Yesterday, a team of paleontologists was excavating a site in Southeast Asia. It seemed like a routine day, until one team member uncovered what appeared to be a fossilized shark tooth.

At first glance, the discovery seemed unremarkable. However, after careful analysis, researchers determined that the fossil did not belong to a shark at all. Instead, it was identified as the tooth of a previously unknown species of dinosaur. The team has named it Dentiveclusaurus (meaning “old-toothed lizard”).

So what makes this long, blade-like tooth so extraordinary?

According to preliminary reports, microscopic structures preserved in the surrounding rock show striking similarities to biological components found in modern humans. Some researchers now speculate that this discovery could radically reshape our understanding of evolution.

Could humans share a deeper evolutionary link with dinosaurs than previously thought?

Unsurprisingly, conspiracy theorists have erupted online, claiming that “the Illuminati knew all along.” While mainstream scientists remain cautious, debate continues to intensify.

In an even more mysterious twist, several members of the research team reportedly went missing shortly after publishing their findings.

Coincidence?

We will continue to follow this developing story.

Apparently there is strong evidence that this figurine does not behave like any other object. It is thought that this figurine can actually trap the soul of anyone. Therefore you could do anything with them, from controlling their mind to reshaping their body.

The story of its creation is less mysterious than its functionality. This figurine coincides with the story of a witch who transformed herself into this figurine.

The USA for international safety reasons seized this object so that no one can use it against anyone. We certainly know they aren't going to use it against any other country.

In need for a human male that’s customised to your liking? You’re in the right place!

We sell them in thousands, each one different from the other (so you can’t risk seeing the same model at your neighbour’s!)

You can buy one of our pre-made ones, fully functional. It can help you in all your daily life activities, whether be it cooking, cleaning, teaching your kids or helping them with their schoolwork at home. Or if you want him to accompany you to your events, parties, meetings, all anything you can think of, he can do.

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Today in the RER B, I found this measuring tape on one of the seats. It did not seem to belong to anyone there and I really wanted to sit down, so I put it in my pocket and forgot about it for the rest of the trip. When I got back home, it was too late to give it to the "Lost and found", so I used it for a while.

It is quite handy : it easily fits in one's pocket, can measure up to 3 meters and even shows the equivalent in inches which is really helpful at times. Overall, I think this fancy object could benefit anyone. I am only selling it because of the guilt coming from its back story.

If you are interested, contact me at thisisnotamail@gmail.com so we can discuss the price.

Julian Fusil

During a particularly long delay -most likely at Gare du Nord- the bacteria in the train evolved into crustacean life forms that were advanced enough to manufacture the needle box. A mass extinction event must have wiped them out off. Their remains fossilised rapidly in the bizarre tunnel atmosphere.

B. Kunur

The greatly reknowned luthier Stradivarius juste released a brand new and never seen before instrument.

With twice the key scale of the triangle, this new invention will rewrite its role among the other percussion instruments drums and in the entire orchestra.

This new revolutionary instrument still remains unnamed for the moment, more informations about the instrument and its price will come along during spring as communicated by the company, and is bound to becomeing the new must-have in any classical and baroque orchestra.

Unfortunately, this being on the tracks did mean several nearby regional train lines had to be partly interrupted until the object could be safely removed from the tracks.

I have the cure.

Introducing the "stainless steel headache." It’s just two rings and a triangle. How hard could it be? That’s what they all say. Within five minutes, you’ll be convinced that the metal is actually melting and re-forming when you aren’t looking.

• No Batteries Required: Powered entirely by your own tears of frustration.

• Eco-Friendly: Made of metal, so it won’t break when you inevitably throw it across the room.

• Portable: Take your existential crisis on the go! Fits right in your pocket.

CAUTION: May cause spontaneous loss of sleep, and an intense distrust of the basic laws of physics .

PRICE: 5 €(or best offer, please just take it out of my house).

As they scouted the beach and attempted to pitch their equivalent of a tent in the sand, a shovel struck a solid object.

It was a black and silver device with a few buttons on top, and what seemed to be a glass circle on the front. One of the explorers pressed a button, was instantly blinded by the flash, and sadly died on the spot.

After centuries studying human civilisation, they finally identified the device as a film camera.

Millions of years later, they successfully managed to access the pictures. It was only then that they truly understood why the extinction of humanity was considered the greatest blessing to ever befall the universe.

Last week famous archeologist and lowkey controversed treasure thief Jones Bamed found a golden idol in a peruvian archeological site. This site, thought to be an ancient inca temple, was already the main topic of ancient inca facebook chanels because of the strange murals recently discovered. Mr Bamed managed to snatch the idol from a hidden room filled with traps and ror once decided to bring it back to his fellow specialists for an in dept analysis.

Turns out the golden idol looked a lot like a modern truck which led Mr Bamed to think it was a fake. But after carbon datation it appeared that it was a legitimate inca idol. Moreover it looked like something was stuck inside, more precisely the idol was cast around it.

As you probably guessed the mysterious object was the mysterious pair of glasses and the idol was broken open to reveal it. And after an intern recognised it from the famous french show you can believe everyone's brain was melting out their ears.

From there research showed wearing the glasses granted one deep understanding of the world around and incredible ability to explain it to others. It may also cause acute schizophrenia, talking to voices called "little voice" and Marcel, some concluded that the glasses were haunted by said voices. 2 lives were losts for these informations and the glasses remains widely mysterious. Also the research is halted due to the glasses disapearing, main suspect is Jones Bamed. Please send any information relevant to the case.

You don’t need it you say? Looking for something more useful for you on a daily basis? This pill container can hold up to 7 stacks of different pills, one for each day of the week. Well divided, each weekday’s initial well written on the top. That way, any person using it won’t get confused. An amazing christmas gift for any grandparents in your family. It is exactly what they need.

If you have any information regarding the type of vehicle it’s commonly used in or know someone that might be the owner, we urge you to contact us as soon as possible.

Presentation by Arthur

Ad drawing by Julian