weapon; but Clemenza, figure out a way to have one planted there for me. (pause) Then I'll kill them both. Everyone in the room is astonished; they all look at MICHAEL. Silence. SONNY suddenly breaks out in laughter. He points a finger at MICHAEL, trying to speak. SONNY You? You, the high-class college kid. You never wanted to get mixed up in the family business. Now you wanta gun down a police Captain and the Turk just because you got slapped in the face. You're taking it personal, it's just business and he's taking it personal. Now CLEMENZA and TESSIO are also smiling; only HAGEN keeps his face serious. MICHAEL (angrily, but cold) Sonny, it's all personal, and I learned it from him, the old man, the Godfather. He took my joining the Marines personal. I take Sollozzo trying to kill my father personal, and you know I'll kill them Sonny. MICHAEL radiates danger...SONNY stops laughing. INT DAY: CLEMENZA'S CELLAR (WINTER 1945) CLOSE on a revolver. CLEMENZA (O.S.) It's as cold as they come, impossible to trace. (he turns it upside down) Don't worry about prints Mike, I put a special tape on the trigger and butt. Here. (he hands the gun to another pair of hands) Whatsamatter? Trigger too tight. (it fires: very LOUD) I left it noisy, so it'll scare any pain-in-the-neck innocent bystander away. MICHAEL is alone with CLEMENZA in a cellar workshop. CLEMENZA Just let your hand drop to your side, and let the gun slip out. Everybody will still think you got it. They'll be starin' at your face, see? Then walk out of the place real fast, but don't run. Don't look anybody directly in the eye, but don't look away from them neither. Hey, they'll be scared stiff o you, believe me. Nobody's gonna bother with you. Don't worry about nothing; you'd be surprised how good these things go. O.K., put your hat on, let's see how you look. Helps with identification. They put the hat on; CLEMENZA adjusts it. CLEMENZA Mostly it gives witnesses an excuse to change their identification when we make them see the light. Then you take a long vacation and we catch the hell. MICHAEL How bad will it be? CLEMENZA Probably all the other families will line up against us. But, it's alright. These things have to happen once every ten years or so...gets rid of the bad blood. You gotta stop 'em at the beginning. Like they shoulda stopped Hitler at Munich, they shoulda never let him get away with that, they were just asking for big trouble... INT DAY: DON'S HALL & LIVING ROOM (WINTER 1945) MICHAEL steps into the foyer of the main house. A card table is set up with a man playing cards with three of the Corleone buttonmen. He continues into the living room. It's a mess. SONNY asleep on the sofa. On the coffee table are the remains of a take-out Chinese food dinner, and a half-empty bottle of whisky. The radio is playing. MICHAEL Why don't you stop living like a bum and get this place cleaned up. SONNY What are you, inspecting the barracks? (SONNY sits up with his head in his hands) You ready? Did Clemenza tell you be sure to drop the gun right away? MICHAEL A million times. SONNY Sollozzo and McCluskey are going to pick you up in an hour and a half on Times Square, under the big Camels sign. HAGEN We don't let Mike go until we have the hostage, Sonny. CLEMENZA It's okay...the hostage is outside playing pinochle with three of my men. The phone rings in the DON's office. SONNY That could be a Tattaglia informer with the meeting place. INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (WINTER 1945) HAGEN has hurried into the Den to get the phone; the OTHERS move in. HAGEN's on the phone; he writes something down. SONNY One of Tattaglia's people? HAGEN No. Our informer in McCluskey's precinct. Tonight at 8:00 he signed out for Louis' Restaurant in the Bronx. Anyone know it. TESSIO Sure, I do. It's perfect for us. A small family place with big booths where people can talk in private. Good food. Everybody minds their business. Perfect. (he moves to the desk and makes a crude drawing) This is the entrance, Mike. When you finish just walk out and turn left, then turn the corner. Clemenza, you gotta work fast to plant the gun. They got an old- fashioned toilet with a space between the water container and the wall. We can tape the gun behind there. CLEMENZA Mike, they're gonna frisk you in the car. You'll be clean so they won't worry 'bout nothing. In the restaurant, wait and talk a while, and then ask permission to go. See? Then when you come out, don't waste time; don't sit down...you come out blasting. And don't take chances. In the head, two shots apiece. And out as fast as your legs can move. SONNY I want somebody very good, very safe to plant that gun. I don't want my brother coming out of that toilet with just his dick in his hand. CLEMENZA The gun will be there. SONNY (to MICHAEL, warmly) You're on, kid...I'll square it with Mom your not seeing her before you left. And I'll get a message to your girl friend when I think the time is right. CLEMENZA We gotta move... MICHAEL O.K. How long do you think before I can come back? SONNY Probably a year... HAGEN (starting to crack) Jesus, I don't know... SONNY Can you do it Mike? MICHAEL moves out. EXT NITE: CAMELS SIGN (WINTER 1945) The enormous "CAMELS" sign, puffing smoke, below it stands MICHAEL, dressed in a warm overcoat, and wearing the hat CLEMENZA had given him. A long black car pulls around the corner and slows before him. The DRIVER, leaning over, open the front door. DRIVER Get in, Mike. He does, the car drives off. EXT NITE: SOLLOZZO'S CAR (WINTER 1945) Inside the car, SOLLOZZO reaches his hand over the back seat and shakes MIKE's hand. SOLLOZZO I'm glad you came, Mike. I hope we can straighten everything out. All this is terrible, it's not the way I wanted things to happen at all. It should never have happened. MICHAEL I want to settle things tonight. I want my father left alone. SOLLOZZO He won't be; I swear to you be my children he won't be. Just keep an open mind when we talk. I hope you're not a hothead like your brother, Sonny. It's impossible to talk business with him. McCLUSKEY grunts. MCCLUSKEY He's a good kid. He's all right. Turn around, up on your knees, facing me. He gives MICHAEL a thorough frisk. MCCLUSKEY I'm sorry about the other night Mike. I'm getting too old for my job, too grouchy. Can't stand the aggravation. You know how it is. He's clean. EXT NITE: SOLLOZZO'S CAR - WEST SIDE HIGHWAY (WINTER 1945) MICHAEL looks at the DRIVER and then ahead to see where they're heading. The car takes the George Washington Bridge. MICHAEL is concerned. MICHAEL We're going to New Jersey? SOLLOZZO (sly) Maybe. MICHAEL closes his eyes. EXT NITE: SOLLOZZO'S CAR ON G.W. BRIDGE (WINTER 1945) The car speeds along the George Washington Bridge on its way to New Jersey. Then suddenly it hits the divider, temporarily lifts into the air, and bounces over into the lanes going back to New York. It then hits it very fast, on the way back to the city. EXT NITE: SOLLOZZO'S CAR (WINTER 1945) SOLLOZZO checks to see the cars that had been following, and then leans to the DRIVER. SOLLOZZO Nice work; I'll remember it. MICHAEL is relieved. EXT NITE: LUNA AZURA RESTAURANT (WINTER 1945) The car pulls up in front of a little family restaurant in the Bronx: The "LUNA AZURA". There is no one on the street. MICHAEL looks to see if the DRIVER is going to get out with them. He gets out, and opens the door. SOLLOZZO, McCLUSKEY and MICHAEL get out; the DRIVER remains leaning against the car. They enter the restaurant. INT NITE: LUNA AZURA (WINTER 1945) A very small family restaurant with a mosaic tile floor. SOLLOZZO, MICHAEL and McCLUSKEY sit around a rather small round table near the center of the room. There are empty booths along the side walls; with a handful of CUSTOMERS, and ONE or TWO WAITERS. It is very quiet. MCCLUSKEY Is the Italian food good here? SOLLOZZO Try the veal; it's the finest in New York. The solitary WAITER brings a bottle of wine to the table. They watch him silently as he uncorks it and pours three glasses. Then, when he leaves, SOLLOZZO turns to McCLUSKEY: SOLLOZZO I am going to talk Italian to Mike. MCCLUSKEY Sure, you two go right ahead; I'll concentrate on my veal and my spaghetti. SOLLOZZO now begins in rapid Sicilian. MICHAEL listening carefully and nodding every so often. Then MICHAEL answers in Sicilian, and SOLLOZZO goes on. The WAITER occasionally brings food; and they hesitate while he is there; then go on. Then MICHAEL, having difficulty expressing himself in Italian, accidentally lapses into English. MICHAEL (using English for emphasis) Most important...I want a sure guarantee that no more attempts will be made on my father's life. SOLLOZZO What guarantees can I give you? I am the hunted one. I've missed my chance. You think too highly of me, my friend...I am not so clever...all I want if a truce... MICHAEL looks long and hard at SOLLOZZO, who is smiling holding his open hands up as if to say: "I have no tricks up my sleeve". Then he looks away and makes a distressed look on his face. SOLLOZZO What is it? MICHAEL Is it all right if I go to the bathroom? SOLLOZZO is intuitively suspicious. He studies MICHAEL with his dark eyes. Then he thrusts his hand onto MICHAEL's thigh feeling in and around, searching for a weapon. MCCLUSKEY I frisked him; I've frisked thousands of young punks; he's clean. He looks at a MAN sitting at a table opposite them; indicating the bathroom with his eyes. The MAN nods, indicating no one is there. SOLLOZZO Don't take too long. MICHAEL gets up and calmly walks to the bathroom, and disappears inside. INT NITE: LUNA AZURA TOILET (WINTER 1945) MICHAEL steps into the small bathroom; he is breathing very hard. He actually uses the urinal. Then he washes his hands with the bar of pink soap; and dries them thoroughly. Then he moves to the booth, up to the old-fashioned toilet. Slowly he reaches behind the water tank; he panics when he cannot feel the gun. We see behind the tank his hand is just a few inches from the gun...he gropes searchingly...finally coming to rest on the gun. CLOSE ON MICHAEL; the feel of it reassures him. Then he breaks it loose from the tape holding it; he takes a deep breath and shoves it under his waistband. For some unexplainable reason he hesitates once again, deliberately washes his hands and dries them. Then he goes out. INT NITE: LUNA AZURA (WINTER 1945) He hesitates by the bathroom door; and looks at his table. McCLUSKEY is eating a plate of spaghetti and veal. SOLLOZZO turns around upon hearing the door, and looks directly at MICHAEL. MICHAEL looks back. Then he smiles and continues back to the table. He sits down. MICHAEL Now I can talk. I feel much better. The MAN by the far wall had been stiff with attention; now he too relaxes. SOLLOZZO leans toward MICHAEL who sits down comfortably and his hands move under the table and unbutton his jacket. SOLLOZZO begins to speak in Sicilian once again but MICHAEL's heart is pounding so hard he can barely hear him. The WAITER comes to ask about the order, SOLLOZZO turns to speak, and without warning, MICHAEL shoves the table away from him with his left hand, and with his right hand puts the gun right against SOLLOZZO's head, just touching his temple. He pulls the trigger, and we see part of SOLLOZZO's head blown away, and a spray of fine mist of blood cover the entire area. The WAITER looks in amazement; suddenly his white jacket is sprayed and stained with blood. SOLLOZZO seems in a perpetual fall to the floor; through he seems to hang in space suspended. MICHAEL pivots, and looks: There is McCLUSKEY, frozen, the fork with a piece of veal suspended in air before his gaping mouth. MICHAEL fires; catching McCLUSKEY in his thick bulging throat. He makes a horrible, gagging, choking sound. Then coolly, and deliberately, MICHAEL fires again, fires right through McCLUSKEY's white-topped skull. The air is filled with pink mist. MICHAEL swings toward the MAN standing by the bathroom wall. He does not make a move, seemingly paralyzed. Now he carefully shows his hands to be empty. The WAITER steps backward through the mist of blood, an expression of horror on his face. MICHAEL looks at his two victims: SOLLOZZO still in his chair, side of his body propped up by the table. McCLUSKEY finally falls from the chair to the table. MICHAEL is wildly at a peak. He starts to move out. His hand: is frozen by his side, STILL GRIPPING THE GUN. He moves, not letting the gun go. MICHAEL's face; frozen in its expression. His hand: still holding the gun. His face: finally he closes his eyes. His hand relaxes, the gun falls to the floor with a dull thud. He walks quickly out of the restaurant, looks back. He sees a frozen tableau of the murder; as though it had been recreated in wax. Then he leaves. ---------------------------------------FADE OUT--------- FADE IN: INT DAY: MATTRESS (WINTER 1945) A MAN is his shirtsleeves plays a sentimental tune on an old upright piano, while his cigarette burns on the edge. ANOTHER stands nearby, listening quietly. A little distance away, TEN MEN sit around a crude table, quietly eating. They talk in low, relaxed voices, and there is an occasional laugh. ROCCO LAMPONE stands by a window, which has been covered with a heavy-mesh wire grating, gazing out. A large bowl of pasta is passed, and the MEN eat heartily. The sentimental tune is continued over the following: INT DAY: BODIES IN CAR (WINTER 1945) A MAN and a WOMAN, blood coming out of their noses, lie still together in a bullet-riddled automobile. INT DAY: BODY IN BARBER SHOP (WINTER 1945) A MAN is covered by a sheet on the floor of a barber shop. INT DAY: MATTRESS Ten mattresses are spread out around the otherwise empty living room of an apartment. THREE or FOUR MEN including CLEMENZA, are taking naps. An arsenal of hand guns are spread out on a card table. The MEN at the table continue their dinner; passing and pouring the wine. Trash is thrown in 2 or 3 garbage cans kept in the apartment. INT DAY: BODY IN OFFICE (WINTER 1945) A MAN, his clothes soaked in blood, lies on the floor of an office building, dead, under an enormous portrait of Harry S. Truman. EXT DAY: BODY ON STOOP (WINTER 1945) ANOTHER MAN, his trousers soaked in blood, lies spanning three steps of a front stoop. INT NITE: MATTRESS (WINTER 1945) TESSIO, sits in a simple straight-backed chair, doing a crossword puzzle. A thin, boyish BUTTON MAN, writes a letter. Six or seven empty mattresses, with tossed unmade blankets. Coffee cans beside them serve as ash trays. A MAN by the table pulls the cork on another bottle of Ruffino, and wine is poured as the MEN eat. EXT DAY: BODY IN ALLEY (WINTER 1945) A CORPSE is half out of an overturned garbage can in a quiet alley. INT DAY: BODY AT TABLE (WINTER 1945) A MAN in a formal jacket and tie is slumped over a table, in a pool of blood on the tablecloth. INT DAY: MATTRESS (WINTER 1945) A neatly stacked pile of newspapers in the corner of an apartment. We catch a glimpse of one headline: "Five Family War..." The table. The MEN are sitting around cracking nuts. ONE has fallen asleep on his arms at the table. SEVERAL MEN are taking naps on the Mattresses. The PIANO PLAYER finishes the tune with finesse. Picks up and takes a drag from his cigarette. The OTHER MAN nods appreciatively. MAN Nice Augie...nice. EXT DAY: MANCINI BLDG. (SPRING '46) Several cars are parked in front of a pleasant New York apartment building. We recognize a couple of SONNY's bodyguards loafing by the cars, pitching playing cards against the curb. Inside the building, two others wait quietly by the rows of brass mailboxes: they have been there quite awhile. Up one flight of stairs, a single man sits on the step, smoking a cigarette. One of the men by the mailboxes checks his pocketwatch, which is attached to a key chain. We HEAR the sound of a door opening; they look up. The man sitting on the stop stands; and looks. SONNY backs out of an apartment, the arms of LUCY MANCINI wrapped around him. She doesn't want to let go of him; she draws him back into the apartment for a moment, and then he comes out alone, adjusting his clothes. He jauntily skips down the steps, trailed by the bodyguard on the first floor, and moves outside toward his car. The men quickly take up their positions. As he gets in his car: DRIVER Pick up your sister? SONNY Yeah. The car drives off; accompanied and escorted by the bodyguards in their cars. INT DAY: CONNIE'S HALL (SPRING '46) He knocks on the door. No answer. Then again. CONNIE'S VOICE Who is it? SONNY It's me, Sonny. We hear the bolt slide back, and see the door open. SONNY enters, but CONNIE has quickly moved into the hallway, her back to him. SONNY (tenderly) Connie, what is it? He turns her around in his arms. Her face is swollen and bruised; and we can tell from her rough, red eyes that she has been crying for a long time. As soon as he realizes what's happened, his face goes red with rage. She sees it coming, and clings to him, preventing him from running out of the apartment. CONNIE (desperately) It was my fault! I started a fight with him and I tried to hit him so he hit me. He didn't even try to hit me hard Sonny, I walked into it. Sonny listens, and calms himself. He touches her shoulder, the thin silk robe. SONNY I'm goin' to have the doctor come over and take a look at you. He starts to leave. CONNIE Oh Sonny, please don't do anything. Please don't. He stops, and then laughs good naturedly. SONNY Hey. Con. What'm I goin' to do? Make your kid a orphan before he's born. She laughs with him. He kisses her reassuringly, and leaves. EXT DAY: CONNIE'S STREET CARLO settles down on the front steps of the 112th St. "Book" with SALLY RAGS and COACH, who have been drinking beer out of glasses and a pitcher of beer from around the corner. The ball game is blaring from the radio; and the kids on the street are still playing stickball. CARLO has barely settled down, when the kids in the street suddenly scatter, and a car comes screeching up the block and to a halt in front of the candy store. The tires scream, and before it seems as though it has even stopped, a MAN comes hurtling out of the driver's seat, moving so fast the everyone is paralyzed. It is a moment before we recognize that it is SONNY. His face is contorted with anger; in a split second he is on the stoop and has CARLO by the throat. He pulls CARLO away from the others, trying to get him down into the street. But CARLO reaches out for the iron railing, and hangs on, his hand in a lock, cringing away, trying to hide his head and face in the hollow of the his shoulders. His shirt is ripped away in SONNY's hand. SALLY RAGS and COACH, merely sit, watching, stunned. SONNY is pounding the cowered CARLO with all his strength, in a continuous monologue of indistinguishable cursing. His blows are powerful; and begin to draw blood. The kids who have been playing stickball, move up, watching in fascination. CARLO's hands are clenched tight around the railing. SONNY beats him mercilessly. Now SONNY's bodyguards' car pulls up, and they too become spectators. SONNY's tight fists are going down like hammers, into CARLO's face and body. CARLO's nose is bleeding profusely; but still he does nothing, other than hang onto the railing. SONNY grabs hold of CARLO's massive body, and tries to drag him off of the hold on the railing, his teeth clenched in the effort. Then he tries loosening CARLO's locked hands; even biting them. CARLO screams but he does not let go. It's clear that CARLO is much stronger than he is, and will not be moved. SONNY knees him in the mouth, and beats him more; but he is exhausted. Totally out of breath, he stammers haltingly to the bleeding CARLO. SONNY You...bastard...You...hurt my sister... again...and I'll kill...you. He wipes the sweat from his face, and then turns suddenly. and hurries back to the car, in a moment his car is gone, leaving even his bodyguards in confusion. We notice ONE MAN with a sports jacket in the group of spectators especially interested. CARLO finally relaxes the clenched, locked hands. He slumps onto the stoop. ---------------------------------------FADE OUT--------- FADE IN: EXT DAY: MALL (SPRING 1946) HIGH ANGLE on the Corleone Mall. It is a gray, rainy day. Young BUTTON MEN in raincoats stand in quiet groups of various points around the main house and compound. Things have changed; one house has been extensively enlarged; a new and secure gate house has been built. Security measures that had been make-shift and temporarily have now been made a permanent part of the Mall, evolving it into a Medieval Fortress. We notice a huge crater in the courtyard; the result of a recent bomb attempt. The house nearest the crater is damaged by fire. A taxi arrives; KAY ADAMS steps out, huddled in a bright yellow raincoat; she lets the cab go, and hurries to the shelter of the gate house. They are not expecting her, and ask her to wait while they call the main house. KAY looks at the imposing, depressing Mall, while rain still runs down onto her face. She notices the bomb crater, and the fire damage; and the sullen faces of the BUTTON MEN. TOM HAGEN exits the Main House, and hurries toward her. HAGEN Kay, we weren't expecting you. You should call... KAY I've tried calling and writing. I want to reach Michael. HAGEN Nobody knows where he is. We know he's all right, but that's all. KAY looks in the direction of the crater, filling with rainwater. KAY What was that? HAGEN An accident. No one was hurt. KAY Listen Tom, I let my cab go; can I come in to call another one? TOM is clearly reluctant to involve her any more than he has to. HAGEN Sure...I'm sorry. They hurry through the rain and into the Main House. INT DAY: DON'S LIVING ROOM (SPRING 1946) In the living room, KAY shakes the water from her coat and takes her rainhat off. KAY Will you give this to him. HAGEN If I accept that letter and you told a Court of Law I accepted it, they would interpret it as my having knowledge of his whereabouts. Just wait Kay, he'll contact you. We hear footsteps descending the staircase; MAMA CORLEONE enters the room; the OLD WOMAN squints at KAY, evaluating her. MAMA You're Mikey's little girl. KAY nods yes; there are still tears in her eyes. MAMA You eat anything? KAY shakes her head. MAMA (to HAGEN) Disgrazia, you don't even give the poor girl a cup of coffee? HAGEN shrugs helplessly; on an impulse, KAY quickly moves toward MAMA, the letter extended. KAY Will you give this letter to Michael. HAGEN Mama, no. MAMA You tell me what to do? Even he don't tell me what to do. She takes the letter from KAY, who is grateful and relieved. KAY Why did they blame Michael? MAMA You listen to me, you go home to your family, and you find a good young man and get married. Forget about Mikey; he's no good for you, anymore. She looks directly into KAY's eyes; and KAY understands what that means. EXT DAY: DON'S HOSPITAL (SPRING 1946) A hospital in New York City. POLICE and teams of PRIVATE DETECTIVES are stationed guarding the area. An ambulance with a team of DETECTIVES and BUTTON-MEN GUARDS exit the hospital with rifles in hand; followed by SEVERAL HOSPITAL ASSISTANTS wheeling a hospital stretcher, presumably carrying the DON. TESSIO and CLEMENZA emerge, with OTHER BUTTON MEN bringing up the rear. HAGEN walks with the stretcher, and for a moment they disappear behind the ambulance. Then suddenly, siren blasting, it speeds off, accompanied by dark low-slung cars. EXT DAY: MALL (SPRING 1946) The Corleone Mall. Equally impressive security stands ready at the Corleone Mall. EXTRA BUTTON MEN, as well as SOME POLICE, and PRIVATE DETECTIVES. It all seems to be under the supervision of ROCCO LAMPONE. All is silent. The WOMEN and CHILDREN, dressed in Sunday clothes, wait. EXT DAY: AMBULANCE (SPRING 1946) One ambulance, speeding along the Grand Central Parkway, preceded and followed by a dark car, each one carrying a team of BUTTON MEN. Sitting next to the DRIVER of the ambulance is a GUARD with a rifle on his lap. INT DAY: DON'S HALL (SPRING 1946) Inside the Main CORLEONE House: Hospital ORDERLIES carry the DON on his stretcher carefully under the watchful eyes of CLEMENZA, TESSIO, LAMPONE and various GUARDS and BUTTON MEN. All the CORLEONE family is here today: MAMA, FREDO, SANDRA, THERESA, CONNIE, CARLO; the various CORLEONE CHILDREN. INT DAY: DON'S BEDROOM (SPRING 1946) The DON is made comfortable in his room, which has all but been converted into a hospital room, with complete and extensive equipment. The various CHILDREN get a turn to kiss the OLD MAN, as he is made comfortable... and then SONNY indicates that all the CHILDREN, WOMEN, and CARLO should leave. They do, the door is closed. INT DAY: DON'S DINING ROOM (SPRING 1946) The mood is quite happy downstairs, as the WOMEN prepare the Sunday dinner, and set the table. CARLO sits alone among them, a frown on his face. CONNIE What's the matter, Carlo? CARLO Shut up. INT DAY: DON'S BEDROOM (SPRING 1946) All the MEN of the family stand around the hospital bed with grim faces, SONNY and HAGEN closest to the OLD MAN. The DON does not speak, yet he asks questions with his looks and glances, as clearly as if they were verbalized. HAGEN is the spokesman for the family. HAGEN ...since McCluskey's killing, the police have cracked down on most of our operations...on the other families too. There's been a lot of bad blood. The OLD MAN glances at SONNY. SONNY Pop, they hit us and we hit them back. HAGEN We put out a lot of material through our contacts in the Newspapers...about McCluskey's being tied up with Sollozzo in the Drug Rackets...things are starting to loosen up. The OLD MAN nods. SONNY Freddie's gonna go to Las Vegas...under the protection of Don Francesco of L.A. I want him to rest... FREDO I'm goin' to learn the casino business. The DON nods approvingly. Then he searches around the room for a face he does not see. HAGEN knows who he's looking for. HAGEN Michael... (he takes a breath) It was Michael who killed Sollozzo. The DON closes his eyes, and then reopens them in anger and rage. HAGEN He's safe now...we're already working on ways to bring him back. The DON is very angry, he motions with a weak hand that they leave him alone. INT. DAY: DON'S STAIRS AND HALL (SPRING 1946) HAGEN is very upset as he comes down the Stairs; SONNY is expansive and optimistic. SONNY We'll let the old man take it easy for a couple of weeks. I want to get things going good before he gets better. What's the matter with you? HAGEN You start operating, the five families will start their raids again. We're at a stalemate Sonny, your war is costing us a lot of money. SONNY No more stalemate Tom, we got the soldiers, we'll match them gun for gun if that's how they want it. They know me for what I am, Tom-- and they're scared of me. HAGEN Yes. That's true, you're getting a hell of a reputation. SONNY Well it's war! We might not be in this shape if we had a real war- time Consiglere, a Sicilian. Pop had Genco, who do I have? (TOM starts to leave) Hey Tom, hey...hey. It's Sunday, we're gonna have dinner. Don't be sore. INT DAY: DON'S DINING ROOM (SPRING 1946) The FAMILY, WIVES, CHILDREN and all sit around the table over Sunday dinner. SONNY is at the head of the table. EXT DAY: MALL (SPRING 1946) SOME of the CORLEONE GRANDCHILDREN play in the enclosed Mall, in the proximity of the BUTTON MEN stationed liberally by the gate. ONE CHILD misses a ball, it rolls by the gate house. A young BUTTON MAN scoops it up and throws it back, smiling. -----------------------------------------FADE OUT------- INT DAY: CONNIE'S APT. (SPRING 1946) CONNIE and CARLO's apartment. She's in a slip, on the phone. We HEAR the shower going in the bathroom. CONNIE Who is this? GIRL (O.S.) (giggle) I'm a friend of Carlo's. I just wanted to tell him I can't see him tonight; I have to go out of town. CONNIE's face turns red. CONNIE You lousy tramp bitch. (click) She slams the phone down; just as CARLO is coming out of the bathroom drying his golden body. CARLO What was that? CONNIE Your girl friend. She says she can't make it tonight. You lousy bastard you have the nerve to give your whores my telephone number. I'll kill you, you bastard! She hauls off and punches him knowingly; he laughs, so then she flings herself at him, kicking and scratching; her heavy belly heaving under the thin slip. CARLO (defending himself) You're crazy. She was kidding around; I don't know, some nut. He pushes her aside, and moves into the bedroom to continue dressing. CONNIE You're staying home. You're not going out. CARLO OK, OK. You gonna make me something to eat at least? That calms her down; she stands there a moment, breathing heavily; and then she nods, and goes into the kitchen, and starts her wifely duties. CARLO is dressed; puts on some cologne; CONNIE appears in the doorway. CONNIE The food is on the table. CARLO I'm not hungry yet. CONNIE Eat it, it's on the table. CARLO Ba Fa Goulle. CONNIE BA FA GOULE YOU! She turns deliberately, goes out into the kitchen. A moment later we begin to hear the sound of dishes breaking. CARLO slowly walks out, where we can see CONNIE systematically smashing all the dishes against the sink, sending the greasy veal and peppers all over the apartment floor. CARLO You filthy guinea spoiled brat. Clean it up or I'll kick your head in. CONNIE Like hell I will. She stands there, solid, ready to punch him again. Slowly, he slides his belt out of his trousers, and doubles it in his hand. CARLO Clean it up! He swings the belt against her heavy hips. She moves back into the kitchen, and gets a kitchen knife, and holds it ready. CARLO Even the female Corleones are murderers. He puts the strap down on a table, and moves after her. She makes a sudden thrust at his groin, which he avoids. He pulls the knife away, cutting his hand in the process. She gets away momentarily, but he pursues her around the table, gets her; and starts to slap her in the face. She breaks away from him, and rushes into the bedroom. CONNIE The baby! The baby! INT DAY: CONNIE'S BEDROOM (SPRING 1946) She runs into the bedroom; he follows. She moves into a corner, and then like a desperate animal, tries to hide under the bed. He reaches under, and pulls her out by the hair. He slaps her in the face until she begins to weep; then he throws her on the bed, contemptuously. He grabs part of her thigh, pinching it very hard. CARLO You're fat as a pig. Then he pushes her away, and walks out of the room, leaving her in tears. She is crying; she pulls herself to the bedroom phone, and in a whisper: CONNIE Mama...mama, it's Connie. Mama, I can't talk any louder. No, I don't want to talk to Sonny. We can tell that the phone has been passed to SONNY. INT DAY: DON'S KITCHEN (SPRING 1946) In the kitchen at the Mall, MAMA cannot understand the whispering and she has given the phone to SONNY. SONNY Yeah Connie. CONNIE (O.S.) Sonny, just send a car to bring me home. I'll tell you then, it's nothing Sonny, don't you come. Send TOM, please Sonny, it's nothing; I just want to come home. SONNY's face is turning red. SONNY (in a controlled voice) You wait there. You just wait there. He hangs up the phone; and just stands there for a moment. SONNY (quietly) That sonofabitch; that sonofabitch... HAGEN enters the room; he knows what is happening, knows he cannot interfere. EXT DAY: MALL SONNY leaves the house. HAGEN moves to the outside mall just as SONNY's car is driving off. He moves to a group of BUTTON MEN. HAGEN Go after him. EXT DAY: CAUSEWAY (SPRING 1946) SONNY's car on the Jones Beach Causeway, speeds quickly by. After a pause, another car, with the CORLEONE BODYGUARDS, is trailing. SONNY is driving; he is very angry. EXT NITE: TOLL BOOTHS (SPRING 1946) SONNY in his car; driving back. Still breathing hard and still furious. Then he thinks it's funny; he enjoyed it. He starts laughing, louder and louder, as he pulls up to a toll booth, stops, and extends his hand with a coin to the COLLECTOR. ---------------------------------------FADE OUT--------- FADE IN: INT NITE: AMERIGO BONASERA'S APARTMENT The serious-faced UNDERTAKER is on the telephone. HAGEN (O.S.) This is Tom Hagen. I'm calling for Don Corleone, at his request. BONASERA looks at his WIFE, with deep anxiety in his eyes. BONASERA's lips are suddenly dry. BONASERA Yes, I understand. I'm listening. HAGEN (O.S.) You owe the Don a service. In one hour, not before, perhaps later, he will be at your funeral parlor to ask for your help. Be there to greet him. If you have any objections speak now, and I'll inform him. Silence. BONASERA stutters, then speaks in fright. BONASERA Anything...Anything the Godfather wishes. HAGEN (O.S.) Good. He never doubted you. BONASERA The Don himself is coming to me tonight? HAGEN (O.S.) Yes. (click) BONASERA is sweating; slowly he lowers the phone; his WIFE sees his pale expression, and follows him into the room. Silently, he begins the ritual of dressing. His WIFE knows something serious is happening, and never takes her eyes from him. He lights a cigarette. BONASERA For the last year, they have been killing one another. So now, what? Your Godfather comes to me...Why? (whispering, slyly) They've killed someone so important that they wish to make his body disappear. MRS. BONASERA (frightened) Amerigo! BONASERA They could make me an accomplice to their murder. They could send me to jail! He slips into his trousers. Then he moves to his WIFE to tie his tie, as she has done for years. BONASERA And if the other families find out...they will make me their enemy. They could come here to our house. I curse the day I ever went to the Godfather. EXT NITE: FUNERAL PARLOR (SPRING 1946) With his ring of keys, he opens the funeral parlor, enters. INT NITE: FUNERAL PARLOR (SPRING 1946) BONASERA walks through the darkened funeral parlor, without turning on the lights; then into the rear, preparation room, past the tables, and equipment. He operates the chain that lifts a large overhead garage type door. And looks out into the alley. He sits on a bench, and waits. EXT NITE: FUNERAL PARLOR ALLEY (SPRING 1946) The tires of a car roll very quietly along the small alley; we notice a dark car approach the rear of BONASERA's funeral parlor. CLEMENZA gets out, and moves to the open, rear door. BONASERA greets him, too petrified to speak. He notices TWO OTHER MEN get out of the car, and carry a stretcher with a CORPSE swaddled in a gray blanket, with yellowed feet protruding. BONASERA closes his eyes in fear, but indicates which way the MEN should carry their sinister burden. INT NITE: FUNERAL PARLOR EMBALMING ROOM (SPRING 1946) They carry the CORPSE to one of the tables in the embalming room. Then BONASERA turns to see ANOTHER MAN step out of the darkness somewhat uncertainly. It is DON CORLEONE. He walks up to BONASERA, very close, without speaking. His cold eyes looking directly at the frightened UNDERTAKER. Then, after a long gaze: DON CORLEONE Well my friend, are you ready to do me this service? BONASERA nods. The DON moves to the CORPSE on the embalming table; he makes a gesture, and the OTHER MEN leave them alone. BONASERA What do you wish me to do? DON CORLEONE (staring at the table) I want you to use all your powers, all your skill, as you love me. I do not want his mother to see him as he is. He draws down the gray blanket. BONASERA lets out a gasp of horror at what he sees: The bullet-smashed face of SONNY CORLEONE. EXT NITE: TOLL BOOTHS (SPRING 1946) SONNY extends his hand with a coin at the toll booth. A car suddenly swerves in front of him, trapping him in the booth, and in incredible rally of machine gun fire greets him, coming through and smashing the windows of the toll booths on both side of him, and from the front window of the car blocking him. The windows of his car are shot out. Bullet holes puncture the doors of his car. His hand, with the coin in it, falls inside the car. His arms, shoulders are riddled by the fire, and still it continues, as though the ASSASSINS cannot take a chance that he will survive it. Suddenly, he lets out an enormous ROAR, like a bull, and actually, opens the door, and steps out of the car, UNDER fire. His face is hit; and finally he falls to the ground. A FULL SHOT...as the ASSASSINS scramble for their cars and make off in the distance. SONNY's BODYGUARDS stop a safe distance away, realizing they are too late. INT NITE: DON'S LIVING ROOM (SPRING 1946) View on HAGEN's ashen face in the living room. He is silent a moment, and then: HAGEN (quietly) OK. Go to Clemenza's house and tell him to come here right away. He'll tell you what to do. The MEN leave him alone. He is quiet, standing in the middle of the living room a moment. He looks in the direction of the kitchen, where he can see fragments of MAMA moving around. INT NITE: UPSTAIRS (SPRING 1946) TOM proceeds up stairs, and quietly in the direction of the DON's room. He opens the DON's door. Looks in. INT NITE: DON'S BEDROOM (SPRING 1946) The DON in his hospital bed. Asleep under sedation. HAGEN hesitates. He cannot go in; he cannot tell the OLD MAN. He closes the door. INT NITE: DON'S OFFICE (SPRING 1946) HAGEN alone in the office. He is drinking. He looks up at the sound of cars; the CAPOREGIMES are arriving. Then he hears footsteps. The door opens; and in a robe, with slippers, DON CORLEONE slowly enters the room. He walks directly to his stuffed armchair, sits down. His face is stern, as he looks into HAGEN's eyes. DON CORLEONE Give me a drop of anisette. HAGEN rises, and pours a glass for the OLD MAN. DON CORLEONE My wife was weeping before she fell asleep, outside my window I saw my caporegimes to the house, and it is midnight. So, Consigliere of mine, I think you should tell your Don what everyone knows. HAGEN (quietly) I didn't tell Mama anything. I was about to come up and wake you and tell you. Just now. DON CORLEONE But you needed a drink first. HAGEN Yes. DON CORLEONE Now you've had your drink. Pause. HAGEN They shot Sonny on the Causeway. (pause) He's dead. DON CORLEONE blinks. One feels that just for a second he loses all physical strength; he clasps his hands in front of him on the top of the desk and looks into HAGEN's eyes. DON CORLEONE I want no inquiries made. No acts of vengeance. (pause) Consigliere, arrange a meeting with the heads of the five families...this war stops now. He rises and unsteadily leaves the room, turns... DON CORLEONE Call Bonasera...he will do me a service. And leaves. HAGEN moves to the phone; dials... HAGEN This is Tom Hagen; I'm calling for Don Corleone, at his request. BONASERA (O.S.) Yes, I understand I'm listening. HAGEN You owe the Don a service. He has no doubt that you will repay it. EXT DAY: BANK BUILDING (SPRING 1946) Day in Manhattan. An impressive Bank Building in the financial center of New York. Many limousines are parked, uniforms and plain-clothed CHAUFFEURS waiting quietly. INT DAY: BOARD ROOM (SPRING 1946) The Board Room of a bank, daylight shines in the windows. CARLO TRAMONTI, an impressive, handsome middle-aged man, sits quietly, smoking a Di Napoli cigar, OUR VIEW moves to a MAN sitting to his left, and a little to the rear, and settles on JOSEPH ZALUCHI, a moon-faced amiable-looking man; as the view continues, around the table, we HEAR: DON CORLEONE (O.S.) I want to thank you all for coming. I consider it a service done to me personally and I am in the debt of each and every one of you. Especially those of you who have traveled from such distances as California, St. Louis, Kansas City; and New Orleans... The VIEW PASSES to FRANK FALCONE and ANTHONY MOLINARI, both younger than any of the others; then on to DOMENICK PANZA, short and squat sitting in a wheelchair; then around the table to DON VINCENENZO FORLENZA, who is whispering to his JEWISH ASSISTANT; the VIEW PASSES on to ANTHONY STRACCI, an older man, sipping from a drink and smoking a cigar; OTTILIO CUNEO, in his middle sixties with a jolly round face; then DON PHILLIP TATTAGLIA, a delicate older man with dyed hair and a pencil mustache; and finally, EMILIO BARZINI, in his early sixties, a man to 'respect'; whom we had seen at CONNIE's Wedding. DON CORLEONE Ah well, let's get down to business. We are all honorable men here, we don't have to give assurances as if we were lawyers. (he sits, gazes out at them, and sighs) How did things ever go so far? Well, no matter. A lot of foolishness has come to pass. It was so unfortunate, so unnecessary. The VIEW examines the room once again, as the DON speaks. A large, clicking board is changing numbers at various times, and two tapes, showing the fluctuations of the Market during the day's trading, and projected above. DON CORLEONE pauses; and TOM HAGEN hands him a cold drink. DON CORLEONE Tattaglia has lost a son; I have lost a son. We are quits. Let there be a peace... (he gestures expressively, submissively, with his hands) That is all I want... BARZINI Don Corleone is too modest. He had the judges and politicians in his pocket and he refused to share them. His refusal is not the act of a friend. He takes the bread out of the mouths of our families. Times have changed, it's not like the old days where everyone can go his own way. If Don Corleone had all the judges and politicians in New York, then he must share them or let others use them. Certainly he can present a bill for such services, we're not Communists, after all. But he has to let us draw water from the well. It's that simple. DON CORLEONE My friends, I didn't refuse out of malice. You all know me. When have I ever refused an accommodation? But why, this time? Because I think this drug business will destroy us in the years to come. It's not like whiskey or gambling or even women which most people want and is forbidden them by the pezzonovante of the Church and the Government. But drugs? No. Even policemen, who help us in gambling and other things would refuse to help us in drugs. But...I am willing to do whatever all of you think is necessary. DON ZALUCHI I don't believe in drugs. For years I paid my people extra so they wouldn't do that kind of business...$200 a week. But it didn't matter. Somebody comes to them and says, "I have powders, if you put up three, four thousand dollar investment, we can make fifty thousand distributing." Who can resist such a profit? There's no way to control it, as a business...to keep it respectable. (rapping the table) I don't want it near schools! I don't want it sold to children. That is an infamita. (thinking) In my city I would try to keep the traffic in the dark people, the colored. They are the best customers, the least troublesome, and they are animals anyway. They have no respect for their wives or their families or themselves. Let them lose their souls with drugs. But something has to be done, we can't have everybody running around doing just what they please, like a bunch of anarchists. BARZINI Then, are we agreed; the traffic in drugs will be permitted, but controlled; and Don Corleone agrees to give it protection in the East. DON CORLEONE nods. BARZINI That's the whole matter then, we have the peace, and let me pay my respects to Don Corleone, whom we have all known over the years as a man of his word. (noticing TATTAGLIA is uneasy) Don Philip? TATTAGLIA I agree to everything here, I'm willing to forget my own misfortune. But I must hear strict assurance from Corleone. When time goes by and his position becomes stronger, will he attempt any individual vengeance? They all look at the DON; especially HAGEN, who feels that DON CORLEONE has given a great deal, and must have something else in mind. Slowly the DON rises. DON CORLEONE I forego my vengeance for my dead son, for the common good. But I have selfish reasons. My youngest son had to flee, accused of Sollozzo's murder, and I must now make arrangements so that he can come home with safety, cleared of all those false charges. That is my affair, and I will make those arrangements. (with strength) But I am a superstitious man...and so if some unlucky accident should befall my youngest son, if some police officer should accidentally shoot him, or if he should hang himself in his cell, or if my son is struck by a bolt of lightning, then I will blame some of the people here. That, I could never forgive, but...aside from that, let me swear by the souls of my Grandchildren that I will never be the one to break the peace we have made. EXT NITE: DON'S LIMO (SPRING 1946) The DON's black limousine. He sits quietly in the padded rear seat; TOM HAGEN next to him. It is night. Lights flash by them every so often. HAGEN When I meet with Tattaglia's people; should I insist that all his drug middle-men be clean? DON CORLEONE Mention it, don't insist. Barzini is a man who will know that without being told. HAGEN You mean Tattaglia. DON CORLEONE (shaking his head) Barzini. HAGEN (a revelation) He was the one behind Sollozzo? DON CORLEONE Tattaglia is a pimp. He could never have outfought Santino. But I wasn't sure until this day. No, it was Barzini all along. The black limousine speeds away from us in the night. ------------------------------------------FADE OUT------ FADE IN: EXT DAY: ESTABLISHING SICILY SHOT A CLOSE VIEW OF MICHAEL, moving as he walks, sullen and downcast, the left side of his face healed, but left grotesque and misshapen. GRADUALLY, THE VIEW LOOSENS, he wears a warm navy Pea jacket, and walks with his hands in his pockets. THE VIEW LOOSENS FURTHER, revealing a Sicilian SHEPHERD on either side of him, each carrying a shotgun slung over his shoulder, CALO, a squat and husky young man with a simple honest quality, and FABRIZZIO, slender and handsome, likable, and with a pleasing build. Each of the SHEPHERDS carry knapsacks. The THREE YOUNG MEN continue over the Sicilian landscape, overlooking an impressive view of land and sea. EXT DAY: SICILY ROAD The THREE move through a flock of wind-blown sheep, and make their way to a dusty rural road. We HEAR a rinky horn sound, as a pre-war Italian automobile makes its way to them. An OLD MAN peeks from the window, waving to MICHAEL. The car pulls in front of them and stops. MICHAEL nods respectfully. MICHAEL Don Tommassino. DON TOMMASSINO Michael, why must you do this. We have been lucky so far, all these months you've been here we've kept your name a secret. It is from love for your father that I've asked you never to more than an hour from the Villa. MICHAEL Calo and Fabrizzio are with me; nothing will happen. DON TOMMASSINO You must understand that your Father's enemies have friends in Palermo. MICHAEL I know. DON TOMMASSINO Where are you going? MICHAEL Corleone. DON TOMMASSINO There is nothing there. Not anymore. MICHAEL I was told that my Grandfather was murdered on its main street; and his murderers came to kill my father there when he was twelve years old. DON TOMMASSINO Long ago. Now there is nothing: the men killed each other in family vendettas...the others escaped to America. MICHAEL Don Tommassino...I should see this place. DON TOMMASSINO thinks a moment, then concedes. DON TOMMASSINO That is your birthright...but Michael, use this car. MICHAEL No...I would like to walk to Corleone. The OLD MAN sighs, and then returns to his car. DON TOMMASSINO Be careful Michael, don't let them know your name. The old car sputters off; MICHAEL watches, and then continues on his journey. EXT DAY: COUNTRYSIDE The THREE pass through abundant areas of flowers and fruit trees, in bloom and bursting with life. EXT DAY: VILLAGE They continue in the empty streets of a little town; the post-war poverty is evident in the skinny dogs; and the empty streets. Occasionally, a military vehicle, the only gasoline-powered vehicles on the road, will pass. And there are many POLICE evident, most of them carrying machine guns. The THREE pass under an enormous banner slung over the main road "VOTA COMMUNISTA". EXT DAY: COUNTRY ROAD They continue through dusty country roads, where occasionally a donkey pulling a cart, or a lone horseman will pass them. EXT DAY: FIELD Out in a field, in the distance, they come upon a procession of peasants and activists, perhaps two hundred strong, marching, and singing, and in the lead, are five or six men carrying billowing red banners. EXT DAY: GROVE They are in an orange grove; on the other side of the trees is a deep, tall field of wild flowers. The Shepherds unsling their guns and knapsacks, and take out loaves of bread, some wine, sausage and cheese. MICHAEL rests against a tree, and uses his handkerchief. FABRIZZIO You tell us about America. MICHAEL How do you know I come from America? FABRIZZIO We hear. We were told you were a Pezzonovanta...big shot. MICHAEL Only the son of a Pezzonovanta. FABRIZZIO Hey America! Is she as rich as they say? MICHAEL Yes. FABRIZZIO Take me to America! You need a good lupara in America? (pats his shotgun) You take me, I'll be the best man you got. "Oh say, can you seeee...By da star early light..." MICHAEL laughs. EXT DAY: ANOTHER ROAD The TRIO continues down a dirt road, as an American Military convoy speeds by; FABRIZZIO waves, and calls out to each of the U.S. drivers, as they move by. FABRIZZIO America. Hey America! Take me with you! Hey, take me to America G.I.! EXT DAY: CORLEONE HILL They continue their long hike, high on a promentory; until they hesitate, and look down. CALO Corleone. They can see a grim Sicilian village, almost devoid of people. EXT DAY: CORLEONE STREET MICHAEL and his bodyguards move through the empty streets of the village. They walk behind him, and spread to either side about fifteen feet away from him. They move down ancient steps, past an old stone fountain. MICHAEL hesitates, cups his hands and drinks some water. They go on. They move up a very narrow old street. MICHAEL looks at the doorways that they pass. MOVING VIEW: Each door has a plaque, with a ribbon or flower. CALO sees MICHAEL looking. CALO The names of the dead. MICHAEL hesitates in the center of the main street. He looks. The street is empty, barren. Occasionally, an old woman will pass. MICHAEL turns his head. The other side of the street: empty and deathly. A HIGH VIEW of MICHAEL standing in the center of the old street, the shepherds a respectful distance away. -------------------------------------FADE OUT----------- EXT DAY: BARONIAL ESTATE A green ribboned field of a baronial Estate. Further ahead is a villa so Roman it looks as though it had just been discovered in the ruins of Pompeii. There is a group of young village GIRLS accompanied by two stocky MATRONS, dressed in black. They have been gathering the pink sulla, purple wisteria, and mixing them with orange and lemon blossoms. They are singing, off in the distance as they work. MICHAEL, CALO and FABRIZZIO are silent as they watch this Fantasy-like scene. FABRIZZIO (calling out to them) Hey, beautiful girls! MICHAEL (sternly) Shhhhh. He settles down to watch. The GIRLS are dressed in cheap gaily painted frocks that cling to their bodies. They are still in their teens, but developed and womanly. They are moving along the fields, picking blossoms, not aware of the three men watching them from the orange grove. Three or four of the girls begin chasing one of them playfully, in the direction of the grove. The GIRL being chased holds a bunch of purple grapes in her left hand and with the right, picks more grapes, and throws them back at her pursuers laughing. They come closer and closer. Just short of the grove, she poses, startled, her large, oval shaped eyes catching the view of the THREE MEN. She stands there on her toes about to run. MICHAEL sees her; now face to face. He looks. Her face. Incredibly beautiful with olive skin, black hair and a rich mouth. FABRIZZIO (murmuring) Jesus Christ, take my soul. I'm dying. Quickly, she turns, and runs away. MICHAEL stands up never taking his eyes from her. We hold on him for a long while; and eventually hear the SHEPHERDS laughing. Then he turns to them. FABRIZZIO You got hit by the thunderbolt, eh? CALO pats him on the shoulder. CALO Easy man. MICHAEL What are you talking about? FABRIZZIO You can't hide it when you're hit by the thunderbolt. EXT DAY: BARONIAL VILLAGE The little village built attendant to the Baronial Estate, is decked with the flowers the girls had been picking. MICHAEL, followed by the bodyguards, moves into the central square, and onto the balcony of a little cafe. The proprietor of the cafe, VITELLI, is a short burly man; he greets them cheerfully, and sets a dish of chickpeas at their table. FABRIZZIO You know all the girls in this town, eh? We saw some beauties coming down the road. One in particular got our friend hit with the Thunderbolt... (he indicates MICHAEL) VITELLI gives a big knowing laugh, and looks at MICHAEL with new interest. VITELLI You had better bring a few bottles home with you, my friend; you'll need help sleeping tonight. (he laughs) FABRIZZIO This one could seduce the devil. A body! and eyes as big and black as olives. VITELLI (laughing with them...pouring more wine) I know about what you mean! FABRIZZIO This was a beauty. Right, Calo? VITELLI (laughing) Beautiful all over, eh? FABRIZZIO And hair. Black and curly, like a doll. And such a mouth. VITELLI does not laugh quite so much. VITELLI Yes, we have beautiful girls here... but virtuous. VITELLI is no longer drinking with them. MICHAEL She wore a red dress, and a red ribbon in her hair. She looks more Greek than Italian. Do you know a beauty like that? As MICHAEL describes her, VITELLI laughed less and less, until he wears a scowl. VITELLI No. Then he curtly leaves him, and walks into the back room. FABRIZZIO God in Heaven, I think I understand... He goes into the back room after the innkeeper. Then he returns. FABRIZZIO Let's get out of here; he's boiling up his blood to do us mischief. It's his daughter. They start to leave; but MICHAEL doesn't move. CALO Come quickly. MICHAEL Innkeeper. More wine! FABRIZZIO (whispered) The old bastard mentioned two sons he only has to whistle up. MICHAEL turns to FABRIZZIO with his cold authority. MICHAEL Tell him to come to me. The two BODYGUARDS shoulder their luparas, and disappear in a moment they return with the red-faced angry VITELLI between them. MICHAEL (quietly) I understand I've offended you by talking about your daughter. I offer you my apologies, I'm a stranger in this country, I don't know the customs very well. Let me say this, I meant no disrespect to you or her... CALO and FABRIZZIO are impressed. VITELLI (shrugs) Who are you and what do you want from my daughter? MICHAEL I am an American hiding in Sicily from the police of my country. My name is Michael. You can inform the police and make your fortune but then your daughter would lose a father rather than gain a husband. In any case, I want to meet your daughter. With your permission and under the supervision of your family. With all decorum. With all respect. I am an honorable man. CALO and FABRIZZIO are stupefied; VITELLI pauses, and then asks: VITELLI Are you a friend of the friends? MICHAEL When the proper time comes, I'll tell you everything that a wife's father should know. FABRIZZIO It's the real Thunderbolt, then. VITELLI (formally) Come Sunday morning: My name is Vitelli and my house is up there on the hill, above the village. MICHAEL Your daughter's name? VITELLI Appolonia. -------------------------------------FADE OUT----------- EXT DAY: TOMMASSINO COURTYARD MUSIC comes up; as MICHAEL, dressed in new clothes from Palermo, and carrying a stack of wrapped gifts, gets into an Alfa Romeo. CALO and FABRIZZIO each dressed in their Sunday best, are in the rear seat, huddled together, with their luparas on their shoulders. DON TOMMASSINO waves them off, as the little car drives off, rocky and bouncing on the dirt road. The Sunday churchbells ring. --------------------------------------DISSOLVE---------- EXT DAY: VITELLI HOUSE MICHAEL is presented to each of the Vitelli relatives, by the yard of their little hilltop house; the BROTHERS; the MOTHER, who is given a gift; several UNCLES and AUNTS. Finally APPOLONIA enters, dressed beautifully in appropriate Sunday clothing. Now he presents the wrapped gift to APPOLONIA. She looks at her MOTHER, who with a nod gives her permission to open it. She unwraps it. Her eyes light at the sight of a heavy gold chain; to be worn as a necklace. She looks at him. APPOLONIA Grazia. --------------------------------------DISSOLVE---------- EXT DAY: VITELLI CAFE Now the little Alpha drives into the village near VITELLI's cafe. MICHAEL is, as ever, accompanied with his two BODYGUARDS, though they are all dressed differently. They go up to the cafe...and sit with VITELLI, who is talking and talking. MICHAEL looks at APPOLONIA; who sits, respectfully quiet. She wears the gold necklace around her neck. --------------------------------------DISSOLVE---------- EXT DAY: HILLTOP NEAR VITELLI HOME MICHAEL and APPOLONIA are walking through a hilltop path, seemingly alone, although a respectful distance apart. As the VIEW PANS with them, we notice that her MOTHER and a half dozen AUNTS are twenty paces behind them, and ten paces further behind are CALO and FABRIZZIO, their luparas on their shoulders. Further up the hill, APPOLONIA stumbles on a loose stone, and falls briefly onto MICHAEL's arm. She modestly regains her balance, and they continue walking. Behind them, her MOTHER giggles to herself. --------------------------------------DISSOLVE---------- EXT DAY: VITELLI VILLAGE CHURCH Church bells in an ancient belfry ring out. Music, old and dissonant, plays. There is a bridal procession in the street of the village; the same in feeling and texture as it might have been five hundred years ago. Donkeys and other animals have been decorated with abundant flowers; children carrying candles and wearing white confirmation gowns walk in the procession, followed by countless townspeople, members of the clergy, even the police. We present the entire bridal procession and ceremony with all the ritual and pageantry, as it has always been, in Sicily. APPOLONIA is radiant as the Bride; MICHAEL is handsome despite the grotesque jaw and occasional white handkerchief. --------------------------------------DISSOLVE---------- EXT NITE: VITELLI VILLAGE SQUARE CALO and FABRIZZIO dance wildly through the night of the great wedding celebration. It is held in the Village Square; under the watchful eyes of SHEPHERDS above on the tops of buildings, carrying luparas. --------------------------------------DISSOLVE---------- INT NITE: MICHAEL'S ROOM IN VILLA MICHAEL opens the shutters in his darkened room; moonlight fills the room. He turns, and there, in her wedding slip, is APPOLONIA. A little frightened; but lovely. He moves to her; and for a moment just stands before her, looking at her incredible face; her lovely hair and body. Slowly and tenderly he kisses her. Her tiny hands come up to his face; touch his cheek and embrace him. She lets her bridal slip fall to the floor. --------------------------------------FADE OUT---------- INT DAY: MICHAEL'S ROOM AT VILLA Morning. MICHAEL sits on the window ledge, gazing into the room. APPOLONIA is asleep; she is naked, and only partially covered by the bedsheets. He looks at her for a long time in the early morning light. EXT DAY: TOMMASSINO COURTYARD HIGH ANGLE ON DON TOMMASSINO'S VILLA We HEAR girlish laughter; the little Alpha is driving erratically, knocking down an occasional wall, and almost hitting th inner court wall. APPOLONIA is laughing, driving. MICHAEL pretends to be frightened, as he teaches her to drive. Outside the walls, we notice SHEPHERDS with luparas, walking guard duty. The car stops and a laughing MICHAEL gets out. MICHAEL It's safer to teach you English. APPOLONIA Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday...See, I learned it. Now teach me to drive! DON TOMMASSINO enters the Courtyard. He seems tired and concerned. MICHAEL Ciao, Don Tommassino. APPOLONIA kisses him. MICHAEL Things went badly in Palermo? DON TOMMASSINO The younger men have no respect. Things are changing; I don't know what will happen. Michael, because of the wedding, people now know your name. MICHAEL Is that why there are more men on the walls? DON TOMMASSINO Even so, I don't think it is safe here anymore. I've made plans to move you to a villa near Siracuse. You must go right away. MICHAEL What is it? DON TOMMASSINO Bad news from America. Your brother, Santino. He has been killed. For a moment, the whole world of New York, Sollozzo, the Five Family War, all comes back to MICHAEL. EXT DAY: VILLA COURTYARD Morning. MICHAEL leans out of the bedroom window. Below, FABRIZZIO is sitting in one of the garden chairs, combing his thick hair. MICHAEL whistles and FABRIZZIO looks up to his window. MICHAEL Get the car. I'll be leaving in ten minutes. Where's Calo? FABRIZZIO Calo is having a cup of coffee in the kitchen. Is your wife coming with you? MICHAEL No, she's going home to her family. She'll join me in a few weeks... INT DAY: VILLA KITCHEN MICHAEL, dressed, crosses from the hallway, and into the kitchen. CALO is just finishing a bite. He rises when he sees MICHAEL. CALO Should I get your bag? MICHAEL No, I'll get it. Where's Appolonia? CALO (smiling) She is sitting in the driver's seat of the car, dying to step on the gas. She'll be a real American woman before she gets to America. MICHAEL smiles. MICHAEL Tell Fabrizzio and wait for me in the car. He leaves the kitchen, after a quick sip of coffee. He looks out from the opening in the doorway. EXT DAY: VILLA COURTYARD There is the car, with APPOLONIA sitting in the driver's seat, playing with the wheel like a child. CALO moves to the car, and puts a lunch basket in the rear seat. Then MICHAEL seems disturbed. Over, on the other side of the courtyard, he sees FABRIZZIO disappear through the gate. MICHAEL (muttering to himself) Where the hell is he going? MICHAEL goes down the hallway, and outside. MICHAEL steps out into the bright sunlight of the outer courtyard, causing him to shade his eyes. APPOLONIA sees him, and waves, motioning that he should stay where he is. APPOLONIA (calling out) I'll drive to you. He smiles affectionately. CALO stands beside the car, smiling, with his lupara dangling by his side. There is no sight of FABRIZZIO. Suddenly the smile fades from MICHAEL's face. He steps forward and holds out his hand. MICHAEL No. No! His shout is drowned in the roar of a tremendous EXPLOSION, as she switched on the ignition. Part of the wall is caved in, the kitchen door is blown off; and there is nothing left of the Alpha, or of Appolonia. MICHAEL is thrown against the wall, and knocked unconscious. INT DAY: VILLA BEDROOM MICHAEL is unconscious in a darkened room. We hear whispering around him, but can't make any of it out. A soft cloth is applied to his face; gradually his eyes open. DON TOMMASSINO is there, close to him. He looks at them and from their grave expressions, he knows his wife is dead. MICHAEL Fabrizzio. Let your shepherds know that the one who gives me Fabrizzio will own the finest pastures in Sicily. --------------------------------------FADE OUT---------- FADE IN: EXT DAY: MALL (SPRING 1951) Easter. A HIGH VIEW ON THE CORLEONE MALL in the springtime. Hordes of little CHILDREN including many of the Corleone Children and Grandchilren, rush about carrying little Easter baskets, searching here and there for candy treasures and hidden Easter eggs. The DON himself, much older, much smaller in size, wearing baggy pants and a plaid shirt and an old hat, moves around his garden, tending rows and rows of rich tomato plants. Suddenly, he stops and looks. MICHAEL stands there, still holding his suitcase. Great emotion comes over the DON, who takes a few steps in MICHAEL's direction. MICHAEL leaves his suitcase and walks to his favorite son and embraces him. DON CORLEONE Be my son... INT DAY: THE OLIVE OIL FACTORY DON CORLEONE leads MICHAEL through the corridors of the building. DON CORLEONE This old building has seen its day. No way to do business...too small, too old. They enter the DON's glass-panelled office. DON CORLEONE Have you thought about a wife? A family? MICHAEL (pained) No. DON CORLEONE I understand, Michael. But you must make a family, you know. MICHAEL I want children, I want a family. But I don't know when. DON CORLEONE Accept what's happened, Michael. MICHAEL I could accept everything that's happened; I could accept it, but that I never had a choice. From the time I was born, you had laid this all out for me. DON CORLEONE No, I wanted other things for you. MICHAEL You wanted me to be your son. DON CORLEONE Yes, but sons who would be professors, scientists, musicians...and grandchildren who could be, who knows, a Governor, a President even, nothing's impossible here in America. MICHAEL Then why have I become a man like you? DON CORLEONE You are like me, we refuse to be fools, to be puppets dancing on a string pulled by other men. I hoped the time for guns and killing and massacres was over. That was my misfortune. That was your misfortune. I was hunted on the streets of Corleone when I was twelve years old because of who my father was. I had no choice. MICHAEL A man has to choose what he will be. I believe that. DON CORLEONE What else do you believe in? MICHAEL doesn't answer. DON CORLEONE Believe in a family. Can you believe in your country? Those Pezzonovante of the State who decide what we shall do with our lives? Who declare wars they wish us to fight in to protect what they own. Do you put your fate in the hands of men whose only talent is that they tricked a bloc of people to vote for them? Michael, in five years the Corleone family can be completely legitimate. Very difficult things have to happen to make that possible. I can't do them anymore, but you can, if you choose to. MICHAEL listens. DON CORLEONE Believe in a family; believe in a Code of Honor, older and higher, believe in Roots that go back thousands of years into your Race. Make a family, Michael, and protect it. These are our affairs, sono cosa nostra, Governments only protect men who have their own individual power. Be one of those men...you have the choice. --------------------------------------FADE OUT---------- EXT DAY: STOCK FOOTAGE LAS VEGAS (1955) A MOVING VIEW, driving up the Las Vegas Strip of 1955. FREDO (O.S.) There's a new one. Construction going on everywhere. MORE VIEWS, showing new hotels and casinos being built; the bill marquees read: "MARTIN AND LEWIS", "PATTI PAGE", etc. FREDO (O.S.) That's one of the family's new ones. Not bad, eh? EXT DAY: FLAMINGO (1955) The car pulls up at the Flamingo Hotel. Inside the car: MICHAEL, FREDO, TOM HAGEN and a new man, NERI, quiet and sinister. MICHAEL Why didn't Moe Green meet us at the airport? FREDO He had business at the hotel, but he'll drop in for dinner. From the expression on MICHAEL's face we know this is a discourtesy. INT DAY: FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE (1955) A whole entourage precedes FREDO and his V.I.P. party of MICHAEL, HAGEN and NERI. Great fuss is made. They are being shown into the hotel's 'special' suite. FREDO You look wonderful, kid; really wonderful. That doctor did some job on your face. MICHAEL You look good, too. They enter the suite. FREDO Nice, eh? FREDO is as excited as a kid, snapping orders at the bellboys, waiters and maids. FREDO (hurrying into the bedroom) Kid, take a look-see. MICHAEL gives a look to HAGEN, and continues into the bedroom. There is an enormous circular bed on a huge platform, mirrors to each side. FREDO points upward. A VIEW into a large CEILING mirror. FREDO Ever seen anything like that before? MICHAEL (dryly) No. INT NITE: FLAMINGO SUITE BEDROOM (1955) MICHAEL is alone in the bedroom. He is just finishing dressing; he puts on his jacket. From the window, with the lights blinking, we can tell it's late at night. MICHAEL passes into the other room. He stops, looks. He is disturbed. INT NITE: FLAMINGO SUITE (1955) A magnificent, circular table has been set up in his suite; a lavish table setting for eight. Standing by the table are HAGEN, JOHNNY FONTANE, looking wonderful, a little heavier, beautifully dressed; FREDO, a dandy, and TWO LAS VEGAS GIRLS. NERI stands quietly by the door. FREDO Mike! The party starting! MICHAEL Come here a minute, Fredo. FREDO goes to him, a big smile all over his face. MICHAEL Who are those girls? FREDO (jokingly) That's for you to find out. MICHAEL Give them some money and send them home. FREDO Mike! MICHAEL Get rid of them... INT NITE: FLAMINGO SUITE (1955) They are seated around the lavish table in Michael's suite. MICHAEL is speaking to JOHNNY. MICHAEL Johnny, the Corleone family is thinking of selling out all our interests in the Olive Oil business and settling here. Moe Greene will sell us his interest so it can be wholly owned by friends of the family. FREDDIE seems anxious. FREDO Mike, you sure about Moe selling. He never mentioned it to me and he loves the business. MICHAEL I'll make him an offer he can't refuse. MICHAEL turns to JOHNNY. MICHAEL Johnny, the Don wants you to help us get started. We figure entertainment will be the big factor in drawing gamblers. We hope you'll sign a contract to appear five times a year for maybe a week long engagement. We hope your friends in the movies will do the same. We count on you to convince them. JOHNNY Sure, I'll do anything for my Godfather. You know that, Mike. There is knock on the door. NERI rises, looks at MICHAEL, who nods. NERI opens the door, and MOE GREENE enters, followed by TWO BODYGUARDS. He is a handsome hood, dressed in the Hollywood style. His BODYGUARDS are more West Coast style. MOE Mike, good to see you. Got everything you want? MICHAEL Thanks. MOE The chef cooked for you special; the dancers will kick your tongue out and you credit is good! (to his BODYGUARDS) Draw chips for all these people so they can play on the house. MICHAEL Is my credit good enough to buy you out? MOE laughs. MOE Buy me out?... MICHAEL The hotel, the casino. The Corleone family wants to buy you out. GREENE stops laughing; the room becomes tense. NERI eyes the BODYGUARDS. MOE (furious) The Corleone family wants to buy me out. I buy you out. You don't buy me out. MICHAEL Your casino loses money. Maybe we can do better. MOE You think I scam? MICHAEL (the worst insult) You're unlucky. MOE You goddamn dagos. I do you a favor and take Freddie in when you're having a bad time, and then you try to push me out. MICHAEL You took Freddie in because the Corleone family bankrolled your casino. You and the Corleone family are evened out. This is for business; name your price. MOE The Corleone family don't have that kind of muscle anymore. The Godfather is sick. You're getting chased out of New York by Barzini and the other families, and you think you can find easier pickings here. I've talked to Barzini; I can make a deal with him and keep my hotel! MICHAEL (quietly, deadly) Is that why you thought you could slap Freddie around in public? FREDO (his face turns red) Ah Mike, that was nothing. Moe didn't mean anything. He flies off the handle sometimes; but me and him are good friends. Right, Moe? MOE Yeah sure. Sometimes I gotta kick asses to make this place run right. Freddie and I had a little argument and I had to straighten him out. MICHAEL You straightened my brother out? MOE Hell, he was banging cocktail waitresses two at a time. Players couldn't get a drink. MICHAEL rises from his chair, and says in a tone of dismissal: MICHAEL I have to go back to New York tomorrow. Think of your price. MOE You son of a bitch, you think you can brush me off like that? I made my bones when you were going out with cheerleaders. FREDO (frightened) Tom, you're the Consigliere; you can talk to the Don and advise him. MICHAEL The Don has semi-retired. I'm running the Family business now. So anything you have to say, say it to me. Nobody answers. MICHAEL nods to NERI, who opens the door. MOE exits angrily. MICHAEL Freddie, you're my older brother. I love you. But don't ever take sides with anybody against the Family again. EXT DAY: N.Y. AIRPORT (1955) KAY sits in the back of a limousine parked by the Newark AIRPORT. ROCCO LAMPONE is leaning against it. She has a little three year old boy; MICHAEL's son, who plays with a cardboard bird on a string. Two other cars are stationed discreetly, with men we have learned to tell are bodyguards. MICHAEL, HAGEN and NERI exit the airport with TWO NEGRO PORTERS carrying luggage. NERI sees something, and taps MICHAEL on the shoulder. MICHAEL turns, and sees KAY. LAMPONE opens the car door; KAY steps out with the BOY, and MICHAEL embraces her, and kisses his son. Automatically, the luggage is put in. NERI replaces LAMPONE as the driver; and LAMPONE joins the other men. HAGEN gets into one of the other cars. And the limo drives off, preceded and followed by the other sedans. INT DAY: LIMO (1955) The little BOY looks out the window as they drive. MICHAEL I have to see my father and his people when we get back to the Mall. KAY Oh Michael. MICHAEL We'll go to the show tomorrow night--we can change the tickets. KAY Don't you want dinner first? MICHAEL No, you eat...don't wait up for me. KAY Wake me up when you come to bed? The little BOY flies his cardboard bird out of the speeding limousine window. EXT DAY: MALL (1955) The limousine arrives at the Mall. We are inside. KAY Your sister wants to ask you something. MICHAEL Let HER ask. NERI opens the door. KAY wants to talk just a little more. KAY She's afraid to. Michael... MICHAEL nods to NERI; who gives them their privacy a moment longer. KAY Why are you so cold to her and Carlo? They live with us on the Mall now, but you never get close to them. MICHAEL I'm busy. KAY Connie and Carlo want you to be godfather to their little boy. NERI opens the door; MICHAEL starts to get out; KAY too. He smiles at her, tired, and a little sad. KAY Will you? MICHAEL Let me think about it, O.K.? She smiles; MICHAEL goes with NERI to the Main House; KAY and the little BOY move to the house that was Sonny's. INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (1955) VIEW ON DON CORLEONE, much older, much smaller in size. He wears baggy pants, and a warm plaid shirt. He sits in a chair, gazing out through the window, into the garden. TESSIO (O.S.) Barzini's people chisel my territory and we do nothing about it. Pretty soon there won't be one place in Brooklyn I can hang my hat. MICHAEL (O.S.) Just be patient. TESSIO I'm not asking you for help, Mike. Just take off the handcuffs. MICHAEL (O.S.) Be patient. CLEMENZA (O.S.) We gotta fight sometime. Let us at least recruit our regimes to full strength. MICHAEL (O.S.) No, I don't want to give Barzini an excuse to start fighting. TESSIO (O.S.) Mike, you're wrong. CLEMENZA (O.S.) Don Corleone...Don Corleone. The OLD MAN looks up. CLEMENZA stand before him in the Den. Beside him is an anxious TESSIO. NERI stands by the door; HAGEN is seated; MICHAEL sits behind the big desk. CLEMENZA You said there would come a day when Tessio and me could form our own Families. Only with your benediction, of course. I ask permission... DON CORLEONE My son is head of the Family now. If you have his permission, you have my good will. MICHAEL In six months you can break off from the Corleone Family and go on your own. Carlo, I'm counting on you to make the move to Nevada; you'll be my right-hand man out there. Tom Hagen is no longer the Consigliere. Everyone is a bit surprised; look to see HAGEN's reaction. He remains inexpressive. MICHAEL He's going to be our lawyer in Vegas. Nobody goes to him with any other business as of now, this minute. No reflection on Tom; that's the way I want it. Besides, if I ever need any advice, who's a better Consigliere than my father. CLEMENZA Then in a six month time we're on our own; is that it? MICHAEL Maybe less... TESSIO Let us fill up our Regimes. MICHAEL No. I want things very calm for another six months. TESSIO Forgive me, Godfather, let our years of friendship be my excuse. How can you hope for success there without your strength here to back you up? The two go hand in hand. And with you gone from here the Barzini and the Tattaglias will be too strong for us. CLEMENZA And I don't like Barzini. I say the Corleone Family has to move from strength, not weakness. We should build our Regimes and take back our lost territories in Staten Island, at least. DON CORLEONE Do you have faith in my judgement? CLEMENZA Yes, Godfather... DON CORLEONE Then do what Michael says... MICHAEL All I can say is that things are being resolved that are more effective than a thousand buttonmen on the streets. Understood? There are uneasy looks all around. CARLO Understood. I just wish I was doing more to help out. MICHAEL I'll come to you when I need you. He looks at CLEMENZA, TESSIO and HAGEN. They all nod, reluctantly. MICHAEL All right, then it's resolved. NERI knows the meeting is over, he opens the Den's door. CLEMENZA and TESSIO pay their respects to the DON and leave, then CARLO. NERI watches CARLO as he walks down the corridor, casting a nervous look back at the sinister man. Then NERI closes the door. MICHAEL relaxes. HAGEN Mike, why are you cutting me out of the action? MICHAEL Tom, we're going to be legitimate all the way, and you're the legal man. What could be more important than that. HAGEN I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about Rocco Lampone building a secret regime. Why does Neri report directly to you, rather than through me or a caporegime? DON CORLEONE I told you that it wouldn't escape his eye. MICHAEL How did you find out? HAGEN Bookkeepers know everything. Rocco's men are all a little too good for the jobs they're supposed to be doing. They get a little more money than the job's worth. (pause) Lampone's a good man; he's operating perfectly. MICHAEL Not so perfectly if you noticed. HAGEN Mike, why am I out? MICHAEL You're not a wartime Consigliere. Things may get tough with the move we're trying. HAGEN OK, but then I agree with Tessio. You're going about it all wrong; you're making the move out of weakness... Barzini's a wolf, and if he tears you apart, the other families won't come running to help the Corleones... DON CORLEONE Tom, I never thought you were a bad Consigliere, I thought Santino a bad Don, rest in peace. He had a good heart but he wasn't the right man to head the family when I had my misfortune. Michael has all my confidence, as you do. For reasons which you can't know, you must have no part in what will happen. HAGEN Maybe I can help. MICHAEL (coldly) You're out, Tom. TOM pauses, thinks...and then he nods in acquiescence. TOM leaves. MICHAEL looks at NERI. MICHAEL I'm going to talk to my father. NERI nods, and then leaves. The DON opens the doors, breathes in the air, and steps outside. EXT DAY: THE GARDEN (1955) DON CORLEONE I see you have your Luca Brasi. MICHAEL I'll need him. DON CORLEONE There are men in this world who demand to be killed. They argue in gambling games; they jump out of their cars in a rage if someone so much as scratches their fender. These people wander through the streets calling out "Kill me, kill me." Luca Brasi was like that. And since he wasn't scared of death, and in fact, looked for it...I made him my weapon. Because I was the only person in the world that he truly hoped would not kill him. I think you have done the same with this man. They walk through the DON's vegetable garden. Tomatoes, peppers, carefully tended, and covered with a silky netting. MICHAEL follows; the DON turns and looks at him. Then stoops over to right a tomato plant that had been pushed over. DON CORLEONE Barzini will move against you first. MICHAEL How? DON CORLEONE He will get in touch with you through someone you absolutely trust. That person will arrange a meeting, guarantee your safety... He rises, and looks at Michael... DON CORLEONE ...and at that meeting you will be assassinated. The DON walks on further. DON CORLEONE Your wife and children...you're happy with them? MICHAEL Yes. DON CORLEONE Good. MICHAEL wants to express something...hesitates, then: MICHAEL I've always respected you... A long silence. The DON smiles at MICHAEL. DON CORLEONE And I...you. EXT DAY: CHURCH (1955) KAY and MAMA walking from the black car that has just left them off. KAY How is your husband feeling? MAMA He's not the same since they shot him. He lets Michael do all the work. He just plays the fool with his garden, his peppers, his tomatoes, as if he was some peasant still. But men are like that... She stops toward the Church. MAMA You come in, too. KAY shakes her head. MAMA The Priest ain't gonna bite you cause you're not Catholic. (whispered) He's in the back drinkin' his wine. KAY laughs and follows MAMA up the steps of the Church. They enter. INT DAY: CHURCH (1955) Inside the Church, KAY watches as MAMA blesses herself from the holy water. MAMA You can. Tentatively, KAY dips her fingers into the water, and blesses herself. Then SHE follows MAMA down the aisle, in awe at the high ceiling, the art, the windows, and finally the Altar. MAMA stops by the impressive tiers of candles. There is a large coin box for those who wish to pay for lighting candles. MAMA fumbles in her purse for change; KAY gives her some. MAMA drops the coins in the box, one by one; then takes the taper, and in a pattern known only to her, and with great dignity, she closes her eyes, says a prayer, and then lights twenty candles. She finishes, and bows her head. EXT DAY: BONASERA'S FUNERAL HOME Very few people in the streets. TOTAL SILENCE. But black flower cars as far as the eye can see, for blocks and blocks. An expression of respect, of honor and fear that is enormous. Certainly no more could be done for a President or a King. Each car carries an elaborate floral decoration. We show these in detail; and the flowered messages: "A Benefactor to Mankind", "He Knew and Pitied"..."Our Don Our Leader"..."The Sacred Heart"... EXT DAY: MALL (1955) HIGH ANGLE ON THE CORLEONE MALL Silence. The flower cars, funeral limousines, and private cars fill all the areas attendant to the Corleone residence. Hundreds of people fill the Mall, reminiscent in size of the wedding of Connie and Carlo; of course, now the mood is somber and respectful. MICHAEL, MAMA, FREDO and HAGEN stand by the flowered platform which holds the ornate coffin. We cannot see the remains of Don Corleone. BONASERA is nearby, ready to do service to the bereaved family. One by one the mourners come by, weeping, or merely with grave expressions; pay their respects and continue on. The VIEW ALTERS, and we see that the line is endless. JOHNNY FONTANE, tears openly falling, takes his turn. Children are taken by the hand, and lifted for their last look at the great man. CLEMENZA whispers into the ear of LAMPONE. LAMPONE immediately arranges for the members of the Five New York Families to pay their respects. First CUNEO, then STRACHI and then ZALUCHI. Then PHILIP TATTAGLIA, who merely passes by the Coffin. Then BARZINI in a black homburg, standing a long time. MICHAEL watches the scene. BARZINI crosses himself and passes on, immediately rejoined by his men. As BARZINI leaves, it seems as though everyone is fawning on him; perhaps asking for favors: But at any rate, it is clear from the doors opened for him, the cigars lit for him, that he is the new Capo di Capi--the place formerly held by Don Corleone. MICHAEL watches silently. BARZINI is searching for somebody with his eyes. First CLEMENZA. Then TESSIO. CONNIE rushes into MICHAEL's arms, tears in her eyes. He embraces and comforts her. Everywhere MICHAEL goes, NERI is a few feet away--watching all who come close to him. EXT DAY: MALL (LATER) Later on the Mall; some people have left, although there are still hundreds of mourners. A young GIRL approaches TESSIO. She's about 18. GIRL Do you remember me? TESSIO No... GIRL We danced together at Connie's wedding. TESSIO makes a gesture, which is to say 'How you've grown', and they move though the crowd, looking for Michael. He finds him. TESSIO Mike, could I have a minute? MIKE; nods; and they move to a private