https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c Feel free to share as little or as much as you want. All posts will be anonymous. How have you seen gender and/or sexuality stigmatized in your own family or community? What have your experiences been in recognizing your own gender identity and/or sexuality? How have SEA gender norms impacted you? en-us 2021-03-06 00:55:12 UTC 2026-01-31 20:27:32 UTC hello@padlet.com hamydle https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276064005 whenever my parents talks about gay people, they always insinuate that it is a mental illness. although they say they dont discriminate against gay people, there's always this lens of disability when it comes to gay people. ]]> 2021-03-06 02:26:15 UTC https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276064005 https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276064158 I feel like the way I grew up was super gender binary with no room for any exploration due to the dichotomy of gender in Vietnamese culture. For example, I was only allowed to play with dolls or toys that were considered more feminine, whereas my brother was allowed to play with toys that were more masculine. I believe this lead me to grow up very sheltered from different gender and sexuality identities, so coming to college where it was such a big thing was very eye-opening. I wish there was more conversations about gender and sexuality within my own culture so that I could better explain it to my parents. ]]> 2021-03-06 02:26:24 UTC https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276064158 https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276064235 Within my family, I am always expected to live up to masculine standards perpetuated by SEA gender norms. Additionally, my family often comments on my sisters being too "tom boyish" which further illustrates the strong hold on these gender norms. For me, I feel like these norms just made me question my identity frequently and masculinity in relation to others.]]> 2021-03-06 02:26:29 UTC https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276064235 https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276064385 As much as i come to terms with my sexuality, I know for a fact that it's not something to be discussed often with my family. I think about how conservative they are and I know they will acknowledge me for who I am, but will definitely shut down the conversation. Intersectionality does play a big role in it too such as not only our identities as SEA Americans but also our religion, their political values, etc.]]> 2021-03-06 02:26:38 UTC https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276064385 https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276064389 they think of it as a trend]]> 2021-03-06 02:26:38 UTC https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276064389 jimmytrn7 https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276065279 my mom still thinks things are "girly" and "for boys" 

]]> 2021-03-06 02:27:36 UTC https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276065279 alisontrinh2001 https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276065312 There's a lot of homophobia when it comes to discussing gender and sexuality in my family. Similar to what another Padlet post said, when the topic of gayness comes up or if someone is not cisgender, it's always insinuated that it is a "sickness".]]> 2021-03-06 02:27:38 UTC https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276065312 ashleyninh https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276065381 although my mom has told me that she would be accepting no matter who I liked, I'm still afraid of her reaction if I ever dated someone who is of the same gender]]> 2021-03-06 02:27:43 UTC https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276065381 dylandjoen https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276065553 I've seen it stigmatized from my relatives where they don't think a man is a man if they are homosexual]]> 2021-03-06 02:27:54 UTC https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276065553 https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276065661 the social constructs are so deeply ingrained in the culture, that it can be suffocating to be at home. my family very clearly favors my brothers and allow them to laze around and do whatever, while they always leave all the chores to me. when i complain, the justify it by saying that im a girl. they nitpick me for not being soft and feminine and tell me i'll never find a husband and i think i've just reached a point where i'm numb to it]]> 2021-03-06 02:28:00 UTC https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276065661 https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276065904 TW: transphobia
My dad is p transphobic and traditional, so I grew up knowing some of the things he said were wrong and stigmatizing but didn’t know how to truly address them]]> 2021-03-06 02:28:16 UTC https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276065904 ashleyninh https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276066883 I've had one of my best friends tell me that when his mother found out he wore makeup, she cried and prayed that it wasn't happening. He had to lie and tell her that the makeup was something he kept for me in fear that his mom would disown him. Witnessing this was really disheartening because he believes that he has to have complete stability in his life and relationships in order to tell his mom or else he wouldn't be taken seriously.]]> 2021-03-06 02:29:12 UTC https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276066883 lemichelle1 https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276067205 being part of the lgtbq+ is definitely difficult to navigate and I've opted to not share those parts of my identity with my parents at all because homophobia is so heavily ingrained in SEA culture and beliefs. While this is fine, I hope there can be a push for more tolerance and understanding in the Asian Community.]]> 2021-03-06 02:29:34 UTC https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276067205 https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276067543 I still don’t 100% know how I feel about gender but I’m glad that we’ve gotten to a point where more people feel comfortable and safe expressing their gender and sexuality and that we are working towards creating a safer space for folks]]> 2021-03-06 02:29:53 UTC https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276067543 https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276067682 A lot of cultural biases have played a role in how my parents act and think gender. My mom refuses to let me go out wearing baggy clothing or anything oversized since she thinks it is not feminine enough and embarrassing that I would want to dress like that. It is described as "too boyish", which feels unfair how clothing style can affect gender representation.

]]> 2021-03-06 02:30:01 UTC https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276067682 https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276069696 Growing up, SEA gender norms affected me because I was yelled out for being too loud and aggressive and that I shouldn’t wear crop tops or low-cut shirts because that would attract the wrong attention and because “girls should dress and act modestly”. I also bought into heteronormative ideals of love and romance, thinking that was the way for me to feel happiness]]> 2021-03-06 02:32:01 UTC https://padlet.com/minhtramt/2xl8yxn3c9frn73c/wish/1276069696