https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj after you watch the videos, Discuss about the concept of marriage that you found interesting and give your opinion about this? how are we the same and different with them? en-us 2020-10-14 02:58:43 UTC 2021-01-11 14:53:07 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/840117816 I think that its really interesting how these people view marriages. After watching this i reflected back on my views on marriage and how mine were similar to the journalist who interviewed the Maasai tribe. Its really eye opening how these people think marriage isn't about love but rather about lust and taking care of the village. Personally i view marriage as a commitment where two people who love each other spend the rest of their lives together, but after watching the videos i realised that a lot of other people view marriage in a different light. I didn't really know how to react when the girls said that the sex they had with their husbands aren't consensual it shocked me so much since consent is really important to me. It is also shocking that although these girls have had past relationships before and them knowing that their relationship is not going to lead them anywhere since they will be arranged with another man is really sad. I feel so bad for them but oddly enough i think because in the village its so normalised most of these women already know their fate and they just have to stick to it to continue the tradition. ]]> 2020-10-19 07:29:26 UTC https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/840117816 zyzymonzy https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/840554442 I think being surprised is an understatement because I’m more than surprised. Their definition of love isn’t even close to my definition of love and by that alone, you can see the cultural difference. The fact that underage arranged marriage is viewed as something normal is a bit weird to me because in our modern society, we view child marriage as something very inhumane due to the fact that these children cannot give consent. Which leads me to the next point, I can’t believe these girls have already had sex with their husbands and even implied that it wasn’t consensual due to the fact that beforehand, the girls said that they couldn’t say no and disappoint their husbands. It may be something normalized in their culture, but because I live in a culture that is heavily different than theirs, I have to say that I think their normalization of non-consensual behavior is concerning. Though actually, I don't find the concept of polygamy THAT surprising because I know there are people out there who can love more than one person. However, it's shocking that women get married with men just to sexually please the man and take care of household chores rather than why people get married in our culture; because we mutually love each other. After reflection, I've realized that there are people in our culture who get married with people their parents have arranged them with to please them too. So, in some sense, there are similarities between our culture.]]> 2020-10-19 11:18:07 UTC https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/840554442 0216003323 https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/841403163 It's interesting because marriage is an arrangement created for practical purposes between corresponding families, or even within families. For example, the norm of the Maasai tribe is for husbands to have more than one wife. One man reasons he will marry two women because it "distributes the household chores, such as taking care of the goats, cows,  pastures to lessen the burden of chores of one wife". The use additional labour to further the prosperity of land is supported by another family's intention to wed one woman to every male sibling in their family. The two examples of practical arrangement highlights three core values within the tradition of the life of the Maasai tribe and Himachal Pradesh: personal financial prosperity to gain status and acknowledgement from their immediate community, maintaining the tradition of polygyny and polyandry to avoid social scrutiny, and confining men and women to their assigned roles as a part of continuing their culture. This secures their positions within their surrounding culture as men from the Maasai tribe are defined by their prosperity of their lands, and the women they marry support their family by serving the land that the men own by taking care of the crops, cows, other farm animals and agriculture, in return for the hopes of financial security and "protection" assigned for men to do for their wives. The women's only option in order to survive is to marry the men their family decides for them, both from a cultural and financial perspective. Without marrying a man, women are unable to find any financial merit because the community decides their value by the land they own. Whereas their community has strongly secured themselves within their created social structures, therefore guaranteeing public scrutiny and scarred reputation for the families of the women that have opposed those social structures. To simply put, marriage in both the Maasai and Himachal Pradesh, India, is based purely on convenience and practicality for both the men and women in their cultures. Love is an actor left in the backstage of the performance. This differs immensely from our "contemporary" beliefs, which find marriage on the basis of love and the choice of the individual. ]]> 2020-10-19 15:09:20 UTC https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/841403163 0219005396 https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/843377929 2020-10-20 02:41:31 UTC https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/843377929 https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/843619107 The videos were very intriguing to me, as it shows just how the concept and values of marriage varies greatly in different cultures and regions. How the Masaai women have completely accepted polygamy and don't exactly experience 'jealousy' or hurt from sharing a husband, but rather view it as a positive thing, really reinforces that a marriage represents such different things in other cultures, and it makes me contemplate the idea of marrying. While it certainly contrasts my views on marriage, relationships, and love, there isn't necessarily something that can be pointed as 'wrong', as the normalised perception of marriage is a construct in itself, and most definitely relative. Although marriage is much more of an economic strategy in these regions, in contrary to the Western ideal of marrying for love, there is still a certain