I was going to my grandmother’s home, her cooking was one of our favourite smell whenever we visit her. She’s energized and welcoming as always –how I missed her so much. She asked me to go to the Church with her and I was like a young Sheldon asking how sure she was that God is existing. She patted my shoulder and told me –not all you see are true, what you feel is. She hugged me tightly after the mass as I crave for the popped corns and cotton candies I see. She asked me if I feel her warmth and love during the time she hugged me, I nodded agreeing. She asked me if I see the large letter L-O-V-E popping around us, I disagreed. And that very time, I feel God within her. Through her. All His and Her. That what you see is far from what you feel, and so does Truth. Like Zacchaeus, when I’m looking down to myself, to the world and to the universe –God will look up to these. Jesus is within every heart appearing when we need them so much. God initiates our meeting –in right time and in right place, with the right people. The day Zacchaeus opt to surrender all of himself to God, sharing all of his Earthly needs for the sake of helping others, I found myself in him. After the day my grandmother told me that, I changed –I never bother asking if He’s true or not because I can feel he’s existing in everyone who has been doing good and protecting people. That he lives more than any of His creations and that He is presently existing to uplift all the heavy pain. On 2016, I can tell myself that I was suffering from Napoleonic Syndrome where I felt all my frustrations in life –I was too perfectionist, I require myself to be one. Back then, my parents embrace me when they saw me breaking down in my room. They said it’s okay, I don’t have to be the best always –sometimes being good is okay, that sometimes being good means being the best because we have a heart that beats for everything we do. On that time, God is my parents telling me that when things get rough –never quit but rest. That we should not exhaust ourselves so much and give everything until none is left for us anymore. In the short film we have watched, Jesus is the Good in all Pain, Evil and that He is the Divine Grace that save us years ago until now through giving us the salvation. 

            I thank my Lola, for helping me believe in God, to my parents –who still sees the best in me, always. Most importantly, I have been thankful that I devoted myself to God fully because these people have become His instruments in pulling me up. Now I know, like Zacchaeus, I have learnt to give God the supreme Value among anything else because he too, gives himself to us, to cleanse us and give us the salvation we need even if we don’t deserve it. God resonates as the people who love me at my worst version of myself. God becomes the one who tuck me at night saying everything will be alright. And even If I, someday, become one of the most successful persons on Earth –I’ll tell them that to be successful, one does not have to be financially richest, we just need to be the one that is rich in faith, beliefs and has the purest intentions to help. 

 During my younger years, I often visit the sunday school. Now that I am a teenager, I am beyond grateful and happy that I was able to continue to strengthen my relationship with Him where in fact I always attend the youth ministry. I consider myself having an on fire relationship with Jesus. I often find myself talking to Him to bountifully feed my in-depth soul with His words. Not only that I read further what the Bible speaks, I worship Him by dedicating everything that I do to Him. However, there are these inevitable circumstances in which I realize my relationship towards Him seems gradually diminishing. I once became a lukewarm Christian. There was a point in time wherein I left a day with the absence of His words. During Sundays, going to church wasn't as enthusiastic as it should be and instead, I feel like my presence is of complete obligation alone. The longing and hunger for His words was nowhere to be reached. There were also these days in which from the moment I wake up to the period I sleep, I say no prayers.  When it comes to sharing His words and expanding His Kingdom, I sure am a bold Christian who does every little way I can to fulfill this responsibility. But due to these timely society full hasty and untrue judgments, I deprived myself from being a daring Christian from the fear of receiving words such as overly religious. As a member of the Christian community, my eyes were strongly struck as I clearly saw the undeniable fact that I made a huge difference. I convinced myself that He loves me unconditionally, that He would always understand my shortcomings and I have thousands more of days to get back to Him. This made me undo things I do before with utter sincerity. I took Him for granted; I got eaten up with this world I am enjoying. Still and all, He is always the last person to leave me, and who never will. Those moments when I became ignorant of this world that isn't ideal to begin with, my brother fought between the ends of life and death. From there, He proves me that He is a real God. I firmly believe it was Him who ceaselessly granted our prayers by the means of doing miracles. We spent hundreds of thousands just to fight with what my brother was experiencing. My grandfather died, who happened to be the person who sends me to school. Yet, He never did neglect us. He provided everything we need despite my irresponsibilities. What He gave was more than comfort. Up to these days, we are able to manage and survive the day-by-day challenges. Even without the physical presence of my grandfather, we are financially stable. To support that, I was able to be a part of the ever prestigious and the highly majestic educational institution in the name of University of Santo Tomas. Moreover, His everyday guidance like keeping me safe from my house-to-school travel, making me focused in my school activities, and being a member of the UST community is more than what anyone could ever ask for. He continuously flaunts His greatness through showing his absolute love not only to me but in my entire family. That no matter how cold the flakes trying to frost my blazing passion towards Him, His love never fails. Indeed, He is that shepherd who can leave the ninety nine sheep just to find me. 

As I reflect, these images of Jesus in the movie gives me confidence that He also knows me and that He knows what is best for me and so He will call me according to His purpose in my life. It also gives me an assurance that despite my sinful nature, He loves me unconditionally and as He promised if we confess our sins He will be faithful and just to forgive us. 

  Those were the days that I see no God; I see no light or even the slightest possibility to feel genuinely happy or proud. But just like Zacchaeus who had no idea that Jesus knew him and will recognize him I myself found a set of friends who appreciated and recognized me and that is all I ever need to cope up with the Napoleonic Syndrome that I am facing. That kind of friendship saved me and it made me realize that I may feel anxious due to my problems but I am better than my giants. Just like Jesus my friends really rooted for me and despite of my situation they nurtured and accepted me as who I am.

  In life you will face different kinds of giants that will turn your life upside down but always keep in mind that it is important to seek and accept Jesus in your life to be able to face your giants. But for those who are just like me that is lost and emotionally dying, Jesus is there and will seek you for your salvation and when that time comes learn to accept it wholeheartedly as for what Jesus said to Zacchaeus in Luke 19:9-10 Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. 10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”  Never be afraid of your giants, keep in mind that life with Jesus is a life worth living for.

Zacchaeus and I are similar in a way. We both experience being alone and no one wants to be alone. No one really wants to be by himself or herself all their lives.  All of us want some company—may it be a family member, a friend, a relative, or lover. We want someone to spend our time with, someone to share our memories with. We want someone to recognize and acknowlodge us—to deem us important. 

Before, there was a time that I had no one. I was very shy and timid.  I lack the courage and confidence to make friends—to approach others and initiate a conversation. I was very thankful that someone reached out and talked to me even though I was very quiet. We became friends and since then we became important part of each other’s lives. We accept each other’s craziness, weirdness and flaws. My friends always pushed me to be a better version of myself and I do the same. My friends pushed me to be more confident. I am still in the process. Nevertheless, I know, I can do it. I can be better. I just needed someone to push and guide me on the right path and someone to recognize that I can.