•Evoke a desired emotion through your use of language in a personification.

•Create a ‘big picture’ overview of a scene, and contrast this with a ‘zoomed in’ detail.

•Use your knowledge of descriptive techniques to improve an example description.

•Develop a plan for a descriptive writing title.

•Combine your descriptive writing techniques to craft a descriptive paragraph. 

•Answer: Everyone cheered enthusiastically as the winner crossed the line and the ribbon trailed out behind her like a comet’s tail.

•Task: Describe the scene in a busy toy shop 

•Answer: The toy shop was as silent as a mausoleum, albeit a mausoleum with smiling teddy bears, shiny red fire engines, and glittering hula hoops on the shelves instead of coffins.

•Task: Describe the scene at a child’s birthday party

•Answer: My eyes snapped open and a big, goofy grin spread across my face as I realised today was the day I had been waiting for: my ninth birthday. Visions of the gigantic chocolate cake mum had been icing last night danced before my eyes. Then I thought about all the presents I would be getting… 

•Task: Describe the scene in a crowded airport terminal

•Answer: The people were packed like disgruntled sardines into the plane, their skin slick as fish-scales with sweat both from the hot, stuffy air and their annoyance at the four-hour delay they had endured. 

•Task: Describe the scene entering a sports stadium

•Answer: Panic swept through the crowd as news of a bomb-scare reached them more through the frightened repetitions and screaming from the front of the crowd than from the distorted electrical voice over the loud-speakers. 

•This link to the videos is in the Content Library: tinyurl.com/henrydescriptivemodel

•By the end of this session, you should be able to produce:

1.Answers to the questions for certain videos

2.A plan for your mock assessment

3.At least the first paragraph of your mock assessment

4.An evaluation of my finished piece

•I will be working through the videos with the class, but if you like, and have headphones, you can move through the videos at your own pace.

•Any of the above three not completed in class, will be extra for homework; if you move ahead and complete the above to a high standard, you can start the homework in class.

•What is the assessor looking for?

•What are your first ideas for “describe the scene on bonfire night”?

•Now watch the rest of the video, then research bonfire night and write down at least three new ideas from the pictures or videos you find.

•You can also look at the completed plan on the Padlet.

•Now list your ideas under the five senses (and feel).

•Why should you write in the third person, present tense?

•Now plan out each of your paragraphs (about six).

•Watch final 2 mins to see planning of the last paragraph

•What extra detail can you add to your plans now?

•What sort of things am I thinking about as I’m writing? What choices do I make?

•Now try writing your opening paragraph, or any other paragraph for your mock assessment.

•How long should your piece be?

•What should you be careful with when using speech?

•Does it matter if you don’t include everything from your plan?

•Why bother doing a plan?

•Now read the whole finished piece, and identify what it does well, what it does less well, and which assessment criteria it meets.

•From the videos, I want you to note down / quote the following, and their time in the video:

•One mistake that I identified in my piece in the video.

•Four descriptive techniques I identify, along with the explanation of why I think they are effective.

•Three pieces of advice / things you learn from the videos that will be useful when you write your descriptive piece.

•The above should be from a range of different places in the video.

•Write your notes in (or copy them into) your homework section of Class Notebook