Out vision for the song is a story of someone who is feeling desperate to save a relationship that is beyond repair so we want to work on the lyrics being down to earth, raw and relatable.

You didn't wanna make me cry,

I just need a little patience,

I know I do it all the time,

I don't like this situation,

Tell me did I cross a line,

I can't feel my hands again.

Verse 2:

You said you needed extra time,

But I don't wanna do It all again,

Incase you change your mind,

I don't wanna be a friend,

I'm spending every night,

Wishing I was dancing with you.

Chorus:

Oh I'm numb,

I haven't seen you in months,

Im starting to believe I was wrong,

I still need to catch my breath.

I'm still here,

And in my mind its so unclear,

that everything we built turned to picking fights and slamming doors,

posing like we're not at war.

Annotation:

The lines 'I can't feel my hands again' and 'I still need to catch my breath' are both there to indicate an on going feeling of panic and desperation ( key words being 'again' and 'still'. The lyric 'and in my mind its still unclear' can also indicate the mind scramble and fog associated with anxiety and panic.

I feel that the lyrics 'I don't wanna' used twice in the first verse display the sense of down to earth innocence quite well with raw and real emotion.

Originally, we were going to find a lyric that resonated best with the story we were telling but we couldn't decide. I then said to Sam (to help jog our inspirations a little) that the song is about convincing your former partner to change their mind about their feelings. We then realised that 'Change Your Mind' would be the perfect name because it is an order. When you get to the end of your tethers, people usually result to abrupt orders out of frustration.

My next post will hold the new finalised lyrics of our song 'Change Your Mind'

You didn't wanna make me cry,

I just need a little patience,

I know I do it all the time,

I don't like this situation,

Tell me did I cross a line,

I can't feel my hands again.

Verse 2:

You said you needed extra time,

But I don't wanna do It all again,

Incase you change your mind,

I don't wanna be a friend,

I'm spending every night,

Wishing I was dancing with you.

Chorus:

Oh I'm numb,

I haven't seen you in months,

Im starting to believe I was wrong,

I still need to catch my breath.

I'm still here,

And in my mind its so unclear,

that everything we built turned to picking fights and slamming doors,

posing like we're not at war.

Verse 3:

I don't wanna try again,

but I don't wanna throw it all away,

We can make pretend,

but I wish I could make you stay,

but there you go again,

cause you could never understand.

Verse 4:

That I really tried to get it right,

but you never gave me any patience,

you always try to start a fight,

cant we have a conversation?

Maybe we would be alright,

If I could ever catch my breath.

Chorus 2:

I'll just bite my tongue,

sitting with my eyes wide shut,

while you tell me that I am insane,

I still need to help myself,

I'm still here,

And in my mind its still unclear,

that everything we built turned to picking fights and slamming doors,

posing like we're not at war.

Bridge:

Sitting here collecting dust,

you watch me fade as I try to adjust to your expectations,

void of touch now.

Im still staring at my phone,

The silence grinds me down to the bone and im through with thinking I was ever enough.

Verse 5:

You didn't wanna make me cry,

I just need a little patience,

I know I do it all the time,

I don't like this situation,

Tell me did I cross a line,

I can't feel my hands again.

chorus:

Oh I'm numb,

I haven't seen you in months,

Im starting to believe I was wrong,

I still need to catch my breath.

I'm still here,

And in my mind its so unclear,

that everything we built turned to picking fights and slamming doors,

posing like we're not at war.

I decided to sing this solo for my demo so that I could take advantage of the backing vocals ideas that Taylor Swift inspired me with. She is known for her hard hitting, intense bridges so I composed a 3 part backing harmony of 'ahh's along with a lower harmony that dips in and out of the melody throughout the song.

I used lots of reverb and ambience in my vocals to create a 'stuck in a void' effect which also resonates with the lyric 'void of touch' which is in the bridge.

A stylistic decision I made was to make myself cry whilst recording the quiet verse before the intense last chorus to create a raw feeling to the listeners after the emotional chaos of the bridge. This brings the listeners back to a brief sense of reality.

This demo is not finished yet but I am happy with what I have created so far.

Between 0:22 and 0:33, you can hear the use of spoken word and stylistic use of breath between the lines. I find it interesting how the use of breath signifies the idea of aggression and prowess that the song is about and fills in the rhythmic gaps (being used as an instrument).

Overall, I feel that this went really well despite my nerves almost getting the better of me. you can hear in the first 10 seconds of the video that my voice is slightly shakey due to vocal tension (stemming from nerves). Soon after this I was able to relax and gain back my vocal control. I feel that my stage presence was adequate but there definitely could have been more movement on my part.

One of my favourite parts about performing this song (which you can see between 1:44 and 1:55) is where I was in control of the band coming back in for the last chorus. The use of breath to reel the audience in for a 'breather' (from all of the tension described in the song) was a good way to show chemistry between us band members since they followed my vocal cues to come back in and did so seamlessly.

