Andrew M. Google Sites Peer Feedback 2021 - 2022 by Andrew Montenegro https://padlet.com/28amontenegro/32zycafp1vey6iml Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2021-10-04 18:14:01 UTC 2022-03-09 19:16:30 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/icons/Apple.png Sebastiao 28spinto https://padlet.com/28amontenegro/32zycafp1vey6iml/wish/1800897094 Another thing you did really well was that you talked to the reader in your writing. “Yes you heard that right I like to drink coffee. ”This whole sentence is talking to the reader which can strengthen your writing. Another thing that I thought was great is that you elaborated on what you we’re talking about. “One of my dream  cars is a Nissan GT-R R35 Or a Toyota  Supra MK5. My family  thinks that it is incredible that I know so many names of cars.” This strengthens your writing.I wished that you would have changed your opening to have more detail (“Hi my name is Andrew I’m going to tell you a little about me and what I like.”) to pull in the reader so they continue reading.


]]> 2021-10-07 20:35:41 UTC https://padlet.com/28amontenegro/32zycafp1vey6iml/wish/1800897094 Sebastiao 28spinto https://padlet.com/28amontenegro/32zycafp1vey6iml/wish/1925977261 A strength that was in your memoir was when you elaborate on how you were feeling and seeing “My eyes looked at the soft, leather seat cushions, a peachy-white. The warm air collided with my body as I was blinded by the light of the sun” this’d really made your story better.Also explaining the sun “It was so beautiful, with orange and pink colors blending together” really made me imagine the sun set that you described. One thing that I think could make your memoir better is if you added more inner thoughts because the ones that you do have made your story better.


]]> 2021-12-02 19:44:11 UTC https://padlet.com/28amontenegro/32zycafp1vey6iml/wish/1925977261 Sebastiao 28spinto https://padlet.com/28amontenegro/32zycafp1vey6iml/wish/2086767888 Hi Andrew. A star that was present in these sentences “It’s one of the happiest moments for a child  to do."We all make choices in life, but in the end our choices make us."’ I really enjoy this because it really strengthens the end of your writing piece even more. One more thing that shines in your writing is your writing is very clear cut and gets straight to the point and right into the details. Your writing demonstrates that it is important to get to the point and use details to back up your writing which really helps in the perspective department. One thing that I wish you could change is make this sentence “Then it hits 2 people, and the child starts to move around”This is very confusing because the reader is not going to know if he just got a double kill or there is only him and another person so if you made this more clear it can help your writing.]]> 2022-03-09 19:16:30 UTC https://padlet.com/28amontenegro/32zycafp1vey6iml/wish/2086767888