See, I’m not really too sure how it happened. Okay, I know exactly how it happened, I tripped over my cat and choked on a spoonful of frosting. But it’s not something I like to admit. Now I’m stuck in this half-broken-down mobile home with no freedom until someone grants it to me. I envy the people who died in a fancy hospital, or a mansion, or outside, cause they’re stuck- but at least they’re stuck somewhere interesting! Imagine dying on the sidewalk of New York City. Now you’re a ghost, oh sadness, boo hoo- but you can go see a Broadway musical for free! Or hey, hop on a boat and go to Japan or France! No need to worry about closed borders, because you’re a ghost- those rules don’t apply to you!

Now, you may be wondering- how exactly does this work? I’m stuck to my house because that’s where I died. It’s a common misconception that ghosts are attached to their bodies or whatever- but no, go figure, we have to live in the place we died. 

For me, that’s a mobile home in the middle of nowhere. I have one neighbor, and he lives two miles away. My cat ran off as soon as he figured out I was dead- I can’t believe my own son abandoned me like that- and all my friends are an hour or more away. 

Once it was discovered I was dead, I guess my body had decomposed to the point of causing revulsion, so the construction crew planned to just… destroy my house. Which they never did. Fast forward ten years, it’s my 34th birthday and I have no company, save for the spiders making home in my cabinets full of expired chips.

As a ghost, I don’t have a fully solid form- I’m kinda like a cloud of dust that can make various illusions and forms if I focus hard enough. I made hands once and played Skyrim after discovering I had all the time in eternity- but the construction workers took my game system, so I don’t even have that now. Go figure. 

So for ten years, I, Regina Closke, have been lying bored on my bed with nothing but cockroaches and rats to keep me company. 

Until one night, an unexpected figure knocked on my door- and they could see me. 

It was raining. The rain hit the windows hard, and for the first time I wondered if the wind would actually tear my walls down. I invented a new game called Cockroach Trap and was happily making walls to watch them skitter around- and then I heard a knock. 

What? No one comes out here anymore. Maybe it’s the construction crew trying to make sure there are no squatters before they finally knock this place down. I went and opened the door- and this guy was obviously a vampire. 

I don’t know who he thought he was fooling with his overcoat and invisalign, but his face was ridiculously pale and even with the plastic covering his teeth, those were some massive canines. Oh and the red pupils. Can’t forget those. I stood there and waited for him to leave, assuming he couldn’t see me. Instead, he seemed to be making eye contact. He cocked his head in confusion. 

“... Hello? Earth to stranger!” He muttered, waving a long-nailed hand in front of where my face would be. 

“You… Can you see me?” I quizzed. He rolled his eyes.

“Look, lady, it’s very cold and wet out here. I just wanna take some shelter from the storm. Just a few minutes. Please?” 

I gaped. This guy thought I was a human. He was probably planning on eating me. I should just shut the door in his face and…

I hesitated. Ten years with no entertainment. No books, no movies- I would eat beluga caviar for a garbage remake or Netflix series just to have a reason to laugh. I could have some fun with this… 

“Do you have a phone?” I demanded. “And a charger?”

He looked at me in confusion again. “Yes…?”

I smirked. “Come in then- wipe your feet.”

He grinned wickedly. I knew it. “You’re very kind, mortal… Perhaps too kind for your own good.” 

I chuckled. “We’ll see about that.”