Ella L. Peer Feedback 2022 - 2023 by Ella Longo https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2022-10-21 14:45:12 UTC 2023-03-22 03:12:17 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f4a9.png I liked some of the details that you added like when you said “like an old china doll”. T5hat made me think of what you were felling or what was happening. One other thing i liked was you told everything that happens in with a days. I lasted long and you told what what happens fast. One thing i would work on it not having long lon long run one sentences with unneeded details. In some spots you would make throngs too fast or too slow. 29tmaza https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2355575241 2022-10-25 14:39:04 UTC https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2355575241 Xavier 29xhorn https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2355607949 A truly inspiring masterpiece I had Covid once and this reminded me of the time where I was all alone and my mom and sister had to wear masks around me too so I really liked how you made me feel. I also liked the descriptive words you used telling me exactly how you felt and it was so good. I really have no complaints]]> 2022-10-25 14:56:31 UTC https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2355607949 -Madeleine Rocha 29mrocha https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2355623138 A strength of your memoir is how you gave the readers a very good lesson on how sometimes you have to go through hard things to experience a lesson that could change the way you think forever. It also gives the readers a good valuable lesson to learn.I also love how you used very realistic internal dialogue, like internal dialogue that I or someone would actually think. A suggestion I do have for you though is maybe that you should spread out the metaphors a little more instead of adding a lot of them just in one place. Spreading it out evenly would make the metaphors easier to understand.]]> 2022-10-25 15:04:27 UTC https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2355623138 Charlie Capriglione 29ccapriglione https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2355716661 I really liked all of the strong words and phrases! I can relate to a time when I was sick and it was the worst thing ever. I really liked reading the really long piece of detail and completion. I do also really like all of the figurative language and action words! I do have one suggestion, in the first few sentences try to include what as really happening in the beginning. Other then that, everything is good and I enjoyed reading it!]]> 2022-10-25 15:55:02 UTC https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2355716661 29akravchenko https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2355883258 A strength of your memoir “just keep fighting” is how good your similes are. I like how you used some less common similes. I saw none that I have seen before and normally I see a lot of the same similes. I love how they were so unique, good job. In addition your details were great, I love how you included numbers as well,  and I also live how you described by telling me things like if it's big, small, slow fast. However I feel that you could have gone a bit slower, I sort of felt as if it was going a bit to fast.  Also you forgot to italicize one inner thought but slay girly it was so good.]]> 2022-10-25 17:30:01 UTC https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2355883258 a strength of your memoir was how you told us/the reader what was happening inside of you and how you were feeling in this moment and what it was like. I also liked how you questioned what was happening like when you said is this real? Am I going to die? One more strength of you memoir was you were so descriptive with what you were saying like when you said beep the thermometer went off like the school fire alarm 29abodner https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2355979365 2022-10-25 18:25:54 UTC https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2355979365 Alexa cerchio 29acerchio https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2357796381 I loved your memoir and thought you added a lot of detail and inner thought ]]> 2022-10-26 18:20:33 UTC https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2357796381 Liana Benoit 29lbenoit https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2403885721 I like how you started off. It was a strong hook and I like how I put lots of detail into the beginning of the story to get the reader interested in the story. I also gave a hint of what is going to happen in the story.I like how you put a ;to of detail in to the part when she was getting ready for school.you put lots of detail in to how her room looked like in the start of the story with e her messy hair and her room with everything that was there the night before to when she wakes up.I wish you put more detail in to the end of your story but overall it was a good story.


]]> 2022-11-30 16:57:59 UTC https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2403885721 Star one! One thing i liked was you put a lot of detail in like when your character was falling and the nose bleed and you described that and when your character had a verbal fight against the teacher you added the background noise. Star two i liked how you added dialogue like when again your character had a discussion about the test and her high expectations and i like how you added small details like her hair being messy. One wish is you talked a little more about the hurricane you know i feel that is importance of the story https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2404233727 2022-11-30 21:21:41 UTC https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2404233727 One thing that I liked was that you added Things that could happen like dying any second or getting your diploma any second too.I like how you listed things that could just happen. Another star could be that I like the small details. Overall I think yours was an ok story. One thing you could work on is not adding as much dialog and not stretching things out to the point that is not needed. https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2405335058 2022-12-01 15:40:18 UTC https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2405335058 Bella Giannacio 29igiannacio https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2486664214 Hi Cheese! I strength of your essay “Homework vs. Kids”  was your strong choice of words. For example, in your introduction paragraph you said, “imagine a young, tired child with piles of homework loaded from their remorseless teacher.” Remorseless is a big word and very detailed. In addition, I loved your detailed claims! I can really understand what you're explaining to me, the reader. They have great wording to them that makes the whole paragraph very convincing. However, a suggestion for the future I would offer you is to expand your explanation. The explanation is one of the most important parts of the essay. Without it, it makes the whole piece bland. Another reason it’s important is because you need to explain what your evidence means.]]> 2023-02-17 18:33:19 UTC https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2486664214 Taylor mAzA https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2489893756 Hi ella! One thing that I liked was your introduction. You said “Just hearing the other children play outside in the nice warm sun, makes the child’s eyes sweep up with tears. They cry in desperate need of a break.”I thought the description of it was really nice. One other star that I had was “Just hearing the other children play outside in the nice warm sun, makes the child’s eyes sweep up with tears. They cry in desperate need of a break.”  I also thought that this sentence had very good detail and really showed how a kid feels. One wish that I have for you is to not repeat things as much. 


]]> 2023-02-21 15:41:43 UTC https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2489893756 Kayla P 29kpadillacarvajal https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2526468481 Hi Ellita! A strength of your analysis paragraph, “To Get Over A Fear, You Have One” is that some parts are good. In particular, you tried to be specific and try your best on it. I loved how you wanted to tell the reader how important it was to overcome our fears. In addition I also loved how you wanted to tell the reader how important it is to respect ourselves from any fears in our life. Overall, I definitely loved your analysis paragraph!]]> 2023-03-22 03:12:17 UTC https://padlet.com/29elongo/4j2fbnxc0zsif1or/wish/2526468481