https://padlet.com/fwenger1/4t4t7o0bobvckk7y Intimate Relationships Goals en-us 2022-02-08 03:35:37 UTC 2022-04-28 06:17:37 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f604.png fwenger1 https://padlet.com/fwenger1/4t4t7o0bobvckk7y/wish/2034567446 I will attend all of my Monday night volleyball games, and on top of that, establish at least two solid workout nights. I will go with a partner If I can and make sure to be there for at least 30 minutes. 

Barriers: Time and motivation are my biggest struggles here. I have class all day long on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I cannot really afford any free time, so all my exercise must be done M/W/F and if I miss a day, that will just have to be lost time that can't be made up. Also, going to the gym alone is tough and can be scary for me, and some days that is just a big enough deterrent.

Strengths: I had back surgery in June and since my 1 month date, I have not missed a Sunday in the gym, so I at least have that going for me and know it is possible to find at least one day every single week. I am also guaranteed two volleyball games every Monday night. 

Update 2/14: I've been really struggling to meet this goal so I haven't changed it. I haven't missed a volleyball game but I haven't made time for the gym more than once a week most weeks. 

Update 3/23: I haven't met this goal in a really long time. I was consistently going to my games but I recently sprained my ankle so I haven't been able to do anything at the rec. Also, my volleyball season just finished this Monday so I will no longer have any games this semester. Therefore, until I can heal, I'm going to change my goal. My new goal is to stretch every single day for at least 15 minutes and to try and do some little things to regain the flexibility in my ankle so I can get back to the rec.

Update 4/25: Unfortunately, my ankle is still messed up. I really need to see a doctor but have just been putting it off because I don't really have the mental capacity to worry about it. I have, however been stretching every single day and trying to improve the flexibility of my ankle. I got of crutches and out of my boot within about 4 weeks and now just keep my ankle wrapped, but I did re-injure it about a week and a half ago so it has been hurting me quiet a bit while I stretch lately. With this being said, I really want to get back into my workout routine this summer, so my current goal is going to be take it easy the next few weeks and get to a doctor so I can be back in the gym this summer. ]]> 2022-02-08 03:37:53 UTC https://padlet.com/fwenger1/4t4t7o0bobvckk7y/wish/2034567446 fwenger1 https://padlet.com/fwenger1/4t4t7o0bobvckk7y/wish/2034568679 I will do a better job of keeping in touch with my family and distant friends. I will make sure to text/call my family members at least 5 days a week and check on my friends at least 3 times a week. 

Barriers: I tend to be pretty forgetful and once I start working on something, I often neglect my phone, sometimes for hours. I also have a bit of a complicated familial situation and when it comes to friends, I don't always get the reciprocation I'm hoping for which becomes a deterrent from talking whatsoever. 

Strengths: I have gotten a lot better at clearly communicating my feelings and that just makes connections easier overall. That is something I'm still improving as well. 

Update 2/14: I'm going to keep this goal as well. I have met this goal at least a few times a week but I still feel like I can do better. I decided to participate in the Healthy Hornet challenge and one of the tasks is to refrain from being on your phone. While that is great, I have already developed the habit of putting my phone on the charger across the room and not answering people for hours. I decided to move my charger so I can answer if I need to, but still keep my phone far enough away so that it wont distract me. 

Update 3/23: I still feel like I need to keep this goal because I'm doing a decent job of it but I'm just not quite meeting it. I  might actually lower my family checkup to 4 times a week because my family usually checks on my on their own and I don't want it to be overkill. I have been keeping in touch with my family a lot better now because our grandma lives with us and it requires more communication but I still don't find it necessary to speak every day. 

Update 4/25: I've been keeping in touch with my family more because I've been going home quite a lot. I really miss my family when I'm here at school and I didn't really realize how much I need that recharge. Since I've been going home more, I've been meeting this goal. I want to continue speaking to my family as much as possible and I'm actually going to up my numbers back to what they were in my original goal. I feel like with where I'm at mentally, that check in is necessary for me until I can go back home. What I want to add onto that goal is this summer, I am going to do my absolute best to check up on my Emporia friends at least once a week or every few days and hang out with them at least once a month. ]]> 2022-02-08 03:38:50 UTC https://padlet.com/fwenger1/4t4t7o0bobvckk7y/wish/2034568679 fwenger1 https://padlet.com/fwenger1/4t4t7o0bobvckk7y/wish/2034569817 I will make a conscious effort to try and retain as much information as possible this semester, rather than cramming for tests and forgetting a lot of information in the long run. 

Barriers: I have a hard time managing my retention of material when I have so many different things going on at once. My busy schedule is definitely the main culprit of this problem. 

