I really dont like you. The reason i say i dont like you isnt because i truly dislike you. Its because i wish i didnt like you as much as i do. Im crazy about you in actuality.

Ive always prided myself in being the girl who doesnt need a guy to give her joy or purpose. I like to make everyone around me feels happy, but that doesnt mean that i need a guy to make me happy tho, right. Then you come around and i dont even know what to do with myself anymore. Youre literally going through my mind so much during the day that it begins to brighten up my life.

You come around and liking you is completely inevitable. I'll admit it lil bit scared and trying to fight these feelings. How can something that feels scared and wrong, also feel so right? 

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I know, i know that youre nothing like the others guys. I believe that one with all of my heart. Knowing your mindset on life make me sure youre good one. So im not worried about you breaking my heart, im worried about me breaking my own heart by falling for you.

I avoid liking you because i feel like i will never be enough for you, or you'll never interested. Its so hard not to fall for you, whenever you handled my mood or just knowing my mood, the ways we telling jokes, the way you being silly and accept my annoying side, oh God.

You bring the absolutely best out of me.

I have no idea how you feel towards me. Some days it feels like you feel what i feel. I just dont want to be the idiot girl who leads herself on, and blames the guys for being kind to her.

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Im going to push my feelings to the side and make sure you never know of this, why? Because i respect you. I dont want to ruin this. And i dont want to you look at me any differently if you dont feel the same way. So i try to hide these feelings but i dont thinks it works? so you know it, and you tell you likes me?.

Youre just so amazing. Youre always here to listen to my story if its doesnt important, and you always have the right things to say. How couldnt i like you? its nearly impossible. I thank God for you everynight. Youre the kind of guy ive always prayed to meet. Youre also the kind of guys i'd rather have in my life even just a friend, even though it would be nice to have you be more than that. HEHEHEHE.

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You have honestly really changed my life in so many positive ways that you possibly couldnt imagine.

You came into mylife at just right moment. I dont know how you did it, but you somehow managed to be truly amazing to me even then. I dont feel like someone can understood me the way you do.

You just took my black and white world and made it colorful and full of joys.

You are always listening to what im saying, the only one who can handled this moody, this weird and annoying. I remember how we spoke for hours, and how even though it was super late, i didnt want to stop talking to you. Our conversation is literally my favoritos.

What we have just works our weirdos conversation, our little drama, our jokes, the way you silly then the way i easily getting mad and annoying. It may not work for all people, but I’m glad it does for us.

I remember the mor-nite when you called me, it was like i got a heart attack i was so nerveous idk what to do so i invited you to login molen LOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLL.

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When im sad you always know how to confort me, or when i need someone to be angry with, you always here listening to that shit. LOOOL. And the way you still text me and say the cute things for me even if you may be really busy or tired. You always have a time to say goodbye when you really sleepy. Everyday you make me feel so blessed because i cant belive someone as amazing loving caring sweet and thoughtful as you is such a big part of my life.

The way you always being sweet when in my period. its kinda cute. 

Even if, for some reason, we dont work out, i want to look back on this letter and remind myself of how much i do love and appreciate you as person. This is the first time in my whole life i have ever been able to confidently say ive loved the person with. You always have a special place in my heart. CIAAAAAA CHEESY BENGUD.

I would never get tired telling you this,

Thanks for being you.

- Rotsecna .

Lol. i open this again. kinda miss u rn. i know you'll never open this shit things again. i keep thinking bout you since we didnt talk. im sorry. i never wish you feel the same way tho. i hope you happy now. so, how was your day my (still) favorite person? please eat well and stay healthy. oh god. u know that the more i try yo forget you, the more it gets hurt and the more i miss you.

i miss you doesnt mean i want you to comeback (yeah tbh i miss us) but, if you happy rn, im happy for you. and if u already find someone new, and if happy is her, im happy for you tho. im sorry that i still think about you, still miss you like everyday, and still have feelings fot you, and im so so sorry, im not ready yet to forget about you. tenang aja, one day, i gotta be ready to doin that damn things. LOL, writing this padlet make me miss you even more. and this kinda sad cus i kno that you never opened this again, but thats okay.

anyway, bentar lagi ganti season hahahahahahaha. but i guess u officially pensiun rn? hahahaha, okay forget about it. you need focus on your collage now, make me proud, Ice Bear. this panpan always support you no matter what. 👊🏻

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well hello again?👋🏻 lol i opened this again and again. 

im sorry for doing this but if i wrote something here it makes me a lil bit better, its like i finally can tell you everything even though you didnt see this.

god, i miss you so much much much. i just cant find the way how can i wakeup in midnight without thinking bout you. idk why but talk with the others it doesnt makes sense, i just getting bored easily, tbh i feelin weird to talk to the other guys. i know that i'll never find someone like you again. i wish i can ask how was your day, talk everythings in my mind. i got a lil bit stressed rn, because

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well hello again, just forget the last thing that i said, im feelin' better now. tbh i feel better since i meet you. okay im gonna tell u something. tbh i was missing you like a lot and in that day i was searching for you. kasian gak. ya its a long story kenapa aku tau kamu di lantai 7 wkwk. tapi kamu gaada disana yaudah aku hopeless aku turun aja:(, eh pas nunggu lift ketemu he he he he he. degdegan wkwk:(. tapi ceneng. oiya, udah ganti season loh!! gapapasi sebenernya pengumuman aja. hehe. udah ah. malu. dadah. :( 

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1:08am.

Hey, i hope u r doin fine. Dulu kita jam segini masih bahas hal gapenting wkwk. Kadang, baru beres push juga wkwk. Semoga kamu udah gak nocturnal lagi ya wkwk. Aku mau cerita:( ya walaupun kamu gaakan baca jugasih tapi bodoamat:( tauga?:( aku kan punya pulpen unicorn ya gila lucu banget pokonya aku sayang banget:( taunya kepalanya tiba tiba ilang jadi tinggal pulpennya gt kepala unicornnya ilang trs aku nangis ya da sedih:( nah terus aku beli satu lagi tapi beda tapi sama ya unicorn:( trs apa coba?:( rambut sama tanduknya ilang:( jadi kayak unta albino:( trs aku sedih dikelas minta cariin rambutnya ke temen aku trs masa malah diketawain padahal emg itu sedih bgt kaya kehilangan anak kedua kalinya:( gitu aja bye intinya aku galau:( pms lagi:( jadi aja:( mongamuk:(

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It almost a month we didnt talk like this. Tbh i thinking, are you miss me like i miss you? or have you ever been think about me even one sec in your day?:(

Oh god, am i miss you because i thinking about you? or i thinking about you because i miss you?

Yeah like i ever said is the fukcin hardest thing that i have done. :')

On my silent days, i miss you a little louder.

Oke forget bout this.

Tauga? di ganti season ini aku udah epic lagi HEHEHE. Emang aku makin jago, kalo gak percaya, tanya andre. Kemarin aku push sama dia, aku disuruh pake mage, tapi vexana udah kepake, aku ga pede ya pake mage:( lagian aku pake oddette ya kalo ada Ancestor hehe. Terus aku pake cyc, nah aku ga pede aku minta swipe sama akai kan, NAH NERIMA TUH SI AKAI. Eh pas masuk ke persenan aku tetep pake cyc tapi emblem tank ANEH GASIH MAU NANGIS:(((((. Tapi... AKU GOLD HAHAHAHA. Emang dasarnya jago si acu hehe. udah gitu aja dadiiwwzzz.

HAEEEE GAIS

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