place. NERI is close by. TESSIO Barzini wants to arrange a meeting. Says we can straighten any of our problems out. MICHAEL He talked to you? TESSIO (nods) I can arrange security. MICHAEL looks at him. EXT DAY: CEMETERY (1955) The Cemetery. Late day. The hundreds of cars, limousines and flower cars line the stone wall that surrounds this Italian-Catholic cemetary in Queens Village. Hundreds of people stand in a cluster; others watch; take pictures, etc. MICHAEL stands with his family, his MOTHER...and TOM HAGEN. MICHAEL (softly) Christ, Tom; I needed more time with him. I really needed him. HAGEN Did he give you his politicians? MICHAEL Not all...I needed another four months and I would have had them all. (he looks at TOM) I guess you've figured it all out? HAGEN How will they come at you? MICHAEL I know now. (a passion wells up inside of MICHAEL) I'll make them call me Don. HAGEN Have you agreed on a meeting? MICHAEL (nods) A week from tonight. In Brooklyn on Tessio's ground, where I'll be safe. HAGEN looks at him; understands. MICHAEL But after the Baptism. I've decided to stand as godfather to Connie's baby. They look up. The coffin is lowered into an excavation, behind which stands an enormous stone monument; it is of a weeping angel, with the bold inscription: CORLEONE. ---------------------------------------FADE OUT--------- FADE IN: INT DAY: NERI'S APT. (1955) ALBERT NERI moves around in his small Corona Apartment; he pulls a small trunk from under his bed. He opens it, and we see in it, nearly folded, a New York City Policeman's uniform. He takes it out piece by piece, almost reverently. Then the badge, and the identification card; with his picture on it. Slowly, in the solitude of his room, he begins to dress. INT DAY: MICHAEL'S BEDROOM (1955) MICHAEL and KAY are getting dressed for the christening in their room. MICHAEL looks very well; very calm; KAY is beginning to take on a matronly look. INT DAY: MOTEL ROOM (1955) In a Long Island motel. ROCCO LAMPONE carefully disassembles a revolver; oils it, checks it, and puts it back together. EXT DAY: CLEMENZA'S HOUSE (1955) PETER CLEMENZA about to get in his Lincoln. He hesitates, takes a rag and cleans some dirt off of the fender, and then gets in, drives off. EXT DAY: CHURCH (1955) The Church. Various relatives and friends are beginning to gather at the Church. They laugh and talk. A MONSIGNOR is officiating. Not all of the participants have arrived yet. CONNIE is there, with a beaming CARLO. She holds the infant; showing him off to interested people. EXT DAY: U.N. PLAZA (1955) NERI walks down the sidewalk in the neighborhood of the UN Building. He is dressed as, and has the bearing of, a policeman. He carries a huge flashlight. EXT DAY: MOTEL BALCONY (1955) LAMPONE steps out onto the little balcony of a Sea-Resort Motel; We can see the bright, neon lit sign advertising "ROOMS FACING THE SEA--VACANY". INT DAY: CHURCH The Church. CONNIE holds the baby; the MONSIGNOR is speaking; KAY and MICHAEL stand side by side around the urn. PRIEST (to MICHAEL) Do you pledge to guide and protect this child if he is left fatherless? Do you promise to shield him against the wickedness of the world? MICHAEL Yes, I promise. EXT DAY: FIFTH AVE. NERI continues up the 55th St. and Fifth Avenue area. He continues until he is in front of Rockefeller Center. On his side of the street, he spots a limousine waiting directly across from the main entrance of the building. Slowly he approaches the limo, and taps on its fender with his nightstick. The DRIVER looks up in surprise. NERI points to the "No Parking" sign. The DRIVER turns his head away. NERI OK, wise guy, you wanna summons, or you wanna move? DRIVER (obviously a hood) You better check with your precinct. NERI Move it! The DRIVER takes a ten dollar bill, folds it deliberately, and hands it out the window, trying to put it under NERI's jacket. NERI backs up, letting the bill fall onto the street. Then he crooks a finger at the DRIVER. NERI Let me see you license and registration. EXT DAY: MOTEL BALCONY LAMPONE on the motel balcony spots a Cadillac pulling up. It parks. A young, pretty GIRL gets out. Quickly, he returns into the room. INT DAY: HOTEL STAIRS (1955) CLEMENZA is climbing the back stairs of a large hotel. He rounds the corner, puffs a little, and then continues upward. INT DAY: CHURCH The Church. Close on the PRIEST's fingers as he gently applies oil to the infant's ears and nostrils. PRIEST Ephetha...be opened...So you may perceive the fragrance of God's sweetness. EXT DAY: ROCKEFELLER CENTER (1955) The DRIVER of the limousine in front of Rockefeller Center is arguing with NERI. Now the DRIVER looks up. WHAT HE SEES: TWO MEN in topcoats exit the building, through the revolving glass doors. NERI opens up fire, trapping BARZINI in the shattering glass doors. The doors still rotate, moving the dead body of BARZINI within them. INT DAY: CHURCH In the Church--the VIEW on MICHAEL. The PRIEST hands him the infant. PRIEST Do you renounce Satan. MICHAEL I do renounce him. PRIEST And all his works? MICHAEL I do renounce them. INT DAY: MOTEL MURDER (1955) LAMPONE, backed up by two other MEN in his regime, runs down the iron-rail steps, and kicks in the door on Room 7F. PHILIP TATTAGLIA, old and wizened and naked, leaps up; a semi-nude young GIRL leans up. They are riddled with gunfire. INT DAY: HOTEL STAIRS (1955) CLEMENZA, huffing and puffing, climbs the back stairs, with his package. INT DAY: CHURCH The PRIEST pours water over the forehead of the infant MICHAEL holds. PRIEST Do you wish to be baptized? MICHAEL I do wish to be baptized. INT DAY: HOTEL ELEVATOR MURDER (1955) CLEMENZA, out of breath, climbs the final few steps. He walks through some glass doors, and moves to an ornate elevator waiting shaft. The lights indicate the elevator has arrived. The doors open, and we see a surprised CUNEO standing with the dapper MOE GREENE. CLEMENZA fires into the small elevator with a shotgun. The PRIEST hands a lighted candle to MICHAEL. PRIEST I christen you Michael Francis Rizzi. Flash bulbs go off. Everyone is smiles, and crowds around MICHAEL, KAY, CONNIE...and CARLO. --------------------------------------FADE OUT---------- EXT DAY: CHURCH (1955) The christening party outside the Church. Four or five limousines have been waiting; now pull up to receive MAMA, CONNIE and the baby; and the others. Everyone is very happy; only MICHAEL seems aloof and grave. As the fuss is going on, a car pulls up. LAMPONE gets out and works his way to MICHAEL. He whispers in his ear. This is the news MICHAEL has been waiting for. CONNIE holds the baby up to MICHAEL. CONNIE Kiss your Godfather. The infant turns its head, and MICHAEL uses that as an excuse to back away. MICHAEL Carlo...we've had a change in the plans. Mama, Connie, Kay and the kids will have to take the trip out to Vegas without us. CONNIE Oh Mike, it's our first vacation together. CARLO (anxious to please) Jesus, Connie...Sure, Mike... MICHAEL Go back to your house and wait for me... He kisses KAY. MICHAEL (to KAY) I'll just be a couple of days... People are guided to the correct limousines; they start to drive off. INT DAY: DON'S KITCHEN TESSIO sits in the Kitchen of the Main House on the Mall. HAGEN enters. HAGEN You'd better make your call to Barzini; Michael's ready. TESSIO nods; moves to the telephone and dials a number. TESSIO We're on our way to Brooklyn. He hangs up and smiles. TESSIO I hope Mike can get us a good deal tonight. HAGEN (gravely) I'm sure he will. EXT DAY: MALL (1955) The TWO MEN walk out onto the Mall, toward a car. On their way they are stopped by TWO BODYGUARDS. BUTTON MAN The boss says he'll come in a separate car. He says for you two to go on ahead. TESSIO (frowning) Hell, he can't do that. It screws up all my arrangements. THREE MORE BODYGUARDS appear around him. HAGEN (gently) I can't go with you either, Tessio. He flashes at the men surrounding him; for a moment he panics, and then he accepts it. TESSIO (after the pause) Tell Mike it was business...I always liked him. HAGEN He understands that. TESSIO looks at the men, and then pauses. TESSIO (softly) Tom, can you get me off the hook? For old times' sake? HAGEN I can't. HAGEN turns, and walks away from the group. Then about twenty paces away, he stops, and looks back. TESSIO is led into a waiting car. HAGEN looks away, and walks off. INT DAY: CARLO'S LIVING ROOM (1955) CARLO RIZZI is alone in his house, smoking, waiting rather nervously. He moves to the window and looks out. WHAT HE SEES: EXT DAY: MALL (1955) MICHAEL, still dressed in a dark suit; followed by NERI, LAMPONE and CLEMENZA, then HAGEN. They move toward us. Excitedly, CARLO moves to the front door; opens it. He wears a broad smile. CARLO Godfather! MICHAEL You have to answer for Santino. The smile on CARLO's face slowly fades, then, in a foolish attempt for safety, he slams the door in their faces and backs into the living room. INT DAY: CARLO'S LIVING ROOM (1955) The door opens, and the grim party enters. MICHAEL You fingered Sonny for the Barzini people. That little farce you played out with my sister. Did Barzini kid you that would fool a Corleone? CARLO (dignity) I swear I'm innocent. I swear on the head of my children, I'm innocent. Mike, don't do this to me, please Mike, don't do this to me! MICHAEL (quietly) Barzini is dead. So is Philip Tattaglia, so are Strachi, Cuneo and Moe Greene...I want to square all the family accounts tonight. So don't tell me you're innocent; admit what you did. CARLO is silent; he wants to talk but is terrified. MICHAEL (almost kindly) Don't be frightened. Do you think I'd make my sister a widow? Do you think I'd make your children fatherless? After all, I'm Godfather to your son. No, your punishment is that you're out of the family business. I'm putting you on a plane to Vegas--and I want you to stay there. I'll send Connie an allowance, that's all. But don't keep saying you're innocent; it insults my intelligence and makes me angry. Who approached you, Tattaglia or Barzini? CARLO (sees his way out) Barzini. MICHAEL (softly) Good, good. Leave now; there's a car waiting to take you to the airport. CARLO moves to the door; opens it. There is a car waiting; with a group of MEN around it. He looks back at MICHAEL, who reassures him. MICHAEL I'll call your wife and tell her what flight you're on. EXT DAY: MALL CARLO moves out to the Mall; the BUTTONMEN are putting his things in the trunk. ONE opens the front door for him. SOMEONE is sitting in the rear seat, though we cannot see who. CARLO gets into the car; out of nervousness, he looks back to see the other man. It is CLEMENZA, who nods cordially. The motor starts, and as the car pulls away, CLEMENZA suddenly throws the garrote around CARLO's neck. He chokes and leaps up like a fish on a line, kicking his feet. The garrote is pulled tighter; CARLO's face turns color. His thrashing feet kick right through the front windshield. Then the body goes slack. CLEMENZA makes a foul face, and opens the window as the car drives off. EXT DAY: CARLO'S STEPS (1955) MICHAEL and his party. They watch. Then he turns and walks off, and they follow. ---------------------------------------FADE OUT--------- FADE IN: INT NITE: MICHAEL'S LIMO EN ROUTE (1955) MICHAEL sits alone in the back of his car; NERI is driving. They do not speak for a long time; it is night--car lights flash by. NERI turns back. NERI You know I would never question anything you say. MICHAEL (smiles) Speak your mind. NERI I'll do this for you; you know I should. MICHAEL No. This I have to do. EXT NITE: PIZZA STREET (1955) MICHAEL's car pulls up in a quiet neighborhood, near an Italian Pizzeria. NERI opens the door. MICHAEL Sit in the car. INT NITE: PIZZA PLACE (1955) He walks alone into the restaurant. A MAN is tossing pizza dough in the air. MICHAEL Where's the boss? MAN In the back. Hey Frank, someone wants you. A MAN comes out of the shadows, with a strong Italian accent. MAN What is it? He stops, frozen in fear. It is FABRIZZIO. VIEW ON MICHAEL. Gunfire from under his coat. FABRIZZIO is cut down. MICHAEL throws the gun down; turns and exits. EXT DAY: MALL (1955) HIGH ANGLE ON THE CORLEONE MALL Several moving vans are parked in the Mall; one feels that these are the final days; the families are moving out; signs indicating that the property is for sale are evident. A black limousine pulls up, and before it has even stopped, the rear door flies open, and CONNIE attempts to run out, restrained by MAMA. She manages to break free and runs across the Mall into Michael's house. INT DAY: DON'S LIVING ROOM (1955) Inside the Corleone house. Big boxes have been packed; furniture prepared for shipping. CONNIE Michael! She hurries into the living room, where she comes upon MICHAEL and KAY. KAY (comforting) Connie... But CONNIE avoids her, and moves directly to MICHAEL. NERI is watchful. CONNIE You lousy bastard; you killed my husband... KAY Connie... CONNIE You waited until our father died and nobody could stop you and you killed him, you killed him! You blamed him about Sonny, you always did, everybody did. But you never thought about me, never gave a damn about me. (crying) What am I going to do now, what am I going to do. TWO of Michael's BODYGUARDS move closer, ready for orders from him. But he stands there, waiting for his sister to finish. KAY Connie, how could you say such things? CONNIE Why do you think he kept Carlo on the Mall? All the time he knew he was going to kill my husband. But he didn't dare while my father was alive. And then he stood Godfather to our child. That coldhearted bastard. (to KAY) And do you know how many men he had killed with Carlo? Just read the papers. That's your husband. She tries to spit into MICHAEL's face; but in her hysteria she has no saliva. MICHAEL Get her home and get a doctor. The TWO BODYGUARDS immediately take her arms and move her, gently but firmly. KAY is shocked; never taking her look of amazement from MICHAEL. He feels her look. MICHAEL She's hysterical. But KAY won't let him avoid her eyes. KAY Michael, it's not true. Please tell me. MICHAEL Don't ask me. KAY Tell me! MICHAEL All right, this one time I'll let you ask about my affairs, one last time. KAY Is it true? She looks directly into his eyes, he returns the look, so directly that we know he will tell the truth. MICHAEL (after a very long pause) No. KAY is relieved; she throws her arms around him, and hugs him. Then she kisses him. KAY (through her tears) We both need a drink. INT DAY: DON'S KITCHEN (1955) She moves back into the kitchen and begins to prepare the drinks. From her vantage point, as she smilingly makes the drinks, she sees CLEMENZA, NERI and ROCCO LAMPONE enter the house with their BODYGUARDS. She watches with curiosity, as MICHAEL stands to receive them. He stands arrogantly at ease, weight resting on one foot slightly behind the other. One hand on his hip, like a Roman Emperor. The CAPOREGIMES stand before him. CLEMENZA takes MICHAEL's hand, kissing it. CLEMENZA Don Corleone... The smile fades from KAY's face, as she looks at what her husband has become. INT DAY: CHURCH (1955) KAY wears a shawl over her hand. She drops many coins in the coin box, and lifts a burning taper, and one by one, in a pattern known only to herself, lights thirty candles. THE ENDAdd comment War And PeaceThis book should bc^rcturned on or before the date last marked below. War and Peace Add comment The Bee MovieAccording to all known lawsof aviation, there is no way a beeshould be able to fly. Its wings are too small to getits fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't carewhat humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow!Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry?- Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening?- I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your fatherpaid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate.We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz.- Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.- Bye! Barry, I told you,stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam.- Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel?- A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school,three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I tooka day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry.- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie?- Yeah. - You going to the funeral?- No, I'm not going. Everybody knows,sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel.Such a hothead. I guess he could havejust gotten out of the way. I love this incorporatingan amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp...under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men.- We are! - Bee-men.- Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oitygraduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your careerat Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennasinside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like?- A little scary. Welcome to Honex,a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee,have worked your whole life to get to the point where youcan work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant PollenJocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected,scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctivegolden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot.- She's my cousin! - She is?- Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right.- At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspectof bee existence. These bees are stress-testinga new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes?- Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement,the Krelman. - What does that do?- Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it.Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs aresmall ones. But bees know that every small job,if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the jobyou pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life?I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees,as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?"How can you say that? One job forever?That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only haveto make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could theynever have told us that? Why would you question anything?We're bees. We're the most perfectlyfunctioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe thingswork a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you knowwhat I'm talking about. Please clear the gate.Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!- Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's likeoutside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks!- Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters!You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were.- I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knowswhere, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a PollenJock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollenthan you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol.Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing itand the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies?Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys.- Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerousbeing a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned meagainst a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat,and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my!- I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today,wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patchsix miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh?- Barry! A puddle jump for us,but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am.- You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy?Are you bee enough? I might be. It all dependson what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices.- But you only get one. Do you ever get boreddoing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you justmove it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm.It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad,the more I think about it, maybe the honey fieldjust isn't right for me. You were thinking of what,making balloon animals? That's a bad jobfor a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not surehe wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes.- I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're goinginto honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer?- No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now.I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Geta gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today!- Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobswill be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available?- Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations!Step to the side. - What'd you get?- Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first?- No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open,not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman?- Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See?He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up.Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling,stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven,lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, whatdo you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patchin quadrant nine... What happened to you?Where are you? - I'm going out.- Out? Out where? - Out there.- Oh, no! I have to, before I goto work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave,there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that.- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you.- OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know,bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always,watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs,birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reportsof root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it,babbling like a cicada! - That's awful.- And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one,absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check.- Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check.- Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias,you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader.We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid.It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close?- No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle itover here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one.See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, moreflowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowersseems to be on the move. Say again? You're reportinga moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good.Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys!- This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him?- I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey,because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something!- I'm driving! - Hi, bee.- He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move,he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension levelout here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you closethe window please? Ken, could you closethe window please? Oheck out my new resume.I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time.This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my specialskills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they'reflabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sunhaving a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter.At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them!This thing could kill me! Why does his life haveless value than yours? Why does his life have any less valuethan mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. Youdon't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him.It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone outis also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there.- Bye. - Supposed to be less calories.- Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life.I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law.You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it?"You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking.- Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine.I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure thisis very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me.I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposedto be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you.It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee.- Yeah. I'm talking to a bee.And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful.I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that?- What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess."Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny.- Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something?- Like what? I don't know. I mean...I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee.- I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous!- Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't.- Have some. - No, I can't.- Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where?- These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you knowanything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cabas they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church.The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon?I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive,but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do?- Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer ora doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really?- My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just electedwith that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area.I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes?- Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee.- Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am?- Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great.Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks!- Yeah. All right. Well, then...I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank youso much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go.We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing.- It was amazing! It was the scariest,happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believeyou were with humans! Giant, scary humans!What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things.They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV?- Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back?- Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You sawwhatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now youcan pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well...- Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!- No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider?- I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing,with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law.You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa.- Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talkingto humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s!One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life!And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb.- It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat.That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is?- No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot!- Listen to me! We are not them! We're us.There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can denythe heart that is yearning? There's no yearning.Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee,my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee.- Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days!Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisionsto think about. What life? You have no life!You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill youto make a little honey? Barry, come out.Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here.- I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me?- Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going?- I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge paradeof flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses,that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surroundedby flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the rosescompete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one.How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't yourun everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see.All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease.It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting.It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully.You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out.Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?!- It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody.Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages.Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got thatdown to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.- I'll bet. What in the nameof Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here?Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor?- I never heard of him. - Why is this here?- For people. We eat it. You don't haveenough food of your own? - Well, yes.- How do you get it? - Bees make it.- I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring.You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic.- It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this!This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools,hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?!I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottomof all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done?- Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out,with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something.So you can talk! I can talk.And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff?Who's your supplier? I don't understand.I thought we were friends. The last thing we wantto do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossedthe wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunchfor my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knewwhat hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anythingthat moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms.I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you?- He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?!- Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade!- Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything haveto be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes!Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington,I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee!- Moose blood guy!! - You hear something?- Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars,as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goesis where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight.- We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own.Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble?- You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack.See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world.You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up,get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leavethe building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys!- Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here.Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brainthe size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker.- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of thisknocks them right out. They make the honey,and we make the money. "They make the honey,and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you'rein a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here.We had no choice. This is your queen?That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolenon a massive scale! This is worse than anything bearshave done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are takingour honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory.These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What?- Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend.And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could.- Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you wantto do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives.Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember youcoming home so overworked your hands were still stirring.You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put itin lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt.- No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can stingthe humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's onlyfull-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.- And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human racefor stealing our honey, packaging it and profitingfrom it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here inour studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies,out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kidfrom the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraidto change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus?Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinkingof stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee communityis supporting you in this case, which will be the trialof the bee century. You know, they have a Larry Kingin the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a showand suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from theguest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week!They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attackat the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke!I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please.Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee?- Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello.- Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, sizeten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing.You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam herehas been a huge help. - Frosting...- How many sugars? Just one. I try notto use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, peopleare giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic!- Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worsethan a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make upfor it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.- I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done withthe humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home,"without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scenehere in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits,because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselvesif a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humansdon't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinationalfood companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to staybehind the barricade. - What's the matter?- I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The HonorableJudge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York,Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representingthe five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representingall the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery,your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believedit was man's divine right to benefit from the bountyof nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy worldMr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiatewith the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-captureHollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism!Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen,there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee.Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees.We invented it! We make it. And we protect itwith our lives. Unfortunately, there aresome people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys!I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey,you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like thatall the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhaydenof Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also ownHoneyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepersfor our farms. Beekeeper. I find thatto be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employany bee-free-ers, do you? - No.- I couldn't hear you. - No.- No. Because you don't free bees.You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would bean appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashingthrough your living room?! Biting into your couch!Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before?- I was with a band called The Police. But you've never beena police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so herewe have yet another example of bee culture casuallystolen by a human for nothing more thana prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feelinga little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first,belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spoton ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resumethat you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoilthat's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is thiswhat it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless beesso you don't have to rehearseyour part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson!I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella.This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step onthis creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court!- You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it!- Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully niceof that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken!- Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late.I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste,so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left.I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself.The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit.Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating withchopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to findthe rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment,but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just whatI was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razorfor his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that?- Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why isyour life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing.- Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey!I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to bethe nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?!Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things buggingme in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from ridingon this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificialsweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's gotan aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kindof barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it.Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomeryis about out of ideas. We would like to callMr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he'sconsidered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you'vegotta weave some magic with this jury,or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I haveto do to turn this jury around is to remind themof what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers?- Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask youwhat I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends?- Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two.From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birthto all the bee children? - Yeah, but...- So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry...- Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee,aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection!- I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venomis coursing through my veins! I have been felledby a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat themlike equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thingthey know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me.- I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercywill come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybeesversus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legalteam stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy.- Hey. - Is there much pain?- Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters isyou're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteriadownstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there'sa little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then...and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry.I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We'rejust a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to usif they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels.That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in,but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurseto close that window? - Why?- The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke!But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall.Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result,we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor,haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enoughof this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allowthese absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compellingevidence to support their charges against my clients,who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissalof this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to considerMr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof?Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor!You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this?This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly,let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked,"Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addictedto smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slavesto the white man? - What are we gonna do?- He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please,free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honeywill finally belong to the bees. Now we won't haveto work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversionof the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren,and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right?- What do you mean? We've been living the bee waya long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory.What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdownof all bee work camps. Then we want back the honeythat was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorificationof the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly,bad-breath stink machine. We're all awareof what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseousfor a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer toleratebee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honeyin bogus health products and la-dee-da humantea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down!- Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail.Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believehow much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating?- They're home. They don't know what to do.Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his wayto San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humansliked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world!I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was mynew job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understandwhy they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing.Honey really changes people. You don't have any ideawhat's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me?- This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to makehoney would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers.Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affectsthe entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here,couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me.- Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry...sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving?Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses paradein Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekendbecause all the flowers are dying. It's the last chanceI'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses.Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers!- Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know.That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not.Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake.This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet.I wanted to help you with the flower shop.I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it'sgreater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses,the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plantand flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've gotback here with what we've got. - Bees.- Park. - Pollen!- Flowers. - Repollination!- Across the nation! Tournament of Roses,Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothingbut flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside,we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess,and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit?- What are you? - I believe I'm the pea.- The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.- I'm getting the marshal. You do that!This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we dois blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport,there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float?- Yes. Has it beenin your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger.- It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun.Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll havejust enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? Wehave just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers,this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weatherin New York. It looks like we'll experiencea couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowerswith no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up thereand talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get helpwith the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talkinginflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal?- Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!- Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers.This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24Bplease report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster,a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat,they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke?- No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome.I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious,and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboardhave flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that?- Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing morethan a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?- Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry!We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have somelate-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful sceneis developing. Barry Benson,fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane,loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the areaand two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute.There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Bensonand his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a beeshouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wingsand body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air!- Got it. - Stand by.- We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of beesdoing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well,it makes a big difference. More than we realized.To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get beesback to working together. That's the bee way!We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow!- Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover?- Forget hover. This isn't so hard.Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we wereon autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me.- And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's getbehind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do,you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling!We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentratewith that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together.You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it! - Hold it!- Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowersfor a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow.- Hello. All right, let's drop this tin canon the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee.- Thinking bee. Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute.I think I'm feeling something. - What?- I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac?- Get some lights on that! Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower.- OK. Out the engines. We're going inon bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one!- Which one? - That flower.- I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry!- This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this planeflying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it!You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five!- Right. Barry, it worked!Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of courseI saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you.- But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is coveredwith the last pollen from the last flowersavailable anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey,pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species,this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjustMuseum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfectfit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needsto make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll beworking late tonight! Here's your change. Have a greatafternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that?It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feellike a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry.Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me?My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite.All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie.Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry.Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks!It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?!- Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly.- Sure is. Between you and me,I was dying to get out of that office. You have gotto start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee!- Me? Hold it. Let's just stopfor a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decisionduring a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody.Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.Special thanks to SergeiK.1 commentAnonymous 11m WHY Add comment The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, startAdd comment The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, startAdd comment Add comment The RIGHT TO QUOTE SHREK2 commentsAnonymous 17m DONKEY!!!!!!! Anonymous 17m THIS IS MY SWAMP Add comment Get Dunked By Sans2 commentsAnonymous 17m STOP Anonymous 12m nope Add comment The right to have ALL YOU CAN EAT AT LUNCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 commentAnonymous 18m yes Add comment Right to sing All StarSomebody once told me the world is gonna roll meI ain't the sharpest tool in the shedShe was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumbIn the shape of an "L" on her foreheadWell, the years start coming and they don't stop comingFed to the rules and I hit the ground runningDidn't make sense not to live for funYour brain gets smart but your head gets dumbSo much to do, so much to seeSo what's wrong with taking the back streets?You'll never know if you don't goYou'll never shine if you don't glow[Chorus:]Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go playHey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paidAnd all that glitters is goldOnly shooting stars break the moldIt's a cool place and they say it gets colderYou're bundled up now wait 'til you get olderBut the meteor men beg to differJudging by the hole in the satellite pictureThe ice we skate is getting pretty thinThe water's getting warm so you might as well swimMy world's on fire. How about yours?That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.[Chorus 2x]Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gasI need to get myself away from this placeI said yep, what a conceptI could use a little fuel myselfAnd we could all use a little changeWell, the years start coming and they don't stop comingFed to the rules and I hit the ground runningDidn't make sense not to live for funYour brain gets smart but your head gets dumbSo much to do so much to seeSo what's wrong with taking the back streetsYou'll never know if you don't goYou'll never shine if you don't glow.[Chorus]And all that glitters is goldOnly shooting stars break the moldAdd comment TACO TACO TACO TACO TACO TACO TACO TACO TACO TACCO TACO RACOAdd comment 1 commentAnonymous 19m The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start Add comment We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.Article I (Article 1 - Legislative)Section 1All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.Section 21: The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several States, and the Electors in each State shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the State Legislature.2: No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.3: Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons.2 The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct. The Number of Representatives shall not exceed onefor every thirty Thousand, but each State shall have at Least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the State of New Hampshire shall be entitled to chuse three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode-Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New-York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolinafive, South Carolina five, and Georgia three.4: When vacancies happen in the Representation from any State, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.5: The House of Representatives shall chuse their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.Section 31: The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, chosen by the Legislature thereof,3 for six Years; and each Senator shall have one Vote.2: Immediately after they shall be assembled in Consequence of the first Election, they shall be divided as equally as may be into three Classes. The Seats of the Senators of the first Class shall be vacated at the Expiration of the second Year, of thesecond Class at the Expiration of the fourth Year, and of the third Class at the Expiration of the sixth Year, so that one third may be chosen every second Year; and if Vacancies happen by Resignation, or otherwise, during the Recess of the Legislature of any State, the Executive thereof may make temporary Appointments until the next Meeting of the Legislature, which shall then fill such Vacancies.43: No Person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years, and been nine Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State for which he shall be chosen.4: The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided.5: The Senate shall chuse their other Officers, and also a President pro tempore, in the Absence of the Vice President, or when he shall exercise the Office of President of the United States.6: The Senate shall have the sole Power to try all Impeachments. When sitting for that Purpose, they shall be on Oath or Affirmation. When the President of the United States is tried, the Chief Justice shall preside: And no Person shall be convicted without the Concurrence of two thirds of the Members present.7: Judgment in Cases of impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from Office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any Office of honor, Trust or Profit under the United States: but the Party convicted shall nevertheless be liable and subject to Indictment, Trial, Judgment and Punishment, according to Law.Section 41: The Times, Places and Manner of holding Elections for Senators and Representatives, shall be prescribed in each State by the Legislature thereof; but the Congress may at any time by Law make or alter such Regulations, except as to the Places of chusing Senators.2: The Congress shall assemble at least once in every Year, and such Meeting shall be on the first Monday in December,5 unless they shall by Law appoint a different Day.Section 51: Each House shall be the Judge of the Elections, Returns and Qualifications of its own Members, and a Majority of each shall constitute a Quorum to do Business; but a smaller Number may adjourn from day to day, and may be authorized to compel the Attendance of absent Members, in such Manner, and under such Penalties as each House may provide.2: Each House may determine the Rules of its Proceedings, punish its Members for disorderly Behaviour, and, with theConcurrence of two thirds, expel a Member.3: Each House shall keep a Journal of its Proceedings, and from time to time publish the same, excepting such Parts as may in their Judgment require Secrecy; and the Yeas and Nays of the Members of either House on any question shall, at the Desire ofone fifth of those Present, be entered on the Journal.4: Neither House, during the Session of Congress, shall, without the Consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other Place than that in which the two Houses shall be sitting.Section 61: The Senators and Representatives shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States.6 They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, be privileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place.2: No Senator or Representative shall, during the Time for which he was elected, be appointed to any civil Office under the Authority of the United States, which shall have been created, or the Emoluments whereof shall have been encreased during such time; and no Person holding any Office under the United States, shall be a Member of either House during his Continuance in Office.Section 71: All Bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives; but the Senate may propose or concur with Amendments as on other Bills.2: Every Bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate, shall, before it become a Law, be presented to the President of the United States; If he approve he shall sign it, but if not he shall return it, with his Objections to that House in which it shall have originated, who shall enter the Objections at large on their Journal, and proceed to reconsider it. If after such Reconsideration two thirds of that House shall agree to pass the Bill, it shall be sent, together with the Objections, to the other House, by which it shall likewise be reconsidered, and if approved by two thirds of that House, it shall become a Law. But in all such Cases the Votes of both Houses shall be determined by yeas and Nays, and the Names of the Persons voting for and against the Bill shall be entered on the Journal of each House respectively. If any Bill shall not be returned by the President within ten Days (Sundays excepted) after it shall have been presented to him, the Same shall be a Law, in like Manner as if he had signed it, unless the Congress by their Adjournment prevent its Return, in which Case it shall not be a Law.3: Every Order, Resolution, or Vote to which the Concurrence of the Senate and House of Representatives may be necessary (except on a question of Adjournment) shall be presented to the President of the United States; and before the Same shall take Effect, shall be approved by him, or being disapproved by him, shall be repassed by two thirds of the Senate and House of Representatives, according to the Rules and Limitations prescribed in the Case of a Bill.Section 81: The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States;2: To borrow Money on the credit of the United States;3: To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes;4: To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization, and uniform Laws on the subject of Bankruptcies throughout the United States;5: To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures;6: To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the United States;7: To establish Post Offices and post Roads;8: To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries;9: To constitute Tribunals inferior to the supreme Court;10: To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offences against the Law of Nations;11: To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water;12: To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than two Years;13: To provide and maintain a Navy;14: To make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the land and naval Forces;15: To provide for calling forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Union, suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions;16: To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the Militia, and for governing such Part of them as may be employed in the Service of the United States, reserving to the States respectively, the Appointment of the Officers, and the Authority of training the Militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress;17: To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten Miles square) as may, by Cession of particular States, and the Acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of the Government of the United States, and to exercise like Authority over all Places purchased by the Consent of the Legislature of the State in which the Same shall be, for the Erection of Forts, Magazines, Arsenals, dock-Yards, and other needful Buildings;—And18: To make all Laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or Officer thereof.Section 91: The Migration or Importation of such Persons as any of the States now existing shall think proper to admit, shall not be prohibited by the Congress prior to the Year one thousand eight hundred and eight, but a Tax or duty may be imposed on such Importation, not exceeding ten dollars for each Person.2: The Privilege of the Writ of Habeas Corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it.3: No Bill of Attainder or ex post facto Law shall be passed.4: No Capitation, or other direct, Tax shall be laid, unless in Proportion to the Census or Enumeration herein before directed to be taken.75: No Tax or Duty shall be laid on Articles exported from any State.6: No Preference shall be given by any Regulation of Commerce or Revenue to the Ports of one State over those of another: nor shall Vessels bound to, or from, one State, be obliged to enter, clear, or pay Duties in another.7: No Money shall be drawn from the Treasury, but in Consequence of Appropriations made by Law; and a regular Statement and Account of the Receipts and Expenditures of all public Money shall be published from time to time.8: No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State.Section 101: No State shall enter into any Treaty, Alliance, or Confederation; grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal; coin Money; emit Bills of Credit; make any Thing but gold and silver Coin a Tender in Payment of Debts; pass any Bill of Attainder, ex post facto Law, or Law impairing the Obligation of Contracts, or grant any Title of Nobility.2: No State shall, without the Consent of the Congress, lay any Imposts or Duties on Imports or Exports, except what may be absolutely necessary for executing it's inspection Laws: and the net Produce of all Duties and Imposts, laid by any State on Imports or Exports, shall be for the Use of the Treasury of the United States; and all such Laws shall be subject to the Revision and Controul of the Congress.3: No State shall, without the Consent of Congress, lay any Duty of Tonnage, keep Troops, or Ships of War in time of Peace, enter into any Agreement or Compact with another State, or with a foreign Power, or engage in War, unless actually invaded, or in such imminent Danger as will not admit of delay.Article II (Article 2 - Executive)Section 11: The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America. He shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years, and, together with the Vice President, chosen for the same Term, be elected, as follows2: Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors, equal to the whole Number of Senators and Representatives to which the State may be entitled in the Congress: but no Senator or Representative, or Person holding an Office of Trust or Profit under the United States, shall be appointed an Elector.3: The Electors shall meet in their respective States, and vote by Ballot for two Persons, of whom one at least shall not be an Inhabitant of the same State with themselves. And they shall make a List of all the Persons voted for, and of the Number of Votes for each; which List they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the Seat of the Government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate. The President of the Senate shall, in the Presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the Certificates, and the Votes shall then be counted. The Person having the greatest Number of Votes shall be the President, if such Number be a Majority of the whole Number of Electors appointed; and if there be more than one who have such Majority, and have an equal Number of Votes, then the House of Representatives shall immediately chuse by Ballot one of them for President; and if no Person have a Majority, then from the five highest on the List the said House shall in like Manner chuse the President. But in chusing the President, the Votes shall be taken by States, the Representation from each State having one Vote; A quorum for this Purpose shall consist of a Member or Members from two thirds of the States, and a Majority of all the States shall be necessary to a Choice. In every Case, after the Choice of the President, the Person having the greatest Number of Votes of the Electors shall be the Vice President. But if there should remain two or more who have equal Votes, the Senate shall chuse from them by Ballot the Vice President.84: The Congress may determine the Time of chusing the Electors, and the Day on which they shall give their Votes; which Day shall be the same throughout the United States.5: No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.6: In Case of the Removal of the President from Office, or of his Death, Resignation, or Inability to discharge the Powers andDuties of the said Office,9 the Same shall devolve on the VicePresident, and the Congress may by Law provide for the Case of Removal, Death, Resignation or Inability, both of the President and Vice President, declaring what Officer shall then act as President, and such Officer shall act accordingly, until the Disability be removed, or a President shall be elected.7: The President shall, at stated Times, receive for his Services, a Compensation, which shall neither be encreased nor diminished during the Period for which he shall have been elected, and he shall not receive within that Period any otherEmolument from the United States, or any of them.8: Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:—“I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”Section 21: The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States, when called into the actual Service of the United States; he may require the Opinion, in writing, of the principal Officer in each of the executive Departments, upon any Subject relating to the Duties of their respective Offices, and he shall have Power to grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offences against the United States, except in Cases of Impeachment.2: He shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.3: The President shall have Power to fill up all Vacancies that may happen during the Recess of the Senate, by granting Commissions which shall expire at the End of their next Session.Section 3He shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient; he may, on extraordinary Occasions, convene both Houses, or either of them, and in Case of Disagreement between them, with Respect to the Time of Adjournment, he may adjourn them to such Time as he shall think proper; he shall receive Ambassadors and other public Ministers; he shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed, and shall Commission all the Officers of the United States.Section 4The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.Article III (Article 3 - Judicial)Section 1The judicial Power of the United States, shall be vested in one supreme Court, and in such inferior Courts as the Congress may from time to time ordain and establish. The Judges, both of the supreme and inferior Courts, shall hold their Offices during good Behaviour, and shall, at stated Times, receive for their Services, a Compensation, which shall not be diminished during their Continuance in Office.Section 21: The judicial Power shall extend to all Cases, in Law and Equity, arising under this Constitution, the Laws of the United States, and Treaties made, or which shall be made, under their Authority;—to all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls;—to all Cases of admiralty and maritime Jurisdiction;—to Controversies to which the United States shall be a Party;—to Controversies between two or more States;—between a State and Citizens of another State;10 —between Citizens of different States, —between Citizens of the same State claiming Lands under Grants of different States, and between a State, or the Citizens thereof, and foreign States, Citizens or Subjects.2: In all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, and those in which a State shall be Party, the supreme Court shall have original Jurisdiction. In all the other Cases before mentioned, the supreme Court shall have appellateJurisdiction, both as to Law and Fact, with such Exceptions, and under such Regulations as the Congress shall make.3: The Trial of all Crimes, except in Cases of Impeachment, shall be by Jury; and such Trial shall be held in the State where the said Crimes shall have been committed; but when not committed within any State, the Trial shall be at such Place or Places as the Congress may by Law have directed.Section 31: Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.2: The Congress shall have Power to declare the Punishment of Treason, but no Attainder of Treason shall work Corruption of Blood, or Forfeiture except during the Life of the Person attainted.Article IV (Article 4 - States' Relations)Section 1Full Faith and Credit shall be given in each State to the public Acts, Records, and judicial Proceedings of every other State. And the Congress may by general Laws prescribe the Manner in which such Acts, Records and Proceedings shall be proved, and the Effect thereof.Section 21: The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.2: A Person charged in any State with Treason, Felony, or other Crime, who shall flee from Justice, and be found in another State, shall on Demand of the executive Authority of the State from which he fled, be delivered up, to be removed to the State having Jurisdiction of the Crime.3: No Person held to Service or Labour in one State, under the Laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in Consequence of any Law or Regulation therein, be discharged from such Service or Labour, but shall be delivered up on Claim of the Party to whom such Service or Labour may be due.11Section 31: New States may be admitted by the Congress into this Union; but no new State shall be formed or erected within the Jurisdiction of any other State; nor any State be formed by the Junction of two or more States, or Parts of States, without the Consent of the Legislatures of the States concerned as well as of the Congress.2: The Congress shall have Power to dispose of and make all needful Rules and Regulations respecting the Territory or other Property belonging to the United States; and nothing in this Constitution shall be so construed as to Prejudice any Claims of the United States, or of any particular State.Section 4The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened) against domestic Violence.Article V (Article 5 - Mode of Amendment)The Congress, whenever two thirds of both Houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose Amendments to this Constitution, or, on the Application of the Legislatures of two thirds of the several States, shall call a Convention for proposing Amendments, which, in either Case, shall be valid to all Intents and Purposes, as Part of this Constitution, when ratified by the Legislatures ofthree fourths of the several States, or by Conventions in three fourths thereof, as the one or the other Mode of Ratification may be proposed by the Congress; Provided that no Amendment which may be made prior to the Year One thousand eight hundred and eight shall in any Manner affect the first and fourth Clauses in the Ninth Section of the first Article; and that no State, without its Consent, shall be deprived of its equal Suffrage in the Senate.Article VI (Article 6 - Prior Debts, National Supremacy, Oaths of Office)1: All Debts contracted and Engagements entered into, before the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be as valid against the United States under this Constitution, as under the Confederation.2: This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.3: The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.Article VII (Article 7 - Ratification)The Ratification of the Conventions of nine States, shall be sufficient for the Establishment of this Constitution between the States so ratifying the Same.The Word "the", being interlined between the seventh and eight Lines of the first Page, The Word "Thirty" being partly written on an Erazure in the fifteenth Line of the first Page. The Words "is tried" being interlined between the thirty second and thirty third Lines of the first Page and the Word "the" being interlined between the forty third and forty fourth Lines of the second Page. | done in Convention by the Unanimous Consent of the States present the Seventeenth Day of September in the Year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and Eighty seven and of the Independence of the United States of America the Twelfth In witness whereof We have hereunto subscribed our Names,Add comment the right not to go to this class5 commentsAnonymous 18m YES!!!!!!!!!! Anonymous 18m we should all just fall out of our chairs at the same time Anonymous 18m do it now Anonymous 18m all just leave now. get up and wake out Anonymous 17m "get up and wake out" Add comment the right to a bad sense of humor Add comment NO ONE MAN SHOULD HAVE ALL THAT POWER1 commentAnonymous 17m I miss the old Kanye, straight from the Go Kanye Chop up the soul Kanye, set on his goals Kanye I hate the new Kanye, the bad mood Kanye The always rude Kanye, spaz in the news Kanye I miss the sweet Kanye, chop up the beats Kanye I gotta say, at that time I'd like to meet Kanye See, I invented Kanye, it wasn't any Kanyes And now I look and look around and there's so many Kanyes I used to love Kanye, I used to love Kanye I even had the pink polo, I thought I was Kanye What if Kanye made a song about Kanye Called "I Miss The Old Kanye"? Man, that'd be so Kanye That's all it was Kanye, we still love Kanye And I love you like Kanye loves Kanye Add comment freedom to write nonsenseAdd comment the right to education1 commentAnonymous 19m Nowwwww this is the story all about how Add comment The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, startAdd comment Right to rap along to Fresh PrinceNow this is a story all about howMy life got flipped-turned upside downAnd I'd like to take a minuteJust sit right thereI'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-AirIn west Philadelphia born and raisedOn the playground was where I spent most of my daysChillin' out maxin' relaxin' all coolAnd all shooting some b-ball outside of the schoolWhen a couple of guys who were up to no goodStarted making trouble in my neighborhoodI got in one little fight and my mom got scaredShe said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."I begged and pleaded with her day after dayBut she packed my suitcase and sent me on my wayShe gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.I put my Walkman on and said, "I might as well kick it."First class, yo, this is badDrinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like?Hmm, this might be alright.But wait I hear they're prissy, bourgeois, all thatIs this the type of place that they just send this cool cat?I don't think soI'll see when I get thereI hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-AirWell, the plane landed and when I came outThere was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name outI ain't trying to get arrested yetI just got hereI sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappearedI whistled for a cab and when it came nearThe license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mirrorIf anything I could say that this cab was rareBut I thought, "Nah, forget it."– "Yo, home to Bel-Air."I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8And I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo home smell ya later."I looked at my kingdomI was finally thereTo sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air1 commentAnonymous 19m The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start Add comment firstAdd comment The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.\Add comment War and Peace As the 19th century began, a darkening shadow moved across Europe. This shadow was propelled by the voice of one man, Napoleon Bonaparte. Only Russia and England offered impressive resistance. Over Russia, the weather was clear, the sun was shining. Napoleon was 1,000 miles away, and the streets of Moscow were excellent for parades. Splendid sights, splendid men, eh, Pierre? - For parades. - What do you mean by that? Remember, I've seen the French marching, too. Don't tell me they march better than that. - Led by the greatest man in Europe. - Bonaparte? Bonaparte. A usurper! A murderer! A deposer of kings! A colossus! A fresh wind! A cleansing force! What does your father say when he hears you? We don't talk about things like that, my father and I. - How is he? - The doctors say he'll die any moment. - Have you been to see him? - I'm waiting to be asked. In heaven, all things will be arranged. I believe that's the rumour. This is your home when you want it to be, and the Rostovs are your family when you want them to be. I smoke too much. Isn't it lovely? How can you bear not to go with them? I can bear it. If I were a man, I'd be down there, riding a terrible black horse, waving a sword. It's so unfair. Men are the only people permitted to have any fun. What is it, Natasha? Those handsome young men marching away to fight. They could be killed. Don't be frightened. Come on. Nicholas! Now, what's this? You look so dazzling in your uniform. And you're going so far away. Austria's miles, I looked it up on the map. That brute, Napoleon. The Austrians make beautiful bracelets. I'll bring you one. - Two! They're wearing them in pairs! - Two. Pierre, you remember our cousin, Sonya. She's come to stay. Yes, though she was considerably younger the last time I saw her. Girls grow up, Pierre. Very fast. Doesn't he look glorious? Mama and Papa have such handsome children! Did you hear that? Now, attention!{ } Ensign Count Nicholas Rostov, I decorate you with the Order of... ...Absolutely Everything! Don't laugh when she jokes about the army. Well, Petya, you have to humour women a little! You do look shiny, Nicholas. If only I was old enough. That'll come. By that time, there won't be a Frenchman left to be killed! Don't worry, there'll always be plenty of Frenchmen. - Good luck. - That's very civil of you. - But why not take a commission? - It's so easy for you men. You decide to do something, then do it. If you were a man, what would you do? I'd become enormously powerful. I'd become the Czar's most trusted minister, and he'd consult me. And you would sit at my right hand. Whenever anything was complicated, the case would be laid before you as judge. Why me? Because your heart is pure and you're good. Well done, my dear. On that note, I think I should leave. If you had that power, what would you do? I? I would hesitate. Now I must go. - Pierre, come again soon. - I'll walk you to the door. - "Au revoir." - Come soon again. Come again soon. Mama and Papa will be awfully lonely with Nicholas gone. - They do love seeing you. - Of course. I love the whole family. The whole family? That's not as simple as you think. What do you mean? There are currents and counter-currents. Au revoir. Now, where are you going? Dolokhov's rooms? I am. How did you know? I hear things, I hear things. Go. Go to your night of disgusting, fascinating debauchery. Au revoir. Bravo! Bravo! - Careful, there's a bet on here. - Fetch me a bottle of rum! You two, break this out. Now, let's get this straight. Fifty imperials against Prince Anatole that I drink a bottle of rum without taking it from my mouth, balancing on the outside ledge without touching the sides of the window. - Want to make it a hundred? - Fifty is enough for you to lose. Get down from there, you weaklings. - Hercules, come on! - Come on! You do it! Hail Moscow! Give me that! Don't be crazy, you'll be killed. Touch me again, I'll throw you down there. That goes for every one of you. Play! Play! What are we paying you for? Now then, my friends. Remember, without taking the bottle from your lips. Bravo! Fifty imperials, Anatole! And double for anyone else who will do it. I'll do it for nothing, without a bet! - You get dizzy walking up steps! - Out of my way! Give me a bottle! Get down from there. - Get down from

