P: Firstly, fame could be short-lived as there are countless of accounts posting similar content. The platform is oversaturated and if someone wants to be famous for a long period of time and gain a following, it is extremely hard as their video is a dime of a dozen. Majority of the time, those who go viral did so by sheer luck. For example, when I was younger I wanted to be famous and I created cooking videos on Tiktok. Then I had my first a big breakthrough where i garnered 15 thousand views on the platform. However, subsequent videos garnered no less than 500 views and my content creating era came to a close.

P: Secondly, I think that Tiktok is not an ideal platform for those looking for fame as you have to be consistent in uploading videos regularly, keep up with the trends and popular niches to have a chance at being famous.For example, I have seen online many of my friends who dabbled in being a Tiktok influencer are often drained after a couple of months as they put their blood, sweat and tears into producing pumping out content that fits the trends. This can be tiring and it could lead to burnout for people who just started out and are not ready for the demand that Tiktok content creation has. Especially so if those looking for fame and popularity want to do so for superficial reasons.

Alternative POV missing? Incomplete. 6/10 marks for Content

P(Agree): One prime REASON example is because of culture of comparison.

E: youths today compare themselves to the unrealistic standards on social media download various apps such as tiktok, snapchat, Instagram, etc. to fit into society and to not feel left out.

E: For example, i was peer pressured by my sister along with a few friends to download snapchat do to something called streaks. its where you and another person send pictures to each other everyday. This culture of comparison can lead to a cycle of seeking validation, as likes and comments become a metric for self-worth.

P(Agree): Secondly, young people may be affected by fomo( fear of missing out) syndrome due to immense pressure to be included. For instance, when one is surrounded by their friends chatting the lasted music trends or challenges, they are pressured to know and understand the topic. If not, they could be excluded and shunt by the rest of the groups. Despite comprising their own values and preferences, they will rather be self-consciousness about it.

P(Disagree): However some may argue that not all youths care too much about what others think. Some of them are confident and don’t bother about what people say. For example, young people who don't use social media and wears whatever they likes, even if it’s not trendy. They just focuses on their hobbies and studies, and they're happy with that. There are many youths like them who choose to be themselves and don’t follow what others are doing. This shows that not every young person is affected by peer pressure or needs to fit in to feel good. Nevertheless, some will even judge people who doesn't use social media, which may trigger them to be less adamant to be open up to others. In conclusion, while some youths remain true to themselves, many still struggle with peer pressure and the need for validation. It’s important to promote self-confidence and acceptance to help them navigate these challenges.

12/15marks

P(Agree): Firstly, young people care too much about what their peers think about their appearance. E: This is because social-media apps like Tiktok often pushes more attractive and idealistic contents and people to the recommended page. E: These contents are heavily curated. Thus, causing youth to have a distorted sense of perception on their own attractiveness due to them comparing themselves with an unrealistic standard. E: Youths will also start to perpetuate this unrealistic standard in others. This is harmful because it can cause youths to have a lower self-esteem and less confidence in themselves.

P (Agree): Secondly, young people care too much about how well they’re doing in school compared to their peers. This is because of curated content on social media like Tiktok showing students who would study for hours on end. This perpetuates an unrealistic standard for other youths who see these contents and think that they are not doing enough and that they are not as smart as their peers. I have observed in school that many students would compare their results with each other. This is harmful because it can cause youths to not be so confident in themselves, and set an unrealistic expectation for themselves. They can overwork themselves and get burnt out, or they may not and think that they are not doing enough. --> too similar to the previous paragraph

However, many others would think that comparing can be healthy --> Qn is NOT about whether comparing with others is GOOD or BAD. It is about whether teenagers care or don't care about how people view them. The points you have here would be good for the conclusion part. for bettering yourself and may not necessarily be toxic. For instance, observing the achievements of others can inspire individuals to set higher goals or develop new skills. When approached with the right mindset, comparison doesn't have to lead to envy or insecurity. Instead, it can serve as motivation, helping people reflect on their own progress and identify areas for growth. It encourages healthy competition and personal development rather than resentment.Therefore, when used constructively, comparison can play a positive role in bettering oneself rather than being inherently harmful. Although this may be true, I still feel that comparing with others is harmful as it may have a negative effect on youths’ mental health if they become demoralised.

In conclusion, I still feel that youths today care too much about what their peers think of them. I understand that youths are just trying to find recognition in this society, but they should still not try to  change their appearances. They should instead learn to love themselves for who they are, no matter the opinion of others. Good conclusion but body paragraphs are off topic. 8/15 marks

E: In school, for example, joining a new CCAs (co-curricular activities) or presenting in class can be daunting at first. When our classmates encourage us, we feel more motivated and less anxious.

E: This shows that peer opinion isn’t entirely negative; it fulfils fills up our needs for developing self-esteem and teaches us to work together as a team. THIS IS ALREADY MENTIONED IN THE 2nd P(Agree) paragraph!