Strengths: I am starting to take a lot more classes that pertain to my major so I am actually pretty interested, even excited, in a lot of the current and upcoming material. This class, so far, has been great! 

Update 2/14: I think this is going well so far in some of my classes, but as i predicted, the time crunch makes it difficult. I find myself cramming all my work into the time slots I have and not necessarily doing my best work. My new goal is to worry less about retaining the information I'm interested in, as that comes naturally, but try and focus on retaining the more difficult and less interesting concepts that will be helpful to me. 

Update 3/23: My new goal has been going better but I'm only going to make a small change to it because I think it's obtainable for me, but just challenging enough. What I'm going to add is that I want to make a more conscious effort of learning at work. I work with little kids and I definitely know what I'm doing at this point, but I still feel that I've got a lot of growing to do with them and how I manage things. In respects to my previous goal, I feel like I'm doing surprisingly well in my classes for how busy I am. Time management continues to be difficult for me and I realize that I've taken too many credits this semester. I'm not going to give up, it's just unfortunate that hindsight is 20/20. 

Update 4/25: This is actually the goal I feel the best about and it sort of sucks that I'm only going to be working for another 2 weeks because I really don't want to lose the connections I've made with my kids and the knowledge and skills I've gained from working with them. We had an amazing speaker come talk to us in one of my classes not too long ago and I honestly learned more from him than any other speaker I've ever listened to. Implementing his strategies at work has seriously changed things greatly for me at work and made me feel so much stronger in my position and my abilities. As far as retaining information for school goes, it's a struggle. At this point in the semester, I'm just trying to get everything done. I'm going to try harder to focus on my education this summer over topics I'm actually interested in rather than what my gen-eds are focused on. ]]> 2022-02-08 03:39:46 UTC https://padlet.com/fwenger1/4t4t7o0bobvckk7y/wish/2034569817 fwenger1 https://padlet.com/fwenger1/4t4t7o0bobvckk7y/wish/2034571553 I will do a better job of thinking about the things I say before I say them and to do a better job of listening to my inner thoughts. I also want to do a better job of paying attention to my wants and needs so my mood doesn't affect others.

Barriers: I really struggle with speaking my mind and it gets me into a lot of trouble and arguments with friends. 

Strengths: I feel that I'm  a very honest person and a pretty strong communicator in general, which should help me be more mindful of things. 

Update 2/14: I feel that the last couple days have been the best days yet in regards to this goal. However, I think I want to rewrite this goal so that it is more specific and strict. My new goal is to treat others with respect, even when my emotions are overwhelming. I do still like the part of the goal about paying attention to what I say before saying it and am going to keep working on that.

Update 3/23: I think I've done an okay job of following my updated goal but I'm going to rewrite it again because although I said it was specific, I think I need a more specific medium between my original goal and my rewritten goal. Being respectful is the bottom line and that shouldn't just be a goal I give myself, it should be something I do automatically, and I have been. My new goal is to continue to be mindful of my emotions, but also to communicate them to people when they are affecting me and to address problems as soon as possible so they dont build up. I have a hard time concealing my emotions which can be difficult at work, considering I work with little kids, so I will continue to try and work on that as well. 

Update 4/25: This update is the one I had the most to talk about. I have been seriously struggling with being brutally honest for a while, which is why I set the goal that I did. It was to the point that I was hurting peoples feelings on the regular but I was really struggling to stop doing this or understand why I couldn't stop myself from saying things. I think just recently I have identified that this is sort of a defense mechanism that a toxic friend gifted me with. I have since cut that person off and I finally feel like I'm doing better with being honest at appropriate times while still being upfront with people and respecting them. I really want to continue to work through this issue and be more respectful to people. Honesty may be the best policy, but there is a time and place for everything and I do believe it is okay to withhold information in certain circumstances. Sometimes being brutally honestly is just damaging. ]]> 2022-02-08 03:41:06 UTC https://padlet.com/fwenger1/4t4t7o0bobvckk7y/wish/2034571553 fwenger1 https://padlet.com/fwenger1/4t4t7o0bobvckk7y/wish/2034573257 I will sign up for as many "Beyond The Bell" sessions run by the company I work for, as I can possibly afford so that the kids in the program have an extra person taking care of them and the team has an extra set of hands. 

Barriers: Time, again, is the main barrier here. My schedule on Tuesdays and Thursday is very very hectic, and I don't want to bog myself down more than I already do. 

Strengths: I absolutely LOVE my job and would not mind devoting more of my free time to the kids I work with. 

