awoken to blue light 

I sit and watch 

five minutes to forever 

 

Lose sleep 

Repeat 

 

Hundred thousand watching 

Our thoughts flooded 

creativity and theories spread like wildfire 

Miss one, cry about it 

I cannot decide what is the best  

The ray of the sun beams down on me as I sit outside

Those cold nights with the snowstorm,  

They both feel so nice, yet both so overwhelming.

The smokey winters meet at such a point of no return —

due to the sunny summers beaming ray of light,

Piercing its soft gentle skin yet so cold.

 

Those sunny summers remind me of how I am do.

I let no such thing get through or 

Allow others in unless you match the heat within.

Then some days I even feel cold,

as if I sat is the soft snow outside.

 

When I am like this, I don’t care for much, only me and my family

...the people I have been trapped with yet not at the same time.

 

Like a dog stuck in cage but the cage door is cracked open,

But if he come out you could go back with something that can be only described as

A constant aching “something” that attacks and shuts down what it wants

With no repercussions and you know this “something” has no race nor gender —

This is a “something” caused by all of us.

 

Like a horse in the field finding its way to the food 

It oh so desires and maybe we are the food,

This unthinkable “something” not only desires but depends on us to keep Its existence a reality.  

 

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk and listening with open ears and arms. 

Your life was a blessing  

Your memories are treasured  

I wish so much I wouldn’t cry  

The way I did that day  

To lose someone is to lose myself  

Even though you're gone you’ll stay within my heart as my guiding angel  

My happiness  

My reason to live  

 

The pain of missing you  

Then at that hospital when I heard your small breaths, took my breath  

away, and it hurt because I knew that’s the last one you have. 

  

Now my mind is torturing me with unnecessary thoughts and how I saw you 

In that casket my first time seeing someone I love perish, right before my eyes 

I couldn’t live seeing your pale face, As the light above hovered over you exposing how beautiful you were, now when someone asks if I’m fine I say 
I’m OK 

There are people in Times Square who dress up as movie characters. They always ask for a photo. No one but the tourists take photos. There’s no emotion behind the people in costumes’ eyes. 

 

The water here is different. No one really says anything about it, but it is. Always has been. 

 

The woman waves a clipboard and offers you a discount ticket. You do not ever take the ticket. Why? You just don’t. You never take the handouts. 

 

The subway map is ingrained in your brain. There’s always someone who has the same sob story asking for money. You do not know whether he needs the money for his sick daughter of for drugs. You do not give him your change, no matter how much you want to. 

 

Everyone here hates the mayor. What did he do? The old Italian man down the street knows, but never says anything. Everyone here hates the mayor. 

 

The brownstone you thought was a nice house is for rent. How much? How many non-vital organs are you willing to sell to pay for one month’s rent? 

 

What was that I saw a flash of in the subway car window? Must have been nothing. 

 

Wednesday is matinee day. The subway is packed on Wednesday. The subway is always packed. No one except the stupid tourist stays in an empty subway car.

 

 The subway is screeching. It's always screeching. It's almost as loud as rush hour. Somehow, it's always rush hour when you need to go somewhere. The inside of the subway car is quiet. No one acknowledges it, except the tourists.