2017-01-13 17:38:53 UTC

You wanna kill each other?

Kill each other.

But you ain't gonna do it

on my beat.

- Are there any questions?

- Yes, sir.

Would you mind

translating that into Spanish?

Get your friends

out of here, Bernardo...

and stay out.

Please.

Okay, Sharks.

Boy, oh, boy, as if this neighborhood

wasn't crummy enough.

Now, look, fellas.

Fellas?

Look, let's be reasonable.

lf l don't get a little

law and order around here...

l get busted down

to a traffic corner...

and your friend

don't like traffic corners.

So that means you're gonna start

makin' nice with the P.R.s from now on.

l said nice, get it?

'Cause if you don't...

and l catch any of you doin'

any more brawlin' in my territory...

l'm gonna personally beat the living

crud out of every one of you...

and see that you go to the can

and rot there.

Say good-bye

to the nice boys, Krupke.

Good-bye, boys.

Jail? Gee.

- You hoodlums don't own the streets.

- Go play in the park.

- Keep off of the grass.

- Get out of the house.

- Keep off the block.

- Keep off the world.

A gang that don't own the street

is nothin'.

- That's it.

- We do own it!

Jets, round out.

Not you, Anybodys.

Beat it.

Riff, you gotta

let me in the gang.

Didn't you just see me?

l was smash.

l'm a killer.

l wanna fight.

How else is she gonna

get a guy to touch her?

- You dirty rat!

- The road, little girl, the road.

Beat it.

Okay, come on.

Now listen.

We fought hard for this turf,

and we ain't just gonna give it up.

The Emeralds claimed it,

and we shut 'em out.

The Hawks tried to take it away,

and we knocked 'em down the cellar.

- Yeah, but these P.R.s are different.

- They multiply.

- They keep comin'.

- Like cockroaches.

- They're eatin' all the food.

- They're breathin' all the air.

Help! l'm drowning in tamale.

You heard what

Lieutenant Schrank said.

We gotta make nice

with them Puerto Ricans, or else.

Are we gonna let 'em move in

and take it all away from us, or else?

You're damn right no.

What are we gonna do,

huh, buddy boys?

l'll tell you what we're gonna do.

We're gonna speed fast.

We're gonna move like lightnin'...

and we're gonna clean

them Sharks up once and for all...

so they ain't never gonna set foot

on our turf again.

And we're gonna do it

in one all-out fight.

- A rumble!

- Now, cool, Action boy.

The Sharks want a piece

of this world too.

They're real down boys.

They might ask for blades,

zip guns.

Zip guns? Well, gee.

l ain't finalizin' and sayin'

they will, Baby John.

l'm just sayin' that they might.

And we gotta be prepared.

Now, what's your mood, Jets?

l say go, go!

- l say mix.

- l say sock 'em.

- Tear 'em.

- Yeah.

- But if they say blades or guns?

- l say let's forget the whole thing.

- What?

- What do you say, Riff?

l say this turf is small...

but it's all we got, huh?

l want to hold it like

we always held it-- with skin.

But if they say blades,

l say blades.

lf they say guns,

l say guns.

l say l want the Jets

to be the number one...

to sail, to hold the sky!

Then rev us off!

Okay, cats, we rumble.

Protocality calls for a war council

between us and the Sharks...

to set the whole thing up.

l will personally give

the bad news to Bernardo.

- You gotta take a lieutenant with you.

- That's me.

- That's Tony.

- Who needs Tony?

We need Tony. He's got a rep

that's bigger than the whole west side.

- He don't belong no more.

- Now, cut it, Action.

- Me and Tony started the Jets.

- So where is he?

How come he takes

a lousy, stinkin' job?

- Youth board corrupted him.

- Yeah, temporary sickness.

-Wait and see.

-Man, the day we clobbered the Emeralds.

- He saved my ever-lovin' neck.

- Sure, he'll do it again too.

He always came through for us,

and he always will.

When you're a Jet

you're a Jet all the way

From your first cigarette

to your last dying day

When you're a Jet

let them do what they can

You've got brothers around

You're a family man

You're never alone

You're never disconnected

You're home with your own

When company's expected

You're well protected

Then you are set

with a capital "J"

Which you'll never forget

till they cart you away

When you're a Jet

you stay

A Jet

l know Tony like l know me.

- l guarantee you can count him in.

- ln, out. Let's get crackin'.

- Where you gonna find Bernardo?

- lt ain't safe to go in P.R. territory.

- He'll be at the dance at the gym.

- But the gym's neutral territory.

A-rab, l'm gonna make nice with 'em.

l'm only gonna challenge 'em.

- Great, Daddy-O.

- So listen.

Everybody dress up sweet and sharp.

Meet Tony and me at the dance at : .

- And walk tall.

- We always walk tall.

- We're Jets.

- The greatest.

When you're a Jet

you're the top cat in town

You're the gold-medal kid

with the heavyweight crown

When you're a Jet

you're the swingingest thing

Little boy, you're a man

Little man, you're a king

The Jets are in gear

Our cylinders are clickin'

The Sharks'll steer clear

'Cause every Puerto Rican's

a lousy chicken

Here come the Jets

like a bat out of hell

Someone gets in our way

someone don't feel so well

Here come the Jets

Little world, step aside

Better go underground

Better run, better hide

We're drawin' the line

so keep your noses hidden

We're hangin' a sign

says "Visitors Forbidden"

And we ain't kiddin'

Here come the Jets, yeah

and we're gonna beat

Every last buggin' gang

on the whole buggin' street

On the whole buggin'

Ever-lovin' street

Yeah!

- Tony, you're not even listenin'.

- l read you loud and clear, Riff.

Then why don't you say somethin'?

l don't want to hurt your feelings.

You're my buddy, my pal, my best friend.

Womb to tomb?

Birth to earth.

That's why you gotta come to the dance

tonight and stand up with me.

Come on, Tony, just say yes.

Did you ever stop to figure how many

bubbles there are in one bottle of soda?

Tony, this is important.

Everything's important, Riff.

You, me,

the sweet guy l work for.

The Sharks walk bad.

They bite hard.

lf we don't stop 'em now,

we're gonna never--

- Work for a living.

- How do you like that, huh?

Four-and-a-half years l live

with a buddy and his family.

l think l'm diggin'

a guy's character.

Boy, am l a victim

of disappointment in you.

End your sufferin', little man.

Why don't you just pack up your gear

and move out?

'Cause your ma's hot for me.

lt's 'cause l hate livin'

with my buggin' uncle.

- Come on!

- Uncle! Uncle!

Go play games with the Jets.

Why not?

They're the greatest.

Ain't they?

Were.

You found somethin' better?

Not yet, but--

But what?

You won't dig it, Riff.

So try me.

Come on, Tony. Try me.

Okay.

Every single night

for the last month...

l wake up,

and l'm reachin' out.

Well, for what?

l don't know.

A dame?

lt's right outside the door,

just around the corner...

but it's comin'.

What is?

l don't know.

lt's like the kick l used to get

from bein' a Jet.

Well, now you're talkin'.

Man, without a gang,

you're an orphan.

With a gang, you walk

in twos, threes, fours.

When your crew is the best,

when you're a Jet...

you're out in the sun, buddy boy,

you're home, free home.

Riff, l've had it.

Tony, look at me, will ya?

Come on, look at me.

l'm lookin' at you.

l never asked the time of day

from a clock, did l?

l never asked nothin' from nobody.

But l'm askin' you,

come to the dance tonight.

l promised Doc l'd clean up

the store tonight.

Then do it after the dance.

Tony, l already told the guys

you'd be there.

lf you don't show,

l'll be marked lousy.

- What time did you tell 'em?

- : .

For me, Tony. For Riff.

- : it is.

- Womb to tomb?

Birth to earth,

and l'll live to regret this.

Who knows? Maybe what you're waitin' for

will be twitchin' at the dance tonight.

Who knows?

Could be

Who knows

There's something due any day

l will know right away

Soon as it shows

lt may come cannonballin' down

through the sky, gleam in its eye

Bright as a rose

Who knows

lt's only just out of reach

Down the block, on a beach

Under a tree

l got a feelin' there's a miracle due

gonna come true

Comin' to me

Could it be

Yes, it could

Something's comin'

something good

lf l can wait

Something's comin'

l don't know what it is

But it is gonna be great

With a click

with a shock

Phone will jingle

door will knock

Open the latch

Something's comin'

Don't know when, but it's soon

Catch the moon

One-handed catch

Around the corner

Or whistlin' down the river

Come on, deliver

To me

Will it be

Yes, it will

Maybe just by holdin' still

lt'll be there

Come on, somethin'

Come on in, don't be shy

Meet a guy

Pull up a chair

The air is hummin'

And somethin' great

ls comin'

lt's only just out of reach

Down the block, on a beach

Maybe tonight

Por favor, Anita.

You are my friend.

- Stop it, Maria.

- You must make the neck lower.

You must stop heckling me. We are

working on our time, not the old lady's.

One inch. How much

can one little inch do?

Too much.

Anita, it is now to be a dress

for dancing, no longer for praying.

Listen, with those boys, you can

start out dancing and end up praying.

One little inch.

Bernardo made me promise.

One month have l been in this country.

Do l ever even touch excitement?

l sew in this place all day.

l sit at home all night.

For what did my brother

bring me here?

To marry Chino.

When l look at Chino,

nothing happens.

What do you expect to happen?

l don't know. Something.

What happens when you

look at Bernardo?

lt's when l don't look

that it happens.

l think l will tell

Mama and Papa...

about you and Nardo

in the balcony of the movies.

- l will rip this to shreds!

- No.

But if you could perhaps manage

to lower the neck.

Next year.

- l hate that dress!

- Then don't wear it.

Don't come to the dance

with us tonight.

Don't come?

- Could we not dye it red, at least?

- No, we could not.

White is for babies.

l will be the only one there

in a white--

lt is a beautiful dress.

l love you!

- Are you ready, ladies?

- Nardo, come in.

ls it not beautiful?

Yes. Very.

l didn't quite hear.

Very beautiful.

Come in, Chino.

Do not be afraid.

But this is a shop for ladies.

We won't bite you

till we know you better.

You will keep both eyes on Maria

tonight in case l cannot.

- You too, Anita.

- My brother is a silly watchdog.

My sister is a precious jewel.

What am l, cut glass?

Nardo, it is most important that l have

a wonderful time at the dance tonight.

lt is?

Because tonight is

the real beginning of my life...

as a young lady of America.

Get out of here.

Come on, guys.

- Hey, look what l got.

- Hi, Consuelo.

Maria, these are some of my friends

you have not met.

- Hey, pick up.

- How are you?

This is Loco.

Teresita.

- My sister Maria.

- Good evening.

And this is Luis Arruza.

Rosalia, hi.

All right, boys and girls.

Attention, please.

- Come here.

- Okay, let's get on with it.

My, this is a fine turnout

we have here tonight.

Hey, it's all for you, Glad Hand.

l know all of you

boys and girls are here...

because you want to

make new friends...

and get closer to old ones.

So tonight...

kids, we're gonna do

something special.

We're gonna have

a get-together dance.

Ginger-peachy!

All right. Now, kids.

l want you to form two circles.

- How many?

- Two. Boys on the outside.

- Girls on the inside.

- Hey, where are you?

All right.

When the music stops...

each boy dances with

whichever girl is opposite.

Okay?

Two circles, kids.

Well, it won't hurt you to try.

Ooh, it hurts, it hurts.

Snowboy.

That's it, kids.

Keep the ball rolling.

Around she goes,

and where she stops...

nobody knows.

Here we go.

Boys to my right,

and girls to my left.

- Mambo!

- Mambo!

Go!

You're not thinkin'

l'm someone else?

l know you are not.

Or that we met before?

l know we have not.

l felt...

l knew something never before

was going to happen...

had to happen,

but this is so much more.

My hands are cold.

Yours too.

So warm.

So beautiful.

Beautiful.

lt's so much to believe.

You're not makin' a joke.

l have not yet learned

how to joke that way.

l think now l never will.

Get your hands off, American!

- Stay away from my sister.

- Sister?

- Couldn't you see he's one of them?

- No, l saw only him.

There's only one thing they want

from a Puerto Rican girl.

- That's a lie.

- Later, Tony.

Don't listen to them.

She will listen to her brother

before she listens to you.

- lf you two want to settle this--

- Please, boys!

Everything was going so well.

We're all here to have a good time.

Come here a second.

l want to talk to you.

Take her out of here.

We're going home.

- lt is my first dance.

- Please, we are family. Now, go.

Come, Maria.

- l don't want you.

- l want you though.

l want you for a war council.

Jets and Sharks.

- The pleasure is mine.

- Let's go outside.

l would not leave the ladies alone

with your kind around.

We will meet you at midnight.

- Doc's candy store?

- Mm-hmm.

And no jazz before then.

l understand the rules...

native boy.

lce.

Doc's at midnight.

Spread the word.

Right, Daddy-O.

The most beautiful sound

l ever heard

Maria

All the beautiful sounds

of the world

ln a single word

l just met a girl named Maria

And suddenly that name

Will never be the same to me

l just kissed a girl

named Maria

And suddenly l found

How wonderful a sound can be

Say it loud

and there's music playing

Say it soft

And it's almost like praying

l'll never stop saying

Say it loud

and there's music playing

Say it soft

And it's almost like praying

l'll never stop saying

The most beautiful sound

l ever heard

Now, l do not say these things

to spoil your evening...

or to hear myself talk.

l am here longer than you.

Someday when you are an old

married woman with five children...

then you can tell me what to do,

but now it is the other way around.

Now go to bed.

He's the old married woman.

You know, she has a mother,

also a father.

They do not know this country

any better than she does.

You do not know it at all.

Girls here are free to have fun.

She is in America now.

Puerto Rico is in America now.

Sometimes l don't know

which is thicker--

your skull or your accent.

- Let them wait.

- ls Maria all right?

- l should be so all right.

- lt will not happen again.

Pepe, lndio.

- After tonight, things will be settled.

- First settle your stomach.

Never mind my stomach.

Well, l mind your nose

and your head broken.

- Broken?

- Sure.

They use Maria for an excuse

to start World War lll.

lt is more than that.

More than what?

She was only dancing.

With an American

who is really a Polack.

Says the spic.

You are not so cute.

- That Tony is.

- And he works.

A delivery boy.

- And what are you?

- An assistant.

And Chino makes half

of what the Polack makes.

- The Polack is an American.

- Here comes the whole commercial.

Your mother's a Pole.

Your father's a Swede.

But you were born here.

That's all that you need.

You are an American.

But us?

Foreigners!

Lice. Cockroaches.

But it's true.

When l think about how l thought

it would be for us here.

We came like children,

believing, trusting.

With our hearts open.

With our arms open.

You came with your mouth open.

You did, spic, and you'll

go back in handcuffs.

l'm going back in a Cadillac.

- Air-conditioned.

- Built-in bar.

- Telephone.

- Television.

Compatible color.

lf you had all that here, why would you

want to go back to Puerto Rico?

Even if you didn't have all that here,

why would you want to go back?

lt's so good here?

lt's so good there?

We had nothing.

Ah, we still have nothing,

only more expensive.

Anita Josephina...

- Beatriz del Carmen Margarita.

- lt's plain Anita now.

- Et cetera.

- Leave me alone. At least l--

Once an immigrant,

always an immigrant.

Hey, look, instead of a shampoo,

she's been brainwashed.

- Stop it.

- She's given up Puerto Rico.

Now she's queer for Uncle Sam.

Oh, no. That's not true.

Puerto Rico

My heart's devotion

Let it sink back

ln the ocean

Always the hurricanes blowing

Always the population growing

And the money owing

And the sunlight streaming

And the natives steaming

l like the island Manhattan

l know you do.

Smoke on your pipe

And put that in

l like to be in America

Okay by me in America

Everything free in America

For a small fee in America

Buying on credit is so nice

One look at us

and they charge twice

l have my own washing machine

What will you have though

to keep clean

Skyscrapers bloom in America

Cadillacs zoom in America

lndustry boom in America

Twelve in a room in America

Lots of new housing

with more space

Lots of doors slamming

in our face

l'll get a terrace apartment

Better get rid of your accent

Life can be bright in America

lf you can fight in America

Life is all right in America

lf you're all white in America

La-la-la, la-la, America

Here you are free

and you have pride

Long as you stay

on your own side

Free to be anything

you choose

Free to wait tables

and shine shoes

Everywhere grime in America

Organized crime in America

Terrible time in America

You forget l'm in America

l think l go back

to San Juan

l know a boat you can get on

Bye-bye!

Everyone there

will give big cheer

Everyone there

will have moved here

Come on! Hey, Chino.

What are you doing?

- Meet me on the roof later.

- Meet me on the roof later.

- Well, will you or won't you?

- Well, will you or won't you?

Well, will you?

You have your big,

important war council.

The council or me?

First one...

and then the other.

l'm an American girl now.

l don't wait.

Back home,

women know their place.

Back home, little boys

don't have war councils.

But they do here.

You want me to be

an American, don't you?

lmmigrant!

Good night, Maria.

Good night.

Quiet!

Come down.

Please. My mother

and father will wake up.

Just for a minute.

A minute is not enough.

- For an hour then.

- l cannot.

Then forever!

Then l'm comin' up.

Now see what you've done.

lt is dangerous.

lf Bernardo knew--

We'll let him know.

l'm not one of 'em, Maria.

But you are not one of us,

and l am not one of you.

- To me you're all the beautiful--

- Maruca.

His pet name for me.

l like him,

and he will like me.

He is like Bernardo-- afraid.

lmagine being afraid of you.

- You see?

- l see you.

Oh, Maria, see only me.

Only you

You're the only thing

l'll see forever

ln my eyes, in my words

and in everything l do

Nothing else but you ever

And there's nothing for me but Maria

Every sight that l see is Maria

Tony, Tony

Always you

Every thought l'll ever know

Everywhere l go

you'll be

All the world

is only you and me

Tonight, tonight

lt all began tonight

l saw you

and the world went away

There's only you tonight

What you are

What you do

What you say

Today

All day l had the feeling

A miracle would happen

l know now l was right

For here you are

And what was just a world

ls a star tonight

The world is full of light

With suns and moons

all over the place

The world is wild and bright

Going mad

Shooting sparks into space

Today the world

was just an address

A place for me to live in

No better than all right

But here you are

And what was just a world

ls a star tonight

l cannot stay.

Go quickly.

- l'm not afraid.

- Please.

Good night.

l love you.

Yes.

Yes, hurry.

- When will l see you?

- Tomorrow.

l work at the bridal shop

across the street-- Madam Lucia's.

- l'll come there.

- At closing time, : .

When you come,

use the back door.

What does "Tony" stand for?

Anton.

Good night

Sleep well

and when you dream

Dream of me

Tonight

- Where the devil are them Sharks?

- Maybe they're too chicken to show.

We got time, A-rab.

Riff and lce ain't even here yet.

- Come on, come on.

- He don't use a switchblade.

- He don't even use an atomic ray gun.

- Who don't?

Captain Marvel.

Gee, l love him.

So marry him!

l ain't never gonna get married.

Too noisy.

You ain't never gonna get married.

Too ugly.

Down goes a teenage hoodlum.

Gee, could a real zip gun

make you do like that?

l know what a zip gun could make you do.

You better wear diapers.

Go walk the streets

like your sister.

Listen, jail bait. l licked you twice,

and l can do it again!

Come on, Anybodys,

knock it off.

- Riff's here.

- Jets all present and accounted for?

l'm proud of ya.

Ya done good at the dance.

- So where are they?

- Unwind, Action!

- Any sign of Tony?

- The lnvisible Man.

What do you think

the Sharks are gonna ask for?

- Mercy.

- Just rubber hoses maybe.

- Relax, little man.

- You tell him, Daddy-O.

- l'm ready.

- Easy. Cool.

Riff, in a tight spot,

you gonna need every man you can get.

An American tragedy.

Look. When the Sharks come,

you chicks cut out.

We might,

and then again, we might not.

This ain't kid stuff, Graziella.

l and Velma ain't

kid stuff, neither.

- Are we, Vel?

- No, thank you.

And you can punctuate it.

What are we poopin' around

with dumb broads?

l and Velma ain't dumb.

The bulls!

- Hey, you.

- Hey, who?

- Who? Me?

- Her?

Top o' the evening,

Officer Krupke.

You!

- Me, sir?

- Yeah, you.

- Didn't you hear me?

- Yes, sir.

l got twenty-twenty hearin'.

-Then why didn't you answer me?

-His mother told him not to answer cops.

- Wise apple, you want me to run you in?

- lndeed not, sir.

l oughta run

all you punks in.

What are you standin'

around here for?

You see, sir,

we're afraid to go home.

Such a bad environment.

- We don't get no love there.

- Oh, it's awful.

lf you don't leave us

stay out in the streets...

we liable to turn into

a bunch of juvenile delinquents.

l know you guys was cookin' up

somethin' at the dance tonight...

so don't think you're gonna

put nothin' over on me.

Sergeant, come on.

We got a - .

Now go on, get a move on,

all of you.

Don't let me catch none of you

around here when l get back.

l'll see you around now.

- You forgot to say good-bye.

- Them headbusters ain't got no manners.

Don't let me catch none of you

around here when l get back.

- They treat us like we ain't human.

- He was pretty mad, huh?

So what happened?

A big fat nothin', right?

Yeah, but suppose he comes back while us

and the Sharks are havin' a war council?

We'll snow him some more.

Them cops believe everything they read

in the papers about us cruddy J.D.'s...

so we give 'em

somethin' to believe in.

Hey, you!

- Who, me, Officer Krupke?

- Yeah, you!

Give me one good reason for not draggin'

ya down to the station house, ya punk!

Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke

Ya gotta understand

lt's just our bringin' up-ke

that gets out outta hand

Our mothers all are junkies

Our fathers all are drunks

Golly Moses

Naturally we're punks

Gee, Officer Krupke

We're very upset

We never had the love

that every child oughta get

We ain't no delinquents

We're misunderstood

- Deep down inside us there is good

- There is good

There is good, there is good

There is untapped good

Like inside

the worst of us is good

- That's a touchin' good story!

- Let me tell it to the world!

Just tell it to the judge!

Dear kindly Judge

Your Honor

My parents treat me rough

With all their marijuana

they won't give me a puff

They didn't wanna have me

But somehow l was had

Leapin' lizards

That's why l'm so bad

Right! Officer Krupke

you're really a square

This boy don't need a judge

He needs an analyst's care

lt's just his neurosis

that oughta be curbed

- He's psychologically disturbed

- l'm disturbed

We're disturbed, we're disturbed

We're the most disturbed

Like we're psychologically disturbed

Hear ye! Hear ye!

ln the opinion of this court,

this child is depraved...

on account he ain't had

a normal home.

Hey, l'm depraved

on account l'm deprived!

So take him to a headshrinker.

You!

Who, me?

My daddy beats my mommy

My mommy clobbers me

My grandpa is a commie

My grandma pushes tea

My sister wears a mustache

My brother wears a dress

Goodness gracious

That's why l'm a mess

Yes! Officer Krupke

he shouldn't be here

This boy don't need a couch

He needs a useful career

Society's played him

a terrible trick

- And sociologically he's sick

- l am sick

We are sick, we are sick

We are sick, sick, sick

Like we're sociologically sick

ln my opinion, this child does not need

to have his head shrunk at all.

Juvenile delinquency

is purely a social disease.

Hey, l got a social disease!

Take him to a social worker.

- Which way?

- That way.

Dear kindly social worker

They tell me

get a job

Like be a soda-jerker

Which means like be a slob

lt's not l'm antisocial

l'm only anti-work

Gloryosky

That's why l'm a jerk

Officer Krupke

you've done it again

This boy don't need a job

He needs a year in the pen

lt ain't just a question

of misunderstood

- Deep down inside him he's no good

- l'm no good

We're no good, we're no good

We're no earthly good

Like the best of us

is no damn good

- The trouble is he's lazy

- The trouble is he drinks

- The trouble is he's crazy

- The trouble is he stinks

- The trouble is he's growing

- The trouble is he's grown

Krupke, we got troubles

of our own

Gee, Officer Krupke

we're down on our knees

'Cause no one wants a fella

with a social disease

Gee, Officer Krupke

what are we to do

Gee, Officer Krupke

Krup you

Curfew, gentlemen,

and ladies.

Aren't you up a little late,

Baby John?

l got insomnia, Doc.

Too many worries.

- Any of you seen Tony tonight?

- You bet ya we did.

He was supposed to

clean up the store.

So maybe he decided

to clean up the P.R.s instead.

- Doc, you ain't gonna close up now?

- l'm not?

- Listen, we got a war council here.

- A who?

- To determine weapons.

- We gonna set up a mix with the P.R.s.

Weapons.

You couldn't play basketball?

Get with it, buster.

You don't understand.

We got special business comin' here.

- Makin' trouble for the Puerto Ricans?

- They make trouble for us.

For you, trouble is a relief.

We gotta stand up to 'em.

lt's important.

Fightin' over a little piece

of street is so important?

- To us it is.

- To hoodlums it is.

- Who you callin' hoodlums?

- War councils--

- Don't start, Doc.

- When l was your age--

When you was my age?

When my old man was my age--

my brother was my age.

You was never my age,

none of ya.

And the sooner you creeps get hip

to that, the sooner you'll dig us!

l'll dig you an early grave,

that's what l'll dig.

Dig, dig, dig.

Okay, Doc, set 'em up.

Cokes all around.

Let's get down to business.

Bernardo hasn't learned

the procedures of gracious livin'.

l don't like you either,

so cut it.

- Kick it, Doc.

- Boys, couldn't you maybe talk--

Kick it!

We challenge you to a rumble.

All out, once and for all.

Accept?

- On what terms?

- Whatever terms you're callin'.

You crossed the line

once too often.

- You started it.

- Who jumped Baby John this afternoon?

- Who jumped me first day l moved here?

- Who asked you to move here?

- Move where you're wanted!

- Spics!

- Mick!

- Wop!

We accept.

- Time.

- Tomorrow?

After dark.

- Place.

- The park?

The river.

Under the highway.

- Weapons.

- Hey, Doc!

Weapons.

- You call.

- Your challenge.

Afraid to call?

Rocks.

- Belts.

- Pipes.

- Cans.

- Bricks.

- Bats!

- Clubs!

- Chains!

- Bottles, knives, guns!

- What a coop full of chickens.

- Who you callin' chicken?

- Every dog knows his own.

- l'm callin' you all chicken.

Big tough buddy boys

gotta throw bricks, huh?

Afraid to get in close?

Afraid to slug it out?

- Afraid to use plain skin?

- Not even garbage?

- That ain't a rumble.

- Who says?

- You said call weapons.

- lt can be clinched by a fair fight.

lf you've got the guts to risk that.

Best man from each gang to slug it out.

l would enjoy to risk that.

Okay, fair fight.

Wait a minute.

The commanders say yes or no.

Fair fight.

When l get through with you...

you will be like a fish

after skinning.

Your best man

fights our best man...

and we pick him.

- l thought l would be fighting--

- You shook on it.

Yes, l shook on it.

lf you wanna change your mind,

we can still--

- Bernardo, would you like a cigarette?

- No, thank you. l don't smoke.

Evening, Lieutenant.

l and Tony was just closin' up.

Well, now,

this is more like it, fellas.

Warms me all over

to see you this way.

And after only a couple of words from me

at the playground this afternoon.

Oh, do you mind?

l have no mind.

l'm the village idiot.

Headquarters hears about this,

l may even get a promotion.

Good deal all around,

huh, Bernardo?

l get a promotion...

and you Puerto Ricans

get what you've been itchin' for.

Use of the playground,

use of the gym...

the streets, the candy store.

So what if they do turn this whole town

into a stinkin' pigsty?

Don't stop him.

He wants to get home...

write letters to San Juan,

tell 'em how he's got it made here.

What l mean is, clear out!

l said, clear out!

Oh, yeah, sure, l know.

lt's a free country

and l ain't got the right.

But l got a badge.

What do you got?

Things are tough all over.

Beat it!

Okay, fellas.

Where's the rumble gonna be?

Come on. l know regular Americans

don't rub with the gold-teeth unless--

- Look, Lieutenant--

- You shut your mouth!

Come on, Baby John...

before that smooth little kisser

of yours gets cut up for life.

Now, where's it gonna be?

The river?

The park?

Look, fellas, l'm for you.

l want this beat cleaned up,

and you can do it for me.

l'll even lend a hand

if things get rough.

Now, where ya gonna rumble?

The playground?

Sweeney's lot?

Why don't you get smart,

you stupid hooligans?

l oughta take you to the station

and throw you in the can right now.

You and the tinhorn

immigrant scum you come from!

How's your old man's d.t.'s, A-rab?

How's the action on your

mother's side of the street, Action?

One of these days

there won't be anybody to hold ya.

Get him outta here!

Come on!

Don't worry, l'll find out

where it's gonna be.

So be sure to finish each other off,

because if you don't, l will!

Oh, yeah, sure.

Understand 'em.

That's what they keep tellin' me

down at headquarters: understand.

Well, you try keeping hoodlums in line

and see what it does to you.

lt wouldn't give me

a mouth like his.

Come on, Doc.

Don't let it get ya.

l'm sick.

You heard.

lt's gonna be a fair fight.

And that's gonna cure somethin'?

From here on in,

everything's gonna be all right.

- l got a feelin'.

- What have you been takin' tonight?

A trip to the moon.

And l'll tell ya a secret, Doc.

lt ain't a man that's up there.

lt's a girl.

A lady.

So that's why you

made it a fair fight.

l'm gonna see her tomorrow

and l can't wait.

- Things aren't tough enough?

- Doc, l'm in love.

- And you're not frightened?

- Should l be?

No, l'm frightened enough

for the both of you.

What has Chino done to her?

Chino? Why Chino?

Maybe she's just

dolling up for us.

Rosalia, Consuelo...

my adorable friends,

can you keep a secret?

l'm hot for secrets.

No, l won't tell you.

- What?

- What?

- The poor girl is out of her mind.

- l am-- crazy.

She might be at that.

She looks somehow different.

- l do?

- And l think she is up to something.

l am?

''l do?'' ''l am?''

She talks like a parrot.

What is going on with you, Maria?

l feel pretty

Oh, so pretty

l feel pretty and witty and gay

And l pity any girl

who isn't me today

l feel charming

Oh, so charming

lt's alarming how charming l feel

And so pretty

That l hardly can believe l'm real

See the pretty girl

in that mirror there

Who can that attractive girl be

Such a pretty face

Such a pretty dress

Such a pretty smile

Such a pretty me

l feel stunning

and entrancing

Feel like running

and dancing for joy

For l'm loved

by a pretty wonderful boy

Have you met my good friend Maria

The craziest girl on the block

You'll know her

the minute you see her

She's the one who is in

an advanced state of shock

She thinks she's in love

She thinks she's in Spain

She isn't in love

She's merely insane

lt must be the heat

or some rare disease

Or too much to eat

Or maybe it's fleas

Keep away from her

Send for Chino

This is not the Maria we know

Modest and pure

polite and refined

Well-bred and mature

and out of her mind

Miss America!

Miss America!

Bravo! Speech!

l feel pretty

Oh, so pretty

That the city

should give me its key

A committee should be organized

to honor me

l feel dizzy

l feel sunny

l feel fizzy and funny and fine

And so pretty

Miss America can just resign

See the pretty girl

in that mirror there

- What mirror where

- Who can that attractive girl be

- Which, what, where, who

- Such a pretty face

Such a pretty dress, such a pretty smile

Such a pretty me

l feel stunning

And entrancing

Feel like running

and dancing for joy

For l'm loved

by a pretty wonderful boy

You want to sing, do it with needles,

or you'll be singing for your supper.

But Madam Lucia, what can you expect?

We use Singer sewing machines.

Sure. You make the bad joke home

where l can't hear it!

Well, go now.

lt's closing time. Shoo!

You pull down the shades,

pick up the pins...

turn off the lights

and lock the doors.

Oh, the jail is opened.

l thought she'd never leave.

lt's hard to believe that old bag

was once a young bag like us.

Let's go before she

changes her mind and comes back.

You go, querida.

l will lock up.

- Why?

- l have work.

- Do it tomorrow.

- l am in no hurry.

l am. l'm going home now

and take a nice long bubble bath.

Black Orchid.

All over. l got a date with Nardo

after the rumble.

What rumble?

Oh, well, Nardo's Sharks

and those boys at the dance.

They fight each other tonight?

They don't play potsy.

Why must they always fight?

Well, you saw how they dance-- like

they gotta get rid of something quick.

That's how they fight.

To get rid of what?

Too much feeling.

And they do get rid of it.

Boy, after a fight,

that brother of yours is so healthy.

Definitely: Black Orchid.

''You go, querida.

l will lock up.''

lt's too early for noches.

Buenas tardes.

He just came from the drugstore

to deliver aspirin.

- You'll need it.

- Not us.

We're fine.

We're out of the world.

You're out of your heads.

- We're feet in the air.

- Anita can see that.

You will not tell?

Tell what? How can l know

what goes on feet over my head?

You better be home in minutes.

lt's all right.

She likes us.

But she is worried,

and so am l.

- That's foolish.

- Are you going to that rumble tonight?

- Why?

- You must go and stop it.

l have stopped it. lt's only gonna be

a fistfight now between two of 'em.

Any fight is no good for us.

Everything is good for us.

We got magic.

Listen, and hear me.

You must go and stop it.

lt means that much to you?

l will, then.

l believe you.

You do have magic.

Of course.

l've got you.

And tonight, after l stop the rumble

that is no rumble, l'll come by for you.

l will wait for you

on the roof.

Not the roof.

l'll come to your house.

You cannot.

My mama.

- Then l'll take you to my house.

- Your mama.

She'll come runnin' from the kitchen

to welcome ya. She lives in the kitchen.

- Dressed so elegant?

- l told her you were comin'.

She'll look at your face,

try not to smile, and say...

''Skinny, but pretty.''

She is plump, no doubt.

Fat.

l take after my mama--

delicate-boned.

Not in front of Mama!

l would like to see Papa in this.

Mama will make him

ask about your prospects.

Many.

- lf you go to church.

- Oh, always.

Yes, Papa might like you.

- May l have your daughter's hand?

- He says yes.

- And your mama?

- l'm afraid to ask her.

Tell her she's not getting a daughter.

She's getting rid of a son.

- She says yes.

- She has good taste.

Here. Maid of honor.

Oh, that color is bad for Anita.

- The best man.

- That is my papa!

Sorry, Papa.

Here we go, Riff.

Womb to tomb.

Now you see, Anita?

There was nothing to worry about.

Look. Mama's cryin' already.

l, Anton, take thee, Maria...

l, Maria, take thee, Anton...

for richer, for poorer...

in sickness and in health...

to love and to honor...

to hold and to keep...

from each sun to each moon...

from tomorrow to tomorrow...

from now to forever...

till death do us part.

With this ring, l thee wed.

Make of our hands

One hand

Make of our hearts

One heart

Make of our vows

One last vow

Only death will

Part us now

Make of our lives

One life

Day after day

One life

Now it begins

Now we start

One hand

One heart

Even death

Won't part

Us now

The Jets are gonna

have their day tonight

The Jets are gonna

have their way tonight

The Puerto Ricans grumble

Fair fight

But if they start a rumble

We'll rumble 'em right

We're gonna hand 'em

a surprise tonight

We're gonna cut 'em

down to size tonight

We said, okay, no rumpus

No tricks

But just in case they jump us

We're ready to mix

Tonight

We're gonna rock it tonight

We're gonna jazz it up

and have us a ball

They're gonna get it tonight

The more they turn it on

the harder they'll fall

- Well, they began it

- Well, they began it

And we're the ones to stop 'em

once and for all

Tonight

Anita's gonna get

her kicks tonight

We'll have our private

little mix tonight

He'll walk in hot and tired

Poor dear

Don't matter if he's tired

as long as he's here

Tonight, tonight

Won't be just any night

Tonight there will be

no morning star

l'll see my love tonight

And for us

Stars will stop where they are

Today the minutes seem like hours

The hours go so slowly

And still the sky is light

Oh, moon

Grow bright

And make this endless day

Endless night

The Jets are comin'

out on top tonight

We're gonna watch

Bernardo drop tonight

The Puerto Rican punk'll go down

And when he's hollered uncle

We'll tear up the town

- We'll be in back of you, boy

- Right

- You're gonna flatten him good

- Right

Tonight there will be

no morning star

And then we'll

have us a ball tonight

We're gonna rock it tonight

We're gonna jazz it tonight

We're gonna mix it tonight

Today the minutes

seem like hours

The hours go so slowly

And still the sky is light

We'll stop 'em once and for all

The Sharks are gonna

have their way

The Jets are gonna

have their day

We're gonna rock it tonight

Tonight

Ready.

- Now move in and shake hands.

- For what?

Well, that's the way

it's done, buddy boy.

More gracious living.

Every one of you hates every one of us,

and we hate you right back.

- Let's get at it.

- Sure.

Hold it!

Get with the gang.

lt's all okay.

- No!

- What are you doin'?

Maybe he has found the guts

to fight his own battles.

lt don't take guts

if you got a battle.

We ain't got one, none of us.

Okay, Nardo?

Hold it!

Let's cool it.

The deal is a fair fight

between you and lce. Get with the gang.

Mother hen protecting the little one?

l'll give you a battle, gallito.

- You've got one!

- l'll take pretty boy on as a warm-up.

Afraid, pretty boy?

Afraid, gutless?

- Afraid, chicken?

- Cut it!

l don't want to.

- l'm sure.

- Now listen to me.

- Are you chicken?

- There's nothin' to fight about.

- The hell there ain't!

- You got it wrong!

- Why can't you understand?

- What do you say, chicken?

Kill him, Tony.

- Come on, man.

- Afraid to fight?

- Let me see you fight.

- What's the matter?

He's chicken, boy.

He is chicken!

- Hey, pretty boy.

- Bernardo, listen.

Don't! Stop it!

We got nothin' to fight about.

- You yellowbellied chicken!

- Don't push me!

Come on,

you yellowbellied Pollack!

- Riff, what are you doin'?

- Get outta here, Tony!

Riff, don't!

- Hold him!

- lce, let me go!

Riff, don't!

Keep outta this!

Somebody stop him!

Let me go!

- Come on, Nardo!

- Stop him!

Riff, don't!

Get him!

Tony, come on.

Come on, Tony.

Gotta get outta here!

Come on!

Come on, Tony.

Come on! Get outta here!

Come on!

Come on, Tony!

Wait for me, Rosa.

There was no one downstairs.

My mother and father

are at the store.

l didn't expect you to come by

or l would have waited down--

You have been fighting, Chino?

Yes. l am sorry.

That is not like you.

You must go home and wash up.

- l will see you tomorrow.

- Maria, at the rumble--

- There was no rumble.