P(Agree): Firstly, Yes, i agree today youths care too much about how their peers think of them because of social media.

E: With likes, follows, comments as public social metrics, youths are easier to assume obsessed ???what they are perceived.

E: Whatever you post, where you are, means everything is visible. when the youths did do not receive enough positive feedbacks, they thought they're be judged negatively, even it's not in case.

E: For example, in a school group chat, students often discuss everything from homework to parties. If one student posts a funny meme or shares something that gets lots of responses, they might feel more popular or “liked” by their peers. On the other hand, if a student shares something and no one responds or comments, they might feel ignored or rejected. The group chat acts as a microcosm of social media, where likes, replies, and reactions influence how students feel about their social standing.

P(Agree) Another reason Youths often care deeply about their peers’ opinions because adolescence is a key stage in developing identity and self-esteem.

E: During this time, individuals are trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in the world.

E: Peers provide immediate feedback, validation, and a sense of belonging—things that are especially important when a person's sense of self is still forming.

E: Being accepted by peers can feel like a measure of personal worth, so their opinions can have a strong emotional impact. This social sensitivity is a natural part of growing up, even though it can sometimes lead to pressure to conform.

INCOMPLETE! Missing P(Disagree and conclusion!)

In todays contemporary society, the assertion that youths are overly concerned with peer judgement is frequently discussed. Personally, I believe that youths have always been sensitive to peer judgement, influenced by their biological development paired with the various societal and technological factors in the 21st century.

Firstly, adolescence plays a vital role in shaping the way youths today are overly concerned about peer judgement. Adolescence is a critical period for identity formation, and peer relationships play a key role in this process. For instance, I read an article talking about a psychological concept called 'adolescent egocentrism', where teenagers believe that those around them, mainly peers, are more focused on them as they are on themselves. I fully agree with this theory: most of the time, I feel that the smallest traits about me, like the way I talk, or even the my own interests are constantly judged by my classmates or even close friends. The feeling of as though being under scrutiny or being misunderstood may lead to excessive self-consciousness, or a distorted perception of oneself. I believe this certain phase is a joint experience amongst youths, therefore reflecting on how todays youths care too much about peer judgement.

Secondly, the advent of social media also plays a vital role in shaping the way youths today are overly concerned about peer judgement. Platforms like Instagram, Tiktok, and Snapchat provide constant exposure to peer activities and lifestyles - most appearing picturesque or ideal. This environment may foster the constant need for social comparison, where youths are desperate to measure their worth against the curated portrayals of other peoples lifestyles and activities. Unfortunately for me, I was once, and still am a 'victim' of this cycle of comparing myself to my other well-off peers who lead prosperous lifestyles, such as prioritizing the outlook of my online persona in hopes for peer validation. Thus, this is a clear indication on how todays youths care too much about peer judgement.

However, others may argue otherwise. Contrary to the perceived notion that all youths today are overly concerned with peer judgement, there still exists youths that exhibit a strong sense of self-confidence. These youths, amidst the concept of 'peer-pressure', adolescence, and mental effects of social media, tend to prioritize their personal values and belief. Take, for instance, most teenagers reject behaviors such as participating in illicit activities, even when faced with peer pressure. This is a clear demonstration of a well-developed sense of self autonomy through being discerning and perceptive, rather than following the crowd. Thus, youths who do not succumb to peer influence due to being morally inclined contradict the idea that youths day care too much about peer judgement.

In conclusion, factors such as social media and adolescence play key roles affect in intensifying the need of youths for peer validation. 13/15m

P(Agree): Firstly, Tiktok is arguably the most used platform on the internet.

E: It is able to reach a wide range of audiences ranging from the young to old, from diverse backgrounds and different nationalities.

E: For example, According to google, it is the most downloaded app as of until 2024 is tik tok with 773 million downloads.

E: With its ability to gather so many users, people that seek fame and recognition would have a easier time to gain recognition and expand their market, assisting them to sell their products more efficiently, eventually, also moving their businesses globally, transcending their geographical boundaries.

P(Agree): Secondly, Tiktok is made up of short and eye-catching reels that can hook in viewers.

E: With its short and sweet duration, viewers that have short-attention span will be able to watch it fully without getting bored and skipping right through it.

E: For example, the videos on tiktokrange from 10 seconds to 30 seconds, the videos can even reach to a minimum of 1 sec or a maximum of 30 minutes.

E: Creators can gain views and likes from their short videos, gaining thousands of views and likes quickly, helping creators’ videos gain fame and recognition rapidly.

P(Disagree): However, others may argue that tik tok is not an ideal platform for those looking to gain fame and recognition. E: The fame that one gets from tiktok is short lived. E: After a viral video from the creator,the likes and views sky rocket and a sudden surge of hope arises within the creator. However, the next video of the creator, the views and likes will die down tremendously, completely destroying whatever hope confidence/momentum the creator ever had.

Conclusion: In conclusion, i still believe that tik tok is an ideal platform for those looking to gain fame and recognition.

