https://padlet.com/aburdine3/43djs5guubrd6p6l Abigayle Freeland en-us 2022-10-01 14:34:43 UTC 2022-10-01 23:47:16 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f3c0.png aburdine3 https://padlet.com/aburdine3/43djs5guubrd6p6l/wish/2322061450 The first stage in development where an infant, is able to recognize if their able to rely on someone. 
From early on this is where my husband would learn if he could rely on his parents to care for him. He learned he couldn't. My husband would sneak out every morning in his diaper, and walk four houses down to an old lady. She would feed him breakfast every morning, and then take him back home.
As our book says, "mistrust, which enables them to protect themselves" is exactly what my husband chose to do with his parents. (pg 130)]]> 2022-10-01 14:52:07 UTC https://padlet.com/aburdine3/43djs5guubrd6p6l/wish/2322061450 aburdine3 https://padlet.com/aburdine3/43djs5guubrd6p6l/wish/2322078672 From about 18 months to 3 years, an infant to toddler begins to gain their own freedom. They voice their wants, but also need parents to help guide them with their own decision making in a healthy way, so the child doesn't live their life in shame and doubt.
My husband was three years old and was hungry after his parents were still asleep come 3pm. He turned the oven on and through the pizza box and all into the oven, and almost burned the house down. He was unable to learn what was and wasn't okay in this new freedom due to his parents not caring about his well being, so he developed the side of shame and guilt rather than autonomy.
"unlimited freedom is neither safe nor healthy" (pg 157)

]]> 2022-10-01 15:18:39 UTC https://padlet.com/aburdine3/43djs5guubrd6p6l/wish/2322078672 aburdine3 https://padlet.com/aburdine3/43djs5guubrd6p6l/wish/2322087766 When a child becomes of preschool age, they want to do more and more for themselves. They are now able to do more and have taken a big step towards being independent. They learn what is and isn't socially appropriate. How the parents treat them in this step is what makes them either have a desire to chase their dreams or have the voice in the back of their head saying it's wrong or selfish.
My husband went to be raised by his grandma to hope for a better life. However, one day he was play wrestling with his older brother and younger brother. His grandma was supposed to be at work, but staked out in the laundry room all day waiting for them to mess up. The second they started to wrestle she came out of the laundry room and screamed at them. Instead of my husband getting to play wrestle, like most siblings, he was made to feel awful and put into a submissive position that told him this was bad. "The courage to envision and pursue goals without being unduly inhibited by guilt or fear of punishment.' was robbed of my husband and reminded him he was not able to chase a dream of being a professional wrestler. (pg 174)

]]> 2022-10-01 15:32:27 UTC https://padlet.com/aburdine3/43djs5guubrd6p6l/wish/2322087766 aburdine3 https://padlet.com/aburdine3/43djs5guubrd6p6l/wish/2322146000 At the stage, children are learning how their self-esteem will be throughout life. Will they be confident in themselves and what they can do, or will they live in doubt and wonder why they aren't enough during their life. When my husband was in school, his grandma would preach the importance of school. He was nearly a straight A student, but one time he came home with a C on his report card. She treated him like he was an idiot and wouldn't be able to do anything in life. Then when he would come home with 100% papers she would throw them in the trash and say they weren't worth being on the fridge.  At a very young age my husband had already learned he couldn't trust others or even himself, but now his grandma drilled into him why he wasn't enough.
"If children are unable to obtain the praise of others or lack motivation and self-esteem, they may develop a feeling of low self-worth and thus develop a sense of inferiority." (pg 220)]]> 2022-10-01 17:03:05 UTC https://padlet.com/aburdine3/43djs5guubrd6p6l/wish/2322146000 aburdine3 https://padlet.com/aburdine3/43djs5guubrd6p6l/wish/2322159422 In adolescence people begin to wonder where they fit in in the world. What job do they want to have? What values will they live by? What is their sexual identity? All of this is to help a young adult figure out who they truly are. If they are unable to be happy with themselves and fall into cliques or isn't accepting to others who are different, then they begin to fall into role confusion. 
At this stage my husband was put into the role of "caregiver". As soon as he turned 16, he began working. Once receiving his CNA he went to work full time at 17, while still being in school. He helped pay the bills, bought the groceries, and anything else that was asked of him. When he turned 18, he signed up for credit cards, because his grandma said she needed the money to provide for them. She maxed them out and promised to pay them. She never did this and left my husband with destroyed credit leaving him with the inability to move out. Therefore keeping him in this caregiver role and unable to be anything more.
"seeks to develop a coherent sense of self, including the role she or he is to play in society" (pg 264)]]> 2022-10-01 17:25:52 UTC https://padlet.com/aburdine3/43djs5guubrd6p6l/wish/2322159422 aburdine3 https://padlet.com/aburdine3/43djs5guubrd6p6l/wish/2322178587 At this stage people are looking to make long-term commitments with those that aren't in their family. This will lead to a romantic relationship, and if people are resistant or find themselves unable to have this they will end up socially isolated.
Originally my husband only wanted to live alone and never have kids, just a lot of money and nice things. My husbands earliest memory of wanting more as far as being vulnerable and wanting a relationship was my devotion to work and being able to do school and extra curriculars. It made him feel safe and like there could be more, since he felt that was a connection most didn't have, that teamwork aspect. ]]> 2022-10-01 18:00:24 UTC https://padlet.com/aburdine3/43djs5guubrd6p6l/wish/2322178587 aburdine3 https://padlet.com/aburdine3/43djs5guubrd6p6l/wish/2322236031 In this stage people begin to see how they contribute to the bigger picture. How they make an impact on the world. Whether it is their job or parenting or something else. Those that do not make an impact in the world find themselves  disconnected from society, like they don't have a purpose. For this stage my husband says that he is actively preventing trauma to our three children. He wants them to be happy and free to explore the world in a way that is impossible for him to do due to his upbringing.]]> 2022-10-01 19:58:27 UTC https://padlet.com/aburdine3/43djs5guubrd6p6l/wish/2322236031 aburdine3 https://padlet.com/aburdine3/43djs5guubrd6p6l/wish/2322242507 This stage starts around 65 years old. Around this age people will start to look back their life. Can they look back and think I lived a good life and be proud of the life they had, and what they accomplished in their life. If they do not feel like they lived a successful life, they will look back and feel despair. They'll think of what they could have done to change their life to one they would have been proud of. My husband says he hopes that comes this age he is able to look back on his life fondly. To know he became a good person and was a good father. There will always be a part of despair due to the trauma of growing up, but he hopes that what he's accomplished since we moved in together years ago that he is happy with his life.]]> 2022-10-01 20:13:08 UTC https://padlet.com/aburdine3/43djs5guubrd6p6l/wish/2322242507