extent in which 'modern' marriages have economic / financial reasons behind them, e.g. business marriages that occur often in modern society. Essentially, the way a culture's circumstances (tradition, collectivism, need for survival, land, etc.) construct their concepts of things like marriage continue to awe me. ]]> 2020-10-20 05:14:59 UTC https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/843619107 0216003427 https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/843958912 I think it’s interesting that polyandry is accepted and normalized in Himachal Pradesh, India. While polygamy is a controversial topic in Indonesia, it’s still common for men to have multiple wives in Indonesia, almost like the marriage culture in Masaai tribe. In rural places of Indonesia, having twelve wives is normal, and this shows a man’s state of power. However, if there was polyandry, Indonesians wouldn’t be as accepting about it, rather than accepting polyandry. It’s more shocking to me, as an Indonesian, that the husbands who share a wife are brothers. They’re blood related, and it made me question if it’s considered as incest or not. Being a woman with two husbands doesn’t exactly mean that women are more dominant than men in that culture (I would like to dig deeper with this culture).]]> 2020-10-20 07:54:02 UTC https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/843958912 melati_aviyanindya https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/844328560 Reflecting back on the definition and views of love and marriage of my culture, it differs very much from the culture of the Maasai tribe. After watching the video, I found it really interesting that the women don't feel jealousy from sharing their husband with other women in the tribe (and have a good relationship with the other wives). I also found it interesting that the reason for why the men in this tribe have multiple wives is so that it would be more convenient for them to do the house/family chores, kind of like a strategy. I don't think that this is necessarily wrong, because this is the way the culture perceives marriage. But a few things do bother me, like how they marry these women to just have sex with them and have them help out with chores, without any feelings or acts of affection, which is quite different from my culture, where there is a mutual feeling of love. It also bothers me that these women are not allowed to say no to their husbands and normalize non-consensual sex (from a young age too). There are some similarities between this culture and my (mostly Indonesian/Southeast Asian) culture, like the concept of polygamy - which is also allowed in Indonesia - and arranged marriages. ]]> 2020-10-20 11:08:47 UTC https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/844328560 https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/844950214 The videos I’ve watched have a really interesting context about marriage but somehow it confused me because their definition of love and marriage is beyond my views on perceiving both of the contexts. But somehow this slightly fascinates me because the practice of polyandry is being accepted, or some sort of like a tradition. In other places around the world, the practice of polyandry itself has remained among the least known, the information about it is so little. But in some areas like the Himachal padresh, the practice of it really exists, specifically fraternal polyandry. Typically the practice of fraternal polyandry is being arranged by the family, the marriage was because of choice instead of love. But the nature of human behavior in regards to love will eventually remain the same, the feeling will grow, the system of the human mind towards the idea of love is triggered by  some essential acts of affection partners usually do, for example, a physical touch, spending time near one another, and mutual social interactions. Yet the symmetrical treatment in terms of affection and sexual access needs to be formed in deviations from this ideal occur and generate interfamilial tension. This act such as "deviations" is particularly common to create conflict between the husbands. Although from the video we can see that if it comes to sexual access, they need to equally shift to avoid dominant conflict. Therefore, this has an impact on the children where the family doesn’t even claim or care in which father they’re born to, they’re there just living their roles; the act of polyandry shows that this practice is likely a part of the tradition, the act of it is to fulfill social demands. It emerges in a way of the economic problems that might occur in a particular limited area that implies only a few jobs available; If the two husbands that were siblings are married to two different women, they need to split the land which is impossible because they live in a limited area, that’s why the tradition of fraternal polyandry still remains. In the end, the act of polyandry will uniquely occur depends on the current situation, tradition, the demand from society, limited space and the economic problem. This essentially has some kind of similarities with Indonesia, where some people have arranged marriage to solve particular problems or either throughout family issues. However, Indonesia's law of marriage is based on the knowledge of monogamy, the act of polyandry itself is forbidden under the law UU no. 1, 1974 (UUP) and it's frequently against Islamic sharia laws. ]]> 2020-10-20 14:15:42 UTC https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/844950214 0218004614 https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/847505472 I think what's interesting to me is how the Maasai tribe viewed marriage and love. One man shared: "I don't know. I just sleep with the girls" when asked what love meant for them. I was especially stunned with how marriage was arranged in the tribe. I was baffled when I saw that the wives were young, added with the fact that their family forced them into it. I think what was really concerning for me was that these girls couldn't disappoint and say no to their husbands, which could imply non-consensual sex. Sex was the 'borderline' for marriage and that was it. That being said, marriage there was seen more for practical purposes rather than for love for each other. A man shared that he would take two wives because "It would be very hard for just one wife. You have to look after the cows, goats, water, and firewood - all on your own!". Another woman shared that it was good for a husband to have two wives, as they could distribute household chores. I also thought it was interesting that the wives don't get jealous of each other and live harmoniously with one another.

