Effective Essay Activity by

Instructions

rgonza22 — 2025-05-13 23:29:52 UTC

Find your assigned group and paragraph number
Read your designated paragraph carefully using the Effective Essay Checklist
Create a post that includes:
- Your analysis of the paragraph’s structure
- Assessment of strengths and weaknesses
- Evaluation of overall readability/clarity
- Specific suggestions for improvement
Reference specific sentences or phrases to support your critique
Be constructive and specific in your feedback

Body Paragraph #2

rgonza22 — 2025-05-13 23:35:57 UTC

The paragraph is clear for understanding and uses relatable examples, but it needs smoother transitions and more specific word choices. Strong idea - just a tedious to finish.

Body Paragraph #3

rgonza22 — 2025-05-13 23:36:10 UTC

I feel like the writer could've done a better job at explaining why the face-to-face interactions are so important for emotional well-being and social development.

The structure of the paragraph is well prepared and introduces the topic that is then expressed and supported by additional information on how too much time on social media can be negative. As said in the line "...it doesn't feel like quality time." This line expresses how the negativity from social media is further explained in a concise manner.

I feel like he kind of repeats the same thing over and over during the paragraph I know its about the topic but i don't feel like his claims are that strong and could have made them better

Conclusion

rgonza22 — 2025-05-13 23:36:56 UTC

The conclusion is very weak and does not go over the hook. It also does not clearly state a recommendation. It does not have strong reasons.

Body Paragraph #1

rgonza22 — 2025-05-14 12:30:58 UTC

The first body paragraph doesn't inspire me to write any overtly positive or negative points, which goes hand in hand with its vagueness. Okay, great, social media 'allow[s] us to stay in touch with friends we don't see often', but what does that mean for its effectiveness? It is a relatively lukewarm observation anyone could make. There is a coherent point, but it doesn't provide enough context towards what it means for social media to be an effective influence.

Introduction

rgonza22 — 2025-05-14 12:31:12 UTC

The hook is too general, and it doesn't grab the reader's attention. It introduces the topic clearly, but it does not include an interesting statistic or fact. The sentences do lead to the thesis, but the connection could be smoother, and the thesis itself is too casual. The thesis mentions the topic, but it does not clearly answer a question, and it sounds informal and conversational rather than academic.