June 26th @ 6pm: Flagstaff Shabbat Service followed by falafel dinner. (Please RSVP)

June 27th @ 8:30am: Optional pre-service walk led by Rabbi.

June 27th @ 9:15am: Wiley Bar Mitzvah followed by granola brunch and games. (Please RSVP)

July 27th @ 6:30pm-11pm: Cocktails and Vietnamese hors d'oeuvres at our house. (Please RSVP)

July 28th @ 9am-Whenever: Bagels and Lox at our house. (Please RSVP)

As the Talking Heads lyric goes, “there is a party in my mind, and I hope it never stops /  There’s a party up there all the time, and they’ll party until they drop.”  Wiley Feiger – just like the movie Inside Out -- there is definitely a party in your mind!

As a dad, I love peering in from the fan-line queued outside.  You amaze me.

I so appreciate your recognition of the moment.  Stopping me on a hike to remind me to listen to the chattering creek, to pause and breathe in the sharpness of the sun, or simply to take a moment and notice the infinite variety of birdsong.

I so appreciate your independence.  Whether it is your impeccable navigation skills, your hunger to climb 14,000 foot peaks, or your immeasurable loyalty to your friends.

I so appreciate your curiosity.  WW2, Geography, Budgeting, Empire building, Jon Oliver, Infographics, RTD route planning, game-design, or our nightly conversations to process whatever happens to be on your mind at the time.

 I so appreciate your resilience.  We’ve been through a lot together.  More than you remember and more than I want to talk about here, but you have always found unpredictable solutions and you have amazed me. 

Steven Hawking says to, “Look up at the stars and not down at your feet.  Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes the universe exist.  Be curious.” 

Keep looking at the stars Wiley.  I love being your dad.  I hope that this process of becoming a Bar Mitzvah has helped you realize the power of your voice.  As you enter your teenage years, keep speaking out.  There are causes that need your attention and the world needs your voice. Own that microphone.  But make sure to listen too – there is much to hear in the world.  I can’t wait to see you make sense of it all.

I love you so much.  Congratulations.

Dear Wiley,

I am very, very proud of you.  Today is a celebration of your accomplishments thus far and of the potential of who you will become.  I felt so strongly the need to celebrate your accomplishments, Wiley, because there were a few years where I wasn’t sure you could have done this....to read in English, not to mention chant in Hebrew, to engage with your surroundings, not to mention making genuine friendships and questioning your teachers.  And when I realized your potential, I expected even more of you—and you stepped up.  Do an extra torah verse!  Write a thought provoking analysis!  Participate with your cohort! So thank you for putting up with me. And exceeding my expectations. 

But you have done this in your own way, as you always do.  Since babyhood, you never “read the guidebook” and you showed me a different lens to see the world.  I love how you use geography and to understand the politics of Israel.  I love how you use economics to place value...and how you question paying money to institutions, even when it is to join a Jewish congregation.  I love how you approach dilemmas categorically.  My favorite was your final 4 bracket of the things you hate...and graffiti was the winner over Cotillion!  You respect for nature and you are the most conscientious trash picker-upper I know!

When we started preparing for your bar mitzvah, you sang as sweetly as an altar boy with your perfect pitch, and now your voice is croaking and you are taller than me (when I am not wearing heels).  With your love of board games, you created one to learn your Hebrew prayers.  Thanks to you, Felix has a head start on his bar mitzvah!  In anticipation of your bar mitzvah and your Jewish education, Daddy and I kept searching until we found a Jewish community that embraces our shared value of nature as our spirituality—with a New York element. 

I hope you will grow up proud of and comfortable with your Jewish heritage. You now know the vocabulary to participate in Jewish culture if you wish.  I also hope that you understand with Judaism comes a strong sense of family.  Your family is a twisted vine.  Just figuring out how you are related to someone is a challenge!  With 4 sets of grandparents, and kin spanning from coast to coast, from Canada to Guatemala, and includes Catholics, Protestants, agnostics and communists, gay and straight, crazy and sane.  You have endeared yourself to your relatives.  They have been rooting for you, even when you are not aware of it.   One day, when you are a twenty-something, I want you to go to a new place and feel that you could look up a distant cousin or meet up a group of Jews to go on a wandering hike through the desert.  And I hope that you will always come home for Passover seder.