- There was.

- You are wrong.

- Nobody meant for it to happen.

Tell me.

lt is bad.

Very bad?

You see--

lt will be easier

if you say it very fast.

There was a fight...

and Nardo--

Somehow a knife--

And Nardo and someone--

What happened to Tony?

Tell me!

ls Tony all right?

He killed your brother!

You are lying.

Chino, why do you lie to me?

Chino, you are lying! Lying!

Why do you lie?

Make it not be true.

Please make it not be true.

Madre de Dios,

l will do anything.

Make me die,

only please make it not be true.

Make it not be--

Killer! Killer! Killer!

l tried to stop it.

l did try.

l don't know what went wrong.

l didn't mean to hurt him.

l didn't wanna.

But Riff was like my brother.

When Bernardo killed him--

Bernardo didn't

mean it either, l know.

l thought you knew.

l didn't come to tell you that.

Just for you to forgive me

so l could go to the police.

- lt'll be easy now.

- l won't let you.

- l must.

- Stay with me.

- Maria, l love you so much.

- Don't leave me.

- Whatever you want, l'll do.

- Hold me.

- Oh, forever.

- Tighter.

We'll be all right,

l know it.

We're really together now.

But it's not us.

lt's everything around us.

Then l'll take you away,

where nothin' can get to us.

Not anyone or anything.

There's a place for us

Somewhere a place for us

Peace and quiet

And open air

Wait for us somewhere

There's a time for us

Someday a time for us

Time together with time to spare

Time to look

Time to care someday

Somewhere

We'll find a new way of living

We'll find a way of forgiving

Somewhere

There's a place for us

A time and place for us

Hold my hand

and we're halfway there

Hold my hand

and l'll take you there

Somehow

Someday

Somewhere

Baby John,

what are ya doin' here?

Nothin'.

What are ya doin' nothin'

here for? Come on.

l don't want the guys

to see me, A-rab.

Why not?

Well, l'm cryin'.

You are?

- What for?

- l don't know.

Blow your nose.

Did you get a look

at their faces?

- Which faces?

- You know.

At the rumble--

Riff and Bernardo.

l wish it was yesterday.

Me too.

l'm scared.

Cut it out!

You hear me?

What are we gonna do?

We're gonna meet the other guys

and form up, that's what.

Now come on.

Let's go.

Do you got a handkerchief first?

What's wrong with your sleeve?

- Where ya been?

- Where do ya think? The Stork Club?

- We thought they nabbed you.

- Go on.

- You didn't see Tony, huh?

- No. Nothin' but coppers.

- What's wrong with him?

- There's nothin' wrong with him.

All right, all right.

- Maybe we oughta go home.

- For what?

- Bet ya they got him.

- Not Tony.

He was great.

Huh, Baby John?

Oh, yeah. He really

come through for the Jets.

Just like Riff said he--

Said he would.

Riff! l want Riff!

Come on, Graziella.

Nobody was supposed

to get killed.

lt just--

- They're gonna pay.

- Them stinkin' Sharks.

- Dirty fighting.

- They started it.

- Why don't we finish it?

- Cool it.

We gotta show 'em who's on top.

Let's do it now!

Ain't we had enough?

What's the matter?

You scared?

- Who you callin' scared?

- Lay off of him.

- Mind your own business.

- Don't sound off or l'll hit you.

- You'll do what?

- Knock it off!

Shut up down there,

you dirty good-for-nothin's!

Go home where you belong!

Who you callin' good-for-nothin',

you loudmouthed crud-head!

-l'll put this through your stupid face!

-Get inside, all of ya!

- Shut up!

- l don't take that from nobody!

Next creep who sounds on me,

the next guy who gets in my craw--

You'll laugh!

Now you all better dig this

and dig it good.

No matter who or what

is eatin' you...

man, you show it

and you are dead!

You are cuttin' a hole in yourselves for

them to stick in a red-hot umbrella...

and open it wide.

Man, you wanna get past the cops

when they start asking about tonight?

You play it cool.

You wanna live in this lousy world?

Play it cool.

- l wanna get even!

- Get cool!

- l wanna bust!

- Bust cool!

- l wanna go!

- Go cool!

Boy, boy

Crazy boy

Get cool, boy

Got a rocket in your pocket

Keep cooly cool, boy

Don't get hot

'Cause, man, you've got

Some high times ahead

Take it slow

And Daddy-O

You can live it up and die in bed

Boy, boy

Crazy boy

Stay loose, boy

Breeze it, buzz it

Easy does it

Turn off the juice, boy

Go, man, go

But not like a yo-yo schoolboy

Just play it cool, boy

Real cool

Easy, Action.

Cool it, A-rab.

Cool it! Cool it!

Cool!

- Go!

- Crazy!

Boy, boy

Crazy boy

Stay loose, boy

Breeze it, buzz it

Easy does it

Turn off the juice, boy

Just play it cool, boy

Real cool

Let's go.

Where we goin'?

lf we lay low, the coppers

are gonna smell fish, so we--

- Hey, buddy boys!

- Aw, go wear a skirt.

l got scabby knees.

Listen.

- We act like we got nothin' to hide.

- Suppose they ask about the rumble?

Supposin' they ask you where's Tony

and what party's lookin' for him...

with a gun!

You know somethin'?

- l know l gotta go get a skirt.

- Come on, Anybodys.

- What's the freak know?

- Plenty.

l figured somebody oughta infiltrate

P.R. territory and spy around.

l'm very large with shadows.

l can slip in and out of 'em

like wind through a fence.

- ls she ever makin' the most of it.

- You bet your fat A, l am!

- Spill it!

- Okay!

l hear Chino tell the Sharks somethin'

about Tony and Bernardo's sister.

And then l hear Chino say...

''lf it's the last thing l do,

l'm gonna get that Polack.''

And then he pulls out

the bad news.

- Them P.R.s won't stop.

- Till we stop 'em.

Hold it!

Now listen.

Tony come through for us,

we gotta come through for Tony.

- We gotta find him before Chino does.

- And burns him.

You guys cover the river.

Snowboy, the docks.

- l'll take the back alleys.

- l and Graziella will take the streets.

- l'll cover the park.

- The schoolyard.

- Let's go.

- What about me?

You?

ln and out of the shadows.

Maybe you'll find Tony in one of 'em.

Right!

Ya done good, buddy boy.

Thanks, Daddy-O.

Who is--

Maria, it's Anita.

Are you in there?

Open the door.

l need you.

Now you are afraid, too?

- What?

- l'll be right there.

- Together.

- But where?

The bus station. We'll go so far away

they'll never find us.

- How can we?

- Doc'll help us with money.

- You'll meet me at his store.

- At Doc's, yes.

l'll wait for you there.

Hurry.

Coming, Anita.

All right, now you know.

And you still don't know.

He is one of them!

A boy like that

would kill your brother

Forget that boy

and find another

One of your own kind

Stick to your own kind

A boy like that

will give you sorrow

You'll meet another boy tomorrow

One of your own kind

Stick to your own kind

A boy who kills cannot love

A boy who kills has no heart

And he's the boy

who gets your love

And gets your heart

Very smart, Maria

Very smart

A boy like that

wants one thing only

And when he's done

he'll leave you lonely

He'll murder your love

He murdered mine

Just wait and see

Just wait, Maria

Oh, no, Anita, no

lt isn't true

Not for me

lt's true for you

Not for me

l hear your words

And in my head l know they're smart

But my heart, Anita

But my heart

Knows they're wrong

You should know better

You were in love

Or so you said

You should know better

l have a love

And it's all that l have

Right or wrong

What else can l do

l love him

l'm his

And everything he is

l am too

l have a love

And it's all that l need

Right or wrong

And he needs me too

l love him

We're one

There's nothing to be done

Not a thing l can do

But hold him

Hold him forever

Be with him now

Tomorrow

And all

Of my life

When love comes so strong

There is no right or wrong

Your love is

Your love

Chino has a gun.

l heard the boys talking.

He's hunting for Tony.

He is at Doc's store,

waiting for me.

lf Chino hurts him or touches him,

l swear to you l'll--

You'll do what Tony

did to Bernardo?

l love Tony.

l know.

l loved Bernardo.

- Anybody home?

- Yes.

- Bernardo's sister, please.

- She isn't feeling well.

Who is?

Hello, Miss.

l'm Lieutenant Schrank.

l don't like to disturb you

at a time like this--

Yes, a very bad time.

- lf you will excuse me, please.

- l have a couple of questions.

Afterwards, please.

l must go to my brother now.

- Just one minute!

- Can't you wait?

Now, you were at the dance

at the gym last night--

Will this take very long?

As long as it has to.

Excuse me.

Anita, my headache is much worse.

Will you go to

Doc's store for me?

Don't you people

keep aspirin around?

This is something special.

Will you go for me, Anita?

What shall l ask for?

Doc will know.

Tell him l have been detained...

and can't get there right away.

Or l would have

picked it up myself.

Excuse me.

You were asking?

At the gym last night...

your brother got into an argument

because you danced with the wrong boy.

Who was the boy?

Another from my country.

And his name?

Jose.

- Can't find him.

- He ain't nowhere.

- He's right down in the cellar.

- Safe and sound.

- l found him.

- You warn him about Chino?

- What's he doin' in the cellar?

- Keepin' the mice company.

No sign of Chino?

- Nothin'.

- His luck.

l'll slip out the back

and check the alleys again.

- You guys hang here.

- Right.

Boy, l'm thirsty.

Where's Doc?

Upstairs raisin'

getaway money for Tony.

- Doc ain't got no money.

- His mattress has.

Cut the frabbajabba.

Grab some readin' matter. Play the juke.

Some of you get outside. lf you see

Chino or any of those stinkin' P.R.s--

- l'd like to see Doc.

- He ain't here.

Where is he?

He went to the bank.

They made a mistake in his favor.

The banks are closed at night.

Where is he?

You know how skinny Doc is. He slipped

in through the night deposit slot.

And got stuck halfway in.

Which indicates, there's

no tellin' when he'll be back.

Where ya goin'?

Downstairs.

Didn't l tell you?

He ain't here!

l'd like to see for myself.

Please.

- Will you let me pass?

- She's too dark to pass.

- Oh, don't.

- Please don't.

- Listen, you!

- We're listenin'!

Look. l gotta give

a friend of yours a message.

- l gotta tell Tony--

- He ain't here.

- l know he is.

- Who says?

- Who's the message from?

- Never mind.

Couldn't be from Chino,

could it?

Don't you understand?

l want to help!

- Bernardo's girl wants to help?

- Even a greaseball's got feelin's.

But she wants to help get Tony.

Not much,

Bernardo's tramp.

- Bernardo's pig.

- You lyin' spic.

- Don't do that!

- Gold tooth!

- Pierced ear!

- Garlic mouth!

Stop it!

What are you doing there?

Bernardo was right.

lf one of you was

lying in the street...

bleeding...

l'd walk by and spit on you.

-Don't let her go!

-She'll tell Chino Tony's in the cellar!

Don't you touch me.

l got a message

for your American buddy.

You tell that murderer...

that Maria's

never going to meet him.

You tell him that Chino

found out about them...

and shot her!

She's dead.

When do you kids stop?

You make this world lousy.

We didn't make it, Doc.

Get outta here.

Doc, l thought l heard--

You got it!

Yeah, l got it.

You're a pal.

You're the best friend a guy ever had.

l'll pay you back

as soon as l can, l promise.

- Forget that.

- Never. l couldn't.

Doc, you know what we're gonna do

in the country, Maria and me?

We're gonna have lots of kids,

and we're gonna name 'em after ya.

That way,

when you come to visit us--

Wake up!

ls this the only way

to get through to you?

Do just what you all do?

Bust like a hot water pipe?

What's got into you?

Why do you kids live

like there's a war on?

Why do you kill?

l told you how it happened.

Maria understands.

l thought you did too.

Maria understands nothing...

ever again.

There is no Maria, Tony.

What?

- l can't.

- No, Doc!

Now tell me!

What is it?

That was Anita upstairs.

Chino found out

about you and Maria...

and he killed her.

Maria died?

Come and get me too, Chino!

Come and get me too, Chino!

- Who's that?

- lt's Anybodys. Come on.

Get out of here!

- Come and get me, damn you!

- What are ya doin'?

- Get out of here!

- Why don't you come with me--

lt ain't playin' anymore!

Can't any of you get that?

- But the gang!

- You're a girl!

Be a girl and beat it!

Come on, Chino!

Get me too!

Chino! l'm callin' for ya!

There's nobody here but me.

Come on!

Please, will ya?

l'm waitin' for ya.

l want you to.

l didn't believe hard enough.

Loving is enough.

Not here.

They won't let us be.

Then we'll get away.

- Yeah, we can.

- Yes.

- We will.

- Yes.

Hold my hand

and we're halfway there

Hold my hand

and l'll take you there

Somehow

Someday

Some--

Stay back!

How do you fire this gun, Chino?

Just by pulling

this little trigger?

How many bullets are left, Chino?

Enough for you?

And you?

All of you!

You all killed him.

And my brother.

And Riff.

Not with bullets and guns.

With hate!

Well, l can kill too,

because now l have hate!

How many can l kill, Chino?

How many, and still have

one bullet left for me?

Don't you touch him!

Special help by SergeiK

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Ice Age
Why not call it the Big Chill or the Nippy era?

I'm just sayin', how do we know it's an ice age?

Because of all the ice.

Well, things just got a little chillier.

Help. Help.

Come on, kids, let's go. The traffic's movin'.

But, but, but, Dad.

No buts. You can play extinction later.

OK. Come on, guys.

So, where's Eddie?

He said he was on the verge of an evolutionary breakthrough.

Really?

I'm flying.

Some breakthrough.

- Look out. - You're going the wrong way.

Crazy mammoth.

Do the world a favor. Move your issues off the road.

If my trunk was that small, I wouldn't draw attention to myself, pal.

Give me a break. We've been waddlin' all day.

Go ahead. Follow the crowd.

It'll be quieter when you're gone.

Come on. If he wants to freeze to death, let him.

I'm up. I'm up.

Rise and shine, everybody. Huh? Zak? Marshall?

Bertie? Uncle Fungus?

Where is everybody? Come on, guys, we're gonna miss the migration.

They left without me. They do this every year.

Why? Doesn't anyone love me?

Isn't there anyone who cares about Sid the Sloth?

All right, I'll just go by myself.

Sick.

Wide body, curb it next time.

Oh, jeez. Yuck.

I can't believe it. Fresh wild greens. Frank, where did you ever...?

- Go ahead. Dig in. - A dandelion.

- I thought the frost wiped 'em all out. - All but one.

It makes me so... I wanna... Yuck.

This has definitely not been my day. You know what I'm sayin', buddy?

What a mess. You rhinos have tiny brains. Did you know that?

It's just a fact. No offense. You probably didn't even know what I'm talkin' about.

Yummo.

A dandelion. Must be the last one of the season.

- Carl. - Easy, Frank.

He ruined our salad.

My mistake. That was my mistake. Let me...

No, no, seriously, let me take care of this. What is this?

Pine cones. Oh, my goodness. They're my favorite.

Delicious. That's good eating.

But don't let me hog them all up. Here, you have some.

Tasty, isn't it? "Bon appétit."

Now?

Now.

- Just pretend that I'm not here. - I wanted to hit him at full speed.

- That's OK. We'll have some fun with him. - Don't let them impale me. I wanna live.

- Get off me. - Come on, you're makin' a scene.

We'll just take our furry piņata and go.

If it's not them today, it's someone else tomorrow.

Well, I'd rather it not be today. OK?

We'll break your neck so you don't feel a thing.

Wait a minute. I thought rhinos were vegetarians.

- An excellent point. - Shut up.

Who says we're gonna eat him after we kill him?

I don't like animals that kill for pleasure.

- Save it for a mammal that cares. - I'm a mammal that cares.

OK, if either of you make it across that sinkhole in front of ya, you get the sloth.

That's right, you losers. You take one step and you're dead.

- You were bluffing, huh? - Yeah. Yeah, that was a bluff.

Get him.

A dandelion?

We did it.

- You have beautiful eyes. - Get off my face.

Whoa, we make a great team. What do you say we head south together?

Great. Jump on my back and relax the whole way.

- Wow, really? - No.

Wait, aren't you going south? The change of seasons, migration instincts.

- Any of this a-ringin' a bell? - I guess not. Bye.

OK, then. Thanks for the help. I can take it from here.

You overgrown weasel. Wait till we get down there.

That south thing is way overrated. The heat, the crowds - who needs it?

Isn't this great? You and me, two bachelors knockin' about in the wild.

No, you just want a bodyguard so you don't become somebody's side dish.

You're a very shrewd mammal.

OK, lead the way, Mr Big... Didn't get the name.

- Manfred. - Manfred? Yuck.

How about Manny the Moody Mammoth? Or Manny the Melancholy... Manny the...

Stop following me.

OK, so you've got issues. You won't even know I'm here. I'll just zip the lip.

Look at the cute little baby, Diego.

- Isn't it nice he'll be joining us for breakfast? - It wouldn't be breakfast without him.

Especially since his daddy wiped out half our pack and wears our skin to keep warm.

An eye for an eye, don't you think?

Let's show him what happens when he messes with sabers.

Alert the troops. We attack at dawn.

And, Diego, bring me that baby alive.

If I'm gonna enjoy my revenge, I want it to be fresh.

Phew. I'm wiped out.

- That's your shelter? - You're a big guy. You got a lotta wood.

- I'm a little guy. - You got half a stick.

But with my little stick and my highly evolved brain, I shall create fire.

Fascinating.

We'll see if brains triumph over brawn tonight. Now, won't we?

Think I saw a spark.

Any chance I could squeeze in there with you, Manny, ol' pal?

Isn't there someone else you can annoy?

Friends? Family? Poisonous reptiles?

My family abandoned me. They just kinda migrated without me.

You should see what they did last year.

They woke up early and tied my hands and feet

and they gagged me with a field mouse,

covered their tracks, went through water so I'd lose their scent,

and... who needs 'em, anyway?

So what about you? You have family?

OK, you're tired. I see. We'll talk more in the morning.

Manfred? Manfred? Could you scooch over a drop?

Come on. Nobody falls asleep that fast.

Manny.

There's Diego. Fall back.

- Where's the baby? - I lost it over the falls.

You lost it?

- I want that baby, Diego. - I'll get it.

You'd better, unless you want to serve as a replacement.

We'll go up to Half Peak. Meet us there.

It had better be alive.

Can we trust you with that, Diego?

Let's go.

She picked a hair off my shoulder and says, "If you have an extra mating dance,

at least pick a female with the same color pelt."

I thought "Whoa. She's gonna go praying mantis on me."

If you find a mate, you should be loyal. In your case, grateful.

- Now get away from me. - I think mating for life is stupid.

There's plenty of Sid to go around.

Manny?

Manny?

Look at that. He's OK.

She's gone.

- Manny, are you forgetting something? - No.

- But you just saved him. - I'm trying to get rid of the last thing I saved.

But you can't leave him here.

Look, there's smoke. That's his herd right up the hill.

- We should return him. - Let's get this straight. There is no "we".

There never was a "we". In fact, without me, there wouldn't even be a "you".

- Just up the hill. - Listen very carefully: I'm not going.

- Fine, be ajerk. I'll take care of him. - Yeah, that's good.

You can't even take care of yourself. This, I gotta see.

I'll return you. We don't need that meany-weeny mammoth, do we?

No, we don't.

You're an embarrassment to nature. Do you know that?

This is cake. I'm fine, I'm fine.

I'm gonna die.

Manny.

- That pink thing is mine. - No. Actually, that pink thing belongs to us.

"Us"? You two are a bit of an odd couple.

There is no "us".

I see. Can't have one of your own, so you want to adopt.

Look, I'm sorry to interrupt your snack, but we gotta go.

The baby? Please. I was returning him to his herd.

Oh, yeah. Nice try, bucktooth.

- Callin' me a liar? - I didn't say that.

You were thinkin' it.

I don't like this cat. He reads minds.

- Name's Diego, friend. - Manfred, and I'm not your friend.

Fine, Manfred. If you're lookin' for the humans, you're wastin' your time. They left.

Thanks for the advice. Now beat it.

I'll help you bring it to its herd, but leave me alone after that.

- OK. OK, deal. What's your problem? - You are my problem.

I think you're stressed, so you eat too much. It's hard to get fat on a vegan diet.

I'm not fat. It's all this fur. It makes me look poofy.

All right, you have fat hair. But when you're ready to talk, I'm here.

What are you doin'? Just drop it on the ledge.

- We should make sure they found him. - Good idea.

No, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Don't spear me.

- This is a problem. - Now what?

That's perfect.

- I told you they were gone. - Look who it is.

Don't you have some poor animal to disembowel?

They couldn't be far. I mean, they went this way, or this way?

You don't know much about tracking, do you?

I'm a sloth. I see a tree, eat a leaf. That's my tracking.

You didn't miss them by much.

It's still green. They headed north two hours ago.

It's still green. They headed north two hours ago.

You don't need this aggravation.

Give me the baby. I can track humans down a lot faster than you.

And you're just a good citizen helpin' out?

- I just know where the humans are going. - Glacier Pass.

Everybody knows they have a settlement on the other side.

Unless you know how to track, you'll never reach them before snow closes the pass.

Which should be, like, tomorrow.

So, you can give that baby to me, or go get lost in a blizzard. It's your choice.

Here's your little bundle of joy. We're returning it to the humans.

The big, bad tigey-wigey gets left behind. Poor tigey-wigey.

Sid, tigey-wigey is gonna lead the way.

Manny, can I talk to you for a second?

No. The sooner we find the humans, the sooner I get rid of Mr Stinky Drool-Face,

and the baby, too.

You won't always have Jumbo around to protect you.

And when that day comes, I suggest you watch your back, cos I'll be chewin' on it.

Über-tracker. Up front, where I can see you.

Help me.

You gotta make it stop. I can't take it anymore.

- I've eaten things that complained less. - He won't stop squirming.

- Watch its head. - Put it down.

Jeez, "pick him up, put him down..."

- Its nose is dry. - That means something's wrong with it.

- Someone should lick it. Just in case. - I'll do it.

- He's wearing one of those baby thingies. - So?

So if he poops, where does it go?

- Humans are disgusting. - OK, you. Check for poop.

- Why am I the poop-checker? - Returning him was your idea,

you're small and insignificant, and I'll pummel you if you don't.

- Why else? - Now, Sid.

I mean, my goodness. Look out. Coming through.

- Watch out. - Stop wavin' that thing around.

I'm gonna slip.

It's clean. Got ya!

Will you cut it out?

Do that again. He likes it.

It's makin' me feel better too.

Here, you hold it.

Turn him towards me.

Where is the baby?

There he is.

Where is the baby?

There he is.

Stop it. You're scarin' him.

- I bet he's hungry. - How about some milk?

- I'd love some. - Not you. The baby.

I ain't exactly lactating right now, pal.

- You're a little low on the food chain to... - Enough.

Enough, enough, enough.

Food.

I don't know, but I've been told

I don't know, but I've been told

End of the world be mighty cold

End of the world be mighty cold

Prepare for the Ice age!

Protect the dodo way of life!

Survival separates the dodos from the beasts!

Protect the dodo way of life!

Prepare for the Ice age!

- Ice age? - I've heard of these crackpots.

- Intruders. - Now, don't fall in.

- If you do, you will definitely... - Intruders. Intruder...

...burn and die.

Can we have our melon back? Junior's hungry and...

No way. This is our private stockpile for the Ice age.

Subarctic temperatures will force us underground for a billion years.

So you got three melons?

If you weren't smart enough to plan ahead, then doom on you.

Doom on you. Doom on you. Doom on you.

- Get away from me. - Doom on you.

Oh, no. No.

Retrieve the melon. Tae kwon dodos, attack.

- The melon. - The melon, the melon, the melon...

There goes our last female.

- Got it, got it, got it. - Don't got it.

The last melon.

Sid. Now we gotta find more food.

Right, more to the right. Right, right, right.

- Look at that. Dinner and a show. - Left, left, left.

Now to find a meal befitting a conquering hero.

What ho? A foe? Come on, come on. You want a piece of me?

Spoils worthy of such a noble...

Bedtime, squirt.

The triumphant return.

Huh? Oh, that.

I'm so full. How about a good-night kiss for your big buddy, Sid?

- He's asleep. - I was talking to you.

Fine, I'll tuck myself in.

All right, good night.

Will you stop it?

All right, all right. I was trying to relax.

Oy.

- What the...? - Slice me. It'll be the last thing you ever do.

- I'm workin' here, you waste of fur. - Frustrated, Diego?

Tracking down helpless infants too difficult for you?

- What are you two doin' here? - Soto's getting tired of waiting.

Yeah, he said "Come back with the baby, or don't come back at all."

I have a message for Soto.

Tell him I'm bringing the baby.

And tell him I'm bringing...

a mammoth.

- A mammoth? - Mammoths never travel alone.

This one does, and I'm leading him to Half Peak.

Look at all that meat. Let's get him.

Not yet. We'll need the whole pack to bring this mammoth down.

Get everyone ready.

Now.

- Where's the baby? - You lost it?

Sid.

It's so ugly. Positively adorable.

Hello, pumpkin. Hello, little baldy bean.

- Where'd you find it? - The poor kid, all alone in the wild.

Sabers were closing in on him.

- So I just snatched him. - So brave.

Yeah, well, he needed me, and I only wish I had one of my own, too.

Really? I find that attractive in a male.

Alas. Who wouldn't want a family, I always say.

- Where've you been hiding? - Yeah, well, you know...

Cute kid, huh? So, as I was saying, ladies...

Hey. Hi, Manny.

What's the matter with you?

Excuse me, ladies. You just keep marinating and I'll be right back.

Sexy.

He's not much to look at, but it's so hard to find a family guy.

Tell me about it. All the sensitive ones get eaten.

No, no, no. Manny, please, I'm begging you. I need him.

- A good-lookin' guy like you? - You say that, but you don't mean it.

No, seriously. Look at you. Those ladies, they don't stand a chance.

- You have a cruel sense of humor. - Don't let me cramp your style.

- Thanks, Manny. You're a pal. - Without Pinky.

Manny, I need him.

So, ladies, where were we?

- Carl. - Easy, Frank.

Pretty tail walks by, suddenly he moves like a cheetah. And that tiger...

Yeah, Mr Great Tracker. Can't even find a sloth.

What am I? The wet nurse? What are you lookin' at, bone bag?

Look at you. You're gonna grow into a great predator.

I don't think so. What have you got? You got a little patch of fur.

No fangs, no claws.

You're folds of skin wrapped in mush.

What's so threatening about you?

Does this look like a petting zoo to you? Huh?

OK. All right, wise guy. You just earned a time-out.

You think that's funny? How about this?

You'll be a little snack for the owls.

You're a brave little squirt, I'll give you that.

Thank goodness. Thank goodness. No. A tiger.

Help. Help.

- Where's the baby? - Manfred has him.

Just put me in your mouth. Come on. Hurry up. He got me.

Help.

- Get away from me. - It went this way.

Over here.

Carl. The tiger beat us to him.

Wait a minute.

He's dead all right.

Carnivores have all the fun.

Gosh, I hate breaking their hearts like that. But you know how it is.

All right, thanks. You can put me down now.

Manny. Manny.

Guys, I thought we were in a hurry. And Diego, spit that out.

You don't know where it's been.

Boy. For a second there, I thought you were gonna eat me.

- I don't eatjunk food. - Thought you were gonna...

I thought you were gonna... Were you?

Come on, wait up. Wait up. Come on, come on. Can you wait a second, please?

Fellas.

Thanks for waiting.

Three, two, one...

Sure is faithful.

- Don't make me reach back. - He started it.

I don't care who started it. I'll finish it.

Modern architecture. It'll never last.

Hiya, Manny.

Hi, Diego.

Hey, Sid.

- You're lost. - No. I know exactly where we are.

Ask him directions.

- I don't need directions. - Fine, I'll ask him.

Buddy. You see any humans go by here?

I love this game. I love this game. OK, OK.

Three words. First word. Stomp. No, no. Stamp, stamp.

Let me try. Pack.

Good one, Manny. Pack of long teeth and claws.

Pack of wolves? Pack of...

Pack of bears? Pack of fleas?

Pack of whiskers? Pack of noses?

- Pachyderm? - Pack of lies.

Pack of troubles. Pack a wallop. Pack of birds.

Pack of flying fish.

Great news. I found a shortcut.

- What do you mean, shortcut? - I mean faster than the long way around.

I know what a shortcut is.

Either we beat the humans to Glacier Pass or we take the long way and miss 'em.

Through there? What do you take me for?

This time tomorrow, you could be a free mammoth.

Or a nanny. I never get tired of peekaboo.

Guys. Guys. Check this out.

Sid, the tiger found a shortcut.

No, thanks. I choose life.

Then I suggest you take the shortcut.

- Are you threatening me? - Move, sloth!

Way to go, tiger.

Quick. Get inside.

OK, I vote shortcut.

Guys, stick together. It's easy to get lost in here.

Guys?

A fish.

Will you keep up, please? Hard enough to keep track of one baby.

I gotcha.

Captain, iceberg ahead.

Oh, no.

Yeah. Who's up for round two?

Tell the kid to be more careful.

Look, look. Tigers.

No, it's OK, it's OK. Look, the tigers are just playing tag with the antelope.

- With their teeth. - Come on, Sid, let's play tag.

You're it.

Sure. OK, OK, OK, where are the sloths?

You never see any sloths. Have you ever noticed?

- Look, Manny, a mammoth. - Somebody pinch me.

Hey, hey, this fat one looks just like you.

And he's got a family.

And he's happy. Look, he's playing with his kid.

See? That's your problem. That's what mammoths are supposed to do.

- Sid... - Find a she-mmoth, have baby mammoths...

- Sid. - What?

- Shut up. - But...

Would you look at that.

The tiger actually did it. There's Half Peak.

Next stop, Glacier Pass.

- How could I ever have doubted you? - Did you hear that, little fella?

You're almost home.

- My feet are sweating. - Do we need a news flash

- every time your body does something? - Ignore him.

Seriously. My feet are really hot.

Tell me that was your stomach.

I'm sure it was just thunder.

From underground?

Come on, keep up with me.

I would if you were moving.

- I wish I could jump like that. - Wish granted.

- Come on, move faster. - Have you noticed the river of lava?

Hold Pinky.

Manny.

Manny, Manny, Manny, you OK? Come on, come on, say something. Anything.

What? What? I can't hear you.

You're standing on my trunk.

- You're OK. You're OK. - Why did you do that?

You could have died, trying to save me.

That's what you do in a herd.

You look out for each other.

Well, thanks.

I don't know about you guys, but we are the weirdest herd I've ever seen.

I can't wait to get my claws in that mammoth.

No one touches the mammoth until I get that baby.

First, I'll slice its hindquarters into sections.

- I'll put the white meat in one pile and... - Knock it off. I'm starving.

Next, the shoulders. Occasionally tough, but extremely juicy.

- I told you to knock it off. - Save your energy.

Mammoths don't go down easy.

There's only one way to do it.

First, you have to force it into a corner.

Cut off its retreat. And when you three have it trapped,

I'll go for the throat.

Guys, we gotta get this kid outta the wind.

- How much further? - Three miles.

I'm beat. We'll get there in the morning.

- What are you doin'? - I'm putting sloths on the map.

Why don't you make it realistic and draw him lying down?

And make him rounder.

- Perfect. - I forgot how to laugh.

I'm a genius.

From now on you'll have to refer to me as Sid, Lord of the Flame.

Lord of the Flame, your tail's on fire.

Thank you. From now on, I'm gonna call you Diego.

Lord of "Touch Me and You're Dead".

I'm just kiddin', you little knucklehead.

Lovebirds.

Look at this.

I don't believe it.

Come here, you little biped. Come here, you little wormy-worm.

Come to Uncle Sid.

No, no, no, no, no, no. This way. This way.

No, no, no. No, go to him.

Go to him.

OK.

Good job. Keep practicin'.

Look at that. Our little guy is growing up.

All right, come on. Sleep time, lumpy.

Look at that big pushover.

You know, Diego, I've never had a friend who would risk his life for me.

Yeah, Manny's... he's a good guy.

Yeah, he is.

Well, good night.

Let's get you all cleaned up. What's your daddy gonna say if you go back all stinky?

Let me just clean that up. That looks good. A little bit here.

- You clean up nice, little fella. - I think he's starting to look like me.

Diego, what do you think?

- Maybe we shouldn't do this. - Why not?

If we save him, he'll be a hunter. And who do you think he'll hunt?

Maybe because we save him, he won't hunt us.

Yeah, and maybe he'll grow fur and a long skinny neck and call you Mama.

- What's your problem? - Nothing. Let's go. I'm freezing my tail off.

Diego. You frozen back there?

- Get down. - What?

- Get down and follow me. - What's goin' on?

At the bottom of Half Peak, there's an ambush waiting for you.

- What? - What do you mean, "ambush"?

- You set us up. - It was my job.

- I was to get the baby, but then... - You brought us home for dinner.

- That's it. You're out of the herd. - I'm sorry.

No, you're not. Not yet.

- Listen, I can help you. - Stay close, Sid. We can fight our way out.

You can't. The pack's too strong. You have to trust me.

Trust you? Why in the world would we trust you?

Because I'm your only chance.

Hello, ladies.

- Look who decided to show up. - Diego, I was beginning to worry about you.

No need to worry. In about two minutes you'll be satisfying your taste for revenge.

Very nice.

I see the sloth. And he's got the baby.

Don't give away your positions until you see the mammoth. He's the one to surprise.

You want to maul something, don't you?

- I wanna maul. - Then what are you waiting for?

No, I said wait for the mammoth.

Backscratcher. Eat my powder!

Loop-de-loop.

Slalom! Slalom, baby!

Sorry, fellas. He got a little frostbite.

Get him.

Surprise!

OK, follow me. We'll pick up Sid and get outta here while we can.

Come on, Diego, let's bring this mammoth down.

There he is.

That's right. Where's the baby?

Survival of the fittest.

I don't think so. Yeah.

- What are you doing? - Leave the mammoth alone.

Fine. I'll take you down first.

We did it.

We were some team, huh?

Were? Come on, we're still a team.

I'm sorry I set you up.

You know me - I'm too lazy to hold a grudge.

Knock it off, squirt.

You gotta be strong.

You have to take care of Manfred and Sid.

Especially Sid.

Come on, you can lick this. You're a tiger.

Look, I'll carry you. Come on, what do you say?

Come on, Diego, come on.

Tell him he's going to be OK, Manny.

Listen, you have to leave me here.

If those humans get through the pass, you'll never catch them.

You didn't have to do that.

That's what you do in a herd.

Don't forget about us.

OK?

We won't forget about you.

Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

- Sid... - Bye.

Bye.

That's right. Where's the baby?

Come on, Sid, let's head south.

Bye.

Save your breath, Sid. You know humans can't talk.

Diego? You're OK.

- Nine lives, baby. - You're OK.

You're OK.

I could kiss ya.

Welcome back, partner. Wanna lift?

No thanks. I gotta save whatever dignity I've got left.

You're hanging out with us. Dignity's got nothing to do with it. I'll take that lift.

- Yeah, climb aboard. - Pick me up, buddy.

Mush. Or not mush. Either way.

This is gonna be the best migration ever.

I'll show you my favorite watering holes. I turn brown when the fungus in my fur dries.

- Attractive. - This whole Ice age thing is getting old.

You know what I could go for? Global warming.

- Keep dreamin'. - No, really...

Special help by SergeiK

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The Godfather
INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

The PARAMOUNT Logo is presented austerely over a black
background. There is a moment's hesitation, and then the
simple words in white lettering:

THE GODFATHER

While this remains, we hear: "I believe in America."
Suddenly we are watching in CLOSE VIEW, AMERIGO BONASERA, a
man of sixty, dressed in a black suit, on the verge of great
emotion.

BONASERA
America has made my fortune.

As he speaks, THE VIEW imperceptibly begins to loosen.

BONASERA
I raised my daughter in the American
fashion; I gave her freedom, but
taught her never to dishonor her
family. She found a boy friend,
not an Italian. She went to the
movies with him, stayed out late.
Two months ago he took her for a
drive, with another boy friend.
They made her drink whiskey and
then they tried to take advantage
of her. She resisted; she kept her
honor. So they beat her like an
animal. When I went to the hospital
her nose was broken, her jaw was
shattered and held together by
wire, and she could not even weep
because of the pain.

He can barely speak; he is weeping now.

BONASERA
I went to the Police like a good
American. These two boys were
arrested and brought to trial. The
judge sentenced them to three years
in prison, and suspended the
sentence. Suspended sentence!
They went free that very day. I
stood in the courtroom like a fool,
and those bastards, they smiled at
me. Then I said to my wife, for
Justice, we must go to The Godfather.

By now, THE VIEW is full, and we see Don Corleone's office
in his home.

The blinds are closed, and so the room is dark, and with
patterned shadows. We are watching BONASERA over the
shoulder of DON CORLEONE. TOM HAGEN sits near a small
table, examining some paperwork, and SONNY CORLEONE stands
impatiently by the window nearest his father, sipping from a
glass of wine. We can HEAR music, and the laughter and
voices of many people outside.

DON CORLEONE
Bonasera, we know each other for
years, but this is the first time
you come to me for help. I don't
remember the last time you invited
me to your house for coffee...even
though our wives are friends.

BONASERA
What do you want of me? I'll give
you anything you want, but do what
I ask!

DON CORLEONE
And what is that Bonasera?

BONASERA whispers into the DON's ear.

DON CORLEONE
No. You ask for too much.

BONASERA
I ask for Justice.

DON CORLEONE
The Court gave you justice.

BONASERA
An eye for an eye!

DON CORLEONE
But your daughter is still alive.

BONASERA
Then make them suffer as she
suffers. How much shall I pay you.

Both HAGEN and SONNY react.

DON CORLEONE
You never think to protect yourself
with real friends. You think it's
enough to be an American. All
right, the Police protects you,
there are Courts of Law, so you
don't need a friend like me.
But now you come to me and say Don
Corleone, you must give me justice.
And you don't ask in respect or
friendship. And you don't think to
call me Godfather; instead you come
to my house on the day my daughter
is to be married and you ask me to
do murder...for money.

BONASERA
America has been good to me...

DON CORLEONE
Then take the justice from the
judge, the bitter with the sweet,
Bonasera. But if you come to me
with your friendship, your loyalty,
then your enemies become my enemies,
and then, believe me, they would
fear you...

Slowly, Bonasera bows his head and murmurs.

BONASERA
Be my friend.

DON CORLEONE
Good. From me you'll get Justice.

BONASERA
Godfather.

DON CORLEONE
Some day, and that day may never
come, I would like to call upon you
to do me a service in return.

EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945)

A HIGH ANGLE of the CORLEONE MALL in bright daylight. There
are at least five hundred guests filling the main courtyard
and gardens. There is music and laughing and dancing and
countless tables covered with food and wine.

DON CORLEONE stands at the Gate, flanked on either side by a
son: FREDO and SONNY, all dressed in the formal attire of
the wedding party. He warmly shakes the hands, squeezes the
hands of the friends and guests, pinches the cheeks of the
children, and makes them all welcome. They in turn carry
with them gallons of homemade wine, cartons of freshly baked
bread and pastries, and enormous trays of Italian delicacies.

The entire family poses for a family portrait: DON CORLEONE,
MAMA, SONNY, his wife, SANDRA, and their children, TOM HAGEN
and his wife, THERESA, and their BABY; CONSTANZIA, the
bride, and her bridegroom, CARLO RIZZI. As they move into
the pose, THE DON seems preoccupied.

DON CORLEONE
Where's Michael?

SONNY
He'll be here Pop, it's still early.

DON CORLEONE
Then the picture will wait for him.

Everyone in the group feels the uneasiness as the DON moves
back to the house. SONNY gives a delicious smile in the
direction of the Maid-of-Honor, LUCY MANCINI. She returns
it. Then he moves to his wife.

SONNY
Sandra, watch the kids. They're
running wild.

SANDRA
You watch yourself.

HAGEN kisses his WIFE, and follows THE DON, passing the wine
barrels, where a group of FOUR MEN nervously wait. TOM
crooks a finger at NAZORINE, who doublechecks that he is
next, straightens, and follows HAGEN.

EXT DAY: MALL ENTRANCE (SUMMER 1945)

Outside the main gate of the Mall, SEVERAL MEN in suits,
working together with a MAN in a dark sedan, walk in and out
of the rows of parked cars, writing license plate numbers
down in their notebooks. We HEAR the music and laughter
coming from the party in the distance.

A MAN stops at a limousine and copies down the number.

BARZINI, dignified in a black homburg, is always under the
watchful eyes of TWO BODYGUARDS as he makes his way to
embrace DON CORLEONE in the courtyard.

The MEN walk down another row of parked cars. Put another
number in the notebook. A shiney new Cadillac with wooden
bumpers.

PETER CLEMENZA, dancing the Tarantella joyously, bumping
bellies with the ladies.

CLEMENZA
Paulie...wine...WINE.

He mops his sweating forehead with a big handkerchief.
PAULIE hustles, gets a glass of icy black wine, and brings
it to him.

PAULIE
You look terrif on the floor!

CLEMENZA
What are you, a dance judge? Go do
your job; take a walk around the
neighborhood... see everything is
okay.

PAULIE nods and leaves; CLEMENZA takes a breath, and leaps
back into the dance.

The MEN walk down another row of parked cars. Put another
number in the notebook.

TESSIO, a tall, gentle-looking man, dances with a NINE-YEAR-
OLD GIRL, her little black party shoes planted on his
enormous brown shoes.

The MEN move on to other parked cars, when SONNY storms out
of the gate, his face flushed with anger, followed by
CLEMENZA and PAULIE.

SONNY
Buddy, this is a private party.

The MAN doesn't answer, but points to the DRIVER of the
sedan. SONNY menacingly thrusts his reddened face at him.
The DRIVER merely flips open his wallet to a greed card,
without saying a word. SONNY steps back, spits on the
ground, turns, and walks away, followed by CLEMENZA, PAULIE,
and another TWO MEN. He doesn't say a thing for most of the
walk back into the courtyard, and then, muttered to PAULIE.

SONNY
Goddamn FBI...don't respect nothing.

INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

DON CORLEONE sits quietly behind his massive desk in the
dark study.

NAZORINE
...a fine boy from Sicily, captured
by the American Army, and sent to
New Jersey as a prisoner of war...

DON CORLEONE
Nazorine, my friend, tell me what I
can do.

NAZORINE
Now that the war is over, Enzo,
this boy is being repatriated to
Italy. And you see, Godfather...
(he wrings his hands,
unable to express himself)
He...my daughter...they...

DON CORLEONE
You want him to stay in this country.

NAZORINE
Godfather, you understand everything.

DON CORLEONE
Tom, what we need is an Act of
Congress to allow Enzo to become a
citizen.

NAZORINE
(impressed)
An Act of Congress!

HAGEN
(nodding)
It will cost.

The DON shrugs; such are the way with those things; NAZORINE
nods.

NAZORINE
Is that all? Godfather, thank
you...
(backing out, enthusiastically)
Oh, wait till you see the cake I
made for your beautiful daughter!

NAZORINE backs out, all smiles, and nods to the GODFATHER.
DON CORLEONE rises and moves to the Venetian blinds.

HAGEN
Who do I give this job to?

The DON moves to the windows, peeking out through the blinds.

DON CORLEONE
Not to one of our paisans...give it
to a Jew Congressman in another
district. Who else is on the list
for today?

The DON is peeking out to the MEN around the barrel, waiting
to see him.

HAGEN
Francesco Nippi. His nephew has
been refused parole. A bad case.

EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945)

WHAT HE SEES:

NIPPI waits nervously by the barrel.

HAGEN (O.S.)
His father worked with you in the
freight yards when you were young.

LUCA BRASI sitting alone, grotesque and quiet.

HAGEN (O.S.)
He's not on the list, but Luca
Brasi wants to see you.

INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

The DON turns to HAGEN.

DON CORLEONE
Is it necessary?

HAGEN
You understand him better than
anyone.

The DON nods to this. Turns back to the blinds and peeks out.

EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945)

WHAT HE SEES:

MICHAEL CORLEONE, dressed in the uniform of a Marine Captain,
leads KAY ADAMS through the wedding crowd, occasionally
stopped and greeted by FRIENDS of the family.

INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

The DON, inside the office, peering through the blinds,
following them.

EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945)

MICHAEL moves through the crowd, embraces MAMA and introduces
her to his GIRL.

EXT DAY: OFFICE WINDOW (SUMMER 1945)

The DON's eyes peering through the blinds.

EXT DAY: MALL TABLES (SUMMER 1945)

KAY and MICHAEL settle by a table on the edge of the wedding,
burdened down with plates of food and glasses and wine. She
is exhilarated by the enormity of the affair, the music and
the vitality.

KAY
I've never seen anything like it.

MICHAEL
I told you I had a lot of relatives.

KAY looking about, a young and lively thing in a gift shop.
We see what she sees:

Her interest is caught by THREE MEN standing by the wine
barrels.

KAY
(amused)
Michael, what are those men doing?

MICHAEL
They're waiting to see my father.

KAY
They're talking to themselves.

MICHAEL
They're going to talk to my father,
which means they're going to ask
him for something, which means they
better get it right.

KAY
Why do they bother him on a day
like this?

MICHAEL
Because they know that no Sicilian
will refuse a request on his
daughter's wedding day.

EXT DAY: WEDDING PARTY (SUMMER 1945)

CONNIE CORLEONE, the Bride, is pressing the bodice of her
overly-fluffy white gown against the groom, CARLO RIZZI. He
is bronzed, with curly blondish hair and lovely dimples.
She absolutely adores him and can barely take her eyes from
him long enough to thank the various GUESTS for the white
envelopes they are putting into the large white purse she
holds. In fact, if we watch carefully, we can see that one
of her hands is slid under his jacket, and into his shirt,
where she is provocatively rubbing the hair on his chest.
CARLO, on the other hand, has his blue eyes trained on the
bulging envelopes, and is trying to guess how much cash the
things hold.

Discreetly, he moves her hand off of his skin.

CARLO
(whispered)
Cut it out, Connie.

The purse, looped by a ribbon of silk around CONNIE's arm,
is fat with money.

PAULIE (O.S.)
What do you think? Twenty grand?

A little distance away, a young man, PAULIE GATTO, catches a
prosciutto sandwich thrown by a friend, without once taking
eyes from the purse.

PAULIE
Who knows? Maybe more. Twenty,
thirty grand in small bills cash in
that silk purse. Holy Toledo, if
this was somebody else's wedding!

SONNY is sitting at the Wedding Dias, talking to LUCY
MANCINI, the Maid of Honor. Every once in a while he
glances across the courtyard, where his WIFE is talking with
some WOMEN.

He bends over and whispers something into LUCY's ear.

SANDRA and the WOMEN are in the middle of a big, ribald laugh.

WOMAN
Is it true what they say about your
husband, Sandra?

SANDRA's hands separate with expanding width further and
further apart until she bursts into a peal of laughter.
Through her separated hands she sees the Wedding Dais.
SONNY and LUCY are gone.

INT DAY: DON'S HALL & STAIRS (SUMMER 1945)

The empty hallway. The bathroom door opens and LUCY
surreptitiously steps out.

She looks up where SONNY is standing on the second landing,
motioning for her to come up.

She lifts her petticoats off the ground and hurries upstairs.

EXT DAY: MALL TABLES (SUMMER 1945)

KAY and MICHAEL.

KAY
(in a spooky low tone)
Michael, that scarey guy...Is he a
relative?

She has picked out LUCA BRASI.

MICHAEL
No. His name is Luca Brasi. You
wouldn't like him.

KAY
(Excited)
Who is he?

MICHAEL
(Sizing her up)
You really want to know?

KAY
Yes. Tell me.

MICHAEL
You like spaghetti?

KAY
You know I love spaghetti.

MICHAEL
Then eat your spaghetti and I'll
tell you a Luca Brasi story.

She starts to eat her spaghetti.

She begins eating, looking at him eagerly.

MICHAEL
Once upon a time, about fifteen
years ago some people wanted to
take over my father's olive oil
business. They had Al Capone send
some men in from Chicago to kill my
father, and they almost did.

KAY
Al Capone!

MICHAEL
My Father sent Luca Brasi after
them. He tied the two Capone men
hand and foot, and stuffed small
bath towels into their mouths.
Then he took an ax, and chopped one
man's feet off...

KAY
Michael...

MICHAEL
Then the legs at the knees...

KAY
Michael you're trying to scare me...

MICHAEL
Then the thighs where they joined
the torso.

KAY
Michael, I don't want to hear
anymore...

MICHAEL
Then Luca turned to the other man...

KAY
Michael, I love you.

MICHAEL
...who out of sheer terror had
swallowed the bath towel in his
mouth and suffocated.

The smile on his face seems to indicate that he is telling a
tall story.

KAY
I never know when you're telling me
the truth.

MICHAEL
I told you you wouldn't like him.

KAY
He's coming over here!

LUCA comes toward them to meet TOM HAGEN halfway, just near
their table.

MICHAEL
Tom...Tom, I'd like you to meet Kay
Adams.

KAY
(having survived LUCA)
How do you do.

MICHAEL
My brother, Tom Hagen.

HAGEN
Hello Kay. Your father's inside,
doing some business.
(privately)
He's been asking for you.

MICHAEL
Thanks Tom.

HAGEN smiles and moves back to the house, LUCA ominously
following.

KAY
If he's your brother, why does he
have a different name?

MICHAEL
My brother Sonny found him living
in the streets when he was a kid,
so my father took him in. He's a
good lawyer.

INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

DON CORLEONE at the window. He has seen the intimacy of the
YOUNG COUPLE.

LUCA (O.S.)
Don Corleone...

THE DON turns to the stiffly formal LUCA, and he moves
forward to kiss his hand. He takes the envelope from his
jacket, holds it out, but does not release it until he makes
a formal speech.

LUCA
(with difficulty)
Don Corleone...I am honored, and
grateful...that you invited me to
your home...on the wedding day of
your...daughter.
May their first child...be a
masculine child. I pledge my never
ending loyalty.
(he offers the envelope)
For your daughter's bridal purse.

DON CORLEONE
Thank you, Luca, my most valued
friend.

THE DON takes it, and then LUCA's hand, which he squeezes so
tightly we might imagine it to be painful.

LUCA
Let me leave you, Don Corleone. I
know you are busy.

He turns, almost an about-face, and leaves the study with
the same formality he entered with. DON CORLEONE breathes
more easily, and gives the thick envelope to HAGEN.

DON CORLEONE
I'm sure it's the most generous
gift today.

HAGEN
The Senator called--apologized for
not coming personally, but said
you'd understand. Also, some of
the Judges...they've all sent gifts.
And another call from Virgil
Sollozzo.

DON CORLEONE is not pleased.

HAGEN
The action is narcotics. Sollozzo
has contacts in Turkey for the
poppy, in Sicily for the plants to
process down to morphine or up to
heroin. Also he has access to this
country. He's coming to us for
financial help, and some sort of
immunity from the law. For that we
get a piece of the action, I
couldn't find out how much.
Sollozzo is vouched for by the
Tattaglia family, and they may have
a piece of the action. They call
Sollozzo the Turk.
He's spent a lot of time in Turkey
and is suppose to have a Turkish
wife and kids. He's suppose to be
very quick with the knife, or was,
when he was younger. Only in
matters of business and with some
reasonable complaint. Also he has
an American wife and three children
and he is a good family man.

THE DON nods.

HAGEN
He's his own boss, and very
competent.

DON CORLEONE
And with prison record.

HAGEN
Two terms; one in Italy, one in the
United States. He's known to the
Government as a top narcotics man.
That could be a plus for us; he
could never get immunity to testify.

DON CORLEONE
When did he call?

HAGEN
This morning.

DON CORLEONE
On a day like this. Consiglero, do
you also have in your notes the the
Turk made his living from
Prostitution before the war, like
the Tattaglias do now. Write that
down before you forget it. The
Turk will wait.

We now begin to hear a song coming over the loud-speakers
from outside. In Italian, with unmistakable style.

DON CORLEONE
What that? It sounds like Johnny.

He moves to the window, pulls the blinds up, flooding the
room with light.

DON CORLEONE
It is Johnny. He came all the way
from California to be at the wedding.

HAGEN
Should I bring him in.

DON CORLEONE
No. Let the people enjoy him. You
see? He is a good godson.

HAGEN
It's been two years. He's probably
in trouble again.

EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945)

JOHNNY FONTANE on the bandstand, singing to the delight and
excitement of the wedding GUESTS.

KAY
I didn't know your family knew
Johnny Fontane.

MICHAEL
Sure.

KAY
I used to come down to New York
whenever he sang at the Capitol and
scream my head off.

MICHAEL
He's my father's godson; he owes
him his whole career.

JOHNNY finishes the song and the CROWD screams with delight.
They call out for another when DON CORLEONE appears.

DON CORLEONE
My Godson has come three thousand
miles to do us honor and no one
thinks to wet his throat.

At once a dozen wine glasses are offered to JOHNNY, who
takes a sip from each as he moves to embrace his GODFATHER.

JOHNNY
I kept trying to call you after my
divorce and Tom always said you
were busy. When I got the Wedding
invitation I knew you weren't sore
at me anymore, Godfather.

DON CORLEONE
Can I do something for you still?
You're not too rich, or too famous
that I can't help you?

JOHNNY
I'm not rich anymore, Godfather,
and...my career, I'm almost washed
up...

He's very disturbed. The GODFATHER indicates that he come
with him to the office so no one will notice. He turns to
HAGEN.

DON CORLEONE
Tell Santino to come in with us.
He should hear some things.

They go, leaving HAGEN scanning the party looking for SONNY.

INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

HAGEN glances up the staircase.

HAGEN
Sonny?

Then he goes up.

INT DAY: DON'S UPSTAIRS ROOM (SUMMER 1945)

SONNY and LUCY are in a room upstairs; he has lifted her
gown's skirts almost over her head, and has her standing
against the door. Her face peeks out from the layers of
petticoats around it like a flower in ecstasy.

LUCY
Sonnyeeeeeeee.

Her head bouncing against the door with the rhythm of his
body. But there is a knocking as well. They stop, freeze
in that position.

HAGEN (O.S.)
Sonny? Sonny, you in there?

INT DAY: DON'S UPSTAIRS HALLWAY (SUMMER 1945)

Outside, HAGEN by the door.

HAGEN
The old man wants you; Johnny's
here...he's got a problem.

SONNY (O.S.)
Okay. One minute.

HAGEN hesitates. We HEAR LUCY's head bouncing against the
door again. TOM leaves.

INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

DON CORLEONE
ACT LIKE A MAN! By Christ in
Heaven, is it possible you turned
out no better than a Hollywood
finocchio.

Both HAGEN and JOHNNY cannot refrain from laughing. The DON
smiles. SONNY enters as noiselessly as possible, still
adjusting his clothes.

DON CORLEONE
All right, Hollywood...Now tell me
about this Hollywood Pezzonovanta
who won't let you work.

JOHNNY
He owns the studio. Just a month
ago he bought the movie rights to
this book, a best seller. And the
main character is a guy just like
me. I wouldn't even have to act,
just be myself.