The tribe's practices aren't something that I would disagree with, as it is THEIR culture. We are simply different in how we define love and marriage. Love for me is a mutual relationship, based on acts of kindness, affection, and care for each other. That being said, Indonesian culture is similar to theirs in ways such as; legalised polygamy and (prevalent) arranged marriages.]]> 2020-10-21 05:13:54 UTC https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/847505472 0110000306 https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/847526916 My view on marriage now is definitely different from what was shown in the videos. I saw it as a union between families and is built from a relationship possibly romantically. My view in a sense was similar to the Maasai tribe interviewer as I believed that some romance would be involved in the relationship at a certain point. I know some families with arranged marriage don’t have romance involved but I would expect that feelings come at a certain point of that relationship. I thought it was really interesting how their views on marriage revolved around building a community and taking care of one another. On another note though, polygamy is something done by my ancestors. My great grandfather I believe had 5 wives, one of his wives even re married her late sisters husband on top of that. It doesn’t happen anymore in the family now as it’s part of the evolving culture, but it still is something that doesn’t surprise me that much. I was though concerned when some of the girls said their sexual intercourse sometimes are nonconsensual, consent is something I believe is really important as a relationship consists of two or more parties and things like intercourse is something I believe should be with mutual consent. So in a sense my ancestral culture is quite similar when it comes to polygamy and more than two people involved in marriage but it has evolved so it’s not something seen often anymore. Arranged marriages are also something common in my culture so somewhat it’s quite similar.]]> 2020-10-21 05:26:02 UTC https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/847526916 0110000341 https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/847531980 It's quite interesting to hear about how certain cultures view the concept of love and marriage. All the different cultures that were shown in the videos basically put a huge emphasis on the fact that they all allow polygamous marriages. I knew that every culture is bound to have their own set of values and norms, so I wasn't really that surprise to learn that in some places, people have actually normalized the idea of polygamous relationships. However, since it doesn't align with what I've been taught to believe within my own culture, I definitely found it to be very unusual and different. 

In my culture, marrying more than once, even after a divorce, is not always encouraged. So the idea of marrying more than one person is most likely not going to be accepted. I also find it very interesting that the Maasai tribe in particular views marriage as a sense of duty or more for the purpose of survival rather than for mutual love. This can be proven by how one of the Maasai men stated that "work will be very hard for just one wife" in response to the interviewer's statement about how she wouldn't be able to share her partner. Although I might not agree, it honestly doesn't seem to be an issue as the wives themselves did mention that they're able to live harmoniously with each other. However, what concerns me the most is probably the fact that some of the marriages are arranged and many of the female tribe members in the video were said to be underage. This definitely brings up the discussion of consent within arranged marriages which is also something that's actually seen as an issue in my own culture as well as many others. ]]> 2020-10-21 05:28:38 UTC https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/847531980 0209000187 https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/859839702 I find the concept of marriage shown in the videos very intriguing. It differs drastically from my personal view of marriage as the videos showcase a few examples of polygamy and polyandry marriages rooted in their cultures' traditions and customs. It's interesting to see how marriages are often associated with practical or economic benefits above attachment, emotions and feelings (generally how I would define "love."). Therefore, that itself contradicts my personal view of marriage as I prioritize emotions and comfortability over economic benefits. I find the fraternal polyandry video particularly interesting due to my unfamiliarity. It's intriguing how the factors weighed into marriage are far different than how I would view it. The video mentioned that siblings sharing a wife/ a man having multiple wives provide a fair-share amount of benefits regarding land, agriculture, domestic tasks, etc. I wouldn't necessarily say that these marriages are not sourced from love since love can be defined differently. But considering that some of the Maasai women were overall happy and satisfied with the tradition, it made me realize how these traditions benefit them in their current circumstances, despite it being very different and uncommon in my culture. ]]> 2020-10-25 20:46:16 UTC https://padlet.com/nisaeee/2ytfsrk15s6zlbvj/wish/859839702