7 Green Hook and Sizzling Start - compose a Sizzling start or hook by Joseph Borg https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy Compose a Sizzling start or hook in the following Padlet en-us 2023-02-23 22:56:28 UTC 2023-03-14 07:43:30 UTC hello@padlet.com joseph_borg001 https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2493209220 I wonder if you can focus on the drama like what happens in slow motion. ]]> 2023-02-23 22:56:28 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2493209220 joseph_borg001 https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2493209221 I wonder if you can exclude unnecessary details? ]]> 2023-02-23 22:56:28 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2493209221 joseph_borg001 https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2493209222 I wonder if you can include metaphors, similies and descriptive language to strengthen your hook. ]]> 2023-02-23 22:56:28 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2493209222 Example joseph_borg001 https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2493209223 My heart jumped out of my chest as I saw the massive wave of people waiting in line. My legs turned to jelly as what felt like hours passed. Now it was my turn. Now I am so ready!

]]> 2023-02-23 22:56:28 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2493209223 Mr Borg joseph_borg001 https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2493209245 "Wait, I change my mind" Lachlan bellowed! His eyes glared at the instructor. Eyes locked, fist clenched. His destiny sealed with the instructors chuckle. ]]> 2023-02-23 22:56:28 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2493209245 joseph_borg001 https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2493209249
  • Wake up at 6:30
  • Brush teeth and eat breakfast
  • Pick up Sarah and Ryan 
  • Arrive at Raging Waters
  • Standing at the top of the halfpipe
  • Racing down the half pipe backwards
  • Falling off the half pipe. 

    • Identify the action in this sequence. In 10 minutes, generate an intriguing way to engage your audience. 