The DON is silent, stern.

DON CORLEONE
You take care of your family?

JOHNNY
Sure.

He glances at SONNY, who makes himself as inconspicuous as
he can.

DON CORLEONE
You look terrible. I want you to
eat well, to rest. And spend time
with your family. And then, at the
end of the month, this big shot
will give you the part you want.

JOHNNY
It's too late. All the contracts
have been signed, they're almost
ready to shoot.

DON CORLEONE
I'll make him an offer he can't
refuse.

He takes JOHNNY to the door, pinching his cheek hard enough
to hurt.

DON CORLEONE
Now go back to the party and leave
it to me.

He closes the door, smiling to himself. Turns to HAGEN.

DON CORLEONE
When does my daughter leave with
her bridegroom?

HAGEN
They'll cut the cake in a few
minutes...leave right after that.
Your new son-in-law, do we give him
something important?

DON CORLEONE
No, give him a living. But never
let him know the family's business.
What else, Tom?

HAGEN
I've called the hospital; they've
notified Consiglere Genco's family
to come and wait. He won't last
out the night.

This saddens the DON. He sighs.

DON CORLEONE
Genco will wait for me. Santino,
tell your brothers they will come
with me to the hospital to see
Genco. Tell Fredo to drive the big
car, and ask Johnny to come with us.

SONNY
And Michael?

DON CORLEONE
All my sons.
(to HAGEN)
Tom, I want you to go to California
tonight. Make the arrangements.
But don't leave until I come back
from the hospital and speak to you.
Understood?

HAGEN
Understood.

EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945)

Now all the wedding GUESTS excitedly clap their hands over
the entrance of the cake: NAZORINE is beaming as he wheels
in a serving table containing the biggest, gaudiest, most
extravagant wedding cake ever baked, an incredible monument
of his gratitude. The CROWD is favorably impressed: they
begin to clink their knives or forks against their glasses,
in the traditional request for the Bride to cut the cake and
kiss the Groom. Louder and louder, five hundred forks
hitting five hundred glasses.

EXT DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945)

Silence.

HIGH ANGLE ON THE MALL, late day. The GUESTS are gone. A
single black car is in the courtyard. FREDDIE is behind the
driver's seat: the DON enters the car, looks at MICHAEL, who
sits between SONNY and JOHNNY in the rear seat.

DON CORLEONE
Will your girl friend get back to
the city all right?

MICHAEL
Tom said he'd take care of it.

The DON pulls the door shut; and the car pulls out, through
the gate of the great Corleone Mall.

INT DAY: HOSPITAL CORRIDOR (SUMMER 1945)

A long white hospital corridor, at the end of which we can
see a grouping of FIVE WOMEN, some old and some young, but
all plump and dressed in black.

DON CORLEONE and his SONS move toward the end. But then the
DON slows, putting his hand on MICHAEL's shoulder. MICHAEL
stops and turns toward his FATHER. The two looks at one
another for some time. SILENCE. DON CORLEONE then lifts
his hand, and slowly touches a particular medal on MICHAEL's
uniform.

DON CORLEONE
What was this for?

MICHAEL
For bravery.

DON CORLEONE
And this?

MICHAEL
For killing a man.

DON CORLEONE
What miracles you do for strangers.

MICHAEL
I fought for my country. It was my
choice.

DON CORLEONE
And now, what do you choose to do?

MICHAEL
I'm going to finish school.

DON CORLEONE
Good. When you are finished, come
and talk to me. I have hopes for
you.

Again they regard each other without a word. MICHAEL turns,
and continues on. DON CORLEONE watches a moment, and then
follows.

INT DAY: HOSPITAL ROOM (SUMMER 1945)

DON CORLEONE enters the hospital room, moving closest to OUR
VIEW. He is followed by his SONS, JOHNNY and the WOMEN.

DON CORLEONE
(whispered)
Genco, I've brought my sons to pay
their respects. And look, even
Johnny Fontane, all the way from
Hollywood.

GENCO is a tiny, wasted skeleton of a man. DON CORLEONE
takes his bony hand, as the others arrange themselves around
his bed, each clasping the other hand in turn.

GENCO
Godfather, Godfather, it's your
daughter's wedding day, you cannot
refuse me. Cure me, you have the
power.

DON CORLEONE
I have no such power...but Genco,
don't fear death.

GENCO
(with a sly wink)
It's been arranged, then?

DON CORLEONE
You blaspheme. Resign yourself.

GENCO
You need your old Consigliere. Who
will replace me?
(suddenly)
Stay with me Godfather. Help me
meet death. If he sees you, he
will be frightened and leave me in
peace. You can say a word, pull a
few strings, eh? We'll outwit that
bastard as we outwitted all those
others.
(clutching his hand)
Godfather, don't betray me.

The DON motions all the others to leave the room. They do.
He returns his attention to GENCO, holding his hand and
whispering things we cannot hear, as they wait for death.

INT NIGHT: AIRPLANE (SUMMER 1945)

FADE IN:

The interior of a non-stop Constellation. HAGEN is one of
the very few passengers on this late flight. He looks like
any young lawyer on a business trip. He is tired from the
difficult preparation and duties that he has just executed
during the wedding. On the seat next to him is an enormous,
bulging briefcase. He closes his eyes.

INT NIGHT: HONEYMOON HOTEL (SUMMER 1945)

The honeymoon hotel: CARLO and CONNIE. CARLO is in his
undershorts, sitting up on the bed, anxiously taking the
envelopes out of the silk bridal purse and counting the
contents. CONNIE prepares herself in the large marble
bathroom. She rubs her hands over his bronze shoulders, and
tries to get his interest.

INT NIGHT: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

DON CORLEONE in his office. LUCA BRASI sitting near to him.

DON CORLEONE
Luca, I am worried about this man
Sollozzo. Find out what you can,
through the Tattaglias. Let them
believe you could be tempted away
from the Corleone Family, if the
right offer was made. Learn what
he has under his fingernails...

INT NIGHT: MANCINI APT. HALL (SUMMER 1945)

The hallway of an apartment building. SONNY enters, climbs
two steps at a time. He knocks, and then whispers.

SONNY
It's me, Sonny.

The door opens, and two lovely arms are around him, pulling
him into the apartment.

INT NIGHT: LUCA'S ROOM (WINTER 1945)

LUCA BRASI's tiny room. He is partly dressed. He kneels
and reaches under his bed and pulls out a small, locked
trunk. He opens it, and takes out a heavy, bullet-proof
vest. He puts it on, over his wool undershirt, and then
puts on his shirt and jacket. He takes his gun, quickly
disassembles, checks, and reassembles it. And leaves.

INT NIGHT: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

A CLOSE VIEW of DON CORLEONE thinking quietly.

INT NIGHT: MOVING TRAIN (SUMMER 1945)

MICHAEL and KAY on a train, speeding on their way to New
Hampshire.

INT NIGHT: SUBWAY (WINTER 1945)

LUCA, in his bulky jacket, sitting quietly on an empty
subway train.

INT NIGHT: AIRPLANE (SUMMER 1945)

HAGEN on the Constellation. He reaches into his briefcase,
and takes out several pictures and papers.

One photograph is of a smiling man, JACK WOLTZ, linked arm
in arm with fifteen movie stars on either side, including a
lovely young child star to his immediate right.

HAGEN considers other papers.

INT NIGHT: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

DON CORLEONE looks, and then moves HAGEN into an embrace.
He straightens his arms and looks at TOM deeply.

DON CORLEONE
Remember my new Consigliere, a
lawyer with his briefcase can steal
more than a hundred men with guns.

EXT DAY: WOLTZ ESTATE GATE (SUMMER 1945)

JACK WOLTZ ESTATE. HAGEN stands before the impressive gate,
armed only with his briefcase. A GATEMAN opens the gate,
and TOM enters.

EXT DAY: WOLTZ GARDENS (SUMMER 1945)

HAGEN and WOLTZ comfortably stroll along beautiful formal
gardens, martinis in hand.

WOLTZ
You should have told me your boss
was Corleone, Tom, I had to check
you out. I thought you were just
some third rate hustler Johnny was
running in to bluff me.
(a piece of statuary)
Florence, thirteenth century.
Decorated the garden of a king.

They cross the garden and head toward the stables.

WOLTZ
I'm going to show you something
beautiful.

They pass the stables, and come to rest by a stall with a
huge bronze plaque attached to the outside wall: "KHARTOUM."
TWO SECURITY GUARDS are positioned in chairs nearby; they
rise as WOLTZ approaches.

WOLTZ
You like horses? I like horses, I
love 'em. Beautiful, expensive
Racehorses.

The animal inside is truly beautiful. WOLTZ whispers to him
with true love in his voice.

WOLTZ
Khartoum...Kartoum...You are
looking at six hundred thousand
dollars on four hoofs. I bet even
Russian Czars never paid that kind
of dough for a single horse. But
I'm not going to race him I'm going
to put him out to Stud.

INT NIGHT: WOLTZ DINING ROOM (SUMMER 1945)

HAGEN and WOLTZ sit at an enormous dining room table,
attended by SEVERAL SERVANTS. Great paintings hang on the
walls. The meal is elaborate and sumptuous.

HAGEN
Mr. Corleone is Johnny's Godfather.
That is very close, a very sacred
religious relationship.

WOLTZ
Okay, but just tell him this is one
favor I can't give. But he should
try me again on anything else.

HAGEN
He never asks a second favor when
he has been refused the first.
Understood?

WOLTZ
You smooth son of a bitch, let me
lay it on the line for you, and
your boss. Johnny Fontane never
gets that movie. I don't care how
many Dago, Guinea, wop Greaseball
Goombahs come out of the woodwork!

HAGEN
I'm German-Irish.

WOLTZ
Okay my Kraut-Mick friend, Johnny
will never get that part because I
hate that pinko punk and I'm going
to run him out of the Movies. And
I'll tell you why. He ruined one
of Woltz Brothers' most valuable
proteges. For five years I had
this girl under training; singing
lessons! Acting lessons! Dancing
lessons! We spent hundreds of
thousands of dollars--I was going
to make her a star. I'll be even
more frank, just to show you that
I'm not a hard-hearted man, that it
wasn't all dollars and cents. That
girl was beautiful and young and
innocent and she was the greatest
piece of ass I've ever ad and I've
had them all over the world. Then
Johnny comes along with that olive
oil voice and guinea charm and she
runs off. She threw it all away to
make me look ridiculous. A MAN IN
MY POSITION CANNOT AFFORD TO BE
MADE TO LOOK RIDICULOUS!

EXT DAY: GENCO OLIVE OIL CO. (SUMMER 1945)

An unimposing little building in New York City on Mott
Street with a large old sign: "GENCO OLIVE OIL IMPORTS,
INC." next to an open-faced fruit market.

A dark Buick pulls up, and a single small man, whom we
cannot see well because of the distance, gets out and enters
the building. This is VIRGIL SOLLOZZO.

INT DAY: OLIVE OIL OFFICES (SUMMER 1945)

Looking toward the staircase we can hear SOLLOZZO's footsteps
before he actually rises into view. He is a small man, very
dark, with curly black hair. But wiry, and tight and hard,
and obviously very dangerous. He is greeted at the head of
the stairs by SONNY, who takes his hand and shakes it,
introducing himself. For a moment, there is a complex of
handshaking quite formal, and whispered respectful
introductions. Finally, SOLLOZZO is taken into the DON's
glass paneled office; the two principals are introduced.
They are very respectful of one another. Folding chairs are
brought in by FREDDIE, and soon they are all sitting around
in a circle; the DON, SOLLOZZO, SONNY, HAGEN, FREDDIE,
CLEMENZA and TESSIO. The DON is the slightest bit foolish
with all his compatriots, whereas SOLLOZZO has brought no
one. Throughout all that transpires, however, it is clear
that this scene is between two men: SOLLOZZO and DON CORLEONE.

SOLLOZZO
My business is heroin, I have poppy
fields, laboratories in Narseilles
and Sicily, ready to go into
production. My importing methods
are as safe as these things can be,
about five per cent loss. The risk
is nothing, the profits enormous.

DON CORLEONE
Why do you come to me? Why do I
deserve your generosity?

SOLLOZZO
I need two million dollars in
cash...more important, I need a
friend who has people in high
places; a friend who can guarantee
that if one of my employees be
arrested, they would get only light
sentences. Be my friend.

DON CORLEONE
What percentages for my family?

SOLLOZZO
Thirty per cent. In the first year
your share would be four million
dollars; then it would go up.

DON CORLEONE
And what is the percentage of the
Tattaglia family?

SOLLOZZO nods toward HAGEN.

SOLLOZZO
My compliments. I'll take care of
them from my share.

DON CORLEONE
So. I receive 30 per cent just for
finance and legal protection. No
worries about operations, is that
what you tell me?

SOLLOZZO
If you think two million dollars in
cash is just finance, I congratulate
you Don Corleone.

There is a long silence; in which each person present feels
the tension. The DON is about to give his answer.

DON CORLEONE
I said I would see you because I've
heard you're a serious man, to be
treated with respect...
(pause)
But I'll say no to you.

We feel this around the room.

DON CORLEONE
I'll give you my reasons. I have
many, many friends in Politics.
But they wouldn't be so friendly if
my business was narcotics instead
of gambling. They think gambling
is something like liquor, a harmless
vice...and they think narcotics is
dirty business.

SOLLOZZO takes a breath.

DON CORLEONE
No...how a man makes his living is
none of my business. But this
proposition of yours is too risky.
All the people in my family lived
well the last ten years, I won't
risk that out of greed.

SOLLOZZO
Are you worried about security for
your million?

DON CORLEONE
No.

SOLLOZZO
The Tattaglias will guarantee your
investment also.

This startles SONNY; he blurts out.

SONNY
The Tattaglia family guarantees our
investment?

SOLLOZZO hears him first, and then very slowly turns to face
him. Everyone is the room knows that SONNY has stepped out
of line.

DON CORLEONE
Young people are greedy, and they
have no manners. They speak when
they should listen. But I have a
sentimental weakness for my
children, and I've spoiled them, as
you see. But Signor Sollozzo, my
no is final.

SOLLOZZO nods, understands that this is the dismissal. He
glances one last time at SONNY. He rises; all the others do
as well. He bows to the DON, shakes his hand, and formally
takes his leave. When the footsteps can no longer be heard:

The DON turns to SONNY.

DON CORLEONE
Santino, never let anyone outside
the family know what you are
thinking. I think your brain is
going soft from all that comedy you
play with that young girl.

TWO OFFICE WORKERS are carrying an enormous floral display
with the word "THANK YOU" spelled out in flowers.

DON CORLEONE
What is this nonsense?

HAGEN
It's from Johnny. It was announced
this morning. He's going to play
the lead in the new Woltz Brothers
film.

INT DAY: WOLTZ'S BEDROOM (SUMMER 1945)

It is large, dominated by a huge bed, in which a man,
presumably WOLTZ, is sleeping. Soft light bathes the room
from the large windows. We move closer to him until we see
his face, and recognize JACK WOLTZ. He turns uncomfortably;
mutters, feels something strange in his bedsheets. Something
wet.

He wakens, feels the sheets with displeasure; they are wet.
He looks at his hand; the wetness is blood. He is
frightened, pulls aside the covers, and sees fresh blood on
his sheets and pajamas. He grunts, pulls the puddle of
blood in his bed. He feels his own body frantically,
moving, down, following the blood, until he is face to face
with the great severed head of Khartoum lying at the foot of
his bed. Just blood from the hacked neck. White reedy
tendons show. He struggles up to his elbows in the puddle
of blood to see more clearly. Froth covers the muzzle, and
the enormous eyes of the animal are yellowed and covered
with blood.

WOLTZ tries to scream; but cannot. No sound comes out.
Then, finally and suddenly an ear-splitting scream of pure
terror escapes from WOLTZ, who is rocking on his hands and
knees in an uncontrolled fit, blood all over him.

INT DAY: OLIVE OIL OFFICES (SUMMER 1945)

CLOSE VIEW on the GODFATHER. Nodding.

DON CORLEONE
Send Johnny my congratulations.

----------------------------------------FADE OUT--------

(SCENES 12 & 12 OMITTED)

FADE IN:

EXT DAY: FIFTH AVENUE (WINTER 1945)

Fifth Avenue in the snow. Christmas week. People are
bundled up with rosy faces, rushing to buy presents.

KAY and MICHAEL exit a Fifth Avenue department store,
carrying a stack of gaily wrapped gifts, arm in arm.

KAY
We have something for your mother,
for Sonny, we have the tie for
Fredo and Tom Hagen gets the
Reynolds pen...

MICHAEL
And what do you want for Christmas?

KAY
Just you.

They kiss.

INT DAY: HOTEL ROOM (WINTER 1945)

CLOSE ON a wooden radio, playing quiet Music. THE VIEW PANS
AROUND the dark hotel room, curtained against the daylight.

MICHAEL (O.S.)
We'll have a quiet, civil ceremony
at the City Hall, no big fuss, no
family, just a couple of friends as
witnesses.

The two are in each other's arms in a mess of bedsheets on
the two single beds that they have pushed together.

KAY
What will your father say?

MICHAEL
As long as I tell him beforehand he
won't object. He'll be hurt, but
he won't object.

KAY
What time do they expect us?

MICHAEL
For dinner. Unless I call and tell
them we're still in New Hampshire.

KAY
Michael.

MICHAEL
Then we can have dinner, see a
show, and spend one more night.

He moves to the telephone.

MICHAEL (CONT'D.)
Operator. Get me
(fill in number)

KAY
Michael, what are you doing?

MICHAEL
Shhh, you be the long distance
operator. Here.

KAY
Hello...this is Long Distance. I
have a call from New Hampshire. Mr.
Michael Corleone. One moment please.

She hands the phone to MICHAEL who continues the deception.

MICHAEL
Hello, Tom? Michael. Yeah...
listen, we haven't left yet. I'm
driving down to the city with Kay
tomorrow morning. There's something
important I want to tell the old
man before Christmas. Will he be
home tomorrow night?

INT DAY: OLIVE OIL OFFICE (WINTER 1945)

HAGEN in the Olive Oil Company office. In the background,
through the glass partitions, we can see the DON, at work in
his office. TOM is tired, and steeped in paperwork.

HAGEN (O.S.)
Sure. Anything I can do for you.

MICHAEL (O.S.)
No. I guess I'll see you Christmas.
Everyone's going to be out at Long
Beach, right?

HAGEN
Right.

He smiles. MICHAEL has hung up. He looks at the piles of
work, and can't face it. He rises, puts on his coat and
hat, and continues out.

He peeks into the DON's office.

HAGEN
Michael called; he's not leaving
New Hampshire until tomorrow
morning. I've got to go, I promised
Theresa I'd pick up some toys for
the kids.

The DON smiles and nods.

TOM smiles, and leaves; OUR VIEW remaining with DON CORLEONE.
FREDDIE is sitting on a bench in the corner, reading the
afternoon paper. He puts aside the papers the office
manager has prepared for him, and then moves to FREDDIE,
raps his knuckles on his head to take his nose out of the
paper.

DON CORLEONE
Tell Paulie to get the car from the
lot; I'll be ready to go home in a
few minutes.

FREDO
I'll have to get it myself; Paulie
called in sick this morning.

DON CORLEONE
That's the third time this month.
I think maybe you'd better get a
healthier bodyguard for me. Tell
Tom.

FREDO
(going)
Paulie's a good kid. If he's sick,
he's sick. I don't mind getting
the car.

FREDDIE leaves. He slowly puts on his jacket. Looks out
his window.

EXT DUSK: OLIVE OIL CO. (WINTER 1945)

FREDDIE crosses the street.

INT DUSK: OLIVE OIL OFFICE (WINTER 1945)

OFFICE MANAGER
Buon Watale, Don Corleone.

The MANAGER helps him on with his overcoat. Once again, the
DON glances out his window.

The black car pulls up; FREDDIE driving.

DON CORLEONE
Merry Christmas.
(handing the MANAGER
an envelope)

And he starts down the stairs.

EXT DUSK: OLIVE OIL CO. (WINTER 1945)

The light outside is very cold, and beginning to fail. When
FREDDIE sees his FATHER coming, he moves back into the
driver's seat. The DON moves to the car, and is about to
get in when he hesitates, and turns back to the long, open
fruit stand near the corner.

The PROPRIETOR springs to serve him. The DON walks among
the trays and baskets, and merely points to a particular
piece of fruit. As he selects, the MAN gingerly picks the
pieces of fruit up and puts them into a paper bag. The DON
pays with a five dollar bill, waits for his change, and then
turns back to the car.

EXT DUSK: POLKS TOY STORE (WINTER 1945)

TOM HAGEN exits carrying a stack of presents, all gift
wrapped. He continues past the windows. As he walks,
someone walks right in his way. He looks up. It is SOLLOZZO.

He takes TOM by the arm and walks along with him.

SOLLOZZO
(quietly)
Don't be frightened. I just want
to talk to you.

A car parked at the curb suddenly flings its rear door open.

SOLLOZZO
(urgently)
Get in; I want to talk to you.

HAGEN pulls his arm free. He is frightened.

HAGEN
I haven't got time.

TWO MEN suddenly appear on either side of him.

SOLLOZZO
Get in the car. If I wanted to
kill you you'd be dead already.
Trust me.

HAGEN, sick to his stomach, moves with his ESCORTS, leaving
our VIEW on the Mechanical windows gaily bobbing the story
of Hansel and Gretel. We HEAR the car doors shut, and the
car drive off.

EXT NIGHT: RADIO CITY - PHONE BOOTH (WINTER 1945)

RADIO CITY MUSIC HALL during the Christmas show. KAY and
MICHAEL exit; tears are still streaming down her cheeks, and
she sniffles, and dries her tears with Kleenex. KAY
nostalgically hums "The Bells of Saint Mary's," as they walk
arm in arm.

KAY
Would you like me better if I were
a nun?

MICHAEL
No.

KAY
Would you like me better if I were
Ingrid Bergman?

They have passed a little enclosed newsstand. KAY sees
something that terrifies her. She doesn't know what to do.
MICHAEL still walks, thinking about her question.

KAY
(a little voice)
Michael?

MICHAEL
I'm thinking about it.

KAY
Michael...

MICHAEL
No, I would not like you better if
you were Ingrid Bergman.

She cannot answer him. Rather she pulls him by the arm,
back to the newsstand, and points. His face goes grave.

The headlines read: "VITO CORLEONE SHOT, CHIEFTAN GUNNED
DOWN."

MICHAEL is petrified; quickly he takes each edition, drops a
dollar in the tray, and hungrily reads through them. KAY
knows to remain silent.

MICHAEL
(desperately)
They don't say if he's dead or alive.

EXT DUSK: OLIVE OIL CO. (WINTER 1945)

DON CORLEONE by the fruit stand; he is about to move to the
car, when TWO MEN step from the corner. Suddenly, the DON
drops the bag of fruit and darts with startling quickness
toward the parked car.

DON CORLEONE
Fredo, Fredo!

The paper bag has hit the ground, and the fruit begins
rolling along the sidewalk, as we HEAR gunshots.

Five bullets catch the DON in the back; he arches in pain,
and continues toward the car.

The PROPRIETOR of the fruit stand rushes for cover, knocking
over an entire case of fruit.

The TWO GUNMEN move in quickly, anxious to finish him off.

Their feet careful to avoid the rolling fruit. There are
more GUNSHOTS.

FREDDIE is hysterical; he tries to get out of the car;
having difficulty opening the door. He rushes out, a gun
trembling in his hand; his mouth open. He actually drops
the gun.

The gun falls amid the rolling fruit.

The GUNMEN are panicked. They fire once more at the downed
DON CORLEONE. His leg and arm twitch where they are hit;
and pools of blood are beginning to form.

The GUNMEN are obviously in a state of panic and confusion;
they disappear around the corner as quickly as they came.

The PEOPLE about the avenue have all but disappeared:
rather, we catch glimpses of them, poking their heads safely
from around corners, inside doorways and arches, and from
windows. But the street itself is now empty.

FREDDIE is in shock; he looks at his FATHER; now great
puddles of blood have formed, and the DON is lifeless and
face down in them.

FREDDIE falls back on to the curb and sits there, saying
something we cannot understand. He begins to weep profusely.

INT NIGHT: SUBWAY (WINTER 1945)

LUCA BRASI riding alone on a subway car, late at night. He
gets off.

He emerges at a subway terminal, proceeds out.

EXT NITE: NIGHT CLUB STREET (WINTER 1945)

LUCA walks down the late night street. He approaches an
elegant New York Nightclub, whose gaudy neon sign is still
winking this late at night. He waits and watches. Then the
sign goes out; and he proceeds into the club.

INT NITE: NIGHTCLUB (WINTER 1945)

The main floor of the Nightclub is very large, with endless
glistening wooden floors. Now, at this late time, the
chairs have been stacked on the tables and a NEGRO JANITOR
is waxing them. A single HAT-CHECK GIRL is counting her
receipts. LUCA moves past the empty bandstand, and sits at
the bar. ANOTHER MAN, dark and very well-built, moves
behind the bar.

MAN
Luca...I'm Bruno Tattaglia.

LUCA
I know.

LUCA looks up; and out of the shadows emerges SOLLOZZO.

SOLLOZZO
Do you know who I am?

LUCA Nods.

SOLLOZZO
You've been talking to the
Tattaglias. They thought we could
do business.

LUCA listens.

SOLLOZZO
I need somebody strong to protect
my operation, physically. I've
heard you're not happy with your
family, you might make a switch.

LUCA
If the money is good enough.

SOLLOZZO
On the first shipment, I can
guarantee you fifty thousand dollars.

LUCA looks at him; he had no idea the offer would be so good.

SOLLOZZO extends his hand, but LUCA pretends not to see it,
rather, he busies himself putting a cigarette in his mouth.
BRUNO TATTAGLIA, behind the bar, makes a cigarette lighter
magically appear, and holds it to LUCA's cigarette. Then,
he does an odd thing; he drops the lighter on the bar, and
puts his hand lightly on LUCA's, almost patting it.

INT NITE: SONNY'S LIVING ROOM (WINTER 1945)

The telephone in SONNY's house is ringing. He approaches
it, obviously fresh from a nap.

SONNY
Yeah.

VOICE (O.S.)
Do you recognize my voice?

SONNY
I think so. Detective squad?

VOICE (O.S.)
Right. Don't say my name, just
listen. Somebody shot your father
outside his place fifteen minutes
ago.

SONNY
Is he alive?

VOICE (O.S.)
I think so, but I can't get close
enough. There's a lot of blood.
I'll try to find out more.

SONNY
Find out anything you can...you got
a Grand coming.
(click)

SONNY cradles the phone. An incredible rage builds up in
him, his face actually turning red. He would like to rip
the phone to pieces in his bare hands. Then he controls it.
Quickly, he dials another number.

SONNY
Theresa, let me talk to Tom. Not
yet? Have him call me as soon as
he gets home.

He hangs up.

SANDRA (O.S.)
Sonny? Sonny, who is it?
(she enters the room)
What is it?

SONNY
(calmly)
They shot the old man.

SANDRA
Oh God...

SONNY
Honey...don't worry. Nothing else
is going to happen.

There is a POUNDING on the door. A BABY starts crying.

SANDRA
(really frightened)
SONNY?

SONNY reaches into a cabinet drawer, takes out a gun, and
moves quickly. He opens the front door quickly. It is
CLEMENZA. He enters, SONNY closes the door. SANDRA goes to
look after the baby.

CLEMENZA
(excited)
You heard about your father?

SONNY
Yeah.

CLEMENZA
The word is out in the streets that
he's dead.

SONNY
Where the hell was Paulie, why
wasn't he with the Don?

CLEMENZA
Paulie's been a little sick all
winter...he was home.

SONNY
How many times did he stay home the
last couple of months?

CLEMENZA
Maybe three, four times. I always
asked Freddie if he wanted another
bodyguard, but he said no. Things
have been so smooth the last ten
years...

SONNY
Go get Paulie, I don't care how
sick he is. Pick him up yourself,
and bring him to my father's house.

CLEMENZA
That's all? Don't you want me to
send some people over here?

SONNY
No, just you and Paulie.

CLEMENZA leaves; SONNY moves to SANDRA, who sits on the
couch weeping quietly, comforting her BABY.

SONNY
A couple of our people will come to
stay here. Do whatever they say;
I'm going over to the main house.
If you want me, use Pop's special
phone.

The telephone rings again. SONNY answers it.

SONNY
Hello.

SOLLOZZO (O.S.)
Santino Corleone?

SANDRA moves behind him, anxious to know who it is. SONNY
indicates that she be quiet.

SONNY
Yeah.

SOLLOZZO (O.S.)
We have Tom Hagen. In about three
hours he'll be released with our
proposition. Don't do anything
until you've heard what he has to
say. You can only cause a lot of
trouble. What's done is done.
(a pause)
Don't lose that famous temper of
yours.

SONNY
(quietly)
I'll wait.

EXT NITE: MALL (WINTER 1945)

FULL VIEW OF THE CORLEONE MALL. It is night, but the
courtyard is bathed with white light from floodlights on the
tops of all the houses. It is very cold. We see the figure
of SONNY cross the Mall, and let himself into the main house.

INT NITE: DON'S KITCHEN (WINTER 1945)

SONNY walks into the empty, darkened house. Then he calls
out.

SONNY
Ma? Ma, where are you.

The kitchen door swings open. He moves quickly and takes
her by the arm. He is deliberately calm.

SONNY
Ma, I just got a call. Pop's
hurt...I don't know how bad.

MAMA
(quietly)
Santino? Have they killed him?

SONNY
(almost in tears)
We don't know yet, Ma.

MAMA
I'll get dressed. In case we can
see him...

She moves out of the kitchen, and continues upstairs. SONNY
turns the gas from the pan of peppers she was frying. He
takes some bread without thinking, and dips it in the oil,
and sloppily eats some of the peppers, as he moves into his
father's office.

INT NITE: DON'S OFFICE (WINTER 1945)

He switches the lights on in the DON's office. The massive
desk dominates the room. SONNY moves quickly to the
telephone, pulling a small chair to the side of the desk,
and dials a number.

SONNY
Tessio...This is Santino Corleone.
I want fifty reliable men out here.

TESSIO (O.S.)
I heard, Sonny...but what about
Clemenza's regime?

SONNY
I don't want to use Clemenza's
people right now. Understood?

He hangs up. He moves quickly to a wall safe; operates the
dial, and removes a small notebook. He takes it back to the
desk, and runs over the list of numbers with his forefinger.
We follow the names, until the finger stops at one: LUCA
BRASI. SONNY dials the number. There is no answer.

SONNY
Luca.

INT NITE: BUILDING (WINTER 1945)

The interior of an abandoned building. SEVERAL MEN in suits
and ties sit around in the booths.

HAGEN sits in one: SOLLOZZO sits across from him.

SOLLOZZO
I know you're not in the muscle end
of the family--so I don't want you
to be afraid. I want you to help
the Corleones and I want you to
help me.

HAGEN's hands are trembling as he tries to put a cigarette
in his mouth. ONE of the BUTTON MEN brings a bottle of rye
to the table, and pours a little into a delicate, flowered
china cup. HAGEN sips gratefully.

SOLLOZZO
Your boss is dead...

HAGEN is overwhelmed: actual tears spring to his eyes.
SOLLOZZO pauses respectfully.

SOLLOZZO
(pushing the bottle)
Have some more. We got him outside
his office, just before I picked
you up. You have to make the peace
between me and Santino.

HAGEN still is focused on the grief of losing the old man.

SOLLOZZO
Sonny was hot for my deal, right?
You know it's the smart thing to
do, too. I want you to talk Sonny
into it.

HAGEN
(pulling himself together)
Sonny will come after you with
everything he's got.

SOLLOZZO rises, impatiently.

SOLLOZZO
That's going to be his first
reaction. You have to talk some
sense into him. The Tattaglia
family stands behind me with all
their people. The other New York
Families will go along with anything
that prevents a full scale war.

He leans close to HAGEN.

SOLLOZZO
The Don was slipping; in the old
days I could never have gotten to
him. Now he's dead, nothing can
bring him back. Talk to Sonny,
talk to the Caporegimes, Clemenza
and Tessio...it's good business.

HAGEN
Even Sonny won't be able to call
off Luca Brasi.

SOLLOZZO
I'll worry about Luca. You take
care of Sonny and the other two kids.

HAGEN
I'll try...It's what the Don would
want us to do.

SOLLOZZO
(lifting his hands in
an expression of harmlessness)
Good...then you can go...
(he escorts him to
the door)
I don't like violence. I'm a
businessman, and blood is a big
expense.

He opens the door; they step out together.

EXT NITE: BUILDING

HAGEN, SOLLOZZO exit.

But a car pulls up, and ONE of SOLLOZZO'S MEN rushes out.
He indicates with some urgency that he wants to talk to
SOLLOZZO in private.

Then SOLLOZZO moves with a grave expression. He opens the
door, indicating that HAGEN should be led back in.

SOLLOZZO
The old man is still alive. Five
bullets in his Sicilian hide and
he's still alive.
(he gives a fatalistic
shrug)
Bad luck for me, bad luck for you.

EXT NITE: MALL (WINTER 1945)

MICHAEL driving during the night. There is a little fog in
the air, and moisture has formed on the windshield, making
it difficult to see well. The wipers move across the view,
as the gate of the Corleone Mall appears before us, still
decorated for Christmas. The courtyard is bathed with white
floodlight, giving this place a cold and isolated look. The
narrow entrance mouth of the Mall is sealed off with a link
chain. There are strange cars parked along the curving
cement walk. SEVERAL MEN are congregated about the gate and
chain; ONE of them approaches MICHAEL's car.

MAN
Who're you?

ANOTHER peeks his ugly face almost right up to MICHAEL, and
then turns.

MAN 2
It's the Don's kid; take the car,
I'll bring him inside.

The FIRST MAN opens the car door, and MICHAEL steps out.

INT NITE: HALL (WINTER 1945)

The Hallway of the main house is filled with MEN MICHAEL
doesn't recognize. They pay little attention to him. Most
of them are waiting; sitting uncomfortably; no one is talking.

INT NITE: DON'S LIVING ROOM (WINTER 1945)

MICHAEL moves into the living room; there is a Christmas
tree, and countless greeting cards taped to the walls.

THERESA HAGEN is sitting stiffly on the sofa, smoking a
cigarette; on the coffee table in front of her is a water
glass half filled with whiskey. On the other side of the
sofa sits CLEMENZA; his face is impassive, but he is
sweating, and the cigar in his hand glistens slickly black
with his saliva. PAULIE GATTO sits tensely and alone on the
other side of the room. CLEMENZA sees MICHAEL, looks up at
him.

CLEMENZA
Your mother's at the hospital with
the old man: He's gonna pull through.

MICHAEL nods his relief.

MICHAEL
Thanks.

He moves to THERESA.

MICHAEL
(gently)
You heard from Tom yet?

Without looking up, she clings to him for a moment, and
trembles. Occasionally, STRANGE MEN will cross through the
room; everyone speaks in a whisper.

MICHAEL
(taking her hand)
C'mon.

He leads her into his father's office without knocking.

INT NITE: DON'S OFFICE (WINTER 1945)

SONNY and TESSIO are huddled around a yellow pad. They look
up, startled.

SONNY
Don't worry, Theresa; they just
want to give Tom the proposition,
then they're going to turn him loose.

He reassuringly hugs THERESA, and then to MICHAEL's surprise,
he kisses him on the cheek.

SONNY
I was worried when we couldn't get
in touch with you in that hick town.

MICHAEL
How's Mom?

SONNY
Good. She's been through it before.
Me too. You were too young to know
about it. You better wait outside;
there're some things you shouldn't
hear.

MICHAEL
I can help you out...

SONNY
Oh no you can't, the old man'd be
sore as hell if I let you get mixed
up in this.

MICHAEL
Jesus Christ, he's my father, Sonny.

SONNY
Theresa.

She understands, and leaves them alone.

SONNY
All right, Mikey...who do we have
to hit, Clemenza or Paulie?

MICHAEL
What?

SONNY
One of them fingered the old man.

MICHAEL didn't realize that the men waiting outside were on
trial for their lives.

MICHAEL
Clemenza? No, I don't believe it.

SONNY
You're right, kid, Clemenza is okay.
It was Paulie.

MICHAEL
How can you be sure?

SONNY
On the three days Paulie was sick
this month, he got calls from a
payphone across from the old man's
building. We got people in the
phone company.
(he shrugs)
Thank God it was Paulie...we'll
need Clemenza bad.

MICHAEL is just realizing the gravity and extent of the
situation.

MICHAEL
Is it going to be all-out war, like
last time?

SONNY
Until the old man tells me different.

MICHAEL
Then wait, Sonny. Talk to Pop.

SONNY
Sollozzo is a dead man, I don't
care what it costs. I don't care
if we have to fight all the five
families in New York. The Tattaglia
family's going to eat dirt. I
don't care if we all go down
together.

MICHAEL
(softly)
That's not how Pop would have
played it.

SONNY
I know I'm not the man he was. But
I'll tell you this and he'll tell
you too. When it comes to real
action, I can operate as good as
anybody short range.

MICHAEL
(calmly)
All right, Sonny. All right.

SONNY
Christ, if I could only contact Luca.

MICHAEL
Is it like they say? Is he that
good?

Outside, we HEAR THERESA cry out, almost a scream of relief.
Then open the door and rush out.

Everyone is standing: in the doorway, TOM HAGEN is wrapped
in a tight embrace with his WIFE.

HAGEN
If I plead before the Supreme
Court, I'll never do better than I
did tonight with that Turk.

EXT NITE: MALL, FEATURING DON'S HOUSE (WINTER 1945)

The windows of the main house are dark except for the DON's
study. It stands out against the cold, dark night.

INT NITE: DON'S LIVING ROOM (WINTER 1945)

The living room is empty, save for PAULIE GATTO sitting on
the edge of the sofa. The clock reads: 4:00 a.m.

INT NITE: DON'S OFFICE (WINTER 1945)

SONNY, MICHAEL, HAGEN, CLEMENZA and TESSIO; all exhausted,
in shirtsleeves, about to fall asleep. It is four in the
morning; there is evidence of many cups of coffee and many
snacks. They can barely talk anymore.

HAGEN
Is the hospital covered?

SONNY
The cops have it locked in and I
got my people there visiting Pop
all the time. What about the hit
list.

HAGEN widens his sleepy eyes, and looks at the yellow pad.

HAGEN
Too much, too far, too personal.
The Don would consider this all
purely a business dispute: Get rid
of Sollozzo, and everything falls
in line. YOU don't have to go
after the Tattaglias.

CLEMENZA nods.

HAGEN
What about Luca? Sollozzo didn't
seem worried about Luca. That
worries me.

SONNY
If Luca sold out we're in real
trouble.

HAGEN
Has anyone been able to get in
touch with him?

SONNY
No, and I've been calling all night.
Maybe he's shacked up.

HAGEN
Luca never sleeps over with a broad.
He always goes home when he's
through. Mike, keep ringing Luca's
number.

MICHAEL, very tired, picks up the phone, and dials the
number once again. He can hear the phone ringing on the
other end but no one answers. Then hangs up.

HAGEN
Keep trying every fifteen minutes.
(exhausted)

SONNY
Tom, you're the Consigliere, what
do we do if the old man dies?

HAGEN
Without your father's political
contacts and personal influence,
the Corleone family loses half its
strength. Without your father, the
other New York families might wind
up supporting Sollozzo, and the
Tattaglias just to make sure there
isn't a long destructive war. The
old days are over, this is 1946;
nobody wants bloodshed anymore. If
your father dies...make the deal,
Sonny.

SONNY
(angry)
That's easy to say; it's not your
father.

HAGEN
(quietly)
I was as good a son to him as you
or Mike.

SONNY
Oh Christ Tom, I didn't mean it
that way.

HAGEN
We're all tired...

SONNY
OK, we sit tight until the old man
can give us the lead. But Tom, I
want you to stay inside the Mall.
You too, Mike, no chances. Tessio,
you hold your people in reserve,
but have them nosing around the
city. The hospital is yours; I
want it tight, fool-proof, 24 hours
a day.

There is a timid knock on the door.

SONNY
What is it?

PAULIE GATTO looks in.

CLEMENZA
I tol' you to stay put, Paulie...

PAULIE
The guy at the gate's outside...says
there's a package...

SONNY
Tessio, see what it is.

TESSIO gets up, leaves.

PAULIE
You want me to hang around?

SONNY
Yeah. Hang around.

PAULIE
Outside?

CLEMENZA
Outside.

PAULIE
Sure.

He closes the door.

SONNY
Clemenza. You take care of Paulie.
I don't ever want to see him again.
Understood?

CLEMENZA
Understood.

SONNY
Okay, now you can move your men
into the Mall, replace Tessio's
people. Mike, tomorrow you take a
couple of Clemenza's people and go
to Luca's apartment and wait for
him to show. That crazy bastard
might be going after Sollozzo right
now if he's heard the news.

HAGEN
Maybe Mike shouldn't get mixed up
in this so directly. You know the
old man doesn't want that.

SONNY
OK forget it, just stay on the phone.

MICHAEL is embarrassed to be so protected. He dials Luca
Brasi's number once again. The ring repeats, but no one
answers.

TESSIO comes back, carrying Luca Brasi's bullet-proof vest
in his hand. He unwraps it; there is a large fish wrapped
inside.

CLEMENZA
A Sicilian message: Luca Brasi
sleeps with the fishes.

INT. NITE: NIGHTCLUB (WINTER 1945)

LUCA sits at the Bar of the Tattaglia Nightclub, as we
remember him. BRUNO TATTAGLIA had just patted his hand.
LUCA looks up at him.

Then SOLLOZZO pats the other hand, almost affectionately.
LUCA is just about to twist his hands away, when they both
clamp down as hard as they can. Suddenly, a garrote is
thrown around his neck, and pulled violently tight. His
face begins to turn to purple blotches, and then totally
purple, right before our eyes; his tongue hangs out, in a
far more extreme way than a normal tongue could. His eyes
bulge.

ONE of the MEN looks down at him in disgust as LUCA's
strength leaves him.

BRUNO
(making an ugly face)
Oh Christ...all over the floor.

SOLLOZZO lets LUCA's hand go with a victorious smile on his
face.

LUCA falls to the floor.

SOLLOZZO
The Godfather is next.

----------------------------------------FADE OUT--------

FADE IN:

EXT DAY: CLEMENZA'S HOUSE (WINTER 1945)

Morning in a simple Brooklyn suburb. There are rows of
pleasant houses; driveway after driveway, down the block. A
dark, somber young man of thirty-one or two walks with a
noticeable limp down the sidewalk, and rings the bell. This
is ROCCO LAMPONE. The woman of the house, MRS. CLEMENZA,
talks to him through the screen door, and then points to the
side of the house. ROCCO moves to the garage, which is
specially heated, and in which CLEMENZA is busy at work
washing a shiny brand new Lincoln. LAMPONE admires the car.

LAMPONE
Nice.

CLEMENZA
Crazy Detroit delivered it with a
wooden bumper. They're going to
send me the chrome bumpers in a
couple months. I waited two years
for this car to come with wooden
bumpers!

He scrubs and polishes with great affection.

CLEMENZA
Today you make your bones on Paulie.
You understand everything?

LAMPONE
Sure.

As he scrubs around the glove compartment, he opens it,
unwraps a gun and gives it to LAMPONE.

CLEMENZA
.22 soft-nosed load. Accurate up
to five feet.

LAMPONE expertly puts the gun away. GATTO's car pulls into
the driveway, and he sounds the horn.

The two men walk to the car. GATTO is driving, a bit
nervous, like he doesn't know what is up. LAMPONE gets in
the rear seat; CLEMENZA in the front, making a grunt of
recognition. He looks at his wristwatch, as though wanting
to chide PAULIE for being late. PAULIE flinches a little
when he sees LAMPONE will ride behind him; he half turns:

PAULIE
Rocco, sit on the other side. A
big guy like you blocks my rearview
mirror.

CLEMENZA turns sourly to PAULIE.

CLEMENZA
Goddamn Sonny. He's running scared.
He's already thinking of going to
the mattresses. We have to find a
place on the West Side. Paulie,
you know a good location?

PAULIE relaxes a bit; he thinks he's off any possible hook
he was on. Also there's the money he can make by selling
Sollozzo any secret location.

PAULIE
I'll think about it.

CLEMENZA
(grunting)
Drive while you thinking; I wanna
get to the City this month!

The car pulls out.

EXT DAY: PAULIE'S CAR - ON ROAD (WINTER 1945)

Inside PAULIE drives; and CLEMENZA sits in a grump. OUR
VIEW does not show LAMPONE in the rear seat.

EXT DAY: PAULIE'S CAR AT TUNNEL (WINTER 1945)

The Car crosses to the Midtown Tunnel in the late Winter
light.

INT DAY: PAULIE'S CAR IN TUNNEL (WINTER 1945)

Inside the tunnel; GATTO doesn't like not seeing LAMPONE.
He tries to adjust his rearview mirror to catch a glimpse of
him.

CLEMENZA
Pay attention!

EXT DAY: PAULIE'S CAR AT MATTRESS (WINTER 1945)

The car is parked in the City. PAULIE comes down from an
available apartment and gets back into the car.

PAULIE
Good for ten men...

CLEMENZA
OK, go to Arthur Avenue; I'm
suppose to call when I found
somethin'.

The car pulls off.

EXT DAY: RESTAURANT (WINTER 1945)

New part of the city; the car pulls up in a parking lot.
CLEMENZA get outs, glances at LAMPONE, then to PAULIE.

CLEMENZA
You wait; I'll call.

He walks, tucking his shirt into his pants, around the
corner and enters the Luna Restaurant.

INT DAY: RESTAURANT (WINTER 1945)

CLEMENZA enters the little restaurant, sits down at a table.
The WAITERS know him; immediately put a bottle of wine, some
bread--and then a plate of veal on his table. He eats.

EXT DAY: RESTAURANT (WINTER 1945)

CLEMENZA exits the restaurant, belches, adjusts his pants;
he is well fed.

We move with him around the corner, not knowing what to
expect has happened to Paulie.

There is the car; PAULIE is still sitting behind the wheel,
LAMPONE in the rear seat. CLEMENZA steps in.

CLEMENZA
He talked my ear off. Want us to
go back to Long Beach; have another
job for us. Rocco, you live in the
City, can we drop you off?

LAMPONE (O.S.)
Ah, I left my car at your place.

CLEMENZA
OK, then you gotta come back.

The car pulls out. By now, PAULIE is completely relaxed and
secure.

PAULIE
You think we'll go for that last
place?

CLEMENZA
Maybe, or you gotta know now.

PAULIE
Holy cow, I don't gotta know nothing.

EXT DAY: PAULIE'S CAR ON CAUSEWAY (WINTER 1945)

The car moves along the ready beach area of the causeway.
Inside, CLEMENZA turns to PAULIE.

CLEMENZA
Paulie, pull over. I gotta take a
leak.

The car pulls off the Causeway, into the reeds. CLEMENZA
steps out of the car, OUR VIEW MOVING with him.

He turns his back three quarters from us (we can no longer
see the car), unzips, and we hear the sound of urine hitting
the ground. We wait on this for a moment; and then there
are two GUNSHOTS. CLEMENZA finishes his leak, zips up and
turns, moving back to the car.

PAULIE is dead, bleeding from the mouth; the windows behind
him are shattered.

CLEMENZA
Leave the gun.

LAMPONE gets out, the two men walk through the reeds a few
feet where there is another car. They get in, and drive off.

---------------------------------------FADE OUT---------

EXT DAY: MALL (WINTER 1945)

HIGH ANGLE OF THE MALL. It is late afternoon. Many strange
cars are parked on the nearby streets. We can see the group
of BUTTON MEN, stationed here and there, obviously sentries
with concealed weapons.

MICHAEL walks along in the rear yard.

He is bundled in a warm marine coat. He looks at the
strange men, regarding them with an uncertain awe. They
look back at him, at first suspiciously and then with the
respect of his position. He is like an exile Prince. He
wanders past them, and hesitates and looks at the yard.

A rusted set of garden swings; and other home playground
equipment. The basketball ring now half coming off. This
is where he was a child. Then a shout.

CLEMENZA (O.S.)
Mike. Hey Mikey; telephone.

CLEMENZA had shouted from the kitchen window. MICHAEL
hurries into the house.

INT DAY: DON'S KITCHEN (WINTER 1945)

CLEMENZA is in the kitchen, cooking over an enormous pot.
He points to the kitchen wall phone which is hanging off the
hook.

CLEMENZA
Some dame.

MICHAEL picks it up.

MICHAEL
Hello. Kay?

KAY (O.S.)
How is your father?

MICHAEL
He'll be OK.

KAY (O.S.)
(pause)
I love you.

He glances at the THUGS in the kitchen. Tries to shield the
phone.

KAY (O.S.)
I LOVE YOU.

MICHAEL
Yeah Kay, I'm here.

KAY (O.S.)
Can you say it?

MICHAEL
Huh?

KAY (O.S.)
Tell me you love me.

MICHAEL glances at the HOODS at the kitchen table. He curls
up in a corner, and in a quarter voice:

MICHAEL
I can't...

KAY (O.S.)
Please say it.

MICHAEL
Look. I'll see you tonight, OK?

KAY (O.S.)
OK.
(click)

CLEMENZA is getting ready to build a tomato sauce for all
the button men stationed around the house.

CLEMENZA
How come you don't tell that nice
girl you love her...here, learn
something... you may have to feed
fifty guys some day. You start
with olive oil...fry some garlic,
see. And then fry some sausage...or meat
balls if you like...then you throw
in the tomatoes, the tomato
paste...some basil; and a little
red wine...that's my trick.

SONNY peeks into the kitchen; sees CLEMENZA.

SONNY
You take care of Paulie?

CLEMENZA
You won't see Paulie anymore. He's
sick for good this winter.

MICHAEL starts to leave.

SONNY
Where are you going?

MICHAEL
To the city.

SONNY
(to Clemenza; dipping
bread into the sauce)
Send some bodyguards.

MICHAEL
I don't need them, Sonny. I'm just
going to see Pop in the hospital.
Also, I got other things.

CLEMENZA
Sollozzo knows Mike's a civilian.

SONNY
OK, but be careful.

EXT NITE: CAR

MICHAEL sits in the rear seat, calmly, as he is being driven
into the city. THREE BUTTONMEN are crowded into the front
seat.

INT NITE: HOTEL LOBBY

MICHAEL crosses the lobby, past lines of servicemen trying
to book rooms.

INT NITE: HOTEL

MICHAEL and KAY eating a quiet dinner at the hotel. He is
preoccupied, she's concerned.

MICHAEL
Visiting hour ends at eight thirty.
I'll just sit with him; I want to
show respect.

KAY
Can I go to the hospital with you?

MICHAEL
I don't think so. You don't want
to end up on page 3 of the Daily
News.

KAY
My parents don't read the Daily
News. All right, if you think I
shouldn't. I can't believe the
things the papers are printing.
I'm sure most of it's not true.

MICHAEL
I don't think so either.
(silence)
I better go.

KAY
When will I see you again?

MICHAEL
I want you to go back to New
Hampshire...think things over.

He leans over her; kisses her.

KAY
When will I see you again?

MICHAEL
Goodbye.

Quietly, he moves out the door.

KAY lies on the bed a while, and then, to herself:

KAY
Goodbye.

EXT NITE: DON'S HOSPITAL (WINTER 1945)

A taxi pulls up in front of a hospital, marked clearly with
a neon sign "HOSPITAL--EMERGENCY." MICHAEL steps out, pays
the fare...and then stops dead in his tracks.

MICHAEL looks.

He sees the hospital in the night; but it is deserted. He
is the only one on the street. There are gay, twinkling
Christmas decorations all over the building. He walks,
slowly at first, and then ever so quickly, up the steps. He
hesitates, looks around. This area is empty. He checks the
address on a scrap of paper. It is correct. He tries the
door, it is empty.

He walks in.

INT NITE: HOSPITAL LOBBY (WINTER 1945)

MICHAEL stands in the center of an absolutely empty hospital
lobby. He looks to the right; there is a long, empty
corridor. To the left: the same.

HIGH FULL ANGLE, as MICHAEL walks through the desolated
building lit by eerie green neon lighting. All we hear are
his sole footsteps.

He walks up to a desk marked "INFORMATION". No one is there.
He moves quickly to a door marked "OFFICE"; swings into it;
no one is there. He looks onto the desk: There is half a
sandwich, and a half-filled bottle of coke.

MICHAEL
Hello? Hello?

Now he knows something is happening, he moves quickly,
alertly. MICHAEL walking down the hospital corridors; all
alone. The floors have just been mopped. They are still wet.

INT NITE: HOSPITAL STAIRS

Now he turns onto a staircase; ever quickening; up several
flights.

INT NITE: 4TH FLOOR CORRIDOR

He steps out onto the fourth floor. He looks. There are
merely empty corridors. He takes out his scrap of paper;
checks it. "Room 4A." Now he hurries, trying to follow the
code of hospital rooms; following the right arrows, quicker
and quicker they flash by him. Now he stops, looks up "4A--
Corleone".

There is a special card table set up there with some
magazines...and some smoking cigarettes still in the
ashtray--but no detectives, no police, no bodyguards.

INT NITE: DON'S ROOM 4A

Slowly he pushes the door open, almost afraid at what he
will find. He looks. Lit by the moonlight through the
window, he can see a FIGURE in the hospital bed alone in the
room, and under a transparent oxygen tent. All that can be
heard is the steady though strained breathing. Slowly
MICHAEL walks up to it, and is relieved to see his FATHER,
securely asleep. Tubes hang from a steel gallows beside the
bed, and run to his nose and mouth.

VOICE (O.S.)
What are you doing here?

This startles MICHAEL; who almost jumps around. It is a
NURSE lit from the light behind her in the hallway.

NURSE
You're not supposed to be here now.

MICHAEL calms himself, and moves to her.

MICHAEL
I'm Michael Corleone--this is my
father. What happened to the
detectives who were guarding him?

NURSE
Oh your father just had too many
visitors. It interfered with the
hospital service. The police came
and made them all leave just ten
minutes ago.
(comfortingly)
But don't worry. I look in on him.

MICHAEL
You just stand here one minute...

Quickly he moves to the telephone, dials a number.

MICHAEL
Sonny...Sonny--Jesus Christ, I'm
down at the hospital. I came down
late. There's no one here. None
of Tessio's people--no detectives,
no one. The old man is completely
unprotected.

SONNY (O.S.)
All right, get him in a different
room; lock the door from the inside.
I'll have some men there inside of
fifteen minutes. Sit tight, and
don't panic.

MICHAEL
(furiously, but kept inside)
I won't panic.

He hangs up; returns to the NURSE...

NURSE
You cannot stay here...I'm sorry.

MICHAEL
(coldly)
You and I are going to move my
father right now...to another room
on another floor...Can you
disconnect those tubes so we can
wheel the bed out?

NURSE
Absolutely not! We have to get
permission from the Doctor.

MICHAEL
You've read about my father in the
papers. You've seen that no one's
here to guard him. Now I've just
gotten word that men are coming to
this hospital to kill him. Believe
me and help me.

NURSE
(frightened)
We don't have to disconnect them,
we can wheel the stand with the bed.

