Juliana M. Google Sites Peer Feedback 2020 - 2021 by Juliana Mazzola https://padlet.com/27jmazzola1/4jwd7xw7x3u930z9 Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2021-01-05 18:56:27 UTC 2026-01-18 06:27:03 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/icons/Apple.png 27mvalera https://padlet.com/27jmazzola1/4jwd7xw7x3u930z9/wish/1067696964 Your writing piece was just so amazing! Something that I really liked about it was that each sentence was incredibly descriptive. When you said, “It was a windy day, my curtains were flowing like a flag in the wind. And the storm outside was furious. My room smelled of pollen that was coming in through the air conditioner behind me. I couldn't hear much, everything around me was muffled,” I felt as if I were in the moment because I could clearly see, hear, and feel everything that you did. I also enjoyed how you included so many specific thoughts that you had during the moment. “You have to do this tomorrow, and this the next day, and why didn’t you do this when you had a chance?” “You are such a failure, you can’t do anything right, you don’t do anything to help, you’re worthless.” These thoughts made feel as if I was you, feeling so upset. One thing that I wish you added was why you were upset with yourself and why you were having such a stressful moment.]]> 2021-01-08 16:30:46 UTC https://padlet.com/27jmazzola1/4jwd7xw7x3u930z9/wish/1067696964 Snapshot 27klee https://padlet.com/27jmazzola1/4jwd7xw7x3u930z9/wish/1067875929 One thing I loved about your snapshot, is how you keep mentioning the rabbit hole, which in the piece represents the thoughts that drag you under. It makes the piece very relatable to me, as the intrusive, worrying thoughts that many of us have do feel like rabbit holes that we fall into and cant climb out of. Another amazing thing about your snapshot is the line “Until suddenly, it all breaks.” In the paragraph before that line, you were trying to stop thinking the negative thoughts, but then after that you aren’t trying, and have given in to them. I think what you were saying is that your resistance and positive thoughts have “broken” and are now vulnerable to the darkness. This to me is the best park of the piece, and makes me want to scream with delight! One thing you could have added is the reason why you were feeling this way and falling into your rabbit hole. However, maybe not adding the reason makes your piece even more relatable to the reader, because they can imagine the way you’re feeling in their own context. That was the only thing that could have been done better because your piece is ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!]]> 2021-01-08 17:07:24 UTC https://padlet.com/27jmazzola1/4jwd7xw7x3u930z9/wish/1067875929 Persuasive essay 27klee https://padlet.com/27jmazzola1/4jwd7xw7x3u930z9/wish/1513906632 Your persuasive essay is amazing! I love how in your anecdotes, you really show the inner thoughts of the students through them, and it overall makes your entire warrants shine! I can put myself into the person’s shoes and really empathize with them. Another great thing about your piece is the very end of your piece in the conclusion paragraph. You wrapped up your persuasive essay, recapping over everything you said in the entire essay. I really liked the zinger sentence, and I honestly can’t think of a better way to end your piece! After searching through the entire essay, I really can’t think of anything that I would or could improve! Amazing job, as always!

]]> 2021-05-11 15:37:37 UTC https://padlet.com/27jmazzola1/4jwd7xw7x3u930z9/wish/1513906632 27mabrams https://padlet.com/27jmazzola1/4jwd7xw7x3u930z9/wish/1614800481 Hii! Before I start I wanted to say that I loved your story! It was super funny, good job!

⭐️ #1
My first star goes to the rule. What I mean is that your rule was very creative and well thought through. It went along with your story very well in my opinion! (P.S. I loved your background!)

⭐️ #2
My second star was the detail in the story, for example you said “Dressed head to toe in black” you could’ve just said “Dressed in black.” I like how you said that you were dressed in all black because if you’d just said you were dressed in black I would’ve thought that you were wearing like one black thing.

Bye!! 
From Maddie 

]]> 2021-06-18 18:29:22 UTC https://padlet.com/27jmazzola1/4jwd7xw7x3u930z9/wish/1614800481 Creative writing piece 27klee https://padlet.com/27jmazzola1/4jwd7xw7x3u930z9/wish/1614800790 Hello again, Jules! One thing I love about your creative writing piece was when you talked about Johnny, who ate cheez-its before dinner. This part of the story is by far my favorite, and I like how you explained how the police caught him. One of my favorite lines from this part was when it said, “The light in his eyes faded and was replaced by the need for more cheez-its.” This makes it very dramatic, and I can almost see it happening in a movie! I also applaud you for giving a question the reader might be asking, and then answering it. For example, you say “What happens when you eat snacks not at that time you ask? Let me tell you. You go berserk.” This makes your piece more interactive and engaging for the readers. One thing I think you could have added, is the list of tips to try and prevent this issue. It would allow for a lot of room for creativity and some pretty funny lines. Besides that, I absolutely loved your piece, and hope you keep up the good work!]]> 2021-06-18 18:29:38 UTC https://padlet.com/27jmazzola1/4jwd7xw7x3u930z9/wish/1614800790