    ]]>     2023-02-23 22:56:28 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2493209249     lachlan's day https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500280619 "i can't do this!" lachlan screamed, "let me out!" he shouted as he started banging the door against his fist. "one, two..." the instructor said calmly "three" "my chest was pounding i saw the floor creak i jumped and before i know it i'm going down HEAD FIRST!" ]]> 2023-03-01 23:28:42 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500280619 Lachlan's Day - Brush Teeth and Eat Breakfast https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500280770  A swirl of mint and milk filled Lachlan' mouth "EWWWWW" he screamed. "Thats so grosssss, I am never doing that again, lesson learned". Lachlan went to his bag and grabbed his water bottle, he decided to rinse his mouth out before he had the chance to through up. He couldn't get the flavour abomination out of his mouth so he had to brush his teeth once again. ]]> 2023-03-01 23:28:57 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500280770 Lachlans day https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500280848 Lachlans body filled with fear as he got closer and closer. Screams rang through his ears that's when a voice called "your up" .  Lachlan was regretting his decision is this dangerous will i survive he thought to himself. Aaaggghh he began to fall at the speed of light vomit began to swirl in his stomach oh oh he said to himself.]]> 2023-03-01 23:29:06 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500280848 Lachlans Day at Raging Waters https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500281220 As the Life guard instructed us to push the donut onto the Bombora, we all tensed up not ready for the moment. We shouted as loud as a car honking in morning traffic. Then "boom" we had reached steepest slope in the whole of raging waters! "AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!" We all screamed at the top of our lungs.]]> 2023-03-01 23:29:49 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500281220 lachlans day https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500281364 the slide is so tall that my heart started to race like as if it was going to pop,i was so nervous that i was going to fall off the ride "wait! no i don't want to go down!" i begged to my friend "come on don't be such s chicken its just a slide what could possibly go wrong?" he said "yeah...what could possibly go wrong...." i said trembling with fear ]]> 2023-03-01 23:30:02 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500281364 https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500282267 Stop! 
    Don't go! You're going to get yourself hurt! yelled Katherine's mum! As the instructor yelled! 3 2. 1! As she went down the rocket! Her heart was about to leave her soul. ]]>     2023-03-01 23:31:34 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500282267     https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500282312 Wait don't! As Katie looked straight at the at the life guard.She knew she was doomed as soon as she had dropped! Her heart was racing.]]> 2023-03-01 23:31:39 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500282312 lachlan's day. https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500282788 My heart jumped as I heard demonic scratching coming from my room. I froze there not knowing what to do. I had to be brave. I had to fight whoever was making the noise.]]> 2023-03-01 23:32:30 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500282788 english https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500282818 Lachlan was about to walk into this colourful place with with big tall slides then lachlan heard a big sound crashing and people laughing and screaming in joy and heard a cozy soft water sound.]]> 2023-03-01 23:32:33 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500282818 lana https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500282827 "AHHH" screams lachlan as he falls down the deep steep long hollow pipe screaming in fear, the pipe is long and so was his screaming tribbling and shirving regerted he argeed to such thing. so scared he screamed but nothing came out of his mouth,his voice has been left out of his mouth and all he could do it shut his eyes and keep his mouth wide open trying,and trying to yell almost peeing himself, oh he could feel the drop traveling through his body as he falls deep down.]]> 2023-03-01 23:32:34 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500282827 Lachlan https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500282830 The breeze shivers down Lachlan's neck as he stand at the top. His hearted was racing like theres no escape.Lachlan gulped as the people in front of him shrieked on top of their lungs. Finally, it was his turn. Life or death, there was no inbetween.]]> 2023-03-01 23:32:34 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500282830 Lachlan's day https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500282844 As Lachlan arrived to raging waters with Sarah and Ryan he knew he was gonna go the halfpipe. As he got to the halfpipe he started getting more nervous as it got close to his turn but when it was Lachlan's turn he got brave.]]> 2023-03-01 23:32:36 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500282844 Lachlan in the half pipe https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500282931 3 2 1 lachlan's heath is beating so fast it missed a beat lachlan closes he's eye and tryed not to think about it but then a big wave of water pushed him of the rifled he then opened his eye and it was done.But laclan was so scared he didn't go on any more rides that day]]> 2023-03-01 23:32:46 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500282931 hooking a reader https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500283129 boom! as everything got out he took over the world he laughed evilly I had to do something. I jumped at him but his powers were too powerful for me I had to bring people with me to defeat him]]> 2023-03-01 23:33:06 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500283129 hooking a reader https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500283241 Lachlens heart was racing as the kid in front of him dropped.He got in and instantly regret it."3 2 1"lachlens heart dropped as he bolted down the tube.he let out a big scream as he was doing 360's nd water splashing in his face.he reached the end and had a little pee in his pants. ]]> 2023-03-01 23:33:19 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500283241 lana https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500283292 nice]]> 2023-03-01 23:33:23 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500283292 Mr Borg joseph_borg001 https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500283443 I like the way that you have spaced out "one, two" to build suspense before three. The description of calmly is a nice touch]]> 2023-03-01 23:33:40 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500283443 i like that you put yourself in laclan shoes https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500283516 2023-03-01 23:33:48 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500283516 https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500283666 I like how descriptive it was, l feel like I am in his situation. <3]]> 2023-03-01 23:34:03 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500283666 Lachlan's in the half pipe https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500283744 it was to late now there was no going back i took a deep breath and closed my eyes i went down my soul left my body next thing i know is  SPLASH. ]]> 2023-03-01 23:34:12 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500283744 Lachlan's Day https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500283837 A passionate emotion of regret hit him as he started to fall down the slippery slope. The instructor counted down and as each number got closer to the number one, the harder he felt his heart was pounding on his chest trying to break out. He started to try and bang on the glass door as hard as he could. the belt restricted his power towards the glass door. "1" the instructor said. The floor opened...]]> 2023-03-01 23:34:21 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500283837 https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500283931 I like your use of a simile in the start about the cars honking ]]> 2023-03-01 23:34:31 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500283931 https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284015 He begged and pleaded ''please let me out'',he said to the maniack that locked him in.He felt like all the air escaped 3... 2...1... as the floor beneath him fell away, the last thing he heard was the laugh of his worst nightmare.He felt like he saw jesus christ as his sole left his body.He BARLEY survived as he reached the bottom he could see his heart pounding against his chest.]]> 2023-03-01 23:34:36 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284015 https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284116 I like how it is show not tell you explained the sound and area which is so important! <3]]> 2023-03-01 23:34:45 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284116 lana https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284176 good]]> 2023-03-01 23:34:52 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284176 https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284243 I like how you used caps to make it funny and catching]]> 2023-03-01 23:34:58 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284243 i like https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284291 i like how you described how he felt before the drop, feeling how he was going to feel ]]> 2023-03-01 23:35:04 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284291 lana https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284306 good]]> 2023-03-01 23:35:05 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284306 Mr Borg joseph_borg001 https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284333 I like the metaphor - her heart was about to leave her soul. ]]> 2023-03-01 23:35:08 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284333 https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284350 I like the way you used punction in your sentences ]]> 2023-03-01 23:35:09 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284350 https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284382 As Keira went on as her heart skipped two beats. In the distance she saw her brother crying so she began to panic. As they were counting down she wobbled as she was shaking. And then she went dropping down so fast. As she was on, she was screaming he lungs out. ]]> 2023-03-01 23:35:14 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284382 i liked how you hooked me https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284385 2023-03-01 23:35:14 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284385 Fall down https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284434 It was to late now. I took a deep breath in and kept in as the the lifeguard smirked at me seeing my pale face. My soul left my body as I loads of water take over my body. Next minute later the water left my body. I shouted as my eyes started to close.]]> 2023-03-01 23:35:19 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284434 https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284438 I like how you had a build up and told us about how is heart was racing.]]> 2023-03-01 23:35:19 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284438 lana https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284459 cool]]> 2023-03-01 23:35:21 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284459 ur feedback https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284483 I like how you described the surroundings of Lachlan]]> 2023-03-01 23:35:23 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500284483 Lachlan was about to go on the rocket slide but his heart dropped he heard people scream he was with his friend and his friend said dont be scared go on it with me he trembling with fear and he was shaking https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500332738 2023-03-02 00:38:21 UTC https://padlet.com/joseph_borg001/2pkpr9j3b950ktqy/wish/2500332738