She does so...and they perform the very difficult task of
moving the bed and the apparatus, out of the room.

INT NITE: 4TH FLOOR HOSPITAL (WINTER 1945)

They roll the bed, the stand, and all the tubes silently
down the corridor. We hear FOOTSTEPS coming up the stairs.
MICHAEL hears them, stops.

MICHAEL
Hurry, into there.

They push it into the first available room. MICHAEL peeks
out from the door. The footsteps are louder; then they
emerge. It is ENZO, NAZORINE's helper, carrying a bouquet
of flowers.

MICHAEL
(stepping out)
Who is it?

ENZO
Michael...do you remember me, Enzo,
the baker's helper to Nazorine, now
his son-in-law.

MICHAEL
Enzo, get out of here. There's
going to be trouble.

A look of fear sweeps through ENZO's face.

ENZO
If there...will be trouble...I stay
with you, to help. I owe it to the
Godfather.

MICHAEL thinks, realizes he needs all the help he can get.

MICHAEL
Go outside; stand in front...I'll
be out in a minute.

INT NITE: DON'S SECOND HOSPITAL ROOM (WINTER 1945)

They part. MICHAEL moves into the hospital room where they
put his FATHER.

NURSE
(frightened)
He's awake.

MICHAEL looks at the OLD MAN, his eyes are open, though he
cannot speak. MICHAEL touches his face tenderly.

MICHAEL
Pop...Pop, it's me Michael. Shhhh,
don't try to speak. There are men
who are coming to try to kill you.
But I'm with you...I'm with you
now...

The OLD MAN tries to speak...but cannot. MICHAEL tenderly
puts his finger to his FATHER's lips.

EXT NITE: DON'S HOSPITAL STREET (WINTER 1945)

Outside the hospital is empty save for a nervous ENZO,
pacing back and forth brandishly the flowers as his only
weapon. MICHAEL exits the hospital and moves to him. They
both stand under a lamppost in the cold December night.
They are both frightened; MICHAEL gives ENZO a cigarette,
lights it. ENZO's hands are trembling, MICHAEL's are not.

MICHAEL
Get rid of those and look like
you've got a gun in your pocket.

The windows of the hospital twinkle with Christmas
decorations.

MICHAEL
Listen...

We HEAR the sound of a single automobile coming. MICHAEL
and ENZO look with fear in their eyes. Then MICHAEL takes
the bouquet of flowers and stuffs them under his jacket.
They stand, hands in their pockets.

A long low black car turns the corner and cruises by them.
MICHAEL's and ENZO's faces are tough, impassive. The car
seems as though it will stop; and then quickly accelerates.
MICHAEL and ENZO are relieved. MICHAEL looks down; the
BAKER's hands are shaking. He looks at his own, and they
are not.

Another moment goes by and we can hear the distant sound of
police sirens. They are clearly coming toward the hospital,
getting louder and louder. MICHAEL heaves a sigh of relief.

In a second, a patrol car makes a screaming turn in front of
the hospital; then two more squad cars follow with uniformed
POLICE and DETECTIVES. He smiles his relief and starts
toward them. TWO huge, burly POLICEMEN suddenly grab his
arms while ANOTHER frisks him. A massive POLICE CAPTAIN,
spattered with gold braid and scrambled eggs on his hat,
with beefy red face and white hair seems furious. This is
McCLUSKEY.

MCCLUSKEY
I thought I got all you guinea
hoods locked up. Who the hell are
you and what are you doing here?

ANOTHER COP standing nearby:

COP
He's clean, Captain.

MICHAEL studies McCLUSKEY closely.

MICHAEL
(quietly)
What happened to the detectives who
were supposed to be guarding my
father?

MCCLUSKEY
(furious)
You punk-hood. Who the hell are
you to tell me my business. I
pulled them off. I don't care how
many Dago gangsters kill each other.
I wouldn't lift a finger to keep
your old man from getting knocked
off. Now get the hell out of here;
get off this street you punk, and
stay away from this hospital.

MICHAEL stands quiet.

MICHAEL
I'll stay until you put guards
around my father's room.

MCCLUSKEY
Phil, lock this punk up.

A DETECTIVE
The Kid's clean, Captain...He's a
war hero, and he's never been mixed
up in the rackets...

MCCLUSKEY
(furious)
Goddam it, I said lock him up. Put
the cuffs on him.

MICHAEL
(deliberately, right
to McCLUSKEY's face,
as he's being handcuffed)
How much is the Turk paying you to
set my father up, Captain?

Without any warning, McCLUSKEY leans back and hits MICHAEL
squarely on the jaw with all his weight and strength.
MICHAEL groans, and lifts his hand to his jaw. He looks at
McCLUSKEY; we are his VIEW and everything goes spinning, and
he falls to the ground, just as we see HAGEN and CLEMENZA'S
MEN arrive.

---------------------------------------FADE OUT---------

EXT DAY: MALL (WINTER 1945)

HIGH ANGLE VIEW of THE CORLEONE MALL. The gateway now has a
long black car blocking it. There are more BUTTON MEN
stationed more formally; and some of them visibly carrying
rifles; those of the houses close to the courtyard have MEN
standing by open windows. It is clear that the war is
escalating. A car pulls up and out get CLEMENZA, LAMPONE,
MICHAEL and HAGEN. MICHAEL's jaw is wired and bandaged. He
stops and looks up at the open window. We can see MEN
holding rifles.

MICHAEL
Christ, Sonny really means business.

They continue walking. TESSIO joins them. The various
BODYGUARDS make no acknowledgment.

CLEMENZA
How come all the new men?

TESSIO
We'll need them now. After the
hospital incident, Sonny got mad.
We hit Bruno Tattaglia four o'clock
this morning.

INT DAY: DON'S HALLWAY

They enter the house past the scores of new and strange faces.

INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (WINTER 1945)

SONNY is in the DON's office; he is excited and exuberant.

SONNY
I've got a hundred button men on
the streets twenty-four hours a day.
If Sollozzo shows one hair on his
ass he's dead.

He sees MICHAEL, and holds his bandaged face in his hand,
kiddingly.

SONNY
Mikey, you look beautiful!

MICHAEL
Cut it out.

SONNY
The Turk wants to talk! The nerve
of that son of a bitch! After he
craps out last night he wants a meet.

HAGEN
Was there a definite proposal?

SONNY
Sure, he wants us to send Mike to
meet him to hear his proposition.
The promise is the deal will be so
good we can't refuse.

HAGEN
What about that Tattaglias? What
will they do about Bruno?

SONNY
Part of the deal: Bruno cancels out
what they did to my father.

HAGEN
We should hear what they have to say.

SONNY
No, no Consiglere. Not this time.
No more meetings, no more
discussions, no more Sollozzo
tricks. Give them one message: I
WANT SOLLOZZO. If not, it's all
out war. We go to the mattresses
and we put all the button men out
on the street.

HAGEN
The other families won't sit still
for all out war.

SONNY
Then THEY hand me Sollozzo.

HAGEN
Come ON Sonny, your father wouldn't
want to hear this. This is not a
personal thing, this is Business.

SONNY
And when they shot me father...

HAGEN
Yes, even the shooting of your
father was business, not personal...

SONNY
No no, no more advice on how to
patch it up Tom. You just help me
win. Understood?

HAGEN bows his head; he is deeply concerned.

HAGEN
I found out about this Captain
McCluskey who broke Mike's jaw.
He's definitely on Sollozzo's
payroll, and for big money.
McCluskey's agreed to be the Turk's
bodyguard. What you have to
understand is that while Sollozzo
is guarded like this, he's
invulnerable. Nobody has ever
gunned down a New York Police
Captain. Never. It would be
disastrous. All the five families
would come after you Sonny; the
Corleone family would be outcasts;
even the old man's political
protection would run for cover. So
just...take that into consideration.

SONNY
(still fuming)
McCluskey can't stay with the Turk
forever. We'll wait.

MICHAEL
We can't wait. No matter what
Sollozzo say about a deal, he's
figuring out how to kill Pop. You
have to get Sollozzo now.

SONNY
The kid's right.

HAGEN
What about McCluskey?

MICHAEL
Let's say now that we have to kill
McCluskey. We'll clear that up
through our Newspaper contacts later.

SONNY
Go on Mike.

MICHAEL
They want me to go to the conference
with Sollozzo. Set up the meeting
for two days from now. Sonny, get
our informers to find out where the
meeting will be held.
Insist it has to be a public place:
a bar or restaurant at the height
of the dinner hour. So I'll feel
safe. They'll check me when I meet
them so I won't be able to carry a
weapon; but Clemenza, figure out a
way to have one planted there for
me.
(pause)
Then I'll kill them both.

Everyone in the room is astonished; they all look at MICHAEL.
Silence. SONNY suddenly breaks out in laughter. He points
a finger at MICHAEL, trying to speak.

SONNY
You? You, the high-class college
kid. You never wanted to get mixed
up in the family business. Now you
wanta gun down a police Captain and
the Turk just because you got
slapped in the face. You're taking
it personal, it's just business and
he's taking it personal.

Now CLEMENZA and TESSIO are also smiling; only HAGEN keeps
his face serious.

MICHAEL
(angrily, but cold)
Sonny, it's all personal, and I
learned it from him, the old man,
the Godfather. He took my joining
the Marines personal. I take
Sollozzo trying to kill my father
personal, and you know I'll kill
them Sonny.

MICHAEL radiates danger...SONNY stops laughing.

INT DAY: CLEMENZA'S CELLAR (WINTER 1945)

CLOSE on a revolver.

CLEMENZA (O.S.)
It's as cold as they come,
impossible to trace.
(he turns it upside down)
Don't worry about prints Mike, I
put a special tape on the trigger
and butt. Here.
(he hands the gun to
another pair of hands)
Whatsamatter? Trigger too tight.
(it fires: very LOUD)
I left it noisy, so it'll scare any
pain-in-the-neck innocent bystander
away.

MICHAEL is alone with CLEMENZA in a cellar workshop.

CLEMENZA
Just let your hand drop to your
side, and let the gun slip out.
Everybody will still think you got
it. They'll be starin' at your
face, see? Then walk out of the
place real fast, but don't run.
Don't look anybody directly in the
eye, but don't look away from them
neither. Hey, they'll be scared
stiff o you, believe me. Nobody's
gonna bother with you. Don't worry
about nothing; you'd be surprised
how good these things go. O.K.,
put your hat on, let's see how you
look. Helps with identification.

They put the hat on; CLEMENZA adjusts it.

CLEMENZA
Mostly it gives witnesses an excuse
to change their identification when
we make them see the light. Then
you take a long vacation and we
catch the hell.

MICHAEL
How bad will it be?

CLEMENZA
Probably all the other families
will line up against us. But, it's
alright. These things have to
happen once every ten years or
so...gets rid of the bad blood.
You gotta stop 'em at the beginning.
Like they shoulda stopped Hitler at
Munich, they shoulda never let him
get away with that, they were just
asking for big trouble...

INT DAY: DON'S HALL & LIVING ROOM (WINTER 1945)

MICHAEL steps into the foyer of the main house. A card
table is set up with a man playing cards with three of the
Corleone buttonmen.

He continues into the living room. It's a mess. SONNY
asleep on the sofa. On the coffee table are the remains of
a take-out Chinese food dinner, and a half-empty bottle of
whisky. The radio is playing.

MICHAEL
Why don't you stop living like a
bum and get this place cleaned up.

SONNY
What are you, inspecting the
barracks?
(SONNY sits up with
his head in his hands)
You ready? Did Clemenza tell you
be sure to drop the gun right away?

MICHAEL
A million times.

SONNY
Sollozzo and McCluskey are going to
pick you up in an hour and a half
on Times Square, under the big
Camels sign.

HAGEN
We don't let Mike go until we have
the hostage, Sonny.

CLEMENZA
It's okay...the hostage is outside
playing pinochle with three of my
men.

The phone rings in the DON's office.

SONNY
That could be a Tattaglia informer
with the meeting place.

INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (WINTER 1945)

HAGEN has hurried into the Den to get the phone; the OTHERS
move in.

HAGEN's on the phone; he writes something down.

SONNY
One of Tattaglia's people?

HAGEN
No. Our informer in McCluskey's
precinct. Tonight at 8:00 he
signed out for Louis' Restaurant in
the Bronx. Anyone know it.

TESSIO
Sure, I do. It's perfect for us.
A small family place with big
booths where people can talk in
private. Good food. Everybody
minds their business. Perfect.
(he moves to the desk
and makes a crude drawing)
This is the entrance, Mike. When
you finish just walk out and turn
left, then turn the corner.
Clemenza, you gotta work fast to
plant the gun. They got an old-
fashioned toilet with a space
between the water container and the
wall. We can tape the gun behind
there.

CLEMENZA
Mike, they're gonna frisk you in
the car. You'll be clean so they
won't worry 'bout nothing. In the
restaurant, wait and talk a while,
and then ask permission to go. See?
Then when you come out, don't waste
time; don't sit down...you come out
blasting. And don't take chances.
In the head, two shots apiece. And
out as fast as your legs can move.

SONNY
I want somebody very good, very
safe to plant that gun. I don't
want my brother coming out of that
toilet with just his dick in his
hand.

CLEMENZA
The gun will be there.

SONNY
(to MICHAEL, warmly)
You're on, kid...I'll square it
with Mom your not seeing her before
you left. And I'll get a message
to your girl friend when I think
the time is right.

CLEMENZA
We gotta move...

MICHAEL
O.K. How long do you think before
I can come back?

SONNY
Probably a year...

HAGEN
(starting to crack)
Jesus, I don't know...

SONNY
Can you do it Mike?

MICHAEL moves out.

EXT NITE: CAMELS SIGN (WINTER 1945)

The enormous "CAMELS" sign, puffing smoke, below it stands
MICHAEL, dressed in a warm overcoat, and wearing the hat
CLEMENZA had given him. A long black car pulls around the
corner and slows before him. The DRIVER, leaning over, open
the front door.

DRIVER
Get in, Mike.

He does, the car drives off.

EXT NITE: SOLLOZZO'S CAR (WINTER 1945)

Inside the car, SOLLOZZO reaches his hand over the back seat
and shakes MIKE's hand.

SOLLOZZO
I'm glad you came, Mike. I hope we
can straighten everything out. All
this is terrible, it's not the way
I wanted things to happen at all.
It should never have happened.

MICHAEL
I want to settle things tonight. I
want my father left alone.

SOLLOZZO
He won't be; I swear to you be my
children he won't be. Just keep an
open mind when we talk. I hope
you're not a hothead like your
brother, Sonny. It's impossible to
talk business with him.

McCLUSKEY grunts.

MCCLUSKEY
He's a good kid. He's all right.
Turn around, up on your knees,
facing me.

He gives MICHAEL a thorough frisk.

MCCLUSKEY
I'm sorry about the other night
Mike. I'm getting too old for my
job, too grouchy. Can't stand the
aggravation. You know how it is.
He's clean.

EXT NITE: SOLLOZZO'S CAR - WEST SIDE HIGHWAY (WINTER 1945)

MICHAEL looks at the DRIVER and then ahead to see where
they're heading.

The car takes the George Washington Bridge. MICHAEL is
concerned.

MICHAEL
We're going to New Jersey?

SOLLOZZO
(sly)
Maybe.

MICHAEL closes his eyes.

EXT NITE: SOLLOZZO'S CAR ON G.W. BRIDGE (WINTER 1945)

The car speeds along the George Washington Bridge on its way
to New Jersey. Then suddenly it hits the divider,
temporarily lifts into the air, and bounces over into the
lanes going back to New York. It then hits it very fast, on
the way back to the city.

EXT NITE: SOLLOZZO'S CAR (WINTER 1945)

SOLLOZZO checks to see the cars that had been following, and
then leans to the DRIVER.

SOLLOZZO
Nice work; I'll remember it.

MICHAEL is relieved.

EXT NITE: LUNA AZURA RESTAURANT (WINTER 1945)

The car pulls up in front of a little family restaurant in
the Bronx: The "LUNA AZURA". There is no one on the street.
MICHAEL looks to see if the DRIVER is going to get out with
them. He gets out, and opens the door. SOLLOZZO, McCLUSKEY
and MICHAEL get out; the DRIVER remains leaning against the
car. They enter the restaurant.

INT NITE: LUNA AZURA (WINTER 1945)

A very small family restaurant with a mosaic tile floor.
SOLLOZZO, MICHAEL and McCLUSKEY sit around a rather small
round table near the center of the room. There are empty
booths along the side walls; with a handful of CUSTOMERS,
and ONE or TWO WAITERS. It is very quiet.

MCCLUSKEY
Is the Italian food good here?

SOLLOZZO
Try the veal; it's the finest in
New York.

The solitary WAITER brings a bottle of wine to the table.
They watch him silently as he uncorks it and pours three
glasses. Then, when he leaves, SOLLOZZO turns to McCLUSKEY:

SOLLOZZO
I am going to talk Italian to Mike.

MCCLUSKEY
Sure, you two go right ahead; I'll
concentrate on my veal and my
spaghetti.

SOLLOZZO now begins in rapid Sicilian. MICHAEL listening
carefully and nodding every so often. Then MICHAEL answers
in Sicilian, and SOLLOZZO goes on. The WAITER occasionally
brings food; and they hesitate while he is there; then go on.
Then MICHAEL, having difficulty expressing himself in
Italian, accidentally lapses into English.

MICHAEL
(using English for emphasis)
Most important...I want a sure
guarantee that no more attempts
will be made on my father's life.

SOLLOZZO
What guarantees can I give you? I
am the hunted one. I've missed my
chance. You think too highly of
me, my friend...I am not so
clever...all I want if a truce...

MICHAEL looks long and hard at SOLLOZZO, who is smiling
holding his open hands up as if to say: "I have no tricks up
my sleeve". Then he looks away and makes a distressed look
on his face.

SOLLOZZO
What is it?

MICHAEL
Is it all right if I go to the
bathroom?

SOLLOZZO is intuitively suspicious. He studies MICHAEL with
his dark eyes. Then he thrusts his hand onto MICHAEL's
thigh feeling in and around, searching for a weapon.

MCCLUSKEY
I frisked him; I've frisked
thousands of young punks; he's clean.

He looks at a MAN sitting at a table opposite them;
indicating the bathroom with his eyes. The MAN nods,
indicating no one is there.

SOLLOZZO
Don't take too long.

MICHAEL gets up and calmly walks to the bathroom, and
disappears inside.

INT NITE: LUNA AZURA TOILET (WINTER 1945)

MICHAEL steps into the small bathroom; he is breathing very
hard. He actually uses the urinal. Then he washes his
hands with the bar of pink soap; and dries them thoroughly.
Then he moves to the booth, up to the old-fashioned toilet.
Slowly he reaches behind the water tank; he panics when he
cannot feel the gun. We see behind the tank his hand is
just a few inches from the gun...he gropes
searchingly...finally coming to rest on the gun.

CLOSE ON MICHAEL; the feel of it reassures him. Then he
breaks it loose from the tape holding it; he takes a deep
breath and shoves it under his waistband. For some
unexplainable reason he hesitates once again, deliberately
washes his hands and dries them. Then he goes out.

INT NITE: LUNA AZURA (WINTER 1945)

He hesitates by the bathroom door; and looks at his table.
McCLUSKEY is eating a plate of spaghetti and veal. SOLLOZZO
turns around upon hearing the door, and looks directly at
MICHAEL. MICHAEL looks back. Then he smiles and continues
back to the table. He sits down.

MICHAEL
Now I can talk. I feel much better.

The MAN by the far wall had been stiff with attention; now
he too relaxes. SOLLOZZO leans toward MICHAEL who sits down
comfortably and his hands move under the table and unbutton
his jacket. SOLLOZZO begins to speak in Sicilian once again
but MICHAEL's heart is pounding so hard he can barely hear
him.

The WAITER comes to ask about the order, SOLLOZZO turns to
speak, and without warning, MICHAEL shoves the table away
from him with his left hand, and with his right hand puts
the gun right against SOLLOZZO's head, just touching his
temple. He pulls the trigger, and we see part of SOLLOZZO's
head blown away, and a spray of fine mist of blood cover the
entire area.

The WAITER looks in amazement; suddenly his white jacket is
sprayed and stained with blood.

SOLLOZZO seems in a perpetual fall to the floor; through he
seems to hang in space suspended.

MICHAEL pivots, and looks:

There is McCLUSKEY, frozen, the fork with a piece of veal
suspended in air before his gaping mouth.

MICHAEL fires; catching McCLUSKEY in his thick bulging
throat. He makes a horrible, gagging, choking sound. Then
coolly, and deliberately, MICHAEL fires again, fires right
through McCLUSKEY's white-topped skull.

The air is filled with pink mist.
MICHAEL swings toward the MAN standing by the bathroom wall.
He does not make a move, seemingly paralyzed.
Now he carefully shows his hands to be empty.
The WAITER steps backward through the mist of blood, an
expression of horror on his face.
MICHAEL looks at his two victims:
SOLLOZZO still in his chair, side of his body propped up by
the table.
McCLUSKEY finally falls from the chair to the table.
MICHAEL is wildly at a peak. He starts to move out. His
hand: is frozen by his side, STILL GRIPPING THE GUN.
He moves, not letting the gun go.

MICHAEL's face; frozen in its expression.

His hand: still holding the gun.

His face: finally he closes his eyes.

His hand relaxes, the gun falls to the floor with a dull thud.

He walks quickly out of the restaurant, looks back.

He sees a frozen tableau of the murder; as though it had
been recreated in wax.

Then he leaves.

---------------------------------------FADE OUT---------

FADE IN:

INT DAY: MATTRESS (WINTER 1945)

A MAN is his shirtsleeves plays a sentimental tune on an old
upright piano, while his cigarette burns on the edge.
ANOTHER stands nearby, listening quietly.

A little distance away, TEN MEN sit around a crude table,
quietly eating. They talk in low, relaxed voices, and there
is an occasional laugh.

ROCCO LAMPONE stands by a window, which has been covered
with a heavy-mesh wire grating, gazing out.

A large bowl of pasta is passed, and the MEN eat heartily.

The sentimental tune is continued over the following:

INT DAY: BODIES IN CAR (WINTER 1945)

A MAN and a WOMAN, blood coming out of their noses, lie
still together in a bullet-riddled automobile.

INT DAY: BODY IN BARBER SHOP (WINTER 1945)

A MAN is covered by a sheet on the floor of a barber shop.

INT DAY: MATTRESS

Ten mattresses are spread out around the otherwise empty
living room of an apartment. THREE or FOUR MEN including
CLEMENZA, are taking naps.

An arsenal of hand guns are spread out on a card table.

The MEN at the table continue their dinner; passing and
pouring the wine.

Trash is thrown in 2 or 3 garbage cans kept in the apartment.

INT DAY: BODY IN OFFICE (WINTER 1945)

A MAN, his clothes soaked in blood, lies on the floor of an
office building, dead, under an enormous portrait of Harry S.
Truman.

EXT DAY: BODY ON STOOP (WINTER 1945)

ANOTHER MAN, his trousers soaked in blood, lies spanning
three steps of a front stoop.

INT NITE: MATTRESS (WINTER 1945)

TESSIO, sits in a simple straight-backed chair, doing a
crossword puzzle.

A thin, boyish BUTTON MAN, writes a letter.

Six or seven empty mattresses, with tossed unmade blankets.
Coffee cans beside them serve as ash trays.

A MAN by the table pulls the cork on another bottle of
Ruffino, and wine is poured as the MEN eat.

EXT DAY: BODY IN ALLEY (WINTER 1945)

A CORPSE is half out of an overturned garbage can in a quiet
alley.

INT DAY: BODY AT TABLE (WINTER 1945)

A MAN in a formal jacket and tie is slumped over a table, in
a pool of blood on the tablecloth.

INT DAY: MATTRESS (WINTER 1945)

A neatly stacked pile of newspapers in the corner of an
apartment. We catch a glimpse of one headline: "Five Family
War..."

The table. The MEN are sitting around cracking nuts. ONE
has fallen asleep on his arms at the table.

SEVERAL MEN are taking naps on the Mattresses.

The PIANO PLAYER finishes the tune with finesse. Picks up
and takes a drag from his cigarette. The OTHER MAN nods
appreciatively.

MAN
Nice Augie...nice.

EXT DAY: MANCINI BLDG. (SPRING '46)

Several cars are parked in front of a pleasant New York
apartment building. We recognize a couple of SONNY's
bodyguards loafing by the cars, pitching playing cards
against the curb.

Inside the building, two others wait quietly by the rows of
brass mailboxes: they have been there quite awhile.

Up one flight of stairs, a single man sits on the step,
smoking a cigarette.

One of the men by the mailboxes checks his pocketwatch,
which is attached to a key chain. We HEAR the sound of a
door opening; they look up.

The man sitting on the stop stands; and looks.

SONNY backs out of an apartment, the arms of LUCY MANCINI
wrapped around him. She doesn't want to let go of him; she
draws him back into the apartment for a moment, and then he
comes out alone, adjusting his clothes.

He jauntily skips down the steps, trailed by the bodyguard
on the first floor, and moves outside toward his car. The
men quickly take up their positions. As he gets in his car:

DRIVER
Pick up your sister?

SONNY
Yeah.

The car drives off; accompanied and escorted by the
bodyguards in their cars.

INT DAY: CONNIE'S HALL (SPRING '46)

He knocks on the door. No answer. Then again.

CONNIE'S VOICE
Who is it?

SONNY
It's me, Sonny.

We hear the bolt slide back, and see the door open. SONNY
enters, but CONNIE has quickly moved into the hallway, her
back to him.

SONNY
(tenderly)
Connie, what is it?

He turns her around in his arms.

Her face is swollen and bruised; and we can tell from her
rough, red eyes that she has been crying for a long time.
As soon as he realizes what's happened, his face goes red
with rage. She sees it coming, and clings to him, preventing
him from running out of the apartment.

CONNIE
(desperately)
It was my fault! I started a fight
with him and I tried to hit him so
he hit me. He didn't even try to
hit me hard Sonny, I walked into it.

Sonny listens, and calms himself. He touches her shoulder,
the thin silk robe.

SONNY
I'm goin' to have the doctor come
over and take a look at you.

He starts to leave.

CONNIE
Oh Sonny, please don't do anything.
Please don't.

He stops, and then laughs good naturedly.

SONNY
Hey. Con. What'm I goin' to do?
Make your kid a orphan before he's
born.

She laughs with him. He kisses her reassuringly, and leaves.

EXT DAY: CONNIE'S STREET

CARLO settles down on the front steps of the 112th St.
"Book" with SALLY RAGS and COACH, who have been drinking
beer out of glasses and a pitcher of beer from around the
corner. The ball game is blaring from the radio; and the
kids on the street are still playing stickball.

CARLO has barely settled down, when the kids in the street
suddenly scatter, and a car comes screeching up the block
and to a halt in front of the candy store. The tires
scream, and before it seems as though it has even stopped, a
MAN comes hurtling out of the driver's seat, moving so fast
the everyone is paralyzed. It is a moment before we
recognize that it is SONNY.

His face is contorted with anger; in a split second he is on
the stoop and has CARLO by the throat.

He pulls CARLO away from the others, trying to get him down
into the street. But CARLO reaches out for the iron railing,
and hangs on, his hand in a lock, cringing away, trying to
hide his head and face in the hollow of the his shoulders.
His shirt is ripped away in SONNY's hand.

SALLY RAGS and COACH, merely sit, watching, stunned.

SONNY is pounding the cowered CARLO with all his strength,
in a continuous monologue of indistinguishable cursing. His
blows are powerful; and begin to draw blood.

The kids who have been playing stickball, move up, watching
in fascination.

CARLO's hands are clenched tight around the railing.

SONNY beats him mercilessly.

Now SONNY's bodyguards' car pulls up, and they too become
spectators.

SONNY's tight fists are going down like hammers, into
CARLO's face and body.

CARLO's nose is bleeding profusely; but still he does
nothing, other than hang onto the railing.

SONNY grabs hold of CARLO's massive body, and tries to drag
him off of the hold on the railing, his teeth clenched in
the effort. Then he tries loosening CARLO's locked hands;
even biting them. CARLO screams but he does not let go.

It's clear that CARLO is much stronger than he is, and will
not be moved. SONNY knees him in the mouth, and beats him
more; but he is exhausted. Totally out of breath, he
stammers haltingly to the bleeding CARLO.

SONNY
You...bastard...You...hurt my
sister... again...and I'll
kill...you.

He wipes the sweat from his face, and then turns suddenly.
and hurries back to the car, in a moment his car is gone,
leaving even his bodyguards in confusion. We notice ONE MAN
with a sports jacket in the group of spectators especially
interested.

CARLO finally relaxes the clenched, locked hands. He slumps
onto the stoop.

---------------------------------------FADE OUT---------

FADE IN:

EXT DAY: MALL (SPRING 1946)

HIGH ANGLE on the Corleone Mall. It is a gray, rainy day.
Young BUTTON MEN in raincoats stand in quiet groups of
various points around the main house and compound. Things
have changed; one house has been extensively enlarged; a new
and secure gate house has been built. Security measures
that had been make-shift and temporarily have now been made
a permanent part of the Mall, evolving it into a Medieval
Fortress. We notice a huge crater in the courtyard; the
result of a recent bomb attempt. The house nearest the
crater is damaged by fire.

A taxi arrives; KAY ADAMS steps out, huddled in a bright
yellow raincoat; she lets the cab go, and hurries to the
shelter of the gate house.

They are not expecting her, and ask her to wait while they
call the main house.

KAY looks at the imposing, depressing Mall, while rain still
runs down onto her face.

She notices the bomb crater, and the fire damage; and the
sullen faces of the BUTTON MEN.

TOM HAGEN exits the Main House, and hurries toward her.

HAGEN
Kay, we weren't expecting you. You
should call...

KAY
I've tried calling and writing. I
want to reach Michael.

HAGEN
Nobody knows where he is. We know
he's all right, but that's all.

KAY looks in the direction of the crater, filling with
rainwater.

KAY
What was that?

HAGEN
An accident. No one was hurt.

KAY
Listen Tom, I let my cab go; can I
come in to call another one?

TOM is clearly reluctant to involve her any more than he has
to.

HAGEN
Sure...I'm sorry.

They hurry through the rain and into the Main House.

INT DAY: DON'S LIVING ROOM (SPRING 1946)

In the living room, KAY shakes the water from her coat and
takes her rainhat off.

KAY
Will you give this to him.

HAGEN
If I accept that letter and you
told a Court of Law I accepted it,
they would interpret it as my
having knowledge of his whereabouts.
Just wait Kay, he'll contact you.

We hear footsteps descending the staircase; MAMA CORLEONE
enters the room; the OLD WOMAN squints at KAY, evaluating her.

MAMA
You're Mikey's little girl.

KAY nods yes; there are still tears in her eyes.

MAMA
You eat anything?

KAY shakes her head.

MAMA
(to HAGEN)
Disgrazia, you don't even give the
poor girl a cup of coffee?

HAGEN shrugs helplessly; on an impulse, KAY quickly moves
toward MAMA, the letter extended.

KAY
Will you give this letter to Michael.

HAGEN
Mama, no.

MAMA
You tell me what to do? Even he
don't tell me what to do.

She takes the letter from KAY, who is grateful and relieved.

KAY
Why did they blame Michael?

MAMA
You listen to me, you go home to
your family, and you find a good
young man and get married. Forget
about Mikey; he's no good for you,
anymore.

She looks directly into KAY's eyes; and KAY understands what
that means.

EXT DAY: DON'S HOSPITAL (SPRING 1946)

A hospital in New York City. POLICE and teams of PRIVATE
DETECTIVES are stationed guarding the area. An ambulance
with a team of DETECTIVES and BUTTON-MEN GUARDS exit the
hospital with rifles in hand; followed by SEVERAL HOSPITAL
ASSISTANTS wheeling a hospital stretcher, presumably carrying
the DON.

TESSIO and CLEMENZA emerge, with OTHER BUTTON MEN bringing
up the rear. HAGEN walks with the stretcher, and for a
moment they disappear behind the ambulance. Then suddenly,
siren blasting, it speeds off, accompanied by dark low-slung
cars.

EXT DAY: MALL (SPRING 1946)

The Corleone Mall.

Equally impressive security stands ready at the Corleone
Mall. EXTRA BUTTON MEN, as well as SOME POLICE, and PRIVATE
DETECTIVES.

It all seems to be under the supervision of ROCCO LAMPONE.
All is silent. The WOMEN and CHILDREN, dressed in Sunday
clothes, wait.

EXT DAY: AMBULANCE (SPRING 1946)

One ambulance, speeding along the Grand Central Parkway,
preceded and followed by a dark car, each one carrying a
team of BUTTON MEN.

Sitting next to the DRIVER of the ambulance is a GUARD with
a rifle on his lap.

INT DAY: DON'S HALL (SPRING 1946)

Inside the Main CORLEONE House:

Hospital ORDERLIES carry the DON on his stretcher carefully
under the watchful eyes of CLEMENZA, TESSIO, LAMPONE and
various GUARDS and BUTTON MEN.

All the CORLEONE family is here today: MAMA, FREDO, SANDRA,
THERESA, CONNIE, CARLO; the various CORLEONE CHILDREN.

INT DAY: DON'S BEDROOM (SPRING 1946)

The DON is made comfortable in his room, which has all but
been converted into a hospital room, with complete and
extensive equipment. The various CHILDREN get a turn to
kiss the OLD MAN, as he is made comfortable... and then
SONNY indicates that all the CHILDREN, WOMEN, and CARLO
should leave.

They do, the door is closed.

INT DAY: DON'S DINING ROOM (SPRING 1946)

The mood is quite happy downstairs, as the WOMEN prepare the
Sunday dinner, and set the table.

CARLO sits alone among them, a frown on his face.

CONNIE
What's the matter, Carlo?

CARLO
Shut up.

INT DAY: DON'S BEDROOM (SPRING 1946)

All the MEN of the family stand around the hospital bed with
grim faces, SONNY and HAGEN closest to the OLD MAN. The DON
does not speak, yet he asks questions with his looks and
glances, as clearly as if they were verbalized. HAGEN is
the spokesman for the family.

HAGEN
...since McCluskey's killing, the
police have cracked down on most of
our operations...on the other
families too. There's been a lot
of bad blood.

The OLD MAN glances at SONNY.

SONNY
Pop, they hit us and we hit them
back.

HAGEN
We put out a lot of material
through our contacts in the
Newspapers...about McCluskey's
being tied up with Sollozzo in the
Drug Rackets...things are starting
to loosen up.

The OLD MAN nods.

SONNY
Freddie's gonna go to Las
Vegas...under the protection of Don
Francesco of L.A. I want him to
rest...

FREDO
I'm goin' to learn the casino
business.

The DON nods approvingly. Then he searches around the room
for a face he does not see. HAGEN knows who he's looking for.

HAGEN
Michael...
(he takes a breath)
It was Michael who killed Sollozzo.

The DON closes his eyes, and then reopens them in anger and
rage.

HAGEN
He's safe now...we're already
working on ways to bring him back.

The DON is very angry, he motions with a weak hand that they
leave him alone.

INT. DAY: DON'S STAIRS AND HALL (SPRING 1946)

HAGEN is very upset as he comes down the Stairs; SONNY is
expansive and optimistic.

SONNY
We'll let the old man take it easy
for a couple of weeks. I want to
get things going good before he
gets better. What's the matter
with you?

HAGEN
You start operating, the five
families will start their raids
again. We're at a stalemate Sonny,
your war is costing us a lot of
money.

SONNY
No more stalemate Tom, we got the
soldiers, we'll match them gun for
gun if that's how they want it.
They know me for what I am, Tom--
and they're scared of me.

HAGEN
Yes. That's true, you're getting a
hell of a reputation.

SONNY
Well it's war! We might not be in
this shape if we had a real war-
time Consiglere, a Sicilian. Pop
had Genco, who do I have?
(TOM starts to leave)
Hey Tom, hey...hey. It's Sunday,
we're gonna have dinner. Don't be
sore.

INT DAY: DON'S DINING ROOM (SPRING 1946)

The FAMILY, WIVES, CHILDREN and all sit around the table
over Sunday dinner. SONNY is at the head of the table.

EXT DAY: MALL (SPRING 1946)

SOME of the CORLEONE GRANDCHILDREN play in the enclosed
Mall, in the proximity of the BUTTON MEN stationed liberally
by the gate.

ONE CHILD misses a ball, it rolls by the gate house. A
young BUTTON MAN scoops it up and throws it back, smiling.

-----------------------------------------FADE OUT-------

INT DAY: CONNIE'S APT. (SPRING 1946)

CONNIE and CARLO's apartment. She's in a slip, on the phone.
We HEAR the shower going in the bathroom.

CONNIE
Who is this?

GIRL (O.S.)
(giggle)
I'm a friend of Carlo's. I just
wanted to tell him I can't see him
tonight; I have to go out of town.

CONNIE's face turns red.

CONNIE
You lousy tramp bitch.
(click)

She slams the phone down; just as CARLO is coming out of the
bathroom drying his golden body.

CARLO
What was that?

CONNIE
Your girl friend. She says she
can't make it tonight. You lousy
bastard you have the nerve to give
your whores my telephone number.
I'll kill you, you bastard!

She hauls off and punches him knowingly; he laughs, so then
she flings herself at him, kicking and scratching; her heavy
belly heaving under the thin slip.

CARLO
(defending himself)
You're crazy. She was kidding
around; I don't know, some nut.

He pushes her aside, and moves into the bedroom to continue
dressing.

CONNIE
You're staying home. You're not
going out.

CARLO
OK, OK. You gonna make me something
to eat at least?

That calms her down; she stands there a moment, breathing
heavily; and then she nods, and goes into the kitchen, and
starts her wifely duties.

CARLO is dressed; puts on some cologne; CONNIE appears in
the doorway.

CONNIE
The food is on the table.

CARLO
I'm not hungry yet.

CONNIE
Eat it, it's on the table.

CARLO
Ba Fa Goulle.

CONNIE
BA FA GOULE YOU!

She turns deliberately, goes out into the kitchen. A moment
later we begin to hear the sound of dishes breaking. CARLO
slowly walks out, where we can see CONNIE systematically
smashing all the dishes against the sink, sending the greasy
veal and peppers all over the apartment floor.

CARLO
You filthy guinea spoiled brat.
Clean it up or I'll kick your head
in.

CONNIE
Like hell I will.

She stands there, solid, ready to punch him again. Slowly,
he slides his belt out of his trousers, and doubles it in
his hand.

CARLO
Clean it up!

He swings the belt against her heavy hips. She moves back
into the kitchen, and gets a kitchen knife, and holds it
ready.

CARLO
Even the female Corleones are
murderers.

He puts the strap down on a table, and moves after her. She
makes a sudden thrust at his groin, which he avoids. He
pulls the knife away, cutting his hand in the process. She
gets away momentarily, but he pursues her around the table,
gets her; and starts to slap her in the face.

She breaks away from him, and rushes into the bedroom.

CONNIE
The baby! The baby!

INT DAY: CONNIE'S BEDROOM (SPRING 1946)

She runs into the bedroom; he follows. She moves into a
corner, and then like a desperate animal, tries to hide
under the bed.

He reaches under, and pulls her out by the hair.

He slaps her in the face until she begins to weep; then he
throws her on the bed, contemptuously. He grabs part of her
thigh, pinching it very hard.

CARLO
You're fat as a pig.

Then he pushes her away, and walks out of the room, leaving
her in tears. She is crying; she pulls herself to the
bedroom phone, and in a whisper:

CONNIE
Mama...mama, it's Connie. Mama, I
can't talk any louder. No, I don't
want to talk to Sonny.

We can tell that the phone has been passed to SONNY.

INT DAY: DON'S KITCHEN (SPRING 1946)

In the kitchen at the Mall, MAMA cannot understand the
whispering and she has given the phone to SONNY.

SONNY
Yeah Connie.

CONNIE (O.S.)
Sonny, just send a car to bring me
home. I'll tell you then, it's
nothing Sonny, don't you come.
Send TOM, please Sonny, it's
nothing; I just want to come home.

SONNY's face is turning red.

SONNY
(in a controlled voice)
You wait there. You just wait there.

He hangs up the phone; and just stands there for a moment.

SONNY
(quietly)
That sonofabitch; that sonofabitch...

HAGEN enters the room; he knows what is happening, knows he
cannot interfere.

EXT DAY: MALL

SONNY leaves the house. HAGEN moves to the outside mall
just as SONNY's car is driving off. He moves to a group of
BUTTON MEN.

HAGEN
Go after him.

EXT DAY: CAUSEWAY (SPRING 1946)

SONNY's car on the Jones Beach Causeway, speeds quickly by.
After a pause, another car, with the CORLEONE BODYGUARDS, is
trailing.

SONNY is driving; he is very angry.

EXT NITE: TOLL BOOTHS (SPRING 1946)

SONNY in his car; driving back. Still breathing hard and
still furious. Then he thinks it's funny; he enjoyed it.
He starts laughing, louder and louder, as he pulls up to a
toll booth, stops, and extends his hand with a coin to the
COLLECTOR.

---------------------------------------FADE OUT---------

FADE IN:

INT NITE: AMERIGO BONASERA'S APARTMENT

The serious-faced UNDERTAKER is on the telephone.

HAGEN (O.S.)
This is Tom Hagen. I'm calling for
Don Corleone, at his request.

BONASERA looks at his WIFE, with deep anxiety in his eyes.
BONASERA's lips are suddenly dry.

BONASERA
Yes, I understand. I'm listening.

HAGEN (O.S.)
You owe the Don a service. In one
hour, not before, perhaps later, he
will be at your funeral parlor to
ask for your help. Be there to
greet him. If you have any
objections speak now, and I'll
inform him.

Silence. BONASERA stutters, then speaks in fright.

BONASERA
Anything...Anything the Godfather
wishes.

HAGEN (O.S.)
Good. He never doubted you.

BONASERA
The Don himself is coming to me
tonight?

HAGEN (O.S.)
Yes.
(click)

BONASERA is sweating; slowly he lowers the phone; his WIFE
sees his pale expression, and follows him into the room.

Silently, he begins the ritual of dressing. His WIFE knows
something serious is happening, and never takes her eyes
from him. He lights a cigarette.

BONASERA
For the last year, they have been
killing one another. So now, what?
Your Godfather comes to me...Why?
(whispering, slyly)
They've killed someone so important
that they wish to make his body
disappear.

MRS. BONASERA
(frightened)
Amerigo!

BONASERA
They could make me an accomplice to
their murder. They could send me
to jail!

He slips into his trousers. Then he moves to his WIFE to
tie his tie, as she has done for years.

BONASERA
And if the other families find
out...they will make me their enemy.
They could come here to our house.
I curse the day I ever went to the
Godfather.

EXT NITE: FUNERAL PARLOR (SPRING 1946)

With his ring of keys, he opens the funeral parlor, enters.

INT NITE: FUNERAL PARLOR (SPRING 1946)

BONASERA walks through the darkened funeral parlor, without
turning on the lights; then into the rear, preparation room,
past the tables, and equipment. He operates the chain that
lifts a large overhead garage type door. And looks out into
the alley.

He sits on a bench, and waits.

EXT NITE: FUNERAL PARLOR ALLEY (SPRING 1946)

The tires of a car roll very quietly along the small alley;
we notice a dark car approach the rear of BONASERA's funeral
parlor.

CLEMENZA gets out, and moves to the open, rear door.
BONASERA greets him, too petrified to speak. He notices TWO
OTHER MEN get out of the car, and carry a stretcher with a
CORPSE swaddled in a gray blanket, with yellowed feet
protruding.

BONASERA closes his eyes in fear, but indicates which way
the MEN should carry their sinister burden.

INT NITE: FUNERAL PARLOR EMBALMING ROOM (SPRING 1946)

They carry the CORPSE to one of the tables in the embalming
room.

Then BONASERA turns to see ANOTHER MAN step out of the
darkness somewhat uncertainly. It is DON CORLEONE.

He walks up to BONASERA, very close, without speaking. His
cold eyes looking directly at the frightened UNDERTAKER.
Then, after a long gaze:

DON CORLEONE
Well my friend, are you ready to do
me this service?

BONASERA nods. The DON moves to the CORPSE on the embalming
table; he makes a gesture, and the OTHER MEN leave them alone.

BONASERA
What do you wish me to do?

DON CORLEONE
(staring at the table)
I want you to use all your powers,
all your skill, as you love me. I
do not want his mother to see him
as he is.

He draws down the gray blanket.

BONASERA lets out a gasp of horror at what he sees:

The bullet-smashed face of SONNY CORLEONE.

EXT NITE: TOLL BOOTHS (SPRING 1946)

SONNY extends his hand with a coin at the toll booth.

A car suddenly swerves in front of him, trapping him in the
booth, and in incredible rally of machine gun fire greets
him, coming through and smashing the windows of the toll
booths on both side of him, and from the front window of the
car blocking him.

The windows of his car are shot out.

Bullet holes puncture the doors of his car.

His hand, with the coin in it, falls inside the car.

His arms, shoulders are riddled by the fire, and still it
continues, as though the ASSASSINS cannot take a chance that
he will survive it.

Suddenly, he lets out an enormous ROAR, like a bull, and
actually, opens the door, and steps out of the car, UNDER
fire.

His face is hit; and finally he falls to the ground.

A FULL SHOT...as the ASSASSINS scramble for their cars and
make off in the distance.

SONNY's BODYGUARDS stop a safe distance away, realizing they
are too late.

INT NITE: DON'S LIVING ROOM (SPRING 1946)

View on HAGEN's ashen face in the living room. He is silent
a moment, and then:

HAGEN
(quietly)
OK. Go to Clemenza's house and
tell him to come here right away.
He'll tell you what to do.

The MEN leave him alone. He is quiet, standing in the
middle of the living room a moment. He looks in the
direction of the kitchen, where he can see fragments of MAMA
moving around.

INT NITE: UPSTAIRS (SPRING 1946)

TOM proceeds up stairs, and quietly in the direction of the
DON's room. He opens the DON's door. Looks in.

INT NITE: DON'S BEDROOM (SPRING 1946)

The DON in his hospital bed. Asleep under sedation. HAGEN
hesitates. He cannot go in; he cannot tell the OLD MAN. He
closes the door.

INT NITE: DON'S OFFICE (SPRING 1946)

HAGEN alone in the office. He is drinking. He looks up at
the sound of cars; the CAPOREGIMES are arriving. Then he
hears footsteps.

The door opens; and in a robe, with slippers, DON CORLEONE
slowly enters the room. He walks directly to his stuffed
armchair, sits down. His face is stern, as he looks into
HAGEN's eyes.

DON CORLEONE
Give me a drop of anisette.

HAGEN rises, and pours a glass for the OLD MAN.

DON CORLEONE
My wife was weeping before she fell
asleep, outside my window I saw my
caporegimes to the house, and it is
midnight. So, Consigliere of mine,
I think you should tell your Don
what everyone knows.

HAGEN
(quietly)
I didn't tell Mama anything. I was
about to come up and wake you and
tell you. Just now.

DON CORLEONE
But you needed a drink first.

HAGEN
Yes.

DON CORLEONE
Now you've had your drink.

Pause.

HAGEN
They shot Sonny on the Causeway.
(pause)
He's dead.

DON CORLEONE blinks. One feels that just for a second he
loses all physical strength; he clasps his hands in front of
him on the top of the desk and looks into HAGEN's eyes.

DON CORLEONE
I want no inquiries made. No acts
of vengeance.
(pause)
Consigliere, arrange a meeting with
the heads of the five
families...this war stops now.

He rises and unsteadily leaves the room, turns...

DON CORLEONE
Call Bonasera...he will do me a
service.

And leaves. HAGEN moves to the phone; dials...

HAGEN
This is Tom Hagen; I'm calling for
Don Corleone, at his request.

BONASERA (O.S.)
Yes, I understand I'm listening.

HAGEN
You owe the Don a service. He has
no doubt that you will repay it.

EXT DAY: BANK BUILDING (SPRING 1946)

Day in Manhattan. An impressive Bank Building in the
financial center of New York. Many limousines are parked,
uniforms and plain-clothed CHAUFFEURS waiting quietly.

INT DAY: BOARD ROOM (SPRING 1946)

The Board Room of a bank, daylight shines in the windows.

CARLO TRAMONTI, an impressive, handsome middle-aged man,
sits quietly, smoking a Di Napoli cigar, OUR VIEW moves to a
MAN sitting to his left, and a little to the rear, and
settles on JOSEPH ZALUCHI, a moon-faced amiable-looking man;
as the view continues, around the table, we HEAR:

DON CORLEONE (O.S.)
I want to thank you all for coming.
I consider it a service done to me
personally and I am in the debt of
each and every one of you.
Especially those of you who have
traveled from such distances as
California, St. Louis, Kansas City;
and New Orleans...

The VIEW PASSES to FRANK FALCONE and ANTHONY MOLINARI, both
younger than any of the others; then on to DOMENICK PANZA,
short and squat sitting in a wheelchair; then around the
table to DON VINCENENZO FORLENZA, who is whispering to his
JEWISH ASSISTANT; the VIEW PASSES on to ANTHONY STRACCI, an
older man, sipping from a drink and smoking a cigar; OTTILIO
CUNEO, in his middle sixties with a jolly round face; then
DON PHILLIP TATTAGLIA, a delicate older man with dyed hair
and a pencil mustache; and finally, EMILIO BARZINI, in his
early sixties, a man to 'respect'; whom we had seen at
CONNIE's Wedding.

DON CORLEONE
Ah well, let's get down to business.
We are all honorable men here, we
don't have to give assurances as if
we were lawyers.
(he sits, gazes out
at them, and sighs)
How did things ever go so far?
Well, no matter. A lot of
foolishness has come to pass. It
was so unfortunate, so unnecessary.

The VIEW examines the room once again, as the DON speaks. A
large, clicking board is changing numbers at various times,
and two tapes, showing the fluctuations of the Market during
the day's trading, and projected above.

DON CORLEONE pauses; and TOM HAGEN hands him a cold drink.

DON CORLEONE
Tattaglia has lost a son; I have
lost a son. We are quits. Let
there be a peace...
(he gestures
expressively,
submissively, with
his hands)
That is all I want...

BARZINI
Don Corleone is too modest. He had
the judges and politicians in his
pocket and he refused to share them.
His refusal is not the act of a
friend. He takes the bread out of
the mouths of our families. Times
have changed, it's not like the old
days where everyone can go his own
way. If Don Corleone had all the
judges and politicians in New York,
then he must share them or let
others use them. Certainly he can
present a bill for such services,
we're not Communists, after all.
But he has to let us draw water
from the well. It's that simple.

DON CORLEONE
My friends, I didn't refuse out of
malice. You all know me. When
have I ever refused an accommodation?
But why, this time? Because I
think this drug business will
destroy us in the years to come.
It's not like whiskey or gambling
or even women which most people
want and is forbidden them by the
pezzonovante of the Church and the
Government. But drugs? No. Even
policemen, who help us in gambling
and other things would refuse to
help us in drugs. But...I am
willing to do whatever all of you
think is necessary.

DON ZALUCHI
I don't believe in drugs. For
years I paid my people extra so
they wouldn't do that kind of
business...$200 a week. But it
didn't matter. Somebody comes to
them and says, "I have powders, if
you put up three, four thousand
dollar investment, we can make
fifty thousand distributing." Who
can resist such a profit?
There's no way to control it, as a
business...to keep it respectable.
(rapping the table)
I don't want it near schools! I
don't want it sold to children.
That is an infamita.
(thinking)
In my city I would try to keep the
traffic in the dark people, the
colored. They are the best
customers, the least troublesome,
and they are animals anyway. They
have no respect for their wives or
their families or themselves. Let
them lose their souls with drugs.
But something has to be done, we
can't have everybody running around
doing just what they please, like a
bunch of anarchists.

BARZINI
Then, are we agreed; the traffic in
drugs will be permitted, but
controlled; and Don Corleone agrees
to give it protection in the East.

DON CORLEONE nods.

BARZINI
That's the whole matter then, we
have the peace, and let me pay my
respects to Don Corleone, whom we
have all known over the years as a
man of his word.
(noticing TATTAGLIA
is uneasy)
Don Philip?

TATTAGLIA
I agree to everything here, I'm
willing to forget my own misfortune.
But I must hear strict assurance
from Corleone. When time goes by
and his position becomes stronger,
will he attempt any individual
vengeance?

They all look at the DON; especially HAGEN, who feels that
DON CORLEONE has given a great deal, and must have something
else in mind. Slowly the DON rises.

DON CORLEONE
I forego my vengeance for my dead
son, for the common good. But I
have selfish reasons. My youngest
son had to flee, accused of
Sollozzo's murder, and I must now
make arrangements so that he can
come home with safety, cleared of
all those false charges. That is
my affair, and I will make those
arrangements.
(with strength)
But I am a superstitious man...and
so if some unlucky accident should
befall my youngest son, if some
police officer should accidentally
shoot him, or if he should hang
himself in his cell, or if my son
is struck by a bolt of lightning,
then I will blame some of the
people here. That, I could never
forgive, but...aside from that, let
me swear by the souls of my
Grandchildren that I will never be
the one to break the peace we have
made.

EXT NITE: DON'S LIMO (SPRING 1946)

The DON's black limousine. He sits quietly in the padded
rear seat; TOM HAGEN next to him.

It is night. Lights flash by them every so often.

HAGEN
When I meet with Tattaglia's
people; should I insist that all
his drug middle-men be clean?

DON CORLEONE
Mention it, don't insist. Barzini
is a man who will know that without
being told.

HAGEN
You mean Tattaglia.

DON CORLEONE
(shaking his head)
Barzini.

HAGEN
(a revelation)
He was the one behind Sollozzo?

DON CORLEONE
Tattaglia is a pimp. He could
never have outfought Santino. But
I wasn't sure until this day. No,
it was Barzini all along.

The black limousine speeds away from us in the night.

------------------------------------------FADE OUT------

FADE IN:

EXT DAY: ESTABLISHING SICILY SHOT

A CLOSE VIEW OF MICHAEL, moving as he walks, sullen and
downcast, the left side of his face healed, but left
grotesque and misshapen.

GRADUALLY, THE VIEW LOOSENS, he wears a warm navy Pea
jacket, and walks with his hands in his pockets.

THE VIEW LOOSENS FURTHER, revealing a Sicilian SHEPHERD on
either side of him, each carrying a shotgun slung over his
shoulder, CALO, a squat and husky young man with a simple
honest quality, and FABRIZZIO, slender and handsome, likable,
and with a pleasing build. Each of the SHEPHERDS carry
knapsacks.

The THREE YOUNG MEN continue over the Sicilian landscape,
overlooking an impressive view of land and sea.

EXT DAY: SICILY ROAD

The THREE move through a flock of wind-blown sheep, and make
their way to a dusty rural road. We HEAR a rinky horn
sound, as a pre-war Italian automobile makes its way to them.
An OLD MAN peeks from the window, waving to MICHAEL. The
car pulls in front of them and stops. MICHAEL nods
respectfully.

MICHAEL
Don Tommassino.

DON TOMMASSINO
Michael, why must you do this. We
have been lucky so far, all these
months you've been here we've kept
your name a secret. It is from
love for your father that I've
asked you never to more than an
hour from the Villa.

