Turning deficits into assets! Rigid inflexibility expressed as commitment and dedication!

Many "differences" for which we often call deficits, can be true benefits. Many people on the spectrum tend to have "all or nothing" thinking, for which is often labeled as rigid, inflexible thinking. This is often thought of in negative terms because it leads to difficulty in times when flexible thinking is required. Whereas things are viewed very "black and white," "either/or" or "right or wrong," this type of thinking can also be an asset. When the person on the spectrum likes something or is committed to something, he will go all out for it.   He will commit full-heartedly to whatever his passion or endeavor seems to be. Therefore, he can excel in a preferred vocational interest or favorite topic, be very disciplined in practicing, and persevere in the face of adversity. This "all or nothing" thinking can be very favorable when funneled in the right way.   With the hyper-focused attention, a strong passion for detail, and drive for perfection, our technology, personal lifestyles, and economy has benefited well from this type of thinking.   Why change it, develop it!!

The same is true for friendships. Even though relating can be difficult for them, most people on the spectrum, once they befriend you, will be one of the most dedicated friends you will ever have. They will support you, help you out, and stand by you when things are not going well. If they are going to be your friend, they will be a "good" friend. If they like something, they "really" like something. They don't go halfway.

Most of the so-called "deficits" in autism are simply "differences." For many traits, we can either view them in a negative light (since they are not like ours), or we can view them in a positive light (strengths that we do not have).  Why not redefine them and develop them into strengths.  They grow stronger, and we grow wiser!  A win-win proposition! 

Dr. Ross Greene, author of “The Explosive Child,” goes into detail about how to use his “collaborative problem solving” approach for parenting children with rigid/inflexible children.   In this book, he states that it is not just the rigid and inflexible child that causes the most problems, but when the rigid/inflexible child meets a rigid/inflexible adult that presents the most significant difficulties.  

Ross Greene takes the stance that “children do the best that they can, given the situation they are in, and their current skills for dealing with it (paraphrased).”  This presumes that if a child is acting out, then there is a good chance that he does not have the skills needed for dealing with the situation that we put him in.   Due to sensory, cognitive, social, and emotional issues, the expectations are usually more significant than the child’s abilities to deal handle them.  In these situations, the adult needs to first look at changing the demands/expectations to better match the child’s abilities, provide added assistance to support the child through the situation, and eventually teach better skills for dealing with the expectations.   This assumption usually means that the responsibility for change starts with the adult first, before expecting the child to change.  This is hard for many of us to accept.  Since the child is acting out, we instinctively tend to place the blame on the child and expect him to conform.  

When the child is acting out, we often demand him to stop and then get frustrated when he doesn’t cooperate.  Often he simply cannot stop on command.  This leads us to get more upset, frustrated, and punitive.  We often say and do things we wish we didn’t.  We may pressure, demand, and try to force the child to comply, without first looking at what we need to change.   This often occurs because the adults do not understand all the processing problems the child has, plus the adult may not know how to support the child.  

The more rigid and inflexible the child is, the more patient, understanding, and compassionate the adult has to be.  Easier said than done; I have been here many times myself.  We need first to listen and understand before demanding the child to change.  We need to first look at what is going wrong in this situation, and what changes we need to make in the conditions presenting the behavior.  Does the child have the sensory, cognitive, social, emotional, and behavioral tools to meet our expectations?   What changes do I need to make, extra assistance I could give, or maybe just validate the child’s feelings of uncertainty, fear, and frustration before supporting them.   This does not mean that we have to “give in” to the child, and let them always have their way.  It just means we have to understand and validate while providing the guidance needed.  

So remember, when the heat is on, try to remain calm, understand and validate first, and then move on to trying to support the child.   After the storm is over, and everyone is calm, try and analyze the situation to identify what we may be able to change in our expectations to better match the child’s abilities, and/or what assistance can we provide in helping him to be more successful in meeting the expectations.   Take a deep breath, try not to react out of frustration, and be willing to change first before asking the child to change.  You will have fewer battles and more successes.

This series on “Rigid/inflexible Thinking” can be found in the blue book, “Autism Discussion Page on the Core Challenges of Autism.”

One of the hallmarks of autism is that the characteristics vary significantly among different autistic children and adults. No two autistic people are the same. In addition, different autistic individuals will need support to greater or lesser degrees across a wide range of contexts. Autism is found in all cultures, genders, and socio-economic groups

Some epidemiologists point to a broader definition of autism and an increasing awareness among medical professionals as the key contributing factors to the increase. As more research is funded and completed, this question may soon be answered.

In the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th Edition (DSM-IV), autism spectrum disorders were categorized by separate disorders, including:

Traits were organized into three core domains:

 

In 2013, the APA combined the four diagnoses under the broad term Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Under the DSM-5, people diagnosed with autism are now evaluated based on their traits and the severity in which they exhibit them under two domains:

Traits in both domains must be present in order for people to receive the autism diagnosis. Those who have difficulty communicating or interacting socially but do not exhibit RRBs are diagnosed with social communication disorder, not autism.

Autistic people vary significantly from one another. Their levels of independence and need for support can be further clarified with a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder – Level 1, Level 2, or Level 3:

Level 1 – Requiring support
Level 2 – Requiring substantial support
Level 3 – Requiring very substantial support

Overall, the changes from DSM-IV to DSM-5 are aimed to better inform clinicians to consistently and more accurately diagnose their patients. In theory, the specified “levels” allow practitioners to have some sense of the amount of supports needed.