Update: 2/14: Currently I am signed up for one session at the end of this month, but I am not going to change this goal for now because I can't progress any further than I have as it hasn't happened yet and there aren't any more available slots currently. Therefore, in order to work on giving, I'm going to add to this goal. I'm going to do a better job of giving back to my kids at work. I am going to give more of my 1 on 1 time with them and try to do a better job of getting to know them so I can tend to their needs more specifically.

Update 3/23: All of my opportunities to work for Beyond the Bell have gotten canceled because not enough kids have signed up so I think  this goal was a waste, unfortunately. With this being said, I'm going to make a new goal. I want to be more giving in nature and I want to try and do some more random acts of kindness for people and also show my appreciation for people more. I wish I had made a less physical goal the firs time around and approached the subject of "giving" differently. 

Update 4/25: I'm definitely going to keep this goal. I love doing random acts of kindness but I've dropped the ball a little bit lately. I have done a few here and there but I really wish I had done some more. I don't have too much to say for something since not much notable happened, I just think this is a good goal to keep. It's always good to show the love to people who deserve it. ]]> 2022-02-08 03:42:21 UTC https://padlet.com/fwenger1/4t4t7o0bobvckk7y/wish/2034573257 fwenger1 https://padlet.com/fwenger1/4t4t7o0bobvckk7y/wish/2034585844 I scored a 37, which was no surprise considering I've been depression-diagnosed since middle school. That number means that I am below average and it was advised I seek help if I continue to remain below average. ]]> 2022-02-08 03:52:40 UTC https://padlet.com/fwenger1/4t4t7o0bobvckk7y/wish/2034585844 fwenger1 https://padlet.com/fwenger1/4t4t7o0bobvckk7y/wish/2047891849 Update 2/14's question: How does communication, your bottom line, the 7 principles of smart love, your personality, and your conflict management style affect your well-being?

Communication affects my well-being because without good communication, trust issues will develop, at least for me personally. Good communication and my bottom line honestly go hand-in-hand because lying/gaslighting and things like that, that fall under bad communication, are definitely some of my bottom lines. These severely impact the health of my relationships because if I cannot trust someone to be honest and upfront with me, how can I trust them with anything they say? That leads to a lot of uncomfortability in my life. The seven principles of smart love provide some stability. I am not interested in romantic relationships at least right now, but these are good to know for familiar relationships as well as strong friendships, and it is important for these needs to be met with both people, in order for someone's well-being to be positively affected. Your personality and conflict style are similar in that they are sort of just things that come with the package that is who you are. How you deal with certain people, situations, etc. definitely varies depending on a number of factors and like we discovered in class, some personalities unfortunately just do not mix, and this is important to know. It could be exhausting arguing with someone who has a completely different conflict style or personality.

Update 3/23 Question: How do stress and perception of stress affect your well-being?

Stress affects my well-being greatly and daily. I sort of have a problem dealing with stress and what I mean by that is I simply shut down when I am too stressed. It definitely inhibits my productivity. I still am able to get my work done but the time constraints I have currently really take a toll on me. I also tend to have more panic attacks when I'm stressed for an extended period of time. After taking the perception of stress test, however I'm not feeling as stressed as I actually am apparently which is nice to know. I think I'm better at coping with my stress than I was in high school but it definitely still greatly affects my life. 

Update 4/25: How do or will expectations, division of household labor, and costs of raising a child play into your future decisions? How could these future decisions affect your well-being? What can you do to maintain or enhance your well-being after this project is complete?

Expectations are a really complicated subject bc anyone I talk to will have different expectations for me and I'm never going to be able to please everyone. I obviously want to make my parents proud and be a good example for my little brother, but most importantly, I want to be able to live up to my own personal expectations. I currently struggle with this because even though I'm putting more pressure and work on myself than I probably should, I never feel like I'm doing enough and that's just something I'm sort of coping with right now. I'm struggling to find a happy medium and at this current time, I'm sort of just hoping that I get closer to finding that happy medium as time progresses and I near my future career. Therapy is definitely something I see in my near future, on top of that. Division of household labor isn't really a concern of mine to be completely honest. I currently live alone and I plan to keep it that way for a very long time. I don't mind having to do everything it takes to take care of myself and I know that I have people who are willing to help me if I really need it. Cost of raising a child is definitely a concern of mine considering I am going to be working as an educator. I really hope I am able to make enough money to support at least two kids and still be able to provide them with things other than necessities. I definitely want to try and find a job over the summer regardless of if I have kids or not. My main concern is finding time for the kids, rather than money because I'm unsure whether or not I'll ever get married.]]> 2022-02-15 06:24:34 UTC https://padlet.com/fwenger1/4t4t7o0bobvckk7y/wish/2047891849