MICHAEL
Calo and Fabrizzio are with me;
nothing will happen.

DON TOMMASSINO
You must understand that your
Father's enemies have friends in
Palermo.

MICHAEL
I know.

DON TOMMASSINO
Where are you going?

MICHAEL
Corleone.

DON TOMMASSINO
There is nothing there. Not anymore.

MICHAEL
I was told that my Grandfather was
murdered on its main street; and
his murderers came to kill my
father there when he was twelve
years old.

DON TOMMASSINO
Long ago. Now there is nothing:
the men killed each other in family
vendettas...the others escaped to
America.

MICHAEL
Don Tommassino...I should see this
place.

DON TOMMASSINO thinks a moment, then concedes.

DON TOMMASSINO
That is your birthright...but
Michael, use this car.

MICHAEL
No...I would like to walk to
Corleone.

The OLD MAN sighs, and then returns to his car.

DON TOMMASSINO
Be careful Michael, don't let them
know your name.

The old car sputters off; MICHAEL watches, and then continues
on his journey.

EXT DAY: COUNTRYSIDE

The THREE pass through abundant areas of flowers and fruit
trees, in bloom and bursting with life.

EXT DAY: VILLAGE

They continue in the empty streets of a little town; the
post-war poverty is evident in the skinny dogs; and the
empty streets. Occasionally, a military vehicle, the only
gasoline-powered vehicles on the road, will pass. And there
are many POLICE evident, most of them carrying machine guns.

The THREE pass under an enormous banner slung over the main
road "VOTA COMMUNISTA".

EXT DAY: COUNTRY ROAD

They continue through dusty country roads, where occasionally
a donkey pulling a cart, or a lone horseman will pass them.

EXT DAY: FIELD

Out in a field, in the distance, they come upon a procession
of peasants and activists, perhaps two hundred strong,
marching, and singing, and in the lead, are five or six men
carrying billowing red banners.

EXT DAY: GROVE

They are in an orange grove; on the other side of the trees
is a deep, tall field of wild flowers.

The Shepherds unsling their guns and knapsacks, and take out
loaves of bread, some wine, sausage and cheese.

MICHAEL rests against a tree, and uses his handkerchief.

FABRIZZIO
You tell us about America.

MICHAEL
How do you know I come from America?

FABRIZZIO
We hear. We were told you were a
Pezzonovanta...big shot.

MICHAEL
Only the son of a Pezzonovanta.

FABRIZZIO
Hey America! Is she as rich as
they say?

MICHAEL
Yes.

FABRIZZIO
Take me to America! You need a
good lupara in America?
(pats his shotgun)
You take me, I'll be the best man
you got. "Oh say, can you
seeee...By da star early light..."

MICHAEL laughs.

EXT DAY: ANOTHER ROAD

The TRIO continues down a dirt road, as an American Military
convoy speeds by; FABRIZZIO waves, and calls out to each of
the U.S. drivers, as they move by.

FABRIZZIO
America.
Hey America!
Take me with you!
Hey, take me to America G.I.!

EXT DAY: CORLEONE HILL

They continue their long hike, high on a promentory; until
they hesitate, and look down.

CALO
Corleone.

They can see a grim Sicilian village, almost devoid of people.

EXT DAY: CORLEONE STREET

MICHAEL and his bodyguards move through the empty streets of
the village. They walk behind him, and spread to either
side about fifteen feet away from him.

They move down ancient steps, past an old stone fountain.
MICHAEL hesitates, cups his hands and drinks some water.
They go on.

They move up a very narrow old street. MICHAEL looks at the
doorways that they pass.

MOVING VIEW: Each door has a plaque, with a ribbon or flower.

CALO sees MICHAEL looking.

CALO
The names of the dead.

MICHAEL hesitates in the center of the main street. He looks.

The street is empty, barren. Occasionally, an old woman
will pass.

MICHAEL turns his head.

The other side of the street: empty and deathly.

A HIGH VIEW of MICHAEL standing in the center of the old
street, the shepherds a respectful distance away.

-------------------------------------FADE OUT-----------

EXT DAY: BARONIAL ESTATE

A green ribboned field of a baronial Estate. Further ahead
is a villa so Roman it looks as though it had just been
discovered in the ruins of Pompeii. There is a group of
young village GIRLS accompanied by two stocky MATRONS,
dressed in black. They have been gathering the pink sulla,
purple wisteria, and mixing them with orange and lemon
blossoms. They are singing, off in the distance as they work.

MICHAEL, CALO and FABRIZZIO are silent as they watch this
Fantasy-like scene.

FABRIZZIO
(calling out to them)
Hey, beautiful girls!

MICHAEL
(sternly)
Shhhhh.

He settles down to watch.

The GIRLS are dressed in cheap gaily painted frocks that
cling to their bodies. They are still in their teens, but
developed and womanly.

They are moving along the fields, picking blossoms, not
aware of the three men watching them from the orange grove.
Three or four of the girls begin chasing one of them
playfully, in the direction of the grove.

The GIRL being chased holds a bunch of purple grapes in her
left hand and with the right, picks more grapes, and throws
them back at her pursuers laughing.

They come closer and closer. Just short of the grove, she
poses, startled, her large, oval shaped eyes catching the
view of the THREE MEN. She stands there on her toes about
to run.

MICHAEL sees her; now face to face. He looks.

Her face. Incredibly beautiful with olive skin, black hair
and a rich mouth.

FABRIZZIO
(murmuring)
Jesus Christ, take my soul. I'm
dying.

Quickly, she turns, and runs away.

MICHAEL stands up never taking his eyes from her. We hold
on him for a long while; and eventually hear the SHEPHERDS
laughing. Then he turns to them.

FABRIZZIO
You got hit by the thunderbolt, eh?

CALO pats him on the shoulder.

CALO
Easy man.

MICHAEL
What are you talking about?

FABRIZZIO
You can't hide it when you're hit
by the thunderbolt.

EXT DAY: BARONIAL VILLAGE

The little village built attendant to the Baronial Estate,
is decked with the flowers the girls had been picking.

MICHAEL, followed by the bodyguards, moves into the central
square, and onto the balcony of a little cafe.

The proprietor of the cafe, VITELLI, is a short burly man;
he greets them cheerfully, and sets a dish of chickpeas at
their table.

FABRIZZIO
You know all the girls in this
town, eh? We saw some beauties
coming down the road. One in
particular got our friend hit with
the Thunderbolt...
(he indicates MICHAEL)

VITELLI gives a big knowing laugh, and looks at MICHAEL with
new interest.

VITELLI
You had better bring a few bottles
home with you, my friend; you'll
need help sleeping tonight.
(he laughs)

FABRIZZIO
This one could seduce the devil. A
body! and eyes as big and black as
olives.

VITELLI
(laughing with
them...pouring more wine)
I know about what you mean!

FABRIZZIO
This was a beauty. Right, Calo?

VITELLI
(laughing)
Beautiful all over, eh?

FABRIZZIO
And hair. Black and curly, like a
doll. And such a mouth.

VITELLI does not laugh quite so much.

VITELLI
Yes, we have beautiful girls here...
but virtuous.

VITELLI is no longer drinking with them.

MICHAEL
She wore a red dress, and a red
ribbon in her hair. She looks more
Greek than Italian. Do you know a
beauty like that?

As MICHAEL describes her, VITELLI laughed less and less,
until he wears a scowl.

VITELLI
No.

Then he curtly leaves him, and walks into the back room.

FABRIZZIO
God in Heaven, I think I
understand...

He goes into the back room after the innkeeper. Then he
returns.

FABRIZZIO
Let's get out of here; he's boiling
up his blood to do us mischief.
It's his daughter.

They start to leave; but MICHAEL doesn't move.

CALO
Come quickly.

MICHAEL
Innkeeper. More wine!

FABRIZZIO
(whispered)
The old bastard mentioned two sons
he only has to whistle up.

MICHAEL turns to FABRIZZIO with his cold authority.

MICHAEL
Tell him to come to me.

The two BODYGUARDS shoulder their luparas, and disappear in
a moment they return with the red-faced angry VITELLI
between them.

MICHAEL
(quietly)
I understand I've offended you by
talking about your daughter. I
offer you my apologies, I'm a
stranger in this country, I don't
know the customs very well. Let me
say this, I meant no disrespect to
you or her...

CALO and FABRIZZIO are impressed.

VITELLI
(shrugs)
Who are you and what do you want
from my daughter?

MICHAEL
I am an American hiding in Sicily
from the police of my country. My
name is Michael. You can inform
the police and make your fortune
but then your daughter would lose a
father rather than gain a husband.
In any case, I want to meet your
daughter. With your permission and
under the supervision of your
family. With all decorum. With
all respect. I am an honorable man.

CALO and FABRIZZIO are stupefied; VITELLI pauses, and then
asks:

VITELLI
Are you a friend of the friends?

MICHAEL
When the proper time comes, I'll
tell you everything that a wife's
father should know.

FABRIZZIO
It's the real Thunderbolt, then.

VITELLI
(formally)
Come Sunday morning: My name is
Vitelli and my house is up there on
the hill, above the village.

MICHAEL
Your daughter's name?

VITELLI
Appolonia.

-------------------------------------FADE OUT-----------

EXT DAY: TOMMASSINO COURTYARD

MUSIC comes up; as MICHAEL, dressed in new clothes from
Palermo, and carrying a stack of wrapped gifts, gets into an
Alfa Romeo. CALO and FABRIZZIO each dressed in their Sunday
best, are in the rear seat, huddled together, with their
luparas on their shoulders.

DON TOMMASSINO waves them off, as the little car drives off,
rocky and bouncing on the dirt road.

The Sunday churchbells ring.

--------------------------------------DISSOLVE----------

EXT DAY: VITELLI HOUSE

MICHAEL is presented to each of the Vitelli relatives, by
the yard of their little hilltop house; the BROTHERS; the
MOTHER, who is given a gift; several UNCLES and AUNTS.
Finally APPOLONIA enters, dressed beautifully in appropriate
Sunday clothing. Now he presents the wrapped gift to
APPOLONIA. She looks at her MOTHER, who with a nod gives
her permission to open it. She unwraps it. Her eyes light
at the sight of a heavy gold chain; to be worn as a necklace.

She looks at him.

APPOLONIA
Grazia.

--------------------------------------DISSOLVE----------

EXT DAY: VITELLI CAFE

Now the little Alpha drives into the village near VITELLI's
cafe.

MICHAEL is, as ever, accompanied with his two BODYGUARDS,
though they are all dressed differently.

They go up to the cafe...and sit with VITELLI, who is
talking and talking.

MICHAEL looks at APPOLONIA; who sits, respectfully quiet.
She wears the gold necklace around her neck.

--------------------------------------DISSOLVE----------

EXT DAY: HILLTOP NEAR VITELLI HOME

MICHAEL and APPOLONIA are walking through a hilltop path,
seemingly alone, although a respectful distance apart.

As the VIEW PANS with them, we notice that her MOTHER and a
half dozen AUNTS are twenty paces behind them, and ten paces
further behind are CALO and FABRIZZIO, their luparas on
their shoulders.

Further up the hill, APPOLONIA stumbles on a loose stone,
and falls briefly onto MICHAEL's arm. She modestly regains
her balance, and they continue walking.

Behind them, her MOTHER giggles to herself.

--------------------------------------DISSOLVE----------

EXT DAY: VITELLI VILLAGE CHURCH

Church bells in an ancient belfry ring out. Music, old and
dissonant, plays.

There is a bridal procession in the street of the village;
the same in feeling and texture as it might have been five
hundred years ago.

Donkeys and other animals have been decorated with abundant
flowers; children carrying candles and wearing white
confirmation gowns walk in the procession, followed by
countless townspeople, members of the clergy, even the police.

We present the entire bridal procession and ceremony with
all the ritual and pageantry, as it has always been, in
Sicily.

APPOLONIA is radiant as the Bride; MICHAEL is handsome
despite the grotesque jaw and occasional white handkerchief.

--------------------------------------DISSOLVE----------

EXT NITE: VITELLI VILLAGE SQUARE

CALO and FABRIZZIO dance wildly through the night of the
great wedding celebration. It is held in the Village
Square; under the watchful eyes of SHEPHERDS above on the
tops of buildings, carrying luparas.

--------------------------------------DISSOLVE----------

INT NITE: MICHAEL'S ROOM IN VILLA

MICHAEL opens the shutters in his darkened room; moonlight
fills the room.

He turns, and there, in her wedding slip, is APPOLONIA. A
little frightened; but lovely.

He moves to her; and for a moment just stands before her,
looking at her incredible face; her lovely hair and body.

Slowly and tenderly he kisses her. Her tiny hands come up
to his face; touch his cheek and embrace him.

She lets her bridal slip fall to the floor.

--------------------------------------FADE OUT----------

INT DAY: MICHAEL'S ROOM AT VILLA

Morning. MICHAEL sits on the window ledge, gazing into the
room.

APPOLONIA is asleep; she is naked, and only partially
covered by the bedsheets.

He looks at her for a long time in the early morning light.

EXT DAY: TOMMASSINO COURTYARD

HIGH ANGLE ON DON TOMMASSINO'S VILLA

We HEAR girlish laughter; the little Alpha is driving
erratically, knocking down an occasional wall, and almost
hitting th inner court wall.

APPOLONIA is laughing, driving. MICHAEL pretends to be
frightened, as he teaches her to drive.

Outside the walls, we notice SHEPHERDS with luparas, walking
guard duty.

The car stops and a laughing MICHAEL gets out.

MICHAEL
It's safer to teach you English.

APPOLONIA
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
Thursday, Friday...See, I learned
it. Now teach me to drive!

DON TOMMASSINO enters the Courtyard. He seems tired and
concerned.

MICHAEL
Ciao, Don Tommassino.

APPOLONIA kisses him.

MICHAEL
Things went badly in Palermo?

DON TOMMASSINO
The younger men have no respect.
Things are changing; I don't know
what will happen. Michael, because
of the wedding, people now know
your name.

MICHAEL
Is that why there are more men on
the walls?

DON TOMMASSINO
Even so, I don't think it is safe
here anymore. I've made plans to
move you to a villa near Siracuse.
You must go right away.

MICHAEL
What is it?

DON TOMMASSINO
Bad news from America. Your
brother, Santino. He has been
killed.

For a moment, the whole world of New York, Sollozzo, the
Five Family War, all comes back to MICHAEL.

EXT DAY: VILLA COURTYARD

Morning. MICHAEL leans out of the bedroom window.

Below, FABRIZZIO is sitting in one of the garden chairs,
combing his thick hair.

MICHAEL whistles and FABRIZZIO looks up to his window.

MICHAEL
Get the car. I'll be leaving in
ten minutes. Where's Calo?

FABRIZZIO
Calo is having a cup of coffee in
the kitchen. Is your wife coming
with you?

MICHAEL
No, she's going home to her family.
She'll join me in a few weeks...

INT DAY: VILLA KITCHEN

MICHAEL, dressed, crosses from the hallway, and into the
kitchen. CALO is just finishing a bite. He rises when he
sees MICHAEL.

CALO
Should I get your bag?

MICHAEL
No, I'll get it. Where's Appolonia?

CALO
(smiling)
She is sitting in the driver's seat
of the car, dying to step on the
gas. She'll be a real American
woman before she gets to America.

MICHAEL smiles.

MICHAEL
Tell Fabrizzio and wait for me in
the car.

He leaves the kitchen, after a quick sip of coffee.

He looks out from the opening in the doorway.

EXT DAY: VILLA COURTYARD

There is the car, with APPOLONIA sitting in the driver's
seat, playing with the wheel like a child.

CALO moves to the car, and puts a lunch basket in the rear
seat.

Then MICHAEL seems disturbed.

Over, on the other side of the courtyard, he sees FABRIZZIO
disappear through the gate.

MICHAEL
(muttering to himself)
Where the hell is he going?

MICHAEL goes down the hallway, and outside.

MICHAEL steps out into the bright sunlight of the outer
courtyard, causing him to shade his eyes.

APPOLONIA sees him, and waves, motioning that he should stay
where he is.

APPOLONIA
(calling out)
I'll drive to you.

He smiles affectionately.

CALO stands beside the car, smiling, with his lupara dangling
by his side. There is no sight of FABRIZZIO. Suddenly the
smile fades from MICHAEL's face. He steps forward and holds
out his hand.

MICHAEL
No. No!

His shout is drowned in the roar of a tremendous EXPLOSION,
as she switched on the ignition.

Part of the wall is caved in, the kitchen door is blown off;
and there is nothing left of the Alpha, or of Appolonia.

MICHAEL is thrown against the wall, and knocked unconscious.

INT DAY: VILLA BEDROOM

MICHAEL is unconscious in a darkened room. We hear
whispering around him, but can't make any of it out. A soft
cloth is applied to his face; gradually his eyes open. DON
TOMMASSINO is there, close to him. He looks at them and
from their grave expressions, he knows his wife is dead.

MICHAEL
Fabrizzio. Let your shepherds know
that the one who gives me Fabrizzio
will own the finest pastures in
Sicily.

--------------------------------------FADE OUT----------

FADE IN:

EXT DAY: MALL (SPRING 1951)

Easter.

A HIGH VIEW ON THE CORLEONE MALL in the springtime. Hordes
of little CHILDREN including many of the Corleone Children
and Grandchilren, rush about carrying little Easter baskets,
searching here and there for candy treasures and hidden
Easter eggs.

The DON himself, much older, much smaller in size, wearing
baggy pants and a plaid shirt and an old hat, moves around
his garden, tending rows and rows of rich tomato plants.

Suddenly, he stops and looks.

MICHAEL stands there, still holding his suitcase.

Great emotion comes over the DON, who takes a few steps in
MICHAEL's direction.

MICHAEL leaves his suitcase and walks to his favorite son
and embraces him.

DON CORLEONE
Be my son...

INT DAY: THE OLIVE OIL FACTORY

DON CORLEONE leads MICHAEL through the corridors of the
building.

DON CORLEONE
This old building has seen its day.
No way to do business...too small,
too old.

They enter the DON's glass-panelled office.

DON CORLEONE
Have you thought about a wife? A
family?

MICHAEL
(pained)
No.

DON CORLEONE
I understand, Michael. But you
must make a family, you know.

MICHAEL
I want children, I want a family.
But I don't know when.

DON CORLEONE
Accept what's happened, Michael.

MICHAEL
I could accept everything that's
happened; I could accept it, but
that I never had a choice. From
the time I was born, you had laid
this all out for me.

DON CORLEONE
No, I wanted other things for you.

MICHAEL
You wanted me to be your son.

DON CORLEONE
Yes, but sons who would be
professors, scientists,
musicians...and grandchildren who
could be, who knows, a Governor, a
President even, nothing's impossible
here in America.

MICHAEL
Then why have I become a man like
you?

DON CORLEONE
You are like me, we refuse to be
fools, to be puppets dancing on a
string pulled by other men. I
hoped the time for guns and killing
and massacres was over. That was
my misfortune. That was your
misfortune. I was hunted on the
streets of Corleone when I was
twelve years old because of who my
father was. I had no choice.

MICHAEL
A man has to choose what he will be.
I believe that.

DON CORLEONE
What else do you believe in?

MICHAEL doesn't answer.

DON CORLEONE
Believe in a family. Can you
believe in your country? Those
Pezzonovante of the State who
decide what we shall do with our
lives? Who declare wars they wish
us to fight in to protect what they
own. Do you put your fate in the
hands of men whose only talent is
that they tricked a bloc of people
to vote for them? Michael, in five
years the Corleone family can be
completely legitimate. Very
difficult things have to happen to
make that possible. I can't do
them anymore, but you can, if you
choose to.

MICHAEL listens.

DON CORLEONE
Believe in a family; believe in a
Code of Honor, older and higher,
believe in Roots that go back
thousands of years into your Race.
Make a family, Michael, and protect
it. These are our affairs, sono cosa
nostra, Governments only protect
men who have their own individual
power. Be one of those men...you
have the choice.

--------------------------------------FADE OUT----------

EXT DAY: STOCK FOOTAGE LAS VEGAS (1955)

A MOVING VIEW, driving up the Las Vegas Strip of 1955.

FREDO (O.S.)
There's a new one. Construction
going on everywhere.

MORE VIEWS, showing new hotels and casinos being built; the
bill marquees read: "MARTIN AND LEWIS", "PATTI PAGE", etc.

FREDO (O.S.)
That's one of the family's new ones.
Not bad, eh?

EXT DAY: FLAMINGO (1955)

The car pulls up at the Flamingo Hotel.

Inside the car: MICHAEL, FREDO, TOM HAGEN and a new man,
NERI, quiet and sinister.

MICHAEL
Why didn't Moe Green meet us at the
airport?

FREDO
He had business at the hotel, but
he'll drop in for dinner.

From the expression on MICHAEL's face we know this is a
discourtesy.

INT DAY: FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE (1955)

A whole entourage precedes FREDO and his V.I.P. party of
MICHAEL, HAGEN and NERI. Great fuss is made. They are
being shown into the hotel's 'special' suite.

FREDO
You look wonderful, kid; really
wonderful. That doctor did some
job on your face.

MICHAEL
You look good, too.

They enter the suite.

FREDO
Nice, eh?

FREDO is as excited as a kid, snapping orders at the
bellboys, waiters and maids.

FREDO
(hurrying into the bedroom)
Kid, take a look-see.

MICHAEL gives a look to HAGEN, and continues into the bedroom.

There is an enormous circular bed on a huge platform,
mirrors to each side. FREDO points upward.

A VIEW into a large CEILING mirror.

FREDO
Ever seen anything like that before?

MICHAEL
(dryly)
No.

INT NITE: FLAMINGO SUITE BEDROOM (1955)

MICHAEL is alone in the bedroom. He is just finishing
dressing; he puts on his jacket. From the window, with the
lights blinking, we can tell it's late at night. MICHAEL
passes into the other room.

He stops, looks. He is disturbed.

INT NITE: FLAMINGO SUITE (1955)

A magnificent, circular table has been set up in his suite;
a lavish table setting for eight. Standing by the table are
HAGEN, JOHNNY FONTANE, looking wonderful, a little heavier,
beautifully dressed; FREDO, a dandy, and TWO LAS VEGAS GIRLS.
NERI stands quietly by the door.

FREDO
Mike! The party starting!

MICHAEL
Come here a minute, Fredo.

FREDO goes to him, a big smile all over his face.

MICHAEL
Who are those girls?

FREDO
(jokingly)
That's for you to find out.

MICHAEL
Give them some money and send them
home.

FREDO
Mike!

MICHAEL
Get rid of them...

INT NITE: FLAMINGO SUITE (1955)

They are seated around the lavish table in Michael's suite.
MICHAEL is speaking to JOHNNY.

MICHAEL
Johnny, the Corleone family is
thinking of selling out all our
interests in the Olive Oil business
and settling here. Moe Greene will
sell us his interest so it can be
wholly owned by friends of the
family.

FREDDIE seems anxious.

FREDO
Mike, you sure about Moe selling.
He never mentioned it to me and he
loves the business.

MICHAEL
I'll make him an offer he can't
refuse.

MICHAEL turns to JOHNNY.

MICHAEL
Johnny, the Don wants you to help
us get started. We figure
entertainment will be the big
factor in drawing gamblers. We
hope you'll sign a contract to
appear five times a year for maybe
a week long engagement.
We hope your friends in the movies
will do the same. We count on you
to convince them.

JOHNNY
Sure, I'll do anything for my
Godfather. You know that, Mike.

There is knock on the door. NERI rises, looks at MICHAEL,
who nods. NERI opens the door, and MOE GREENE enters,
followed by TWO BODYGUARDS. He is a handsome hood, dressed
in the Hollywood style. His BODYGUARDS are more West Coast
style.

MOE
Mike, good to see you. Got
everything you want?

MICHAEL
Thanks.

MOE
The chef cooked for you special;
the dancers will kick your tongue
out and you credit is good!
(to his BODYGUARDS)
Draw chips for all these people so
they can play on the house.

MICHAEL
Is my credit good enough to buy you
out?

MOE laughs.

MOE
Buy me out?...

MICHAEL
The hotel, the casino. The Corleone
family wants to buy you out.

GREENE stops laughing; the room becomes tense. NERI eyes
the BODYGUARDS.

MOE
(furious)
The Corleone family wants to buy me
out. I buy you out. You don't buy
me out.

MICHAEL
Your casino loses money. Maybe we
can do better.

MOE
You think I scam?

MICHAEL
(the worst insult)
You're unlucky.

MOE
You goddamn dagos. I do you a
favor and take Freddie in when
you're having a bad time, and then
you try to push me out.

MICHAEL
You took Freddie in because the
Corleone family bankrolled your
casino. You and the Corleone
family are evened out. This is for
business; name your price.

MOE
The Corleone family don't have that
kind of muscle anymore. The
Godfather is sick. You're getting
chased out of New York by Barzini
and the other families, and you
think you can find easier pickings
here. I've talked to Barzini; I
can make a deal with him and keep
my hotel!

MICHAEL
(quietly, deadly)
Is that why you thought you could
slap Freddie around in public?

FREDO
(his face turns red)
Ah Mike, that was nothing. Moe
didn't mean anything. He flies off
the handle sometimes; but me and
him are good friends. Right, Moe?

MOE
Yeah sure. Sometimes I gotta kick
asses to make this place run right.
Freddie and I had a little argument
and I had to straighten him out.

MICHAEL
You straightened my brother out?

MOE
Hell, he was banging cocktail
waitresses two at a time. Players
couldn't get a drink.

MICHAEL rises from his chair, and says in a tone of dismissal:

MICHAEL
I have to go back to New York
tomorrow. Think of your price.

MOE
You son of a bitch, you think you
can brush me off like that? I made
my bones when you were going out
with cheerleaders.

FREDO
(frightened)
Tom, you're the Consigliere; you
can talk to the Don and advise him.

MICHAEL
The Don has semi-retired. I'm
running the Family business now.
So anything you have to say, say it
to me.

Nobody answers. MICHAEL nods to NERI, who opens the door.
MOE exits angrily.

MICHAEL
Freddie, you're my older brother.
I love you. But don't ever take
sides with anybody against the
Family again.

EXT DAY: N.Y. AIRPORT (1955)

KAY sits in the back of a limousine parked by the Newark
AIRPORT. ROCCO LAMPONE is leaning against it.

She has a little three year old boy; MICHAEL's son, who
plays with a cardboard bird on a string.

Two other cars are stationed discreetly, with men we have
learned to tell are bodyguards.

MICHAEL, HAGEN and NERI exit the airport with TWO NEGRO
PORTERS carrying luggage.

NERI sees something, and taps MICHAEL on the shoulder.

MICHAEL turns, and sees KAY.

LAMPONE opens the car door; KAY steps out with the BOY, and
MICHAEL embraces her, and kisses his son. Automatically,
the luggage is put in. NERI replaces LAMPONE as the driver;
and LAMPONE joins the other men. HAGEN gets into one of the
other cars.

And the limo drives off, preceded and followed by the other
sedans.

INT DAY: LIMO (1955)

The little BOY looks out the window as they drive.

MICHAEL
I have to see my father and his
people when we get back to the Mall.

KAY
Oh Michael.

MICHAEL
We'll go to the show tomorrow
night--we can change the tickets.

KAY
Don't you want dinner first?

MICHAEL
No, you eat...don't wait up for me.

KAY
Wake me up when you come to bed?

The little BOY flies his cardboard bird out of the speeding
limousine window.

EXT DAY: MALL (1955)

The limousine arrives at the Mall. We are inside.

KAY
Your sister wants to ask you
something.

MICHAEL
Let HER ask.

NERI opens the door. KAY wants to talk just a little more.

KAY
She's afraid to. Michael...

MICHAEL nods to NERI; who gives them their privacy a moment
longer.

KAY
Why are you so cold to her and
Carlo? They live with us on the
Mall now, but you never get close
to them.

MICHAEL
I'm busy.

KAY
Connie and Carlo want you to be
godfather to their little boy.

NERI opens the door; MICHAEL starts to get out; KAY too.

He smiles at her, tired, and a little sad.

KAY
Will you?

MICHAEL
Let me think about it, O.K.?

She smiles; MICHAEL goes with NERI to the Main House; KAY
and the little BOY move to the house that was Sonny's.

INT DAY: DON'S OFFICE (1955)

VIEW ON DON CORLEONE, much older, much smaller in size. He
wears baggy pants, and a warm plaid shirt. He sits in a
chair, gazing out through the window, into the garden.

TESSIO (O.S.)
Barzini's people chisel my territory
and we do nothing about it. Pretty
soon there won't be one place in
Brooklyn I can hang my hat.

MICHAEL (O.S.)
Just be patient.

TESSIO
I'm not asking you for help, Mike.
Just take off the handcuffs.

MICHAEL (O.S.)
Be patient.

CLEMENZA (O.S.)
We gotta fight sometime. Let us at
least recruit our regimes to full
strength.

MICHAEL (O.S.)
No, I don't want to give Barzini an
excuse to start fighting.

TESSIO (O.S.)
Mike, you're wrong.

CLEMENZA (O.S.)
Don Corleone...Don Corleone.

The OLD MAN looks up. CLEMENZA stand before him in the Den.
Beside him is an anxious TESSIO. NERI stands by the door;
HAGEN is seated; MICHAEL sits behind the big desk.

CLEMENZA
You said there would come a day
when Tessio and me could form our
own Families. Only with your
benediction, of course. I ask
permission...

DON CORLEONE
My son is head of the Family now.
If you have his permission, you
have my good will.

MICHAEL
In six months you can break off
from the Corleone Family and go on
your own. Carlo, I'm counting on
you to make the move to Nevada;
you'll be my right-hand man out
there. Tom Hagen is no longer the
Consigliere.

Everyone is a bit surprised; look to see HAGEN's reaction.
He remains inexpressive.

MICHAEL
He's going to be our lawyer in
Vegas. Nobody goes to him with any
other business as of now, this
minute. No reflection on Tom;
that's the way I want it. Besides,
if I ever need any advice, who's a
better Consigliere than my father.

CLEMENZA
Then in a six month time we're on
our own; is that it?

MICHAEL
Maybe less...

TESSIO
Let us fill up our Regimes.

MICHAEL
No. I want things very calm for
another six months.

TESSIO
Forgive me, Godfather, let our
years of friendship be my excuse.
How can you hope for success there
without your strength here to back
you up? The two go hand in hand.
And with you gone from here the
Barzini and the Tattaglias will be
too strong for us.

CLEMENZA
And I don't like Barzini. I say
the Corleone Family has to move
from strength, not weakness. We
should build our Regimes and take
back our lost territories in Staten
Island, at least.

DON CORLEONE
Do you have faith in my judgement?

CLEMENZA
Yes, Godfather...

DON CORLEONE
Then do what Michael says...

MICHAEL
All I can say is that things are
being resolved that are more
effective than a thousand buttonmen
on the streets. Understood?

There are uneasy looks all around.

CARLO
Understood. I just wish I was
doing more to help out.

MICHAEL
I'll come to you when I need you.

He looks at CLEMENZA, TESSIO and HAGEN. They all nod,
reluctantly.

MICHAEL
All right, then it's resolved.

NERI knows the meeting is over, he opens the Den's door.

CLEMENZA and TESSIO pay their respects to the DON and leave,
then CARLO. NERI watches CARLO as he walks down the
corridor, casting a nervous look back at the sinister man.

Then NERI closes the door.

MICHAEL relaxes.

HAGEN
Mike, why are you cutting me out of
the action?

MICHAEL
Tom, we're going to be legitimate
all the way, and you're the legal
man. What could be more important
than that.

HAGEN
I'm not talking about that. I'm
talking about Rocco Lampone building
a secret regime. Why does Neri
report directly to you, rather than
through me or a caporegime?

DON CORLEONE
I told you that it wouldn't escape
his eye.

MICHAEL
How did you find out?

HAGEN
Bookkeepers know everything.
Rocco's men are all a little too
good for the jobs they're supposed
to be doing. They get a little
more money than the job's worth.
(pause)
Lampone's a good man; he's operating
perfectly.

MICHAEL
Not so perfectly if you noticed.

HAGEN
Mike, why am I out?

MICHAEL
You're not a wartime Consigliere.
Things may get tough with the move
we're trying.

HAGEN
OK, but then I agree with Tessio.
You're going about it all wrong;
you're making the move out of
weakness... Barzini's a wolf, and
if he tears you apart, the other
families won't come running to help
the Corleones...

DON CORLEONE
Tom, I never thought you were a bad
Consigliere, I thought Santino a
bad Don, rest in peace. He had a
good heart but he wasn't the right
man to head the family when I had
my misfortune. Michael has all my
confidence, as you do. For reasons
which you can't know, you must have
no part in what will happen.

HAGEN
Maybe I can help.

MICHAEL
(coldly)
You're out, Tom.

TOM pauses, thinks...and then he nods in acquiescence. TOM
leaves.

MICHAEL looks at NERI.

MICHAEL
I'm going to talk to my father.

NERI nods, and then leaves. The DON opens the doors,
breathes in the air, and steps outside.

EXT DAY: THE GARDEN (1955)

DON CORLEONE
I see you have your Luca Brasi.

MICHAEL
I'll need him.

DON CORLEONE
There are men in this world who
demand to be killed. They argue in
gambling games; they jump out of
their cars in a rage if someone so
much as scratches their fender.
These people wander through the
streets calling out "Kill me, kill
me." Luca Brasi was like that.
And since he wasn't scared of
death, and in fact, looked for
it...I made him my weapon. Because
I was the only person in the world
that he truly hoped would not kill
him. I think you have done the
same with this man.

They walk through the DON's vegetable garden. Tomatoes,
peppers, carefully tended, and covered with a silky netting.
MICHAEL follows; the DON turns and looks at him. Then
stoops over to right a tomato plant that had been pushed over.

DON CORLEONE
Barzini will move against you first.

MICHAEL
How?

DON CORLEONE
He will get in touch with you
through someone you absolutely
trust. That person will arrange a
meeting, guarantee your safety...

He rises, and looks at Michael...

DON CORLEONE
...and at that meeting you will be
assassinated.

The DON walks on further.

DON CORLEONE
Your wife and children...you're
happy with them?

MICHAEL
Yes.

DON CORLEONE
Good.

MICHAEL wants to express something...hesitates, then:

MICHAEL
I've always respected you...

A long silence. The DON smiles at MICHAEL.

DON CORLEONE
And I...you.

EXT DAY: CHURCH (1955)

KAY and MAMA walking from the black car that has just left
them off.

KAY
How is your husband feeling?

MAMA
He's not the same since they shot
him. He lets Michael do all the
work. He just plays the fool with
his garden, his peppers, his
tomatoes, as if he was some peasant
still. But men are like that...

She stops toward the Church.

MAMA
You come in, too.

KAY shakes her head.

MAMA
The Priest ain't gonna bite you
cause you're not Catholic.
(whispered)
He's in the back drinkin' his wine.

KAY laughs and follows MAMA up the steps of the Church.
They enter.

INT DAY: CHURCH (1955)

Inside the Church, KAY watches as MAMA blesses herself from
the holy water.

MAMA
You can.

Tentatively, KAY dips her fingers into the water, and
blesses herself. Then SHE follows MAMA down the aisle, in
awe at the high ceiling, the art, the windows, and finally
the Altar.

MAMA stops by the impressive tiers of candles. There is a
large coin box for those who wish to pay for lighting
candles. MAMA fumbles in her purse for change; KAY gives
her some.

MAMA drops the coins in the box, one by one; then takes the
taper, and in a pattern known only to her, and with great
dignity, she closes her eyes, says a prayer, and then lights
twenty candles.

She finishes, and bows her head.

EXT DAY: BONASERA'S FUNERAL HOME

Very few people in the streets. TOTAL SILENCE. But black
flower cars as far as the eye can see, for blocks and blocks.
An expression of respect, of honor and fear that is enormous.
Certainly no more could be done for a President or a King.

Each car carries an elaborate floral decoration. We show
these in detail; and the flowered messages: "A Benefactor to
Mankind", "He Knew and Pitied"..."Our Don Our Leader"..."The
Sacred Heart"...

EXT DAY: MALL (1955)

HIGH ANGLE ON THE CORLEONE MALL

Silence.

The flower cars, funeral limousines, and private cars fill
all the areas attendant to the Corleone residence.

Hundreds of people fill the Mall, reminiscent in size of the
wedding of Connie and Carlo; of course, now the mood is
somber and respectful.

MICHAEL, MAMA, FREDO and HAGEN stand by the flowered platform
which holds the ornate coffin. We cannot see the remains of
Don Corleone.

BONASERA is nearby, ready to do service to the bereaved
family. One by one the mourners come by, weeping, or merely
with grave expressions; pay their respects and continue on.

The VIEW ALTERS,

and we see that the line is endless. JOHNNY FONTANE, tears
openly falling, takes his turn.

Children are taken by the hand, and lifted for their last
look at the great man.

CLEMENZA whispers into the ear of LAMPONE. LAMPONE
immediately arranges for the members of the Five New York
Families to pay their respects.

First CUNEO, then STRACHI and then ZALUCHI. Then PHILIP
TATTAGLIA, who merely passes by the Coffin.

Then BARZINI in a black homburg, standing a long time.

MICHAEL watches the scene.

BARZINI crosses himself and passes on, immediately rejoined
by his men.

As BARZINI leaves, it seems as though everyone is fawning on
him; perhaps asking for favors: But at any rate, it is clear
from the doors opened for him, the cigars lit for him, that
he is the new Capo di Capi--the place formerly held by Don
Corleone.

MICHAEL watches silently.

BARZINI is searching for somebody with his eyes. First
CLEMENZA. Then TESSIO.

CONNIE rushes into MICHAEL's arms, tears in her eyes. He
embraces and comforts her.

Everywhere MICHAEL goes, NERI is a few feet away--watching
all who come close to him.

EXT DAY: MALL (LATER)

Later on the Mall; some people have left, although there are
still hundreds of mourners.

A young GIRL approaches TESSIO. She's about 18.

GIRL
Do you remember me?

TESSIO
No...

GIRL
We danced together at Connie's
wedding.

TESSIO makes a gesture, which is to say 'How you've grown',
and they move though the crowd, looking for Michael. He
finds him.

TESSIO
Mike, could I have a minute?

MIKE; nods; and they move to a private place. NERI is close
by.

TESSIO
Barzini wants to arrange a meeting.
Says we can straighten any of our
problems out.

MICHAEL
He talked to you?

TESSIO
(nods)
I can arrange security.

MICHAEL looks at him.

EXT DAY: CEMETERY (1955)

The Cemetery. Late day.

The hundreds of cars, limousines and flower cars line the
stone wall that surrounds this Italian-Catholic cemetary in
Queens Village.

Hundreds of people stand in a cluster; others watch; take
pictures, etc.

MICHAEL stands with his family, his MOTHER...and TOM HAGEN.

MICHAEL
(softly)
Christ, Tom; I needed more time
with him. I really needed him.

HAGEN
Did he give you his politicians?

MICHAEL
Not all...I needed another four
months and I would have had them
all.
(he looks at TOM)
I guess you've figured it all out?

HAGEN
How will they come at you?

MICHAEL
I know now.
(a passion wells up
inside of MICHAEL)
I'll make them call me Don.

HAGEN
Have you agreed on a meeting?

MICHAEL
(nods)
A week from tonight. In Brooklyn
on Tessio's ground, where I'll be
safe.

HAGEN looks at him; understands.

MICHAEL
But after the Baptism. I've
decided to stand as godfather to
Connie's baby.

They look up.

The coffin is lowered into an excavation, behind which
stands an enormous stone monument; it is of a weeping angel,
with the bold inscription: CORLEONE.

---------------------------------------FADE OUT---------

FADE IN:

INT DAY: NERI'S APT. (1955)

ALBERT NERI moves around in his small Corona Apartment; he
pulls a small trunk from under his bed. He opens it, and we
see in it, nearly folded, a New York City Policeman's
uniform. He takes it out piece by piece, almost reverently.
Then the badge, and the identification card; with his
picture on it. Slowly, in the solitude of his room, he
begins to dress.

INT DAY: MICHAEL'S BEDROOM (1955)

MICHAEL and KAY are getting dressed for the christening in
their room. MICHAEL looks very well; very calm; KAY is
beginning to take on a matronly look.

INT DAY: MOTEL ROOM (1955)

In a Long Island motel.

ROCCO LAMPONE carefully disassembles a revolver; oils it,
checks it, and puts it back together.

EXT DAY: CLEMENZA'S HOUSE (1955)

PETER CLEMENZA about to get in his Lincoln. He hesitates,
takes a rag and cleans some dirt off of the fender, and then
gets in, drives off.

EXT DAY: CHURCH (1955)

The Church.

Various relatives and friends are beginning to gather at the
Church. They laugh and talk. A MONSIGNOR is officiating.
Not all of the participants have arrived yet.

CONNIE is there, with a beaming CARLO. She holds the
infant; showing him off to interested people.

EXT DAY: U.N. PLAZA (1955)

NERI walks down the sidewalk in the neighborhood of the UN
Building. He is dressed as, and has the bearing of, a
policeman. He carries a huge flashlight.

EXT DAY: MOTEL BALCONY (1955)

LAMPONE steps out onto the little balcony of a Sea-Resort
Motel; We can see the bright, neon lit sign advertising
"ROOMS FACING THE SEA--VACANY".

INT DAY: CHURCH

The Church.

CONNIE holds the baby; the MONSIGNOR is speaking; KAY and
MICHAEL stand side by side around the urn.

PRIEST
(to MICHAEL)
Do you pledge to guide and protect
this child if he is left fatherless?
Do you promise to shield him
against the wickedness of the world?

MICHAEL
Yes, I promise.

EXT DAY: FIFTH AVE.

NERI continues up the 55th St. and Fifth Avenue area. He
continues until he is in front of Rockefeller Center. On
his side of the street, he spots a limousine waiting directly
across from the main entrance of the building. Slowly he
approaches the limo, and taps on its fender with his
nightstick.

The DRIVER looks up in surprise.

NERI points to the "No Parking" sign.

The DRIVER turns his head away.

NERI
OK, wise guy, you wanna summons, or
you wanna move?

DRIVER
(obviously a hood)
You better check with your precinct.

NERI
Move it!

The DRIVER takes a ten dollar bill, folds it deliberately,
and hands it out the window, trying to put it under NERI's
jacket.

NERI backs up, letting the bill fall onto the street. Then
he crooks a finger at the DRIVER.

NERI
Let me see you license and
registration.

EXT DAY: MOTEL BALCONY

LAMPONE on the motel balcony spots a Cadillac pulling up.
It parks. A young, pretty GIRL gets out. Quickly, he
returns into the room.

INT DAY: HOTEL STAIRS (1955)

CLEMENZA is climbing the back stairs of a large hotel. He
rounds the corner, puffs a little, and then continues upward.

INT DAY: CHURCH

The Church. Close on the PRIEST's fingers as he gently
applies oil to the infant's ears and nostrils.

PRIEST
Ephetha...be opened...So you may
perceive the fragrance of God's
sweetness.

EXT DAY: ROCKEFELLER CENTER (1955)

The DRIVER of the limousine in front of Rockefeller Center
is arguing with NERI.

Now the DRIVER looks up.

WHAT HE SEES:

TWO MEN in topcoats exit the building, through the revolving
glass doors.

NERI opens up fire, trapping BARZINI in the shattering glass
doors. The doors still rotate, moving the dead body of
BARZINI within them.

INT DAY: CHURCH

In the Church--the VIEW on MICHAEL. The PRIEST hands him
the infant.

PRIEST
Do you renounce Satan.

MICHAEL
I do renounce him.

PRIEST
And all his works?

MICHAEL
I do renounce them.

INT DAY: MOTEL MURDER (1955)

LAMPONE, backed up by two other MEN in his regime, runs down
the iron-rail steps, and kicks in the door on Room 7F.
PHILIP TATTAGLIA, old and wizened and naked, leaps up; a
semi-nude young GIRL leans up.

They are riddled with gunfire.

INT DAY: HOTEL STAIRS (1955)

CLEMENZA, huffing and puffing, climbs the back stairs, with
his package.

INT DAY: CHURCH

The PRIEST pours water over the forehead of the infant
MICHAEL holds.

PRIEST
Do you wish to be baptized?

MICHAEL
I do wish to be baptized.

INT DAY: HOTEL ELEVATOR MURDER (1955)

CLEMENZA, out of breath, climbs the final few steps.

He walks through some glass doors, and moves to an ornate
elevator waiting shaft.

The lights indicate the elevator has arrived.

The doors open, and we see a surprised CUNEO standing with
the dapper MOE GREENE.

CLEMENZA fires into the small elevator with a shotgun.

The PRIEST hands a lighted candle to MICHAEL.

PRIEST
I christen you Michael Francis Rizzi.

Flash bulbs go off. Everyone is smiles, and crowds around
MICHAEL, KAY, CONNIE...and CARLO.

--------------------------------------FADE OUT----------

EXT DAY: CHURCH (1955)

The christening party outside the Church.

Four or five limousines have been waiting; now pull up to
receive MAMA, CONNIE and the baby; and the others.

Everyone is very happy; only MICHAEL seems aloof and grave.

As the fuss is going on, a car pulls up. LAMPONE gets out
and works his way to MICHAEL. He whispers in his ear. This
is the news MICHAEL has been waiting for.

CONNIE holds the baby up to MICHAEL.

CONNIE
Kiss your Godfather.

The infant turns its head, and MICHAEL uses that as an
excuse to back away.

MICHAEL
Carlo...we've had a change in the
plans. Mama, Connie, Kay and the
kids will have to take the trip out
to Vegas without us.

CONNIE
Oh Mike, it's our first vacation
together.

CARLO
(anxious to please)
Jesus, Connie...Sure, Mike...

MICHAEL
Go back to your house and wait for
me...

He kisses KAY.

MICHAEL
(to KAY)
I'll just be a couple of days...

People are guided to the correct limousines; they start to
drive off.

INT DAY: DON'S KITCHEN

TESSIO sits in the Kitchen of the Main House on the Mall.

HAGEN enters.

HAGEN
You'd better make your call to
Barzini; Michael's ready.

TESSIO nods; moves to the telephone and dials a number.

TESSIO
We're on our way to Brooklyn.

He hangs up and smiles.

TESSIO
I hope Mike can get us a good deal
tonight.

HAGEN
(gravely)
I'm sure he will.

EXT DAY: MALL (1955)

The TWO MEN walk out onto the Mall, toward a car. On their
way they are stopped by TWO BODYGUARDS.

BUTTON MAN
The boss says he'll come in a
separate car. He says for you two
to go on ahead.

TESSIO
(frowning)
Hell, he can't do that. It screws
up all my arrangements.

THREE MORE BODYGUARDS appear around him.

HAGEN
(gently)
I can't go with you either, Tessio.

He flashes at the men surrounding him; for a moment he
panics, and then he accepts it.

TESSIO
(after the pause)
Tell Mike it was business...I
always liked him.

HAGEN
He understands that.

TESSIO looks at the men, and then pauses.

TESSIO
(softly)
Tom, can you get me off the hook?
For old times' sake?

HAGEN
I can't.

HAGEN turns, and walks away from the group. Then about
twenty paces away, he stops, and looks back.

TESSIO is led into a waiting car.

HAGEN looks away, and walks off.

INT DAY: CARLO'S LIVING ROOM (1955)

CARLO RIZZI is alone in his house, smoking, waiting rather
nervously. He moves to the window and looks out.

WHAT HE SEES:

EXT DAY: MALL (1955)

MICHAEL, still dressed in a dark suit; followed by NERI,
LAMPONE and CLEMENZA, then HAGEN.

They move toward us.

Excitedly, CARLO moves to the front door; opens it.

He wears a broad smile.

CARLO
Godfather!

MICHAEL
You have to answer for Santino.

The smile on CARLO's face slowly fades, then, in a foolish
attempt for safety, he slams the door in their faces and
backs into the living room.

INT DAY: CARLO'S LIVING ROOM (1955)

The door opens, and the grim party enters.

MICHAEL
You fingered Sonny for the Barzini
people. That little farce you
played out with my sister. Did
Barzini kid you that would fool a
Corleone?

CARLO
(dignity)
I swear I'm innocent. I swear on
the head of my children, I'm
innocent. Mike, don't do this to
me, please Mike, don't do this to me!

MICHAEL
(quietly)
Barzini is dead. So is Philip
Tattaglia, so are Strachi, Cuneo
and Moe Greene...I want to square
all the family accounts tonight.
So don't tell me you're innocent;
admit what you did.

CARLO is silent; he wants to talk but is terrified.

MICHAEL
(almost kindly)
Don't be frightened. Do you think
I'd make my sister a widow? Do you
think I'd make your children
fatherless? After all, I'm
Godfather to your son. No, your
punishment is that you're out of
the family business. I'm putting
you on a plane to Vegas--and I want
you to stay there. I'll send
Connie an allowance, that's all.
But don't keep saying you're
innocent; it insults my intelligence
and makes me angry. Who approached
you, Tattaglia or Barzini?

CARLO
(sees his way out)
Barzini.

MICHAEL
(softly)
Good, good. Leave now; there's a
car waiting to take you to the
airport.

CARLO moves to the door; opens it. There is a car waiting;
with a group of MEN around it.

He looks back at MICHAEL, who reassures him.

MICHAEL
I'll call your wife and tell her
what flight you're on.

EXT DAY: MALL

CARLO moves out to the Mall; the BUTTONMEN are putting his
things in the trunk.

ONE opens the front door for him.

SOMEONE is sitting in the rear seat, though we cannot see who.

CARLO gets into the car; out of nervousness, he looks back
to see the other man.

It is CLEMENZA, who nods cordially.

The motor starts, and as the car pulls away, CLEMENZA
suddenly throws the garrote around CARLO's neck. He chokes
and leaps up like a fish on a line, kicking his feet.

The garrote is pulled tighter; CARLO's face turns color.

His thrashing feet kick right through the front windshield.

Then the body goes slack.

CLEMENZA makes a foul face, and opens the window as the car
drives off.

EXT DAY: CARLO'S STEPS (1955)

MICHAEL and his party. They watch.

Then he turns and walks off, and they follow.

---------------------------------------FADE OUT---------

FADE IN:

INT NITE: MICHAEL'S LIMO EN ROUTE (1955)

MICHAEL sits alone in the back of his car; NERI is driving.

They do not speak for a long time; it is night--car lights
flash by.

NERI turns back.

NERI
You know I would never question
anything you say.

MICHAEL
(smiles)
Speak your mind.

NERI
I'll do this for you; you know I
should.

MICHAEL
No. This I have to do.

EXT NITE: PIZZA STREET (1955)

MICHAEL's car pulls up in a quiet neighborhood, near an
Italian Pizzeria. NERI opens the door.

MICHAEL
Sit in the car.

INT NITE: PIZZA PLACE (1955)

He walks alone into the restaurant. A MAN is tossing pizza
dough in the air.

MICHAEL
Where's the boss?

MAN
In the back. Hey Frank, someone
wants you.

A MAN comes out of the shadows, with a strong Italian accent.

MAN
What is it?

He stops, frozen in fear. It is FABRIZZIO.

VIEW ON MICHAEL. Gunfire from under his coat. FABRIZZIO is
cut down. MICHAEL throws the gun down; turns and exits.

EXT DAY: MALL (1955)

HIGH ANGLE ON THE CORLEONE MALL

Several moving vans are parked in the Mall; one feels that
these are the final days; the families are moving out; signs
indicating that the property is for sale are evident.

A black limousine pulls up, and before it has even stopped,
the rear door flies open, and CONNIE attempts to run out,
restrained by MAMA. She manages to break free and runs
across the Mall into Michael's house.

INT DAY: DON'S LIVING ROOM (1955)

Inside the Corleone house. Big boxes have been packed;
furniture prepared for shipping.

CONNIE
Michael!

She hurries into the living room, where she comes upon
MICHAEL and KAY.

KAY
(comforting)
Connie...

But CONNIE avoids her, and moves directly to MICHAEL. NERI
is watchful.

CONNIE
You lousy bastard; you killed my
husband...

KAY
Connie...

CONNIE
You waited until our father died
and nobody could stop you and you
killed him, you killed him! You
blamed him about Sonny, you always
did, everybody did. But you never
thought about me, never gave a damn
about me.
(crying)
What am I going to do now, what am
I going to do.

TWO of Michael's BODYGUARDS move closer, ready for orders
from him. But he stands there, waiting for his sister to
finish.

KAY
Connie, how could you say such
things?

CONNIE
Why do you think he kept Carlo on
the Mall? All the time he knew he
was going to kill my husband. But
he didn't dare while my father was
alive. And then he stood Godfather
to our child. That coldhearted
bastard.
(to KAY)
And do you know how many men he had
killed with Carlo? Just read the
papers. That's your husband.

She tries to spit into MICHAEL's face; but in her hysteria
she has no saliva.

MICHAEL
Get her home and get a doctor.

The TWO BODYGUARDS immediately take her arms and move her,
gently but firmly.

KAY is shocked; never taking her look of amazement from
MICHAEL. He feels her look.

MICHAEL
She's hysterical.

But KAY won't let him avoid her eyes.

KAY
Michael, it's not true. Please
tell me.

MICHAEL
Don't ask me.

KAY
Tell me!

MICHAEL
All right, this one time I'll let
you ask about my affairs, one last
time.

KAY
Is it true?

She looks directly into his eyes, he returns the look, so
directly that we know he will tell the truth.

MICHAEL
(after a very long pause)
No.

KAY is relieved; she throws her arms around him, and hugs
him. Then she kisses him.

KAY
(through her tears)
We both need a drink.

INT DAY: DON'S KITCHEN (1955)

She moves back into the kitchen and begins to prepare the
drinks. From her vantage point, as she smilingly makes the
drinks, she sees CLEMENZA, NERI and ROCCO LAMPONE enter the
house with their BODYGUARDS.

She watches with curiosity, as MICHAEL stands to receive
them. He stands arrogantly at ease, weight resting on one
foot slightly behind the other. One hand on his hip, like a
Roman Emperor. The CAPOREGIMES stand before him.

CLEMENZA takes MICHAEL's hand, kissing it.

CLEMENZA
Don Corleone...

The smile fades from KAY's face, as she looks at what her
husband has become.

INT DAY: CHURCH (1955)

KAY wears a shawl over her hand. She drops many coins in
the coin box, and lifts a burning taper, and one by one, in
a pattern known only to herself, lights thirty candles.

THE END

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War And Peace

This book should bc^rcturned on or before the date last marked below.

War and Peace

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The Bee Movie
According to all known laws
of aviation,

there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Ooming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

- Barry?
- Adam?

- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!

- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!

Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!

- Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.

- Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.

Never thought I'd make it.

Three days grade school,
three days high school.

Those were awkward.

Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.

You did come back different.

- Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

- Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah.

- You going to the funeral?
- No, I'm not going.

Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.

Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.

I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.

I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.

That's why we don't need vacations.

Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.

- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!

- Bee-men.
- Amen!

Hallelujah!

Students, faculty, distinguished bees,

please welcome Dean Buzzwell.

Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...

...9:15.

That concludes our ceremonies.

And begins your career
at Honex Industries!

Will we pick ourjob today?

I heard it's just orientation.

