Sound: From day to day, the most profound noise surrounding this bay are blaring sirens in the distance. It is an unspoken rule that ambulances will not run their sirens immediately next to the bay, which is highly beneficial for someone like me who has already suffered minor hearing loss due to the occupation. Occasionally, I’ll hear a patients screaming at my colleagues or simply out of pain. I occasionally will see and hear the helicopter land and take off; the patients who occupying this helicopter are in very poor health.

Smell: You might expect the ambulance bay a trauma hospital to have an overwhelming smell of blood and other bodily fluids. Strangely, this is not the case. There are two to three smells I notice every day: the odors of diesel, gasoline, and latex. Often I wonder about the long term health effects of such profound exposure.

Taste: One part of working in this field is finding anything you can to keep you up at late hours of the night, or just on a long shift. I taste the Zyn I have on my gum line, effectively keeping me up when I’m feeling tired. I think that nicotine addiction is a problem in EMS, whether that be cigarettes, vapes, dip, or Zyn. Outside of other hospitals, medical personnel can be smoking, though Lahey seems not to allow this.

Touch: I feel the cold metal handlebars of the ambulance doors pressing on my hands covered in latex gloves, which have filled with sweat since the AC was broken in the last ambulance I rode with. I used to sweat from anxiety on particularly acute calls, though in the hot days of recent, it’s hard to tell.

Something I’ve noticed today is that we need to treat each other better in this community. Not only is there hazing of new hires, but I’ve seen experienced providers be picked on by others.

I agree with my assessment of addiction and mental health from earlier, and think that a potentially toxic work environment only adds to that problem.

Further, obesity in EMS is not something I have discussed in full. The notion of a provider at an unhealthy weight creates a similar dichotomy to the one smoking cigarettes or having an addiction issue.

In summation, I think of EMS in the context of an airplane: Do not apply the oxygen mask to someone else before you have secured it on yourself. We cannot best help others if we have not helped ourselves.

As I have discussed, addiction is prominent among EMS workers. I can attribute this to the hours, the traumatic experiences, or generally the culture. I have many friends and colleagues battling alcoholism, and that in itself pains me.

Further, I think that childhood trauma can predispose people to working in this field. For some, they may want to relive and change a similar situation to what they had experienced. Others may run head first into such a profoundly emotional job as a distraction.