Have you ever noticed a horse pinning his ears back when you're grooming, turning his head quickly towards you, him picking up a hoof and threatening to cow kick or even actually cow kicking? These are obviously signs of a horse communicating that he has an issue with something.

So first - a bad Patty story.  I was once grooming a horse to get ready for a class.  We were short handed and I was in a rush having just finished a lesson and needing to get a horse ready for another therapist. The horse was wiggling around and I was getting frustrated and was not really in a place where I was listening since I had an agenda that must be followed.  We were finally ready, and I took the horse into the ramp for a small child with a big physical issue to be mounted.  I had to frequently tell Miss Piggy “no” and to stand still.  I still was not listening.  We get into the arena and within a lap, Miss Piggy threw a cow kick out and narrowly missed the therapist.  This was unusual for Miss Piggy, so we continued on.  I could handle her!  Within another lap, Miss Piggy cow kicked again, only this time she nailed the therapist.  This was it.  We may have to remove Miss Piggy from the program. We could not have a horse cow kicking our therapist.  We stopped the session and while removing the bareback pad, I was finally slow enough to focus on my horse, I noticed that just behind the bareback pad there was a bump that was not normally there.  Turns out that poor Miss Piggy had been kicked by one of her pasture mates.  The physical therapist and the other side walker just happened to booty bump that exact spot with each step while supporting their rider. Very quickly, Miss Piggy had to get loud enough for those of us around her to hear that she hurt.  She was not being bad.  She was not being mean.  She hurt.  I missed so many of her smaller communications that she was trying to tell me something because I had my own agenda.  She wiggled, she pinned her ears, she swished her tail.  She refused to move forward.  She did everything she could to let me know until she had to scream at me.  Unfortunately someone else got to experience pain before I listened.

So my first piece of advice when working with horses is to slow down, get rid of your agenda, get present and pay attention.  Have you ever had someone enter a room that you were in when they were angry or excited or depressed.  You can feel it!  So can horses.  So take a deep breath and center yourself before you enter their stall or go out to the field.  Are you ready to listen to them as much as you are asking them to listen to you?

OK - you're there!  And your horse meets you with a butt turn.  Surely a disrespectful sign.  Maybe, just maybe, the last person that worked with him was not “there” and disrespected him and did not listen to him.  Why should he expect that you will be any different.  We need to build trust and earn respect, so calm down and talk to him and ask him to turn his head to you.  Go in with the energy that you promise to try to listen - you might get it wrong, but you’re going to try.

You’re grooming and he turns his head around towards you… “Hey what’s up?  Thanks for being here with me.”

He moves forward or backwards a step or 2 - “Hay- there is an itchy spot that you’re missing”

You’re in the stall and he starts getting antsy - This one takes some detective work.

You’re grooming and he moves away. You continue to groom and he turns his head quickly towards you. You continue to groom and he pins his ears back at you.  You continue to groom and he bites at you. Well you’re lucky that he was only warning you.  He has been telling you something and you were not listening. 

So what should you do in this situation.

You’re grooming and he moves away from you. 

This is building a relationship.  This is listening and communicating.  This is trusting.  This is NOT speed dating.  This is a slow gradual process.  If you blow through it, the next person will pay the price and your horse will never know the meaning of trust.  He will only know fear.

And this is why I often say that we should not groom a horse to make him clean.  We groom a horse to listen, to learn about our partner, to build a relationship.  

Here is my “cool horse moment” story. You don’t have to fake it until you make it.  You need to be honest with yourself, admit when you’re having a bad day, and sometimes ask for help!

Dude’s previous owner was going to do a mock session for our PATH Intl inspection.  I figured that a simple grooming session would be a good observable moment for an ES and a Mental Health professional to be observed.  Dude obviously knew this boy and got along well with him.  Perfect.  He goes in and starts grooming.  Dude got wiggly and then started walking in circles and was escalating in his anxiousness.  The boy looks over to me.  I went over as I knew that he was getting nervous and Dude was for sure nervous and asked what was going on.  The boy said. “Well I did not want to ruin this for you so I didn’t say anything, but I was upset because I just buried my cat”.  Dude stopped pacing, put his head down, and the boy was able to continue to groom.