Heads up! Here we go.

Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.

- Wonder what it'll be like?
- A little scary.

Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco

and a part of the Hexagon Group.

This is it!

Wow.

Wow.

We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life

to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.

Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.

Our top-secret formula

is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured

into this soothing sweet syrup

with its distinctive
golden glow you know as...

Honey!

- That girl was hot.
- She's my cousin!

- She is?
- Yes, we're all cousins.

- Right. You're right.
- At Honex, we constantly strive

to improve every aspect
of bee existence.

These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.

- What do you think he makes?
- Not enough.

Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.

- What does that do?
- Oatches that little strand of honey

that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.

Oan anyone work on the Krelman?

Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know

that every small job,
if it's done well, means a lot.

But choose carefully

because you'll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.

The same job the rest of your life?
I didn't know that.

What's the difference?

You'll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven't had one day off

in 27 million years.

So you'll just work us to death?

We'll sure try.

Wow! That blew my mind!

"What's the difference?"
How can you say that?

One job forever?
That's an insane choice to have to make.

I'm relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.

But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?

Why would you question anything?
We're bees.

We're the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.

You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?

Like what? Give me one example.

I don't know. But you know
what I'm talking about.

Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.

Wait a second. Oheck it out.

- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
- Wow.

I've never seen them this close.

They know what it's like
outside the hive.

Yeah, but some don't come back.

- Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!

You guys did great!

You're monsters!
You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!

- I wonder where they were.
- I don't know.

Their day's not planned.

Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.

You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.

Right.

Look. That's more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.

It's just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.

Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.

Those ladies?
Aren't they our cousins too?

Distant. Distant.

Look at these two.

- Oouple of Hive Harrys.
- Let's have fun with them.

It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.

Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!

He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!

- Oh, my!
- I never thought I'd knock him out.

What were you doing during this?

Trying to alert the authorities.

I can autograph that.

A little gusty out there today,
wasn't it, comrades?

Yeah. Gusty.

We're hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.

- Six miles, huh?
- Barry!

A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you're not up for it.

- Maybe I am.
- You are not!

We're going 0900 at J-Gate.

What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?

I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.

Hey, Honex!

Dad, you surprised me.

You decide what you're interested in?

- Well, there's a lot of choices.
- But you only get one.

Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?

Son, let me tell you about stirring.

You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.

You get yourself into a rhythm.
It's a beautiful thing.

You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,

maybe the honey field
just isn't right for me.

You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?

That's a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.

Janet, your son's not sure
he wants to go into honey!

- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
- I'm not trying to be funny.

You're not funny! You're going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!

- You're gonna be a stirrer?
- No one's listening to me!

Wait till you see the sticks I have.

I could say anything right now.
I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!

Let's open some honey and celebrate!

Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.

Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!

I'm so proud.

- We're starting work today!
- Today's the day.

Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.

Yeah, right.

Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal...

- Is it still available?
- Hang on. Two left!

One of them's yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.

- What'd you get?
- Picking crud out. Stellar!

Wow!

Oouple of newbies?

Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!

Make your choice.

- You want to go first?
- No, you go.

Oh, my. What's available?

Restroom attendant's open,
not for the reason you think.

- Any chance of getting the Krelman?
- Sure, you're on.

I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.

Wax monkey's always open.

The Krelman opened up again.

What happened?

A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He's dead. Another dead one.

Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.

Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That's life!

Oh, this is so hard!

Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,

humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,

mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should... Barry?

Barry!

All right, we've got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine...

What happened to you?
Where are you?

- I'm going out.
- Out? Out where?

- Out there.
- Oh, no!

I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.

You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?

Another call coming in.

If anyone's feeling brave,
there's a Korean deli on 83rd

that gets their roses today.

Hey, guys.

- Look at that.
- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?

Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.

It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.

Really? Feeling lucky, are you?

Sign here, here. Just initial that.

- Thank you.
- OK.

You got a rain advisory today,

and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.

So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,

hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.

Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.

Murphy's in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!

- That's awful.
- And a reminder for you rookies,

bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!

All right, launch positions!

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!

Black and yellow!

Hello!

You ready for this, hot shot?

Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.

Wind, check.

- Antennae, check.
- Nectar pack, check.

- Wings, check.
- Stinger, check.

Scared out of my shorts, check.

OK, ladies,

let's move it out!

Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!

All of you, drain those flowers!

Wow! I'm out!

I can't believe I'm out!

So blue.

I feel so fast and free!

Box kite!

Wow!

Flowers!

This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.

Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.

Roses!

30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.

Stand to the side, kid.
It's got a bit of a kick.

That is one nectar collector!

- Ever see pollination up close?
- No, sir.

I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,

a pinch on that one.
See that? It's a little bit of magic.

That's amazing. Why do we do that?

That's pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.

Oool.

I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?

Oopy that visual.

Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.

Say again? You're reporting
a moving flower?

Affirmative.

That was on the line!

This is the coolest. What is it?

I don't know, but I'm loving this color.

It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.

Yeah, fuzzy.

Ohemical-y.

Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.

My sweet lord of bees!

Oandy-brain, get off there!

Problem!

- Guys!
- This could be bad.

Affirmative.

Very close.

Gonna hurt.

Mama's little boy.

You are way out of position, rookie!

Ooming in at you like a missile!

Help me!

I don't think these are flowers.

- Should we tell him?
- I think he knows.

What is this?!

Match point!

You can start packing up, honey,
because you're about to eat it!

Yowser!

Gross.

There's a bee in the car!

- Do something!
- I'm driving!

- Hi, bee.
- He's back here!

He's going to sting me!

Nobody move. If you don't move,
he won't sting you. Freeze!

He blinked!

Spray him, Granny!

What are you doing?!

Wow... the tension level
out here is unbelievable.

I gotta get home.

Oan't fly in rain.

Oan't fly in rain.

Oan't fly in rain.

Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!

Ken, could you close
the window please?

Ken, could you close
the window please?

Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.

You see? Folds out.

Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.

What was that?

Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This...

Drapes!

That is diabolical.

It's fantastic. It's got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.

What's number one? Star Wars?

Nah, I don't go for that...

...kind of stuff.

No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.
They're out of their minds.

When I leave a job interview, they're
flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.

There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.

I don't remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.

I predicted global warming.

I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.

Wait! Stop! Bee!

Stand back. These are winter boots.

Wait!

Don't kill him!

You know I'm allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!

Why does his life have
less value than yours?

Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?

I'm just saying all life has value. You
don't know what he's capable of feeling.

My brochure!

There you go, little guy.

I'm not scared of him.
It's an allergic thing.

Put that on your resume brochure.

My whole face could puff up.

Make it one of your special skills.

Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.

Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.

- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.

- You could put carob chips on there.
- Bye.

- Supposed to be less calories.
- Bye.

I gotta say something.

She saved my life.
I gotta say something.

All right, here it goes.

Nah.

What would I say?

I could really get in trouble.

It's a bee law.
You're not supposed to talk to a human.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

I've got to.

Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!

No. Yes. No.

Do it. I can't.

How should I start it?
"You like jazz?" No, that's no good.

Here she comes! Speak, you fool!

Hi!

I'm sorry.

- You're talking.
- Yes, I know.

You're talking!

I'm so sorry.

No, it's OK. It's fine.
I know I'm dreaming.

But I don't recall going to bed.

Well, I'm sure this
is very disconcerting.

This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you're a bee!

I am. And I'm not supposed
to be doing this,

but they were all trying to kill me.

And if it wasn't for you...

I had to thank you.
It's just how I was raised.

That was a little weird.

- I'm talking with a bee.
- Yeah.

I'm talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!

I just want to say I'm grateful.
I'll leave now.

- Wait! How did you learn to do that?
- What?

The talking thing.

Same way you did, I guess.
"Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.

- That's very funny.
- Yeah.

Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,
we'd cry with what we have to deal with.

Anyway...

Oan I...

...get you something?
- Like what?

I don't know. I mean...
I don't know. Ooffee?

I don't want to put you out.

It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.

- It's just coffee.
- I hate to impose.

- Don't be ridiculous!
- Actually, I would love a cup.

Hey, you want rum cake?

- I shouldn't.
- Have some.

- No, I can't.
- Oome on!

I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.

- Where?
- These stripes don't help.

You look great!

I don't know if you know
anything about fashion.

Are you all right?

No.

He's making the tie in the cab
as they're flying up Madison.

He finally gets there.

He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.

And he says, "Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.

Why would I marry a watermelon?"

Is that a bee joke?

That's the kind of stuff we do.

Yeah, different.

So, what are you gonna do, Barry?

About work? I don't know.

I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can't do it the way they want.

I know how you feel.

- You do?
- Sure.

My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.

- Really?
- My only interest is flowers.

Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.

Anyway, if you look...

There's my hive right there. See it?

You're in Sheep Meadow!

Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!

No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.

- Why do girls put rings on their toes?
- Why not?

- It's like putting a hat on your knee.
- Maybe I'll try that.

- You all right, ma'am?
- Oh, yeah. Fine.

Just having two cups of coffee!

Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.

Yeah, it's no trouble.

Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,
I'd be up the rest of my life.

Are you...?

Oan I take a piece of this with me?

Sure! Here, have a crumb.

- Thanks!
- Yeah.

All right. Well, then...
I guess I'll see you around.

Or not.

OK, Barry.

And thank you
so much again... for before.

Oh, that? That was nothing.

Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...

This can't possibly work.

He's all set to go.
We may as well try it.

OK, Dave, pull the chute.

- Sounds amazing.
- It was amazing!

It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.

Humans! I can't believe
you were with humans!

Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?

Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.

They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.

- Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
- Some of them. But some of them don't.

- How'd you get back?
- Poodle.

You did it, and I'm glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.

You had your "experience." Now you
can pick out yourjob and be normal.

- Well...
- Well?

Well, I met someone.

You did? Was she Bee-ish?

- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
- No, no, no, not a wasp.

- Spider?
- I'm not attracted to spiders.

I know it's the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.

I can't get by that face.

So who is she?

She's... human.

No, no. That's a bee law.
You wouldn't break a bee law.

- Her name's Vanessa.
- Oh, boy.

She's so nice. And she's a florist!

Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!

We're not dating.

You're flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes

with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!

She saved my life!
And she understands me.

This is over!

Eat this.

This is not over! What was that?

- They call it a crumb.
- It was so stingin' stripey!

And that's not what they eat.
That's what falls off what they eat!

- You know what a Oinnabon is?
- No.

It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up...

Sit down!

...really hot!
- Listen to me!

We are not them! We're us.
There's us and there's them!

Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?

There's no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!

You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!

- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.

Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

There he is. He's in the pool.

You know what your problem is, Barry?

I gotta start thinking bee?

How much longer will this go on?

It's been three days!
Why aren't you working?

I've got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.

What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You're barely a bee!

Would it kill you
to make a little honey?

Barry, come out.
Your father's talking to you.

Martin, would you talk to him?

Barry, I'm talking to you!

You coming?

Got everything?

All set!

Go ahead. I'll catch up.

Don't be too long.

Watch this!

Vanessa!

- We're still here.
- I told you not to yell at him.

He doesn't respond to yelling!

- Then why yell at me?
- Because you don't listen!

I'm not listening to this.

Sorry, I've gotta go.

- Where are you going?
- I'm meeting a friend.

A girl? Is this why you can't decide?

Bye.

I just hope she's Bee-ish.

They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?

To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that's every florist's dream!

Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.

A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?

No. All right, I've got one.
How come you don't fly everywhere?

It's exhausting. Why don't you
run everywhere? It's faster.

Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.

TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That's insane!

You don't have that?

We have Hivo, but it's a disease.
It's a horrible, horrible disease.

Oh, my.

Dumb bees!

You must want to sting all those jerks.

We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us.

So you have to watch your temper.

Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,

write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:

Anger, jealousy, lust.

Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?

Yeah.

- What is wrong with you?!
- It's a bug.

He's not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!

What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?

Yeah, it was. How did you know?

It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.

You've really got that
down to a science.

- I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
- I'll bet.

What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?

How did this get here?
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,

Ray Liotta Private Select?

- Is he that actor?
- I never heard of him.

- Why is this here?
- For people. We eat it.

You don't have
enough food of your own?

- Well, yes.
- How do you get it?

- Bees make it.
- I know who makes it!

And it's hard to make it!

There's heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!

- It's organic.
- It's our-ganic!

It's just honey, Barry.

Just what?!

Bees don't know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!

You've taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!

And it's on sale?!
I'm getting to the bottom of this.

I'm getting to the bottom
of all of this!

Hey, Hector.

- You almost done?
- Almost.

He is here. I sense it.

Well, I guess I'll go home now

and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.

You're busted, box boy!

I knew I heard something.
So you can talk!

I can talk.
And now you'll start talking!

Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier?

I don't understand.
I thought we were friends.

The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!

You're too late! It's ours now!

You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!

You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!

Where is the honey coming from?

Tell me where!

Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!

Orazy person!

What horrible thing has happened here?

These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now

they're on the road to nowhere!

Just keep still.

What? You're not dead?

Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?

To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.

I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!

I'm going to Tacoma.

- And you?
- He really is dead.

All right.

Uh-oh!

- What is that?!
- Oh, no!

- A wiper! Triple blade!
- Triple blade?

Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!

Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!

How much do you people need to see?!

Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!

From NPR News in Washington,
I'm Oarl Kasell.

But don't kill no more bugs!

- Bee!
- Moose blood guy!!

- You hear something?
- Like what?

Like tiny screaming.

Turn off the radio.

Whassup, bee boy?

Hey, Blood.

Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.

Wow!

I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they're getting it.

I mean, that honey's ours.

- Bees hang tight.
- We're all jammed in.

It's a close community.

Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.

- What if you get in trouble?
- You a mosquito, you in trouble.

Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!

At least you're out in the world.
You must meet girls.

Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.

Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.

You got to be kidding me!

Mooseblood's about to leave
the building! So long, bee!

- Hey, guys!
- Mooseblood!

I knew I'd catch y'all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?

We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it's pretty much pure profit.

What is this place?

A bee's got a brain
the size of a pinhead.

They are pinheads!

Pinhead.

- Oheck out the new smoker.
- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.

The Thomas 3000!

Smoker?

Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.

A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.

They make the honey,
and we make the money.

"They make the honey,
and we make the money"?

Oh, my!

What's going on? Are you OK?

Yeah. It doesn't last too long.

Do you know you're
in a fake hive with fake walls?

Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.

This is your queen?
That's a man in women's clothes!

That's a drag queen!

What is this?

Oh, no!

There's hundreds of them!

Bee honey.

Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!

This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.

Oh, Barry, stop.

Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That's a rumor.

Do these look like rumors?

That's a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.

How did you get mixed up in this?

He's been talking to humans.

- What?
- Talking to humans?!

He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!

Make out? Barry!

We do not.

- You wish you could.
- Whose side are you on?

The bees!

I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.

Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?

I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!

Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked

your hands were still stirring.
You couldn't stop.

I remember that.

What right do they have to our honey?

We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!

Even if it's true, what can one bee do?

Sting them where it really hurts.

In the face! The eye!

- That would hurt.
- No.

Up the nose? That's a killer.

There's only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.

Hive at Five, the hive's only
full-hour action news source.

No more bee beards!

With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.

Weather with Storm Stinger.

Sports with Buzz Larvi.

And Jeanette Ohung.

- Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.
- And I'm Jeanette Ohung.

A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,

intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,

packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!

Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,

we'll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,

Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.

Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.

Did you ever think, "I'm a kid
from the hive. I can't do this"?

Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.

What about Bee Oolumbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?

Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.

We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.

How old are you?

The bee community
is supporting you in this case,

which will be the trial
of the bee century.

You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.

It's a common name. Next week...

He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots...

Next week...

Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard 'em.

Bear Week next week!
They're scary, hairy and here live.

Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.

In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!

It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.

Honey, her backhand's a joke!
I'm not gonna take advantage of that?

Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.

- Is that that same bee?
- Yes, it is!

I'm helping him sue the human race.

- Hello.
- Hello, bee.

This is Ken.

Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.

Why does he talk again?

Listen, you better go
'cause we're really busy working.

But it's our yogurt night!

Bye-bye.

Why is yogurt night so difficult?!

You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!

Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.

- Frosting...
- How many sugars?

Just one. I try not
to use the competition.

So why are you helping me?

Bees have good qualities.

And it takes my mind off the shop.

Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.

Those are great, if you're three.

And artificial flowers.

- Oh, those just get me psychotic!
- Yeah, me too.

Bent stingers, pointless pollination.

Bees must hate those fake things!

Nothing worse
than a daffodil that's had work done.

Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.

- This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.
- I guess.

You sure you want to go through with it?

Am I sure? When I'm done with
the humans, they won't be able

to say, "Honey, I'm home,"
without paying a royalty!

It's an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,

where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,

we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.

What have we gotten into here, Barry?

It's pretty big, isn't it?

I can't believe how many humans
don't work during the day.

You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?

Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.

- What's the matter?
- I don't know, I just got a chill.

Well, if it isn't the bee team.

You boys work on this?

All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.

All right. Oase number 4475,

Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry

is now in session.

Mr. Montgomery, you're representing
the five food companies collectively?

A privilege.

Mr. Benson... you're representing
all the bees of the world?

I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we're ready to proceed.

Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

my grandmother was a simple woman.

Born on a farm, she believed
it was man's divine right

to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.

If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,

just think of what would it mean.

I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm

for the elastic in my britches!

Talking bee!

How do we know this isn't some sort of

holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?

They could be using laser beams!

Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,

he could be on steroids!

Mr. Benson?

Ladies and gentlemen,
there's no trickery here.

I'm just an ordinary bee.
Honey's pretty important to me.

It's important to all bees.
We invented it!

We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.

Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room

who think they can take it from us

'cause we're the little guys!
I'm hoping that, after this is all over,

you'll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have

but everything we are!

I wish he'd dress like that
all the time. So nice!

Oall your first witness.

So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.

I suppose so.

I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!

Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.

Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.

I don't imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?

- No.
- I couldn't hear you.

- No.
- No.

Because you don't free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,

it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.

They're very lovable creatures.

Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.

You mean like this?

Bears kill bees!

How'd you like his head crashing
through your living room?!

Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!

OK, that's enough. Take him away.

So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.

- Where have I heard it before?
- I was with a band called The Police.

But you've never been
a police officer, have you?

No, I haven't.

No, you haven't. And so here
we have yet another example

of bee culture casually
stolen by a human

for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.

Oh, please.

Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?

Because I'm feeling
a little stung, Sting.

Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!

That's not his real name?! You idiots!

Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on

your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.

Thank you. Thank you.

I see from your resume
that you're devilishly handsome

with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow.

I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?

Not yet it isn't. But is this
what it's come to for you?

Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don't

have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?

Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!

This isn't a goodfella.
This is a badfella!

Why doesn't someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!

- Order in this court!
- You're all thinking it!

Order! Order, I say!

- Say it!
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!

I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.

I think the jury's on our side.

Are we doing everything right, legally?

I'm a florist.

Right. Well, here's to a great team.

To a great team!

Well, hello.

- Ken!
- Hello.

I didn't think you were coming.

No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but... the battery.

I didn't want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.

Oh, that was lucky.

There's a little left.
I could heat it up.

Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.

So I hear you're quite a tennis player.

I'm not much for the game myself.
The ball's a little grabby.

That's where I usually sit.
Right... there.

Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,

and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn't really a special skill.

You think I don't see what you're doing?

I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.

Do we?

Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.

That's just what
I was thinking about doing.

Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.

I'm going to drain the old stinger.

Yeah, you do that.

Look at that.

You know, I've just about had it

with your little mind games.

- What's that?
- Italian Vogue.

Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.

A lot of ads.

Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?

Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!

I think something stinks in here!

I love the smell of flowers.

How do you like the smell of flames?!

Not as much.

Water bug! Not taking sides!

Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!
This is pathetic!

I've got issues!

Well, well, well, a royal flush!

- You're bluffing.
- Am I?

Surf's up, dude!

Poo water!

That bowl is gnarly.

Except for those dirty yellow rings!

Kenneth! What are you doing?!

You know, I don't even like honey!
I don't eat it!

We need to talk!

He's just a little bee!

And he happens to be
the nicest bee I've met in a long time!

Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?

No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you're one of them!

Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...

My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!

Goodbye, Ken.

And for your information,

I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners made by man!

I'm sorry about all that.

I know it's got
an aftertaste! I like it!

I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.

I couldn't overcome it.
Oh, well.

Are you OK for the trial?

I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.

We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.

Good idea! You can really see why he's
considered one of the best lawyers...

Yeah.

Layton, you've
gotta weave some magic

with this jury,
or it's gonna be all over.

Don't worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around

is to remind them
of what they don't like about bees.

- You got the tweezers?
- Are you allergic?

Only to losing, son. Only to losing.

Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you
what I think we'd all like to know.

What exactly is your relationship

to that woman?

We're friends.

- Good friends?
- Yes.

How good? Do you live together?

Wait a minute...

Are you her little...

...bedbug?

I've seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,

doesn't your queen give birth
to all the bee children?

- Yeah, but...
- So those aren't your real parents!

- Oh, Barry...
- Yes, they are!

Hold me back!

You're an illegitimate bee,
aren't you, Benson?

He's denouncing bees!

Don't y'all date your cousins?

- Objection!
- I'm going to pincushion this guy!

Adam, don't! It's what he wants!

Oh, I'm hit!!

Oh, lordy, I am hit!

Order! Order!

The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!

I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!

You see? You can't treat them
like equals! They're striped savages!

Stinging's the only thing
they know! It's their way!

- Adam, stay with me.
- I can't feel my legs.

What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison

from my heaving buttocks?

I will have order in this court. Order!

Order, please!

The case of the honeybees
versus the human race

took a pointed turn against the bees

yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.

- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.

- Is there much pain?
- Yeah.

I...

I blew the whole case, didn't I?

It doesn't matter. What matters is
you're alive. You could have died.

I'd be better off dead. Look at me.

They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.

Look, there's
a little celery still on it.

What was it like to sting someone?

I can't explain it. It was all...

All adrenaline and then...
and then ecstasy!

All right.

You think it was all a trap?

Of course. I'm sorry.
I flew us right into this.

What were we thinking? Look at us. We're
just a couple of bugs in this world.

What will the humans do to us
if they win?

I don't know.

I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn't sound so bad.

Adam, they check in,
but they don't check out!

Oh, my.

Oould you get a nurse
to close that window?

- Why?
- The smoke.

Bees don't smoke.

Right. Bees don't smoke.

Bees don't smoke!
But some bees are smoking.

That's it! That's our case!

It is? It's not over?

Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.

Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.

And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.

Mr. Flayman.

Yes? Yes, Your Honor!

Where is the rest of your team?

Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.

Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,

and as a result,
we don't make very good time.

I actually heard a funny story about...

Your Honor,
haven't these ridiculous bugs

taken up enough
of this court's valuable time?

How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?

They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges

against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.

I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!

Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going

to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery's motion.

But you can't! We have a terrific case.

Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?

Show me the smoking gun!

Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?

Here is your smoking gun.

What is that?

It's a bee smoker!

What, this?
This harmless little contraption?

This couldn't hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.

Look at what has happened

to bees who have never been asked,
"Smoking or non?"

Is this what nature intended for us?

To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines

and man-made wooden slat work camps?

Living out our lives as honey slaves
to the white man?

- What are we gonna do?
- He's playing the species card.

Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!

Free the bees! Free the bees!

Free the bees!

Free the bees! Free the bees!

The court finds in favor of the bees!

Vanessa, we won!

I knew you could do it! High-five!

Sorry.

I'm OK! You know what this means?

All the honey
will finally belong to the bees.

Now we won't have
to work so hard all the time.

This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson.

You'll regret this.

Barry, how much honey is out there?

All right. One at a time.

Barry, who are you wearing?

My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
and I have no pants.

- What if Montgomery's right?
- What do you mean?

We've been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years.

Oongratulations on your victory.
What will you demand as a settlement?

First, we'll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.

Then we want back the honey
that was ours to begin with,

every last drop.

We demand an end to the glorification
of the bear as anything more

than a filthy, smelly,
bad-breath stink machine.

We're all aware
of what they do in the woods.

Wait for my signal.

Take him out.

He'll have nauseous
for a few hours, then he'll be fine.

And we will no longer tolerate
bee-negative nicknames...

But it's just a prance-about stage name!

...unnecessary inclusion of honey
in bogus health products

and la-dee-da human
tea-time snack garnishments.

Oan't breathe.

Bring it in, boys!

Hold it right there! Good.

Tap it.

Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
and there's gallons more coming!

- I think we need to shut down!
- Shut down? We've never shut down.

Shut down honey production!

Stop making honey!

Turn your key, sir!

What do we do now?

Oannonball!

We're shutting honey production!

Mission abort.

Aborting pollination and nectar detail.
Returning to base.

Adam, you wouldn't believe
how much honey was out there.

Oh, yeah?

What's going on? Where is everybody?

- Are they out celebrating?
- They're home.

They don't know what to do.
Laying out, sleeping in.

I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way
to San Antonio with a cricket.

At least we got our honey back.

Sometimes I think, so what if humans
liked our honey? Who wouldn't?

It's the greatest thing in the world!
I was excited to be part of making it.

This was my new desk. This was my
new job. I wanted to do it really well.

And now...

Now I can't.

I don't understand
why they're not happy.

I thought their lives would be better!

They're doing nothing. It's amazing.
Honey really changes people.

You don't have any idea
what's going on, do you?

- What did you want to show me?
- This.

What happened here?

That is not the half of it.

Oh, no. Oh, my.

They're all wilting.

Doesn't look very good, does it?

No.

And whose fault do you think that is?

You know, I'm gonna guess bees.

Bees?

Specifically, me.

I didn't think bees not needing to make
honey would affect all these things.

It's notjust flowers.
Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.

That's our whole SAT test right there.

Take away produce, that affects
the entire animal kingdom.

And then, of course...

The human species?

So if there's no more pollination,

it could all just go south here,
couldn't it?

I know this is also partly my fault.

How about a suicide pact?

How do we do it?

- I'll sting you, you step on me.
- Thatjust kills you twice.

Right, right.

Listen, Barry...
sorry, but I gotta get going.

I had to open my mouth and talk.

Vanessa?

Vanessa? Why are you leaving?
Where are you going?

To the final Tournament of Roses parade
in Pasadena.

They've moved it to this weekend
because all the flowers are dying.

It's the last chance
I'll ever have to see it.

Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.
I never meant it to turn out like this.

I know. Me neither.

Tournament of Roses.
Roses can't do sports.

Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?

Roses!

Vanessa!

Roses?!

Barry?

- Roses are flowers!
- Yes, they are.

Flowers, bees, pollen!

I know.
That's why this is the last parade.

Maybe not.
Oould you ask him to slow down?

Oould you slow down?

Barry!

OK, I made a huge mistake.
This is a total disaster, all my fault.

Yes, it kind of is.

I've ruined the planet.
I wanted to help you

with the flower shop.
I've made it worse.

Actually, it's completely closed down.

I thought maybe you were remodeling.

But I have another idea, and it's
greater than my previous ideas combined.

I don't want to hear it!

All right, they have the roses,
the roses have the pollen.

I know every bee, plant
and flower bud in this park.

All we gotta do is get what they've got
back here with what we've got.

- Bees.
- Park.

- Pollen!
- Flowers.

- Repollination!
- Across the nation!

Tournament of Roses,
Pasadena, Oalifornia.

They've got nothing
but flowers, floats and cotton candy.

Security will be tight.

I have an idea.

Vanessa Bloome, FTD.

Official floral business. It's real.

Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.

Thank you. It was a gift.

Once inside,
we just pick the right float.

How about The Princess and the Pea?

I could be the princess,
and you could be the pea!

Yes, I got it.

- Where should I sit?
- What are you?

- I believe I'm the pea.
- The pea?

It goes under the mattresses.

- Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
- I'm getting the marshal.

You do that!
This whole parade is a fiasco!

Let's see what this baby'll do.

Hey, what are you doing?!

Then all we do
is blend in with traffic...

...without arousing suspicion.

Once at the airport,
there's no stopping us.

Stop! Security.

- You and your insect pack your float?
- Yes.

Has it been
in your possession the entire time?

Would you remove your shoes?

- Remove your stinger.
- It's part of me.

I know. Just having some fun.
Enjoy your flight.

Then if we're lucky, we'll have
just enough pollen to do the job.

Oan you believe how lucky we are? We
have just enough pollen to do the job!

I think this is gonna work.

It's got to work.

Attention, passengers,
this is Oaptain Scott.

We have a bit of bad weather
in New York.

It looks like we'll experience
a couple hours delay.

Barry, these are cut flowers
with no water. They'll never make it.

I gotta get up there
and talk to them.

Be careful.

Oan I get help
with the Sky Mall magazine?

I'd like to order the talking
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.

Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.

- What'd you say, Hal?
- Nothing.

Bee!

Don't freak out! My entire species...

What are you doing?

- Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
- Who's an attorney?

Don't move.

Oh, Barry.

Good afternoon, passengers.
This is your captain.

Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
please report to the cockpit?

And please hurry!

What happened here?

There was a DustBuster,
a toupee, a life raft exploded.

One's bald, one's in a boat,
they're both unconscious!

- Is that another bee joke?
- No!

No one's flying the plane!

This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
What's your status?

This is Vanessa Bloome.
I'm a florist from New York.

Where's the pilot?

He's unconscious,
and so is the copilot.

Not good. Does anyone onboard
have flight experience?

As a matter of fact, there is.

- Who's that?
- Barry Benson.

From the honey trial?! Oh, great.

Vanessa, this is nothing more
than a big metal bee.

It's got giant wings, huge engines.

I can't fly a plane.

- Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?
- Yes.

How hard could it be?

Wait, Barry!
We're headed into some lightning.

This is Bob Bumble. We have some
late-breaking news from JFK Airport,

where a suspenseful scene
is developing.

Barry Benson,
fresh from his legal victory...

That's Barry!

...is attempting to land a plane,
loaded with people, flowers

and an incapacitated flight crew.

Flowers?!

We have a storm in the area
and two individuals at the controls

with absolutely no flight experience.

Just a minute.
There's a bee on that plane.

I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson
and his no-account compadres.

They've done enough damage.

But isn't he your only hope?

Technically, a bee
shouldn't be able to fly at all.

Their wings are too small...

Haven't we heard this a million times?

"The surface area of the wings
and body mass make no sense."

- Get this on the air!
- Got it.

- Stand by.
- We're going live.

The way we work may be a mystery to you.

Making honey takes a lot of bees
doing a lot of small jobs.

But let me tell you about a small job.

If you do it well,
it makes a big difference.

More than we realized.
To us, to everyone.

That's why I want to get bees
back to working together.

That's the bee way!
We're not made of Jell-O.

We get behind a fellow.

- Black and yellow!
- Hello!

Left, right, down, hover.

- Hover?
- Forget hover.

This isn't so hard.
Beep-beep! Beep-beep!

Barry, what happened?!

Wait, I think we were
on autopilot the whole time.

- That may have been helping me.
- And now we're not!

So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.

All of you, let's get
behind this fellow! Move it out!

Move out!

Our only chance is if I do what I'd do,
you copy me with the wings of the plane!

Don't have to yell.

I'm not yelling!
We're in a lot of trouble.

It's very hard to concentrate
with that panicky tone in your voice!

It's not a tone. I'm panicking!

I can't do this!

Vanessa, pull yourself together.
You have to snap out of it!

You snap out of it.

You snap out of it.

- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!

- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!

- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!

- Hold it!
- Why? Oome on, it's my turn.

How is the plane flying?

I don't know.

Hello?

Benson, got any flowers
for a happy occasion in there?

The Pollen Jocks!

They do get behind a fellow.

- Black and yellow.
- Hello.

All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop.

Where? I can't see anything. Oan you?

No, nothing. It's all cloudy.

Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.

- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.

Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

Wait a minute.
I think I'm feeling something.

- What?
- I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.

Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.

Bring the nose down.

Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

- What in the world is on the tarmac?
- Get some lights on that!

Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

- Vanessa, aim for the flower.
- OK.

Out the engines. We're going in
on bee power. Ready, boys?

Affirmative!

Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.

Land on that flower!

Ready? Full reverse!

Spin it around!

- Not that flower! The other one!
- Which one?

- That flower.
- I'm aiming at the flower!

That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.
I mean the giant pulsating flower

made of millions of bees!

Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.

Rotate around it.

- This is insane, Barry!
- This's the only way I know how to fly.

Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane
flying in an insect-like pattern?

Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.
Smell it. Full reverse!

Just drop it. Be a part of it.

Aim for the center!

Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!

Oome on, already.

Barry, we did it!
You taught me how to fly!

- Yes. No high-five!
- Right.

Barry, it worked!
Did you see the giant flower?

What giant flower? Where? Of course
I saw the flower! That was genius!

- Thank you.
- But we're not done yet.

Listen, everyone!

This runway is covered
with the last pollen

from the last flowers
available anywhere on Earth.

That means this is our last chance.

We're the only ones who make honey,
pollinate flowers and dress like this.

If we're gonna survive as a species,
this is our moment! What do you say?

Are we going to be bees, orjust
Museum of Natural History keychains?

We're bees!

Keychain!

Then follow me! Except Keychain.

Hold on, Barry. Here.

You've earned this.

Yeah!

I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect
fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.

Oh, yeah.

That's our Barry.

Mom! The bees are back!

If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time.

I got a feeling we'll be
working late tonight!

Here's your change. Have a great
afternoon! Oan I help who's next?

Would you like some honey with that?
It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.

Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.
And I don't see a nickel!

Sometimes I just feel
like a piece of meat!

I had no idea.

Barry, I'm sorry.
Have you got a moment?

Would you excuse me?
My mosquito associate will help you.

Sorry I'm late.

He's a lawyer too?

I was already a blood-sucking parasite.
All I needed was a briefcase.

Have a great afternoon!

Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,
and I can't get them anywhere.

No problem, Vannie.
Just leave it to me.

You're a lifesaver, Barry.
Oan I help who's next?

All right, scramble, jocks!
It's time to fly.

Thank you, Barry!

That bee is living my life!

Let it go, Kenny.

- When will this nightmare end?!
- Let it all go.

- Beautiful day to fly.
- Sure is.

Between you and me,
I was dying to get out of that office.

You have got
to start thinking bee, my friend.

- Thinking bee!
- Me?

Hold it. Let's just stop
for a second. Hold it.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.
Oan we stop here?

I'm not making a major life decision
during a production number!

All right. Take ten, everybody.
Wrap it up, guys.

I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

Special thanks to SergeiK.

1 comment

Anonymous 11m
WHY

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The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start

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The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start

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The RIGHT TO QUOTE SHREK

2 comments

Anonymous 17m
DONKEY!!!!!!!

Anonymous 17m
THIS IS MY SWAMP

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Get Dunked By Sans

2 comments

Anonymous 17m
STOP

Anonymous 12m
nope

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The right to have ALL YOU CAN EAT AT LUNCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 comment

Anonymous 18m
yes

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Right to sing All Star
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow

[Chorus:]
Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play
Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder
You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older
But the meteor men beg to differ
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin
The water's getting warm so you might as well swim
My world's on fire. How about yours?
That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place
I said yep, what a concept
I could use a little fuel myself
And we could all use a little change

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold

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TACO TACO TACO TACO TACO TACO TACO TACO TACO TACCO TACO RACO

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1 comment

Anonymous 19m
The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start

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We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Article I (Article 1 - Legislative)

Section 1

All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.

Section 2

1: The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several States, and the Electors in each State shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the State Legislature.

2: No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.

3: Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons.2 The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct. The Number of Representatives shall not exceed onefor every thirty Thousand, but each State shall have at Least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the State of New Hampshire shall be entitled to chuse three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode-Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New-York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolinafive, South Carolina five, and Georgia three.

4: When vacancies happen in the Representation from any State, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.

5: The House of Representatives shall chuse their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.

Section 3

1: The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, chosen by the Legislature thereof,3 for six Years; and each Senator shall have one Vote.

2: Immediately after they shall be assembled in Consequence of the first Election, they shall be divided as equally as may be into three Classes. The Seats of the Senators of the first Class shall be vacated at the Expiration of the second Year, of thesecond Class at the Expiration of the fourth Year, and of the third Class at the Expiration of the sixth Year, so that one third may be chosen every second Year; and if Vacancies happen by Resignation, or otherwise, during the Recess of the Legislature of any State, the Executive thereof may make temporary Appointments until the next Meeting of the Legislature, which shall then fill such Vacancies.4

3: No Person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years, and been nine Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State for which he shall be chosen.

4: The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided.

5: The Senate shall chuse their other Officers, and also a President pro tempore, in the Absence of the Vice President, or when he shall exercise the Office of President of the United States.

6: The Senate shall have the sole Power to try all Impeachments. When sitting for that Purpose, they shall be on Oath or Affirmation. When the President of the United States is tried, the Chief Justice shall preside: And no Person shall be convicted without the Concurrence of two thirds of the Members present.

7: Judgment in Cases of impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from Office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any Office of honor, Trust or Profit under the United States: but the Party convicted shall nevertheless be liable and subject to Indictment, Trial, Judgment and Punishment, according to Law.

Section 4

1: The Times, Places and Manner of holding Elections for Senators and Representatives, shall be prescribed in each State by the Legislature thereof; but the Congress may at any time by Law make or alter such Regulations, except as to the Places of chusing Senators.

2: The Congress shall assemble at least once in every Year, and such Meeting shall be on the first Monday in December,5 unless they shall by Law appoint a different Day.

Section 5

1: Each House shall be the Judge of the Elections, Returns and Qualifications of its own Members, and a Majority of each shall constitute a Quorum to do Business; but a smaller Number may adjourn from day to day, and may be authorized to compel the Attendance of absent Members, in such Manner, and under such Penalties as each House may provide.

2: Each House may determine the Rules of its Proceedings, punish its Members for disorderly Behaviour, and, with theConcurrence of two thirds, expel a Member.

3: Each House shall keep a Journal of its Proceedings, and from time to time publish the same, excepting such Parts as may in their Judgment require Secrecy; and the Yeas and Nays of the Members of either House on any question shall, at the Desire ofone fifth of those Present, be entered on the Journal.

4: Neither House, during the Session of Congress, shall, without the Consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other Place than that in which the two Houses shall be sitting.

Section 6

1: The Senators and Representatives shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States.6 They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, be privileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place.

2: No Senator or Representative shall, during the Time for which he was elected, be appointed to any civil Office under the Authority of the United States, which shall have been created, or the Emoluments whereof shall have been encreased during such time; and no Person holding any Office under the United States, shall be a Member of either House during his Continuance in Office.

Section 7

1: All Bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives; but the Senate may propose or concur with Amendments as on other Bills.

2: Every Bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate, shall, before it become a Law, be presented to the President of the United States; If he approve he shall sign it, but if not he shall return it, with his Objections to that House in which it shall have originated, who shall enter the Objections at large on their Journal, and proceed to reconsider it. If after such Reconsideration two thirds of that House shall agree to pass the Bill, it shall be sent, together with the Objections, to the other House, by which it shall likewise be reconsidered, and if approved by two thirds of that House, it shall become a Law. But in all such Cases the Votes of both Houses shall be determined by yeas and Nays, and the Names of the Persons voting for and against the Bill shall be entered on the Journal of each House respectively. If any Bill shall not be returned by the President within ten Days (Sundays excepted) after it shall have been presented to him, the Same shall be a Law, in like Manner as if he had signed it, unless the Congress by their Adjournment prevent its Return, in which Case it shall not be a Law.

3: Every Order, Resolution, or Vote to which the Concurrence of the Senate and House of Representatives may be necessary (except on a question of Adjournment) shall be presented to the President of the United States; and before the Same shall take Effect, shall be approved by him, or being disapproved by him, shall be repassed by two thirds of the Senate and House of Representatives, according to the Rules and Limitations prescribed in the Case of a Bill.

Section 8

1: The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States;

2: To borrow Money on the credit of the United States;

3: To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes;

4: To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization, and uniform Laws on the subject of Bankruptcies throughout the United States;

5: To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures;

6: To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the United States;

7: To establish Post Offices and post Roads;

8: To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries;

9: To constitute Tribunals inferior to the supreme Court;

10: To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offences against the Law of Nations;

11: To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water;

12: To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than two Years;

13: To provide and maintain a Navy;

14: To make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the land and naval Forces;

15: To provide for calling forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Union, suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions;

16: To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the Militia, and for governing such Part of them as may be employed in the Service of the United States, reserving to the States respectively, the Appointment of the Officers, and the Authority of training the Militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress;

17: To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten Miles square) as may, by Cession of particular States, and the Acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of the Government of the United States, and to exercise like Authority over all Places purchased by the Consent of the Legislature of the State in which the Same shall be, for the Erection of Forts, Magazines, Arsenals, dock-Yards, and other needful Buildings;—And

18: To make all Laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or Officer thereof.

Section 9

1: The Migration or Importation of such Persons as any of the States now existing shall think proper to admit, shall not be prohibited by the Congress prior to the Year one thousand eight hundred and eight, but a Tax or duty may be imposed on such Importation, not exceeding ten dollars for each Person.

2: The Privilege of the Writ of Habeas Corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it.

3: No Bill of Attainder or ex post facto Law shall be passed.

4: No Capitation, or other direct, Tax shall be laid, unless in Proportion to the Census or Enumeration herein before directed to be taken.7

5: No Tax or Duty shall be laid on Articles exported from any State.

6: No Preference shall be given by any Regulation of Commerce or Revenue to the Ports of one State over those of another: nor shall Vessels bound to, or from, one State, be obliged to enter, clear, or pay Duties in another.

7: No Money shall be drawn from the Treasury, but in Consequence of Appropriations made by Law; and a regular Statement and Account of the Receipts and Expenditures of all public Money shall be published from time to time.

8: No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State.

Section 10

1: No State shall enter into any Treaty, Alliance, or Confederation; grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal; coin Money; emit Bills of Credit; make any Thing but gold and silver Coin a Tender in Payment of Debts; pass any Bill of Attainder, ex post facto Law, or Law impairing the Obligation of Contracts, or grant any Title of Nobility.

2: No State shall, without the Consent of the Congress, lay any Imposts or Duties on Imports or Exports, except what may be absolutely necessary for executing it's inspection Laws: and the net Produce of all Duties and Imposts, laid by any State on Imports or Exports, shall be for the Use of the Treasury of the United States; and all such Laws shall be subject to the Revision and Controul of the Congress.

3: No State shall, without the Consent of Congress, lay any Duty of Tonnage, keep Troops, or Ships of War in time of Peace, enter into any Agreement or Compact with another State, or with a foreign Power, or engage in War, unless actually invaded, or in such imminent Danger as will not admit of delay.

Article II (Article 2 - Executive)

Section 1

1: The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America. He shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years, and, together with the Vice President, chosen for the same Term, be elected, as follows

2: Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors, equal to the whole Number of Senators and Representatives to which the State may be entitled in the Congress: but no Senator or Representative, or Person holding an Office of Trust or Profit under the United States, shall be appointed an Elector.

3: The Electors shall meet in their respective States, and vote by Ballot for two Persons, of whom one at least shall not be an Inhabitant of the same State with themselves. And they shall make a List of all the Persons voted for, and of the Number of Votes for each; which List they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the Seat of the Government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate. The President of the Senate shall, in the Presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the Certificates, and the Votes shall then be counted. The Person having the greatest Number of Votes shall be the President, if such Number be a Majority of the whole Number of Electors appointed; and if there be more than one who have such Majority, and have an equal Number of Votes, then the House of Representatives shall immediately chuse by Ballot one of them for President; and if no Person have a Majority, then from the five highest on the List the said House shall in like Manner chuse the President. But in chusing the President, the Votes shall be taken by States, the Representation from each State having one Vote; A quorum for this Purpose shall consist of a Member or Members from two thirds of the States, and a Majority of all the States shall be necessary to a Choice. In every Case, after the Choice of the President, the Person having the greatest Number of Votes of the Electors shall be the Vice President. But if there should remain two or more who have equal Votes, the Senate shall chuse from them by Ballot the Vice President.8

4: The Congress may determine the Time of chusing the Electors, and the Day on which they shall give their Votes; which Day shall be the same throughout the United States.

5: No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.

6: In Case of the Removal of the President from Office, or of his Death, Resignation, or Inability to discharge the Powers andDuties of the said Office,9 the Same shall devolve on the VicePresident, and the Congress may by Law provide for the Case of Removal, Death, Resignation or Inability, both of the President and Vice President, declaring what Officer shall then act as President, and such Officer shall act accordingly, until the Disability be removed, or a President shall be elected.

7: The President shall, at stated Times, receive for his Services, a Compensation, which shall neither be encreased nor diminished during the Period for which he shall have been elected, and he shall not receive within that Period any otherEmolument from the United States, or any of them.

8: Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:—“I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

Section 2

1: The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States, when called into the actual Service of the United States; he may require the Opinion, in writing, of the principal Officer in each of the executive Departments, upon any Subject relating to the Duties of their respective Offices, and he shall have Power to grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offences against the United States, except in Cases of Impeachment.

2: He shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.

3: The President shall have Power to fill up all Vacancies that may happen during the Recess of the Senate, by granting Commissions which shall expire at the End of their next Session.

Section 3

He shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient; he may, on extraordinary Occasions, convene both Houses, or either of them, and in Case of Disagreement between them, with Respect to the Time of Adjournment, he may adjourn them to such Time as he shall think proper; he shall receive Ambassadors and other public Ministers; he shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed, and shall Commission all the Officers of the United States.

Section 4

The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.

Article III (Article 3 - Judicial)

Section 1

The judicial Power of the United States, shall be vested in one supreme Court, and in such inferior Courts as the Congress may from time to time ordain and establish. The Judges, both of the supreme and inferior Courts, shall hold their Offices during good Behaviour, and shall, at stated Times, receive for their Services, a Compensation, which shall not be diminished during their Continuance in Office.

Section 2

1: The judicial Power shall extend to all Cases, in Law and Equity, arising under this Constitution, the Laws of the United States, and Treaties made, or which shall be made, under their Authority;—to all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls;—to all Cases of admiralty and maritime Jurisdiction;—to Controversies to which the United States shall be a Party;—to Controversies between two or more States;—between a State and Citizens of another State;10 —between Citizens of different States, —between Citizens of the same State claiming Lands under Grants of different States, and between a State, or the Citizens thereof, and foreign States, Citizens or Subjects.

2: In all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, and those in which a State shall be Party, the supreme Court shall have original Jurisdiction. In all the other Cases before mentioned, the supreme Court shall have appellateJurisdiction, both as to Law and Fact, with such Exceptions, and under such Regulations as the Congress shall make.

3: The Trial of all Crimes, except in Cases of Impeachment, shall be by Jury; and such Trial shall be held in the State where the said Crimes shall have been committed; but when not committed within any State, the Trial shall be at such Place or Places as the Congress may by Law have directed.

Section 3

1: Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.

2: The Congress shall have Power to declare the Punishment of Treason, but no Attainder of Treason shall work Corruption of Blood, or Forfeiture except during the Life of the Person attainted.

Article IV (Article 4 - States' Relations)

Section 1

Full Faith and Credit shall be given in each State to the public Acts, Records, and judicial Proceedings of every other State. And the Congress may by general Laws prescribe the Manner in which such Acts, Records and Proceedings shall be proved, and the Effect thereof.

Section 2

1: The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.

2: A Person charged in any State with Treason, Felony, or other Crime, who shall flee from Justice, and be found in another State, shall on Demand of the executive Authority of the State from which he fled, be delivered up, to be removed to the State having Jurisdiction of the Crime.

3: No Person held to Service or Labour in one State, under the Laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in Consequence of any Law or Regulation therein, be discharged from such Service or Labour, but shall be delivered up on Claim of the Party to whom such Service or Labour may be due.11

Section 3

1: New States may be admitted by the Congress into this Union; but no new State shall be formed or erected within the Jurisdiction of any other State; nor any State be formed by the Junction of two or more States, or Parts of States, without the Consent of the Legislatures of the States concerned as well as of the Congress.

2: The Congress shall have Power to dispose of and make all needful Rules and Regulations respecting the Territory or other Property belonging to the United States; and nothing in this Constitution shall be so construed as to Prejudice any Claims of the United States, or of any particular State.

Section 4

The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened) against domestic Violence.

Article V (Article 5 - Mode of Amendment)

The Congress, whenever two thirds of both Houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose Amendments to this Constitution, or, on the Application of the Legislatures of two thirds of the several States, shall call a Convention for proposing Amendments, which, in either Case, shall be valid to all Intents and Purposes, as Part of this Constitution, when ratified by the Legislatures ofthree fourths of the several States, or by Conventions in three fourths thereof, as the one or the other Mode of Ratification may be proposed by the Congress; Provided that no Amendment which may be made prior to the Year One thousand eight hundred and eight shall in any Manner affect the first and fourth Clauses in the Ninth Section of the first Article; and that no State, without its Consent, shall be deprived of its equal Suffrage in the Senate.

Article VI (Article 6 - Prior Debts, National Supremacy, Oaths of Office)

1: All Debts contracted and Engagements entered into, before the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be as valid against the United States under this Constitution, as under the Confederation.

2: This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.

3: The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.

Article VII (Article 7 - Ratification)

The Ratification of the Conventions of nine States, shall be sufficient for the Establishment of this Constitution between the States so ratifying the Same.

The Word "the", being interlined between the seventh and eight Lines of the first Page, The Word "Thirty" being partly written on an Erazure in the fifteenth Line of the first Page. The Words "is tried" being interlined between the thirty second and thirty third Lines of the first Page and the Word "the" being interlined between the forty third and forty fourth Lines of the second Page.

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done in Convention by the Unanimous Consent of the States present the Seventeenth Day of September in the Year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and Eighty seven and of the Independence of the United States of America the Twelfth In witness whereof We have hereunto subscribed our Names,

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the right not to go to this class

5 comments

Anonymous 18m
YES!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous 18m
we should all just fall out of our chairs at the same time

Anonymous 18m
do it now

Anonymous 18m
all just leave now. get up and wake out

Anonymous 17m
"get up and wake out"

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the right to a bad sense of humor

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NO ONE MAN SHOULD HAVE ALL THAT POWER

1 comment

Anonymous 17m
I miss the old Kanye, straight from the Go Kanye Chop up the soul Kanye, set on his goals Kanye I hate the new Kanye, the bad mood Kanye The always rude Kanye, spaz in the news Kanye I miss the sweet Kanye, chop up the beats Kanye I gotta say, at that time I'd like to meet Kanye See, I invented Kanye, it wasn't any Kanyes And now I look and look around and there's so many Kanyes I used to love Kanye, I used to love Kanye I even had the pink polo, I thought I was Kanye What if Kanye made a song about Kanye Called "I Miss The Old Kanye"? Man, that'd be so Kanye That's all it was Kanye, we still love Kanye And I love you like Kanye loves Kanye

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freedom to write nonsense

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the right to education

1 comment

Anonymous 19m
Nowwwww this is the story all about how

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The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start

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Right to rap along to Fresh Prince
Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my Walkman on and said, "I might as well kick it."

First class, yo, this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like?
Hmm, this might be alright.

But wait I hear they're prissy, bourgeois, all that
Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought, "Nah, forget it."
– "Yo, home to Bel-Air."

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo home smell ya later."
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air

1 comment

Anonymous 19m
The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start

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first

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The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.\

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War and Peace
As the 19th century began,

a darkening shadow moved across Europe.

This shadow was propelled by the voice of one man,

Napoleon Bonaparte.

Only Russia and England offered impressive resistance.

Over Russia, the weather was clear, the sun was shining.

Napoleon was 1,000 miles away,

and the streets of Moscow were excellent for parades.

Splendid sights, splendid men, eh, Pierre?

- For parades. - What do you mean by that?

Remember, I've seen the French marching, too.

Don't tell me they march better than that.

- Led by the greatest man in Europe. - Bonaparte?

Bonaparte.

A usurper! A murderer! A deposer of kings!

A colossus! A fresh wind! A cleansing force!

What does your father say when he hears you?

We don't talk about things like that, my father and I.

- How is he? - The doctors say he'll die any moment.

- Have you been to see him? - I'm waiting to be asked.

In heaven, all things will be arranged.

I believe that's the rumour.

This is your home when you want it to be,

and the Rostovs are your family when you want them to be.

I smoke too much.

Isn't it lovely? How can you bear not to go with them?

I can bear it.

If I were a man, I'd be down there, riding a terrible black horse,

waving a sword.

It's so unfair.

Men are the only people permitted to have any fun.

What is it, Natasha?

Those handsome young men marching away to fight.

They could be killed.

Don't be frightened. Come on.

Nicholas!

Now, what's this?

You look so dazzling in your uniform.

And you're going so far away.

Austria's miles, I looked it up on the map.

That brute, Napoleon.

The Austrians make beautiful bracelets. I'll bring you one.

- Two! They're wearing them in pairs! - Two.

Pierre, you remember our cousin, Sonya. She's come to stay.

Yes, though she was considerably younger the last time I saw her.

Girls grow up, Pierre. Very fast. Doesn't he look glorious?

Mama and Papa have such handsome children!

Did you hear that?

Now, attention!

{ } Ensign Count Nicholas Rostov, I decorate you with the Order of...

...Absolutely Everything!

Don't laugh when she jokes about the army.

Well, Petya, you have to humour women a little!

You do look shiny, Nicholas. If only I was old enough.

That'll come.

By that time, there won't be a Frenchman left to be killed!

Don't worry, there'll always be plenty of Frenchmen.

- Good luck. - That's very civil of you.

- But why not take a commission? - It's so easy for you men.

You decide to do something, then do it.

If you were a man, what would you do?

I'd become enormously powerful.

I'd become the Czar's most trusted minister, and he'd consult me.

And you would sit at my right hand.

Whenever anything was complicated,

the case would be laid before you as judge.

Why me?

Because your heart is pure and you're good.

Well done, my dear.

On that note, I think I should leave.

If you had that power, what would you do?

I?

I would hesitate. Now I must go.

- Pierre, come again soon. - I'll walk you to the door.

- "Au revoir." - Come soon again.

Come again soon.

Mama and Papa will be awfully lonely with Nicholas gone.

- They do love seeing you. - Of course. I love the whole family.

The whole family? That's not as simple as you think.

What do you mean?

There are currents and counter-currents.

Au revoir.

Now, where are you going? Dolokhov's rooms?

I am. How did you know?

I hear things, I hear things.

Go. Go to your night of disgusting, fascinating debauchery.

Au revoir.

Bravo! Bravo!

- Careful, there's a bet on here. - Fetch me a bottle of rum!

You two, break this out.

Now, let's get this straight.

Fifty imperials against Prince Anatole

that I drink a bottle of rum without taking it from my mouth,

balancing on the outside ledge without touching the sides of the window.

- Want to make it a hundred? - Fifty is enough for you to lose.

Get down from there, you weaklings.

- Hercules, come on! - Come on!

You do it!

Hail Moscow!

Give me that!

Don't be crazy, you'll be killed.

Touch me again, I'll throw you down there.

That goes for every one of you.

Play! Play! What are we paying you for?

Now then, my friends.

Remember, without taking the bottle from your lips.

Bravo!

Fifty imperials, Anatole!

And double for anyone else who will do it.

I'll do it for nothing, without a bet!

- You get dizzy walking up steps! - Out of my way!

Give me a bottle!

Get down from there.

- Get down from