Conclusion is abrupt; It'd be good to end off with a reflection, talk about how 'balance is key', predictions for the future etc... Content: 7/10m Delivery: 3/5m (can be more fluent)

Another reason why I believe that youths today care too much about how people perceive them is because of wanting to be validated and fit in by their peers. As a result of social media, it has created a culture where most people curate a fake online persona of themselves in order to receive social approval from their peers. This can be in the form of performing things that may not align with their actual values such as vaping, smoking , cyberbullying.

P: Firstly, in the ever-evolving landscape of social media abound, Tiktok emerges as one of the most notable social media platforms, enabling individuals from diverse backgrounds to watch and create content transcending geographical boundaries.

E: Multiple users on the platform wish are able to gain traction and recognition that is driven by self-gratification, hoping to gain a achieving a decent following.

E: For instance, Charlie Damelio was once a competitive dancer who now turned into the most followed tt creator. Her videos, consisting of a myriad of short dances to trending audios, inspire users, especially youths, to do the same. The unwavering support and traction from her fans lead to partnerships with major brands and appearances on television. This exemplifies Tiktok's undoubted ability to uphold career opportunities just through fostering a notable reputation online.

P: Secondly, tt's algorithmic approach driven by AI, creates a niche of similar and relevant interests of the user.

E: For example, as a devoted book enthusiast, I enjoy watching book reviews and recommendations from authors and novel critics, or even other book enthus like myself. By liking and interacting with such videos, feedback is given to the AI-powered system, altering the algorithm,, allowing for a more enjoyable watching experience. This algorithm allows creators to garner followers interested in the relevant niches they produce reels for, allowing for a higher rate of traction and popularity.

P(Alternative POV) However, others may argue otherwise. it would be unjustifiable to dismiss how popularity can be short-lived. Have you ever heard of the phrase '15 minutes of fame'? It is tough to create content when you know there are multiple others creating the same content as you, or even when interests become outdated. I once had a tt account myself, making book recommendations to a small audience of 32 followers. Then one day, I finally gotten my big break. A video I uploaded about a popular fiction novel amassed over thousands of views, and I ended up gaining more followers and positive comments. However, my stardom was only temporary, and the views on my videos started to deplete to single digit numbers.

This shows that that fame is only acquired out of sheer luck, and there is no guarantee for long-lasting recognition and popularity.

Conclusion: All in all, Tiktok's effective algorithm, viral content mechanism, and global reach are key factors that contribute to its unprecedented influence, making it the quintessential platform to transform ordinary people into global sensations.

Good conclusion; solid points backed by clear EEEs and personal experiences Content: 9/10m

First, TikTok fame is often short-lived and superficial. Many users go viral for random trends or dances, but they struggle to maintain long-term recognition. For example, the "Ocean Spray skateboard guy" became famous overnight, but now most people have already forgotten about him. His fame didn’t last, and he didn’t build a lasting brand.

Secondly, TikTok’s algorithm can be unfair and unpredictable. People put in a lot of effort into making high-quality content, but the app might not push it to users, while low-effort or controversial videos go viral instead. I know a classmate who posted educational videos every week for months, but her views were always low, while another student posted a silly lip-sync video once and suddenly gained thousands of followers.

However, I do agree that TikTok can be a good platform for talented individuals to gain exposure. For example, singer Olivia Rodrigo gained a huge boost on TikTok, and it helped launch her music career even further. Many small artists and businesses have also gotten attention that they wouldn’t get otherwise.

Personally, I tried using TikTok to share my digital art. At first, I got excited because one video went viral, but after that, my views dropped and I felt discouraged. I realized it's not just about talent, but also timing, luck, and trends.

In conclusion, while TikTok can help some people gain fame, it is not a reliable or consistent platform for recognition. It rewards trends over talent and makes fame feel temporary. It’s better to focus on building your skills and audience in a more stable and meaningful way.

The first benefit of teenagers participating in social media trends is that teenagers are able to make a living/profit out of these trends.This will be especially helpful to those from lower income families. For example, TikTok includes a TikTok affiliation program where anybody can sign up to get money from views. Hence, participating these social media trends can garner views and likes for them to get money off of it.

Another benefit of teenagers participating in social media trends is that teenagers are able to use social media to raise awareness regarding a certain cause or current affairs. This can be examplery from the USC ice bucket challenge where this social media trend aims to raise awareness on a rare condition called USC. The trend involves someone pouring iced water over their head, at the end voting for somebody to participate in the challenge.

Risks

Unfortunately, a risk for teenagers participating in these social media trends may expose them to unnecessary and negative fame, becoming famous for the wrong thing. Social media has a dark side where harmful trends, such as the tide pod challenge, would influence teenagers to do the wrong thing in the pretext of social media trends. Not only that, social media has created a trend of unrealistic body standards, normalising starving yourself. A trend or aesthetic that is followed in TikTok is the wonyoungism aesthetic where girls would strive to be as thin as the kpop idol and not eating at all.