The only stumble we had in this performance was that our drummer was nervous and played faster than what we rehearsed which was surprising to us all. Despite this, every member of the band was in time and I got through the song without running out of breath.

This was the first time I was able to sing this properly with a full band and a PA system. We also used this time to attempt the type of stage presence we will hold as a band. I realised the difficulty of controlling my voice whilst moving around. The highest notes in the chorus were just shy of my breaking point which means that I need to be very careful when I am singing by having complete control over my placement and breathing.

After listening to 'Dear John', the idea of merging Taylor Swifts song craft skills and full airy vocal tones and John Mayor's slow pitch bends and fast, chromatic licks came to light. I realised that crossing genres in this way could be fun and could also be what's missing from our song.

Attached above is a snippet of Sam improvising a guitar solo which will run alongside vocals on the last chorus. He used a similar guitar tone to that of John Mayer and took inspiration from his bluesy licks and pitch bends. I asked him to record power chords with his electric guitar over the bridge to create more depth to the first climax of the song which turned out to be exactly what was needed.

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Another thing that I feel sets me aside is the way I write songs to match emotion and feeling. I use instrumentation and texture to mimic feelings I have experienced. For example, the feeling of overwhelm and spiralling- I would use layered backing vocals, countermelodies and thick instrumentation to portray all of the thoughts spiralling and the feeling of overwhelm. In addition, all of this would be in a tasteful and satisfying way.

The tracks that are green (0:11 and 0:18 seconds) and (1:43 and 2:01 seconds) are counter melodies that I composed to fill in the spaces between vocal sections. As spoken about before, this was influenced by the guitar techniques in 'Dear John' by Taylor Swift. I used an electric piano setting on MIDI keyboard, added lots of reverb and ambience, high density, slight sustain, a medium amount of hold, bass and treble. I used this instrument over a guitar to match the atmospheric vocals and overall vibe of the song.

As you can see on the second track down named 'Old School Punk' ( roughly between bars 81 and 97) I also power chords to add more depth to the bridge, which were recorded in with an electric guitar. I slightly dampened the high mids of the EQ to make the guitar sound less crunchy/ scratchy. This allowed the guitar to add bass tones to fit the texture but blended well with the layered, airy backing vocals I created before. From 3:25 seconds, to the end of the song is where the texture varies and really starts to get interesting starting with the bridge. Up until this point, the texture only consists of 1 lead vocal, 1 harmony vocal, acoustic guitar and electric piano. After this point, three more backing vocal tracks are added ('ahh') building a three part harmony acting as a chordal instrument pedaling through the bars of the bridge. Each of these use the 'Soften Background Vocals' EQ plug plus lots of reverb and ambience. The lowest harmony is panned neutrally in the middle with the middle and high panned either side. This created a thicker, sandwiched harmony and feel. The reverb ensures little to no silence between phrases to create that airy sound. I also used the same mixing techniques for the higher harmony over the lead vocals (a 3rd interval higher).

This full texture drastically thins out in bar 96 (4:06) where there is a repeat of the first verse. In my opinion, this section between bars 96 and 104 (4:06-4:25) is the most emotional section of the song in terms of intimacy and rawness. The texture here is purely acoustic guitar and lead vocals. The lead vocals all the way through have a generous amount of reverb and ambience while still keeping a realistic tone to my voice, along with 'Soften Lead Vocals' which cuts off some low end while maintaining some treble. As explained in a previous section of my diaries, I actually made myself cry to sing this section to make the vocals the most raw and hard hitting as that could be, also while singing fairly close to the microphone. I created the brief drastic disappearance of texture here to create a sense of 'coming back down to earth' after the big bridge before ending the song with an even bigger end chorus/outro.

From bar 104 (4:25 onwards) The texture is even fuller.

Firstly, I added a bluesy, bendy guitar solo which was improvised by Sam (my co-writer). This used the 'Classic Drive' plug in (as labelled in the track list on the left side of the attached screen grab) and was double tracked. I added reverb and slightly lessened the drive to help it blend in more but still keep its appearance. In Bar 117 (4:58), a third track- using the same guitar and tone- harmonises a major 3rd lower. Originally, this section wasn't going to be bigger than the bridge in terms of instrumental layering but I started to experiment with my backing vocals. Whilst aware that the chord progressions in the bridge and chorus differ in terms of order, I copied and pasted the three part harmony back into the last chorus and I found that it still worked really nicely. I then had the idea of bringing back the lead and harmony from the bridge into the last chorus. At first this sounded like there was too many melodies happening at once so I started to play round with mixing these vocals to make them sound less out of place. I cut out some low end and some treble to muffle the consonants (so the vocals weren't as prominent but you could still identify them slightly),and I turned up the reverb and ambience. This worked really well in creating a background chanting sensation.

This inspired me further to add bluesy guitar parts in my song.